in Good Company
From crazy Cousin Eddie to the Grinch’s canine sidekick, RN&R’s favorite winter movie characters are not your average cup of cocoa By Bo B G R i m m • BG R i m m @ n e Ws R e v i e W.C om
For this year’s edition of cinematic holiday nostalgia, let’s remember some of the more memorable holiday movie characters and entities. What qualifies a character or thing as an all-time great in this here article? When I think of these films and specials, these are the first characters and things that pop into my head. While some of the picks are predictable, I’m a weird guy, so some of the picks are semi-controversial and might put a damper on your holiday. Randy fRom A ChristmAs story Darren McGavin’s (Kolchak!) dad is an alltime legendary movie figure, but the first one I think of when considering Bob Clark’s classic is little brother Randy, sitting in his cave beneath the sink, and crying that “Daddy’s gonna kill Ralphie!” When his momma offers a glass of milk, he gladly takes it and closes the door. Also, his winter-wear ruled.
GeoRGe Bailey fRom it’s A Wonderful life An obvious pick—nobody beats George Bailey in this movie. But let’s not just remember older George, played by James Stewart. A friend of mine once pointed something out: One of the most devastating, memorable moments in this movie is young George Bailey (Bobbie Anderson) getting hit in his sore ear by drunken and crazed Mr. Gower the druggist. OK, not the happiest of memories for this holiday film, but it is a testament to how the movie really did tap into so many emotions. Oh shit, I just remembered little George saving his brother from the ice water and going deaf in that ear. I’m all bummed out now.
noBody fRom home Alone Screw this overrated P.O.S. 16
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yukon CoRnelius in rudolph the red-nosed reindeer I always thought it was super cool how he could tell if he struck gold or not by licking his pickaxe. I also dug the way he taught the abominable snowman how to decorate a tree after pulling all of his teeth out. Hey, wait a minute? I just remembered that Yukon tortured that beast by pulling all of his teeth out and making him his Christmas slave. Yukon was the monster!
stRipe fRom Gremlins
hans GRuBeR in die hArd We lost a great one this year. R.I.P. Alan Rickman. Your “Oh, shit!” face falling off the Nakatomi tower lives forever.
the tRee in A ChArlie BroWn ChristmAs
mR. maGoo in mr. mAGoo’s ChristmAs CArol “It’s great to be back, back, back, back on Broadway. BROADWAY!!!” Sorry if you don’t get this reference. This one is not for you then. But, if you haven’t seen this, you should watch it, and watch it now.
Best Christmas tree ever, all bent over from that heavy ornament.
sinBad in JinGle All the WAy
thuRman meRman in BAd sAntA
I’m sure his mailman character had a name in this movie about a jerky dad (Arnold Schwarzenegger) trying to get a doll for his son. I just see him as the one and only Sinbad. And since I think Sinbad is a dick, I don’t watch this movie.
Gizmo is adorable and reminds me of my dog, but Stripe coined the phrase “Gizmo caca.” The award goes to the evil gremlin.
The first thing I think of in Bad Santa is the little chubby kid running around bleeding after he tried to wrap a present for his malevolent buddy.
max the doG fRom the animated hoW the GrinCh stole ChristmAs
JaCk fRost the WeiRdlookinG snoWman in JACk frost
Of course The Grinch himself is a big deal, but my memories always go to that poor dog with the antlers strapped to his head, hanging over the mountain with the sleigh teetering on the top. A mistreated pup that finally gets the life he deserves in the end after years living with a total asshole.
Hey, most memorable doesn’t necessarily mean best. Of all the snowmen in movie history, the one Michael Keaton voiced for this clunker remains emblazoned in my brain. The thing befriends a little boy, but if I were that kid I’d have taken a shovel to that awful looking thing. It’s evil and will eat your soul!
oWen in plAnes, trAins & AutomoBiles Steve Martin and John Candy reign supreme in this “It’s a Thanksgiving Movie but I’m Allowing for It in Here Anyway” classic. Owen was the driver played by Dylan Baker, who picks up the tired duo and lets them ride in the back of his pickup in the frigid cold. I’ll never forget the way he opened his mouth, snorted, got all wide-eyed and spat tobacco, getting it all over Steve Martin’s hand. Man, the holidays are just odd around my place.
