Lowly limericks In our discussion of poetry forms, we should not neglect the lowly limerick. The first thing you should do is get the man from Nantucket out of your head - the limerick need not be obscene. We are all cultured folks here. Sometimes a poem can come from real life experiences: A fussy young gourmand named Barrett Requested a dish of roast ferret. Then complained to the cook, But the cook replied “Look, Your choice, you can eat it or wear it.” NOTE: I could have used “roast parrot,” I suppose, but then the SPCA and the Audubon Society would both be after me. The actual dish was roast beef, but that would screw up the rhyme. My first “second” job was as a
bartender at the Carlton House, which no longer exists, but was for a time located near the ore docks, together with the attached bowling alley. To this venue came Irene, a chef with an impeccable resume: she had cooked at both the Kozy Cafe and Jerry Lee’s Diner - also both gone now, but both with reputations for hearty fare, reasonable prices, and hearty, if occasionally unreasonable clientele. Irene was a Runyonesque, tough talking old broad with the proverbial heart of gold. All the employees fell in love with her, but she was clearly a lady you did not want to cross. A lady diner, who was both a regular customer and a regular malcontent, made the mistake of going to Irene’s kitchen to make her complaint. Needless to say, she chose discretion over the fashion
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choice, and returned to her booth to finish her roast beef sandwich. Oddly enough, she kept coming back to eat, too, but if she had another complaint she kept it to herself. Other subjects may be taken from the headlines. The tardigrades, a little animal also known as a water bear or a moss piglet, is composed of about 1300 species, among them are carnivores and herbivores, both terrestrial and marine. They are practically indestructible, and they survive in every known habitat:
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to those required for the clown from the Mary Tyler Moore show: “A little smile, a little dance, a little seltzer down the pants”. We will some day be able to judge just how tenacious they are, since the Israelis crashed a vehicle on the moon that contained thousands of the little buggers. In short, practically anything can serve as subject matter for a poem. Personally, I like to pick on the Saudis, who are one of our very best friends, not only supplying the majority of 9/11 terrorists, but since then amusing themselves by chopping up newsmen:
In nature’s harsh survival race, The tardigrade must take first place. It does not thrive, But can survive Conditions found in outer space.
A wealthy young Arab from Saudi Downed a hard fruit punch and got rowdy. He said, with a moan, “Leave the cider alone And stick with the Apple-pan Dowdy.”
Tardigrades were brought to near Earth orbit and performed pretty well. They basically just curl up and dry out until conditions improve. And for a tardigrade, good conditions are similar
If memory serves me right, this was an Arab Prince who wrecked a hotel room, and then used the excuse that he didn’t know apple cider contained alcohol, which is strictly forbidden by
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64 November 12, 2020 DuluthReader.com
