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Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012





Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



qnotes connect

Sept. 29-Oct. 12, 2012 Vol 27 No 11

arts. entertainment. news. views.

contributors this issue

Paige Braddock, Rosendo Brown, Matt Comer, Kevin Grooms/Miss Della, Charlene Lichtenstein, Lainey Millen, Rob Schofield, David Stout, Trinity, Brett Webb-Mitchell

front page Graphic Design by Lainey Millen

news & features

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News Notes: Regional Briefs Dalton visits Carolina business Fund seeks new stakeholders Citadel center of sexual accusations

a&e / life&style

11 Drag Rag 12 QList 2012 winners 14 On the map 16 20 Questions 18 Out in the Stars 19 Tell Trinity 21 Fabulance 21 Jane’s World 22 Q events calendar

opinions & views   4   4   5  5 10

Editor’s Note Charlotte Checklist Guest Commentary QPoll On Being a Gay Parent

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Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



editor’s note by Matt Comer

The best of the best


In this issue, qnotes profiles our readers’ picks in our 2012 QList, Best of LGBT Carolina. Hundreds in our communities across the state cast their ballots to choose their favorite and best coffee houses, restaurants, nightclubs and bars, community leaders, elected officials, non-profit organizations and more. The results all speak for themselves. Those groups, businesses and individuals chosen in this year’s QList represent some of the most widely praised and most popular across the state. The work they do in providing us tasty treats, fun nighttime outings, important community services and leadership should be cherished. Too often, though, their work goes under-appreciated. As our staff compiled QList vote tallies, we also began to undertake our annual “InFocus” review of community non-profits. The annual review is designed to gauge the financial health, strength and wellbeing of our community’s various LGBT service organizations. They include advocacy organizations, arts groups, an AIDS service organization, youth groups and more. The review annually studies each group’s financial disclosures and other documents, as well as data provided directly from each of the organizations. Our initial assessment, as in years past, is sobering. The majority of organizations serving the LGBT community in Charlotte and across the state operate on unimaginablysmall budgets. When compared to mainstream organizations or those groups whose sole missions are to attack our community at every turn, it becomes clear that our own community groups’ budgets are dangerously small. Many of our community groups have spent years, if not decades, fighting for our civil rights, for our social equality or for general social acceptance. Some do it through music. Others do it through direct political advocacy. Others provide much-needed services to those in need. Whatever the delivery mechanism, all of the groups’ combined efforts make our community stronger. Our loyalty to the groups have not diminished. Such is evident


in the huge numbers of votes organizations received in their competition to be named among the best non-profits in the state and on local levels. But, are we putting our money and our time where our mouths are? Imagine a world without LGBT choruses — without harmony and spirit. Imagine a world without the important services offered by organizations working with those infected and affected by HIV and AIDS. Imagine a world without advocacy groups working day and night to ensure our continued successes toward full legal equality. In such a world, our community would experience life much differently. Honors and awards are great. Everyone loves them. They boost our energy and validate our sense of worth. They push us to keep going the extra mile. Yet, it is only in our community’s collective strength where we will find the backing to push toward a second mile, a third, fourth and more. To go the distance, we must each contribute. North Carolina’s wide array of LGBT community organizations are among the best in the nation. The social and legal progress we’ve made here — even in the face of the passage of Amendment One in May — is breathtaking. We can continue to achieve more and aim higher. Though the economy is still down, I encourage you to give just a little bit more. A $5 bill here or a $20 bill there can make a world of difference. And, if money is an obstacle, volunteer your time and talent. Even simple gestures like short emails with encouraging messages of support or suggestions to make our community groups better can help push us all forward together. As you flip through this issue and land on our list of QList results, I encourage you to think about all the hard work, dedication and many hours people just like you put into the organizations that make our community strong and healthy. Pick one, two, three or more, and give what you can. In that way, we’ll continue much more quickly down our path toward full and equal justice under the law and in the sight of our families, friends and society. : :

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Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

Charlotte Checklist As of this issue’s street date, it’s been 1,027 days since Anthony Foxx became Charlotte’s first Democratic mayor in 22 years, taking the reins of a city council with a decidedly Democratic and pro-LGBT super-majority. Yet, in the time since, only a handful of important issues have been addressed by the Charlotte City Council. At the county level, as well, important concerns of the local LGBT community continue to languish. Starting this issue, qnotes will print our “Charlotte Checklist,” a round-up of the LGBT equality initiatives either accomplished or left on the back burner by local elected officials. A checkmark means the item has been accomplished. An exmark indicates those items yet to be accomplished. Non-discrimination


City council-approved non-discrimination ordinance prohibiting discrimination against city employees on the basis of sexual orientation and gender-identity. Note: Charlotte City Manager Curt Walton approved the addition of sexual orientation to his human resources policy in March 2010, but has yet to add gender identity.

Mecklenburg County Board of Commissioners-approved equal employment opportunity policy prohibiting discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity. Note: Commissioners approved the addition of sexual orientation to the policy on May 17, 2005. Gender identity has never been included. Amendments to the existing Charlotte Commercial Non-Discrimination Ordinance prohibiting businesses contracting with the city from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity.

Domestic partner benefits


Domestic partner benefits available for same-sex partners of city employees. Note: Charlotte City Council included a domestic partner plan in a budget passed on June 25, 2012. Domestic partner benefits available for same-sex partners of county employees. Note: Mecklenburg County Commissioners approved offering domestic partner benefits on Dec. 15, 2009.



Establishment of an LGBT liaison officer(s) within Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department. Establishment of a city and/or county taskforce for LGBT citizens, residents, business owners and youth. City or county sponsorships, grants or other financial or non-monetary support of LGBT programs, projects, services or community organizations.

Speak out You can learn more about contacting your elected representatives on the Charlotte City Council and the Mecklenburg Board of County Commissioners by visiting : :


guest commentary by Rob Schofield :: N.C. Policy Watch

Romney and Obama comments show need for intelligent discussion about government The two major presidential candidates have both set off political firestorms in recent weeks with controversial comments about the nature of the relationship between Americans and their government. First, President Barack Obama attracted a fusillade of attacks for his ill-advised use of the phrase “you didn’t build that.” Now, more recently, Governor Mitt Romney has become a bug on the nation’s political windshield because of his remarkable assertion that 47 percent of Americans are “dependent” on the government and think of themselves as “victims.” Romney’s comments were not actually new or surprising to anyone who pays attention to the modern American conservative movement. Inhabitants of “free market” think tanks, radio talk show hosts and many other conservative politicians have been making the same argument for years. Their central claim: that a large proportion of Americans have “no skin in the game” because they don’t pay federal income taxes and that public “entitlements” are “out-ofcontrol.” A look at the facts, however, demonstrates that such contentions are, even when viewed through the most generous lens, plainly inaccurate. A new report from the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities makes clear that virtually all Americans — even the very poor — pay significant chunks of their income in federal taxes, including payroll taxes and excise taxes on gasoline and other items. Moreover, when state and local taxes are included, the poor often pay a higher percentage of their income than the wealthy. In North Carolina, the richest one percent of taxpayers pays a significantly lower share of their income in state and local taxes than do taxpayers at the middle and the bottom. The Center has also debunked common mythology about “entitlement” spending. This 2007 report showed that, aside from the “big three” programs of Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, so-called entitlement spending was and is taking a declining share of the gross domestic product. So, given these hard data, how do we make sense of the demonstrably false claim that a huge proportion of Americans are, in effect, freeloaders? What lies behind it and how can we address it in a positive way so that the rancor and divisions it helps breed can be eased? A look at the recent political rhubarb surrounding President Obama’s controversial “you didn’t build that” comment might actually help. Though the President’s comments have clearly been taken out of

context by his political opponents, it’s true that his choice of words was poor and that it touched a nerve in millions of people whose nerves were already close to the surface. Whether we like it or not, a large proportion of the American public has come to subscribe to a new and rather radical vision of the country in which: a) all private business owners are beleaguered heroes, b) their own government is the enemy (or at least a competitor), and c) in a rather massive bit of irony, that they are victims. The origins of this attitude are clearly complex. Fears brought about by rapid economic and demographic change combined with incessant propaganda from the Fox Newses and Rush Limbaughs of the world clearly play a big role. Still, it must be noted that pundits and politicians of both parties have played “government is bad” card for decades. Moreover, there can be no doubt that many of our governmental structures and systems — like all large public and private structures — are bureaucratic and flawed. Sadly, in the modern hyper-consumerist American society, too much of the citizenry has come to relate to government as it relates to a big box store — not as citizens and stakeholders, but as consumers whose goal is to get the most for him or herself at the cheapest possible price. Though understandable, this is a dangerous perversion of our system. The American government was not designed to be “run like a business.” It was designed to be a unique and very public institution in which Americans come together collectively to accomplish great things that no individual or corporation could ever accomplish alone. What is needed right now in the United States, perhaps more than just about anything else, is a revival of this public spirited attitude; a renewal of the once prevalent belief that public systems and structures are not “theirs” but “ours” — ours to coown, to build and to share. Founding father Ben Franklin once uttered the wry and now famous observation at the outset of the American experiment that “We must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.” In 2012, Americans and their leaders would do well to remember and revive this truism — both with respect to the way they think about their fellow citizens and their government. : : — Rob Schofield is the Director of Research and Policy Development at N.C. Policy Watch (


If the election for president were held today, would you vote for Barack Obama, Mitt Romney or neither? See the options and vote: Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



news notes: carolinas. nation. world. compiled by Lainey Millen | David Stout | Matt Comer

Charlotte Housing sought for students

Other guest speakers at the seminar included: Robyn Allen of Charlotte Skin & Laser, Daniel Persirithes of Planet 21 Southend, Roby Abraham of Buffalo Exchange, Dr. Eric Emerson of Southeastern Plastic Surgery and Laser Center and seminar organizer Dan Mauney. Mauney expects future events in next spring and fall. For more information about future seminars or other events, visit — M.C.

Triad Adam set for fest CHARLOTTE — College Democrats from across the state will descend on the Queen City to provide phone bank and canvassing support for Jennifer Roberts’ campaign efforts. Roberts hopes to become the only female Democratic congresswoman for North Carolina. She is a loyal support of the LGBT community and would represent the Ninth District. Accommodations are being sought for the students, whether it be a room or a spare couch. To assist, contact Gabriel Seth Koch, Young Democrats of North Carolina vice president and Roberts field director, at or Aisha Dew, Mecklenburg County Democratic Party chair, at — L.M.

Transgender seminar proves popular

CHARLOTTE — A local doctor and organizers of a seminar series for transgender people say their first event on Sept. 15 was a success. The “Express Your Inner You” seminar was held at Presbyterian Family Medicine Midtown on Sept. 15. The five-hour-long seminar attracted 17 members from the Carolina Transgender Society. Dr. Rhett Brown discussed a variety of topics including: skin care, hormone treatment updates, hair, makeup, dressing for your body type, fashion trends, shoes and plastic surgery.

WINSTON-SALEM — The Adam Foundation will hold its annual Adam Festival fundraising event on Oct. 6, 7-11 p.m., at the Children’s Museum of Winston-Salem, 390 S. Liberty St. In its 23rd year, the festival’s theme this year is “Imagine Adam.” It celebrates life, equality and philanthropy. Organizers say that the fundraiser and the work that the foundation does has grown over the years. Funds raised for the banquet go to support 2013 grants. Food and dancing, as well as a silent auction and live auctions will be the fare of the evening, along with a cash bar or souvenir glass (valued at $25) Foundation grant recipients for 2012 will be in attendance. Sponsorships are still being accepted. Those who do so at the $250 mark receive two tickets to the festival plus two tickets to a “thank you” pre-party on Oct. 5 at the Piedmont Club. Food, drinks and live entertainment will be provided. Tickets are $30/advance, $35/at the door, with students at $15 each. For more information, visit — L.M.

Triangle Center’s banquet on horizon

RALEIGH — The LGBT Center of Raleigh has announced that its annual “Raleigh Is

Coming Out” awards banquet will be held on Oct. 12, 7 p.m., at the Stockroom, 230 Fayetteville St. Honorees are Art Speery, Distinguished Service Award; Madeline Goss, Community Impact Award; and Jim Manchester, Volunteer of the Year Award. A silent auction and entertainment will be provided. Auction items include a week’s stay at The Dunes Condominiums in Provincetown, Mass.; a Tiffany & Co. mystery box; and twonights stay at Lords South Beach in Miami Beach, Fla. Tickets are $100 and are available on a limited basis. An after-party will take place at Spy Bar, 330 W. Davie St. after the banquet. On Oct. 6, LaToya Hankins will do a reading and book signing of her debut novel, “SBF Seeking…,” at the center at 411 Hillsborough St. It will be preceded by a reception. The book shares the story of coming out for a Raleigh magazine writer. In other news, the center is looking for a few in-kind contributions to support its facility and work. Those items needed are: coat tree; landscape design and materials for the center; LGBT-themed DVDs and CDs for the library, as well as books; soft drink and snacks; and digital projector. For more information, visit — L.M.

CGN hires webby

RALEIGH — The Gay Christian Network has recently welcomed Timothy Gaull to its team to serve as its web development user experience and new media architect. His hiring comes after an exhaustive search for a qualified applicant to fill this role for the growing organization. The network is still accepting contributions to its web redesign and development initiative. For more information, visit — L.M.


Mountain Pride slated

Program: Time: Membership: Information:

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

ASHEVILLE — The LGBT Democrats of North Carolina will host its second annual state convention on Oct. 6, 4-6 p.m., at the Grove Park Inn, Roosevelt Room, 290 Macon Ave. This is being held in conjunction with Blue Ridge Pride and the N.C. Democratic Party’s Western Gala. President Ryan Butler of Greensboro was recently interviewed by C-SPAN at the Democratic National Convention held in Charlotte. Other offices are Concetta Caliendo, vice president, Charlotte; Gayle Keresey, secretary, Wilmington; Kirby Heard, treasurer, High Point; and Zachery Reedy, vice president for university and college outreach, Cullowhee. The event is free. Dues are $10 for those who want to join the organization. For more information, email ryan@ or visit —L.M.

National/Global Activists disrupt anti-gay summit

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Members of GetEQUAL, a national direct-action LGBT equality group, were dragged from a Sept. 15 protest inside the “Values Voter Summit” at the Omni Shoreham Hotel. Activists marched into the conference carrying a mock coffin

Third Tuesday of every month, except when there is specialized programming, plus monthly socials to promote networking and friendship A wide variety of topics of interest to appeal to the diverse LGBT community After work with a cash bar social and heavy hor d’oeuvres with dinner and program following Visit the website for application options and benefits. Call 704.565.5075 or email for more details or write to The Charlotte Business Guild P.O. Box 33371 | Charlotte, NC 28233


Dems to hold convention

ASHEVILLE — Blue Ridge Pride will be



held on Oct. 6, 12-7 p.m., at Pack Square Park. Theme for this year is “United with Pride.” Various activities will be held during the weekend and will culminate with the outdoor festival. According to promoters, it has been named by CNN Travel as one of the five Pride festivals to attend. The Renaissance Hotel serves as the host hotel. Attendees can obtain a blurpon, a buy-one-get-one at 50 percent off, to stay at the hotel on Oct. 5-6. A raffle is also being held for a two-night stay at the hotel for $5 each. To find out more about this program, email Drawing will be held on Oct. 1. Rooms are limited and can be booked on a first come-first served basis. For more information, visit — L.M.

see next page u

news draped in a rainbow American flag, reading anti-LGBT quotes from Tony Perkins (pictured) of the Family Research Council, the main organizer of the event, and projecting the names and photos of youth who were driven to suicide by anti-gay bigotry. The Summit featured an array of high profile anti-LGBT leaders, including Michele Bachmann, Mike Huckabee, Rick Santorum and Paul Ryan, as well as seminars and plenary sessions on such topics as how to deny equal rights to LGBT Americans. Following the protest, GetEQUAL organizer Erica Keppler said, “The ‘values’ promoted at this summit alienate millions of LGBT Americans from full and equal citizenship; deny us our dignity; seek to prevent us from enjoying the basic joy and security of marriage; create an unsafe environment that leads to suicide, violence and hate crimes; and, too often, results in violence toward and even the murder of our LGBT brothers and sisters.” — D.S.

49ers to LGBT youth: ‘It Gets Better’

SAN FRANCISCO, Calif. — The San Francisco 49ers have become the first NFL team to join the It Gets Better Project, an online video campaign where thousands of videos

condemning anti-gay bullying are curated. The 49ers’ video comes after a successful petition drive by fan Sean Chapin, who collected more than 16,000 signatures encouraging the 49ers to make a video. Last year, Chapin successfully petitioned the San Francisco Giants to become the first Major League Baseball team in the country to make an “It Gets Better” video. In the video (available at itgetsbetter. org/#z4glWjcbAbY), 49ers Safety Donte Whitner says, “The San Francisco 49ers are proud to join, to let all LGBT teens know that it gets better. On behalf of the entire 49ers organization, we are on your side, and we promise it gets better.” Also participating in the video are Defensive Tackle Ricky Jean Francois, Defensive Tackle Isaac Sopoaga and Linebacker Ahmad Brooks. “Let’s hope this is only the beginning, and that more NFL and professional sports teams around the country take this opportunity to speak up on behalf of LGBT fans and kids,” said Chapin. Following the Giants lead, nine more baseball teams have made It Gets Better videos, including the Chicago Cubs, Los Angeles Dodgers and Boston Red Sox. — D.S.

vulnerable populations like LGBT people are at heightened risk for trauma and may be less likely to have access to emergency services. “Many LGBT individuals and families fear discrimination in shelters or when seeking other emergency services during natural disasters or other forced evacuations,” said HRC President Chad Griffin. “Emergency responders and volunteers need to be aware of the needs many in our community have, and should be sympathetic to the fact that families come in all shapes and sizes. Our families deserve to be treated with respect and should never be separated due to a lack of legal recognition.” HRC Legislative Counsel Robin Maril added, “LGBT families seeking assistance may experience unnecessary, intrusive questions from shelter volunteers and workers. After a disaster or evacuation, many people enter a shelter with very little personal identification or documentation. For LGBT families, who often rely on a number of documents to prove their relationships to each other, or their children, this

increases their vulnerability to discrimination.” View the guide online at assets/resources/EmergencyResponders_-_ LGBT_Competency.pdf. — D.S.

U.N. head pushes for equality

GENEVA, Switzerland — On Sept. 10, U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon addressed the opening of the XXI session of the United Nation’s Human Rights Council, making LGBT equality a point of emphasis in his remarks. During his speech Ki-Moon highlighted the first debate the council held on sexual orientation and gender identity this past spring. “I welcome the groundbreaking, first-ever intergovernmental discussion, in March this year, on discrimination and violence based on sexual orientation and gender identity,” he said. Adding, “This should not be a one-time event. I urge you to deepen your engagement on this issue so that protection and dignity truly reach all members of the human family.” — D.S.

HRC issues disaster responder guide

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) has released a guide for local, state and federal organizations detailing how they can best serve LGBT people and their families during disasters or forced evacuations. In an emergency or disaster situation,

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



Walter Dalton tours gay-owned Greensboro business Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley joins Walter Dalton in tour of Replacements, Ltd. by Matt Comer ::

GREENSBORO — North Carolina Lt. Gov. Walter Dalton, the Democratic candidate for governor this year, toured the gayowned Replacements, Ltd. in Greensboro



on Thursday. Sept. 20. Dalton was accompanied by Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley and Replacements owner Bob Page and his partner Dale Frederiksen.

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

Page’s and Frederiksen’s successful company — they employ about 450 people — has been consistently ranked among the most LGBT-friendly places to work. The business and couple are also regular sponsors of national, regional and local LGBT organizations and causes. During the anti-LGBT constitutional amendment campaign, Page and Frederiksen donated approximately $250,000 to help defeat the discriminatory measure, which was approved 61-39 percent on May 8, 2012. Democratic gubernatorial candidate Lt. Gov. Walter O’Malley’s presence during the Dalton, center, with Replacements, Ltd. owner Bob Replacements, Ltd. tour is fitting. As goverPage, left, and Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley, right. nor in Maryland, O’Malley has been outspoPhoto courtesy Walter Dalton campaign Facebook page. ken in his support of marriage equality and signed a bill that will extend marriage rights public high school and two fundraisers. to same-sex couples this January if approved The Democratic and Republican guberby a majority of voters in a special referendum natorial campaigns in North Carolina have on the general election ballot this November. relied heavily on campaign support from other Dalton’s tour of the Replacements facility governors and elected officials. Republican gave him a chance to speak on his jobs plan, candidate Pat McCrory recently appeared the campaign said on its Facebook page. in state with New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie. Dalton and O’Malley also made other stops in Former Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell also Greensboro and Raleigh, including a tour of a campaigned with Dalton last month.


Fund seeks new stakeholders by qnotes staff

Charlotte Business Guild President Teresa Davis, left, with Kevin Levine and Marcia Tillotson of the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Fund.

CHARLOTTE — The Charlotte Business Guild hosted their monthly dinner on Sept. 18 with special guest speakers from the Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund, who discussed the work they do and the $110,000 in funding they recently provided to local LGBT non-profit organizations. The Guild’s meeting started with cocktails and conversation before dinner and a short speaking program from Charlotte Lesbian and Gay Fund members Kevin Levine and Marcia Tillotson. Levine and Tillotson also took questions. The Fund will celebrate its 10th anniversary in 2013, Tillotson said. She and other members hope to increase the number of their

fundraising “stakeholders” from the current 55 to more than 75. Stakeholders are individuals or couples who give $1,000 or more to the Fund each year. Levine and Tillotson also said the Fund hopes to grow its funding sources so they last “past our lifetimes.” Their endowment was just $25,000 three-and-a-half years ago, said Tillotson, and now stands at about a $250,000. Part of their success has come from estate giving. Their goal is to eventually increase the endowment to $500,000. Learn more about the Fund at page.aspx?pid=953 and the Charlotte Business Guild at : :

Former Santorum staffer, Citadel cadet accused in sexual misconduct Two cadets say older studenet acted inappropriately, once on trip to Conservative Action Political Conference in Washington, D.C. by Matt Comer ::

CHARLESTON — A former Rick Santorum campaign aide is being accused of sexually harassing two younger cadets while he was a student at The Citadel. The accusations allege that Steven Munoz, now 23 years old and a graduate of the academy, used his authority over the younger cadets, then freshmen, to make unwanted sexual advances. The incidents occured in 2010 and 2011, including one incident between Munoz and one of the cadets during a trip to the Conservative Political Action Conference in Washington, D.C. According to an internal memo obtained by, officials at The Citadel no-

tified cadets of the allegations and encouraged cadets to be aware of inappropriate use of authority. The internal email also shows Citadel officials were expecting media coverage of the reports and were prepared for Munoz’s link to Santorum to be a focus. Munoz ran an advance team for Santorum’s presidential campaign and also received payment from the Mitt Romney campaign for consulting this year. Romney spokespeople told BuzzFeed that Munoz was never employed by the campaign and did “a few ad hoc projects…on a per diem basis.” : :

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012




on being a gay parent by Brett Webb-Mitchell qnotes contributor

White water parenting With my life-preserver vest snuggly snapped onto my torso and my helmet or “brain bucket” firmly on my head, my partner Dean and daughter Adrianne climbed into the yellow whitewater inflated raft on a cool September afternoon. With a heave-ho, we pushed our raft upon the French Broad River outside of Asheville. Along with straight couple Erin and Alan, our river guide Cole went through all the maneuvers we would need in mastering the rush, crash and splash of the swiftly moving waters of the French Broad: “Put one cheek on the side and the other on your seat, with the foot closest to the edge wedged in the seat in front of you.” And, “All in means you all fall into the center of the boat, paddles up, got that?” We practiced paddling forward, backward and did some circles clockwise and counter-clockwise. With everyone paddling together and with Cole’s steering, we were soon in the middle of our first set of rapids. The energy among the people in the raft was electric as we all looked forward to whitewater fun. The afternoon’s ride on the French Broad River was just what we all needed in the raft. We easily maneuvered the raft around treacherous rocks, ducked under low hanging limbs, pushed away from tree trunks that had fallen in the water. Cole made the observation that not one time down the river is like any other ride: even though the rocks have not moved, the height of the water and the weight of the raft changes the run itself. It helped that our crew of folks worked well together, paddling forward and backward with élan. Amid the quieter moments in the raft, we discovered common ground in our joy of the outdoors, love of dance, joy of Broadway musicals, with almost everyone sporting a tattoo or a piercing somewhere on our bodies. Almost everyone jumped from a boulder that

jutted out into the middle of the river. Later we jumped out of the raft and floated lazily in the shallow calm parts of the French Broad. Like life, some of the best rapids were at the very end of the trip, with an exhilarating moment when we almost flipped over. We all gave an enthusiastic “thumbs up” at the end of the journey, wet from head to toe, smiling broadly for a fantastic afternoon. Gay parenting is like white water rafting. Our families are in our creative and brilliantly festooned vessels of our own construction that we learn to make nearly unsinkable, but only if we work together in our adventure of being our own kind of family. In the river of life there may be moments in which the waters hit against the obstructionist rocks of hate toward LGBTQ families, creating a harrowing water hazard that would easily overturn or fold in half other less-prepared crafts, with the crew finding themselves in uncharted waters. Low hanging limbs of fear try to scratch us, but we’ve learned to duck or quickly cut away those limbs, leaving our lives unscathed. While there are always hazards of discrimination and threats of violence against LGBTQ families in the waters in which we travel, we too teach our children and ourselves life-saving lessons: we go through drills of learning to paddle and work together to go forward. We know when it is time to put all paddles up as we fall against each other in support of one another when we go through more treacherous times. And, when we fall out of the vessel, some times the best move is to put our feet up, throw our head back and laugh in the light of the moon until we get to a safe place to get back into the craft. Finally, we give each other permission to enjoy being family together, going along with the good flow, thumbs up, creating memorable times in a life buoyed by love. : :

For the most up-to-date coverage, visit us online at



Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012


dream, be at that first prelim to secure a spot to go back, sister! Never give up! Still in a national frame of mind, let’s discuss recent prelims to Miss U.S.ofA. At Large since the national contest is quickly approaching. The gorgeous Desiree DeMornay pouring in from everywhere! Where’s my cup? has been everywhere, man, as the old country song goes — Wisconsin, which my sister Ivana Black won with RU Harmony Breeze; Ohio, Maria Garrison with RU Beth ole gal in a Continental PLUS prelim in the (who I’m told burned the building down in final Amphetamine; Iowa, Crystal Belle with RU past. Man, that girl loves the glamour! I also night Gown). Other finalists included Barbara Ginger Snaps; Texas, Valerie Paris and RU missed an acquaintance of mine from Pulse in Herr, Jasmine International, Sasha Nolan, Chanel LaMasters; Missouri, Orlando who had popped into town — Qween Savannah Leigh, Yessa Mahajanay DeMornay with Amor. An old bitch has to work early, y’all! I Yoyovish and Mercedes RU Victoria Von Dutch; NC, can’t go out like I did when I was 26! Black. Since I do not Malaysia Kenyatta Black and Not only was Uptown busy for Pride, know Sasha well at all, RU Michelle Michaels; and but just a week or so later, we hosted the but have seen her break then most recently, a double Democratic National Convention and there a sweat just doing a crowning in the beautiful was even drag for that — a special show at number at the Baton, NC mountains at Scandals. Wet Willie’s, featuring our Miss NC U.S.ofA. I’m hoping she will have Nina Fierra won Miss Blue Jamie Monroe, Roxxy C. Moorecox, BethAnn a wonderful year and Ridge and her RU was Eureka Phetamine and the make-up and hair diva to will be half as “real” O’Hara and Tyra Couture all, Big Shirli Stevenz, also an accomplished and sweet as her first won Southern States with RU entertainer in her own right. I’m told our comrunner-up. Fontasia is Brittney O’Bryan. munity’s delegate from NC, Janice Covington, an excellent person, On to Miss America busiwas also a VIP guest that night. “old school” to the core, ness — Kirby Kolby is rapidly Are you surprised I didn’t start with the and known throughout coming to an end of her reign news of the most recent Miss Continental the country for her as well as the 40th anniverpageant? Oh, but you knew it was comabilities at the sewing sary MGA. Since leaving ing, though. A big congrats and aloha are machine and on-stage. Miss North Carolina, she going out to the winner, Baton Show Lounge She’s ‘good people’ as has been to Miss Louisiana, diva Sasha Colby, originally from Hawaii. we say in the south,and Her runners-up included Fontasia L’Amour, if I had the chance to Mokha Montrese, which Dextaci won with RU Kourtney Van Wales, Miss Carolina Stasha National Entertainer of the Year. speak to her, I would Sanchez, Queen Bee Ho and Tiffany T. Hunter Photo Credit: News Realm Studios tell her- — if it’s your see Drag Rag on 20

drag rag by Miss Della qnotes contributor

Pageants are My dear readers, we gather once more, as we have for 16 years now, to get updates on pageantry tea and such. It has been a busy time since the last one, for sure. I hope you all noticed or know that the last Rag was so blessed long that it appeared online only — and not in print. It covered the results of Miss NC America and such and I do hope you’ll go there to check it out at Since that last one, we’ve had a recordbreaking Pride in Charlotte! There were two stages in Uptown featuring shows from different bars and I recall seeing performers like Miss Pride Charlotte London Dior, former Miss Central Carolina Tara Storm, former Miss NC Tiffany Storm, Mr. Unlimited USA and Pride Charlotte My’kel Knight-Addams, former Miss World Brooke Divine-Storm LaReese, along with visiting “RuPaul’s Drag Race” contestants Jiggly Caliente and Dida Ritz. I know Roxxy C. Moorecox was also working, along with Scott Weaver, BethAnn Phetamine and other entertainers from Snug Harbor. Speaking of “Drag Race” girls, I’m sorry I missed Latrice Royale who was in town the Wednesday night before, as I had judged the

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



Statewide Best LGBT Non-Profit Organization LGBT Center of Raleigh Best AIDS Service Organization Regional AIDS Interfaith Network Group with Most Effective Grassroots Advocacy Equality North Carolina Best Pride Celebration in North Carolina Pride Charlotte

Best LGBT Club/Bar for Men Marigny Dance Club Best LGBT Club/Bar for Women Hartigan’s Irish Pub Club/Bar with Best Drink Value CO2 Club/Bar with Hottest Bar Staff Marigny Dance Club Club/Bar with Best Drag Show The Scorpio

Jen Jones Best LGBT Leader (Female) The communications director of Equality North Carolina, Jones is a proven leader. Before and during the campaign on Amendment One, Jones served as the voice for Equality North Carolina and the state’s LGBT community, in addition to her own advocacy work including a cross-state run to raise awareness and funds to fight the amendment. The Hon. LaWana Mayfield City Councill, Charlotte, N.C. Best LGBT Politician/ Elected Official Elected to the Charlotte City Council in 2011, Mayfield became the city’s first ever openly LGBT elected official. The moment was historic, as an openly lesbian community leader with experience in a wide range of advocacy and education projects benefitting communities across the city took her seat behind the dias. Mayfield has distinguished herself as an able leader on economic matters, social justice issues and LGBT equality.



Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

Club/Bar with Best Entertainment Variety The Scorpio Best Drag Performer in North Carolina Angela Lopez

James Miller Best LGBT Youth Leader (under 30) Best LGBT Leader (Male) Hired last November, Miller has quickly proven his ability as a natural leader for the LGBT Center of Raleigh and the LGBT community in the Triangle. A North Carolina native, Miller worked at the Massachusetts Department of Public Health in Boston before taking his position with the center. His non-profit management experience and knowledge of the LGBT community have helped to shape the LGBT Center of Raleigh into a dynamic and growing community organization.

Triad Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant 6th and Vine Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Deli First Carolina Deli LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant with Best Desserts Maxie B’s Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Soul Food Sweet Potatoes LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant with Best Brunch Breakfast of Course!

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Adult-Oriented Store Annabelle’s Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Coffee Shop Caffe Prada Best Local Non-Profit Organization AIDS Care Service Best LGBT-Affirming Faith Institution Green St. United Methodist Church Best Local Drag Performer Paisley Parque

Cityscape P Durham Convention & Visitors Bureau • Gr Greensboro Area Conv jacreative’s photostream via flickr Winston-Salem Conve

The Hon. Dan Besse City Council, Winston-Salem, N.C. Best LGBT-Friendly Politician/Elected Official A member of the WinstonSalem City Council since 2001, Besse has become a leading progressive voice on matters of LGBT inclusion, environmental conservation, in addition to past legal and other work for organizations providing services to low-income families and on healthcare issues.


For the third year in a row, qnotes went directly to the people for their votes on their favorite and best coffee shops, restaurants, nightclubs and bars, popular leaders and elected officials and non-profit organizations. Through June, July and August, hundreds cast their ballots for their best of the best in LGBT Carolina. We’re pleased to announce this year’s QList winners, chosen by LGBT and straight ally North Carolinians as the best among their class.

Charlotte Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant Lupie’s Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Fine Dining 300 East Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Latenight Dining The Penguin Drive-In Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Deli Common Market LGBT-Friendly, LocallyOwned Restaurant with Best Desserts The Landmark

Photo Credits: reater Raleigh Convention and Visitors Bureau vention & visitors Bureau r, licensed under creative commons ention & Visitors Bureau

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Cheap Eat (under $15) Hartigan’s Irish Pub

Best LGBTFriendly, Locally-Owned Soul Food Mert’s Heart and Soul Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Mexican Restaurant 3 Amigos LGBT-Friendly, LocallyOwned Restaurant with Best Brunch SOUL Gastrolounge

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Coffee Shop Central Coffee Co. Best Local Non-Profit Organization Time Out Youth

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Retail Store Paper Skyscraper

Best LGBT-Affirming Faith Institution Unity Fellowship Church of Charlotte

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned AdultOriented Store White Rabbit

Best Local Drag Performer Buff Faye

Raleigh & Triangle Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant The Burrough

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Soul Food Beasley’s Chicken + Honey

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Late-Night Dining The Burrough

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Mexican Restaurant Jibarra

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Deli Remedy Diner

LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant with Best Brunch Tir Na Nog Irish Pub & Restaurant

LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Restaurant with Best Desserts PieBird

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Retail Store The Green Monkey

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Cheap Eat (under $15) The Burrough

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Adult-Oriented Store Our Place

Best LGBT-Friendly, Locally-Owned Coffee Shop Benelux Cafe Best Local Non-Profit Organization LGBT Center of Raleigh Best LGBT-Affirming Faith Institution Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Raleigh Best Local Drag Performer Mary K Mart

The Hon. Anthony Foxx Mayor, Charlotte, N.C. Best LGBT-Friendly Politician/Elected Official As Charlotte’s first Democratic mayor in 22 years, Foxx’s election to the city’s highest executive office in 2009 marked the beginning of a new era for LGBT inclusion in the city. Unlike his predecessor, Foxx has never turned a cold shoulder to the city’s LGBT citizens and residents. Foxx has quickly earned loyalty from the city’s LGBT community.

The Hon. Brad Miller U.S. House of Representatives North Carolina Best LGBT-Friendly Politician/ Elected Official As one of North Carolina’s leading progressive voices, Miller has earned his strips during two decades of service. He served in the state House (1992-1994) and Senate (1996-2002) before his election to the U.S. House of Representatives in 2003. Miller became a leading voice on matters of LGBT equality. Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



on the map nightlife

Karaoke, The Woodshed starts at 9 p.m.


Barbeque & Bloody Marys, Bar at 316 free BBQ from 3-6 p.m. The Sunday Social Spades/Card Games & House Muzik, Nickel Bar from 5 p.m.-Midnight House Cast Show, The Scorpio with DJ 4Real. 11:30 p.m. Woodshed Sundays, The Woodshed free dinner buffet served at 6:30 p.m. karaoke, 9 p.m.





Game Night, Bar at 316 Team Trivia and Line Dancing, Hartigan’s starts at 8 p.m. Karaoke, Petra’s hosted by Rachel Houdek. 9 p.m. Wicked and Wild Wednesdays, The Scorpio featuring Tiffany Storm with DJ 4Real. 11 p.m. Pool Tournament, The Woodshed starts at 10:30 p.m. Thursday Night House Party, Bar at 316 $3 Club Night, Blue Bar New club night with hunky “eye candy” for the men! $3 wells, $3 house, $3 beers, $ cover. Pool Tournament, Central Station Rockin’ Well Thursdays, Chasers with Valerie Rockwell. Show starts at 12:30 a.m. Free HIV Testing, Connections the 2nd Thursday of every month. 8-10 p.m. Karaoke Night, Hartigan’s hosted by Roxxy C. Moorecox. 9 p.m. Team Boystown, Marigny starts at 10 p.m. $10 cover after 11 p.m. Drink-n-drown. SpeakEasy Thursday Open Mic Night, Nickel Bar from 9 p.m.-2:30 a.m. Karaoke Night, The Rainbow In free for members. $5 guests. $6 under 21. Underwear Night, The Woodshed

Movie Night, Bar at 316 starts at 9 p.m. Monday Madness, Chasers pool tournament at 11:30 p.m. $25 cash prize and $25 bar tab. Boxing & Monday Night Football, Sidelines Free Pool, The Woodshed all day.


Karaoke with Metro Mike, Bar at 316 starts at 9 p.m. Pool Tournament, Central Station Twisted Trivia, Chasers with Tiffany Storm & Brooklyn Dior. Showtime at 12:30 a.m. Trivia Tuesdays, Marigny hosted by Roxxy C. Moorecox 7 p.m. Midwood Madness, Petra’s half-price bottles of wine


House DJ and Dancing, Bar at 316 Fagtabulous Fridays, Cathode Azure $6 cover, “True Blood Shooters,” Video DJ. Free HIV Testing, Connections the 4th Friday of every month. 8-10 p.m. A-List Fridays, Marigny hosted by SugaWalls Entertainment. 10 p.m. Feel Good Fridays Dance Night, Nickel Bar from 9 p.m.-2:30 a.m. Live Performances, Petra’s Roxy’s Rainbow Review, The Rainbow In starts at 11p.m. Life’s a Drag, The Scorpio with Tiffany Storm. 11:30 p.m.

LGBT Community Center of Charlotte Seeks to promote diversity, acceptance and visibility of the LGBT community through original and collaborative programming and events and by providing an inclusive, welcoming and affordable environment for all. 1 820 Hamilton St., Suite B11 Charlotte, NC 28206 704-333-0144


House DJ and Dancing, Bar at 316 The Angela Lopez Show, Chasers show starts at 12:30 a.m. Live DJ, Hartigan’s Krewe Saturdays, Marigny Sexy Saturdays Special Events, Nickel Bar from 9 p.m.-2:30 a.m. Live Performances, Petra’s Urban Variety Show, The Scorpio with Elaine Davis. Midnight showtime.

White Rabbit North Carolina’s LGBT everything store. Complete line of Pride merchandise, plus magazines, books, DVDs, T-shirts, underwear, swimwear, athletic shorts, hats, hoodies, socks, and more. 920 Central Ave. 2 Charlotte, NC 28204 704-531-9988 . phone 704-531-1361 . fax

info: Don’t see your bar listed here? Submit your regularly scheduled events to Nightlife content the responsibility of each business listed.

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20 Questions Wesley Thompson, Charlotte by David Stout ::

Wesley Thompson dreamed of growing up and practicing medicine. That is, when he wasn’t dreaming of growing up and becoming Darrin Stephens and marrying a martini-making enchantress. “Once I realized I couldn’t have a witch for a wife,” he says, “guys were my next option!” After securing a degree from Duke University, he began working as a physician assistant in the late ’80s and, owing to the times and the fact that he was openly gay, patients with HIV



soon found their way to him at Kaiser Permanente in Raleigh. He had discovered his passion. Wesley came to Charlotte in 1997. Today, he enjoys a full life in the Queen City with Trey, his hubby of 26 years, and their two dogs Kitsey and Abbey. He practices HIV/AIDS and general medicine for the LGBT community at Rosedale Infectious Diseases in Huntersville. 20 Qs wanted to know more about this Flo Nightingale, so — us being us — we got all up in the Kool-Aid. What is your all-time favorite medical show? Life in my clinic is way more interesting than medical shows on TV, but if I had to choose it would probably be “M*A*S*H.” Have you ever purchased a condom from a restroom vending machine? Er, yes. My very first and I proudly carried it in my wallet for a year. And, then I turned 13. Is there a lawn or garden chore that you actually enjoy?

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

That depends on whether watching the yard guy is considered a chore. What kind of animal best reflects your personality? Bugs Bunny. How do these films rank based on the number of times you’ve seen them: “Blade Runner,” “The Fugitive,” “Raiders Of The Lost Ark,” “Witness”? In order, “Raiders Of The Lost Ark,” “Blade Runner,” “The Fugitive” and then “Witness.” Anything with Harrison Ford is right up there for me — even “Cowboys & Aliens” (which has Daniel Craig too). Did you own a G.I. Joe doll when you were young? I did not, but now I have a G.I. Joe and a G.I. male nurse sitting together holding hands on my bookshelf in the office. Did I mention that I have a thing for men in uniform? If Peppermint Patty and Marcie ever split up — goddess forbid — who would be a good match for each? Patty and Marcie are sacrosanct! How could you even ask me that? How would you finish this sentence: “It’s 11 o’clock on a Saturday night, time for me to...” “...Let the dogs out to do their business.” (I know, sad isn’t it?) What’s a perfect first name for a man who’s both super hot and super brainy? Daddy! Do you know how to water ski?

Yes, I have slalom skied since I was 15. Now, I’m trying to learn wakeboarding. Are you more of a dreamer or more of a realist? I believe if you can dream it you can become it. That’s my reality. Who’s the sexiest “Jason” of all time? Jason Statham would be up there for sexy good guy, Jason Segal for sexy sweet doofus and Jason Varitek of the Boston Red Sox for general sexy woofiness. (Did I mention that I have a thing for men in uniform?) How long has it been since you’ve taken a bubble bath? A year after my better half Trey’s stem cell transplant, we took our first bath together in more than 20 years Pancake, cupcake or beefcake? Beefcake serving me pancakes…in Daisy Dukes no less! Can you recall your childhood home phone number? Yes, I’m good with numbers and I definitely can. How many albums do you own by Led Zeppelin, Stevie Wonder and Cyndi Lauper added together? Only one: Cyndi Lauper’s 1983 debut album “She’s So Unusual” — on vinyl. Which sport displays its participants in the best uniforms or outfits? I had a thing for baseball players until I found

see 20 Questions on 20

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012




out in the stars

you a psychic lift which is strengthening. In fact, you have many adoring admirers and supporters right now by Charlene Lichtenstein :: qnotes contributor working behind the scenes for you. Be September 29 - October 12 cognizant of their influence and help. You will have the opportunity to offer Pluto gets bumped and jostled by Venus, some payback this winter. Or, will you Mercury and Saturn all through October, but in pay it forward instead? a very nice way. We feel our oats, as well as the SCORPIO (10.24-11.22) Your words move mounoats of others, and can unleash our personal tains. So, think carefully before you speak, craft oomph to take us forward and up, up, up. Go for your message with extra care and you can have it, whatever “it” is. friends eating out of your hand. (If that is really LIBRA (09.24-10.23) Your family not only gives what you want.) Queer Scorps can gab their way you monetary support (if needed) they also give into any select powerful cadre and exert their



Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

special brand of influence on it. Is it time to run for political office? I say yes you can. But, get going! SAGITTARIUS (11.23-12.22) Kaching! Your longterm plans finally begin to gel and take off…and not just monetarily. Prepare for a power grab. There were those, possibly in a prior corporate life, who tried to suppress you and thwart your progress. Now you have the upper hand. Use it. They say that revenge is a dish best served cold. Aren’t we headed into the winter months soon? CAPRICORN (12.23-01.20) Prepare to meet a bevy of unusual or even exotic acquaintances who manage to help you launch any personal project that has been cooking for a while on the

backburner. The secret is a mix of different perspectives. Showcase your creativity and sociability by forming groups or committees that impact your surroundings. Today, Main St. Tomorrow, the world, pink Cap! AQUARIUS (01.21-02.19) A secret admirer may make themselves known to you. Be ready to be surprised and abashed. And, they seem to arrive at just the right time and when they are needed. No matter how you might feel, listen carefully to their message and, if need be, pretend to be fascinated. You never know how much they can help you until you hear them out. PISCES (02.20-03.20) Friends and acquaintances can turn your life into a much more sensuous journey. Platonic pals can turn passionate if you allow yourself to be swept up in emotion. Of course, it can complicate certain relationships, Guppie. So, think first and act second. Some friendships are best kept on a low flame to simmer. Others can be pot boilers that singe the palate. ARIES (03.21-04.20) Months of hard work and suave political maneuverings around the office suddenly pay off with a bang. So, big shot, where do you go from here? What do you do for an encore? Chart your course carefully all through October, gay Ram. There is the temptation to take detours and excursions, but you can’t U-turn on the professional highway. And, avoid rest stops. TAURUS (04.21-04.21) October is a great month to expand your horizons, seek knowledge on arcane topics, test some legal waters and have some fun in the process. Don’t sit at home and wait for the inspiration to strike. There are places to go, people to meet, greet, sweep off their feet and worlds to change. Queer Bulls feel that they are on a grandscale personal quest. And, they would be right. GEMINI (05.22-06.21) Sexy and flirty pink Twins can turn their blah lair into a perfect rendezvous romp house. Heh, heh. So, check out your surroundings objectively. Efforts may involve a slight redecoration or a complete renovation with an eye toward comfort combined with a dash of uber-luxury. Weave your web and lure a few unsuspecting flies. Err, is that flyboys or flygirls? CANCER (06.22-07.23) October focuses on oneto-one relationships which can be strengthened or severed, as you decide, with a few wellchosen words. You seem to innately know who is worth the effort and who is not. And, yet, if you are in any doubt, remember that sweet nothings can pay dividends with little risk or cost. So, pile on the sugar and develop a cavity or two. LEO (07.24-08.23) Work hard this October to tie up any loose ends. Monetary rewards are waiting to be reaped for a job well done or even half-baked. But, you have to do it all yourself — don’t delegate and sit back, proud Lion, even if it seems tempting. The fates seem to know if you are the master of your fate or just a bystander and will reward accordingly. VIRGO (08.24-09.23) Not only are you the toast of the town, you do it in style and with panache. Find ways to maneuver yourself into the epicenter of all the action and in the right crowds. It won’t be hard. Queer Virgos are often content to toil helpfully in the background for scraps, but now even a Cinderella gets to go to the ball. So, get the ball (and bon temps) rolling. : : © 2012 Madam Lichtenstein, LLC. All Rights Reserved. Entertainment. info: Visit for e-greetings, horoscopes and Pride jewelry. My book “HerScopes: A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians” from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores and major booksites.


tell trinity by Trinity :: qnotes contributor

Drag queens, evil queens and cockfighting, oh my! Dearest Trinity, I’m a drag queen who competes in pageants and shows. But the other performers are not very nice to me. Am I doing something wrong? Curious DQ, Dallas, TX Dearest Curious DQ, As we leave our youth and enter adult life we find many wonderful and not so wonderful things. Some not so wonderful things are competition, envy and jealousy. They exist in all people to a healthy degree, but in others they are part of what makes bad queens, evil. This is life, especially in the entertainment industry, as well as the cockfighting industry. So, darling, be strong and accept these challenges as you climb the ladder of success. Also remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Hey Trinity, I’m a big fan of yours. I bought all three of your CDs on and I’ve seen you in concert. How do I keep up with your career?

I’ve also heard you’re still single. Do you like being single? Fan, Boston, MA Hey Fan, Now that I started a non-profit group for gay awareness and acceptance called WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings, I am a busy girl. To keep up with me log on to And, as for being single, I love it. Pumpkin, it’s more fun than having some man tell me what to do, when to do it or why am I doing it! Truth be told, living well is the best revenge! (My cartoon shows you all the advantages.) Hello Trinity, My new boyfriend invited me to go with him on a business trip to Alaska. When my matching faux fur earmuffs, mittens, boots and coat were discovered, he asked me, in the sweetest way to “butch up” my wardrobe. Any advice? Wardrobe Woes, St. Louis, MO Hello Wardrobe Woes, Love means compromise, not accessorize. Matching faux furs works great at Disney

World’s Gay Days, but for everywhere else a nice leather or tweed, long or short jacket, over anything smart, will entice him into inviting you on more trips. Also, sweetie, take him with you shopping so he can put you in things he likes. Remember, he has to look at you a lot more than you look at yourself. Dear Trinity, I recently retired. I’ve worked my whole life and waited for this day for a long time. But, now I’m very bored. Help? Retired, Portland, OR Dear Retired, Not to worry, my dear, sweet bored, I mean retiree, here’s, Trinity’s Rebel Rousing Tidbits For Passing The Time When Retired   1. Volunteer for a religious group, soup kitchen, retirement home or a political campaign.   2. Travel a bit, visit friends and/or family, go to museums, see some concerts or cultural events and enjoy this time off.   3. Take classes in American history, art history, world history or the history of how you keep getting laid off.   4. Pack some bags and move to a new location. Let this transition offer you a completely different and challenging adventure.   5. Besides fixing all those things you’ve been

waiting to fix, clean out your basement, closet or garage and have a yard sale or work the flea markets.   6. Start a hobby like painting, drawing, sculpting or making abstract art from the junk you discovered while cleaning out your house.   7. Try putting down the antidepressants, get on the internet or go out and look for a full time J.O.B.! Think about life beyond unemployment checks!   8. Join a gym and start exercising. Take a yoga class, an aerobics class or join an athletic group, i.e. hiking, baseball or job hunting.   9. But, don’t start exercising your addictions for drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, shopping or becoming a couch potato! 10. B  ecome an advice columnist, writer, comedian, actor, singer, and recording artist or spend your time and money in psychotherapy. I always do! — With a Masters of Divinity, Reverend Trinity hosted “Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama performed globally and is now minister of WIG: Wild Inspirational Gatherings.

info: . Sponsored by: WIG Ministries, Gay Spirituality for the Next Generation!

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012




Drag Rag continued from page 11

Arilyn Roberts; Arkansas, Veronica Duval and RU Cloe Roberts; TN, Suzy Wong with RU Venus Knight; MidWest, Kofi and RU Monica Moore; Illinois, Dayonna Hilton with RU Diva DeParis; Texas, Kara Dion and alternate Alexia Crawford; Southeast, Jessica Deveraux and alternate Andrea “Chocolate” Carlisle; and the last one, Miss MidEast, which Emory Starr won and her RU was Bridget Nickles. Twentythree prelims. Wow! I wanted to mention the Mr. Scorpio and Miss Scorpio At Large contests which were recently held here in Charlotte. Former Miss Scorpio Elaine N. Davis coordinated the night and I was honored to judge. I think I liked the “male lead” contest more, because it was a fierce competition. Three big names known on the national level came in, along with a former Mr. Pride Charlotte. Monte St. James won and his runners-up were NeAundre Bonet, Jeffrion Dickerson Sanchez and Scooby Damone Knight-Addams. For the large- andlovely ladies, we had Dorae Saunders taking the crown and her runners-up were Cheetah Vereon Shaw-Sinclair and Paisley Parque. I had the pleasure of seeing for the first time Alexus Sanchez of Greenville, SC, that night, and this sister completely took her gospel number and “tore it out the frame” for Talent. I was blown away by her in this category. And, speaking of bar titles, hats off to a gorgeous Noel Leon who recently won Miss South



Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

Beach at Mekka in Miami; her RU was Allison Sangria. Noel is quite the artiste and all boy. I had no idea. I need to get y’all a pic of her — you will gag! Jumping over to Cleveland, OH, Miss Addicted to Glamour At Large at Bounce Nightclub — the gorgeous, airbrushed Erica Martinez won and her RU was Adrianna Fuentes of KY. Just one more, I promise! Congrats are going out to Alondra Sanchez (another beautiful boy queen, I’m told) who just won Miss Zigfield’s in DC; her RU was Jessica Jade. In closing, I want to extend my condolences to our new Miss NC America, Ariel Nicole Knight-Addams, on the recent passing of her dear, precious mother. Next time, we’ll discuss results from different contests around the country, including the Ultimate Panache contests in Hawaii. Monte, our new Mr. Scorpio, is actually going to relinquish the Mr. title! Here’s hoping you get lei’d, babe! : : info: Drop me a line, OK?

20 Questions continued from page 16

out they were wearing protective cups. Do you more often prefer to have your feet bare or covered at home? Bare. I love to have my feet rubbed! Is that an offer? What’s your go-to word or phrase for when you’re feeling angry, frustrated or annoyed? I don’t think it’s printable. Do you think we will have an effective HIV vaccine within the next decade? I think research is working very hard to figure out a vaccine. HIV piggybacks on our own DNA and tricks us into making more of it — the sneaky little bugger. This makes it hard to configure a vaccine. A functional cure is most likely in the next decade. In the meanwhile, research is ongoing looking at multiple one-pill-a-day regimens and an every-three-months injection for controlling HIV. Also, Truvada, when combined with other preventive measures, is very promising for decreasing the number of new cases and was a “Turning The Tide” theme at this year’s International AIDS Conference. : :

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012



InFocus: Community Resources [Ed. Note — Starting last issue, qnotes began publishing a new rotating column listing various community resources. Last issue’s feature was on faith institutions. This issue, we list resources for advocacy organizations, arts groups, media organizations, philanthropic giving and sports. These community groups are here to serve you and we know of no better way to simply inform the public of their good works than by giving you the opportunity to connect with them and get involved. If you don’t see your organization listed or if you need to correct any contact information, please email with “InFocus addition/correction” in the subject line.] Mecklenburg LGBT Political Action Committee (MeckPAC)

Advocacy Campus Pride 704-277-6710 Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality Equality North Carolina HRC Carolina



Arts Actor’s Theatre of Charlotte 704-342-2251 Carolina Actors Studio Theatre 704-455-8542

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

Charlotte Pride Band Gay Men’s Chorus of Charlotte 704-549-9202 One Voice Chorus 704-529-2951 Queen City Theatre Company



Charlotte Gay and Lesbian Fund 

Creative Loafing

Southern Country Charlotte
 Queen City Stomp
 southerncountry Wesley Mancini Foundation 704-375-4275, ext. 11

Charlotte Observer Visit Gay Charlotte

Charlotte Front Runners Charlotte Nude Yoga Charlotte Royals Rugby


Queen City Rollers groups/41825881558/

Carolina Softball Alliance

Queen City Tennis Club

Pride Statewide

There’s more Pride festivities across the Carolinas this fall than you can shake a stick at! Upcoming events listed below, but, of course, be sure to check out the official event websites for more details! NC Pride • Sept. 29 Durham’s NC Pride Fest and Parade on Sept. 29 will light up the streets of the Bull City. A vendor fair and full parade are the highlight of the weekend, along with nightlife events and more. Learn more at Blue Ridge Pride • Oct. 6 Need a bit of fresh mountain air? Head up to Asheville for Blue Ridge Pride on Oct. 6. More information at Winston-Salem Pride • Oct. 13 Equality Winston-Salem presents the Twin City’s second annual Pride, with headliner Taylor Dayne. For more information, visit SC Pride • Oct. 20 With a parade and festival, South Carolina’s capital city glows with rainbow. More details at Oct. 4-7 • Charlotte Metrolina Expo Marketplace International Collectibles and Antiques presents the Metrolina Expo Marketplace full of great gifts for everyone on your (up and coming) holiday shopping list. (Yes, it is nearing that time!) From shabby chic to priceless antiques, you’ll find something for everyone. $5, $4/seniors, Free/children 12 and under. Metrolina Expo, 7100 Statesville Rd. Thru Oct. 7 • Charlotte ‘Godspell’ Central Piedmont Community College presents “Godspell,” based on the Gospel According to St. Matthew, and featuring a sparkling score by Stephen Schwartz composer of “Wicked.” Drawing from various theatrical traditions, such as clowning, pantomime, charades, acrobatics and vaudeville, “Godspell” is a groundbreaking and unique reflection on the life of Jesus, with a message of kindness, tolerance and love. Pease Auditorium, CPCC, 1200 Elizabeth Ave. Various Dates. Various Times. $10-16.

11 p.m. Sept. 29 • Winston-Salem
 A View From the Top
 Winston-Salem Pride hosts a pre-Pride party on the rooftop of downtown’s Nissen Building. 310 W. 4th St. 8-11 p.m. For more information, visit

your afflictions, developing an understanding of what we do and why and instruction on how to create your own personal meditation space. Participation is free. Donations appreciated. Poor Richard’s Book Shoppe, 135b Brevard Ct. 7-8:30 p.m. 704-271-4644.

Oct. 2 • Charlotte Drake Dentistry open house The staff of Drake Dentistry of Charlotte, including Dr. Joe Drake himself, invite the public for an open house at their newly-renovated offices. Light hors d’oeuvres, beer and wine will be served. Drake Dentistry of Charlotte, 1716 Kenilworth Ave., Suite 180. 5:30-8 p.m. RSVP to

Oct. 4 • Charlotte ‘Lawrence of Arabia’ NCM Fathom Events and Sony Pictures Entertainment present a special 50th anniversary celebration of the cult-classic film, “Lawrence of Arabia,” at Regal Stonecrest at Piper Glen, 7824 Rea Rd. For more information and tickets, visit fathomevents. com/classics/event/lawrenceofarabia. aspx?d=10%2F4%2F2012.

Oct. 4 • Charlotte Meditation: Insight and Awareness Kennon Knight will lead this twice-per-month, series of one-hour sessions on meditation. This time will be spent with: discussion of the history of meditation, four five-minute meditations, becoming aware of your emotions and

Oct. 5 • Charlotte Halcyon at Hartigan’s The ladies of Halcyon return to Hartigan’s Irish Pub as a part of the restaurant-bar’s “Unbelievable October” full of events. Hartigan’s Irish Pub, 601 S. Cedar St. 10 p.m. $10 cover.



Oct. 6 • Charlotte Dining with Friends The Regional AIDS Interfaith Network (RAIN) presents their annual Dining with Friends fundraiser. Hundreds will join forces for house parties and then meet together for a finale with dessert, champagne, coffee and cocktails at the McColl Center for Visual Arts, 721 N. Tryon St. 9 p.m.

Submit your event to our new calendar!

You can now submit your event to a special comprehensive community calendar presented by qnotes, the LGBT Community Center of Charlotte and Visit Gay Charlotte. Submit your event at and get a three-for-one entry. All Charlotte-area events will appear on each of the three calendars at qnotes (, the LGBT Center ( and Visit Gay Charlotte (

Sept. 29 • Charlotte The Red Party The Bar at 316 presents a special Red Party benefiting the Regional AIDS Interfaith Network and in honor of Gay Men’s HIV/AIDS Awareness Day on Thursday, Sept. 27. Come dressed in your best red attire in support of a good cause. The Bar at 316, 316 Rensselaer Ave. 10 p.m. Sept. 29 • Charlotte Be Proud: Don’t H8 Marigny Dance Club presents a special fundraising party for Don’t H8 and their work for equality. Their teen division is currently working to raise money for scholarships. Drinks specials and entertainment by Chip Matthews, Felicity Ferraro, Jayda Clyne, Porn star and exotic dancer Christian Lezzil-Matthews and more. Marigny Dance Club, 1440 S. Tryon St.

Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012





Sept. 29-Oct. 12 . 2012

QNotes Sept. 29-Oct. 12, 2012  

We've got our annual QList 2012, Best of the Carolina winners and we so proud of each of them. Additionally, we've got a host of other news...

QNotes Sept. 29-Oct. 12, 2012  

We've got our annual QList 2012, Best of the Carolina winners and we so proud of each of them. Additionally, we've got a host of other news...