The Informer
Dublin Distractions The solution to this crossword will appear in the next issue.
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Across
Across 1 - Small houses (8) Pass (anag) (anag)(4) (4) 66 -- Pass 8 - Arm muscles (6) 8 - Arm muscles (6) 9 - Workplace (6) - Young child 910 - Workplace (6) (3) 11 - Pleasant (4) 10 - Young child (3) 12 - Casting an evil spell (6) 13 --Pleasant Provoke(4) (6) 11 15 - Take away (6) 12 17 --Casting Chatteran(6)evil spell (6) 20 --Provoke Soil; uncleanness (4) 13 (6) 21 - False statement (3) 15 (6) place (2,4) 22 --Take In theaway original 23 --Chatter Donors(6) (anag) (6) 17 24 - Transmits heredity (4) 20 uncleanness (4) 25 --Soil; Falcons (8) 1 - Small houses (8)
Down
Down 2 - Belief (7) 2 - Belief (7) 3 - Subject; topic 3 -(5) Subject; topic (5) 4 - Motion; movement (7) 5 - Apathy (5) 4 - Motion; movement (7) 6 - Attached (7)5 - Apathy (5) 7 - Brown oval nut (5) 6 - Attached (7) 14 - Stimulate (7) 15 - Turns attention fromoval (7) nut (5) 7 - Brown 16 - Lift sharing arrangement (3,4) 14 - Stimulate (7) 18 - Unit of weight (5) 19 - Pull out (5)15 - Turns attention from (7) 20 - Nadir (anag) (5)
21 - False statement (3)
Are Ya Havin' A Laff? TAXI PLEASE
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16 - Lift sharing arrangement (3,4) 18 - Unit of weight (5) 19 - Pull out (5)
A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, 'I'm sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me. The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much. The driver replied, 'No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab...................I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.' PLEASE GOD!! Jonny was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said: 'Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place
I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey!' Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Jonny looked up again and said, 'Never mind, I found one.' IT WASN’T ME An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, 'Sir, have you been drinking?' 'Just water,' says the priest. The trooper says, 'Then why do I smell wine?' The priest looks at the bottle and says, 'Good Lord! He's done it again!' BATH TOWEL A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Tom, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Tom says, 'I'll give you €800
Sudoku
This Month in History
23 - Donors (anag) (6)
24 - Transmits heredity (4)
Paris founded
1200 In China, sunglasses are invented
1934 Himmler takes command of German Concentration Camps
1550 Chocolate is introduced
1942 Anne Frank (aged 13) goes into hiding with her family and four other Jews
1608 Preparations commence for the plantation of Ulster
1944 Japanese komakize attacks on US lines in Saipan
1616 Death of Hugh O Neill (one of "the Flight of the Earls") in Rome
1951 Dublin's Abbey Theatre destroyed by fire
1681 Oliver Plunkett hanged, drawn and quartered in London
1958 Alaska becomes 49th state 1960 USSR shoots down US B 47 reconnaissance plane
1690 Battle of the Boyne. Victory for William of Orange
1960 Ireland sends troops to the Congo
1856 Birth of George Bernard Shaw
1960 First " Late Late Show" with Gay Byrne is broadcast
1866 Completion of the first submarine cable link underneath the Atlantic (Valentia Island, Co Kerry to Trinity Bay, Newfoundland)
1971 Britain and Argentina sign accord about Falklands/ Malvinas
1900 First Zeppelin Airship flies 1901 Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid rob a train of $40,000 in Montana 1907 The Irish Crown Jewels vanish from Dublin Castle never to be found
Phil was at the bar one night, and complained about having a headache. "I've got a great cure for a headache," said his mate Trev. "Whenever I have a headache I head home and I get my wife to make love to me. Never fails." A week went by and they were in the bar again, talking. "Did you try my headache cure," asked Trev. "Yeah" said Phil, "worked great! Your house is nice, too!"
1979 Voyager 2 flies past Jupiter
Solution next issue.
1 6 7 8 8 5
25 - Falcons (8)
1893 Founding of the Gaelic League in order to revive the Irish language and culture
Sure Cure
20 - Nadir (anag) (5)
22 - In the original place (2,4)
951
to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of him. After a few seconds, Tom hands her €800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks: 'Who was that?' 'It was Tom the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the €800 he owes me?'
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4 9 4 3 6 2 7 5 8 8 3 6 5 1 9 1 2 7 2 8 5
Scribble Box
1980 7 die in a stampede to see the Pope in Brazil 1985 Live Aid concert held in London and Philadelphia. Irish people contribute £8 million 1990 Republic of Ireland beaten by Italy 0 - 1 in quarter finals of World Cup 1990 Panic in tunnel in Mecca, 1,426 pilgrims trampled to death 1994 Sonia O Sullivan runs female 2k world record (5:25.36) 1997 US space probe Pathfinder lands on Mars 2005 IRA issues statement ending it's armed campaign
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