From Left to Right: Benjamin Tennikoff, Timon Klein, Taya Smith, Michael Guy Chislett, Jad Gillies, Dylan Thomas, Joel Houston, JD Douglass, Adam Crosariol, Simon Kobler, Matt Crocker
first international show in Canada. “I remember we traveled to Canada and were the house worship band for this conference with these other Christian music stars, although we had no idea who they were at the time,” Houston says. “We were cut off from Christian music. So we’re all watching TobyMac jump around and Delirious? playing, and we got up to play these worship songs we had written for our youth ministry. We were thinking no one’s going to know them, so let’s pull out ‘Our God is an Awesome God’ or whatever we started with. “It was so funny because we were there for four days and at first it was just dead,” he continues. “We thought we sucked and the whole thing sucked and no one worshipped God whatsoever. They just kind of blankly stared at us. Then I remember at the end of the four days seeing all these kids just going crazy for God, singing these songs. I remember at that point thinking, ‘This is incredible. There could be something in this. These songs have the ability to travel.’ “I’ve always loved that about music—the idea that somebody in some obscure place in the middle of nowhere, literally the end of the earth, could write a song and that song could travel around the world. I think it was at that point our eyes were opened to the idea that maybe God had bigger plans than just what was happening in Australia.” But later, things took a turn. 56
SEPT/OCT 2013
READY TO QUIT
“Two years ago I was ready to throw the towel in completely,” Houston says. “Not on my faith, but basically on everything attached to ministry.” On the heels of an Ethiopian trip with charity: water and before a tour in South America, Houston and company were in the midst of recording Live in Miami, the band’s 2012 release. It was at that point everything fell apart for Houston personally. “I just felt dry,” he says. “I can’t describe it to you. I just felt empty. I remember being up there leading worship feeling like everyone was getting excited except for me, and I just felt like I was in the driest place of my life. I didn’t feel anything. I was completely numb to everything. And I remember feeling, ‘This is horrible. If this is what it’s going to be like, I don’t
want to be a part of it. I don’t want to do this.’ “Looking back on that now, I can reflect on a whole lot of different things that were going on,” he explains, “but at the time, I was just exhausted, and I was emotionally unstable, to be honest. I felt completely alone. I had to take a break.” Houston backed out of the South America trip after consulting with his father, Hillsong Church’s senior pastor Brian Houston. That began a sabbatical that extended from three to six months. Houston stepped away from his responsibilities as the global creative director of Hillsong Church and his role in United. After undergoing surgery to repair his voice and spending significant time away, Houston says he was unsure he would return to the band. “I honestly thought I was never going to lead worship again,” he says. “I doubted if I would ever be on a platform again because I just didn’t feel like I could do it.” Carl Lentz, who has co-pastored Hillsong NYC with Houston since 2010, says he didn’t see Houston’s break as him stepping away from ministry, but rather as him taking what