Pugwash News Issue 21

Issue 21 Wednesday 10.12.08

Shape up for your party dress Life & Style » p9

Making a mess of student Life Comment & Opinion » p6

Cram-iversity William Hobson

Portsmouth University has taken on a huge number of students this year - too many for it to deal with.

The University directorate have increased this year’s intake of new students by extending the clearing period until a week before the start of term, taking applicants right up until the end of September. This has led to problems for students of all years throughout the university, according to our Education and Representation Officer, Steve Topazio.

“People have told me that they have to sit in the stairways in their lectures”, says Topazio, and points out that it’s not due to poor seating plans but rather the sheer volume of students. There have also been problems with timetables, as allocating study space for the unprecedented number of people has proven a difficult task.

Many students are having to check their timetables on a daily basis for changes, which has been described at the Course Rep council meeting as “unacceptable”. Substantial changes to timetables were still being made six weeks into this first term, meaning those affected were unable to plan their time - a problem exacerbated by reported problems in communication.

The University has explained the situation to the Education and Representation Officer, though it has yet to release a statement to the general student body. The decision to increase intake was made because an audit by the Higher Education Statistics Agency (HESA) found that the University could owe an estimated £1 million; confusion over the interpretation of the status of students with trailing or failing units meant that government funding for around 800 students has since been disallowed. By taking on

Call of Duty 5 Game Review

more students through clearing, the directorate hoped to compensate for the shortfall in funding.

However, the University’s capability to deal with the increased numbers has fallen into question. The problems came to light at a meeting of the University Course Reps, where a complaint from the Humanities Department triggered responses from representatives of all faculties. Though it was a Third Year who registered the issue, reports from all years came in, and it became clear that even though it’s only the First Year classes that have increased in size, there has been a knock on effect on all years of study. After realising the extent of the problem, Topazio took the case up with the University, who quickly explained the situation to him and addressed his concerns over

resolving it.

“The uni is not equipped in terms of teaching space to handle our success in terms of the numbers of students- yet” says Topazio. The University hopes that the present room shortage will be solved when the new Dennis Sciama Building is completed in January, and that the communication problems will be managed by an increased use of the facilities around the campus. The new building’s rooms will be centrally run and timetabled, allowing all faculties extra room to work with. A new wing to the Eldon building is also planned, though it’s not certain how it will affect departments other than the Arts faculties.

The problems in communication will be handled by using the plasma screens around the campus to deliver urgent news and amendments to the relevant buildings, and the University hopes to make increasing use of email correspondence to pro-actively keep students in the loop. Currently, technical problems and legal issues with the use of student’s personal email addresses are holding the new system back.

An apology had not been made to the students affected until this issue was raised by Pugwash News, Topazio fears that students education has been disrupted and it is unlikely that any kind of allowance can be made for the knock on effect this may have on their assessments. With the Quality Assurance Audit last week, he thinks it’s important that the institution does its best to reassure current students.

“They have said they won’t do it again next year”, he tells us, but he fears that, depending on how the finances go this academic year, the university may have to.

Arts & Ents » p13

VIP brings Christmas to the community

VIP’s Amy with the real life Santa Claus

photo: Ella Lawson

Santa’s Little Helpers OAP Dinner Amy Baker & Ella Lawson

Amy Baker & Ella Lawson

Have you been having lecture problems due to being oversubscribed?

Have your say at: upsu.net/news

It was an early start for our 23 volunteers, many of whom were still tired from the Big Tidy Up we did the day before on Portsdown Hill. CO2 was converted into Lapland full of arts and crafts, fairies and elves, and Santa (our jolly caretaker Dave) sitting in his grotto. The 16 children arrived and melted our hearts, they were ever so excited to see all the fun. These were the youngest group of children ever invited to our events, some as young as 5 with a range of disabilities. In particular there were twin boys, one of which ended up covered head to toe in red paint (along with the chair he was sitting on), the other was having an indepth conversation with a little light in the bar. There was a wonderful little boy we all adored who was so thrilled to receive a gift from Santa he made him a Christmas card and decorated a cookie for him (he also saved his last Mini Cheddar from his packed lunch for him!). Santa said it was the best Santa’s Little Helpers ever, and we all agree!

And another early rise for our third event of the weekend, volunteers met at the Union at 9am to begin the transformation of the Waterhole from the bar we all know into an oasis of Christmas cheer. Fifty local old folks were greeted with offerings of sherry, port and mince pies. The volunteers then mingled for a while before lunch was served. We were all treated to full Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, followed by Christmas pud.

Then Kaz made her bingo calling debut, I think the volunteers possibly enjoyed this more than our guests, I most certainly did, and I won! I was slightly overexcited about this and I got to give my prize to the lovely lady on my table (who was a little merry from the sherry and treated us to a rendition of Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer, into a microphone for PureFM). We had fabulous feedback and they all seemed incredibly excited about returning for the Valentines Lunch.

News » Halls of residence

News » Local

News » Entertainment

UPSU Media

James Watson disgrace

Pompey-saurus

Win a Gig

Want to write for Pugwash News?

Excrement spread on stairwells, walls kicked in, vomit in the lifts, broken ceiling tiles; the University of Portsmouth’s newest halls of Residence has all of this to offer. In the last ten weeks, four incidents involving excrement being smeared across walls have occurred, the most recent being in November.

Caz Bird, our Student Support Officer, has said that she feels “Students believing that this kind of behaviour is acceptable is a complete disgrace, and stems to no more than a form of bullying and harassment”. Bird continues, stating that it is important that “more is done to counter this vandalism”.

The cause of this vandalism seems to stem from mainly Second Year

Another researcher at the University of Portsmouth has identified a new type of dinosaur. Mark Witton identified the new species of pterosaur from a fossil of part of a skull found in Brazil. The creature is estimated to have a wingspan of about five metres, larger than most family cars.

Witton said: “The discovery of something like this in Brazil - so far away from its closest relatives in China - demonstrates how little we actually know about the distribution and evolutionary history of this fascinating group of creatures.”

However, this isn’t the first dinosaur Portsmouth researchers have discovered as Pugwash News discovered last year - upsu.net/p/2508

Students are being offered the opportunity to win a free gig performed at their Students’ Union by www.winagig.com.

The website is asking students nationwide to sign up and vote for their preferred Union, and the venue with the most votes on 31st December 2008 will win.

The event is part of the 2009 tour

by Cage the Elephant, one of the biggest up and coming groups on the music scene.

The band have recently finished a tour supporting The Pigeon Detectives and their single “Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked” went into the UK charts.

Sign up at winagig.com and vote to help our Union win this free gig!

Pugwash News / Purple Wednesdays is the Union’s student newspaper. If you have something to shout about, from burning issues to match reports, comment to features, or you want to photograph, design or help lay it out, get in touch!

“We were very popular with applicants last summer, and were able to take more well qualified students than we had anticipated - and most of them came either through the confirmation of their conditional places or in the first few days of clearing.

I know that the additional numbers led to overcrowding in some classrooms and lecture theatres. Departments and Faculties liaised with the timetabling office and I understand that most problems were sorted out early in the term. I apologise to students who felt that their early experience of the university was not as good as it might have been, and would be very grateful to hear if there are any remaining problems, or if difficulties recur in the second semester.”

John Craven Vice-Chancellor

tailgaters, who wait outside to gain entrance. The only way to pinpoint who is responsible is by increased surveillance and students reporting those responsible.

This year, the Guildhall management have installed a new halls regime, giving control and responsibility of kitchen and living areas to students.

They have also started a campaign encouraging students to treat halls as their home, rather than a temporary place of residence.

-ED

Staff Comments

“You think that smearing your mess all over the place is either intelligent or fun...”

» p7

Find out more at upsu.net/vip

For more information, see: upsu.net/p/2166

2

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

News

Editors

Eagle Bay, a container ship likely to contain Bananas, limps into Harbour at a near 45 degree list.

Photo of the Fortnight

Jacob Leverett Editor pugwashnews@upsu.net

Tom West Comment & Opinion Editor comment@upsu.net

Tom Worman Guest Design Editor mediaofficer@upsu.net

Elke Morice-Atkinson Life & Style Editor lifestyle@upsu.net

William Hobson Head of News news@upsu.net

Tallie Kane Arts & Entertainment Editor artsents@upsu.net

Laura Patricia Copy Editor copyeditor@upsu.net

Ben Endley Sports Editor sportnews@upsu.net

Sub Editors News Henry Tipping

Sports Chris Hewett & Carl Jackson

Life & Style Sarah Beer & Nina Tennant Arts & Entertainment Dominique O’Mahoney & Jack Kane

photo: Becky Hyde

Contributors Jordon Boon, Peter Burjan, Matt Calmus, Alix Carey, Sophie Castle, Emily Crockford, Laura Crotty, Emma Dines, Abbey Dixon, Tom Dollan, Andy Donohoe, Lauren Evans, Amanda Greenwood, Marie Gomes, Oliver Laurenson Gore, Steph Hall, Lucy Hopkins, Beth Issac, Danielle Joynson, Rob Knott, Simon “Darby” Leach, Katie Leaming, Sarah Morcom, Rachael Penycate, Jessica Pelizzani, Sam Rohde, Oyeniyi Olugbenga Samuel, Shuaib Shafi, Donald Vass, and Anna Wardell

Universities Round Up With thanks to: Caz Bird, Ash Curtis, Kate Hyder, Paul Kirtley, Ella Lawson, Andrew Machin, Chris Mineham, Nick Pearson, Shrey Puranik, Steve Topazio and Richard Weymouth

Christmas Crackers Did you hear about the two ships that collided at sea?

One was carrying red paint and the other was carrying blue paint. All the sailors ended up being marooned.

Why are chocolate buttons rude?

Because they are Smarties in the nude.

What athlete is warmest in winter?

A long jumper.

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?

Wi’ Jammin

What’s ET short for?

Because he’s only got little legs.

Varsity Cambridge University The recent BNP list leak revealed that an engineering technician at the University of Cambridge is a BNP member, which caused a bit of a stir on campus. The man in question, Arthur Nightingale, admitted to being a paid up member, but said he was not active within the party otherwise. The University tried to play down the issue, and wish it to be forgotten as soon as possible: “Political beliefs are an entirely personal matter, as long as they do not affect performance in the workplace” said a spokesperson. A student stated that it was “within his rights” to be a member if he so chose.

Epigram Bristol University Students at Bristol University are in mourning for the death of one their peers from type C meningitis. The victim was a first year medical student, who died on the 14th of November after two days in hospital. His family, housemates, and closest friends have all been given antibiotics against the disease, and an email was sent out across the campus warning about the symptoms of the disease; all students attending university in the UK are advised to get vaccinated against the disease prior to arriving, but cases are still fairly common. There was another fatality to the disease at Nottingham Trent University in the same week.

Felix Imperial College London The Felix team from Imperial College London won four awards at the recent Guardian Student Media awards; Runner Up Columnist of the Year, Runner Up Magazine of the Year, Student Journalist of the Year (Tom Roberts) and Student Columnist of the Year (Angry Geek). Felix is published weekly and has a sabbatical officer as Editor, and a team of over 40 volunteers. The last award they won was Best Student Newspaper, in 2006. Pugwash was nominated in the Guardian Awards, but we were not shortlisted for any awards in the end - hopefully this will change by next year!

Oxford Student Oxford University The two Oxford Student journalists disciplined over an investigation into the University computer network’s security have had their sentences suspended until the result of their appeal. Patrick Foster and Roger Waite, who were originally suspended until the beginning of Trinity and Hilary terms respectively, have until Monday to appeal to the Disciplinary Court. In the meantime, motions of support have been passed by 12 college JCRs following recommendations from other JCR Presidents. Many of the JCR Presidents have been mandated to write to the University’s Vice-Chancellor and the Proctors.

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays

Web

“Small Print”

Contact Us

Best of the Web

Produced fortnightly by the University of Portsmouth Students’ Union (UPSU).

To get in touch with the Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays team, please visit upsu.net/newsdesk, e-mail us at newsdesk@upsu. net, call us via the Union’s Media & Publications Officer at: 023 9284 3657, or visit us at The Student Centre, Portsmouth Students’ Union, Cambridge Road, Portsmouth, Hampshire, PO1 2EF.

skepdic.com

conceptart.org

freerice.com

postsecret.com

Errors & omissions: while we take every care to verify our content, we may occasionally make mistakes.

Please contact us using the details above to report any inaccuracies or mistakes.

technovelgy.com

hypem.com

dailyscript.com

marumushi.com/apps/newsmap/

Printed by Quotemeprint - www. quotemeprint.com, 0845 130 0667, and printed on 100% recycled paper.

Pugwash News & Purple Wednesdays bears no allegiance to any political party and discriminates against noone.

You can download back issues of Pugwash magazine and Pugwash News online at: pugwashnews.com

The skeptics dictionary, walking you through the weird conspiracy theories and all other kinds of guff with clear reason and logic A trivia quiz site that donates 20 grains of rice to the UN world food programme every time you get a question right How Science Fiction keeps getting real science right!

Scripts from your favourite movies (and all the others)

Artwork competitions from professional artists; creature/character/environment/design of the week! Widely varied and always interesting

An interesting art project run by “Frank” in the US. People write their secret on a postcard and post it to the creator

Blog search engine for the newest, freshest tracks and remixes A unique insight into the world of news reporting

3

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

News

Portsmouth engineers race for Silverstone The next three years will see over 84 comics strips adapted to the silver screen, but rest easy, as most of them don’t have a cape in sight.

Bangkok Airport has resumed normal operations after an eight-day occupation by protestors. Hundreds of British tourists were stranded while thousands of Thais from the People’s Alliance For Democracy demonstrated against the country’s government, which they believe to be illegitimate, as it was installed following a military coup this year. Among those who will now make it back in time for Christmas are three Portsmouth graduates: Nicola Delaney, Deborah Clarke-Lens and Carolyn Smart, who will finally board a return flight on the 9th of December.

The situation in Zimbabwe continues to escalate as the president Robert Mugabe faces fresh international criticism from both Western nations and his own neighbours. The soaring inflation that has plagued the nation for over a year has led to a complete devaluation of its money; 200 million Zimbabwean Dollars are worth only $14 US (roughly), and the political strife that has divided the country has never been resolved. Now however there is another pressing concern for the people of ZImbabwe; a Cholera outbreak that has killed around 600 people already. World leaders hope that the prospect of disease crossing borders will force the neighbouring nations of Zambia and Mozambique to put pressure on Mugabe.

An attempt to breed two polar bears has failed miserably, after keepers realised that both of them were female... after several months of observation.

A 22 year old American wanted to see “The Dark Knight” so much that he left his two year old alone in his locked car while he was at the cinema. I’m sure Batman would not have approved.

Archaeologists opened the tomb of a Gushi shaman in northwest China to find the world’s oldest stash; the 2,700 year-old corpse was buried with approximately one kilo of marijuana. This appears to be the oldest known use of cannabis for purposes other than food or clothing.

Chinese police arrested a man for driving dangerously in a 4X4 - and discovered that he was missing both of his arms!

According to the man, he’s been driving for years using only his feet and was being “perfectly safe”.

ning again; after two or three years of badgering lecturers it worked!”

The dedicated team of twelve entered Class Two at this year’s event.

This requires them to have a fully built chassis, and their entry came a respectable sixth. Next year the team are aiming higher and are getting stuck into their project. Nick added: “We’ve got two teams now. Our first team have about twenty-two members, and they’ll be entering the First Class in 2009; the Second team have twelve.”

Readers shouldn’t underestimate the scale of the competition; 118 teams took part from over 20 countries from around the world, and the PR coverage was valued at over £1 million.

The organisers, the Institution of Mechanical Engineers, describe the event as a breeding ground for world class future engineers, whose “key aims are to inspire the next genera-

tion and address the skills shortage in engineering”.

Unfortunately though, Nick says they’re severely lacking support from the University: “as of last year we only had one department contact one of the academics managed to raise £3,000 through his contacts, but that wasn’t through the university. All we’ve got from them is a bit of storage space. We are hoping to get more out of them soon.” Currently, the team is sponsored by Pall Europe, who have provided financial backing, and BVT, who provided the team with the facilities used to build the actual chassis.

“We’re in desperate need for extra sponsorship though, and we’re always looking for anyone who might be interested.”

Germany, Asia, America and Australia also hold events like this, but without a substantial financial backer, Nick says he can’t even think about sending his team to compete in them.

News » Education

News » Pure FM

News » Mature Students

Qualifying your University Experience

Pure Pantomine

Working Hard and Studying On Top?

A new report by the National Union of Students (NUS), funded by HSBC Bank, is thought to be the first attempt by the body to qualify student’s experiences in Higher Education.

The first Student Experience Report surveyed 3,125 students across 146 Universities, on topics including quality of teaching and standard of hall accommodation, and it’s now intended that the survey will become an annual process. It also looked into the controversial issues of funding and included a review which asked students to rate how happy they were with their chosen places of study once courses had started.

Findings suggested that the average full-time student also works 14

The classic story of Snow White has been reworked and adapted to be based around our own student radio station; a brand new venture for Pure FM. The director of the pantomine, Shrey Puranik said of the event: “This is a fantastic opportunity. Every year, Christmas is celebrated differently across the world. This brings PureFM together just before Christmas. It will not be just a traditional play; it has been adapted to be based around PureFM and is a mix of fictional characters and reality.” Starring members of Pure, it will incorporate classic Christmas songs, and a cameo performance from a Radio 1 DJ. The pantomime will be available to download as a podcast from Christmas Day.

Mature students who work over thirty hours per week on average (sixteen hours for disabled students) as well as studying for a degree, may be eligible for help government help.

Working tax credits are available to all on low income.

If you are working in a minimum wage job, you most probably qualify.

Tax Credits are also based solely on taxable earnings, so the student loan is not considered.

Most people are aware of Child Tax Credits for people with families, but Working Tax Credits are available to anybody on a low income.

Another benefit of Working Tax Credits is that people who receive them are entitled to free prescriptions,

The UN Climate talks in Poland saw over 700 activists march through the city of Poznan, where delegates from 190 countries are to confer on the issue of climate change. Members of Greenpeace, WWF and Oxfam made up a large proportion of the protestors, and aimed to put pressure on the representatives to live up to previous promises and go further than before. The activists were supported by the UK’s own National Climate March, where hundreds of UK citizens marched on Parliament Square to demand immediate action from our domestic government.

Sarah Morcom

It’s going to be heads down and hard work for over thirty Portsmouth students this Christmas, as they set their sights on Silverstone.

After a successful event this year, the University of Portsmouth Formula team will be competing in Formula Student 2009. This competition involves teams from universities around the country designing, building and potentially racing their own Formula One car - though it’s judged only on the first two criteria! Portsmouth are aiming to have the design phase completed by January 4th.

This year’s event was the first time a team from the University entered, and it wasn’t an easy task to get if off the ground. Team Leader Nick Pearson said: “My brother started here at Portsmouth and tried to start it up years ago but was unsuccessful. I picked up the baton and tried to get it run-

hours a week, indicating how many students underestimate their living costs and the shortfall of loans in meeting them. (This report comes after Portsmouth students were recently revealed to work more hours while studying than students at any other UK University.)

The report also found that, of 129 students experiencing bullying, only 29% reported it to the University.

The NUS President, Wes Streeting, described the report as giving “an unprecedented insight into the experiences and concerns of students. We look forward to working with tutors, institutions and the government to address the issues raised.”

A man was trampled to death by shoppers at a WalMart in America on “Black Friday”, when American shops offer massive December deals around the country. Similar sales in the UK and France have also previously seen people injured by crazed bargain hunters, though there have been no fatalities as yet.

The Abbot of West Sussex has attacked Disney movies for corrupting children with materialism.

free dental care and free optical care.

Many people are unaware of their eligibility for this.

If you would like to know more about tax credits, look on the Revenue and Customs website at hmrc.gov.uk, or visit the Student Finance Center here in Portsmouth.

John Roskilly, the 2008/2009 welfare representative at our Students Union said “You may or may not qualify for Tax Credits but if you don’t ask, you will never know. Student life is tough enough, mature student life doubly so. This is not asking for handouts, this is what we paid for during those years we worked before coming here. Let’s get out there and claim our rights”

4

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

5

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

News

Why do I need to sign in to see the current vacancies?

You are asked to sign in for the Job Shop webpages to ensure that only students at Portsmouth University are able to view the full vacancy details.

To register for your login for the Job Shop, you will need to register for your Union or the NUS card - go to upsu.net/registration. After you have completed this, you will then receive confirmation of your registration by email, and then you need to come along to the Union to collect your card. For one more week only, this will be from 10am-2pm in the foyer of the Students' Union.

Current Vacancies General Assistants We are currently recruiting two General Assistants to work at Portsmouth Naval Base for immediate start.

Retention Agents We are looking for Contact Centre Retention Agents to handle customer calls providing an efficient, courteous and professional service at all times.

You will play a key part in ensuring we continue to grow and retain our Customer base through delivering excellent levels of service.

Cafe Assistants We are currently recruiting two General Assistants to work at Portsmouth Naval Base for immediate start.

Pizza and Pasta Chef We are currently recruiting a pizza and pasta chef required to work part time in our Gunwharf restaurant Seasonal Sales Assistant We are currently recruiting seasonal sales staff to work over the Christmas period in our busy Gunwharf store.

Community Support Workers We are looking for support workers to assist a young man with behaviour difficuilties and complex health needs to live in his own home and access community resources.

Spanish speaking Customer Service Agents Wild Recruitment are looking for Spanish speaking customer service agents to work in Portsmouth. You will need to be fluent in Spanish and English and have previous customer service experience and good PC skills.

You will be taking incoming calls from customers dealing with all enquiries and also booking theatre tickets.

Part time Sales Advisor We are currently recruiting a part time sales advisor to work in our busy Gunwharf store

Agency Workers: Know Your Rights.

Do you know your rights as an Agency Worker? Examples of your rights as an Agency Worker include paid holiday, to be paid the National minimum Wage and to be issued with written terms of employment. For further information about the laws governing employment agencies, please contact the Helpline or visit either of these websites:

direct.gov.uk businesslink.gov.uk/employingopeople

Classy Degrees

Clever Circuit TV

British universities edged closer to scrapping their 200 year old degree classifications this month, with the proposal of a new ‘report card’ system for thousands of graduates.

The new system is likely to take into account students’ voluntary work while at university, and may include an assessment of their presentation skills and ability to work in a group. Aaron Porter, the Vice-President for Higher Education of the National Union of Students, said the current degree classification system was “no longer fit for purpose”. This clarion call was put forward after a radical review written by several university vice chancellors and leading academicians, which was contained in the nine research papers published recently.

A particular report by Christine King, the Vice-Chancellor of Staffordshire University, proposed that institutions should be encouraged to introduce more flexible teaching via the internet. It also recommended that part time education should not be looked down upon, and instead embraced and improved, as a majority of higher level skills can be acquired on a part time basis by people already in employment. She stressed an urgent need to adapt the school calendar and working practices, to allow the flex-

Danielle Joynson

ibility that part time students need.

The Chief Executive of the Higher Academy, Paul Ramsden, was also quoted in a separate article as saying that universities should abolish the system of classifying degrees as Firsts, 2:1s, 2:2s or Thirds at the end of three years of study. Instead, he suggested that report cards should be issued at the completion of each year. He claims that the current system “does not describe the range of knowledge, skills, experience and attributes of a graduate in the 21st century”.

The Vice-Chancellor of Liverpool University, Drummond Bone, said that UK universities needed to broaden their perspective on overseas work, possibly by building campuses abroad.

Overall, Vice-Chancellors have called for a total review of the educational system in the country, in order to suit the growing demands of all.

The remarkable ageing population of Britain’s academics was also brought to light by the authors of another report. More than one in six is due to retire in the next ten years, according to Universities UK, an organisation which represents Higher Education bodies, which could perhaps lead to a more visible re-organisation of Higher Education in the coming years.

CCTV cameras that claim to be able to predict crime before it happens were introduced for the first time in the county, right here on the streets of Portsmouth.

The camera will send alerts to an operator if they pick up any suspicious or ‘unusual’ behaviour, such as loitering, or vehicles moving too quickly.

Any person spotted by these cameras could then have to explain their behaviour to a police officer. They are being tested in quiet areas of the city, such as car parks, stairwells in buildings, and streets at night.

Portsmouth City Council Cabinet Member for Community Safety, Jason Fazackarley, said: “This is a fantastic development. It’s the 21st century equivalent of a night watchman; but unlike a night watchman it never blinks, it never takes a break and it

never gets bored.”

This new system has been compared to the Tom Cruise movie “Minority Report”, where crimes were stopped using CCTV cameras, before they could happen. This creates problems with privacy issues, and there is a chance that innocent people could be wrongly targeted by this system.

Nick Hewitson, the managing director of the camera system, said “It is able to alert the operator to something that might be interesting... a guy hanging around or somebody running for example. But what it cannot do is say whether that guy is waiting for his girlfriend or about to commit a crime.

That’s for the operator to make a subjective human decision on, and make an appropriate response.”

This system has been installed in Portsmouth for free and has been successful in a number of US cities, including New York and Washington.

Last local council to be scrapped The only Town Council in Portsmouth is to be abolished later next year, after residents voted to remove it.

The Secretary of State had previously decided against this, but the power to abolish them has now been passed down to Portsmouth City Council. There is only one Town Council in Portsmouth, and that is Southsea.

A formal review of the parish arrangements for the Southsea Town

Council area was carried out in 2006 and two referendums have been held, but each time the people of Southsea have voted against it. The Tories want to keep it, however the Liberal Democrats run it and want it abolish it.

Gerald Vernon-Jackson, Head of the City Council said: “It is important that local people’s views are taken into account. They have twice voted to abolish the Town Council. ”

Financially Dependent on Foreign Students?

The current economic downturn could have a profound effect on foreign students’ decision to continue their studies in British universities, according to the British Council. This means that universities could be in financial trouble if the overseas students decide to go elsewhere.

At the moment, the UK is a top choice for foreign students and their fees make up a significant proportion of university’s incomes.

Martin Davidson, chief executive of the British Council, has said that a number of institutions rely upon such

students. “On some courses”, he continues to say, “up to 80% of students are from overseas”; meaning that British students will be at risk of missing out on courses if there are not enough students overall for them to run.

The Universities UK Report claimed in September of this year that the largest proportion of the 50% growth of university’s income since 2000 came from international students. It also claimed that international fees are now a bigger source of income for most universities than research grants.

News » National

News » Finance

ID Cards Update

Chancellor is no darling to pubs or bars

The implementation of the new system of ID cards for overseas students (as reported in Issue 20) seems to have stalled around the country.

Currently, none of the students at Portsmouth who come under the new scheme have been called into the Croydon office to submit their biometric details; it is believed the Home Office have a substantial backlog.

A recent release from the Home Office admitted there are currently no capable scanners installed anywhere in the nation, or formal plans to implement them, drawing the entire scheme into question.

As of Monday 1st December, the Chancellor of the Exchequor has implemented a cut of 2.5 % in VAT, claiming “The Government is committed to supporting households facing financial difficulties”. Previously, when you bought something, 17.5% of the money taken from you by the retailer was returned to the treasury.

Now it will only be 15%. So prices should be able to be reduced. This seems fine in principal, until you look at the report in detail. Whilst trumping the VAT reform the government made light of some of the increases it will make to help balance the books.

One of the most prominent is an 8% increase in alcohol duty. Alcohol duty is a tax levied on beer, wine and spir-

Have your say about ID Cards online at: upsu.net/p/3835

its at the point the manufacturer sells it. Although the percentages cannot be directly compared, it does not take long to realise that a 2.5% cut at the point of sale will not cancel out an 8% increase at manufacture. Take this simple costing exercise: an average pub buys beer for around 75p per pint and makes a mark up of 60% (sounds a lot, but after staff, electric and running costs the profit margin is usually around 20% or less overall); before the budget they would need to sell that pint for £2.20. After the VAT cut and duty increase, they will need to sell it for £2.33 to make the same money. When you consider that only 20% is profit and 15% goes to the treasury, a publican who wants

to earn £20,000 a year will need to sell 48,780 pints a year or 133 a day.

That’s without doing you any deals. If they were to be competitive and sell their beer for £1.80, they would need to sell nearly 200 pints a day.

It is likely that the large national off licences will use their funds to swallow this increase, meaning more drinking at home. This could easily result in higher levels of alcohol abuse, anti-social behaviour and people not being able to afford a great night out.

So, as your social life declines and you see more signs of poverty, drinking, anti-social behaviour and health problems both in your families and on the streets, please remember it’s not your local but your chancellor who started

6

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

UPSU News

All in the name of charity Third charity chosen Shuaib Shafi

Imagine if a typical day in your life involved regularly checking your blood sugar levels and giving yourself injections. That’s the reality for a proportion of the 2.5 million people in the UK who suffer from some form of diabetes. As a result of a poll on their website, RAG (Raising and Giving) has announced that Diabetes UK will one of their charities that they support this year. Formally the British Diabetes Association, Diabetes UK is the largest charity of its kind in the UK, providing help and support for suffers of the condition. Perhaps as importantly, it also helps fund research to develop better treatments and, maybe one day, a cure for the condition. Diabetes is essentially a condition where a person’s

blood contains too much glucose, due to the body being unable to process it properly. Insulin is a hormone which helps glucose enter cells, providing energy to live. Sufferers of Type 1 diabetes produce no insulin - hence the need for injections of the hormone.

People with Type 2 diabetes produce some insulin, but they are still required to monitor their blood glucose levels. Living with diabetics can be emotional experience, with both practical and social implications. Diabetes UK helps by running care events, offering emotional support and representing the interests of diabetics.

So, throughout the year those crazy guys and girls from RAG will be dressing up, jumping out of planes and doing all sorts of crazy things in the name of supporting Diabetes UK.

Shot for charity Lauren Evans

RAG held its first social/fundraisingevent on Saturday 18th October. A group of 26 headed out to Romsey, and spent the day paintballing at the Delta Force Centre. The day was absolutely wicked. Delta Force gave us a pretty good deal and ensured we had a great day. We played six games in total, which was more than enough for me!

By the sixth game I could barely walk thanks to some pretty nasty “wounds” – most of them inflicted by my own team in the form of John “Sam” Kimberley. Each game was played in a different setting, from Vietnamese style villages to a fort and even on a London Double Decker bus. The scenarios were pretty intense, not to mention realistic. They included “capture the

flag”, smuggling your team captain to the enemy front line and placing a “bomb” behind enemy lines. Joe Woodman managed to sum up the day by saying “this is the closest we will ever get to being in the SAS.” Thanks must go out to Delta Force Paintballing and to everyone who came along, especially to Peter Allsop and Steve Topazio for driving the minibuses. (A special thanks to Will Hobson and Jordan Boon, who sacrificed themselves to join the enemy team due to uneven numbers.) Whilst having all this fun we also managed to raise money for RAG – all in all it was an absolutely brilliant day!

If you would be interested in getting involved with RAG then check out upsu.net/rag

UPSU reaches out to Course Reps

Student Opinion Survey

The number of courses at the University without student representatives fell by almost a quarter in less than a month, according to the latest figures from the University of Portsmouth Student’s Union (UPSU).

An increased uptake in these positions was seen in November, after October’s initial figures revealed half of all Course Rep spaces had been left vacant. Course Representatives are expected to link academic tutors with those receiving education, to provide appropriate feedback and, theoretically, ensure a better service for feepayers. There are almost 500 active student reps at the moment, and they are overseen by the University’s Student Representation and Education Officer, Steve Topiazo.

The reason for the originally poor statistic, Topazio says, was that newly-appointed students had failed to register themselves officially with the UPSU on behalf of their department.

The updated information now shows that about 75% of spaces are taken, following a swift response from pupils. “We knew what we wanted to happen, but staff in the departments didn’t seem to be with us,” he told Pugwash.

“It was just a case of advertising

it. The good news is, we’ve now got a better situation. We’ve solved the problem fully in three weeks.”

Although non-registration is still high among Third Years, the overall reduction through better awareness and data collection has been impressive. Humanities-based subjects now have the best ratio of active Course Representatives, with half of all spaces taken, the findings show. Technology, which includes subjects like computing, however, have yet to fill almost 60% of their spaces.

“It is very important,” said Topazio about the system, which has this year received dedicated Students Union funding for the first time. “The representatives offer a main way of assessing how much improvement students on courses actually think is needed.”

Ash Curtis, a Second Year Journalism & Media Studies student, who has been a Rep both years, agreed: “It’s a fantastic scheme. I don’t think students particularly appreciate it enough, which is a shame, because in my experience things do get done.”

The UPSU report recommends that future Reps be given an incentive to enrol, and also acknowledges the need for greater promotion behind the job’s importance.

The Students’ Union Happy Bus campaign and student survey has gained a large response from students and generated a huge amount of feedback. Sabb officers and staff members toured the campus for a week, and offered bags of goodies in return for students’ responses to a survey about the facilities of the student centre

News » Union Cards

News » Students

News » Holidays

News » Union

Future freebies

You must be there

Dutch society

Keep on growing

The University of Portsmouth Student’s Union (UPSU) is looking to offer a new, better alternative to the current students’ cards in the next academic year. Andrew Machin, our Union President, is encouraging local companies and businesses to get involved and offer students an alternative discount card to the NUS Extra card. Currently, the Union offers a free alternative to the Extra card so that students can participate in the elections, gain access to the Union at night, and qualify for insurance in their societies and clubs - but unfortunately this “Union Card” doesn’t qualify a student for any discounts, locally or nationwide.

A motion that would force a representative from all societies and clubs to send at least one representative to the Student Council meetings was put forward at the latest Council meeting on the 2nd of December.

Anyone who missed three meetings a year would see their B account funding frozen until the issue was addressed with the Sabbatical Officer team.

The aim was to improve attendance at the council meetings and ensure the student body knew what was going on at their Students’ Union.

However, ironically, due to high levels of debate, time ran out to discuss the issue.

The Societies Executive Council has organised a trip to Amsterdam for next year, and is inviting all students to come along. The trip will see you packed onto a coach Thursday night, to arrive on Friday morning at a hostel in the heart of Amsterdam.

The price of £109 will include bed and breakfast, travel, and free entry to a nightclub on the Friday night. Tom Harrison, the vice-president of the Soc Exec, has plans for a group pub crawl and day trips around the city’s highlights - ranging from the arty Van Gogh museum to the seedy Red Light District.

Ella Lawson, Activities and Development Officer, received approval to develop plot of land outside Burnaby Building. “We plan to use this area to run projects with children who wouldn’t normally have the chance to grow their own”, says Ella, and raised the possibility of getting approval for a plot in Ravelin Park as well.

‘Growing your own’ is an activity that has seen increased interest in the last few years, with many families around the country providing a substantial part of their groceries from produce harvested straight from their back garden or kitchen window – though, admittedly, students are not typically associated with the hobby.

and the effectiveness of the Union.

The survey generated responses from over 10% of the students enrolled at the Uni - more students than voted in the last set of sabbatical elections.

The feedback from the questionnaires is still being collated, and will be published later this month, but we have managed to grab a sneak preview.

*stats liable to change

More: tinyurl.com/upsuamsterdam

7

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

Comment & Opinion

The Editor reserves the right to edit and omit contributions. The views expressed are those of the contributors and not of UPSU Media. E-mail to comment@upsu.net I'll try to tell the world about your views!

Making a mess of student life A number of you have been in contact with Pugwash News about the recent vandalism at James Watson Halls. The vast majority of you have condemned the acts of vandalism, with a minority dismissing them as nothing more than the usual behaviour of students. The following open letter to all students in halls of residence expresses the collective sentiment of those of you who condemned the vandalism quite accurately.

It is from a member of staff who works at James Watson, to whom anonymity has been granted:

Dear students living in halls, I am aware that the vast majority of you are polite, courteous and have good intentions towards others. At the same time, I acknowledge that there are those of you who are selfish, rude and downright stupid. It is to this second group that I write this letter.

I have worked in James Watson long enough to have seen many hundreds, if not thousands, of students pass through its doors. I’ve noticed mthose of you who arrive excited and full of nervous energy, ready to take on the challenge of being a student in today’s world. Then I notice those of you who arrive with that air of apathy around you, who no doubt think that being a student is about nothing more than seeing how many pints of snakeSteph Hall, our magazine editor, was a resident of James Watson Halls back in 2005. We asked her to tell us a little about how it was there in her day, and offer her thoughts on the recent occurrences: As a former resident of James Watson Halls, it fills me with great sadness that it has been vandalised. Why? What makes people want to destroy it in such a way? People have to live in it for nine months of their lives and pay a lot of money to do so. What gives people the right to wreak such havoc which will affect the hundreds of students that live there?

When I was there in 2005, it had not long been built. In the time that I was there, there was no trouble at all, aside from the odd bit of ketchup on the walls and the fire alarms being set

bite you can drink in one evening before you become violently ill.

You, the impolite student, the disrespectful student, the rude student, the noisy student, the stupid student, the arrogant student, the immature student, the feckless student, the apathetic student, the dirty student, the destructive student... What on Earth do you think gives you the right to inflict your behaviour on those amongst your peers who are serious, studious, clean, polite and respectful?

I’m not talking about the “usual” complaints due to loud noise, or fire alarms set off as a prank and such like.

Oh, no. It’s much worse than that.

Do you have any idea what it is like to be confronted with the sight and the smell of vomit? Or excrement? Or urine? Or as you may call it, sick, shit or piss. Maybe talking to you on that level is the only way of truly making you understand where I’m coming from. One can only assume that you do, since it has been found on several occasions in the stairwells, lifts and corridors; areas that are used by more than your disgusting minority. Communal areas. Shared areas. Bits of the building that other people as well as you use and live in.

What is wrong with you? There must be something wrong in your head if you think that smearing your mess all over the place is either intelligent or fun. It’s the behaviour of a

two year-old child who does not know any better. Even then they would probably be smacked by their mum or dad. Maybe we should smack you. Or rub your noses in it, in the same manner as people do with their pets when they use the carpet instead of their litter tray or the garden.

I know it is not just you. There are those who find their way into the halls to wreak havoc but were you all more prudent with regards to security, then I’m sure half of these disgusting occurrences would not have taken place. I blame you for their actions.

What happened to your pride?

What happened to your sense of community, of belonging? Where did it go? That is, if you had any to begin with. Do you think it is fair to allow this behaviour to continue? Do you think it is fair that the perpetrators go unpunished? What would happen if someone were to soil your property? Or leave their mess outside your flat? Would you still condone this behaviour? Would you still guard your silence?

I know that some of you know who takes part in these acts of gross stupidity and I also know that you will not inform a member of University staff.

What I do not know is the reason why.

Is it because they are your friends? Is it because you have been threatened?

Is it because you simply do not care enough? I would like you to be fully

aware that what they perform are not acts of reckless abandon but acts of criminal damage. Those responsible could face more than the results of the University’s own disciplinary procedures. They could face criminal charges and a criminal record. It wouldn’t be hard, simply costly, to perform DNA analyses on what is left for myself and my work colleagues - my friends - to clean up. What on Earth would you do were I to turn up at your door with a report matching you to vomit found somewhere? What about a report proving it was your excrement spread up a wall? Would you be repentant or simply slam the door in my face? Would you offer to clean up your own mess?

To those of you who condone this behaviour, who have taken part in the destruction of your environment, who do not care enough to help put a stop to this stupidity, I say this: I hate you.

You spoil my work and what little job satisfaction I have remaining.

To those of you who are outraged by this, who are sickened, who despise those who cause this and who want to stop it from ever happening again, I beg you to help us.

This cannot become a regular occurrence. I could not take it. I should not have to take it. The “good” students amongst you should not have to take it.

Name and address details supplied

off several times in a night; something which isn’t unusual in halls. It was a place that I made most of my friends and brings back many good memories of my time there. When I think of James Watson Halls, I think of people playing football in the courtyard, playing silly games with our neighbours and flat parties.

Now that seems to be in the distant past as people keep pushing the boundaries of what they think they can get away with it. How can the people who have caused this vandalism live with faeces in the corridors, amongst other things, in a place that they live, and just be happy with that? If I were still there and this was happening, I’d be asking to move to another hall of residence – we’re at university now, not school. It’s a place to actually do something useful and be recognised for it and not for the wrong reasons.

Tom Worman, our Media and Publications Officer, was also a resident of James Watson Halls back in 2005.

We asked him to tell us a little about how it was there in his day, and offer his thoughts on the recent occurrences:

the wall and generally vanalised the whole place. I seem to remember D block getting a particularly bad spate of vandalism including the lift being so badly kicked in it didn’t work.

I don’t know why people do it, but it was us (the residents) who got the letters from the University saying we would be charged for the damage, but realistically why would you abuse where you live?

Maybe I am wrong, as I haven’t been back to halls since my first year but by the sounds of it the University haven’t upped the security levels or started to work out why this is happening. Or maybe it is a case of we as students should take some responsibility and stop letting in those who have ‘forgotten their keys’ at 3:30am.

We are supposed to be adults now, is it really that difficult to control your anger and stop vandalising the place?

I don’t think it’s much different since the days when I was there, living in halls was one of the best experiences of my life, the friends I made, the experiences I’ve had and the smell of sick in the morning are all equally unforgettable.

It was always the case you could shuffle in behind someone in halls who would happily hold the door open for you if you had ‘forgotten your keys’.

I’m pretty sure (although I can’t prove it) that it was these tail-gaters who set off the fire alarms, smashed the ceiling tiles, smeered excrement up

8

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

9

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

Life & Style

Get in shape for your party dress

No doubt, if you are as organised as my sister, then you will have already wrapped up this year’s Christmas presents with some stylish paper and perfectly tied ribbon. However, if you are more like me, where christmas presents are a last minute thing on your mind, maybe it would be worth looking at some eco-aware gifts this year. Below is a bit of a run down to some gifts we found on t’interweb.

Christmas is just over two weeks away and, even though we all know about healthy eating and moderation, you may have already seen off all your advent calendar chocolates.

In the immortal words of Corporal Jones - don’t panic! There is still time to make changes.

For simplicity, choose some of these lunch and snack food swaps to reduce the calories you in take, and up the amount of exercise - you can even continue to eat your normal dinner!

PANTS TO POVERTY

Breakfasts

Tom Worman

These pants are so cool you might even want to wear them on the outside of your clothes (or not). A spin-off from the Make Poverty History campaign, these pants are Fair Trade and crafted from organic cotton, and one pound from every sale is reinvested into campaigning for trade justice. pantstopoverty.com | £10 GLOBAL WARMING MUG Alright, so maybe this isn’t the most enthusing present you can get someone, but nonetheless it’s a best-seller.

Fill the mug with a hot drink and watch as the rising temperatures take hold of the world. find-me-a-gift.co.uk | £5.90 MOON JAR Sit the traditional mason jar on a windowsill during the daytime, and it will turn on auto-magically when it gets dark. ethicalsuperstore.com | £19.99 BUY A GOAT Or maybe a camel if you are feeling flush. Not for you, or your family but for people less fortunate than yourself. Oxfam Unwrapped gives you the opportunity to really make a difference in another country by giving a gift which will make a difference to someone’s life. oxfam.org.uk | Gifts from £6

Swap a 50g bowl of Cocopops, Frosties, or any other sugar coated cereal with milk and a slice of buttered toast and jam (worth 485 calories) for a 65g bowl of sugar-free muesli with semiskimmed milk topped with a chopped banana; not only will this fill you up for most of the morning, it’s only 385 calories.

Saves 100 calories Swap that blueberry muffin on your way to lectures (with 520 calories – more than a Krispy Kreme doughnut ), for a fruit scone, wholemeal if they have one, a fruit salad and a skinny cappuccino, with just 320 calories.

Saves 200 calories Swap a traditional fried greasy bacon sarnie with ketchup, which has at least 440 calories, for two slices of lean grilled back bacon on bread with ketchup and slices of tomato, reducing the calories to 340. If you don’t have one already, a George Foreman grilling machine is a great choice christmas present to ask for.

Saves 100 calories Lunches Swap your shop-bought tuna mayonnaise sandwich (400 calories) for a homemade simple tuna and salad sandwich - not only is this healthier but you get the whole satisfaction of making the sandwich yourself!

Use two slices of wholemeal bread, spread lightly with reduced fat mayonnaise, and add a can of drained

tuna and fresh tomatoes.

Saves 100 calories Swap a chunk of French stick from a typical sandwich shop with a ham filling, which has a whopping 700 calories, for a ham and tomato sandwich with a scraping of butter for 300 calories.

Saves 400 calories Swap a baked potato with butter, baked beans and a sprinkling of grated cheese (600 calories) for the same potato with just the beans and a large side salad (400 calories).

Saves 200 calories Snacks and drinks Swap a Dairy Milk chocolate bar, which notches up 280 calories for a mini-pack of Cadbury’s chocolate buttons, just 169 calories - mmm chocolatey goodness.

Saves 111 calories Swap a large cappuccino using whole milk (207 calories) for a medium sized skinny cappuccino using skimmed milk (only 96 calories).

Saves 111 calories Swap a thick smoothie drink containing 300 calories per 250ml bottle for three pieces of your favourite fruit, such as a banana, a satsuma and an apple, and just 200 calories - another fantastic christmas present to ask Santa Claus find in his sack is a smoothie maker; throw in the fruit, add some juice, blitz it up and you have the perfect solution for all your winter vitamins.

Saves 100 calories Exercise

SQUATS: Stand with your feet apart and, bending your knees, slowly lower your bottom as though about to sit on a chair, and then straighten up.

Concentrate on lowering the bottom rather than bending the knees.

Whilst this might not be the definative guide to losing a few extra pounds, before you sit down for your family christmas meal (where no-doubt you’ll eat until you can’t move), it may at least help you on your way.

BALLET EXERCISES: Lie on one side, with your upper leg bent and your toes resting on the ankle of your straight lower leg. Keep your hips still and, without letting the top hip roll forward, slowly lift and lower the bended knee. This gives the bottom a sculpted curve.

LEG LIFTS: If your bottom tucks under rather than than sticks out, try this to get more of a J-Lo “shelf”. Lie on your stomach, with your arms bent and your forehead resting on the back of your hands. Keep legs together and straight. With your tummy pulled in and your hips pressed into the floor, lift one leg, and then lower. Then lift the other.

EXERCISE TIPS: Buy an electric toothbrush with a two-minute timer and do your squats every morning and your lunges every evening while cleaning your teeth. You can pack in an extra 35 of each!

Do controlled and slow bottom squeezes when waiting in a queue, standing in a lift or talking on the phone — and remember to clench tight when walking upstairs.

Here’s how many calories you burn in an hour:

LUNGES: Stand with your feet slightly apart and, keeping the upper body upright, step forward with your knee bent while dropping the back knee down towards the floor. Keep it slow and controlled, and focus on lowering and raising the back knee, rather than just bending and straightening the front leg.

Rowing: 550 Ice-skating: 531 Kickboxing: 590 Swimming: 590 Cycling: 590 Taking the stairs: 472 Running up & down stairs: 885 Running at a fair pace: 531

or Waitrose are a good bet.

Decorations are always nice, and can be done on the cheap. If your housemates are a bunch of Scrooges, you can still try and instill a little festive cheer into your student house before you go home with some cheapo decorations. I heard on the grapevine that four meters of tinsel is only 97p at Asda. Wrap some tinsel around your banisters, hang some baubles around the kitchen, and place a miniature Christmas tree in your lounge to get some holiday spirit into your home. If it doesn’t work for your housemates, at least you’ll feel cheery.

The holidays are also a time for family. It can be good, bad or ugly depending on how your family works at this time of year. Let’s not deny it, Christmas is stressful; all that food to cook, all those presents to wrap, all those relatives to entertain. No wonder people get a little testy. Try to keep the airing of grievances to a minimum

and polite chat about the weather and what’s on telly to a maximum. If you expect some parts of the holidays to be a little sensitive (ex-partners coming over, fights with siblings and the like) try to think beforehand how you might cope with it. You don’t want your Christmas to be the stuff the Jerry Springer Show is made of.

Christmas cards are a fun way of letting friends know you’re thinking of them, but even they have a form of etiquette. Have you ever heard that expression “He’s off the Christmas card list”? They’re not kidding. There is a right way and a wrong way to do Christmas cards. (You may say “We all know it’s Christmas, why give us card to tell us again?”, but don’t question the logic; just make sure you return the favour.) Lots of supermarkets sell cheap cards with messages written inside. You will only have to write a maximum of four words on each card (To blank, From blank).

Dress £35 from Wallis

Merry EcoChristmas

Life & Style » Guide to...

Christmas time Elke Morice-Atkinson

Christmas. Crimbo. Xmas. Chrissie.

That’s right people; Christmas is on its way. To celebrate your festive cheer (or perhaps instil some in you) read on for our guide to Christmas 2008.

Christmas is the only time of year when it is (semi) acceptable to stuff yourself silly on food. I mean really silly - the kind where you need to open the top button on your trousers kind of silly. The Food Standards Agency (FSA) knows we’re all going to go crazy, and so gives the following advice for eating well at Christmas. They suggest eating breakfast on Christmas morning, as this will fill you up and you will be less likely to snack on chocolate. This won’t stop you from enjoying Christmas pudding though. But, the FSA suggests serving that pudding with natural yoghurt or even fresh fruit, instead of brandy but-

ter. Other helpful hints from them include going for a walk, having a dance or playing an active indoor game to shake off some of those festive calories. Finally, don’t forget to take it slowly when eating your Christmas dinner; this will help you avoid feeling uncomfortably full.

Presents are also a big part of Christmas. There is a right way and a wrong way to approach Christmas gifts you don’t fancy. If your Auntie gives you another “festive” jumper, just say “thanks very much Auntie Pat, it will go great with the Christmas trousers from last year”, and be done with it. You can sell it on eBay later. If you buy someone a gift you’re not sure they’ll like, make sure you keep the receipt and ask when you buy it what the returns policy is and how long you have until you need to return the item. If you’re buying gifts for people you don’t know very well, luxury food gifts from Marks & Sparks

Keep this advice in mind and have a merry Christmas and a happy New Year! (Or just a happy holiday, if you’re not that way inclined!) If all else fails, go skiing, that’s what I’m doing...

Finally, show off your singing talents to your family and friends this Christmas with a couple of festive jingles, with a twist:

Jingle bells // Batman smells // Robin laid an egg // The Batmobile lost its wheel // And Joker got away // Hey! (Repeat x 100)

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer // Had a radioactive nose // Measured in mega-Curies // You won’t like the way it glows // All of the other reindeer // Wouldn’t go near Rudolph’s head // They’d have preferred if Rudolph’s // Nose had been encased in lead!

10

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

11

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

Life & Style

Life style Reviews...

Chat Massala

Golden Bowl

Albert Road

Fawcett Road

4/5

3/5

William Hobson

William Hobson

Right at the end of the Albert Road shops, there lies Chat Massala, an initially unassuming takeaway that doesn’t really stand out at first look.

But Chat was one of the first places I saw in Portsmouth to do the wonderful ‘student meal deal’ (naan, rice, poppadom and chutney, and a portion of any curry beyond the king prawn), and its pioneering spirit isn’t the only thing it’s got going for it. It offers the usual fare of tikkas, kormas, rogans and the like, as well as a decent dhansak and dopiaza, and has an extremely varied “speciality” section on its menu, where you can get “clay baked chicken tikka” or dishes you’ve never heard of, like Jahar Chicken.

Now, I’ve no idea whether these are actual genuine dishes or just renamed curries; I can’t claim I’m good enough to tell. I can only tell you they taste nice and I’ve never heard the staff complain about me ordering them as part of the deal, even though they cost more. Aside from the deal, there’s also great economy to be made on the normal menu, with dishes usually coming with rice rather than separate, and the meal for one offering a solid combination of dishes that easily feeds two (you’d have to be VERY hungry to polish it off on your own) and, apart from the disappointingly bland standard chicken ‘curry’, everything here is top notch for a takeaway, especially the chicken Tikka and the mushroom Bhajj. Highly recommended.

One of the various Chinese/Asian cafes that seem unique to Pompy, the Golden Bowl is unlike most takeaways that open before lunchtime and don’t close till late, so if you’re hungry for some tasty far Eastern treats at any point, and you’re passing, it’s worth a look. The menu doesn’t offer anything too amazing until you look at the set meals; a takeaway container for one at £5.50 looks as though it’d be a great way to sample a range of the menu for the more adventurous of us, but the meal for two is definitely the best value for money. With prawn crackers, a ridiculous amount of chicken balls, a decent beef chop suey and beef with mushrooms, as well as the choice of chicken chow mein or yeung chow fried rice (go for the chow mein – yeung chow is only really worth it at high quality places), the only thing holding it back is the small amount of vegetable spring rolls you get. Not that four isn’t enough when you’ve got the ridiculous amount offered by the other dishes, it’s just they’re pretty good, and after your third chicken ball you have to stop to make room for the rest. For the cash-strapped student who still needs a takeaway, it’s definitely worth looking at – the meal for two could easily feed three to satisfaction, especially with the chow mein.

Not the highest quality in consideration - a little bit greasy – but definitely tasty and satisfyingly priced.

Photo for illustration: Wickenden on flickr

Life & Style » Community

Life & Style » Legal Advice

Fashioning the future

Trading on the Edge?

UoP Fashion Textiles Enterprise students are already spreading the joy of fashion and handfuls of glitter into the local community.

Bridgemary Community Sports College in nearby Gosport invited Portsmouth students to support a fun and creative fashion design workshop for local children and parents. The school was keen to provide services and involve the whole community, so the free Fashion Workshop was a fantastic idea.

Within minutes, ribbons and sewing machines were flying, with students, parents and kids getting busy creating exciting outfits inspired by fireworks.

Aspiring designers and models of all ages worked together, with the result-

ing designs being modeled in a loud and proud catwalk show.

Portsmouth students started the show by strutting their stuff with a wild abandon, which immediately got rid of any stage fright in the room. All the outfits were greeted with huge cheers and it was clear to see how much the kids and parents alike enjoyed their time in the spotlight and were proud of their creative work.

After the catherine wheel of sequins and glitter settled down, prizes were awarded for the most innovative, creative, original, decorative and inspiring outfits. Watch out Alexander McQueen, there’s a young man called Jack in Gosport who’s after your fashion crown!

Have you ever bought something, and it was faulty or just simply of unsatisfactory quality? Then when you tried to resolve the problem with the trader, did you feel like you were hitting a brick wall?

Well, many people each day feel exactly the same way, and it can be very frustrating trying to find a solution. Trading Standards and The Edge volunteers may be able to help you.

Trading Standards, the government organisation tasked with protecting consumers, runs a volunteer programme that has been called The Edge; it is run locally as part of the Public Protection Service within the Directorate of Environment & Transport at Portsmouth City Council.

The Edge programme trains University of Portsmouth Law Students, as well as any other volunteers who are interested, in basic trading standards law to enable them to be able to give simple yet effective advice to family, friends and the public.

Edge volunteers are kept informed of any rogue traders operating in the community by the local officers and act as the “eyes and ears” of trading standards keeping a vigilant watch for unscrupulous business practices and products.

If you have a problem, no matter how small or big, with any trader, ranging from small local store, to multinational chain or even an online trader, then please book an appoint-

ment by contacting Sarah Phillips using the details below, or come to the Undergraduate Centre based in Richmond Building to make an appointment direct.

The Edge is also running fortnightly consumer law clinics at the University of Portsmouth Business School on the following dates and times: Friday 12th December 12.30-2pm Friday 9th January 12.30-2pm Friday 23rd January 12.30-2pm Friday 6th February 12.30-2pm For more info: sarah.phillips@port.ac.uk or tradingstandards.gov.uk

12

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

Arts & Entertainment

Singles Ladyhawke – My Delirium

Albums 4/5

Dancing euphorically along the narrow curb between underground and mainstream, Ladyhawke is pressing all the right retro buttons with the latest release from her self-titled debut album. Following summer singles Paris Is Burning and Dusk Till Dawn, My Delirium takes the best of the 80s and makes it current and credible – all the synths, none of the sequins.

With influences from Stevie Nicks and David Bowie, solo songstress Ladyhawke, aka. Pip brown, has mixed lyrics about a mental breakdown with quirky, sonic squiggles and electronic beats to create something shimmering, beautiful and crazily addictive. Like a sexed up Cyndi Lauper, this track is set to take the charts by storm. Or maybe just lap gently at the outer edges of the top 40, waiting for the mainstreamers to open their ears and appreciate her mesmerizing vocals and giddy melodies. Like her previous singles, it comes with some electrifying remixes. Press repeat and enjoy. Katie Leaming

Snow Patrol – Crack the Shutters

2.5/5

Opening with so much promise, it’s not long before the moody indie brooders latest release sinks back into their traditional form of agreeable but unremarkable. Unmistakably Snow Patrol, this is the 2nd single from the bands 5th album A Hundred Million Suns, which was released in the summer and has already gone platinum. While the previous single, Take Back The City, seemed to be taking the band in a new direction, this latest release is a backtrack to the pleasantly boring Snow Patrol of old. Building from soft piano notes to a rousing chorus, it’s not a bad listen, and the vocals of lead singer Gary Lightbody still have a slightly captivating quality, but it’s not enough to make you shut up and pay attention. With so much potential it’s disappointing to hear something so predictable, and the band, once again, fall short of the leaders in the emotional selfKatie Leaming absorbed field – Coldplay.

Florence & the Machine - Dog Days Are Over For anyone who dismissed poor Florence after hearing the rather nauseating bubblegum pop of debut single ‘Kiss With A Fist’, this single will be a shock. With no trace of repetitive lyrics and advert-music riffs, ‘Dog Days are Over’ has more in common with contemporaries like Laura Marling and Emmy the Great than Kate Nash.

It starts innocuously enough, with only a harp pluck to start the track, but as ‘Dog Days…’ spills into it’s first chorus, it’s true worth reveals itself.

With Florence’s beautiful voice, the melody soars, and the handclaps will bury the song in your head for days. While the band kindly pause to let you reclaim your breath, they end by launching into a crescendo of unfiltered joy that won’t fail to leave you beaming.

A single this fun should by rights be a summer release, in time to soundtrack holidays and ring out across festival fields. For now though, you’ll have to do with the 7” turning up in your Christmas stocking - as a special festive surprise though, there’s a wonderful cover of dance classic ‘You Got The Love’ on the B-side, showcasing another facet of her talent. Is there anything this girl can’t do?

Donald Vass

Pure FM

Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls

Thursday 4pm- 6pm

The show was founded by three male friends that are very fond of each other’s humour. One fine morning in First Year, the idea broadcasting our humour onto a public medium came about, originally called Sunday Roastings. However, due to a third party becoming involved over the summer, the name was changed to Sex, Drugs & Sausage Rolls. The show is split into segments, consisting of each individual DJs’ tune of the week, a live lounge performed by two of us, facts of the week and bargain of the week, all glued together with general banter and comedy skits. There is a general discussion of what has happened during the week, including sport, politics, showbiz, and upcoming events in the Portsmouth area.

Cat Power - Dark End of the Street Rating:

Tallie Kane Haven’t heard of Cat Power yet? Where have you been! This E.P. Is the latest in a long long line of beautifully crafted, heartwrenching offerings from Chan Marshall, who you may have heard on the Juno Soundtrack and noticed for her breathy, indie-gospel vocals and minimalist guitar. I hope. This time around she’s recruited a number of musicians to create a barren yet soulful soundscape that is destined to leave you lying on the floor thinking, a lot. The Opener, ‘Dark end of the Street’ sets the tone for the record perfectly, an electrifying take on alt-

In Bars - Haunted Stereo Rating:

Tallie Kane If you’re a fan of the following, you’ll be a fan of Haunted Stereo by the time you’ve finished listening to their E.P. ‘In Bars’ - Multi-instrumental bands such as Arcade Fire and Belle & Sebastian, Sensitively written fable-esque songs that pack a punch, and Snappy Dressers. Opening Track ‘In Bars they wanted to Sing’ is introduced by the breathy vocals of Lewis Ford and gently collides with the folky renderings of Ukuleles and Violins, creating

country and soul that creates exactly what to expect from the rest of the record. Heartache, Redemption, more Heartache. ‘Ye Auld Triangle’ harks back to whiskey bars, country piano and sad, sad guitars, and is probably the most outstanding track on the record, it doesn’t have the biggest ensemble but it does the job at breaking you down piece by piece. If you’re a fan of that fantastic blues atmosphere, ‘I’ve been loving you too long to stop now’ might be the track right up your street, a very dark one however but incredibly satisfying. One thing to make clear, this is not your average girl-anda-guitar, expect no padding and no barriers, this is an incredibly raw and universal sentiment that comes pouring out from Marshall’s record.

This is a record to listen to on your own, It wont go down well at a party unless everyone has got to the stage where you’re assessing the meaning of life, or everyone’s become too

emotional and in need of a musical soundtrack. Good Music is supposed to make you feel something, and it’s not always for the positive, I reccommend this if you want to hear about how unashamedly shit matters of the heart can get, but in the most beautiful, beautiful way.

a crescendo that is one of the most satisfying aspects of the band as a whole. One of the great things about Haunted Stereo is their ignorance of ‘traditional’ band roles which comes from a long line of alt-folk bands before them. They all sing at some point, they all get solos, and they have an accordion. This is a good thing, as ego’s aren’t the first thing a band should be about. ‘Head In’ sees pianist, accordionist AND Harmonica(ist?) Anja lend her vocals to the heart-skipping musical backdrop. Closer ‘The Ballad of Isnaburgh Street’ starts off as something relatively calm, The combined vocals of Andy and the rest of the band’s eery howl eventually works itself up into a multi-instrumental storm that demonstrates with precision, how well Haunted Stereo work around one another. ‘In Bars’ is a little like a pri-

vate performance, the recording itself is not the victim of over-production, thankfully, and allows the cracks in voices ring through to create a more personal and intimate atmosphere which the band is really all about.

mend taking tissues to. Heartbreaking, powerful and thought-provoking, it had me sobbing in a silent cinema. I was not the only one.

It stars Angelina Jolie as Christine Collins, a mother whose 9 year old child goes missing. After a five month search, a boy claiming to be her son turns up. Realising straight away that the boy is not her son, she comes up against the corruption of the LAPD,

who try to convince the world that she is mad.

Whilst the film is indeed upsetting, I would recommend anybody to go see it. Firstly Jolie is incredible as Collins, firmly cementing her place as one of the actresses of her generation.

Secondly, it is one of the best made films in years, and, whilst not easy viewing, is certainly worth it. Despite the crying.

Film Changeling Anna Wardell

Never has a film made me cry to such an extent. Not even Bambi. Changeling, a true story based in 1920s Los Angeles, is a film that I would recom-

Arts and Ents Stereo

Here at Arts & Ent’s HQ, we got bored of Internet generated charts, so we decided to put a playlist together of our own. We asked our contributors to give us the track they are listening to most this fortnight, so we can share it with you; get listening!

Shake It Shake It - Thomas Tantrum. - (Katie Leaming) The Ballad of Isnaburgh Street - Haunted Stereo - (Tallie Kane) Glass of Water - Coldplay - (Matt Calmus) If I were a Boy- Beyonce - (Anna Wardell) Django - Rancid - (Chris Mineham) My Turn (featuring Lightspeed Champion) - Basement Jaxx (Donald Vass) Liberation - Martyn Bennett (Jacob Leverett) Space Oddity.- David Bowie (Ben Endley) Love Lock Down - Kanye West (Gamel Oki)

13

Pugwash News Wednesday 10th December 2008

Arts & Entertainment

Gigs

l d s -The Fat t eRating: -

Comedy

Pete & the Pirates Fox

Dominque O’Mahoney

With their debut album realised earlier this year, this youthful lot from Reading have had plenty of hype and exposure around the music press.

Supported by a band I didn’t particularly care for enough to remember their name, and an energetic band named Paper Heroes, a London based

Indie Pop Rock group that impressed me enough to buy their CD. The headliners clearly have a passion for performing which is reflected in their playing. A charming and bouncy lot, the two front men were laughing and joking on stage as they played through their set. As a fan of their single Mr Understanding I was very intrigued if a live version would live up to the studio recording. I had to wait till the penultimate song but was definitely not disappointed with the lively performance.

They sound just as good as they do on their album and the band are very likeable with the crowd certainly loving them. Showcasing some new material the band has proved that there’s much more to come.

f , n e e

s ;

Jason Manford The Wedgewood Rooms Rating: Sam Rohde

Now here’s a name you certainly shouldn’t forget, in fact I must be honest and say I was shocked at the amount of people who don’t know who Jason Manford is, or at least think they don’t. So first of all I’m going to clear things up, 8 out of 10 cats team captain, the northern one. Yes you do know who I mean. With Peter Kay currently off the scene and Dave Spikey finished touring for the remainder of year, here comes a great opportunity for the fellow Northerner to showcase his fantastic stand up routine. Since replacing Dave Spikey on 8 out of 10 cats, anyone who watches will know

Frankie Boyle Portsmouth Guildhall William Hobson

Watching Frankie Boyle live is probably not a good idea if you’ve got any standards of taste or respectability (or at least any need to inflict them upon anyone else). You might think he’s foul mouthed and foul thinking on Mock The Week, but trust me, the best of his material is definitely cut.

The performance at Guildhall stands as one of the best comedy acts I’ve

just how sharp he is, with a phenomenal ability to deliver snappy one liners it’s no wonder his stand up works so well. Much like Kay and Spikey, he seems at home and relaxed on stage, chatting away to the audience like he has all the time in the world. And tonight in Portsmouth, I don’t think he could feel any more welcome. The small venue seems almost unfair, a guy with such talent could surely sell out the Guildhall, but this doesn’t kill the mood, not at all. The gig tonight is actually really intimate, he strolls on casually with a big grin on his face and it’s a delight to be sitting less than 20 yards away. If I were to describe Jason Manford’s routine, I would say it’s like having a conversation with a really funny mate. With endless anecdotes, stories and gags, you never bore of his company. It really is a joy to be there tonight, it’s literally just him, announcing himself and acting as his own warm up act. In such a small room, the audience are going

to be a key aspect of tonight’s show, and it is using the audience, asking questions and commenting on pretty much anything that comes from the two-hundred people before him that makes the show even more hilarious. Manford clearly loves the audience interaction and no matter what is said; he is quick witted, on the ball and delivers remarks that have us in fits of laughter. When not fooling around with the audience, his material and comic timing are wonderfully delivered, often every day situations that we can relate to as the audience smile nostalgically. It’s clear that this talent has come from a young age; a naturally funny man deserves all the credit he can get. He even makes tonight’s show last as long as possible, polishing off his encore just before 11 and staying to sign autographs after his set. The man is a great guy, with a warming persona and fantastic sense of humour; let’s hope to see plenty more from him in the future.

seen - ever - but admittedly it was a little like a trip into the heart of darkness (or Scotland, according to Boyle).

The man simply has no respect for the delicate sensibilities of political correctness in the outside world.

The real treat of the night was actually the warm up act - Ulsterman Martin “Bigpig’” Mo - who judged this years’ comedy at Leeds festival, and did a frankly brilliant job of preparing you for things to come. When a few crude jokes left someone in the front row looking appalled, he pointed out that Frankie was probably going to be much worse - that he was just the lubricant to Frankie’s anal rape.

Both of them betrayed a tendency to pick on the front row of the audience though, with Mo taunting a man with his glasses, and Frankie pointing out

the black hole of boringness created by an entire aisle of computer programmers.

But it was Boyle who pushed the taste boat out to sea, and crashed it into a refugee ship of starving orphans; literally no topic was safe, and the sheer inventiveness of his insults and creative swearing was a pleasure to hear. The man may make you think about the bleakest topics possible, but he makes you laugh about them. That is, if you’ve got a sense of humour, or if you’re far enough back in the crowd to avoid his scathing personal comments. I recommend that if either of them do pick on you when you see them, that you don’t respond, or its just going to get so much worse. “You won’t break me mate - I’ll break you.

I’m getting paid to be here.”

Television The Family Channel 4 Matt Calmus

Games Call of Duty World at War

5:

Rating: William Hobson

The latest in an epic series leaves the fictional near-future warzones of the last installation to return to its roots in giving life to the exploits of the Greatest Generation. Sadly however, this is far from the Greatest Game, especially in such a prestigious franchise. The first three titles were different from the fourth, in that they drew upon historical battles and managed to give their events real poignancy – almost respectfully letting you recreate one of the most nightmarish events in the last century on your PC. The fourth title moved from this to a more standard ‘terrorist/Russian plot’ to take on the free world, and to

be fair to it despite this departure it did a bloody good job of it. However number 5 hasn’t quite made it back to the previous games sense of historic recreation, which made you feel like you were in Band of Brothers every step of the way. Of course – the gameplay and graphics are what’s really important I suppose…here we have a bit more of a disappointment though. The former doesn’t have the strong design in singleplayer structure as you might hope, and at best meets your standard expectations for a CoD game. Multiplayer is also a little less fun than in CoD4, perhaps due to the decision to move back to WW2 and their clunkier guns – though co-op mode is a nice novelty. The graphics don’t work quite as well as they might either, looking lovely but slightly unreal and a little offputting for much of the pacific experience. Which brings me on to the worst flaw in CoD5- you can only play as an American or (thankfully) a Russian; this time around it seems for us, Englander, the war is over.

The most dedicated follower of current affairs will openly admit that University life provides a refreshing immunity against the whims and whispers of popular culture. It is perhaps unsurprising, then, that Channel 4’s recent reality show, The Family, didn’t have us all dashing back to worship the box in the corner.

Were you hooked? I was, although apparently I’m in a minority. Just three million souls, slightly above peak average for a prime-time slot, tuned in weekly at 9pm to see the frolics and foibles of the Hughes family – Dad Simon, Mum Jane, and their kids, Emily, Jessica, Charlotte and Tom. This two month eight-parter was intended essentially as C4’s response to the bear-baiting behind boring Big Brother, that banal, but sometimes stupidly accurate, barometer of modern British life. Step forward, please,

Mrs. Average and Mr. Blogs. Throw in some sprogs, bring in 21 cameras, set them rolling over 100 days. Oh, and don’t forget the cat.

All unremarkable, right? Yes, but that probably explains why we weren’t wrestling over the remote to get a glimpse. Things like Mum making tea, Dad doing DIY, children being churlish and the cat only coming back for food. A BBC preview captured just how predicable the format would be, highlighting that attention grabbing caption: ‘”[they] wear pyjamas.”

Contrite, contrived, edited; airbrushed, bleeped and altered, say those who most object. While I’ll concede the programme was pretty humdrum, bar about halfway through the series when Simon started switching off cameras in a temper, the familiarity really captivated my interest.

As a 17 year old college student, Charlotte squirmed at her parents’ kisses, and Simon screamed those oftheard words: “You treat this place like a hotel!” I was, inevitably, recalling my own similar experiences. The little things, and all that.

Of course, The Family also satisfied the innate, although sometimes un-

healthy, interest everybody has in other people’s business: the he-said, shesaid malarkey that keeps our gossip cycle spinning. I personally realised, too, that I craved narrative most, the cliff-hanger: what will happen next?

As a fly-on-the-wall, it proved that the very best innovations come when minor tweaks are made to existing formats – in this case reality TV – even if, at first, a voyeuristic observation of another’s mostly mundane daily routine felt almost morally wrong.

Yawns must be stifled now the makers of the show have agreed to do a second series though. The fact that film-renowned director Johnson Smith treats it as an art form, and C4 say the Hughes clan cannot reappear because they’re “no longer an ordinary family,” doesn’t help matters.

They’re right, really, but such clamour surely devalues the whole point of offthe-cuff realism.

People may call me naive for feeling cheated. But the day the second run debuts is the day this show slides from an honourable against-the-grain crusade into just another slice of microwave television. From now on, don’t watch this space.

Fancy being part of the Arts and Entertainments Team in 2009?

E-mail Tallie Kane at: artsents@upsu.net

14

Purple Wednesday Wednesday 10th November 2008

Sports

Gimme an S-U-P-E-R-W-E-D-N-E-S-D-A-Y Marie Gomes

The Cheerleading Squad have had an extremely busy couple of weeks.

First, some of the old girls went to support and cheer on the Portsmouth City Basketball Club, The Smugglers.

When we got there, we got a few funny looks from the oldies, with us in our short skirts, but we carried on and did a few stretches and warmed up. Split into two teams, we were at either end cheering on Portsmouth as they played Hackney.

In the first quarter, we started with a pretty standard straddle extension.

Once we had done our cheer and finished in our stunt position, Ellie then had to get the crowd going a bit by yelling “C’mon Portsmouth, let’s hear

it!” Only then did we manage to get a clap and a cheer back.

Half time went a lot better, with our perky little dance and a lot more applause and gratification. Unfortunately things didn’t go so well on the court afterwards; the Smugglers lost by a couple of points.

Once it was all over, we waited around for the guys, to go to Nando’s and have a bit of a chat. Claudia got straight in there with the players, doing a cheeky little one on one with some of them, showing off her skills and actually managing to get in a few baskets.

The main event for the club however was definitely Super Wednesday.

Nervous anticipation encouraged the girls to arrive at Langstone fairly early. We all seemed to huddle around,

waiting for the burgers to be cooked.

As soon as Mario had got his cook on though, Jess got put in the stocks. We got our trusty Fresher Pascale to throw the first sponge, with Jess screaming “Squeeze it first!” Safe to say, she didn’t, and Jess got soaked. Water all down her back, over her clothes, and mascara everywhere. She managed to bring in a few quid though. We also had a few of the girls from events helping out with raising money by making people guess a teddy’s name and how many sweets were in the jar.

We waited around and watched the rugby, practised our stunts, and then went to watch Dance do their performance. We were on straight after, to a bit of a rocky start. The music was so quiet that the girls starting us off missed their beats. But we started

over and got into it fine. No one fell to the floor, so it’s a good outcome for all. We seemed to have quite a large audience, which is always good, but it meant the pressure was on, as for once we actually know the people we are performing in front of.

The Dance club roped us into a little masterclass, where we learnt the Jingle Bell Rock dance, “Mean Girls” style, in partners. We went through the dance so so so many times, but despite this I still managed to mess it up when we had to do it in front of the dancers. Apparently we all looked like we were enjoying ourselves, although I think they may just have been being polite! But, the day was a great success, with a good turn out from the Cheerleaders and was good to actually spend a Wednesday at Langstone.

photo: Jessica Pelizzari

Tennis thrash Kingston Coaches’ Corner Peter Burjan

The Portsmouth Mens’ Second Tennis team recorded yet another win, to solidify their place at the top of the league table; still undefeated in the league and now just three wins away from securing promotion in their first season.

The doubles got underway at 1pm, with George Calderera partnering Alex Lewis, and Jamie White teaming up with his usual partner Peter Burjan. George and Alex were perfectly on fine form and dominated their opponents at both the baseline and the net. Kingston had no answers to the precision play of the Portsmouth pair, and were swept away, with the eventual score being 8-1.

The other doubles match was a much tighter affair. Great tennis was coming from both sides, with some fantastic rallies and all four players coming up with great shots. No team could get a foothold on the match, so it went to a tie break at 8-8.

Unfortunately for Portsmouth, they narrowly lost the match 8-9 in a tie that could have gone either way. This left the score at 1-1 going into the four singles matches.

First to get underway was Alex Lewis. His opponent was constantly

frustrating Alex, with a constand ability to keep looping balls back deep at the baseline which can be very hard work to play against.

However, some great attacking play

by Alex saw him consistantly able to get an edge in the rallies and when he got a chance to finish off professionaly recieving the well deserved points, he took them superbly. He quickly took the first set 6-2 and did not look back from there, easily breezing through the second set 6-0 in a great performance.

Next to finish was Peter Burjan. He had to play a different style of opponent, who was much more aggressive but also less consistent. Peter started strongly, taking the first three games with ease by dominating the rallies and moving his opponent from corner to corner, before finishing the points off convincingly. His opponent was comprehensively outplayed, failing to take a single game off Peter, who went on to win 6-0 6-0 in an oustanding whitewash.

Jamie White was the next to play his singles; a very high skilled match.

The number ones battled it out and it was Jamie who shot out to an early lead with well constructed points and deadly finishing at the net. His opponent played very well, offering resistance by coming up with some

Sports » Swimming

fantastic shots, but Jamie was always equal to them as he went on to win the first set 6-2. The second set saw more excellent tennis, and at one point Jamie was down 4-3. However, he somehow found an even higher gear to which the Kingston man could find no answer; Jamie went on to win the match 6-2 6-4.

Last to finish was George Calderera, who was in an extremely tight match. Both players were hitting the ball well, with some outstanding winners coming from George, which propelled him into an early lead. He kept up the high standard of play as he went on to win the first set 6-3. However, his opponent did not give up and continued to play some very nice tennis in a very evenly contested second set, which saw the Kingston man just take it 3-6. George refused to let dropping a set knock his confidence; he showed great skill and character to get on top of his opponent early on in the third. After some grueling rallies and some great winners, George was able to finally take the match 6-2 in the third set and complete the victory for Portsmouth.

Final Score Portsmouth: 9 Kingston: 1

Chris Hewett

Bowling is one of the mo st technical part of the game of cricket. Mastering the technique itself is difficult enough, but to bowl with speed and accuracy takes a great deal of work.

Professional bowlers can regularly hit speeds of up to 95 mph and put the ball exactly where they want it to land. The ability to do this requires bringing together several different skills and techniques to produce the perfect delivery.

Not every bowler’s action is the same. However there are several basic principles which all bowlers need to adhere to. Perhaps the most important is to set a good rhythm throughout the various stages of bowling.

Many will find that sprinting up to the line and trying to bowl as quickly as possible actually slows their action down because their arms and legs become totally out of synch. It is this reason that makes executing the run up correctly so important. A steady and rhythmic run up ensures the bowler is balanced at the point of delivery and is therefore able to produce a smoother action and a more controlled release. You will never see a professional bowler begin their run up from different points.

The bowling action itself is what generates the majority of pace for the bowler. Keeping a straight arm is not only part of the laws of the game, but it can also benefit a bowler’s action as well. A straighter arm will improve accuracy and allow the bowler to manipulate the movement of the ball in the air (the swing).

The basic science behind swing bowling is that one side of the ball is smoother than the other and therefore moves quicker through the air than the other side. This causes the ball to bend in the air, or “swing”. A team will try to shine up one side of the ball, hence why you see cricketers around the country rubbing red leather balls on their crotch every weekend!

Several elements combine to make this work, but the grip and the follow through, (as shown in the diagram) can often be the most important.

The head position is also something of great importance when bowling.

This is another aspect that contributes to the balance of the bowler at the point of deliver. A good bowler will keep their head straight throughout the delivery in order to maintain accuracy, but it can also contribute to the pace of the ball, ensuring the arm comes through straight and the follow through is maintained.

Sports » Tchoukball

Swimmers qualify for final 1st & 2nd Teams trampled by Rhinos Rob Knott & Sophie Castle

The University of Portsmouth Swim Team (UPST) traveled to Hatfield, Hertfordshire this week to take part in the Team National Qualifiers; after winning the Division 3 South title last year, this year was always going to be more challenging.

Sitting comfortably in fourth position for the majority of the competition, the swimmers then dropped to fifth place at the end of the individual events. With only the top four teams qualifying for the finals in March, it all came down to the final relays.

A big final effort saw the team overtaking Imperial and taking back

fourth place by one point, qualifying for the BUCS National Team Finals, to be held in Sheffield in March. Valuable points came from Jack Smith in the 50 Breast, Louisa Herring in the 200m Free, Liam Small in the Backstroke and Elsa Dabet in the 100m Free.

Special mention should also go to Lauren Cook, who stepped in to replace the university’s experienced breaststroke.

The University team are hoping to have a good training period leading into the competition, giving them the best opportunity to achieve a great result when the best from the South collide head to head with the best from the North.

Oliver Laurenson-Gore

On Tuesday 25th November, the University of Portsmouth’s Tchoukball Club played their first home match against an older and more experienced team - The Portsmouth Rhinos. The Rhinos players are made up of some of the men who play for the Portsmouth Tchoukball Club, who the University Team practices with on a weekly basis.

The University club has been growing superbly, with a great number of students willing to get involved in the new sports club; this was the first time we have fielded two teams. The match took place straight after an hour long

training session at Portsmouth High School, which was probably not a good idea! It was also harder to control the court in this match, as we only used seven players, and we usually train with nine to a team.

Despite this, the game started well for Portsmouth, with the Rhinos making mistakes early on, and the Portsmouth Team took advantage of this.

However, what the Rhinos showed them was that they had much more skill in the placement of their shots and had far more match experience.

Jenny Jottpunkt, the First Team’s Centre Pivot - who plays in the centre of the court, switching the ball from end to end - played extremely well. Chris Westwood and Jamie Warner, both

the most experienced players, scored most of the points in the first match from their respective shooting positions. The problem came in defending the shots and taking the pick ups from the Rhinos - not even Seb Fernando, who has made some superb catches so far this year, could stop the power of the opposition. The score at the end of the First Team’s Match was 33-17 to the Rhinos.

The Second Team then played the Ragged Rhinos. The opposing team only had seven starting players with no subs, so they could not give a fresh look to the side. The Portsmouth team noted this and felt that a result could be on the cards. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and the Rhinos

15

Purple Wednesday Wednesday 10th November 2008

Sports

Double joy for Lacrosse Team This week it’s the “kiss ballers” vs the “egg chasers”, for the ultimate battle to decide who is best at handling your balls, hands or feet!

Name: Richard Weymouth

Name: Paul Kirtley

Club: Rugby

Club: KissFootball

What has been your most embarrassing moment?

Having my ex-girlfriend walk in on me, in bed with her mother... Ooops!

What has been your most embarrassing moment?

I got “Dick of the day” away at Goldsmiths, so was wearing the baby suit on the coach and could not stop gettin cramp. I was subsequently violated by one of my team mates and there’s video/photo evidence all over Facebook!

When were you last naked in front of someone?

Last Wednesday, Naked Karaoke!

When were you last naked in front of someone?

Naked Calendar. Bad times! I’m currently on a course improving my chat up lines though, so by January I should be able to update that answer!

When was the last time you cried?

I was close to tears on the 23rd Oct 2008 - Rugby boys know why...

When was the last time you cried?

Tears of joy when we beat the Seconds, and pain, ‘cause I got injured after four minutes. It was one hell of a four minutes though!

What’s been your most expensive night out?

Twickenham, England v Wales: food £45, Ticket £60, Transport £30, drink £100, Memories £PRICELESS!

What’s been your most expensive night out?

Probably over £100. Heavy one, followed by Casino and Ken’s; those set menus really get ya after midnight!

If you were invisible for the day, what would you do?

Go round to your Mum’s house...

If you were invisible for the day, what would you do?

Too much to list: steal a lot of cash and get the boys back for all their banter!

What was the last lie you told?

“No mother, I’m not going to drink that much tonight.” (on Wednesday morning)

What was the last lie you told?

Told my parents I’d spent all my money on textbooks so they would bail me out!

Who was the last Sporto you chatted up or got chatted up by?

Hard to remember... so many! Some people say I’m flirtatious... I’m not sure where they get that impression!

Who was the last Sporto you chatted up or got chatted up by?

Faye from Netball; that message wasn’t from me though, you know what I’m talking about!

What did your last text message say and who was it from?

“What the fuck happend last night?

Did you put me to bed?” - my housemate

What did your last text message say and who was it from?

A mate who is a Spurs fan, giving me banter ‘cause they beat Watford last night.

The mens team rally round to support the girls efforts Rachael Penycate

Wednesday 3rd December was a truly successful day for the University’s Lacrosse teams, as the men triumphed over Royal Holloway with a 17-2 win whilst the ladies took on the University of Kent, and secured their second win of the season with a 6-1 score.

The boys arrived at Royal Holloway t feeling confident for a win, despite e the fact that many of the original First t Team line up were missing. Instead, t seven Freshers were drafted in and, n to the delight of the skipper, James e Agar, they did not fail to impress as - the team powered on to secure a comn fortable win.

All in all, it was a generally good g natured game, with the Freshers s adapting brilliantly to Pompey’s set- tled attack style of play. Our boys r dominated the majority of the match e - so much so that by the final quarA ter, keeper Oli Bailey could be found f in midfield, Jack Williams in attack - with a 6ft D-pole, and top goal scorer d CJ Millington playing in goal. During y this quarter, a lagging Holloway side managed to bag a second goal but, of e course, by then it was impossible to w catch up with Pompey, and the game ) ended at 17-2 to Portsmouth.

Singled out by Captain Agar was g CJ Millington for his eight goal contri. bution, and also for his great achieve- ment of both MoM and DoD (for t breaking his opponent’s collarbone!) r Also highly commended by the skip- per was Jack Williams for his number n of assisted goals and general level of o play, Matt Stephens for a superb goal, m and Rich Moyes, as a Fresher who - added to the impressive goal hoard.

Commendable performances also

stormed ahead by confusing the University side with “multiple switching”, whereby the two shooters on each side switched the ball between themselves from one side to another. This meant that the Portsmouth defenders had to run around the “D’ to stop the ball from hitting the ground. By half time the score was 16-2 to the Rhinos. Some great play by the uni team, particularly Olaolu Lawal as right shooter and Andrew Roach in defence, brought some points in for the Portsmouth Team but it was not enough and the eventual result was Portsmouth 7 Rhinos 32.

The two matches were highly enjoyable and full of excitement. Hopefully the few spectators the on the

came from Fresher Jonathan Kemp, who faced up like a far more experienced player, and also Dan Garbett, who was playing his first game in the defense unit.

Meanwhile at home, the girls knew that a win was within their reach as they faced the ladies of the University of Kent, with whom they were tied at the time in the BUCS league.

Steph Box was the first to score for the ladies, and the early lead encouraged the girls to simply strive for more. Nicola Davey, who later went on to win MoM for her amazing skill and level of play, added another goal for the girls, but Kent were not willing to take an early defeat lying down, and quickly responded, through their slightly over-passionate captain, who scored a goal only through sheer determination.

However it was not enough to rouse the dying morale of her team, as our girls continued to smash and grab the goals at any given opportunity. Amy “Toronto” Scott had one goal disallowed for stepping inside the goal crease, but later made up for her error when she scored a goal after the ball deflected off the Kent goalie.

Pompey captain, Suzy Pope, who refereed the match, found it hard to control her delight after Steph Box whacked another ball into the net.

Much like the King’s captain a few games beforehand, the Kent captain now became even more infuriated at the prospect of losing, and, in one bizarre incident, threw her stick down in protest and stormed off the pitch, much to the amusement of the Portsmouth team. Although Portsmouth took a much more conventional approach to the game, a piece of unorthodox behavior by Claire O’Gorman

made us all chuckle, when she performed a set of lunges more in keeping with a high board diver than a lacrosse player, and missed out on catching a pass…

When Nicola Davey fired another two goals into the net, it was obvious who would win the match, and Kent knew this, as one of their players remarked, possibly truthfully after their performance: “I don’t want to play anymore. This game is shit!”

Well, not from Pompey’s point of view it wasn’t!

So, as the whistle blew the Pompey girls were jubilant to know that they had achieved their second win of the season, and were, once again, pleased to prove all their critics wrong, i.e.

Darby.

It’s looking promising for both lacrosse teams at the moment; the boys need to either win or draw against Hertfordshire this Wednesday in order to win their league, whilst the girls are currently sitting at third position in their league, and therefore must definitely be in the running for Most Improved Team of the Year at the AU Awards next spring. This is something that none of us could ever have dreamt possible last year and would have been as likely as us winning the lottery jackpot two weeks running!

Congratulations to all of you - bring on our next fixtures and remember: sticks up, look sharp!

Final Scores

Mens’ Firsts - 17 Royal Holloway - 2 Womens’ Firsts - 6 Kent Uni - 1

Sports » Sports Officer

An apology sidelines enjoyed themselves. Next year promises to be an exciting one, with the First Universities Tchoukball Competition in May to look forward to.

Final Scores

Tchoukball 1sts - 17 Portsmouth Rhinos - 33 Tchoukball 2nds - 7 Portsmouth Rhinos - 32 If you would like any more information about the sport then look at the website: www.uoptchoukballclub.sports. officelive.com

Last month you may have seen an article regarding inappropriate behavior from the Rugby Club and the penalties imposed. Since then, numerous individuals from the local community have come forward, casting doubt on the original claims. As a result, the UPSU has exonerated the Rugby Club of all charges and will not be punishing them. I would like to say that, whilst the UPSU acted on the information received at the time, we are sorry for punishing the Club when it now appears they are innocent. The UPSU expressed at the time that the accusations were out of character and that the Rugby Club work very hard both on and off the field to make their club a success - long may this continue. SL

Super Wednesday scores well with spectators P WDL Basketball Women’s 1st 7 7 0 0

photos: Tom Worman Chris Hewett

It was a cold yet bright morning that greeted the organisers of the University’s first “Super Wednesday” last week and, as the canopies went up and the spectators and teams stepped off the buses, there was anticipation that this was going to be a day to remember.

Among the days events were Firsts and Thirds football and rugby, as well as netball, lacrosse and hockey. The opposing teams began to arrive, to an atmosphere of excitement that was building right up to the start of the first match.

The ‘festival of sport’ was kicked off by the Netball Team, who got off to a flying start, thrashing their opponents in front of a 50 strong crowd, all cheering on Team Pompey.

The backdrop of the Rugby and Football Teams warming up in preparation for their big matches hinted at the professional and serious attitude displayed by Team Pompey throughout the afternoon. The away teams, it seemed, were going to have a tough day of it.

This meant that the Football Mens’ First Team were up next, and they drew a strong crowd to what would be the day’s biggest football match.

The cheerleaders warmed up on the sidelines for their half time entertainment as Portsmouth took the lead, sending the slightly chilly spectators wild(ish!).

Portsmouth managed to hold on until the final whistle, and so the attention turned to the Mens’ Rugby, where a close game was being played out on the other side of the ground.

With confusion as to what the score was, many of the spectators were having just as much fun trying to guess as they were cheering on their team, but, with just five minutes to go, the first team were just three points ahead. A big effort from the Portsmouth lads held off the visitors though, ensuring that they kept up the good run of results by Team Pompey on the day.

By mid afternoon, the music was blaring, and the bar and BBQ were filled up with spectators enjoying the entertainment put on by Portsmouth’s students.

Womens’ Football provided some of the most dramatic moments of the day; in the five minutes that this reporter saw, there was a goal, an air kick by one of the opposition and a paramedic on the pitch!

Good results from hockey and the

rest of the netball teams contributed to what was a successful day, both on the pitch and off it.

Kate Hyder of the AU exec, one of the main organisers, said: “For a first time event the day was a real success; hopefully we can build on this and make days like these even more popular in the future”.

As the light faded on the Langstone pitches, and the canopies were taken down, there was disappointment that it was over, yet a feeling that this was going to be something to continue in the coming years.

Cheerleading

Talk about their experience at Super Wednesday

» 14

Hockey Men’s 1st

7 700

Netball 4th

6 600

Rugby Women’s 1st

5 500

Lacrosse Men’s 1st

5 410

Football Men’s 6th

12 1011

Hockey Women’s 2nd

10 8 1 1

Netball 5th

6 501

Squash Men’s 1st

5 401

Football Men’s 3rd

12 9 1 1

Rugby Men’s 2nd

8 602

Hockey Women’s 1st

8 602

Football Men’s 1st

10 7 1 2

Netball 3rd

7 502

Football Men’s 4th

12 8 0 4

Hockey Men’s 4th

6 402

Football Men’s 2nd

11 7 0 4

Squash Men’s 3rd

7 403

Rugby Union Men’s 4th 8 4 0 4 Netball 6th

6 303

Lacrosse Women’s 1st

5 212

Rugby 1st XV SESSA

5 203

Football Women’s 2nd

6 213

Rugby Union Men’s 3rd 8 3 0 5 Badminton Men’s 2nd

7 214

Hockey Men’s 5th

5 104

Tennis Men’s 1st

7 115

Basketball Men’s 2nd

7 106

Badminton Men’s 1st

7 106

Sports » National

Sports » Rugby Club

Write for PWs

Octopush British Champions

“

PWs needs your club news!

November was again time for the annual British Nautilus Championship tournament, held at Ponds Forge in Sheffield. It’s like the Premier League of Octopush (Underwater Hockey), with five divisions this year. Members of the University club, Dan “Tug” Morgan and Adrian “Fraggle” Federico, joined forces with the local Southsea club and entered in the first division.

It was a tough day, with very strong international players at this level, but the team work saw us through the first three games. Then it was time to play Leeds, an aggressive team; we got through the first quarter without any goals, until Fraggle managed to break through the ranks to

The pressure was on into the second half, and Portsmouth held on pretty well, but unfortunately Leeds broke through when we were a player down to equalise. With only a few minutes left, Portsmouth pushed hard and got the winning goal just in time to finish 2-1.

The following game, against the West London A Team, saw an incredible come back. From being 4-1 down in the first half, the team worked hard, with several amazing plays by Tug, to finish the game in a 6-6 draw.

So, on to the final game of the day against the favorites, Southport, who had won all their games and conceded few goals.

Knowing they would be in for a dif-

ficult match, Portsmouth tried to stay positive and focus on playing their best game. The starting buzzer went off, and to everybody’s amazement (including our own) we scored two goals within three minutes! Southport didn’t know what was happening and we continued with our play, getting another two goals before the end of the first half. Starting the second half 4-0 down, Southport was a broken team and looked demoralised; we enjoyed the second half though, finishing the game 6-1 in the end. Best of all, we were now the British Champions!

If you’re interested in trying out Octopush, just come along to our training sessions. Check out our club website: www.pompeyocto.co.uk

The UPSU exonerated the Rugby Club of all charges and will not be punishing them... ...it now appears they are innocent More on page 15

...and features, and photos, and socials, and anything else you want to tell us about your club! It’s easy to get a mention in PWs - just e-mail everything to sportnews@upsu.net, visit www.upsu.net/newsdesk, or come in to the Sabb Office at the Union and have a chat with us any time!

For more information, see: upsu.net/p/2166