MARCH 7TH, 2014
IN THIS ISSUE: UP YOURS 2014, THE DISASTER ARTIST, JAMS WITH JAN, GET THE BEST BEER ISSUE #6
& MORE
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Photo by Stephanie Knipe
How upset would you all be if The Load was printed in black and white until The Naked Issue comes out at the end of this semester? You wouldn’t? Oh, wow guy! Thanks for being so understanding! Really, it comes down to a certain number of color and black and white copies The Load is allowed to print per year, and we are nearing that limit. Now to go into deatil about that famous issue I just mentioned. I’ve heard people asking around campus when The Naked Issue will be coming out, or if it even is. I can assure you that it is. However, we here at The Load have thought it best to make this issue a bit more personal to the students. Which is why this year’s title will be, Your Naked Issue. Our general interest meeting will be Wednesday, March 12, at 8 p.m. in The Media office; room 0025 in the basement of Campus Center North. Here you will have a chance to ask questions you may have, find out when the photoshoot is, and just how we’re changing it up this year. Awkward hugs, Alyce
CORRECTIONS from our February 10 Issue
The Load is a non-profit newspaper paid for by the Mandatory Student Activities Fee. We welcome and encourage submissions from readers. The Load is a forum for campus issues and events, to give the students the voice they deserve. Any opinions expressed are those of the writers, not those of The Load, it’s editors, or the PSGA. Publication of submissions is not guaranteed, but subject to the discretion of the editors. No anonymous submissions will be considered, but we will accept use of pseudonyms on a case-by-case basis. Send all submissions and inquiries to PurchaseMedia@gmail.com. Our office is located on the first floor of Campus Center North, room 0025.
-The introduction to Jams with Jan was missing and is now included in the online archived edition of this issue. -David Weber did not recieve credit for his photograph of Jack Tomascak on page 13. The credit was added to the online archived edition of this issue. -In both the table of contents and on page 10, Alyssa Spizzirro’s name was misspelled. All archived issues can be found at www.issuu.com/purchaseload
1 THE LOAD
Head of Purchase Media
Michael Piazza
Contents Love, NYPIRG . . . . . . . . . . . 04
NYPIRG events
Noelle Tells You Moore . . . . . . . . . . 06
Plowing problems
Bring on the Wi-Fi. . . . . . . . . . . 07
What’s new with CTS
The Purchase Scholar. . . . . . . . . . 09
The life and legacy of Roy Neuberger
Student Life Calendar. . . . . . . . 11-14
What’s poppin’ in March & WPSR, and PTV schedules
One Team. Two Coaches. . . . . . . . 16
The women’s lacrosse team
The Cover Show. . . . . . . . 17-18
Print Editor-at-Large:
Alyce Pellegrino
Design Editor:
Stephanie Knipe
Staff Writers:
Nina Braca Ryan Brady Mike Cronin Ariana Cuadra Dylan Green Janet Katsnelson Noelle Moore Alyssa Spizzirro
The Load Logo and Cover Design by:
Philip Gibson
Contributers:
Stefan Olivia Alex Wojcik
Cover Photos by:
A night in photos
Leann Bescript Taylor Page
Up Yours 2014. . . . . . . . . . . 20
Copy Editors:
A feminist festival presented by FORTH
Jams with Jan. . . . . . . . . . . 21-22
An interview with Ray Chalmé & a ladies playlist CineMasai . . . . . . . . 23-24
The Disaster Artist & The Lego Movie
Noelle Moore Alyce Pellegrino Michael Piazza
Photo Contributers:
Leann Bescript Marc-Jean Gilles Dylan Green Stephanie Knipe Taylor Page
2 MARCH 2014
WORK FOR
THE LOAD
WE’RE LOOKING FOR:
WRITERS COLUMNISTS COPY EDITORS PHOTOGRAPHERS COMIC ARTISTS ILLUSTRATORS Looking to write a column about sports? Interested in publishing pictures from events on campus? Want to enhance your editing skills? Come to meetings Tuesdays at 9PM in the basement of Campus Center North RM:0025 or Email us at purchasemedia@gmail.com with any questions! 3 THE LOAD
LOVE, NYPIRG By Alex Wojcik
Thanks, as always, for expressing interest in taking action with NYPIRG! Below are some of the many opportunities for activists to get involved this week (organized by campaign). Thanks for all you do!
Come to the meeting on Wednesday, or just email us your story! Please keep it between 150 and 300 words.
Environmental Protection Consumer Action Meetings: Tuesdays at 6pm in the NYPIRG Meetings: Thursdays at 7pm in the NYPOffice (CCN0004) IRG Office (CCN0004) No Fracking Way! Take Action Table Monday 3/10 2-5pm in CCN Lobby/All over campus!
Credit Cards 101: A Student Empowerment Workshop Tuesday 3/11 6-7pm in the Red Room
Remembering Fukushima/No Nukes! Take Action Table Tuesday 3/11 2-5pm in CCN Lobby
Hunger & Homelessness Outreach Meetings: Mondays at 8pm in CCN0016
Higher Education Affordability Meetings: Wednesdays at 6pm in the NYPIRG Office (CCN0004) TAP Talks How has TAP (the NY Tuition Assistance Program) helped you? Share your story to help us fight for important reforms to TAP!
Be sure to listen in to Activism 101, Purchase NYPIRG’s show on WPSR this Thursday (and every Thursday) from 6-7pm. As always, feel free to stop by the NYPIRG office (CCN0004) anytime and be sure to like us on Facebook as well as follow us on Twitter & Instagram!
4 MARCH 2014
YOUR NAKED ISSUE GENERAL INTEREST MEETING Wednesday March 12th @ 8PM Basement of Campus Center North Room 0025
5 THE LOAD
UNSOLICITED ADVICE:
COMMUTER WOES By Alyssa Spizzirro
There’s something unnerving about being in college and still having your mom ask you if you finished your homework. The plight of a commuter. We accumulate hours spent in our car listening to NPR and Ke$ha. We brave unexplainably awful conditions when it comes to snow removal. I once had to shovel a young damsel’s car out of a foot of snow in the parking lot of W-2 (her car had been plowed into its parking spot). When the two of us tried to enlist the help of UPD they said they couldn’t come, but provided explanation and offered to give her the number for a tow truck. None the less, at this time of year, snow is my number one complaint when it comes to commuting. The first runner-up is traffic, depending on the time of day. Last semester I was late 40 percent of the time for my 8:30 a.m. class on days when I would leave an hour and a half early, and I live about 13 miles from the school. Maybe I’m just bad at social intercourse, but I was initially intimidated by how fancy and cool world of SUNY Purchase. It took a lot of courage to join clubs or speak to people in my classes, and I’m sure there are people less brave than myself. A bothersome aspect of college life is
that a lot of clubs meet at 9 p.m., which is late. I get it. It’s easy for people who live on campus and a time where lot of people have classes, but I end up getting home at 10:30 p.m., which can be disorienting. Not that clubs equal friends, but it’s a good way to find some. If you’re lucky enough to have friends, you definitely cannot get drunk with them, unless you’re cool sleeping on dorm carpet or spooning in a twin bed, then by all means. Same goes for events. If you don’t have friends, it might seem strange showing up to your college that you commute to on a Saturday night to try to meet people. My advice is that everyone in the world should be nicer. Commuters and residential members alike. If you’re not nice, no one will want to be your friend (I don’t know that to be true). Purchase is truly a welcoming and safe environment to attend school. Everyone I’ve met has been a good/nice/decent person. The campus isn’t exactly Munchkin City and you won’t get welcomed by singing adult dwarfs, but it definitely isn’t the worst. While it is not impossible to engage, there is definitely a disconnect between the commuters and the rest of campus.
NOELLE TELLS YOU MOORE:
PLOWING PROBLEMS By Noelle Moore
While snow and the labor that comes along with it is something that every New Yorker needs to come to terms with, a multitude of students reported being distressed and frustrated by how the the snow has been handled, particularly in the parking lots during and following the past two February storms. Many expressed dissatisfaction at the fact that they pay to park here, yet the lots are not as well maintained as they believe they should be. Students need to accept that they’re going to have to do some work themselves, but just how much is reasonable? Nicholas Roberts, an undeclared sophomore, reported a seemingly biased treatment of the lots after allegedly noticing that all the designated Chartwells spots in the E3 lot have been consistently well plowed, despite prevalent snow in other areas. “I’ve seen many students call in tow trucks just to get their cars unstuck,” he said, having nearly having to call for one himself. For some, getting out has been simply a nuisance that can be accomplished within 15 minutes if they just suck it up and get to shoveling. For others, who’ve had their cars boxed in by plowing, it can become an hour and a half long affair. With so much snow it is undoubtedly difficult to find somewhere to put it all. Yet, some students have found that designated place to apparently be on top of their own vehicle. Regina Lynch, a senior Literature student suffered such a fate. “I know the snow has to go somewhere, but the snow storm before last I had parked in the corner spot of campus center north, where you turn in after the speed bump, and they dumped it all on my car,” she said. “Call me spoiled, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask that they not dump extra snow on top of a student’s car.” Many students depend on their cars not just as a way to escape the humdrum life of campus, but for necessary commitments as well, such as jobs and
internships. “I need to count on my car,” Michael Bianco, a student, insisted when recounting conditions on campus. “Cars inhabited their spaces in their snow tombs and any free spaces had not been shoveled clean. That amazed me.” The seeming lack of attempts to plow vacant spaces is one of the sources of irritation for many, particularly those who have spent long amounts of time circling the parking lots, looking for a space that would exist if more were cleared. Jason Lima, a senior Cinema Studies major, while admittedly frustrated did acknowledge the college’s attempts, “I’d wish that they’d come around and salt the ice because some spaces are just inches of ice. Also, especially around turns, the mounds of snow have been making seeing very difficult. Though they do get the snow out of the road. Overall they’ve done a pretty good job, but the little things pile up.” However, it is also critical to understand the other side of the battle. The gentlemen who operate the plows have a very difficult job to do and one does not simply clear an entire campus of snow in the blink of an eye, especially seeing as how frequent the storms have been. Of the operators of the plows, they have been very helpful to the plights of the students. After 45 minutes of digging around my boxed in car with a broken shovel, I myself asked one of the operators tending to the Alumni lot if he could possibly help me out and he gladly obliged, turning what would have been another hour’s work into something manageable. Furthermore, they also have to take care not to damage any cars while plowing, which makes getting in tighter to the bumpers difficult. The students also need to take initiative and understand, that just like how Mommy isn’t here to do your laundry anymore, nobody is going to clean off their car for them. If you’re going to have a car then one must accept the responsibil-
ities that come with it. On the topic of both the students and the snow response teams mutual cooperation, Amaris Sicklick said, “One can only do as much as the other. In this kind of season I feel like there should be more effort to get the snow salted more often and the larger mounds possibly moved elsewhere. I would pay another five dollars a year for parking if I could just get that. The snow mounds themselves are taking up a lot of space, including empty parking spaces. In the apartment lots it is particularly a hassle.” Mutual frustration and struggle, however, can bring out the kindness in people as well. “A very nice bystander saw us struggling and offered her shovel to us,” Roberts agreed. “She waited out in the cold for about 30 minutes waiting for us to be done using it.” Instances such as these have happened over and over since the past two storms and while the effort may leave us panting and sweaty underneath our winter jackets there is a sense of camaraderie to be taken note of. So what can you do to make unearthing your car after the next impending storm a little bit easier? Once the snow stops, even if it’s 11 p.m., the best bet to ensure an easier escape is to go out and shovel around your car, when the snow is still soft. “The trick is to back in if you have a front wheel drive car,” Kevin Weisner advised. Tackling around the wheels and the sides of the car, so your wheels will be able to move, makes the whole process easier. Take care to make sure that the tailpipe is clear of snow after a storm or else gases could accumulate inside the car. Keep your wheels straight when backing out and if your car is capable, put it into the lowest gear. If you have a front wheel drive car and are finding that your wheels are spinning, carefully turn the wheel slightly and accelerate slowly to give the tires more traction.
6 MARCH 2014
Photo by Marc-Jean Gilles
bRING ON THE WI-FI By Ryan Brady Purchase College’s residence halls and apartments will all have accessible Wi-Fi networks by the Fall 2014 semester, according to Campus Technology Services (CTS) director Bill Junor. “We’ve been talking about it long enough,” said Junor. “A lot of people have complained that we need Wi-Fi.” $1.5 million was granted by Purchase’s administration for the project’s budget, the same amount that first gave the academic buildings a wireless Internet connection. CTS suggested the plans to the administration, and independent contractors hired by the school are to install roughly 600 wireless access points throughout the buildings over the summer. Increasingly popular devices like MacBook tablets, iPads and others that aren’t compatible with Ethernet ports and can only
7 THE LOAD
connect via wi-fi. These require wireless routers to receive Wi-Fi, which are not provided by CTS. Giving an Internet connection to users of these devices is the “rationale” of the installation plans, the director said. “It’s better customer service and better curriculum,” said Barbara Moore, a CTS staff member. Students with computers that can’t connect with Ethernet can only go to the library or an academic building for Internet connection or get a router. Similar developments occurred last summer, when 180 wireless access points were upgraded in the academic buildings and 45 were installed in Fort Awesome, making it the only residence hall with building-wide Wi-Fi access. The Dining Hall also received wireless access. Crossroads, Big Haus, Far Side, the Commons, the Olde and Alumni
Village all will have it by next semester in accordance with the school’s plan. Unsurprisingly, students seem to view a new available Wi-Fi network as a positive thing. “Ethernet is so annoying,” said Ashley Sukhdeo, a junior economics major at Purchase. “I’m really happy we’re going to get wi-fi.” Noah Offitzer, a freshman visual arts student, was also pleased. “[Ethernet cords] don’t stay in the wall or the laptop and you always have to adjust them. “Why would I not be happy about it?” Offitzer said. Students that are curious about the installation plans can speak to CTS faculty at its office in the basement of Social Sciences or call (914) 251-6465 to inquire.
dear adviser
ask.fm/the_adviser
Dear Adviser, I’m currently a freshman, and never been kissed or been on a date. I’m pretty self-conscious about my lack of sexual experience. I mean, this is college we’re talking about here. As far as I’ve noticed, all anyone wants to do is have random drunk hook ups with each other. I’m tired of having my virginity. Should I force myself into a one-night-stand just so I can get it over with? What are your thoughts on my situation? Is it weird that I’ve never so much as had a first kiss? -Never Been Kissed Dear Never Been Kissed, Your situation is not unique! I promise that there are other people on this planet (and even at this school!) that have also never been sexual with another person. And you know, It’s okay that you haven’t. I think that there’s a problem when you start saying you might force yourself to do something. To the adviser, that makes it sound like you’re not actually comfortable with the idea. You should always do what you feel comfortable with rather than something you feel pressured into! If you want to have sex with someone, then you have my utmost support in doing it. Just remember to be safe! If you decide that maybe a random hook up isn’t for you, then I also support you in that decision. It’s your body and your choice every single time. Even for something as small as a kiss. You’re a beautiful and perfectly normal lady/ gentlemen. Don’t feel like you’re worth less than you’re worth based on sexual experience. It has no measure compared to who you are and what
you make of yourself. Whatever choice you make, I’m sure it will be the right one for you. -The Adviser Dear Adviser, I think that one of my best friends might have an eating disorder. She’s a bigger girl and she’s been trying to lose weight. Our close mutual friends have recently asked me about it in confidence. I tried talking to her about it briefly when we were alone together, but she just denied it and laughed. I really care about her, and I’ve noticed how little she eats. How can I approach the topic? Or should I not? -Worried Friend Dear Worried Friend, I think you need to approach this delicately. You should approach her about it alone and in person, but don’t be brief this time around. Let her know that you’ve been noticing her eating habits and that you think she might have a problem. Saying something along the lines of, “I’m only approaching you about this because I really care for you and love you. Are you okay? Have you been intentionally eating less? Because, if you are, I want to support you and show you how beautiful you are.” You could also offer to help her lose weight in a healthy way, and be her work-out partner. Let her know that you are a support system even when she feels like she has no one else. I hope it all works out for her and you. -The Adviser
ZOMBIE PROM
4/5/14
ANDREW W.K ANTWON STARCHILD & THE NEW ROMANTIC ON MAIN STAGE DRAG SHOW IN WHITSON’S SPONSERD BY LGBTQU SCARY-OKE IN THE CINEMA & MORE INFO TO COME
8 MARCH 2014
THE PURCHASE SCHOLAR:
tHE LIFE AND LEGACY OF ROY NEUBERGER By Ariana Cuadra The Neuberger Museum of Art is a cultural gem of Westchester County and an enormous source of pride for Purchase College, but how much do you know about its history or its illustrious founder Roy Neuberger? Roy Rothschild Neuberger has left behind a distinguished legacy in the arts and business worlds. Besides the Neuberger Museum, pieces of his vast personal collection can be found in over 70 institutions across 24 states. At the incredible age of 103, his long term dedication to the arts community earned him a National Medal of Arts in 2007. His influence in the contemporary art world was tremendous. Director of the Neuberger Museum Paola Morsiani said that Neuberger’s patronage of contemporary artists, “set a model much like the early philanthropists like Andrew Carnegie who founded the entire library system in the United States.” The Neuberger Museum opened in 1974 with an original donation of 108 pieces from Neuberger’s personal collection. Neuberger would donate over 900 additional works to the permanent collection of the museum over the course of his life. Artists amongst the collection include the likes of Jackson Pollock, Georgia O’Keeffe, Edward Hopper, David Smith and Milton Avery. The museum now holds over 6,000 works in modern, contemporary and African art. Neuberger was born in Bridgeport, Conn. in 1903 and at age six he moved with his family to New York City where he resided for the next 101 years. He was orphaned at the age of 12 when his father tragically passed away just three years after his mother. As a young adult Neuberger attended New York University for just one year before dropping out. In 1922 he began working at B. Altman & Co and at night he took classes in painting. According to Neuberger’s son, Jim Neuberger, he realized after six months that he was never going to be a great artist. However this would not be the end of his love affair with the arts, in fact it was just the very beginning. A voracious reader his entire life, two particular novels were cathartic to a young Roy Neuberger. At age 20, he read The Forsyte Saga by John Galsworthy which inspired him to move to Paris. It was there in 1928 that Neuberger first realized
9 THE LOAD
his desire to become a patron of the arts after reading Vincent van Gogh’s biography, written by Florence Fels. Van Gogh’s tragic life story is a prime example of the necessity for art patronage. During his lifetime, van Gogh allegedly sold just one single painting. In believing himself a failure and in desperate poverty, van Gogh committed suicide in 1890 at age 37. Neuberger vowed to help change the fate of living artists by purchasing as much art from them as possible and championing their work. Neuberger was living a luxurious life in Paris thanks to the inheritance of his late father. However he knew he needed greater wealth to make his patronage dream a reality. He was drawn to the fever of Wall Street and in 1929 started as a runner for Halle & Steiglitz. He would be one of just a handful of people to directly experience the three major stock market crises in 1929, 1987 and 2008. A month after the stock market crash that caused the Great Depression he visited the Phillips Gallery in Washington. He asked to meet with Phillips, who became something of a mentor to the 26 year old Neuberger. A year later he met his future wife of 65 years, Marie Salant, who had worked at Halle & Steiglitz with him. He survived the Black Tuesday crash and lost just 15% of his investments. This great fortune, due to a brilliant prediction, would allow him to found the incredibly prosperous investment firm Neuberger & Berman in 1939 with his partner Robert Berman. It was that same year that he made his first important purchase, a painting named Boy from the Plains, by Peter Hurd. He would later lend this painting to his friend and fellow art enthusiast Nelson A. Rockefeller to take on a travelling exhibition of American art that would prove to bring exposure to Hurd’s work. Nelson Rockefeller would not only go on to become governor of New York from 1959-1973, he also founded the SUNY university system. Rockefeller eventually played a vital role in the conception and execution of the Neuberger Museum at Purchase College. By 1944 Neuberger’s collection had grown to around 20 paintings, including artists such as Milton Avery and Stuart Davis. A gallery showing of his collection to cultural authorities from the Museum of Modern Art
inspired him to continue collecting contemporary art. His collection during the 1950s and 1960s absolutely skyrocketed. Paola Morsiani said that, “It is very rare that people accumulate so many pieces…he was an avid collector, and at that time it was even more rare than it is now.” Neuberger was in the habit of always buying more than one piece from an artist, with the intention of supporting their livelihood. Neuberger became a pillar of the art community at a vital period. “As the art world expanded and galleries were opening in New York he was a very crucial part in how the system became active,” said Morsiani. “As he was buying he was also creating a taste around contemporary art and creating trends,” but that most importantly his “first and foremost interest was to support the artist, and he simply loved what he was doing.” In 1969 Governor Nelson Rockefeller asked him to donate his collection to New York State to be installed in a new museum to be built in Neuberger’s name. They agreed and the Neuberger Museum was established. They chose the architect Philip Johnson to design the building, and in 1974 the museum opened its doors to the public. Roy Neuberger lived a full and fascinating life right up to the miraculous age of 107, when he passed away on Christmas Eve of 2010. He is survived by a daughter, two sons, seven grandchildren, and over 30 great-grandchildren. The dream he first had in Paris over 80 years ago lives on in the halls of his museum right here at Purchase College, and we are part of his legacy. Thank you Roy Neuberger for bringing the glory of fine art to our campus, we cherish your memory. Visiting hours at the Neuberger Museum are from Tuesday-Sunday, 12 p.m.-5 p.m. Admission is free to all Purchase students, faculty and staff. Biographical information courtesy of a slideshow presentation by Jim Neuberger, A Life Well Lived, available at http://www.royrneuberger.com/
Photo from the-craftsman-ale-house.com
A BREWERY NEAR YOU!
The Crafstman Ale House, 235 Harrison Ave, Harrison NY
By Alyssa Spizzirro
Peekskill Brewery 47-53 South Water St., Peekskill, NY
The City of Peekskill is a culturally diverse, artistic and historically rich location. Bob Saget and the Beach Boys have performed at the Paramount Theatre, so it’s practically sacred ground. There’s a candy store, I didn’t even know those existed. There are so many other wonderful landmarks in Peekskill, the day could be turned into a lengthy social outing. The brewery is right by the Peekskill train station, so it’s accessible if you can navigate public transportation. The brewery is an impressive structure: it’s a renovated warehouse, with two floors open to the public. To access the Pub upstairs, one must take an industrial-sized elevator or the stairs. There is a gorgeous wooden bar to one side of the room with some tall bar tables that serve as a level of separation from those in the dining area. The Pub’s menu has more selection and finer dining. The Tap Room on the bottom floor has a bit of a different atmosphere. It’s open seating, spacious, definitely gets packed on weekends. One of the best times to go is from 4-7 p.m. on Mondays-Fridays during happy hours when they have $5 pints. Their beer is liquid bliss. It can be purchased by the growler (and you can refill those). My favorite brew is the Amazeballs. I originally ordered it for the name, because why not. They hosts a bunch of events. I’ve never been to one, but I’m 100 percent that they are awesome.
The Craftsman Ale House 235 Harrison Ave, Harrison, NY
This place is actually so awesome. It’s across the street from the train station, but it’s also super close to campus so you could drive. Parking in Harrison is hit or miss, but there’s a municipal lot with two hours of free parking right across the street. Every
Friday night they do a “tap takeover,” which means that a specific brewery takes over all eight of their taps. That Saturday they do a “kill the keg” and proceed to drain the beers of said brewery. Their draft selection rotates pretty regularly because of this. They will fill growlers, which is cool because you can get a growler filled with craft beer (some of which I’ve never heard of). They have beers in cans, and on their drink list one heading is “Sour/Funky,” while another includes a list of ciders, meads, and gluten free products. The bartender’s name was Teal, and she was very cute and nice. Depending on the day and time, the atmosphere will vary.
Plan B Burger Bar 230 Tresser Boulevard, Stamford, CT
I was a skeptic initially, mainly because the place is named after emergency contraception. Plan B is a small chain with quality, 100 percent Verified Humane beef. The food is absolutely fantastic and the staff is really nice/young/hip. It’s located literally right next to the Stamford mall, the Barnes & Noble is next door. There is garage parking. There’s a dining room and a bar with more dining space and bar seating. There are these light fixtures with modeled to look like an unidentifiable industrial looking utility tool. I’ve spent a fair amount of time here and heard so much Weezer and Sum 41 that I changed the lyrics in my AIM profile. Plan B has an intimidating bourbon selection, wonderful cocktails, and a fantastic variety of beers. They even serve beer in a can, which is kind of excellent. Their draft selection varies weekly. They have a late night menu, so you can get sliders at 1 a.m. if your little heart so desires.
Captain Lawrence Brewery
444 Saw Mill River Rd. Elmsford, NY
Captain Lawrence is an extremely successful beer distributor with an excellent product. However, this isn’t a fantastic place to thoroughly enjoy your beer drinking experience. The latest they pour until is 8 p.m., and that’s only Wednesday through Friday (they’re open on weekends too though). If you do want to go on a tour, they have times available online for when that will occur. You can spend an afternoon in the tasting room. There are keg request forms you can fill out online incase you want to have a classy craft beer party. The novelty of picking up your keg from the location that it was brewed makes me reminiscent of old American values I’ve only heard fables of. There are so many strong points to this brewery, but for a college human who is looking to socialize this may not be my top choice. It would make for a very cool date or something, I don’t know. If you’re really into beer, you should actually go here for the value of the experience.
The Yard House 237 Market Street, Yonkers, NY
The Yard House is located in a very large bourgeoisie outdoor mall, Ridge Hill. There’s a Whole Foods and a really comfortable movie theatre, amongst other things. They have the biggest beer selection ever. Period. It’s a chain, so you won’t get buybacks, or anything like that. The food is okay, and there’s a pretty large menu. The reason it makes the list is because the selection is phenomenal and vast. There’s an option of getting a half-yard glass of beer, which is exactly what you think it is. They have a monthly “Chalkboard Series” of draft beers, which are hand picked. There’s an option of a “sampler six pack,” which is selected by the type of brew. This isn’t one of the best places ever, but it’s not the worst.
10 MARCH 2014
STUDENT LIFE CALENDAR WED 3/12
WPSR Open Mic @ Whitson’s in The Stood
OAPIA Foreplay Party @ Main Stage in The Stood
FRI 3/14
SAT 3/15
Charly Bliss @ The Cinema SOCA’s Sextacy @ The Stood
SUN 3/16
A Night of Shakespeare @ Whitson’s
WED 3/19
Robyn Ochs speaks @ The Cinema in The Stood
Keep track of the Student Events Calendar at tinyurl.com/purchaseevents 11 THE LOAD
THU 3/13
OAPIA’s “ABC” Party @ The Stood, Psymon Spine , Oface, Russel The Lea @ The Cinema Toasted Plastic @ Whitson’s Microgrant dinner @ The Forum Art Space
Tue 3/18 Queer Open Mic @ Whitson’s in The Stood
WHAT’S POPPIN’
DURING THE MONTH OF
MARCH
WEEKLY CLUB MEETINGS MON
TUES
wed
FENCING Small Gym @2:10 PM
HISTORY CLUB Library 0014 @4:30PM
HILLEL Basement of CCN
(& THURSDAY)
FORTH Nat Sci @8PM THE PHOENIX The Journalism Suite @8PM THE SUBMISSION CCN 0025 @9:30PM HIP HOP CCN 0016 @10PM
TEA CLUB CCN Near The Hub @7PM THE LOAD CCN 0025 @9PM COMPLEXUALITY The Commuters Lounge @10PM LU CCN 0016 @10PM
@12:30PM
SNEAK PEEK FOR APRIL
ANIME CLUB Commuters Lounge @8PM
4/2 OPEN MIC
LGBTQU Fort Awesome @10PM
4/2 CULTURE SHOCK ANNOUNCEMENT @ THE CINEMA
SOCA CCN 0016 @ 10PM
4/3 THE NAKED ISSUE PHOTO SHOOT @ THE CINEMA 4/3 STRIPTEASE @ THE CINEMA 4/5 ZOMBIE PROM @ THE STOOD 12 MARCH 2014
SCHEDULE 5:00 6:00 7:00
Sun mon tue wed thu NOTHING SWEET
1-on-1 interview series hosted by Patrick J. Mitchell
BAD FAITH
Hosted by Brendan Szendro and John Stephen.
FIRST FULL EXPOSURE
ROASTED THOUGHTS
DOUBLE SPACED
FREE WEED
9:00
WPSR SUNDAY NIGHT SPECIAL
10:00
SOFT BLANKET
VITAL MIXTAPES FOR YOUR EVERY DAY LIFE
Hosted by Jack Tomascak
8:00
Hosted by Jason Mandel
Hosted by the Yalaju twins
11:00 12:00
BIG OTHER
THE AMANDA SHOW
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XANAX CATS DAN COHN’S THEME TIME RADIO HOUR KBMC AFTER DARK
FARSIDE EVENING REPORT
TIME PASSAGES
SOILED IT!
THE TIME WARPED HOUR
VITAMIN PARTY
BOHEMIAN LIKE YOU
CAN YA’ NOT?
K.T ON THE RADIO
EVERYONE ALIVE WANTS ANSWERS
THE SPIRIT OF BERNIE MAC
MYSTERIOUS GIRL HARDCOUR HOUR
BANGERS WITH ROSS PANNEBECKER
ESPRESSO OWLS
LATE NIGHT W/ RIVKA LIPKIN
NORTH WESTERN
THE REAL: WITH EBONY JONES
WEDNESDAY’S @ MIDNIGHT
THE FAKE SHOW: W/ JOHN BRUSH
Hosted by Matt Lee
Hosted by Matthew, Kathleen, and Alexa
EARGASM
Hosted by Professor Dani G.
Hosted by Emily Pahl
ACTIVISM 101
Hosted by NYPIRG
Hosted by
fri NOSTALGIA PUNCH AWESOME SHOW DOS CARGOS HOWARD STERN’S PENIS
Hosted by Terrence and KT
SPECTRAL CITADEL
Hosted by Aimee and Lilly
SCHEDULE MONDAYS
TUESDAYS
WEDNESDAYS
TWO BROADS TALK ABOUT MUSIC
GALACTIC SCUM WITH BOBA FETT
THE BEAT PRESENTS
Two girls who appreciate each and every decade, relive the pop culture of the past @9:00PM
While stuck in the Sarlacc Pit, Boba Fett bides his time hunting for and discussing the best films and disintegrating the worst with his two friends. “I couldn’t imagine a better way to continue his story,” says George Lucas. @8:30PM
CAMPUS MEDIUM
Luigi DeBoard loves your dead loved ones. He’s the best medium, or “dead-person-communicator,” around and he’s come to Purchase to talk to YOUR dead people who have died. Thanks. @11:00PM
JAMES LIPTON AND ALL HIS LITTLE ACTING FRIENDS
Take a knee off, gang, and enjoy our favorite Hollywood pals shootin’ the shrimp about their wacky lives. Join host Chris Murphy and a different actor every week as they voice over an episode of Inside the Actor’s Studio live in this half-hour improv exercise. @11:30PM
The Beat Presents, is a music talk show hosted by Cyndi Harder brought to you by Purchase students. It showcases Purchase College musicians and is the visual aspect of The Beat magazine. @9:00PM
Grammatically Incorrect
A talk show where students discuss life, the universe, and upcoming events. Oh, and anyone who makes a grammatical error gets punished @9:30PM
14 MARCH 2014
Rough Secs Club To Compete In Adobe Design Contest By Ryan Brady Purchase’s Rough Secs Motion Graphics Club is participating in the 2014 Adobe Design Achievement Awards, a global contest for Adobe software-based art made by higher education students. The highest awards are free software, a $5,000 cash prize and an invitation to the 2014 Adobe MAX software conference in Los Angeles. “We’re submitting a reel of the best moments from the animations that people made,” said Jennifer Brent, the club’s president. Brent and her lieutenants create five-second Adobe Flash motion graphics and animation shorts according to prompts she assigns, such as “strange moments at Purchase College” and “a dream that you had.” The group, staffed by Professor Robin Lynch, draws at least six people to its weekly meetings in the Visual Arts building. Entries for the ADAA are categorically divided; Rough Secs’ work falls under the Motion and Video Segment. Its entry will be one of thousands submitted by students from around the world in both individual and group
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categories. “There’s a very strong chance of winning,” said Lynch, who teaches motion graphics and typography. “They’ve produced remarkable and unique work.” Two years ago, one of Lynch’s students entered the ADAA on her professor’s recommendation to become a semifinalist. Brent founded the club with Patrick Fennessy last semester and she succeeded him as its leader after he graduated. Fennessy began conceptualizing Rough Secs after discovering a London-based animation group called Full Secs, the website of which had policy of accepting work by anyone that submitted it. (Rough Secs’ name alludes to this group and to the rule used by both groups that each piece submitted by members must be five-seconds long.) “Motion graphics is a very broad term that can encompass any variety of motion medium, like film, video art and GIF art,” Fennessy said. “We wanted to give anyone who has an interest in or outside the VA an opportunity to join a small, creative community.”
“We have intentions on displaying the reel to students for promotion of the club, regardless of the competition,” said Brianne Malloy, a sophomore graphic design major. “We are absolutely submitting the reel with winning as our goal, however, it will be hard to be disappointed with any result because of how much fun we have with this kind of work.” Submissions are accepted by the ADAA from both individual students and groups of students using the software; there are different prizes for each. The sole requirements for participation are personally being at least 18 years of age and enrolled at a recognized institute of higher education. The only requirement for the work is that it be created on Adobe Creative Cloud software. Many of the Rough Secs motion-videos are viewable on its tumblr page. Non-visual arts students are encouraged to go to Rough Secs meetings. Work sent to Rough Secs before the ADAA’s June 21 deadline could still be entered into the submission reel. Check out the Rouch Secs tumblr page at: www.ruffsecs.tumblr.com
ONE YEAR. TWO COACHES By Stefan Olivia As is usually the case with In trying to attain that, certain things programs, first-year Purchase had a were overlooked. rough start in its debut of the women’s lacrosse team in the Spring of 2013. The Panthers did not tally a win last season, but navigated around the typical bumps in the road and started the building blocks for the future. Part of that transition now includes a coaching overhaul. While managing the newly formed squad, former Head Coach Devon Whalen was also at the helm for the women’s soccer team. “It’s not easy to build a team when they are a brand new varsity program and they’re expected to compete with teams that have been around for a very long time,” said Francesca DeLorenzo, the current head coach and Assistant Athletic Director, who replaced Whalen at the end of last season. The transition from the administrative side of athletics to coaching will be almost seamless for DeLorenzo. “I’ve had the same responsibilities at my previous job, I was the Assistant Athletic Director and the head women’s lacrosse coach at [Mercy College], so I’m very used to that,” she said. It is no burden, however. “I almost felt that last year, when I wasn’t coaching, something was missing, so I’m happy to have the additional responsibility,” added DeLorenzo. But before the change in coaches occurred, Whalen set her sights on guiding her team to its first win.
“The steps were never really fulfilled or talked about,” said LeiAnna Frazier, a senior midfielder. “Like trust in each other and developing relationships off the field.” Last season, of course, was labeled a work in progress. While playing highly ranked teams like Montclair State doesn’t help, DeLorenzo’s assistant coaches have emphasized kinship and positivity. DeLorenzo has appointed two new assistants to her bench as Purchase continues to take steps forward. “We have been stressing how important it is to support one another on and off the field and I expect them to understand that as the season goes along,” said Trich Molfetta, one of the first-year assistant coaches at Purchase. Molfetta also took the field as an undergrad at SUNY Stony Brook, so she is ready to make the transition from standout player to coach, something DeLorenzo has done as well. “Coaching brings very different challenges than playing and I’m excited to learn and overcome them with coach DeLorenzo and coach [Jackie] Craig,” said Molfetta. Whalen also had a similar transition, going from playing on a Division I soccer team to coaching a Division III squad. The team is excited to have an experienced coaching staff in place, led by DeLorenzo, a former star player at Marist.
“I think that Francesca will be a lot more encouraging and give us better strategies as to how to win,” said Samantha Rich, a sophomore midfielder. She had 22 goals last season and is hoping to expand that to 50 by the end of this spring, but she has her mind set on something else. “That’s obviously not as important as playing as a team and working together to get wins together,” said Rich. To help the process along, she has given DeLorenzo her seal of approval. “She started the [lacrosse] program at Mercy, so she knows first and second year teams and how to encourage them even when it’s hard and it’s frustrating,” Rich said. With a renewed sense of confidence and collective effort, the Panthers are looking to learn from their mistakes and take the positives with them. The coaching staff is trying to incorporate the basics of lacrosse, unite the team in terms of talent and teach the players a thing or two about respect. “I think that it gets overlooked sometimes,” said DeLorenzo. “But to me, in athletics, that’s one of the most important things, having respect for yourself, but also for the people you’re playing the game with.” DeLorenzo said that Whalen, “laid a good foundation and now it’s up to me to kind of step us up a little bit.”
16 MARCH 2014
Photos by Max Russell
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COVER SHOW
18 MARCH 2014
FENCING CLUB NEEDS YOUR HELP Hi everyone, we are the SUNY Purchase Classical Fencing Club. You’ve probably seen our sexy members practicing French & Italian foil, Italian & Spanish rapier, and Northern & Southern Italian dueling sabre, among many other styles. Believe it or not, SUNY Purchase is home to one of the few classical fencing clubs in existence. Every year, the Association for Historical Fencing and Palm Beach Classical Fencing holds an open tournament in the West Palm Beach area. And every year, the SUNY Purchase Fencing Club tries to send as many members as possible. We, the sexy club members, are asking you, the even sexier student body, to help send us there.Your contributions will help to cover travel expenses, which we desperately need! We have set up an Indiegogo page to make donating as easy and painless as possible. Needless to say, you will be compensated in one way or another for your donation. Rewards range from a personalized “Thank You” card, to having a weapon named after you or even a one-on-one lesson with Provost Jared Kirby. If you can’t contribute, don’t worry we still love you. All we ask is that you spread the word as much as possible. Tell your neighbors, your professors, your rich aunts and uncles (we highly recommend that one), pretty much anyone you can think of! We will also be hosting a Student vs. Alumni Tournament on March 15 starting at noon. Please feel free to stop by, catch up with old friends, ask some questions or even donate some more money! http://igg.me/p/689009
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SPORTS EVENT WELL ATTENDEd TEAM STILL IN SHOCK BY MIKE CRONIN “We went into the gym and there were all these people sitting in there already. It was creepy. What were they doing there?” -Dan Wright, Basketball Player. This past week, the Panthers thought they were heading into another basketball game, but they were wrong. This one was different: people would be watching this one. “It was unsettling. There were all these people sitting there. Just...watching us. We’ve never had this before,” remarked senior Alex Thompson. Indeed, head coach Thomas Winchester had to sit the team down and explain the concept of spectators. “You know how you watch games on TV?” he asked the worried faces looking back at him. “This is just like that, except you’re not on the couch, you are the TV.” The game was off to a rocky start, having to stop whenever the crowd made any noise and scared the players. “We were just playing the game when all of a sudden we heard this screaming sound behind us, coach says those are called ‘cheers,’” said a still shaken Dean Murphy, another senior on the team. Sports analyst Calvin Reed wasn’t surprised by the reaction.
“You see this a lot at arts schools,” he explained as he looked over the game’s footage on his laptop. “Eventually the schools realize they can make a lot of money from alumni with games, so they start advertising. But that sudden attention can be jarring on a player.” Junior Dan Wright seemed to adjust quickest to the change of surroundings, saying it seemed some how “familiar.” His eyes looked off, trying to recall a distant memory. “I...feel like I saw people at my high school games but... It’s been so long, I always thought my mind was just playing tricks on me.” UPDATE: After investigation, it was revealed that the crowd was only there since they thought there would be a circus class performance. Having little to no experience in sports and a high tolerance for the Avant-Garde, it took the Purchase students in the audience the whole game to realize they had not in fact witnessed an arts event. Several took to their blogs afterwards to voice their complaints.
Photo by Stephanie Knipe
UP YOURS 2014 By Nina Braca
If you weren’t at The Stood on February 22, you missed out on FORTH’s first festival highlighting female-identifying artists and musicians. It brought a huge turnout and major girl-power vibes that The Stood desperately needed. “In our society, [those who aren’t] white cisgender males often don’t have a space to feel safe,” said Stephanie Knipe, who planned the fest. “So this event is meant to enable these groups to reclaim their space.” The aim of Up Yours was to change the Stood from a male-dominated space, and let different types of people to feel comfortable in the Stood. “This fest is really important in an outsider point of view, where it will educate others about feminism and feminist theory and safer spaces through workshops and music,” Knipe said. Saturday brought together a wide variety of talented non-white
cisgender performers and artists including acoustic acts, full band performances, workshops, art and vendors. Purchase welcomed bands and artists from all over, with the “Safe Space Policy” (adopted from Ladyfest Philly, an activism, music and arts festival) which asks all who attended to be respectful of peoples boundaries and be mindful of language and actions. “It is so great to come to a place where everyone has a consistently positive attitude,” said Dre Szegedy-Maszak, drummer of Jawbreaker Reunion, who played Up Yours and also sold handmade patches. Having Up Yours be compiled of solely female-identifying and non-male acts, FORTH is hoping that this will inspire all different kinds of performers and artists to feel safe not only performing, but also attending The Stood. “We want to take up as much space in the Stood as possible
and force people to recognize and celebrate the talents of women and queer artists,” said FORTH President, Gerard Guy Davis. Victoria Ruiz, who performed in Downtown Boys, said, “At the end of the day there are [so many] self identifying male bros that take up too much space and power in this world.” She added that people need to be more inclusive of every type of person. The atmosphere of Up Yours was one that hasn’t been matched in a long time. According to Madeline, drummer of Tomboy, “Making space for musicians who are not straight white males aims to challenge the stereotype that punk/rock is a man’s realm. Having another fest with just dudes would be a total bore.” wUp Yours was anything but a total bore. With eight hours of constant positive vibes and inspiration, Purchase will be begging for another Up Yours next year.
20 MARCH 2014
JAMS WITH JAN Ray Chalmé currently has two solo projects going on, Fuck Pigs and Warm Tape. Fuck Pigs is a noisy, experimental project that I urge you to see live if you’re into having an ultra introspective sound experience. Warm Tape is a newer ambient project that I’m really excited to hear.
Jan: When did you first get into noise? Ray: Even though it’s not necessarily noise, I got
into noise and drone music in the same way. There’s this album by this guy who operates under the moniker Infinite Body – he released a record on Post Present Medium which is Dean Spunt’s, the drummer from No Age, label. It came out in 2009 and it was one of the most eccentric releases I had heard up until that point. The opening track is six minutes of the same chord being played and just tweaking the parameters. It’s very loud. It doesn’t resolve in a song structure at any point and every piece has this long form thing going on. It repeats, and with every repetition something new is added. It’s layered. Steve Reich is a favorite composer of mine. His techniques, his fazing that allows acoustic instruments to sound like electric instruments that follow these weird structures. This one piece, “Music for 18 Musicians,” would just take on all of these different forms. It sounded like no neoclassical piece I have ever heard. It was really interesting. I bought a DL-4 delay pedal the first semester of sophomore year. I initially used it for guitar…let me backtrack a second. I bought a cassette deck from salvo for five dollars and I bought “Bitches Brew” by Miles Davis and I put it in the cassette deck which had a little microphone input. While it was playing, I was meandering and saying a bunch of dumb things over it. It got me thinking – what if I took this DL-4 that I got and put a microphone in to it to see what happens. I started looping my voice and saying Keenan Humphrey’s name. It started “The Ballad of Keenan Humphrey,” which was the first Fuck Pigs song. I remember that Greg Rutkin asked me to play an open for Morrison Brook. I didn’t have anything recorded, he just knew that I was doing a noisy thing. I played ‘The Ballad of Keenan Humphrey,” covered a Suicide song, and did Frankie Teardrop. People either didn’t really hate it or were really interested in it. I wore a fancy shirt and had a megaphone. There were a lot of squeals. I played on a riser on the other side of the room. It was very disorienting and a nonstandard performance. I guess that from there I was like, “I’m doing noise. That’s a thing.”
Jan: What noise are you into right now? Ray: I’m taking this class – electroacoustic music
with Du Yun. For the course material provided, it’s a lot of the classic noise artists like Iannis Xenakis and those guys that were around doing it before it was a
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By Janet Katsnelson
thing. It’s very daunting stuff. Listening to noise now – it relies a lot more on the punk ethos. Back then, it was the classical ethos. I don’t really know who my top noise artist would be. It’s not something I’m necessarily like, “yeah I’m gonna put this on.” It’s like I can go to the movie theater and see The Lego Movie – which was great by the way – or I can go to a museum and see a 16-minute outsider art piece. They’re both films, but they serve different purposes. I guess the context in which I take them in is different. I don’t know if I have an artist I prefer, but I like the movement. That being said, there is this guy from Texas that I got turned onto from one of my old roommates called B-Nazdy and what he does is, I describe it as leaving an mp3 in your hot car for too long. He’ll remix songs, but remix is used so lightly because literally what he does is bastardize these pop songs and change the tempo and repeat structures where you think they won’t be repeated. He fucks with the normal conventions of a pop song. By that notion he’s creating noise out of pop, which is cool.
Jan: Tell me about Warm Tape. Ray: Ever since that Infinite Body record, I also got
really into ambient drone music. There had always been these moments that I find in music that I listened to that kind of provided this frissoned reaction. There were all of these times in music – listening to music in high school or middle school, even elementary school on the bus to camp – there were these certain elements that would trigger this wide eyed goosebumped amazement. I wasn’t sure what brought that out until I heard this album. It was these extended passages and long, swelling chords that brought it out. Looking back, seeing those elements in pop structure I’d be like, “Oh I really like this part” but could never really place it. When I found out what it was and was able to isolate it, it kind of went on from there. I tried to find more artists. I went on last.fm and Pandora and dug around, I went on this big music hunt. I wanted to try to recreate it because it meant a lot to me.
Jan: Both projects are solo projects that sound different, but from what you’re saying, are rooted from the same appeal. Are the processes different?
Ray: Pretty much what happened was I came to the
point that I wanted to differentiate. Fuck Pigs had come to the point where it was the harsh noise thing that was me screaming into a microphone. I wanted to provide an antithesis to that. The hope was to categorize this to other people. If you’re into this, take this. If you’re into that, take that. The process; both are improvised. Even within improvisation, there isn’t any one method. Something I have started doing is using this digital recorder I bought, and recording everything I play so I can take out segments and see how it works and fits within the context of what I’m
doing.
Jan: What do you think about when you’re improvising?
Ray: Sometimes before a Fuck Pigs show – I’ve
never had a Warm Tape show but I imagine that’ll be somewhat more rehearsed – I’ll take out my phone and open up a notepad and write down things I think I want to do. I’m gonna repeat this thing, make the loop half time and reverse it, do this thing, swell out, learn this cover very poorly, stuff like that. Once I bought that DL-4 and was able to loop things, it was really nice because I can suspend something in time. I have a freeze pedal that sustains indefinitely. Both are really good tools for improvisation. Pause things. Spit out whatever is on my mind. Pause things. End it when it seems like I’ve been going on for too long.
Jan: Do you feel like Fuck Pigs has changed from when it started? Ray: I definitely feel like it has. I kind of regret
changing. I started it with this idea in my freshmen year. I saw Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt, one of the greatest live acts I’ve seen. He went here and was the general programmer. He has this thing where he tries to immerse his audience and gets as ridiculous and fun as he can. The first time I saw him I crowd surfed in a spider suit. We went underneath a parachute and sang songs about love. He had this giant Hulk hand with a bunch of disco balls strapped to it. He’s singing songs about John Delate calling a snow day. It’s literally the most love letter to Purchase type thing I could imagine. It psyched me up for school and is probably why I’m so involved now. I saw the potential for how events could happen. I kind of wanted to do a terrible version of this without any musicality whatsoever. Which is why Fuck Pigs came out of the apartment we were in. My initial idea was to do a bunch of shows in weird locations. I did a show in the Olde laundry room in the first semester of junior year, during quiet hours. I was wearing a hot dog suit playing beats out of Game Boy built in DJ system and sticking my head into a laundry machine, screaming until my throat was raw. I like the idea of the guerilla performance, these weird this-could-only-happen-here things. Now that I’m more “established,” if you could even say that, and that I have a tape out. I’m this serious brooding noise man and I don’t know how I feel about that. Now that I have Warm Tape I might try to leave the serious brooding shit to that and try to change Fuck Pigs back to what it was. I tried to do that on PTV. I invited a bunch of people to wear costumes and I told a bunch of terrible jokes, there were glow sticks and things. At the end of the day, at its core, that performance is a subpar rip off of Terror Pigeon Dance Revolt. I’m fine with that. We need more parties in music. Everyone is really serious in indie rock, and that needs to change.
ladies PLAYLIST By Janet Katsnelson
March 8th is known as International Women’s Day. It originated in the early 1900’s and is celebrated differently all over the world. To learn more about it, you can go to www. internationalwomensday.com. Here’s a list of super strong ladies that make super awesome/fun/empowering music. BELIEVE CHER TRICK PONY CHARLOTTE GAINSBOURG REASONS TO BE BEAUTIFUL HOLE FUCK AND RUN LIZ PHAIR JUST A GIRL NO DOUBT
IRREPLACEABLE BEYONCE DAS ME BROOKE CANDY QUEEN BITCH LIL KIM DANCING ON MY OWN ROBYN CREEP TLC
LOOSE LIPS KIMYA DAWSON
ON & ON MISSY ELLIOTT
BAD MAN’S WORLD JENNY LEWIS
BULLETPROOF LA ROUX
COMPLICATED AVRIL LAVIGNE
22 MARCH 2014
An Evening with Greg Sestero A sea of red book covers stretched across the laps of nearly everyone in the Choral Hall as we waited for the film to start. Even at $25, students shelled out for a chance to read “The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room,” an exposé into the making of the lightning in a bottle cult classic “The Room” written by Greg Sestero aka Mark. After nearly 10 minutes of “Twitch Plays Pokémon” amped the crowd up, the screening began. The screening was a half-hour companion documentary directed by Sestero. He managed to track down cast and crew members who all recounted the surreal experience of working with the enigmatic writer-director-producer-star, Tommy Wiseau. Each cast member, from Juliette Danielle as love interest Lisa to Carolyn Minnott as her mother Claudette, took their turns recounting Wiseau’s earnest desire to make a movie disintegrate from a pure lack of filmmaking talent. The documentary was intercut with footage from the film itself, which the crowd responded to with “Rocky Horror Picture Show” levels of enthusiasm. As the screening ended, Sestero entered the sweltering Choral Hall to resounding fanfare; wearing a grey
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beanie and the bleach white driving jacket from “Drive,” complete with tacky scorpion on the back. He spoke in a relaxed yet confident affect, breaking into an accent every time Wiseau was mentioned. Sestero read a chapter from his book that an audience member threw to him (he didn’t have a copy) involving getting dinner with Wiseau at a fancy restaurant where he stole another group’s reservation and insisted on ordering a “glass of hot water.” He nailed every punchline as the crowd rolled with laughter in their seats. An impromptu reading of key scenes from the script of “The Room” followed, with students hopping at the opportunity to play the characters. Even amid the hilarity of missed cues and shoddy stage combat, Sestero admitted that they were “still 1000 times better than the original cast.” Q&A lasted about 20 minutes longer than it should have, with fans eager to know the ins and outs of Wiseau; where he came from, his accent, his mentality, etc. I asked whether he enjoyed making “The Room” or another schlock classic “Retro Puppet Master” more, to which he replied that they’re all fun in their own way. Just his way of being nice, I
Photo by Dylan Green
The Disaster Artist:
By Dylan Green suppose. One fan asked an interesting question about whether or not Wiseau realizes the kind of equally mocked and celebrated cult theater event that “The Room” has become. Sestero responded by noting how even though he may have no idea how to make a good movie, it’s the drive that matters. “He had this dream, to make a serious drama, and he went and got it done,” said Sestero. “It may have turned out terribly, but at least he went and did it.” That, and “The Disaster Artist” itself, are indicative of how we of this cult following view “The Room” just over a decade later. Its complete lack of rhyme, reason, logic, or filmmaking know-how brings tears of laughter to our eyes. But at the end of the day, Wiseau’s dream is reality and Sestero and company jump started their own careers as a result. We’re the ones keeping this phenomenon going, and if events like this are any indication, with spoons to throw at the screen and fans eager to ask Sestero about his sex life, the doors of “The Room” will stay open for a very long time.
cinemasai:
THE LEGO MOVIE
By Dylan Green A movie based on one of the most popular building toys of all time sounds like a one hundred minute commercial fishing for nostalgia dollars on paper, doesn’t it? But the fact that “The LEGO Movie,” the third cinematic home run for writing/directing team Phil Lord and Chris Miller, skirts the line between extensive playset pushing and satirical dressing down of its very own existence while still managing to be a funny, beautifully animated, all-around crowd pleaser in its own right is nothing short of miraculous. A little over two months into 2014, we’ve already been treated to one of its best cinematic offerings, animated or otherwise. As much as I want to get back to building as we speak (that Simpsons House set isn’t going to build itself), I’m gonna need to throw up a minor spoiler warning from this point on. I won’t be addressing any portion of it directly, but if you haven’t managed to get to a theater to see this patchwork marvel yet and you’re still reading this sentence, don’t blame me if you infer anything from what I’m about to say. Last chance to turn back... And here we go.
The set-up of “The LEGO Movie” has the anarchic zeal of a goofy Filmmaking 101 final project. Our hero is Emmet (Parks and Recreation’s Chris Pratt), an average construction worker mini figure who follows the instructions (literally the LEGO instruction booklet that comes with his house) with a complacency that borders on psychotic. While poking around his construction site late at night, he stumbles onto an age-old battle between a renegade team of Master Builders, who can build any-
thing out of any spare piece they find, and the orderly tyrant Lord Business (Will Ferrell), who is masquerading as the all-powerful business tycoon and president of the world, President Business. Emmet is revealed to be the “Special,” a chosen one who has found the fabled Piece of Resistance, whose duty it is to use his nonexistent skills as a Master Builder to put a stop to Lord Business and his secret weapon, the Kragle. Emmet sets out to do so with the help of MB’s, including the wizard Vitruvius (Morgan Freeman), the energetic WyldStyle (Elizabeth Banks), and Batman (Will Arnett). It’s revealed early on that Emmet’s hometown of Bricksburg is but one LEGO world that exists in the LEGO Universe at large, complete with different sets including the Old West, ocean worlds, space worlds, and Cloud Cuckoo Land. Lord Business wants to freeze the world perfectly into place with the Kragle (a bottle of Krazy Glue with some of the letters rubbed out) and the race to craft Emmet into a Master Builder is on. It’s yet another movie about a Chosen One with a magical object and a destiny, but Lord and Miller seem to know that, too. Along with the overall conceit of a toy universe continually calling attention to the fact that it’s indeed a universe of toys, “The LEGO Movie” is a deft pop culture satire with its crosshairs focused on Chosen-One action movies like “The Matrix” and actual overblown feature length toy commercials like the “Transformers” franchise. Characters as diverse as DC heroes, LEGO stock figures, and 80s cartoons are all over the place, but Batman in particular is made ripe for a blunt comic dressing down, perfectly cast voice actor Will Arnett hamming up the now well known
Dark Knight variant on the Caped Crusader that’s been done to death for almost a decade now. Emmet’s ultimate goal is given extra weight with a third act turn that gives his actions, and the movie at large no matter how fun and beautiful it is, something that it would’ve been missing otherwise: heart. Trust me. You want this to be a surprise. Its style of animation, completely computer-generated, is made to look like a stop-motion LEGO fan film blown up to cinematic proportions, complete with explosions, smoke clouds, dirt, and even water all depicted with the ubiquitous studs and blocks. The herky-jerky animation juxtaposed with the high-octane action is both visually arresting and seriously funny, playing with the notion that the film is constantly questioning its own existence in a cinematic landscape awash with advertisement disguised as entertainment. A rallying against the misrepresentation of children’s entertainment, or at least supposedly family-friendly fare (“Man of Steel,” “The Lone Ranger,” etc.) is at the very core of “The LEGO Movie,” and amid the laugh-a-minute gags, the absurdly inventive animation, and top-notch voice cast, that’s what pushes it into special territory. There’s a stark difference between a movie that (forgive the pun) builds a thoughtful and engaging world around a particular object and a movie bent on selling a particular object, and “The LEGO Movie” lands in that first camp. It’s an oxymoron of itself and it’s one hell of a good time.
24 MARCH 2014
Cover Show Collection
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COLDPLAY COVERSHOW DAFTPUNK DEATHCAB DEATHFROMABOVE
FRANKOCEAN GORILLAZ LOSCAMPESINOS MARCH PATTISMITH
PINK RHCP SAYANYTHING SPRINGSEMESTER TALKINGHEADS
THECINEMA THEDICKS THESTOOD THIRDEYEBLIND WHITSONS
Surviving Winter
Across 2. Ice crystals that fall from the sky. 9. Warm beverages that negates anything that is cold. May or may not have marshmellows. 11. That big sports event happening in Russia. 13. The racers of this craft usually resembles peas in a pod. 15. Like shuffleboard, but with giant stones.
Down 1. Sacred tool that frees your car from snow. 3. Since the dawn of mankind, this has kept us warm. 4. A man made completely out of snow. Frosty is their figurehead. 5. Mystical footwear that allows for easier travel during snowy conditions. 6. Your feet never seem to have traction on this. Nor so your car tires. 7. Sharp ice spears that hang off of buildings, cars, etc. 8. More than simple snowfall that usually cancels classes. 10. That not-quite-water, not-quite-ice substance once the snow melts. 12. Spherical ammunition during wars involving snow. 14. Substance that gets rid of the ice. 26 MARCH 2014
OVERHEARD @ PURCHASE https://twitter.com/PurchaseQuotes
“It's not snowing. It's ashes from my arsen.” “I haven’t gotten dick since Jesus Christ was born”
"Lipstick makes you feel like you can take over the world, isn't it great?”
“Don’t put your hands on me you are not “You’re in the dead penis Oprah” society anyway” “He’s like an Abercrombie model that has sex with lots of guys”
“Yeah, can you text my girlfriend for me? I don’t have her number.” “That’s the kid that spit in my face one time.”
"If I'm not guna have sex with someone, I might as well have a good meal"
"Everyone looks like Sand People." “Every time I’m tripping I always have my period.”
“I ovulate for you.” “Umm...where’s Z-22?”