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So far, 2013 has been a bad year for movies. Hopefully the fall crop will be better. by Bob Grimm bgrimm@newsreview.com
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his coming fall/holiday movie season is loaded, so much so that I can’t even cover the whole thing in this space. Below is just a sample of the rest of this movie year, and, man, does it look promising. The summer was a bit of a slog, but we’re looking at a major cinematic rally for 2013.
The Counselor
There’s a lot cover, so here we go …
(Oct. 25): Johnny Knoxville does a whole film as his old guy character. If the rest of the movie is half as funny as the scene where the kid does a stripper dance to “Cherry Pie,” this will be a blast.
Gravity
Romeo and Juliet
(Oct. 4): Sandra Bullock and George Clooney get lost in space for director Alfonso Cuaron. I feel like I’ve seen the whole damned thing already because the marketing for this film involves releasing many clips. Stop! I want to be surprised! Early reviews are crazily enthusiastic, so here’s to it kicking some ass.
(Oct. 11): Seventeen years after Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Daines, we are getting another adaptation of this tragic lubby-dubby story, this one being of the more traditional nature. Hailee Steinfeld from True Grit is in it, so I am intrigued. Trivia: Steinfeld was actually born in ’96, the year of the DiCaprio version. You just learned something stupid and useless.
Runner Runner (Oct. 4): Ben Affleck plays big criminal asshole to Justin Timberlake’s just sort of misguided asshole. It involves online gambling and crocodiles, with the future Batman eventually squaring off against the guy who sings that absolutely adorable “Mirrors” song.
All is Lost (Oct. 18): Robert Redford, like Tom Hanks before him, will experience peril on the high seas, sans pirates and, of course, sans Tom Hanks. If you like Redford, this is for you because it is all him.
Captain Phillips
Escape Plan
(Oct. 11): Director Paul Greengrass, master of the shaky cam, pairs with Tom Hanks, master of making us love him because he’s so freaking endearing, in this true story about Somali pirate peril on the high seas. Promises many, many minutes of Hanks looking very anxious.
(Oct. 18): Sylvester Stallone stars as a guy who breaks out of prisons, and Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as a dude sitting in prison. Thirty years ago, this would’ve been HUGE!
Machete Kills (Oct. 11): I’m surprised Machete got a sequel, and I’m even more surprised it got a theatrical release. Groovy.
12 Years a Slave (Oct. 18): Chiwetel Ejiofor, an actor whose face you know but would be hard challenged to pronounce his name correctly, stars as a pre-Civil War free man who is kidnapped and sold into slavery. Already getting Oscar buzz.
Carrie (Oct. 18): Chloe Grace Moretz, she of Hit-Girl fame, stars in this retelling of the Stephen King high school nightmare. Something tells me they have no chance of recreating anything close to the deranged John Travolta pig slaughter scene from Brian De Palma’s original. Actually, they could probably get Travolta to cameo and recreate that scene himself. He’ll do anything these days.
(Oct. 25): Ridley Scott directs Brad Pitt and Michael Fassbender in a film written by Cormac McCarthy. That’s a solid pedigree.
Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
Diana (Nov. 1) and Grace of Monaco (Nov. 29): I’m lumping these two together because they both feature Aussie actresses playing princesses. Naomi Watts plays Diana, while Nicole Kidman is Princess Grace, former Hollywood starlet Grace Kelly. Watts should have at least two Oscars by now, so I’m hoping her movie is the one to finally get her the recognition she deserves (although anybody is hard pressed to beat Cate Blanchett in Blue Jasmine this year).
Ender’s Game (Nov. 1): People have been telling me to read this book for years. I never did. Now it’s a movie with Harrison Ford in it. Pretty sure I will never read this book.
Thor: the Dark World (Nov. 8): Kenneth Branagh brought a Shakespearean goofiness to the first Thor movie. He has left the building, so now somebody else has to make an amusing movie with Hemsworth in that getup and without the aid of Iron Man or The Hulk.
The Wolf of Wall Street (Nov. 15): Scorsese and DiCaprio team yet again for a raucous looking take on financial misbehaving. Matthew McConaughey and Jonah Hill costar. I have a feeling Hill will lose out in any Supporting Actor Oscar campaign due to his demon rape scene in This is the End.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (Nov. 22): There’s another Hunger Games movie on the way. Joy.
Delivery Man (Nov. 22): Vince Vaughn stars as a man who has fathered many children with donated sperm, and now they want to meet him. After the horror that was The Internship, I will throw soda at the screen if he says “Google” just once in this movie. 16 | RN&R |
SEPTEMBER 12, 2013
