RELAX
THINGS NOT TO SAY …to your friend battling to fall pregnant Offering comfort to friends who are struggling with a difficult issue isn’t easy. You know you have to say something because surely something is better than nothing… or is it?
By Nicole Cameron
R
egardless of how much you care, if you’re not in the person’s shoes, or never have been, misplaced advice and comments can be construed as flippant and even hurtful. While love covers over a multitude of sins, here are some no-go areas to stay clear of when it comes to encouraging your friends battling infertility, as shared by those who’ve been on the receiving end…
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“JUST RELAX!”
We all know of someone who knew someone who battled to fall pregnant and then, as soon as they stopped trying/adopted/ got a new job etc…BAM! Naturally we want the same thing to happen to our friends, and it’s therefore tempting to encourage them to take their focus off falling pregnant. The problem is, explains Samantha*, 31,
when someone says you should just relax, you hear: It’s your own fault this is happening, and completely under your control. “Plus, if there is a physiological reason why you are not conceiving – which there most often is – it makes you feel worlds apart from the person; they are giving you casual advice about something you spend so much time thinking about.” Samantha says that much research points to the fact