Advice Goddess

Casualties of war paint

by AMY ALKON

I dragged my boyfriend into the makeup store Sephora and he said, “Save your money! You don’t need any of this stuff. I like you better without makeup.” Huh? Why is there a huge makeup industry when so many men say they don’t even like makeup? A whole lot of us are in some denial about makeup. Sure, there are men who really do like women better without a drop of the stuff. Then there are those who just think they do—like the men on Reddit who posted all of these supposed “no makeup!” photos of female celebs. I particularly loved one of Jenna Jameson that a guy captioned “before all the surgeries and without makeup.” Meanwhile, tiny type below the photo lists the makeup and hair goo she actually has on.

Biological anthropologist Douglas Jones finds that men are attracted to women with somewhat “neotenous” features—meaning somewhat baby-like ones like big eyes, full lips, a small jaw and chin and clear skin—which correlate with health and fertility. So, basically, what we call “beauty” is evolution’s version of a street-corner sign spinner: “Genes passed on here!!! Best babies in town!!!”

In other words, makeup is fake-up—a woman’s way of making herself out to have more neotenous features and thus a higher mate value than she actually does. The male version of this is leasing a topof-the-line Tesla while living in a tent in Grandma’s backyard.

So, a man will think he has an aversion to makeup, but it’s really an aversion to being deceived by it. This doesn’t mean you have to stop wearing it. Just keep in mind that—except for special occasions and those special dudes who are into your looking like your office is a pole—men generally prefer the “natural look.” Of course, the reality is, this sort of “natural” is about an hour and a dozen products away from being “au naturel.” What ultimately matters is that you don’t look so dramatically different in makeup that when your boyfriend bumps into the barefaced you at the fridge in the wee hours, he puts his hands up and yells, “Take whatever you want—just let me live!”

Buddy surfing

This guy and I have been friends with benefits for six months. We were casual friends for two years prior to hooking up, but we have gotten much closer since. So, can FWB things ever turn into real relationships, or did we blow our chance? Friends-with-benefits arrangements are, to some degree, replacing dating. Unfortunately, trying to turn an FWB thing into a relationship can be like trying to return a shirt you’ve worn for a while.

It’s helpful to understand what anthropologist Helen Fisher and her colleagues have discovered— that lust, love, and attachment aren’t just emotions; they are motivational systems (ultimately for the purpose of reproduction and child rearing). Lust eventually wanes (which makes sense, because “Ohhh, baby” needs to give way to feeding the baby). The neurochemistry behind lust “can trigger expressions of attachment,” Fisher explains. However, in men, high testosterone—in general or from having sex—“can reduce attachment.” This is probably more likely if a man has a “high baseline level of testosterone,” which is typically reflected in a strong jaw and chin, a muscular body and dominant behavior.

Because you two were friends first and seem to care about each other, maybe you can be more than sex friends. Tell him you really enjoy hanging with him and ask whether he’d be up for more than FWB. But take the low-pressure approach. This should make you seem less desperate and possibly let him feel like having more was his idea. If he wants less, you should probably stop seeing him—at least naked—for a while. He may end up missing you, which could energize his interest in you in a way FWB tends not to do. They call it “the thrill of the chase,” not the thrill of “you can text any day at 2 a.m. and she’ll let you come over.” Ω

Got a problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave., No. 280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or email AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com).

2016 American Business Women’s Day

Join our annual celebration recognizing the achievements of business women Wed, Sept 21, 2016 • 11AM-1PM

Atlantis Casino Resort Spa 3800 S. Virginia St., Reno

Presentation: Girl, We Rock!

Featuring Keynote Speaker Dr. Angie Taylor

Every day, women routinely accomplish tasks that make our organizations, families and communities better, but seldom do we take the time to notice. We add value to the lives of those around us at work, home and play often making personal sacrifices along the way. Yet, we are much more likely to doubt our value, our worth and ourselves. Listen as we discover how the unique greatness in us brings out greatness in the people and things around us.

Mistress of Ceremonies

Arianna Bennett, Anchor and Reporter for Reno’s KTVN Channel 2 News. She is also the host of Face the State.

NetWoRk with other Northern Nevada professionals exPeRieNCe the motivational energy of Dr. Angie taylor Enjoy lunch, raffles and a grand prize drawing tiCketS $40/each or $300/table of 8 Purchase tickets at www.abwa-reno.com

Questions? Email: rten_abwa@yahoo.com Reservation deadline 9/15 at 11:59 p.m. Tickets will NOT be sold at the door

SPONSORED IN PART BY

CARSON CITY COMMUNITY CENTER: Silver

StateSwimmer. The Capital City Arts Initiative presents artwork by artist Michael Malley at the Carson City Community Center’s Sierra Room. M-Th, 8am-5pm through 11/10. Free. 851 E.

William St., Carson City, (775) 887-2290.

CARSON CITY COURTHOUSE GALLERY: New

Crop2016, The Capital City Arts Initiative presents artwork by five Sierra Nevada College and University of Nevada, Reno master of fine arts candidates. M-F, 8am5pm through 9/29. Free. 885 E. Musser St., Carson City, www.arts-initiative.org.

CHAMPAGNE BEAUTY BAR, LLC: Kathleen’s

ArtCreationsBoutiqueShow. The Charlie B Gallery and Champagne Beauty Bar, LLC, presents this boutique show featuring the art of Kathleen Heiner Stemler. Th, 9/15, 6-8:30pm. 107 W. Telegraph St., Carson City, www.charliebgallery.com.

FRONT DOOR GALLERY, CHURCH FINE ARTS

BUILDING, UNIVERSITY OF NEVADA,

RENO: BrettFlanigan. The first show in University Galleries’ new mural series features mural art by the Oaklandbased artist. M-F through 11/11. Free. 1664 N. Virginia St., (775) 784-6658.

HOLLAND PROJECT MICRO GALLERY AT BIBO

COFFEE CO.: PinkCheeks. Local art-

ist Megan Lynch’s exhibition features bright and bold illustrations showcasing women of different shapes and colors. M-Su through 9/30. Free. 945 Record St., www.hollandreno.org.

MYSTIQUE RESTAURANT & LOUNGE: Diversity:

InvitationalPhotographyShow. The Charlie B Gallery and Mystique Restaurant & Lounge presents this Northern Nevada photography show featuring work by 13 Nevada photographers. M-Su through 9/17. Free. 318 N. Carson St., Carson City, (775) 434-7404.

OXS GALLERY, NEVADA ARTS COUNCIL: MiCasa

es MiCasa. In the Nevada Arts Council’s latest OXS Gallery exhibit, Justin Favela looks at the idea of “home.” The native Nevadan pays homage to his Guatemalan maternal grandmother by recreating objects found in her home. Objects that have been part of the domestic landscape for his entire life have helped form his identity and in the exhibition, represent the love he has for his grandmother and her home. M-F, 8am-5pm through 10/14. Free. 716 N. Carson St., Ste. A, Carson City, (775) 687-6680.

RENO ART WORKS: RAWOpenStudios. Meet

the artists, explore the studios and buy local art. Third Sa of every month, noon-

5pm through 12/17. 1995 Dickerson Road, (775) 225-7295, www.renoartworks.org.

SPARKS HERITAGE MUSEUM: ShowYour

Colors. Sparks Museum & Cultural Center presents the work of Sierra Watercolor Society artists. An artists’ reception will be held on Sept. 24. Tu-Sa through 10/1. Free. 814 Victorian Ave., Sparks, (775) 355-1144.

SHEPPARD CONTEMPORARY GALLERY: Honey

Baby. As part of Janine Antoni and Stephen Petronio’s first visual collaboration, “Honey Baby” is a video of a folding, tumbling body within a honey-filled environment. Through an aesthetically aligned approach, the artists explore states of physical intensity, unleashing visceral and emotional responses through collaborative work. Tu-F, noon4pm through 10/22. Opens 9/15. Church STREMMEL GALLERY: MikeBergandMarc

Katano. Stremmel Gallery presents an exhibition of new works featuring Berg’s tapestries and Katano’s works on paper. M-Sa through 10/1. Free. 1400 S. Virginia St., (775) 786-0558.

TAHOE GALLERY AT SIERRA NEVADA COLLEGE:

WhenTheRoadWasARiver. Recent works from alumni and 2015 POD Award recipient Tom Letson. M-F through 9/23; Th, 9/22, 5-7pm. 999 Tahoe Blvd., Incline Village, (775) 831-1314.

Call for artists

CALL FOR ART: OCTOBER POP-UP SHOW: Pitch

Black Printing Company will host an alien-themed Halloween pop-up show on Oct. 22. Artists of all genres are encouraged to submit work with an alienrelated, Halloween theme. Visit website for details. M-Su through 9/24. Free. Pitch Black Printing Company, 1108 California Ave., www.pitchblackprintingco.com.

MuseuMs

FOURTH WARD SCHOOL MUSEUM: The

ComstockThroughTime. This exhibit highlights some of the history of the Comstock through photographs and personal accounts. Then-and-now photographs help to emphasize the changes in the community and surrounding area. Books, journal entries and oral histories will give the visitor a first-hand account of daily life. M-Su, 10am-5pm through

10/31. $5 adults, $3 for children ages 6-16, free for children age 5 and younger. 537 S. C St., Virginia City, (775) 847-0975.

LAKE MANSION: FreeGuidedToursatthe

LakeMansion. The Lake Mansion is one of the few residences in the area that is listed on the Nevada State Register of

Historic Places and the National Register of Historic Places that is also open to the public to explore. F, noon through 12/31.

Opens 9/16. Free admission, donations accepted. 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100.

NEVADA MUSEUM OF ART: AiWeiwei—Circle

ofAnimals/ZodiacHeads:Gold, W-Su through 10/23; DennisParks:Land, LanguageandClay, W-Su through 1/8; LeikoIkemura:PoeticsofForm,W-Su through 1/15; TrevorPaglen:Orbital Reflector, W-Su through 12/31; Tiltingthe Basin:ContemporaryArtofNevada, W-Su through 10/23; RobertAdams: AroundtheHouse, W-Su through 12/11; UgoRondinone:SevenMagicMountains, W-Su through 5/11; AnnaMcKee:68,000 YearsofIce, W-Su through 9/18; Anthony McCall:Swell, W-Su through 1/8; Andrea Zittel:Wallsprawl, W-Su through 12/31; ContemporaryNevada:Stateofthe State, W-Su through 10/23. $1-$10. 160 W.

Liberty St., (775) 329-3333.

WILBUR D. MAY MUSEUM, RANCHO SAN RAFAEL REGIONAL PARK: Marriedto

Adventure. The safari-themed exhibition tells the story of Martin and Osa Johnson—daring naturalists, filmmakers, photographers, explorers and American heroes of the 1910s-1930s. This exhibition is on loan from the Safari Museum in Chanute, Kansas and features more than 100 original photographs, movie posters and artifacts that capture the romance and adventure that characterized Martin and Osa’s life together. W-Su through 10/30. $9 adults, $8 seniors, children. 1595 N. Sierra St., (775) 785-5961. 9/17:Victorian Steampunk Ball High Desert

Steam presents its sixth annual ball in Virginia City on Saturday, Sept. 17. This year’s theme is “Under the Sea.” The event includes a costume contest, photo booth, dessert buffet, cash bar with drink specials, music by the Velveteen Band and the Nathaniel Johnstone Band and entertainment by the Aether Brigade and the League of Proper Villains. Attendees can gather along C Street at noon for the annual parade, shop at vendor booths next to Piper’s Opera House, or take a ride on the V&T Railroad. There will also be a dinner theater event prior to the ball featuring a buffet dinner and entertainment starting at 5 p.m. at Piper’s Opera House, 12 N. B St., Virginia City. Tickets are $29-$59. The ball follows at 8 p.m. at Piper’s. Tickets for the ball are $59-$75. Tickets are $25 for children age 12 and younger. Visit http:// highdesertsteam.com.

filM

RADICAL REELS FILM FESTIVAL TOUR: See

some of the best high-adrenaline films from the Banff Mountain Film Festival. Raffle prizes and no host bar available at the event. Profits from the film festival will go to Snowlands Network, a nonprofit organization for sustainable winter recreation. Su, 9/18, 7pm. $20. Atlantis Casino Resort Spa, 3800 S. Virginia St., (530) 265-6424, www.snowlands.org.

THE SILK ROAD OF POP: This documen-

tary of Central Asia’s music scene is directed by artist Sameer Farooq, who also has an exhibition at Sheppard Contemporary. A question-and-answer session will follow the film screening. This event is a collaboration between University Galleries, the departments of Anthropology and Gender, Race and Identity. M, 9/19, 7pm. Free. Wells Fargo Auditorium, Mathewson-IGT Knowledge Center, University of Nevada, Reno, 1664 N. Virginia St. (775) 784-4278.

Poetry/literature

READING AND SLIDE SHOW: Northern

California author Dorothy Rice will read from TheReluctantArtist:JoeRice 1918-2011, an art book and memoir about her father, a prolific and classically trained artist who produced dozens of masterful paintings and ceramics over a lifetime of teaching and studying art, but who chose not to show his work or seek recognition as an artist. The reading will be accompanied by a slide show covering over 40 years of Joe Rice’s artistic output. Su, 9/18, 6-7pm. Free. Art Truckee, 10072 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, (530) 587-8460.

THE WRITER’S BLOCK: This is an open mic

for writers to share with an openminded, respectful crowd. First and third Thursday every month. Th, 9/15, 7pm. Fine Vines Cheese & Wines, 6300 Mae Anne Ave., Ste. 3, (775) 298-5285.

MusiC

9/11 MEMORIAL SERIES: TOCCATA—Tahoe

Symphony Orchestra and Chorus will finalize their 2016 Tahoe Summer MusicFest with a four-concert series commemorating the 15th anniversary of the 9/11 tragedy and features the Brahms Requiem and Lalo’s Symphonie Espagnolewith guest artist Elizabeth Pitcairn performing on the legendary Red Stradivarius Violin. F, 9/16, 7pm. $5-$40, free for youth under age 18 in non-preferred seating. St. Theresa Catholic Church, 1041 Lyons Ave., South Lake Tahoe; Su, 9/18, 4pm. $5-$40, free for youth under age 18 in non-preferred seating. Cornerstone Church, 300 Country Club Drive, Incline Village, (775) 313-9697, www.toccatatahoe.com.

FULL MOON PARTY AT WEST SHORE CAFE:

Enjoy the view of the full moon rising over Lake Tahoe with live music by Jeff Jones. Th, 9/15, 5:30-8:30pm. Free.

West Shore Cafe, 5160 W. Lake Blvd., Homewood, (530) 584-6867.

RENO CHAMBER ORCHESTRA: VIVA ITALIA!:

To start off the 2016-17 season, pianists Antonio Pompa-Baldi and Emanuela Friscioni, who made their Reno debuts at the 2015 Nevada Chamber Music Festival, return to perform with Maestro Theodore Kuchar and the Reno Chamber Orchestra. Pompa-Baldi performs the Piano Concerto in A minor by Respighi and he and Friscioni join forces for the Concerto for Two Pianos by Poulenc. The rest of the program features excerpts from Italian operas of the 19th century, including those by Verdi and Rossini. Sa, 9/17, 7:30pm; Su, 9/18, 2pm. $5-$50.

Nightingale Concert Hall, Church Fine Arts Building, University of Nevada, Reno, 1335 N. Virginia St., (775) 348-9413.

sPorts & fitness

GALENA CREEK GUIDED HIKE: Join a natural-

ist along one of the Galena Park trails and learn about the area. Bring water, sunscreen, hiking boots or snowshoes (depending on weather.) Sa, 10am. $5 suggested donation. Galena Creek Visitor Center, 18250 Mt. Rose Highway, (775) 849-4948. IDLEWILD HEALTH WALKS: These interpreta-

tive walks are designed to offer people in all stages of Alzheimer’s and their carepartners an opportunity to get outdoors, get some exercise and socialize with their peers. The walks begin and end at the Truckee Meadows Parks Foundation Office, across from the California Building in Idlewild Park. Every other Tu, 10-11am through 12/13. Free. Idlewild Park,

1900 Idlewild Drive (775) 453-0698.

onstage

VICTORY: A TRIUMPH OF SPIRIT: The

Alchemists share their unique relationship to Christ. For many it is a positive new relationship, others a long-standing connection, and for a few it is a strained, conflicted bond. All relationships will be shared authentically on stage. How Bazaar—A Healing Marketplace opens at 6:45pm, offering a variety of free healings, including prayer, reiki, readings and more. W, 9/21, 7:30-9pm. $15-$50. Center for Spiritual Living, Reno, 4685 Lakeside Drive, www.alchemistmovement.org.

DINNER MURDER MYSTERY: Funtime Theater

present its dinner murder mysteries. The show starts at 6:30pm with dinner service starting at 7pm. Visit website for dinner selections. Third Sa of every month, 6pm through 11/18. Opens 9/17. $50. Lili’s,

2325 Kietzke Lane, (866) 449-7630 ext. 1, http://funtimetheater.com.

ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE: Reno Little Theater

presents Henrik Ibsen’s drama, adapted by Arthur Miller, about a small town physician’s determination to stand by his convictions and tell the truth despite threats and social ostracization. Th, 9/15, 7:30pm; F, 9/16, 7:30pm; Sa, 9/17, 7:30pm; Su, 9/18, 2pm; Th, 9/22, 7:30pm; F, 9/23, 7:30pm; Sa, 9/24, 7:30pm; Su, 9/25,

2pm. $12-$22. Reno Little Theater, 147 E. Pueblo St., (775) 813-8900.

UNCANNY VALLEY: Restless Artists’ Theatre presents its first production in their new location. Thomas Gibbons’ new play charts the relationship between Claire, a neuroscientist, and Julian, a non-biological human. Th-Sa, 7:30pm through 9/3. $15

general admission, $12 students, seniors, military. Restless Artists’ Theatre, 295 20th St., Sparks, (775) 525-3074.

Classes

LETTERPRESS WORKSHOP: Amber Seguine

of Flywheel Press will guide participants through extensive details on operating a windmill during this three-day workshops. F, 9/16, 9:30am-5pm. $600.

Atelier Truckee, 10128 Donner Pass Road, Truckee, (530) 386-2700, www.ateliertruckee.com.

PAINT & SIP: ROAD WITH CYPRESS AND STAR:

Transform a master painting into your own 16”x 20” acrylic painting masterpiece. The featured painting will be Vincent Van Gogh’s “Road with Cypress and Star.” Bring your own beverage/ snacks. W, 9/21, 5:30-8:30pm. $30 (sup-

plies included in cost). Lake Mansion, 250 Court St., (775) 826-6100 ext. 2.