ARE YOU Terrified
OF Moving On?
M
oving on after loss can seem impossible when it’s happening to you.
Whether you are moving through a divorce, or grieving your partner passing, the process is different for everyone. You do have to allow yourself time to grieve, otherwise all you do is put it behind a brick wall, and at some point that brick wall is going to come down. If you are stuck in the grief holding pattern, and the idea of moving on is still incredibly daunting, let’s look at some ways to help make the steps to moving on a little easier.
MOVING ON AFTER DIVORCE The first step in recovering from a divorce is to give yourself permission to take the time that you need to heal. During this time, you may also want to consider speaking with a counsellor or joining a support group - divorce is a lonely experience, but that doesn’t mean that you need to go through it alone!
of who initiated the split, it’s important to recognise the futility of blame. If you find yourself consumed by bitter thoughts – or grief, if you were the one left – you must recognise that it is happening. Some people find putting everything they’re feeling and experiencing into writing can be helpful. For others, just talking it through with close friends is enough. Otherwise, it’s best to turn to a professional. An experienced therapist can give you coping tactics and help you find a path forward if you’re deeply hurt and unable to move on with your life. Accept what you can and cannot control. There are always going to be things out of your control, and any attempt on your part to change that will inevitably result in further frustration and unhappiness. Many initiators of late-life divorce are taken aback by the sudden animosity of their former in-laws, or other extended family.
Let blame and bitterness go. Regardless
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