inning My Worth on the Eternal Elaborate clothespin chore charts, beautiful cupcakes with glittering rainbows, and carefully sewn sleepover bags stare out at me from my laptop. I look at my Pinterest boards, littered with the evidence of my inadequacies as a mom, and sigh. Why can’t I be motivated to learn how to sew? Why do my cupcakes always come from a box? Why do my attempts at job charts always fail desperately and miserably?
“Why do I seem to never measure up?” The words slip out into the air between my nose and the screen, like an uninvited invasion of spiders. I watch them weave a web of guilt around my mind, invisible strands, but strong as steel. Caught in a trap of my own making, my mind starts to tell me that my kids are missing out because I should be able to do more, make more, be more… Rescue comes in the shape of a five-year-old boy. My knight in shining armor, decked in green shorts and a blue shark t-shirt, he brushes aside my guilt ridden cobwebs with one fell swoop. Climbing on my lap for a hug and a kiss, he leans into my ear and whispers, “You are the very best mommy”. I squeeze him close, breathing in the smell of his strawberry shampoo before he dashes away, and suddenly, I can see clearly once more. But what happens next time I am pulled towards inadequacy and my knight in green shorts isn’t around to save me? How do I keep myself untangled from the guilt that threatens to stifle me? I need backup. I need resources. 48
By: Rachel Hammond
The first thing I am reminded of is a quote that I heard recently that essentially says, “Be the best at being you”. I love this idea, both for being a mom and for living life. With my writing, I don’t want to be the best “Ann Voskamp,” because that job is already filled. Instead, I want to be the best “Rachel Hammond” I can possibly be. Same goes for motherhood, which means every time I start to think about how terrible it is that I can’t even sew on a button, I need to focus on being the best at what makes me the best mom for my kids. Things like…
I am great at reading stories.
I play a mean game of freeze tag.
I love having the kids help me out in the kitchen.
I am great at playing make believe, especially restaurant.
I make awesome improvised trail mix.
I don’t mind bringing out the paint, glitter, and play-dough…all at the same time.
There are so many things that make me a good mom, and just like I want my kids to celebrate what makes them special, I need to do the same thing. If they see me being excited about the time we spend together playing Don’t Break the Ice instead of grumbling about why I didn’t construct my own game out of popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners, then they will too.
Praise and Coffee | Spring 2012