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Behavior
Constructive Criticism
Criticism doesn't mean you are no good. It means, "You are good, but I believe you can be even better." To criticize does not necessarily imply "to find fault", but the word is often taken to mean the simple expression of an objection against a disapproval. Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't. - Eleanor Roosevelt What do you fear in your everyday life? One common answer would probably be to be criticized. To stand there and hear those words streaming out of someone's mouth and feel stupid or feel rejected or like you are getting smaller and smaller. For every action we do get positive and as well as negative feedback, because it is a part of life if you want to live your life your way.When dealing with others, it is all too easy to find fault, to criticize and
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to condemn. How often do criticisms lead to actual change and improvement? Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, we find that people don't criticize themselves for anything, despite how wrong they might be.Criticism is futile, because it puts a person on the defensive and causes him to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person's pride and arouses resentment. Criticism is vain, because in judging others, we regard ourselves as more righteous than they. Remember criticism doesn't always come gently from someone legitimately trying to help. A lot of the feedback we receive is
unsolicited and doesn't come from teachers.We can't control what other people will say to us, whether they will approve or form opinions and share them. But we can control how we internalize it, respond to it, and learn from it, and when we release it and move on.Many of the world's most successful business leaders were criticized - even laughed at -when they first introduced their ideas. Instead of believing the naysayers, they used that criticism as motivation to succeed. The best way to let criticism drive you is to be open to hearing it in the first place. Successful leaders know how to identify valid criticism and adapt accordingly.
They use it to help them succeed. professionals can provide more thorough Judging others is part of human nature. Our analysis in many cases. It usually applies to eyes are set in our head in such a way that we work a person does, or to an individual's can look at others, better than at ourselves. Yet behavior. People respond to the method we all have faults of our own. As humans, we differently based on their own experiences, are also aware that no one is perfect, including preferences and psychology, but a good, wellourselves. Prophet Jesus (pbuh) once said, "Let timed delivery can make a person more he who is without sin cast the first stone." Do receptive to the message. you think you are perfect? Of course not! So Easier to criticize rather than improve if you want to reach your potential, look for Once upon a time there was a young painter constructive criticism. When someone is who had just completed his course under committed to reaching a goal, they will accept disciplehood of a great painter (Master). This incredible doses of nagging, harassments and young artist decided to assess his skills. He insults. When we see the benefits, we actually decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. like criticism. Imagine you left your wallet in He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery. the Grocery Store and someone calls after you: He wanted people's opinion about his caliber "Hey! You forgot your wallet!" Rather than and painting skills. He put his creation at a get defensive at the criticism, you would say, busy street-crossing. And just down below a "Thank you very much. Next time I will be board which read, "Gentlemen, I have painted more careful." this piece. Since I am new to this profession Criticism doesn't mean you are no good. It I might have committed some mistakes in my means, "You are good, but I believe you can strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you be even better." To criticize does not necessarily see a mistake." imply "to find fault", but the word is often While he came back in the evening to collect taken to mean the simple expression of an his painting he was completely shattered to objection against a disapproval. No one is good see that whole canvass was filled with Xs at everything and few people are great at the (crosses) and some people had even written first time they try something. You will always their comments on the painting. have room to improve, no matter what you are Disheartened and broken completely he ran to doing and the best way to grow is to take his master's place and burst into tears. Sobbing constructive criticism from people who have and crying he told his master about what the skills and know-how that you are lacking. happened and showed the pathetic state of his The key, however, is separating the constructive creation which was filled with crosses and from the unconstructive and separating yourself correction remarks. worth from the object of the constructive This young artist was breathing heavily and criticism. Constructive criticism is a master heard him saying, "I am useless and if communication technique intended to identify this is what I have learnt to paint I am not and find solutions to problems in a positive worth becoming a painter. People have rejected way. Anyone can use the strategy, although me completely. I feel like dying." Success Magazine (00)- www.successfoundationpakistan.com
Master smiled and suggested, "My Student, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting." Young disciple couldn't believe it and said, "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough. Don't make false hopes." "Do as I say without questioning it. It will work." Master interrupted him. Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled. "Come with me." master said. They reached the same street-crossing early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read, "Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I am new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it." Master and disciple walked back home. They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched. They say the painting was kept there for a month for no correction came in! It is easier to criticize, but difficult to improve. If you want to help people improve their behavior it is worth investing your effort in learning how to help people change their behaviors, attitudes and skills. Also, always remember not to get carried away or judge yourself by someone else's criticism and feel depressed. Take criticism in your stride; consider that which are genuine and implement those which you think is the best to improve you as a person! Look at yourself before finding fault with others A man feared his wife was not hearing well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called his family doctor to discuss the problem. The doctor told him there is a simple, informal test; which he could perform and give them a better idea about her hearing loss. "Here's what you do," said the doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet and so on until you get a response." That evening, when his wife was in the kitchen, cooking dinner, he was in the drawing room, standing about 40 feet away from her. "Honey, what's for dinner?" He asked in a normal tone. No response! So he moved closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeated "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still there was no response. Next, he moved into the dining room where he was placed about 20 feet from his wife and asked the same question. Still further, he didn't get his awaited response. He now walked up to the kitchen door which was another 10 feet away and asked