So I have returned after a lengthy prolonged absence, an absence almost as long as the title of this artirant* but not quite. There have been reasons a plenty for this forced sabbatical, which I shall spare you from, however it feels good to be back to quint. Unfortunately my last two months have been professionally demanding and hectic, more in the vein of producing content than consuming content. Therefore I am slightly bereft of a temporally relevant rant worthy of my return. That is not to say that I have nothing to rant about, but this will be more a rant across generalities than one with a specific subject matter. As I mentioned earlier I haven’t had the chance to watch many films in the last two months, which has been more than frustrating, but I have offset this by plying myself with a large dose of gigs, however I do not intend to step on Mo’s giant appendages. I did however make one trip to the BFI where I watched Nicholas Ray’s fantastic and dark In a Lonely Place starring the irrepressible man’s man Humphrey Bogart. It got me thinking about growing up in Dubai and how it was virtually impossible to access a cinematic education. The multitude of multiplexes that punctuate the city play the latest Hollywood, Bollywood, and Arabic films, but foreign films and classic films are relegated to their sparse annual appearance at the Dubai International Film Festival. Sitting at the BFI (British Film Institute) on a Sunday night watching Humphrey Bogart on the big screen had an ethereal quality, but in all honesty it was just really cool. The hall illuminated by the black and white chiaroscuro of Ray’s fantastic aesthetic was laced with a heady combination of nostalgia and freshness. The nostalgia definitely lingered around the elderly members of the audience, while some of the younger audience members were basking in the freshness of the experience. It did provide a refreshing change from Fast and the Furious 10 (unless there are more). Additionally, nothing sets a good impression on a date than a classic black and white film; it speaks volumes of how cultured you are. Well at least, that was the thought process of some of the young men entertaining young ladies in the audience. As for the cinephiles in the audience, it was a chance to experience classic cinema the way it was intended in the cinema - and not in high definition or on a DVD. Call me dated and old fashioned, but I still enjoy the physical experience associated with going to the cinema (mind out of the gutter please, thanks!). This is why I think Dubai would benefit from having the powers that be dedicating one cinema hall in each multiplex to classic films. The benefits are quite obvious so this is where I will end the article. I bid thee adieu. Till next month. But, just in case the benefits are not as plain as the day is opposite to night, then allow me to highlight them. Some like it Hot. Cultural sensitivity is a tenuous and valid concern; hence the inconsistent dribble of foreign films due to their risqué nature and controversial subject matter, most of the time. However with Classic Hollywood fears can be allayed because Classic Hollywood was even more puritanical in their value system. No screen kiss could last more than five seconds and if you notice the open mouth kiss (the way the French intended it, vive la France) enjoyed no screen time till the 60s. There was never any nudity - not that anyone would like to see Edward G Robinson in all his glory. Quite simply there would be unprecedented access without any restrictions due to cultural sensitivity.
The Graduate. The aforementioned lack of cultural literacy amongst the majority of the population in Dubai cannot be chalked down to the lack of interest or the interest to consume content but a distinct lack of access. Critics of Dubai can argue that the majority of the population in Dubai are expatriates and hail from countries that enjoy a certain level of cinematic diversity, so there is no valid reason why there is this dearth of eclectic cinematic content. To them I say that is a different discussion for a different magazine (which one? Je ne sais). Moving on, people in general can only spend their weekend being
assaulted by the latest Michael Bay, or another reminder why no one should ever stay in a European Hostel. Which (he murmurs through clenched teeth and types with clenched fists, hence the delay in submission) is fine, but I strongly believe that people that have not had the privilege to experience Gone with the Wind or Lang’s Metropolis in the cinema should be given the opportunity to do so. Fritz Lang’s 1927 masterpiece would be a thought provoking and appropriate film to play in Dubai for numerous reasons. There are a lot of parallels and themes in that seminal film that could provoke dialogue or, lord forbid, thought. On a more functional level it highlights the early mastery and experimentation of cinematic craft and technique, which can do nothing but inspire budding film talent. If you want to avoid controversy and antagonizing the local authorities altogether then why not screen a Chaplin or Keaton retrospective? There is no difference between an animated cat falling over and Charlie Chaplin falling, children are all sadistic when it comes to the misfortune of others. They do not discriminate they just want to see someone get hurt.
What’s that? What motivation would cinema owners and distributors have from screening old films? Translation: How would they financially benefit? Cinematic reference translation: Show me the Money. I can’t hear you, say it again: SHOW ME THE MONEY! There is no need to yell, I can hear you adequately. Unfortunately, I was in the midst of applying the finishing touches to a comprehensive CBA (Cost Benefit Analysis) for cinema vendors in Dubai, it had pie charts, bar graphs and something called statistics as well, but then power went out and I lost it all so here is the censored or culturally appropriate version: Cinema 8 + one Week of Gone with The Wind + quint’s free promotion/publicity = more money than a sub-par Steven Segal film. If anyone tells me that one week of playing a classic Hollywood film does not generate as much money as a Steven Segal film being shown in Cinema 8 then we as a society and a generation have a much bigger problem. I refuse to believe that there is not a group of people out there who would not enjoy watching Lawrence of Arabia or Spartacus on the big screen. I know for a fact that there is a willing population out there who are starved for some classic Hollywood goodness. How do I know this? Four letters... and they’re not the four letters that you are anticipating... wait for it… DIFF. Having been a regular at DIFF over the years I know there is a willing, cinematically literate audience out there who would jump at the opportunity to be given some respite from the mindless drivel that Hollywood is churning out. YES IT IS DRIVEL! My belief is unwavering to the point that I am sure that if any cinema in the Dubai was willing to give us at quint one of their medium sized or smallest cinemas, and quint was allowed to run retrospectives, we would be able to guarantee a good turnout. Cinema Vendors hear my call, if you are afraid that the financial benefits do not outweigh the costs then you wouldn’t even have to play the film for a week. Play it for a weekend or a few shows. The benefits to the community of Dubai, society, the budding film industry as well as increasing Dubai’s status as a cultural hub are immeasurable. No harm can come of this, and you would be giving Dubai the gift of the Golden Age of Cinema. Why limit it to Hollywood Classics? I am sure there would be a huge turnout for Classic Arabic films and Classic Bollywood films. Actually if you were to play the Bollywood Epic Sholay for a week in one of your cinemas you would make enough money to fund retrospectives. Though there is no money being lost here because you will be playing current Hollywood films simultaneously. I am not asking you to stop playing current Hollywood films altogether, that I will ask of you another time, all I am asking for is variety, variety that Dubai’s cinematically starved and unaware are desperately crying out for, even if they are unaware of it at this moment in time. *Prank moody is prone to making up words.