NICARAGUA TO ... HOMEOWNERS?
We feel your pain. We live in that tension. As undergrads a decade ago, we were on the leading edge of the justiceminded evangelical wave. We were misfits and proud of it. We fasted at a ministry-hosted banquet in protest of what we deemed a misuse of funds. We were voted “Most Likely to Give Away Their Last Dollar.” We started a group called The Revolution (and this was pre-Claiborne). We led a book club on Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger. We sponsored children overseas. We offended a friend by questioning how much he spent on hair gel. We graduated and put our scant money where our mouth was. We moved to Nicaragua, in search of what Jesus meant in Luke when He said, “Blessed are the poor.” We lived in poverty with no power, no safe drinking water, no transport, no cell phones, no health insurance and no hospitals within five hours. After a year back in the United States as live-in caregivers for an elderly man, we moved to China for two years. We had two children. We refused to buy fancy strollers and changing tables, and instead carried the kids with us on our next move, to South Africa. It might sound like we were living the radical justice-lovers’ dream. Already, though, the realities of new life stages had crept in. We struggled with the attention our blond infant received surrounded by the 3 million Chinese residents in the city where we lived. We ruled out jobs in parts of Africa with landmines, coup threats, constant temperatures in the triple digits or where English wasn’t spoken. In South Africa, we lived in constant tension: richer than neighbors without electricity or cars but poor enough to qualify for welfare when we came back to the U.S. There were constant robberies in our neighborhood, but we had a guard outside our apartment gate. Were we wise parents looking for effective ministry ... or has-beens going soft? And now, for the first time in our lives, we own a house. We moved back to the U.S. in late 2009, took 9-to-5 jobs, put our kids in school, and acquired two cars, a motorcycle, four bicycles and a half-dozen monthly bills.
We sold the wet-dog-scented pleather recliner we got for free. We bought big plastic shelves and big plastic tubs to store our big plastic stuff. With every step up comes pressure to move up faster. We look around at peers coming home from cruise vacations to new Pottery Barn furniture in their five-bedroom homes, but they’re nice people, and who are we to judge their lives? We may still have a kitchen table with six different chairs, unframed wall hangings and a 1995 Ford Escort with more than 200,000 miles and rust-rimmed wheel wells, but these things don’t make us holier people. Like most of our peers, we struggle to find time to volunteer, and we hardly have any friends of different ethnic or economic backgrounds. We send some money to nice organizations and then go buy ourselves an iPhone.
hours a week, 10 gallons of water, deadly herbicides and a gallon of gas every week just maintaining their lawn?” What you didn't say is what you were really thinking: “I’m better than them.” Maybe these views stemmed from good principles, but if you’re anything like us, you’re probably also stained with your own ignorance and self-righteousness. Jesus said a whole lot about money, generosity and pouring out your life for the Kingdom of God. He challenged and even offended a lot of people. But He also said, “Do not judge.” Not only is judging unbecoming of our own hearts, it won’t inspire anybody else to change. It’s hard to play a positive role in the repositioning of someone’s perspective. Those shifts don’t happen more than a few times a lifetime for most people. It usually starts when a good friend takes time to listen while a person processes the particular questions arising in his or her own life. So if somebody’s choices irk you, start by hearing why they’ve made those choices. You may have doctors, engineers and business leaders in your friend group, but they won’t be your friends for long if you
LET OTHER PEOPLE MAKE THEIR OWN CHOICES, BUT LOOK CLOSELY AT YOUR OWN, TOO. Like it or not, life carries you along into new phases. You will face new realities, new opportunities, new responsibilities. Some radical stances are only tenable while a student, single or before kids, but that doesn’t mean new radical stances don’t come along. They just look different. For every new stage, you face new tough choices. You have to constantly re-wrestle and revise your values and commitments because fervor and conviction can so easily fade away in the face of a culture that does not support them.
NUDGING, NOT JUDGING
Maybe you’ve said: “I can’t believe he bought that. What a waste.” Or: “Vacation? Selfish. Retirement? Unbiblical.” Or, “How can they spend three
decide across the board they should quit their jobs, give everything away and volunteer somewhere. Chances are they already wrestle with how to spend the money they earn. Wrestle with them, in community, but don’t tell them what to do. If you want to talk about justice, meet them where they are and connect to what they relate to. Tell them what you believe, but not with a preachy tone that says they have to do the same. And listen to what they believe—you never know, you might have something to learn from them. Let other people make their own choices, but look closely at your own, too. When you make purchases, ask: “Why do I want this? Is it necessary? Is it beneficial? Is it how God would want me to spend His money?” Learn to examine your motives—are you doing something because it’s what everyone else does? Are you doing that thing to make other people respect and like you? Would the world be a better place if others followed your example? Are you being RELEVANTMAGAZINE.COM / 41