QNotes Nov. 11-25, 2011 by QnotesCarolinas

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Nov. 12-25, 2011. Vol 26, No 14. FREE.

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Ready, set, shop! Gift giving ideas for all! Gift Guide 2011

o ho ho. Merry Christmas. Happy Kwanzaa. Jubilant Hanukkah celebrations, to you. Yes, it’s that time of year when all the world’s focus turns to the merry winter holiday season. qnotes has teamed up with White Rabbit to provide you with an assortment of affordable and unique gift giving ideas from their Charlotte store (920 Central Ave.) and from around the web. The gift list ideas range from the geeky to the cool and rom the kid to the grown and sexy man. But, don’t take our suggestions as the end-all, be-all. Use them as inspiration to get your holiday gift list ideas flowing! For kids and teens :: You might not have kids of your own, but most of us inevitably find ourselves shopping for children at some point in the holidays. Whether it’s a niece, nephew or cousin, you can find just the right gift for that little someone. Does the tike still love their fluffy buddies? How about a teddy bear in their favorite color (WR: $4.99 each)? Can’t pick just one color? Get them a rainbow beanie teddy (WR: $6.99 each). Does your little one like music? Maybe they like frogs? A two-in-one: Get them this colorful musical frog! Let them ribbit and croak all day long (WR: $10 and up). You remember those slap bracelets from back in the day, right? Lots of schools banned them, but they are back with a twist. One of the most popular gifts this year has been the SlapWatch. The teen on your gift list will love one of these trendy, colorful accessories (WR: $21.99 and up). Power up :: One of the side effects of accumulating different types of electronic devices is ending up with separate chargers for each device. Keeping track of all these chargers can be difficult both at home and on the road. A helpful gift for any gadget lover is a mobile power pack that’s compatible with many different types of devices. For example, the Rayovac rechargeable power pack has micro USB, mini USB and Apple device plug-ins that cover most recharging needs (Prices vary store-to-store, available at Walmart and other retail outlets). Or if you know the recipient has a bunch of battery-operated devices, consider

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North Carolina can make history, says new Equality NC director Stuart Campbell chats about his advocacy past, opportunities and challenges he sees in forthcoming anti-amendment campaign roll out by Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Stuart Campbell was chosen the new Equality North Carolina executive director on Oct. 12.

RALEIGH — The name Ian Palmquist was nearly synonymous with North Carolina’s movement for LGBT equality in the decade he worked for the statewide LGBT advocacy and education group Equality North Carolina. His departure in July came right as a Republican-controlled legislature was poised to consider an anti-LGBT constitutional amendment banning recognition of marriage, civil unions and domestic partner benefits for same-sex couples. Now, after three months of steady and careful stewardship under Interim Executive Director Alex Miller, Equality North Carolina has new, permanent leadership in place. On Oct. 12, the group announced that it had chosen Texas antipoverty advocate Stuart Campbell as its new chief officer. Campbell officially started work on Oct. 24, a month after the North Carolina General Assembly approved the amendment’s placement on the May 2012 primary ballot. Campbell spoke with qnotes three days after his first day in the office — his first interview with North Carolina press. Fresh on the job and living in an apartment in Raleigh until he can fully move his partner and belongings from Austin, Texas,

Campbell said he’d received a warm and embracing welcome. “The staff here is terrific and the board of directors has been very welcoming,” Campbell said. “People really couldn’t have been nicer and more welcoming. It’s great to meet so many volunteers coming through the office.” Life shaped by justice, politics Born in Fairfax, Va., Campbell’s early life was shaped by his father’s career. He lived in four different countries as a child, following his father in his career with the U.S. Foreign Service. “I had an opportunity be exposed to a lot of difference cultures,” Campbell said. “It really shaped my outlook on life.” When his father retired, the family settled down in California. There, Campbell volunteered for local political campaigns. He continued stoking his interest for public affairs while attending George Washington University. th “It’s quite an interesting school,” Campbell said. “Being in the heart of D.C. it’s a very politicized university. Very big on politics — even the elections for student body president and vice president. It almost seemed like a lot of people were doing

25 anniversary 1986-2011

see Director 9 Nov.on12-25 . 2011

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

inside Nov. 12-25, 2011 Vol 26 No 14

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news & features

1 New ENC director opens up 6 News Notes: Regional Briefs

twitter.com/qnotescarolinas facebook.com/qnotescarolinas Sign up for our weekly email newsletter at goqnotes.com.

contributors this issue ARAContent, Robbi Cohn, Matt Comer, Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Leslie Robinson, David Stout, Trinity

opinions & views 4 4 4 5

Editor’s Note General Gayety QPoll T-Notes

a&e / life&style 1 11 11 11 13 15 16 17 19

Annual Gift Guide Thrifty gift ideas Choosing the right tablet Shop local Holiday etiquette 101 Audiophile Tell Trinity Out in the Stars Q events calendar

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Anti-gay state senator dies :: James Forrester’s legacy leaves anti-gay measures pending before voters. goqnotes.com/13109/.

Material in qnotes is copyrighted by Pride Publishing & Typesetting © 2011 and may not be reproduced in any manner without written consent of the editor or publisher. Advertisers assume full responsibility — and therefore, all liability — for securing reprint permission for copyrighted text, photographs and illustrations or trademarks published in their ads. The sexual orientation of advertisers, photographers, writers, cartoonists we publish is neither inferred nor implied. The appearance of names or photographs does not indicate the subject’s sexual orientation. qnotes nor its publisher assumes liability for typographical error or omission, beyond offering to run a correction. Official editorial positions are expressed in staff editorials and editorial notations and are determined by editorial staff. The opinions of contributing writers and guest columnists do not necessarily represent the opinions of qnotes or its staff. qnotes accepts unsolicited editorial, but cannot take responsibility for its return. Editor reserves the right to accept and reject material as well as edit for clarity, brevity.

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

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by matt comer matt@goqnotes.com

Understanding the context: Reaction to Forrester’s death not ‘politics,’ it’s personal

Tar Heels across the state reacted in myriad ways to state Sen. James Forrester’s death in October (See story online at goqnotes. com/13109/). For LGBT families and their children, news of Forrester’s passing came as a relief. Many said as much, as did I. “Good riddance, bigot,” I noted on Twitter, and for good reason. Yet, such plain, legitimate emotion can rub people the wrong way. “Saddened to see some nasty Twitter reactions to Forrester’s death,” tweeted WRAL capital reporter Laura Leslie. “Some things are bigger than politics, folks. Like respect.” Respect? Really? After nearly two decades of continued abuse from this man, LGBT North Carolinians should take time to pause in reverence? Despite my usual tendencies to stick with good southern traditions of courtesy and civility, on this social more I must take a definite pass. In the hours and days immediately following Forrester’s death, I couldn’t help but notice all of the unearned respect being thrown toward this man’s hate-filled legacy. My mind raced in bewilderment. Gov. Bev Perdue ordered that all state flags at all state facilities be lowered to halfmast the day of Forrester’s interment. Honor the bigot, forget the people he harmed. Openly gay Gaston County Democratic Party Chairman Robert Kellogg said he was “thankful” for Forrester’s service on behalf of the state and Gaston County. That is, unless you’re gay. No service for you; only discrimination. Democratic Sens. Martin Nesbitt and Bill Purcell said Forrester “brought a necessary level of expertise to Senate deliberations on health care matters.” Oh, yes, let’s forget that time, not too soon before his demise, that Forrester insisted on standing by his medically inaccurate claim that gays and lesbians had shorter life spans than heterosexuals. Charlotte’s daily newspaper even jumped on the memorial train, providing space for readers and the public to offer written condolences. Too bad for the people who felt the brunt of Forrester’s bigoted wrath; you’re equally valid comments and remembrances weren’t welcome. “But, Matt,” you plead, “don’t you have any respect for Forrester’s family? What about

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

condolences for their loss?” A valid point, I’ll concede. It’s always a sad and emotional moment when a loved one passes. No one, not even me, wishes to diminish the pain of death and sense of loss that comes with it. But, when that loved one is also a longtime public servant who has time and time again used his power and privilege to cause harm and damage to other people, someone must take on the responsibility of reminding others of the true legacy of that person. Someone must stand up against the tide of the memorializing media and public gloss-over and speak truth. It is important for people to understand the context of these negative — or, depending on perspective, positive — reactions to Forrester’s death. It’s easy to claim such emotional statements are made out of political gain. To the contrary, reaction to Forrester’s death isn’t about politics. It’s never been about politics for all of the LGBT Tar Heels forced to defend themselves against Forrester’s agenda. For us, it is personal. A dead Forrester means one less voice of hatred occupying a seat in the North Carolina General Assembly — one less person with the power to strip us of our dignity and citizenship. James Forrester was a man dedicated — to death — to one singular cause. Year after year, he stopped at nothing to strip LGBT North Carolinians of their rights as full and equal citizens of this great state. Harsh as it might sound, that is the honest truth laid bare. In times of death and grief, it’s human nature to pause and reflect upon the positive contributions of a person’s life. But we cannot, simply for the sake of propriety, forget the other side of Forrester — that hate-filled, bigoted side that painted LGBT people as sick, sex-crazed monsters from which North Carolina’s people and children needed protection. No amount of praise or condolence-writing can erase the harmful misdeeds of a man hell-bent on stomping gay people back into that dank, dark closet from which he prayed we had never left. “Perhaps he was a good man in his time but that time has long gone,” said one commenter on WRAL’s website. That’s about all the condolence I think I can give. : :

VIEWS

editor’s note

general gayety by leslie robinson qnotes contributor

Certain sapphic addictions

My partner and I are both going through withdrawal. It ain’t pretty. We’re not addicted to drugs, alcohol, porn, sex, love, cigarettes, texting or gambling. I’ll bet you a case of gin we’re not. No, our addictions have a lesbian flair. Anne is mad for the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival, while I’m obsessed with women’s professional basketball. I realize the WNBA players and fans are far from strictly lesbian, but I say we keep that a secret. From May to October, I’m either glued to my seat in Key Arena to watch the Seattle Storm or I’m glued to the television to gaze upon other teams. I prefer watching the Storm, of course, but my addiction is real and if I don’t watch some women’s hoop every few days, my hands get clammy. The Storm, league champions last year, lost in the first round of the playoffs this season. Naturally, I was distraught. But a true fan — addict — must continue, so I watched the rest of the playoffs and the finals, where some damn team that wasn’t the Storm beat some other damn team that wasn’t the Storm. Now, it’s approximately 15 days, four hours and 38 minutes from the last game of the season, and wow, is it clear that I’m in the grip of basketball withdrawal. I blurt out “Go Storm!” at unpredictable intervals. I set up my Storm-player bobbleheads in a zone defense. I draw the WNBA trophy in my oatmeal. I miss the athletic exploits, like when a guard weaves around four defenders to get to the basket, or when I weave around 10 kids to get to the bathroom. I miss the competition, the drama, the socializing. Good God, I even miss the security line. Somebody needs a 12step program, quick. Relief is not far off. Women’s college basketball begins soon. While that will satisfy

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my hoop hunger, I have one problem with the college game: The players keep getting remarkably younger. As I drift along in my dismal state, Anne is looking pretty pitiful, too. Normally, she blocks out the 10 days of the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival on her calendar. She agrees to go to work and feed herself, but everything else comes second to the movies. If my appendix were to rupture, she’d rush me to the hospital — immediately after the conclusion of the documentary on Maori gay youth. Obviously Anne loves movies, but the 10-day hit of just LGBT movies is an ultimate high for her. The organizers of the film festival are her dealers. Bet they never thought of themselves that way before. This year various forces made grueling demands on Anne’s time, and at this writing, eight days into the festival, she has seen just one movie. The result? Anne comes home, hands the dog her “ticket” and demands buttered popcorn for dinner. She’s planning her attack on the remaining films. At this moment Anne is cloistered with the festival guide; she’s speaking to it as lovingly as she would to me. She aims to see as many films as she can over these last two days. It’s time to mainline. If she starts mixing her drugs — running back and forth between the lesbian shorts and a transgender musical — then I’ll start to worry. I plan to accompany her today and tomorrow. I’m the designated driver, in case she goes blind from staring at too many screens. But, if one of the movies turns out to be about women’s basketball, neither one of us will be in a fit state to drive. : : info:

LesRobinson@aol.com . generalgayety.com

Do you believe it is appropriate to openly discuss the harm caused by a deceased person or leader? Is it disrespectful for harmed communities to speak honestly about their experiences with the deceased? See the options and vote: goqnotes.com/to/qpoll

VIEWS

t-notes by robbi cohn qnotes contributor

Trans Day of Remembrance

Damn. I hate writing this particular column. Each year I hope this will be the year I can write that trans homicides have subsided, that trans violence has taken a downturn and that we no longer need to gauge progress through the measurement of death and beatings. Sadly, that is again not the case in 2011. The first Trans Day of Remembrance (TDOR) was held in 1999, commemorating the 1998 slaying of Rita Hester. Gwen Smith organized the first memorial event and it’s been a sad, but necessary tradition for the last 13 years. As stated on the TDOR website, “The Transgender Day of Remembrance serves several purposes. It raises public awareness of hate crimes against transgender people, an action that current media doesn’t perform. Day of Remembrance publicly mourns and honors the lives of our brothers and sisters who might otherwise be forgotten. Through the vigil, we express love and respect for our people in the face of national indifference and hatred. Day of Remembrance reminds nontransgender people that we are their sons, daughters, parents, friends and lovers. Day of Remembrance gives our allies a chance to step forward with us and stand in vigil, memorializing those of us who’ve died by antitransgender violence.” Regardless of the venue — domestic or international — the results for this year show that not only are the figures not improving, but in some places it has become far more dangerous to be trans than ever before. From the end of 2010 through January of 2011, no less than six trans women were slain in Honduras, precipitating world outrage and a response from Human Rights Watch. One woman was apparently both set on fire and stoned. In February, a Malaysian trans woman was found dead after having been beaten with an iron hammer. And, the shooting of a Brazilian trans woman had been caught on surveillance cameras. She had been shot seven times, execution style. In other countries, there were killings in Mexico, Indonesia, Puerto Rico and Mauritius. We can have no idea as to the real extent, internationally, of transphobia which has turned deadly. In countries with little understanding of trans issues, news of this kind is too often buried along with the victims.

Perhaps the cruelest incident on the international stage occurred in Turkey. This was not the only instance wherein Turkish transphobes were unable to control themselves, but this was by far the most heinous. A trans woman was killed by her family in what has been called an honor killing. According to the report in the Hurriyet Daily News, the victim’s brother, Fevzi Cetin, turned himself into local law enforcement. “My brother was engaged in travestism. I killed him,” Cetin, 27, told police. “I cleansed my honor.” This is obviously unconscionable and unacceptable behavior. We need an international consensus to stop this kind of hatred and its consequences. Here in the U.S., cities across the country have seen brutal and vicious attacks as well. New York was bad, but Washington, D.C., was the absolute worst, with an incident involving metro police. But first, some of the other cities and their incidents: Minneapolis’ first homicide of the year was trans woman Krissy Bates and, in Baltimore, Md., Tyra Trent was strangled to death. As Spring approached, Marcal Camero Tye’s life was cut short after being shot and then dragged several hundred feet. June brought the shooting death of Nathan Eugene Davis, from Houston, and the summer of 2011 found both Camila Guzman and Rodrigo Ruzman stabbed to death in New York City. In October, in two separate incidents, two Savannah, Ga., trans women were fatally shot. And, clear across the country in Hayward, Calif., Lucie Parkin was stabbed to death. But, our nation’s capital proved to be the most dangerous place to be this past summer, especially if you were a trans woman of color. Starting in July and continuing for most of the summer, the violence perpetrated against trans persons ran rampant. Lashai McClean was shot and killed on July 20. In September, Gaurav Gopolan was found beaten and unconscious and subsequently died. Sandwiched in between these two murders were copious incidents of violence, which included the shooting of a trans individual by an off-duty police officer. Another occasion found a trans woman had been shot in the neck.

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

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BRIEFS

news notes: from the carolinas, nation and world compiled by Lainey Millen :: lainey@goqnotes.com | David Stout :: david@goqnotes.com | Matt Comer :: matt@goqnotes.com

Charlotte Mancini accepting grant apps

CHARLOTTE — The Wesley Mancini Foundation is accepting applications until Nov. 15 for the grant period of Jan. 1, 2012 through Dec. 31, 2012. Only federally-tax exempt organizations or those with tax-qualified sponsors will be considered. Grants are awarded to fund specific projects and are not awarded to cover general operating expenses. The Foundation changed its grant application requirements. Beginning in 2011, it will pick an annual theme, a theme the LGBT community has a current need to address. Only grant applications addressing the year’s theme will be considered. This year’s focus will be directed at raising the profile of the LGBT community during the Democratic National Convention to be held Sept. 3-6, 2012. Applicants must also partner with at least one non-LGBT organization to achieve the project’s aims. Interested parties who wish to receive a grant application should contact Bob Scheer at 704-335-5404, ext. 402, or by email to bscheer@wesleymancini.com. — L.M.

Guild on hunt for board spots

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild is seeking interested people to serve on its 2012 board of directors. President Frances Richter commented that being on the board for her has “opened doors, opportunities and valuable contacts” and some of those she has met have become great friends as well. Non-members can apply for membership and then be considered for the board. Richter added that 2012 was going to be a whirlwind year with the Democratic National Convention on the radar for fall. Organizers have already contacted the Guild. Although non-partisan in mission, the Guild may benefit from this association and exposure. Deadline for submission is Nov. 30. All candidates will be vetted by the board’s nomination committee to determine the best fit. Once selected, the names will be turned over to the board who will cast their vote. Notification will be made prior to membership approval at the December meeting. For more information or to submit a name, email businessguild@yahoo.com or visit charlottebusinessguild.org. — L.M.

Center starts food drive, men’s group

CHARLOTTE — The LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, in partnership with Essence of a Stud, is sponsoring its first food drive to support Second Harvest Food Bank through Dec. 12. Canned goods may be dropped off at the center at 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11, TuesdayThursday, 5-8 p.m., Friday and Saturday 10 a.m.-1 p.m. Essence of a Stud is a network that links women together for support, education,

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Trans remembrance vigils slated STATEWIDE — The Transgender Day of Remembrance will be held on Nov. 20 across the globe. The annual celebration allows the community to pay respects to those who have lost their lives to bigotry and hatred. It was spearheaded by Gwen Smith and is in its 13th year. In North Carolina, a number of candlelight vigils have been organized to address this horrific situation. In Raleigh at the State Capitol Building,1 E. Edenton St., the community will assemble from 5:30-7 p.m. Following will be a gathering of light refreshments and snacks at the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 411 Hillsborough St. The center’s Transgender Initiative, the Human Rights Campaign and Equality North Carolina will serve as co-sponsors. Down the road in Durham, participants will meet for the Night of Expression at Fullsteam Brewery, 726 Rigsbee Ave., from 6-10 p.m. Names will be read during the evening followed by a performances by Awakening C.H.A.N.G.E., Sam Peterson and Humble Tripe. Food will be provided by the city’s famous food trucks. A $5 contribution is suggested, with proceeds going to the center’s Transgender Initiative. In Charlotte, community members will gather at the LGBT Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11 at 6:30 p.m. Opening prayer will be delivered by Bishop Tonyia Rawls, Unity Fellowship Church of Charlotte. Local religious, professional and political leaders will be there to offer remarks, followed by a names reading. Afterward a reception will be held at the center. Heading over to the mountains, in Asheville Just Us For All and motivation and more. Its members are lesbian, bisexual, femme or studd of all ages. On Nov. 22, a men’s group will hold its first monthly meeting at the center. Offering Affirming, Safe, Inclusive Space (O.A.S.I.S) is open to all gay, bisexual and questioning men and offers its participants a safe, confidential place to share stories and obtain support. Its facilitator is Randy Johnson. He can be reached at rjohnsondmd@gmail.com. For more information, call 704-333-0144 or visit gaycharlotte.com. — L.M.

Western Tucker resigns

HICKORY — AIDS Leadership Foothillsarea Alliance (ALFA) has announced that its current executive director, Rodney Tucker, will be leaving at the end of November after a two-year stint at the helm of the organization. During his tenure, ALFA transitioned toward providing a new medical model, said Bill Morgan, president. “We will miss him, but we will continue in his legacy by providing superior HIV/AIDS services in our region,” he added. ALFA is now conducting a national search for a replacement. In the meantime, monetary contributions, food pantry donations, volunteerism, client adoption for the holidays and testing will continue to be on the top of ALFA’s needs. In other news, ALFA will hold its 14th Annual Winter Gala on Dec. 4, 6 p.m., at Youssef 242, 242 11th Ave., NE. The Mitchell Gold and Bob Williams Legacy Award will be presented to community supporter Sue Millholland during the event. A four-course meal will be served with wine pairings, along with pre-dinner cocktails and holiday music. Cost is $100 per seat minimum contribution.

the University of North Carolina at Asheville Alliance will join together with the community at Thomas Wolfe Auditorium in the Asheville Civic Center, 87 Haywood St., and will march to the Vance Monument where names will be read and some of their personal stories shared. Sam Soper, Just Us For All president, says that “Asheville has one of the largest and most visible transgender and gender-queer populations in the Southeast per capita.” He also shared that the annual event helps to bring the issue of transgender deaths to the forefront. Transgender Murder Monitoring has calculated a total of 681 cases of reported killings of transgender people from Jan. 1, 2008 to Sept. 25, 2011. Names, ages, location, cause of death, circumstances of the killing and any follow-up have been plotted on a map, Soper continued. The majority of deaths have occurred in North and South America. According to Soper, the Remembering Our Dead Project’s Gwendolyn Ann Smith shared that the media was reluctant to cover transgender deaths, adding that finding honest, reliable media is difficult. In fact, Smith said that she felt it either does not exist…or it uses names that the deceased did not own and pronouns that did not fit their reality.” For more information, visit transgenderdor.org, gender.org/remember/about.core.html, transrespect-transphobia.org/en_US/ home.htm, lgbtcenterofraleigh.com, gaycharlotte.org or facebook. com/pages/Just-Us-For-All/127528920626106?sk. — L.M.

RSVP is due by Nov. 28 via email to alfadev@ alfainfo.org or by calling 828-322-1447, ext. 223. For updates or more information, visit alfainfo.org. — L.M.

Triangle Trans events scheduled

DURHAM/RALEIGH — Originally slated to be a one-time event on the Transgender Day of Remembrance observance on Nov. 20 at Fullstream Brewery, 726 Rigsbee Ave. in Durham, a number of transgender community members have now decided to get together on a regular basis to exchange clothing. “I thought this was a good idea for a number of reasons,” said Paige Sullivan, one of the coordinators. She added that the Great Recession can have a significant effect on the transgender community even harder than most groups, considering statistics say that even in good times, transgender people are adversely unemployed and/or underemployed. She remembers how expensive it was, and still is, to replace her wardrobe when she made her transition. “I’ve also heard of stories of discrimination of transgender people being denied equal access or experiencing harassment when attempting to use gender-appropriate dressing rooms — even in major retailers. “Furthermore, when you’re used to buying clothing for one gender for so long, it can be very confusing trying to figure sizing for the other gender — especially considering the differences in the way male and female bodies are shaped,” she explained. The exchange aims to solve all three issues by providing a safe environment for transgender or gender variant people to experiment with clothing and/or supplement their existing wardrobes. The exchange would

not be possible without the support of the community. In addition to donations of clothing, shoes and accessories for both genders in all sizes — they could also use volunteers to collect and store the clothes, help wash and sort them and run the exchanges. At press time, the LGBT Center of Raleigh, 411 Hillsborough St., has been designated as a drop off location and a spot is being sought for Durham and outlying Triangle areas as well. They will hold events throughout the year and in different parts of the Triangle in order to distribute the clothing that they collect. Interested parties are encouraged to become a drop-off point or serve as a host exchange location. Email clothing@triangletrans.com to volunteer. To learn more, visit clothing.triangle trans.com. In addition to the clothing exchange, a Trans-Giving Dinner will be held at the center on Nov. 24 from 5:30-9 p.m. The center will supply the turkey and drinks for this potluck event. All trans-identified people and allies are invited to attend. RSVP to rchapin@ lgbtcenterofraleigh.com to reserve a place, as well as signing up for a dish. — L.M.

National Vet group sues for gay families

BOSTON, Mass. — Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) has filed a landmark federal lawsuit against U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta, and Secretary of Veterans Affairs Eric Shinseki, on behalf of current and former service members seeking equal recognition, benefits and family support for equal sacrifice and service in the U.S. Armed Forces. The plaintiffs, each legally married, want the armed services to recognize their families and seek the same family support and

benefits for their same-sex spouses that the services and Department of Veterans Affairs provide to opposite-sex spouses. The case challenges the constitutionality of the so-called Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), as well as provisions in Title 10, Title 32, and Title 38 of U.S. Code, which preclude the military from providing same-sex married couples with the same benefits and family support as their straight, married peers. — D.S.

Study finds wide trans support

WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to a new survey, overwhelming majorities of Americans across the political and religious spectrum believe that transgender people should have the same general rights and legal protections as other people. The August and September Religion and Politics Tracking Surveys from the Public Religion Research Institute constitute one of the first independent studies of attitudes on transgender issues and Americans’ knowledge of transgender identity. Approximately 9-in-10 Americans — including strong majorities of all religious and partisan groups — agree that transgender people deserve the same rights and protections as other Americans. Seventy-four percent of respondents also favor the recent expansion of hate crimes legislation to protect transgender people, while roughly two-thirds report being well informed about transgender people and issues, and generally understand what the term “transgender” means. — D.S.

Online effort against school assault

CHILLICOTHE, Ohio — Following the oncampus assault of a gay 15-year-old student caught on cell phone video, more than 4,000 people have joined a campaign on Change. org calling upon the Union-Scioto School District to pass an anti-bullying policy that includes sexual orientation and gender identity. Bret Thompson launched the effort after the brutal assault, which no one stepped in to stop, resulted in just a three-day suspension for the attacker. The Union-Scioto School District has adopted anti-harassment policies that include sex, race, color, national origin, religion, and disability, but have not specifically moved to protect against harassment or bullying based on sexual orientation or gender identity. The campaign is also seeking the expulsion of the attacker, while Rebecca Collins, the victim’s mother, told reporters she wants criminal charges pressed against him — including federal hate crime charges. — D.S.

Global U.K. threatens African aid

LONDON, England — A threat from the British government that aid might be cut to African countries that persecute and prosecute LGBT people has met with opposition from some gay leaders in both the U.K. and in the countries targeted by the warning. British gay rights activist Peter Tatchell said, “Many [Africans] are dependent on aid for basic needs like food, clean water, health care and education. Instead of cutting aid, Britain and other donor countries should divert their aid money from human rights abusing governments and redirect it to grassroots, community-based humanitarian projects that respect human rights and do not discriminate in their service provision.” A collective statement from African LGBT social justice activists noted, in part, “An effective response to the violations of the rights of LBGTI people has to be more nuanced than the mere imposition of donor sanctions. The history of colonialism and sexuality cannot be overlooked when seeking solutions to this issue. The colonial legacy of the British Empire in the form of laws that criminalize same-sex sex continues to serve as the legal foundation for the persecution of LGBTI people throughout the Commonwealth. In seeking solutions to the multi-faceted violations facing LGBTI people across Africa, old approaches and ways of engaging our continent have to be stopped. New ways of engaging that have the protection of human rights at their core have to recognize the importance of consulting the affected.” — D.S.

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

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Ask Dr. C…HIV and healthcare advice

Helping to keep you in the know with up-to-date information by Frederick Cruickshank ~ Medical Director

After many successful installments of “Ask Dr. C,” this is yet another opportunity to offer our readers information about HIV from basic questions to in-depth explanations. We are still receiving many of your questions and are working hard to get responses to as many questions as possible to provide information for you and the community. The questions have provided us a forum to debunk myths and remove stigma from those living with HIV and AIDS. It is important to educate yourself, get tested, and protect yourself! We appreciate every question we receive! Dr. C looks forward to responding to as many emails as possible. I have sex regularly, but do not always use a condom. How effective is a condom in preventing me from getting HIV? — Daniel from Charlotte

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

Daniel, it is extremely important to protect yourself everytime you engage in sexual activity. Condoms are proven to be highly effective in the prevention of not only HIV, but also effective in the prevention of STDs. Also, condoms are usually available for free at a clinic in your neighborhood or the local health department. You can also come visit us here at Rosedale if you need condoms. It is important to keep an open dialogue with your sexual partners and talk about the importance of using protection. If a partner is resistant to using a condom, you should explain the risks involved. You can go to the website for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention at cdc.gov to get facts about sexually transmitted diseases and tips on how to talk to your partners about prevention. It’s important to be aware of the long-term effects of risky sexual behavior. It only takes one sexual encounter to transmit HIV from one partner to another. I am planning on getting my first tattoo in the coming months and have heard some pretty horrifying messages about the risk involved. Is it true that I can get HIV from the process of getting a tattoo? — Courtney from Gastonia Courtney, I am glad you are concerned and taking precautions needed to protect

your health. There is a risk involved if the tattoo parlor you are visiting does not take the necessary measures to sterilize and disinfect equipment between tattoo customers. Because the equipment is used to penetrate the skin, there is a risk of spreading blood-borne pathogens including HIV and Hepatitis B. I suggest you visit the tattoo parlor you are interested in to observe the environment in which you will receive your tattoo. Also, talk to the staff at the location you are interested in and ask them specifically what precautions they take between customers to prevent the spread of disease. Then, once you feel comfortable and confident with a tattoo business’s practices, you will know you took the precautions necessary. Enjoy your new tattoo! My brother is currently fighting drug addiction. I worry about the risk of him contracting a disease through injecting drugs. What should I do? — Ruben from Charlotte Ruben, it is always difficult to know what to do when someone close to you is dealing with addiction. By your wanting to help, you have already started to provide support for your brother. The risk of him contracting a bloodborne disease including HIV and Hepatitis is very high. Sharing needles in recreational drug

use is one of the main routes of HIV transmission next to sexual activity. This happens when blood from one user enters the bloodstream of the user who is sharing the needles. It is important to talk to your brother about the risk involved with this process. Overcoming addiction is a lifelong process. It is also important to stress the importance of using clean needles to you brother. Many communities have needle exchange programs where drug users can exchange their old needles for new ones in order to reduce risk of disease. Also, there are many addiction support groups available. If you research these in your community, you will be able to provide the most support possible for your brother. Always remember that this is an advice column based on your questions and the best possible knowledge out there. We need your questions to help educate the community, so email them to info@rosedaleid.com and be sure to include a first name and location. All respondents will remain anonymous. We will try to do our best to answer, educate and inform from your responses to this column. Don’t forget to visit our website at rosedaleid.com and friend us on Facebook for community and clinical updates. — Sponsored Content —

Director sees challenges continued from page 9

campaigns in training.” As an undergraduate, Campbell was involved with the campus’ College Democrats and Lesbian and Gay Alliance. “It’s where, I guess you could say, I cut my teeth on the LGBT political world,” he said. Campbell stayed in the nation’s capital after his graduation. He worked as a lobbyist for a disability rights organization and other groups, eventually landing a gig as executive director of the anti-poverty Coalition on Human Needs. Campbell’s work on homelessness, anti-poverty and social justice issues was inspired by his childhood in nations where poverty and social injustice were sometimes the norm, he said. “I’ve always had a strong streak personally of being an advocate of folks who are less fortunate than I,” he said. While in D.C., Campbell also became active in local and national LGBT politics. He founded a social group for gay men and lesbians in their 20s and served as the youth representative on the then-named Human Rights Campaign Fund board of directors. But after nearly 15 years of inside-the-beltway politicking, Campbell said he grew weary. “The folks in charge of the political institutions — the White House, Congresss — were not very supportive of the issues I cared about,” he recounted. “Quite frankly, I was a little burned out. I had spent the last almost 15 years of my life advocating on behalf of vulnerable populations and as time went by it became increasingly more difficult to address those needs on a national level.” Time for a change Campbell and his partner decided it was time for a change. In 2003, they moved to Austin, Texas. Though he remained active in the LGBT community and took up a position on the Equality Texas Board of Directors,

Campbell took what he says was a muchneeded break from regular public policy work. He ironed out a living as a real estate broker up until the economic collapse in 2008. As it became harder to make a living, his partner pushed him to find new work. Campbell soon found himself working with the Texas Department of Housing and Community Affairs. “I was fortunate that the Texas Department of Housing had a position open that was really up my alley — a position dealing with issues I’d long been interested in,” Campbell said. “It was a great opportunity for me to work on anti-poverty issues at a different level.” Campbell says his time working for Texas went by smoothly. Like any state employee, his work with Texas state representatives and senators was limited to an advisory role. Political battles were rare, if non-existent. Nonetheless, Campbell says, Texas was a very conservative place. “It doesn’t look like that’s going to be changing, at least in the next several years,” Campbell said jokingly. North Carolina’s opportunities, challenges Campbell’s move to North Carolina has provided him with a glance at a southern community unlike any other. He says he’s been astonished at the level of progressive coalition-building around issues of equality and sexuality. The upcoming ballot initiative on the state’s anti-LGBT amendment will differ greatly from the one he and other Equality Texas board members faced in 2005. “I think there are some very clear differences between the campaign in 2005 [in Texas] and the one we’re facing now,” Campbell asserted. “One, it’s six years later and across the country we’re seeing poll after

see Campbell on 18

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

LIFE

Thrifty and thoughtful holiday gift ideas for a tight economic time Gift Guide 2011

Worried about gift-giving this year? Don’t stress. With a dash of creativity and a sprinkle of detail, it’s easy to whip up the perfect present with the right personal touch, says Emmy award-winning chef and cookbook author, Giada De Laurentiis. “I love to add a homemade element, whether it’s a freshly baked dessert or custom wrapping, because it makes the gift that much more unique and personal,” De Laurentiis says. “I also find that pairing a present with a favorite bottle of wine adds a delicious and elegant touch.” Whether you’re trying to find the perfect gift for an outdoorsy friend or the host of a holiday gathering, De Laurentiis shares her customized gift ideas that make it easier than ever to give a perfectly personal (and price conscious) present: For the movie fan :: As the granddaughter of famed film producer Dino De Laurentiis, Giada knows just what a movie aficionado wants. She suggests choosing a colorful popcorn bowl and adding a bag of gourmet popcorn kernels, an herb-infused olive oil, a favorite light-bodied white wine like Pinot Grigio, and a classic movie on DVD. “Giving the gift of a movie night is the perfect touch for cinema enthusiasts,” De Laurentiis says. “Plus, the infused olive oil gives the popcorn a special gourmet flair without breaking the bank.” For the travel enthusiast :: A travel-themed gift basket

is a great match for any jetsetter, and De Laurentiis enjoys spicing this one up with a little Italian flare. In a canvas tote bag, pop in a popular travel book, a portable clock, a pocket translator and a batch of your favorite biscotti. “I sprinkle green and red sugar crystals on top of my holiday biscotti for a festive garnish,” De Laurentiis says. “Also, this kind of Italian cookie pairs nicely with a crisp, fruity Italian wine

like Bella Sera Moscato.” For the epicurean :: A cookbook is a classic choice to give your favorite foodie, so why not spruce it up Giada-style? “I like to include a finished product of one of the recipes so the recipient can get a flavor of what’s inside,” she says. Pair those with a favorite bottle of wine —”You can’t go wrong with a smooth Bella Sera Pinot Noir,” De Laurentiis says — and place everything in a decorative wicker basket with a colorful ribbon, and your epicurean gift is cooked to perfection.

For the outdoor adventurist :: A portable butane camping stove is a must-have for every outdoor enthusiast. Accompany it with cooking utensils, a sturdy skillet, a batch of homemade Italian flat bread and a versatile red wine like Merlot, and you’ve created the ultimate camping cookout gift. “A cooking kit is perfect for your ourdoorsy friends or relatives because it contains practical items they can use for many of their excursions,” De Laurentiis says. When it comes to baking flat bread, De Laurentiis suggests brushing the dough with extra-virgin olive oil to get a crispy, shiny crust. For the romantic :: Whether you’re gifting a hopelessly romantic friend or a newlywed couple, De Laurentiis suggests giving the gift of love with a stylish container full of freshly baked chocolate desserts. Along with it, she adds a pair of wine glasses and a bottle of dry, lightbodied red wine, such as Chianti. “With a delicious dessert and the zesty touch of Chianti, this gift idea is the perfect combination of sweet and spicy romance,” De Laurentiis says. For the holiday gathering host/hostess :: A bottle of wine is always a thoughtful hostess gift and appreciated at holiday gettogethers. “Bella Sera wines pair wonderfully with a variety of foods, so bring bottles of both red and white to a holiday party,” De Laurentiis suggests. “That way everyone can choose their favorite and truly get in the holiday spirit.” : : — ARAContent

Which tablet is right for you? Gift Guide 2011

If you’re still not sure what you want from your tablet, Staples has thousands of certified EasyTech associates in more than 1,500 U.S. stores and online tools such as Staples.com/tablets to help you research, compare and choose the right tablet. Additionally, you might try getting advice from experts at a local Apple Store, Best Buy or any other office or computer retail outlet.

Tablets are among the hottest tech gadgets on the market today and with loads of multimedia functionality and on-the-go portability, many of us are looking to tablets to complement our laptop or desktop PCs. Purchasing a tablet computer can be a confusing process, however, given how many have flooded the market this year. In addition to the iPad, new powerful tablets have launched including the Motorola XOOM, BlackBerry Playbook, Samsung Galaxy Tab, Dell Streak, Acer Iconia A500 and HP TouchPad. With such a large selection of tablets out there, how do you know which one is right for your specific needs and wants? To help you find the right tablet to fit your needs, Staples has developed a few categories to help customers hone in on the right tablet for their lifestyle. Before purchasing a tablet, it’s important to answer the following question, “I want my tablet to … .” Keep me connected… to friends, family

members and work buddies as well as my favorite go-to news, celebrity gossip and social networking sites while I am on the go. You should zero in on a tablet with a small size for greater portability and multi-tasking computing power so you can stay connected to multiple applications at once. Entertain… and house my favorite movies, games and music. Look for a tablet that supports HD video, greater computing power and a substantial internal storage and/or USBsupported external storage. This will ensure your entertainment looks great and you never have to worry about running out of storage for your favorite movies, music or games. Help manage… my 9-to-5 or (9-to-whenever) workload like reading and reviewing documents, spreadsheets and presentations and email. You will want a tablet with the computing power, user interface and productivity apps that facilitate the completion of your work on the go. Additionally, verify the tablet’s battery life is sufficient to ensure you can power through your to do-list without worrying about running out of power before you run out of action items. : : — ARAContent

Shop local, save $25 Small businesses across the country will be getting a little financial aid on Saturday, Nov. 26, courtesy American Express. The credit giant is encouraging its cardholders to visit and shop at small businesses on what they are dubbing Small Business Saturday. Cardholders who visit a registered small business retailer will receive a $25 statement credit on purchases of $25 or more. That little extra incentive might just prove the traffic and sales booster small businesses need heading into this year’s holiday shopping season. Hundreds of businesses in Charlotte are already registered, including Plaza Midwood’s White Rabbit, Central Coffee Co., One Love Smoke Shop, Plaza Muse, Mik Wright, Todd’s Flowers and many, many more. Want to learn more and see which businesses in your area are participating? Scan the QR Code with your smart phone or visit facebook.com/shopsmall/. : :

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

Gift ideas abound for the holiday season continued from page 1

giving him a battery charger and rechargeable batteries. Get in tune :: Mobile devices have changed the way we listen to music and you’re sure to have someone on your list who can’t go anywhere without their iPod. Consider a gift card to iTunes or Amazon’s digital music store or a portable device with speakers that will connect to their digital music player. Keeping it simple :: Sometimes a simple “hello” and “how are you?” is all that’s needed during the holiday season. If you’re on an especially tight budget this year (the economy obviously hasn’t gotten that “get well soon” card we all sent it a while ago), then consider sending simple messages of love and cheer with holiday cards to your loved ones (WR: Starting at $11.50 for packs of 10). Active devices :: Now more than ever, digital devices are small and durable enough take with you just about anywhere, even on a run or a bike ride. If the person you’re buying for leads an active lifestyle, consider the many different types of bands, clips and mounts available that will allow your recipient to easily bring her phone or music player with her on her workout. For active children, the Light Strike laser tag game offers digital action for an affordable price and is an especially attractive option if you’re buying for siblings who like to play (About $40, available in a variety of retail outlets). For the movie buff :: Shopping for some-

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

one who loves TV and film? Most movie-minded folks are well-aware of the blockbusters. Some are even bored by the usual Hollywood mess. Why not hunt down a unique, indie film. Some of the best movies come with small budgets (WR: $7.99 and up). If you’re not quite sure what movie to give them, considering gifting a year-long subscription to a digital streaming service such as Netflix or Hulu Plus, which will provide access to more films and shows than you could ever imagine. This can be a great gift for families too, as they’ll all be able to enjoy

what this type of service has to offer. If you purchase something like this, you may also want to throw in an HDMI cable that will allow your recipient to connect the family computer to their TV, if they don’t already have one. Hey sexy! :: Want to make your man feel all hot? White Rabbit has a wide assortment of unique underwear from a variety of popular brands including Ginch Gonch, 2(x)ist, Andrew christian, Papi, Junk and more (WR: $15 and up). : : — Compiled by qnotes staff with contributions from ARAContent

LIFE

Impress your guests with holiday etiquette 101 Greensboro’s Replacements, Ltd., etiquette expert shares tips

You’ve spent the entire day in the kitchen cooking the perfect holiday meal. But it’s an hour before your guests arrive and you find yourself standing in front of the table listening to that little nagging voice inside your head. Do the water glasses go to the right or left? What side does the knife go on? Should you go ahead and put food on the table before guests arrive or wait until everyone gets there? “We hear from so many

panicked people this time of year looking for a crash course in how to set the table and proper manners,” says etiquette coach Jill Slatter. “Most of us are stretched so thin juggling work, school and home that we don’t have time to sit down together for a proper meal except at the holidays and then the pressure is on to be perfect.” Slatter is the etiquette expert for Greensboro’s Replacements, Ltd., billed as the world’s largest re-

Forks go to the left of the dinner plate (left). Always place liquids to the right of the dinner plate (right)

Meeting Date: Program:

Time: Cost: To Reserve:

tailer of old and new china, silver, crystal and collectibles. Based on their most frequently asked questions, Slatter shares a holiday etiquette 101 crash course that’s sure to help you impress your guests. Set the perfect table Forks to the left, knives and spoons to the right. The sharp side of the knife blade should be turned toward the dinner plate. Only include utensils in your place setting that will be used for the courses you are serving. “If you’re not serving soup or salad, you certainly don’t want an extra spoon or fork in your place setting,” Slatter says. “Not only will those get in the way and create extra work for you, the extra utensils may confuse your guests.” The bread plate goes on the left of the dinner plate, glasses on the right. Wait to pour. Water glasses should be the only glasses filled before your guests arrive. Iced tea, wine and other beverages should be poured once everyone is seated. Wine glasses should be filled halfway, not to the rim. Salad and bread should be the only food on the table when your guests arrive. Are you the hostess with the mostest?

see Holiday on 14

Tuesday, November 15, 2011 David Lawson, Local FBI Agent Hate Crimes Discussion LGBT Community Center of Charlotte 820 Hamilton St. Cash Bar Social/Heavy Hors D’oeuvres @ 5:30 pm Program starts @ 6:45 pm $20 Call 704.565.5075 or email businessguild@yahoo.com for more information or pay online via PayPal at www.charlottebusinessguild.org

www.charlottebusinessguild.org Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

Holiday etiquette 101 impresses guests

T-Notes

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Remember, the hostess always sits last. Passing isn’t just in football. Always pass food around the table counter clockwise to the right and refrain from serving yourself first. Always pass the salt and pepper as a set, even if you’re only asked for one. Can your guests see each other? Sure those flowers you spent hours arranging for the centerpiece are pretty, but they will only get in the way if your guests have to crane their necks to see each other. Make sure your guests can look over any table adornments. Be a gracious guest “There is nothing more disruptive than a cell phone ringing at the dinner table,” says Slatter. “Turn your phone on vibrate, or better yet, don’t even bring it to the table. Holiday gatherings mark the time to enjoy the company of the people you are with, rather than ignore them by chatting with someone who’s not even there.” Wait for the signal. Your hosts will let you know when it’s okay to begin eating. They may offer a blessing or statement or perhaps start by passing a dish. If you’re not sure which utensil to use with each course, start

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

on the outside and work in toward the dinner plate. If you need to excuse yourself temporarily, gently place your napkin on your chair to indicate you will be coming back. Signify you’re finished with the meal by placing your napkin to the left of the dinner plate and your fork and knife side by side diagonally across your plate with the sharp side of the knife blade facing inward and the fork tines up. “Another big question we hear concerns what to do if you accidently break a piece of the host’s dinnerware,” adds Slatter. “You should certainly offer to replace the broken piece, especially if it has sentimental value for the host or hostess.” Slatter says don’t lose hope if your host doesn’t know the name of the pattern or the manufacturer; you can always take advantage of Replacements’ free pattern identification service. If you’re still in doubt about holiday etiquette 101, help is just a mouse click away. You can watch more of Slatter’s tips on Replacements’ YouTube channel. You can also find cheat sheets of place setting guides diagramming how to set the table for various meals at the company’s website, replacements.com. Bon appetit! : : — ARAContent

Trans advocates in the D.C. area were up in arms. The city has made some efforts to remedy the precarious situation as it exists for trans persons, but only time will tell if it really is any safer. Many communities across the nation have passed gender-inclusive legislation, but we haven’t seen any kind of marked diminishment of violence to date. Even as I finalized this column, I heard about an attack on a trans woman in the Mission district in San Francisco. On Nov. 20, every year, we remember those whose lives were needlessly wasted. For all those across the globe who will not get to see 2012 arrive, for Krissy, Tyra, Camero, Camila. Rodrigo, Lucie, Lashai, Gaurav and all the others who lost their lives this year, let’s make an effort, nationally and internationally, to make this the year trans hatred starts to decline. Each and every one of these individuals had a gift to offer the world. That gift has been lost and there is no excuse or justification. : : — Comments and corrections can be sent to editor@goqnotes.com. To contact Robbi Cohn, email robbi_cohn108@yahoo.com.

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audiophile by david stout david@goqnotes.com

Madonna â&#x20AC;&#x153;Bowlâ&#x20AC;?ing for a hit

Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s official: The Material Girl is the halftime performer for Super Bowl XLVI. Madonna has declined the high-profile Super Bowl gig in the past, but now thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no way sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s anything but delighted by the opportunity since she gets to unveil the first single from her forthcoming 12th studio album on the nationâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s most-watched TV program. And letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s face it, at 53, gone are the days when the superstarâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s latest release was guaranteed a rapturous response from radio and record-buyers based on name alone. At this point in her career, she can definitely use the promo. For her first public performance of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Give Me All Your Love,â&#x20AC;? Madge will be joined

onstage by the two artists featured on the studio version of the track, Nicki Minaj (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Super Bassâ&#x20AC;?) and MIA (â&#x20AC;&#x153;Paper Planesâ&#x20AC;?). Little is known about the song or the remainder of the new album aside from the fact it is said to be â&#x20AC;&#x153;dance pop.â&#x20AC;? Hopefully that means something more

like the material from her classic â&#x20AC;&#x2122;80s releases or 2005â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s fab â&#x20AC;&#x153;Confessions On A Dancefloorâ&#x20AC;? than her lackluster last album, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hard Candy. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s reason for optimism: Like â&#x20AC;&#x153;Confessions, which was produced by popular British DJ/remixer Stuart Price, Madonnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s as-yet untitled new album (set for release next spring) is being overseen by producers with legit club cred: French House phenom Martin Solveig, Italian Electro guru Benny Benassi and Madonnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own â&#x20AC;&#x153;Ray Of Lightâ&#x20AC;? collaborator, William Orbit. Super Bowl XLVI will take place Feb. 5 in Indianapolis. The game will be broadcast live on NBC. Another Rihanna hit â&#x20AC;&#x153;Foundâ&#x20AC;? One current pop diva who is nipping at Madonnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s designer heels is Rihanna. In the first week of this month the flame-haired singer notched her 11th #1 on the Billboard Hot 100, becoming just the seventh artist in the 53-year history of the chart to score that

many. Ri-Riâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s track, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We Found Loveâ&#x20AC;? featuring Calvin Harris â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the lead single from her new album â&#x20AC;&#x153;Talk That Talkâ&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D; took over pole position in its sixth week, breaking her out of a tie with Janet Jackson and Stevie Wonder, who each have 10 #1s, and placing her in a tie with Whitney Houston. Rihanna is now just one chart-topper away from tying Madonnaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s career total of 12. Of course, Madgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s tally could also increase with the release of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Give Me All Your Loveâ&#x20AC;? and the subsequent singles from the new album. On the other hand, judging by past Rihanna releases there very well could be multiple #1s on â&#x20AC;&#x153;Talk That Talkâ&#x20AC;? to keep pace. This is definitely going to be an interesting battle for chart watchers.Hereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s the current ranking of the acts with the most #1s on the Hot 100: The Beatles (20); Mariah Carey (18); Michael Jackson (13); Madonna, the Supremes (tie, 12); Whitney Houston, Rihanna (tie, 11); Janet Jackson, Stevie Wonder (tie, 10). : : info: audiophile@goqnotes.com

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

A&E

tell trinity by trinity qnotes contributor

Chat rooms, gay bars and coffee shops, oh my!

Hey Trinity, Many issues back you answered a letter about a guy who wanted to meet dates without going to LGBT bars, chat rooms or other meeting places. You told him, “He can’t!” and should rethink his attitude on these places. Well, I think your advice was crappy! I would’ve told him to ditch these places and keep his eyes peeled. Trying To Help, Madison, WI Hey Trying To Help, I agree! I should’ve also suggested he start a group or join a social, athletic, intellectual or religious group. Sorry! However, I disagree that by “keeping his eyes peeled” he’ll find dates. Pumpkin, it’s simply not enough! If he wants to meet potential dates, then he’s got to work with the limitations that exist, not avoid them! If you only have one social outlet and you hate this social outlet then learn to love it or starve. And, while some would starve, I say live, rethink your limitations and join the parade, don’t hide from it! Hello Trinity, I know your career has been full and getting fuller all the time,

but aren’t you afraid that if you get really famous you’ll become a pretentious star? Money-Fame-Fears, Eugene, OR

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

Hello Fears, While being poor, hungry and out of work is one path toward appreciating life, having a little money, fame and a few diamonds doesn’t have to ruin any of us 99 percenters. (Check out my cartoon to learn how I manage all of this!)

Dearest Trinity, After dating the same woman for three years, I recently found out that she cheated on me. I love her and don’t want to lose her, but what about my integrity and my pride. She doesn’t know I know. What should I do? Cheated & Silent, Philadelphia, PA Dearest Cheated, In my definition cheating is, “When the one you love, loves someone else and acts upon it, continuously, in your face.” This leaves you no choice but to: a) send him to Siberia, b) start couples counseling, c) take her and yourself on a far away vacation or d) say bye-bye! Although, if he or she is not cheating, but rather “screwed around” which I define as, “when the one you love gets laid and does or doesn’t tell you” well then that’s human error or instinct, leaving you no choice but to do: a through d (see above) or e) accept that the one you love has faults, put the gun down and start talking about it! Honey, while infidelity destroys many relationships, it also has the potential for making some relationships even stronger!

Dear Trinity, Nobody wants to wake one day and find out that they maybe are totally obsessed and even stalking someone. How can I deal with my obsession before it really gets me into trouble? Obsessed, Quebec City, QC Dear Obsessed, Unfortunately, life is such that we just wake up and one day we’ve gone too far. It happens to me with dark chocolate. So, sweetie, start sipping mint teas and read: Trinity’s Lifesaving Tips For Stopping Yourself From Being A Stalker 1. Buy a body pillow, blow up doll and/or start getting massages! 2. Get a good therapist, a devoted friend or support from a “functional” family member. 3. Attend Sex and Love Addicts anonymous meetings (check your local papers). 4. Ask your doctor if there are any antidepressants for this problem. 5. Throw away all of the stalkee’s letters, pictures and undergarments you may have kept when you were dating! 6. Throw away all of the stalkee’s information from your wallet, cellphone and email list. 7. Don’t spend too much time alone wondering, “What if I saw him just once more?” 8. Before you go hiding in the bushes near her house, call someone and talk about it! 9. Leave town and go on a fabulous vacation! 10. Lastly, date, socialize and go to parties or bars. But, get out (of your head)! : : — With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity was host of “Spiritually Speaking,” a weekly radio drama, and now performs globally. info: www.telltrinity.com . Trinity@telltrinity.com Sponsored by: Provincetown Business Guild 800-637-8696 . www.ptown.org

A&E

out in the stars by charlene lichtenstein qnotes contributor

November 12 - 25

Aggressive Mars careens into Virgo while Mercury retrogrades in Sagittarius, setting off an eventual square aspect. Welcome a whirlwind of possibilities…and some false messages. Can you control your thoughts and actions? Before you crash into an off limits area, use some common sense to create a buffer zone. SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Watch your wallet; You’re a sucker for a sob story. Queer Scorpios can’t seem to spend it fast enough with friends’ encouragement. Remember that money rarely buys happiness. Cheap thrills and assorted romps, perhaps, but not happiness. It would be wise to pace yourself and your bank account for when the real thing comes along. SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Did someone light a fire in your career? The fates give you incredible insights into the motives of others and the opportunity to make things happen. Gay Archers can use the time to strengthen their corporate positioning. But, avoid letting your emotions carry you away. Your enthusiasm might scare off someone who does not know you well. Oh, well. CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Pink Caps are pushy and courageous which is exhilarating, but will also increase your personal risk. Look before you leap. Plan carefully. Examine every action before you charge ahead. There may be a huge pothole that upends your graceful stride. Big game hunters would love to have a stuffed goat head hanging over their mantel. Let’s see who gets stuffed first! AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) Aqueerians are raring to jump into the middle of all the action and feel full of vim, vigor and oomph. Not a bad combination! Where will all this wild activity take you? Be careful of being led down a primrose path in love, but remember to be optimistic and keep your sunnyside up. Sometimes enthusiasm alone makes a lousy idea seem like a slice of genius. PISCES (02.20-03.20) Harness the power of your relationships — whether for business or pleasure. One in particular proves pivotal. If your workplace environment is not quite right, you may feel the need to make “improvements.” If so, plan a careful course of action rather than rush into battle with your flank exposed. Sometimes, exposed flanks are alluring. This time it is BBQ. ARIES (03.21-04.20) Planning an especially exotic vacation or launching a great gay global enterprise? Better check your itinerary twice or even three times to be sure that you have every detail correct. And, even then, be prepared for surprises. Gay Rams can mine the outer limits of their potential if they carefully attend to all the tiny details. The sky is the limit. Watch out for low ceilings. TAURUS (04.21-05.21) Queer Bulls are sexy hot and can send out vibes that will hit their target. How many targets do you need? Learn to be discerning and choosy or the fates will choose for you. You may experience a burst of creativity and a yearning to lead the herd as you run with all the other bulls. You become the life of the party. The question is which party. GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Relationships and the many ways that they can confound, overjoy and stress you take center stage. You want what you want and the harder you push, the harder partners push back. Avoid ultimatums. Maintain your cool with wile and guile rather than bile. With a little sage advice, even Geminis can cook. Do I smell something hot and delicious? CANCER (06.22-07.23) Gay Crabs can make a strong personal statement now, but be sure that your statement is for a specific purpose and not just for getting attention. This is especially true on the job where your antics have a shorter shelf life. New approaches devised from creative thinking can have

great long-term impact. So, put your mind to work and concentrate on the bigger picture. No, bigger! LEO (07.24-08.23) It’s not what you say, but how you say it. Proud Lions are naturally eloquent. Now, you can easily score points in any argument. Make the moment count. Get the proud word out even if you have to rampage a few political china shops to make the point. Rampage in fun surroundings. The velvet ropes open for you and you can party with the hounds. Howl at the moon. VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Queer Virgins want to put more energy into personal projects, but long-term family issues beckon. How much time can you afford to devote to others? My advice is to placate relatives and don’t draw any lines in the sand. The sand is shifting and tomorrow could be an entirely different landscape. Let’s hope that it is on the ocean and not in the desert. LIBRA (09.24-10.23) There are so many things happening behind the scenes that your life may accelerate into a frenzied overdrive. Proud Libras are elected “Most Likely To Do or Say Anything,” but you can turn this into your advantage if you keep a cool head and careful tongue. Why not tempt fate and shake a few new ideas off your tree. Some are nuts, but some are flowers. : : © 2011 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit www.TheStarryEye.com for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

Campbell says North Carolina can make history continued from page 9

poll showing there is a shift among American people on how they feel about the gay community, about gays and lesbians serving in the military, gay marriage and civil unions.” Campbell also believes North Carolina’s political climate offers his group a chance to defeat the amendment. “I think there is a very real chance we have to actually win this fight. The landscape in Texas was much more conservative and we didn’t have the broad coalition that I’ve already seen coming to the table here in North Carolina,” Campbell observed. “Business leaders, civil rights leaders, faith leaders and communities of color — they are all coming and joining us and reaching out to us.” At the same time, Campbell is open to facing challenges where he sees them. Foremost on his list of obstacles is education. “There is a lot of misinformation about what this amendment does or doesn’t do,” he said. “A lot of people think it will create gay marriage and some people think it will

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011

stop only gay marriage. In reality, it does so much more.” Legal scholars, including some legislators and professors Maxine Eichner and Holning Lau of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill School of Law, have repeatedly warned about the potential, unintended consequences of the anti-LGBT amendment. They have argued its broad, untested language would ban domestic partner benefits for public employees and could impact child custody and visitation, wills, trusts and domestic violence laws. “I think it is important not only for our community but the community as a whole in North Carolina to realize the extent of harm this amendment could do if it is not defeated on May 8,” Campbell said. Anti-amendment campaign to roll out Frustrations have mounted across the state in the apparent lack of a statewide and

unified campaign organization and message. Campbell and Equality North Carolina Communications Director Jen Jones are assuring supporters that plans are actively being made. “A lot is happening,” Campbell stressed. “I’ve already been very involved with a lot of different folks talking about the organization and messaging and the resources we’re going to need from state and national partners.” He added, “I can certainly understand the frustration, but we wanted to make sure that when we rolled out the campaign that we did it right and that it was not something thrown together haphazardly or quickly. This is a major fight, but it is winnable and we want to make sure it is done the right way.” The most time-consuming component of the nascent anti-amendment campaign has been working to gain the support and cooperation of allied groups and leaders. “That coalition building takes a little bit of time,” Jones cautioned.

For Campbell, the coalition nature of the campaign will be the key to defeating the anti-LGBT amendment. North Carolina’s progressive, fair-minded political atmosphere will pay off. “North Carolina has a strong progressive streak running through it and I don’t think it was a coincidence that it was the last southern state that didn’t have a gay marriage amendment in their constitution,” he said. “I have learned very quickly that most people here have tenets of fairness and want to make sure we do the right thing. I think if we are successful in getting the message out about what this amendment will really do, then we will see a lot of folks, even people who are not traditional allies, come out and vote against the amendment on May 8.” Campbell is well aware of the challenges ahead. He’s also hopeful that Tar Heels will live up to their level-headed, forwardthinking reputation. “North Carolina really has an opportunity to make history here,” he said. “Voting against the amendment on May 8 will show the country that North Carolina not only rejects such divisive and discriminatory measures but that they are willing to take the lead in turning the tide toward equality for all the citizens of this state.” : : info: Learn more about Equality North Carolina at equalitync.org and follow our latest news from Raleigh and updates on the anti-LGBT amendment campaign at goqnotes.com/in/ncga/.

events qnotes goqnotes.com/qguide/events

this vibrant, large-scale installation, dancers wrestle with themselves and one another in an exploration of perpetual motion that amplifies our linear perception of time and experience. North Carolina State University, Stewart Theatre, 2610 Cates Ave. 8 p.m. ncsu. edu/centerstage/currentseason/. Nov. 18 • Charlotte Ethan Uslan Cocktail pianist extraordinaire, Ethan Uslan, entertains at Petra’s. Come listen to the jazzy music and have a drink! Uslan will also perform Dec. 2, 9 and 16. Petra’s, 1919 Commonwealth Ave. 8-10 p.m. petraspianobar.com.

arts. entertainment. news. views. Thru Nov. 19 • Charlotte ‘Next Fall’ Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte presents 2010 Best Play Tony Award nominee and 2010 Outer Critics Circle Award winner for Best New American Play, “Next Fall.” The production centers on the relationship between Luke and Adam and the ups and downs of the couple’s five-year relationship. The theater company says the play is “equal parts romance, family drama and a powerful coming-of-age story…a provocative look at faith, family and love.” Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte. Various times. Various prices. 650 E. Stonewall St. 704-342-2251. actorstheatrecharlotte.org.

Nov. 19 • Charlotte Holiday Arts Market Plaza Muse hosts a special holiday art market for their local artists. Stop by for handmade and one-of-a-kind gifts. The shop will hold a second holiday arts market on Dec. 3. Plaza Muse, 1200 Central Ave. Noon-6 p.m. 704-970-9676. plazamuse.com.

Nov. 13 • Charlotte Evening of Hope Rosedale I.D. hosts its second annual Evening of Hope and Inspiration with award-winning Gospel singers The Martins, benefiting Rosedale’s Jeanne White Ginder Food Pantry. McGlohon Theatre, 345 N. College St. 7:30 p.m. Tickets available at CarolinaTix.org.

Nov. 20 • Raleigh Transgender Day of Remembrance A special service memorializing those members of the transgender community lost to violence and hate crimes this year. NC State Capitol, Fayetteville St. and W. Morgan St. 5:30-7:30 p.m. Free. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com.

Nov. 17 • Raleigh Brian Brooks Moving Company Choreographer Brian Brooks fuses “minimalist rigor with flamboyant whimsy” (The New Yorker). Brian’s latest whimsy? Spanning the distance from the back of the stage out to the farthest walls of the theater, over three miles of sky blue cables expand to create a tunnellike space over both audience and performers in the 60-minute dance “Motor.” Within

Nov. 20 • Charlotte Transgender Day of Remembrance A special service memorializing those members of the transgender community lost to violence and hate crimes this year. LGBT Community Center of Charlotte, 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11. 6 p.m. Free. gaycharlotte.com.

Nov. 20 • Durham Transgender Day of Remembrance A special service memorializing those members of the transgender community lost to violence and hate crimes this year. Fullsteam Brewery, 726 Rigsbee Ave. 6-10 p.m. Free. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. Nov. 24 • Raleigh Trans-Giving Dinner The LGBT Center of Raleigh’s Transgender

Initiative hosts a special Thanksgiving potluck dinner. All trans-identified people and allies are welcome. LGBT Center of Raleigh, 411 Hillsborough St. 5:30 p.m. Free. Attendees are asked to bring a side item and RSVP to rchapin@lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. Nov. 25 • Winston-Salem Mr. NC Unlimited 2012 Mr. NC Unlimited 2011 Taylor Knight Addams will be looking to crown the new Mr. NC Unlimited 2012. Featuring Mr. Unlimited 2011 Cielo Whitney and Miss Gay America 2012 Kirby Kolby. Club CO2, 4019 Country Club Rd. 9 p.m.-2 a.m. clubco2online.com. Dec. 1 • Charlotte The Voices Project We all have a story to tell and we hope you will join us on World AIDS Day for The Voices Project — stories from our community. Our hope is to bring our community a little closer together with personal stories from some of our friends and family who are living with HIV and AIDS. Presented by the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN). Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte, 650 E. Stonewall St. 7 p.m. Free. carolinarain.org. Dec. 2-3 • Charlotte Hee Haw Holidays One Voice Chorus presents a festive, homespub holiday concert. Unitarian Universalist Church of Charlotte, 234 N. Sharon Amity Rd. Evening performances on Dec. 2-3, 7:30 p.m. Matinee on Dec. 2, 2 p.m. $20/general. $10/student matinee. onevoicechorus.com. Dec. 3 • Raleigh Women’s STD testing The LGBT Center of Raleigh hoses “Love, Hope, Truth,” an all-women’s HIV/AIDS and STD testing evnet. Food and gifts will be provided. LGBT Center of Raleigh, 411 Hillsborough St. 3-6 p.m. lgbtcenterofraleigh.com. Dec. 9-10 • Charlotte Drummer Boy The Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte performs in their annual holiday extravaganza. St. Martin’s Episcopal Church, 1510 E. 7th St. 8:04 p.m. $20. gmccharlotte.org.

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Nov. 12-25 . 2011

qnotes

Nov. 12-25 . 2011