You were a child. You loved to watch a show called “Mister Ed,” a situation comedy running on the CBS television network from 1961 to 1966. “Mister Ed” told the story of an architect named Wilbur Post; his talking horse, Mr. Ed; and Wilbur’s wife, Carol. In that order. You loved Mr. Ed. He was funny. He was sassy. He was sneaky. What kid wouldn’t want to own a talking horse who could surf at Waikiki, fly cargo planes, phone in racing tips to the Pimlico Racetrack, play baseball with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and speak English with a French accent while wearing a beret? Now you are an adult. You have questions. You recall Mr. Ed’s first-ever words in Episode One. Wilbur stands in Mr. Ed’s stable. Dewy-eyed and nostalgic, Wilbur yearns for his lost childhood. The sadness is palpable. 8
"I remember when I was a boy,” Wilbur says, wistfully. “I remember when I was a pony,” the horse replies, and Wilbur’s world is forever transformed. Putting aside the inconvenient truth that ponies do not grow up to be horses, you recognize Wilbur’s longing for pre-adolescence. You question whether Wilbur is emotionally ready for an adult relationship with a woman. There is an elephant in the room, or if you like, a horse in the stable: The Marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Wilbur Post and a horse named “Ed” request the pleasure of your attention to a three-way union fraught with issues, to a marriage with enough dysfunction to fuel decades of couple's therapy. Or in this case, interspecies throuple’s therapy.
What must it be like for Carol? She is a newlywed. She has married an older man and starts a life with him in the San Fernando Valley. There is a barn in the backyard of her new house. There is a horse in the stable. The horse talks to her husband. They finish each other’s sentences and exchange meaningful glances. Every night, Wilbur comes to bed stinking of horse, his heart still beating in that stable, his fingers still thrilling to the touch of a soft silky mane.
Years later — after the inevitable divorce — Carol looks back on the early Sixties. She remembers it all. The Cuban Missile Crisis. The Bay of Pigs. The Gulf of Tonkin Resolution. How Wilbur whispered the name of another woman in his sleep and Wilbur told her it was the name of a female horse that Mr. Ed wanted him to buy for the barn. How Wilbur bought her a hi-fi set for their anniversary, and because she was insulted by the unromantic nature of the gift, she went home to her 9
