Family Matters Winter Issue 2012
LETTER FROM PAM LOZANO Executive Director Dear Readers, As I have been praying over this issue of Pure Design, I have been so excited. I sense the Lord wants to release a message of reconciliation and hope to many of you teenage girls. As we head into the holidays, often times it’s a “yippy-skippy” season of Hallmark cards saying, “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays,” celebrating the cheerful bliss of Christmas and the New Year. Yet amidst the over-eating and visiting with family, we are anything but happy or merry on the inside. So many of us dread or fear the holiday season because of past experiences that we’d rather forget. Many teens have to live with the reality that Christmas is not a happy season. Whether it’s because of finances, divorce, abusive situations, or insecurities, the season is anything but merry. The intense struggles with parents can be heightened and many are left feeling isolated and alone. On the other hand, many of you love Christmas and this truly is a time of happiness and joy. No matter whether you love or hate the holidays, God creates seasons in our lives, and He uses ALL things for our good! If we can learn to embrace the seasons that we are in, and live in the moment, God can teach us through joy or pain. My prayer for this issue is that as you turn pages, looking at images, and reading through articles, you will sense God’s heart for you. Families DO MATTER to God. He is the inventor of the family structure, and no matter what yours looks like, it DOES matter to Him. Malachi 4:6 – says, “He (God) will turn the hearts of the fathers (and mothers) to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers (and mothers).” God’s desire is that your hearts would be turned toward your parents, not away! Society tells you to “do it on your own,” or “they just don’t understand you.” God wants for us to prefer one another and be in right relationship with those He has placed in our lives. You may be thinking, “But you don’t know my parents. They don’t deserve my respect!” That may be totally true, but God’s command to honor your father and mother didn’t come with an “if ” after it. He desires honor and respect in our relationships at home. We desire to keep inspiring you to be part of a generation that will live differently from the standards the world sets for you. May you be challenged by the stories you read, and encouraged by the questions that are asked. We hope the fashion and creativity motivate you to try new things, and be all that God has created you to be! There is so much potential inside each of you, and God desires to use you to impact the world that you live in! Set high standards for yourself, because you are valued by the Almighty God! Again, I am truly humbled and honored by the women God has put together to be part of this team. I am blessed that He is allowing us to do this. Please continue to share this gift with others by telling your friends and family! Thanks for joining us! Affirming His Design!
Pamela Lozano Executive Director
Contributors Aaron JerEmias Kennel Club USA Photo shoot setting Connie Corrova Cabin, Sunbury Photo shoot setting Kandi Mayo makeup artist/ hair stylist for photo shoots Nancy Zaiser makeup artist for photo shoots Todd Taylor Markt Solutions T-shirt sales Kimberly Baker Peacock Lane Homes, Worthington chair donation Mike & Kim Lotz Lotz Studios, Galena studio space Hannah Kiener artist backdrop for photo shoot Gordan College, Boston Marketing Booth/space
Table of Contents
meet the team
6 winter fun!
8 14 16 fitness 18 22 34 40 46 48 can U hear me now? DIY & crafting
the heart of a father
cold weather couture
the prodigal daughter
hair and makeup
happy holidays... NOT!
Meet the Pure Design Team! Ni
Pu ole b Ev licist ent / Coo rd
Kimtograp Pho tor i Ed
Marke tin Webma g Director/ ster
r/ Founde Director e Executiv
er Photograph Editor
ra Lauhion M
Edit h or/D
Ph th M oto D edi a C irect rit or & ic
te u ff Kaood N s Bu s F tne Fi
on ia Oliv & Fashi rop P t stan Assi
Layou h t&D esig Appren tice/W n riter
Thriftaholic & Master Crafter
ilen uru Cae hion G Fas
Cr ery aft ing A
! Winter fun! n u f r e t n i W
1 - World Aids Awareness Day 4 - Wear Brown Shoes Day 6 - Mitten Day 7 - Letter Writing Day 8 - National Brownie Day 9 - International Children’s Day 10 - Human Rights Day 15 - National Lemon Cupcake Day 17 - National Maple Syrup Day 18 - Bake Cookies Day 20 - Go Caroling Day 21 - Look On The Bright Side Day 24 - National Chocolate/Eggnog Day 25 - Christmas Day 31 - New Year’s Eve
1 - New Year’s Day 3 - Sleep Day 5 - National Bird Day 8 - Bubble Bath Day 13 - Make Your Dreams Come True Day 14 - Dress Up Your Pet Day 15 - National Hat Day 16 - Martin Luther King, Jr. Birthday 18 - Winnie the Pooh Day 20 - Penguin Awareness Day 21 - National Hug Day/ Squirrel Appreciation Day 23 - National Pie Day 25 - Opposite Day 27 - Chocolate Cake Day 28 - National Kazoo Day 31 - Inspire Your Heart With Art Day
1 - National Freedom Day 2 - Groundhog Day 4 - Thank a Mailman/Woman Day 7 - Send a Card to a Friend Day 11 - Make a Friend Day 12 - Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday 14 - Valentine’s Day 17 - Random Acts of Kindness Day 20 - Love Your Pet Day/President’s Day 21 - Card Reading Day 22 - George Washington’s Birthday/ Be Humble Day 26 - Tell a Fairy Tale Day 27 - Polar Bear Day 28 - Floral Design Day
Help Wanted The Pure Design Team is looking for help, especially for our Spring issue! We are working on this during the months of December, January, and February, and need help in photography and design layout! Because we are a volunteer staff, we are dependent upon people who are willing to come aboard and assist us. We also have a desire to be as professional as possible, so we are looking for skilled staff who are willing to donate time and talent. Our magazine layout is done in InDesign and published in Issuu, so if you are willing to help with layouts and spreads, you would need to have access to this program and be knowledgeable in InDesign and Photoshop. If you are a professional or semi-professional local photographer, and are available to help with photo shoots, we would love to check out some of your work, and talk further!! If you are interested, please contact our Executive Director, Pam Lozano at Pam@puredesignministries.com.
can u hear me now? Hi honey. How was your day? I hope you had fun at the bball game! What time will you be home?
b hm @ 10. dont 4get 2 sign my perm slip 4 the sr trip. c u in the am b4 school?
Pam Lozano & Caeilen L.
From a teen daughter From a Mom For many teenage girls, it’s hard to understand how much
We live in a society where we are in constant communica-
your parents love you. Often, I feel like they don’t really
tion with others. We drive and text, we talk and tweet, we
understand what I am going through, and that they could
instant-message, Facebook or talk on our cell phones day
never know how I really feel. Tons of things keep me from
and night. We sleep with our cell phones on our beds or
talking to my mom, and a lot of times we end up having
under our pillow just in case someone needs to get a hold
a gap in our relationship. But God wants us to stay con-
of us in the middle of the night. The need to be available
nected! He wants us to prioritize family and be open and
anytime to anyone drives our culture and society. When
honest with each other no matter what. If you are like me,
we don’t get a text back within a few minutes, we feel frus-
you need to be reminded your mom will always be there
trated and insecure; we might even call to make sure our
for help and guidance. As young women, we need to for-
message was received.
get about how the world views communication, and be respectful, vulnerable, and honest; to obey our parents and
We can literally become addicted to the constant contact
have healthy friendships with our moms. My mom and I
with others. But what kind of contact? We may not realize
are so close, but we have to constantly work on it together.
these tools of communication can hinder our ability to create deep, authentic relationships with friends and family
One big reason I don’t tell my mom how I’m doing is be-
cause I don’t want to feel weak. I am a very strong person, yet all of us are human and in need of help. A lot of times
Being heard is one of the most validating things on this
I can forget that I was placed on this earth in this specific
planet. When we, as human beings, know that we are
family for a purpose by God’s plan. I am so fortunate that
heard, we feel important, connected, and cared for.
He gave me my mom, and I need to come to a place of surrender and humility so that my heart is set right towards
As a mom of a teenage daughter, I often find myself won-
her when she gives me correction and warnings. If I want
dering if I am doing enough to foster good communication
to stay close with my mom, I need to have an open mind
in our home. Am I asking the right questions? Am I
continued on next page
continued on page after next
“The truth is our parents do want healthy relationships with us.”
From a teen daughter continued
and listening ears to hear her words of wisdom and love. One of the hardest things for me to talk about with my mom is boys. Yes, boys are a major struggle for most girls our age. Come on, we can’t talk about communication struggles and breakdowns without talking about boys, can we? That really would be leaving out a most crucial part! I find it really hard to talk about my feelings and hormones with my mom. I know for some of my friends, it’s the easiest thing to talk about. I’m not saying that we never talk about the male species, but I just find it hard to tell my mom that her little princess has a crush on a guy that seems absolutely perfect for her princess’s life and future! I get really frustrated when my mom reminds that I am not allowed to date right now, and that Jesus really can fill every desire in my heart. I have grown up in the church and have heard it over and over again. But until a few months ago, I really didn’t know how I could relate to Jesus being my prince charming without even knowing what He looks like. For the longest time I would ask myself, “Can I really fall completely in love with the Lord who is also my father, friend, and King?” I do believe that with maturity and spiritual growth, you really can come to a place of satisfaction in Christ. We have to trust Him because He knows what is absolutely best for our future. One last thing that keeps me from communicating with my mom is when I believe the lies of the enemy. Even be-
fore I go to talk to my mom, I hear a voice telling me that she won’t really care. How could she possibly want to pay attention to me and what I am dealing with when she is so busy with more important things? But those are the words of a liar who can deceive us very easily, if we are not in a good place. The truth is our parents do want healthy relationships with us. Life is busy and we can focus on a thousand other things, but family is most important. We need to remember that we only live under our parents’ roofs for so long. “Once we are grown up and live in our own houses and apartments, we don’t have to listen to their counsel anymore!” That’s what the world wants us to think anyhow. But we need to be wise and listen to the advice we are given now, so we can apply it to our future. God disciplines those He loves; and our parents do the same because they also love us and only want the best for us. As young women we have to remember that our mothers are a precious gift from God, and that they DO care about us and what is going on in our lives. We need to take time to share how we feel, who we hang out with, what friendships we struggle with and how we need help. The list goes on and on, but no matter what, our mother-daughter relationship is important and we need to keep it healthy and strong. When I’m older, I want to reminisce about happy memories and experiences with my mom. I do not want to have regrets because I refused to communicate with her, or because I tuned her out.
From a Mom continued
When I do sit down to talk, I might interrupt or try to prob-
drawing out what is deep inside my daughter’s heart? Am
her. When I do this, I’m not validating her feelings or emo-
I truly listening to hear her heart when she communicates
tions. I’m trying to be “mom” and make it all better, or fix
with me? Am I able to receive her answers – even if they
the problem so we can move on. Other times I judge my
aren’t the answers I’m hoping to hear?
daughter’s heart based on my own past mistakes, assum-
lem-solve rather than hearing her out or empathizing with
ing her motives are the same as mine were, rather than As a parent, I desire more than any-
allowing her to be her own person with her own thoughts
thing to have great relationships with
my children. I want to know them and what is going on in their lives ev-
When I slow down and remember
ery single day. I want to hear about
that my kids want ME—my time, en-
their struggles, their friendships, their dreams. In order to know them, I must make time to listen and cultivate a real relationship with my kids.
not a gr8 day. wish i didnt have school 2morrow. girls r mean! :(
ergy and emotions—I am able by God’s grace to truly be a friend, a mentor, and a better mom. My heart, more than anything, desires meaningful, lifelong relationships with my kids.
Parent-teen relationships are difficult for a lot of reasons. The generation gap is a truly valid issue, because times (especially in today’s culture) are rapidly
Since I’m sitting next to you on the sofa... how about we put down our phones and talk about it? :)
changing, and it can be difficult to keep
When they are grown up, I want them to want to come to me for advice and input. I want meaningful friendship with my kids throughout the rest of my life.
up. This fast-paced culture we live in does not value the kind of communica-
In order to have that, I must invest
tion that actually builds meaningful re-
now, giving them my time, energy and
lationships between parents and teens.
love. I must take the time to cultivate real conversations in which they know they are being heard, understood
I know for myself, I can get so busy with my “to-do” list
and loved unconditionally!
that I can forget to sit down and relate with my daughter, listening to her wants and needs.
“Am I drawing out what is deep inside my daughter’s heart?”
Red Carpet Photo Shoot
Red Carpet Fashion Show
Heather Evans & Chris Westra Libby Johnson & Claire Decker
Moving through the Holidays The holidays are full of wonderful times with family and friends. We share in many traditions surrounding Christ’s birth. Often these celebrations are accompanied by meals and yummy desserts: hot chocolate, pumpkin pie, sugar cookies, and eggnog to name a few. Although a little sugar and spice is alright in moderation, you can keep your body and mind healthy by adding exercise to your holiday routine. Here are a few fun exercises and stretches you can do that will keep you moving and feeling good throughout winter festivities. Standing Forward Bend (Figures 1.1 & 1.2): Stand up straight with your feet about 4 feet apart. Raise your arms over your head as you inhale, then exhale as you bend forward at your hips and place your hands on the floor. Stay here in this stretch while taking 5 deep breaths, stretching further forward with each exhale.
Squats (Figures 3.1 & 3.2): Stand with your feet flat on the ground, a little less then shoulder-width apart. Cross your arms, and point your feet slightly outward, not straight ahead. Look straight ahead, bend at your knees as if you were going to sit back in a chair, keeping your heels on the floor. Pull in your abs, keep your lower back as straight as possible, and slowly lower yourself down and back so that your upper legs are nearly parallel with the floor. Lift back up. Repeat 20-25 times.
Triangle Twist (Figures 2.1-2.3): Stand up straight with your feet about 4 feet apart. Stretch your arms out to your sides, keeping your shoulders down, back, and away from your ears. Inhale first, then twist to your right (from your waist, not your shoulders) as you exhale. Bend from your hips as you place your left hand on the floor next to the inside of your right foot and stretch your right arm up to the sky. Inhale as you straighten up and repeat on the left side. Do this 5 times per side; on the last time, hold for 30 seconds on each side to further stretch your legs.
By Kate D. By Kate D. By Kate D.
Don’t stop here!
Look for opportunities to exercise with a friend, your mom, or a sister. There are countless resources for enjoyable workouts ranging from books, YouTube™ tutorials, DVD’s, or local classes. Above all, remember to strengthen yourself not only in your body, but also in your mind and spirit.
â€œHe will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents...â€? Malachi 4:6
A Pure Design Interview with Andrew Hutson, Todd Garman, and Danny Meyer – three dads in very different stages of life. Andrew’s little girl, Ava is a 4-year-old preschooler. Todd is currently raising his teenage daughter, Haley... and Danny is the father of Chelsea, a grown woman and mom herself. Each dad has a different perspective of raising girls and boys. We asked each of them to share from their own perspective and experiences.
What is the best thing about raising a daughter? ANDREW: The best part about raising a daughter is getting to play a role in helping her realize her own uniqueness, beauty, strength, and identity. Even at age four, I can begin to see all these characteristics in my own little princess. TODD: The best part about raising a daughter has been being able to model for her how she should expect to be treated by men in her life. It is an unspeakable privilege to treat her with care and love, knowing that how I treat her will “set the table,” for the standard she will have of how men should treat her. DANNY: As a father it is wonderful to see how a daughter can bring out areas of my personality and temperament that my sons do not tap into, especially in the areas of listening and responding to vulnerability and relationships.
What is the most difficult part of raising a daughter? ANDREW: The most difficult part is watching her fail from time to time. Every father feels his daughter’s pain when she trips and falls (both literally and figuratively), when she makes poor choices (like hitting her two year old brother), and when she’s too afraid to move into the wonderful things of this life. TODD: The most difficult part of raising a daughter has been trying to mitigate the harm and damage she will inevitably receive from living in a fallen and broken world. When she was younger I was able to relatively minimize the hurts she endured from people or things, but as she grows older and more independent I am less able to do that. It is a difficult thing to know that my daughter will undoubtedly be hurt by a world or by people who will not treat her with gentleness and care. DANNY: Without a doubt my answer would be not being overly protective, but wanting to be wise.
What is a favorite daddy/daughter moment that you’ve enjoyed with your daughter? ANDREW: This past summer, our family spent time at the beach. Ava desperately wanted to go out into the deep water. As we got deeper and further away from the coastline and the waves got bigger and higher, her grip got stronger and tighter. I will never forget her series of squeals of joy followed by yells of panic as I pretended to drop her into the waves. For the rest of my life, I hope that I get to be a part of her moments of joy and help guide and love her through the moments of fear. TODD: Haley and I like to visit pet stores together, because we both enjoy animals. We try to hold and play with as many of them as we can. It’s a great way to spend a 1/2 hour together, even though she always begs me to buy her a chinchilla and I have to repeatedly tell her no! We usually go from there to get ice cream or a snack somewhere, which helps ease the torture of her having to leave the animals at the store. DANNY: Chelsea is 36 years old, but when she comes over with her family to visit, she is still comfortable sitting next to me, putting her head on my chest, just being my little girl.
What is the biggest difference in raising a daughter as opposed to a son? ANDREW: My daughter is currently four and my son is two. Before becoming a father, I believed that both daughters and sons would act and behave identical until the later years. I could not have been more wrong. My daughter was practically born a princess, dressing in tutus, and playing with dolls, while my son tackled me the first moment he could run. At this point, I’ve realized that my son sees me as his best pal and wrestling buddy, but my daughter views me as her knight in shining armor, her rescuer and defender. TODD: The biggest difference between raising sons and raising daughters is the way they receive information, especially critical information. My boys can therefore tolerate more direct, straightforward discipline, criticism, or direction. Daughters tend to be a little more fragile or delicate, and internalize much more of HOW something is said and WHAT exactly is said. It is important that as a dad, I remember how I talk to them is very important. DANNY: Fathers tend to be more protective with daughters and less emotionally connected to their sons.
What characteristics in a young guy make him worthy of dating or marrying your little girl? ANDREW: My daughter is four and I would like her to wait to date until she’s at least THIRTY-four, but I know I can’t protect her forever. I hope to help guide my daughter to look for a young man who will fight for her, encourage her dreams, serve others rather than himself, and follow Jesus for the rest of their lives. TODD: Most importantly is that he puts God first in his life, and that it shows in his speech, action and treatment of others. He should be pursuing Christ first and foremost. If not, you will frustrate yourself and him, in proportion to the pursuit of Christ in your own life. If a young man is pursuing Christ, his aim will be to “die to himself so that others may live”. (P.S. For a great model of this, I recommend reading Shadow of the Almighty by Elisabeth Elliott. Although it’s not a dating book, she shares her journey of dating, pay particular attention to the way Jim pursues Elisabeth.) DANNY: Choose someone who loves Jesus, is honest, humble and wise.
What is one thing that you think every girl should know, no matter what age they are? ANDREW: You are the most beautiful when you are not trying to be, look, act like anyone else, but by just being the girl God created you to be! TODD: Every girl should know that while they each have an earthly biological father, they are first and foremost daughters of a Heavenly Father! It is HE that determines their worth, value and significance. He has established that every girl is PRECIOUS in His sight and LOVED by Him, regardless of what earthly success, popularity, and talents they may or may not have. This takes effort to wrap our brains around, and is therefore a mind-set that grows and develops AS WE SPEND TIME with that Heavenly Father, especially since the world and culture in which we live SCREAMS that our value comes from other people’s opinions of us! DANNY: That you love them and accept them unconditionally.
Music, Movies, and Mistletoe! Music:
Carol of the Bells Mannheim Steamroller White Christmas - Bing Crosby Let It Snow - Frank Sinatra Silver Bells - Bing Crosby Christmas Don’t Be Late Alvin and the Chipmunks Mary, Did You Know? - Kenny Rogers and Wynonna Judd Little Drummer Boy - Bob Seger Do You Hear What I Hear? - Bing Crosby The Christmas Shoes - Newsong The First Noel - Josh Groban Movies: Frosty the Snowman The Polar Express Home Alone A Christmas Carol A Charlie Brown Christmas Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer Elf
A Classic Christmas Cookie by Kate D.
To make these cookies, you will need: 2 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour 2 teaspoons of baking powder 12 ounces (or 1 1/2 sticks) of unsalted butter 1/4 cup of brown sugar 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract 1 teaspoon of lemon or orange zest 2 eggs Plastic wrap & cookie cutter shapes of your choice
Royal Icing To make this icing, you will need:
*Recipe adapted from 1 1â „2 cups of one confectioners sugar found in Martha Stewart's 1 egg white Stir the flour and baking powder together with a fork. Cream together 3-4 drops of lemon or orange juice the butter, sugar, lemon/ orange zest, and vanilla in a large bowl untilcookbook. it has a light texture. Crack the eggs into the butter mixture and whisk in. Thoroughly stir the flour mixture into that bowl. You now have cookie dough. Place the dough onto a sheet of plastic wrap and shape the dough into an oval. Wrap the dough in the plastic wrap, and refrigerate for two hours. After the dough has been in the fridge for two hours, preheat the oven to 325ÂşF. Line two large baking sheets with parchment paper or nonstick cooking spray. With a rolling pin, roll the dough onto a lightly floured surface and cut out shapes with cookie cutters. Bake for 5-8 minutes, or until pale golden. Carefully take the cookie sheet out of oven, and move the cookies onto a long tray or plate to cool. Decorate with icing, and enjoy with a cup of tea or hot chocolate!
Food coloring of your choice (or 2-3 teaspoons of cocoa powder for chocolate icing) With an electric mixer, mix the sugar, egg white, and lemon juice in a small bowl until smooth and creamy. Add food coloring (or cocoa powder), stirring in a little bit at a time until the icing reaches the color you desire. Spread onto cookies, and make sure to share! (These recipes were adapted from the Lemon Brown Sugar Cookie and Royal Icing recipes found on pgs. 534 and 535 of the Martha Stewart Cookbook.)
Cold Weather Couture
Lazy Layers Stay comfy and look effortless; take an oversized sweater, add a belt, and top it off with an intricate scarf
a Touch of Beret With winter quickly approaching, keep a beret on top as the ultimate hair accessory (and the best way to NOT do your hair!)
Kickinâ€™ Style Furry neutral boots go with anything and are PERFECT for winter
Mug Shots With a neutral pallet, add some icy blues for a chilling effect
A Furry Affair Nothing makes you feel more glamorous during the holidays than just a touch of fur!
Cheeky Red Who says you canâ€™t wear green and red in the winter? Try a new shade for each to switch things up
Comfy Cozy Plaids With a pair of jeans, any plaids will do
Purple Envy With a statement coat thatâ€™s sure to be seen in the snow, nothing goes better than a pop of purple and a bit of SPARKLE!
Gold Rush Several statement pieces NEVER go out of style
Platinum State of Mind With a warm tone underneath, some metallics and golds look more festive
by Kerry Merchant
DRIP. DRIP. DRIP. The patter from my shower head seemed like the only
phone list desperate to talk through the pain that was
piece of consistency in my life. I was the perfect pic-
eating away my insides. My best friend from high
ture of chaos at the moment; squatting by the locked
school, my old apartment mates, bestie from college,
door, my tired face in my hands, my stringy hair fram-
both my brothers, but no one answered my phone
ing my gutted imperfection. I flipped open my cell
calls. I tried texting.
phone to recheck the time. “Hey…this is Kerry. I really need to talk to someone 5 A.M.
right now. My boyfriend broke up with me and I’m in a real bad way.”
No sane person would be up at this hour, but I need-
ed to talk to someone. Anyone. I ran through my cell
I leaned my head back against the door and wrapped my fleece blanket tighter around my chilled body. I felt the loneliness that I had been fighting with my phone calls begin to seep into my skull. I tried praying—the first thing I should have done. God…I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I really need you to come through for me. Please give me someone to call. My Dad! It was like God smacked me with this inspiration. The urge rose up in me so strongly I couldn’t help but begin to dial my home phone number. I needed my father. But would he answer? “Honor thy Father and Mother.” The fifth commandment is only a few words, but it caused a rift in my household during my teen years. Battles raged over my parents pleas for me to give them just a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I’m sure I’m not the only person who went through what most parents would term the “rebellious stage” or what professionals call the “forming-one’s-own-identity stage.” I had been raised in church my whole life. I even did the whole Christian school thing, but when I was about sixteen, I went punk. I formed an identity based on a rebellious music trend. I dressed in black garb, wore stud bracelets, and always had my angry music in my ears—the whole package. I chose not to go to church much because I was done doing my parents’ thing and wanted to do my own thing. I didn’t realize my punk influences were making me angry, and I took much of that anger out on my parents. I couldn’t stop arguing with my parents, and I could not wait to move out of my house and go to college. I went to a college fourteen hours away from home on the east coast and was happy to do my own thing for a while. When I started dating my boyfriend my junior year of college, I was without rules and without guidance. We were in the same study abroad program together and lived in a house on the ocean. Sounds like a dream right? Wrong. My boyfriend and I struggled with being too intimate too quickly, and not just with physical intimacy either. When depression hit me he was the only one I leaned on. I didn’t go to God, my friends, or my family for emotional support. I only went to him… until that night.
It was late when I began questioning him about why we
I talked to my parents for three hours that morning, and
never prayed together anymore and he began breaking
they were reluctant to let me off the phone. They called
down. He didn’t believe in God anymore and he couldn’t
me twice a day after that just to let check on me and tell
love me anymore…not on his own. I had become too
me they loved me.
much for him to handle, and he wasn’t strong enough.
I ended up moving out of my ocean view house and trav-
“I don’t know how to get you through this, Kerry. I just
eling home early that school year to work through my
can’t do this anymore.”
depression. With my parents and God to lean on, I felt
more loved than I had in years. I became more involved
And now as my backside was firmly planted on the tile
in my church back home and let God’s people love me.
floor of my bathroom, I was completely broken and even
Instead of letting the superficial enjoyment of a rela-
more depressed than I already had been.
tionship fill my heart, I learned to find God’s joy in the
every day things of life.
I’d always hated dial tones, and I hated them even more at that moment. All I wanted was to feel loved—even if
it was from miles away.
Guess what? As a teenager, you are indeed forming your
own identity and becoming different from your par“Hello?” My Dad’s voice was a bit mumbled.
ents—which is a good thing! But my questions to you,
“Daddy?” My voice was sodden with tears.
my dear readers, are these: What kind of identity are
“Kerry? What is it, honey? Are you okay?”
you forming? What influences are you letting form you?
“My boyfriend broke up with me.”
Are you letting the media or a relationship fill you in-
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. Your mother and I love
stead of the love of God? Are you constantly fighting
you so much.”
with your parents?
Those words were just what I needed. I felt like the prod-
What I can tell you from my experience is this; clothing,
igal son who had gone away and squandered himself,
curfews, and music choices are not worth losing your
yet was welcomed back into his father’s arms with love.
relationship with your parents. Like it or not, God put
Like the father of the prodigal
son in Luke 15:20, God is filled
with compassion and love for YOU. No matter how far we
run, He is always waiting for us to come home.
them in your life. Your parents will ALWAYS love you and are a much better source of strength than any boyfriend you may ever have. If you don’t have a good parent in your life or parents at all, it’s important that you find an older Christian mentor to go to for advice. Perhaps you can lean on your youth pastor or even the parents of one of your friends when times become rough. Positive influences are essential to make it through high school and college. But above all those relationships, your relationship with your Creator is the most important. He is abounding in love, joy, peace, and strength. ALWAYS look to that relationship before any other. Like the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15:20, God is filled with compassion and love for YOU. No matter how far we run, He is always waiting for us to come home.
Kerry Merchant is a recent graduate from Gordon College where she studied Literature, Creative Writing, and Environmental Studies. She currently volunteers for Pure Design ministries and works at the YMCA. Some of her favorite things are reading poetry on snowy afternoons, going for walks in the woods, and a good mug of tea. Favorite quote: “God writes the gospel not in the Bible alone, but on trees and flowers, and clouds and stars.” —Martin Luther
PURE DESIGN PARTNERS! Pure Design Magazine is a product of Pure Design Ministries, a non-profit organization launched in January, 2012. All of our team members generously donate their time and talent to pull this magazine together. Our hope is to continue to be able to offer this on-line magazine absolutely free to all of our readers, despite operational expenses. We have committed to do this for at least our first year. WE INVITE YOU TO PARTNER WITH US FINANCIALLY BY DONATING TO PURE DESIGN MAGAZINE. All donations will go directly toward the operational costs of future issues. You can send cash or a check to Pure Design Ministries, P.O. Box 123 Sunbury, Ohio 43074. Please designate on the check or envelope “Pure Design Magazine”. Thank you for your generosity — our partners will help us expand Pure Design Magazine. For more information, e-mail Pam Lozano at Pam@puredesignministries.com.
Featured Local Artisans
Libby Johnson “Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” -Mahatma Gandhi
Libby Johnson’s art demonstrates an awareness of and appreciation for the patterns, shapes and objects of contemporary earth. Drawn in simple, organic form, her art subjects evoke joy and a vibrant, fresh, love for life.
Rebekah King Rebekah King is a 22-year-old who love, love, loves music, art, photography and living a life that seeks after God. She was raised in Columbus, Ohio but was actually born in New York. Her life is an amazing adventure of unpredictable happenings, but is grateful that when the Lord is upholding you, you can do anything!!
Twinkle, Twinkle To shine even brighter in a room full of gowns, opt for a bolder hue with some applique or glitter on it!
Bauble Effects Try a fun bubble shaped skirt to add flare and change things up from the normal dress routine!
Wild Thing Red with lace is a classic duo for winter wonderland fun! To add to this combo, put a touch of animal print to give a kick of pizazz!
Golden Girl Glam it up by wearing light pinks or almost nude color dresses with some flashy gold accents!
Sparkling Eyes! Step 1: First, apply foundation around and slightly on the eyelid. Then, apply a neutral tone of eye shadow to keep the look focused on the glitter eyeliner.
Step 2: Next, create a thin line right next to the lash line with a good amount of clear liquid eyeliner gel (to make the eye pop even more use a colored liquid liner instead of a clear one)
Step 3: Take a smaller stipple brush and dip it into your glitter (use any desired color).Then, gently press the glitter onto the liquid line and slowly work your way up to the half shadow crease. Make sure to keep the most amount of glitter near the lashes and completely on the line!
And voila! You now have a beautiful, stunning, and effortless look to transform you eyes for any holiday event or gathering! Good luck!
Take a strand of hair from behind the ear and braid it (if you have shorter hair take a strand closer to your temple) make sure itâ€™s a decent size in relation to the thickness of your hair. Take the braid and gently pull it over to the other side of your head and bobby pin it behind your ear, or somewhere where you can hide the bobby pin so itâ€™s not noticeable. Do the same on the other side, taking a piece from behind the ear, braiding it and pulling it over. If you have bangs, you may want to twist them back away from your face and bobby pin them, but it all depends on how they fall, and how it looks with braids. Make sure to use hairspray so it wonâ€™t come loose!
Maddie L. As the holidays approach, and choruses of Christmas
of my situation, I lived with my mom and step-dad,
carols echo endlessly on repeat, we think of candy
(who I now consider to be my “true” dad—he stepped
canes, ginger bread houses, snow, laughter… and hap-
into my life and has been the consistent, loving father
piness! The holidays are generally a time for family, and
figure to me, and my three half-brothers).
pleasant memories. But it’s not like that for everyone, and it wasn’t for me.
Every other weekend I went to my biological father’s house, but those weekends were very inconsistent and
Growing up, the holidays were the harshest remind-
often times he never showed up. I was really close with
ers of my situation—living in a divorced family and
my mom and step-dad, and didn’t like going to my fa-
spending time going between my parents’ houses and
ther’s house. I didn’t get along with his wife either,
their families. I can’t even begin to explain how much I
which made it even harder. Being torn from what I con-
longed for a normal family and to not be torn between
sidered my true family during the holidays was heart-
my mom and dad. I hated being forced to choose who
I wanted to spend Christmas Eve with and who got me on Christmas Day.
I was also jealous of my friends, who didn’t have to deal with what I was dealing with. They didn’t understand
People would try to cheer me up by saying “Well at least
what it was like to go from one set of parents to anoth-
you get more yummy food and presents than the rest of
er. I lived in a continual cycle of bitterness, anger and a
us! That’s awesome, right?!” But that wasn’t what I want-
general dislike for the holidays. I wanted them to be over
ed. Those things meant nothing to me; I just wanted to
as soon as possible, so things could go back to a sense of
spend the holidays with people who loved me. Because
During this time in my life it was hard for me to find joy.
I was emotionally closed off, and couldn’t figure out why
difficulties of my
God had placed me in a divorced family. I tried as best
as I could to smile and cherish the good memories, but
to shape me into
it wasn’t easy and I was really frustrated with my biologi-
the person I am
cal father. I thought if he REALLY loved me, he wouldn’t
now. It’s part of
take me from my home or keep me from spending the
my story, and the
holidays with my true family who really loved me.
beauty that has come from God’s
God loved us so much, He sent His Son as a beacon of light to a world in darkness.
For five years I struggled with these feelings, and even-
tually my dad left. I haven’t seen him in six years, but
for me. The Lord has brought a lot of healing to my
my feelings of bitterness and my general outlook on the
emotions around the holidays. When Christmas music
holidays were still there and silently killing me. At the
starts playing again on the radio, I am no longer filled
time, I didn’t understand the power my emotions had
with dread, but with peace.
and how they were affecting me. Some of you may be facing similar or even harder situaLooking back, it was hard and I definitely struggled, but
tions during this holiday season. My encouragement to
I can still see that God was with me. I learned to look
you is this… things may look bleak now, and things may
at the true meaning of Christmas—that God loved us so
be hard, but it’s all a part of your story. The Lord prom-
much, He sent His Son as a beacon of light to a world in
ises to never leave us or forsake us,(Hebrews 13:5) which
darkness. When I think about that, I realize that even
means He will be with you through every difficulty.
in the hard times, when I am swimming in my emotions and can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, there is
Your relationship with God is the most important thing
in life. He will come and bring healing to you and your situation, but it will require trust on your part as you wait on Him. Isaiah 40:31 says, “But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength.” It may not be as quickly as you hope, but ask Him to show you His plan and to heal you. You are loved by our heavenly Father. Allow that revelation to bring you comfort and peace. While remembering what and who we are actually celebrating this holiday season.
Behind the Scenes...
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SNEAK PEAK AT ISSUE 3! Join us on March 1st as we take a look at Inward Beauty. Beauty is defined by our society and culture in so many different ways, but God’s definition of beauty is entirely different. We have to choose which voice and message we will listen to! The world’s message SCREAMS at us, while God’s is a gentle whisper we often miss. We hope you will join us as we inspire you to cultivate beauty on the inside! Don’t forget to share this magazine with family and friends!! Tell them about our Facebook page and website... Check out all our contact information below! Things to look for this Spring: Inspiring Articles Spring Fashion Looks Ideas and inspirations for Prom “Beauty Contests” - Would you like to be a part of the Spring Issue? We are having a “Beauty Contest” - by asking our readers to submit art (paintings, drawings, sketches, sculptures) you’ve created, or photos of things in nature that speak “beauty” to you! Simply create a PDF file and e-mail it to us - including “Pure Design Beauty Contest” in the subject line. We’d love to include more of our readers in our magazines. Send your entries and submissions to: Pam@puredesignministries.com. Not all entries will be used, but we would love to have as many choices as possible!! Thanks in advance!! We love hearing from you!! E-mail us at Pam@puredesignministries.com, and visit our website at :
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All contents copyright ÂŠ 2012 by Pure Design Teen Mag. All rights reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the written permission of the publisher. Please write to Pam Lozano at P.O. Box 123 Sunbury, Ohio 43074 or e-mail Pam@puredesignministries.com
Pure Design Mag. is an online girl's magazine for teens by teens that inspires girls in the areas of purity, self image, and self worth. Thr...