Radical Self Respect. Setting our Boundaries and Knowing our Non-Negotiables

Excerpt from Chapter in “30 Days to Transformation”

by Carolina M. Billings

Radical Self-Respect is about changing our mindsets and how we view our lives. It is about taking ownership and responsibility for how we treat ourselves and how we let other people treat us. It is understood that if we are constantly being mistreated, we are cooperating with the treatment. I hear many people complain that they would do anything for others, but they rarely get the same treatment.

Oddly enough, setting boundaries begins within. Boundaries are about what you choose to let into your life, whom you chose to let into your life and the experiences and life you choose to live.

Resources, Relationships, Self-Development and Self-Maintenance

The old master’s teachings, even after two and a half thousand years, are world-renowned, studied and practised by millions around the world. Reflecting and beginning to know who you are through the four fundamental areas of life, helps to understand not only who you are, but what you want and do not want to have in your life. After all, you are 100% in control of your mind, body and spirit.

Number One: Resources.

Having your resources at peace is like stretching a bow. The high is lowered, the low is raised, the excess is reduced, and the deficiency is replenished. The Way reduces the excess and replenishes deficiency. People’s way is often not so.

Flow and Balance

The concept of balancing the complementary parts can be applied to the subject of resource management. We have to make sure we don’t use too much of one resource at the expense of another.

When you use your talents in your job to excess, you get promoted, and you enjoy doing overtime at work, doing what you love, but you completely ignore your health. You don’t take your time to replenish your physical power in the long run. This can be very detrimental and can even shorten your life. If you use one resource to excess, you create disharmony in the universe.

Number Two: Relationships

Living in harmony means doing no harm and, moreover, nurturing, protecting, and contributing to the well-being of everything around you. As all humans are part of this universe, we have to see others as our extended family. We have to take care of each other.

“No person is an island, and being happy has much to do with the relationship between you and what surrounds you.”

Scientific studies prove the importance of having a healthy social life. For example, a Harvard study on adult development found that good relationships are the key factors that matter most for long-lasting happiness. Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. One of the most important ways to achieve lifelong happiness is to focus on meaningful relationships and on trying to improve or eliminate the bad relationships in our lives.

Number Three: Self-Development

Self-mastery plays a major key in people who spend enough time working on selfdevelopment and self-mastery to understand themselves in a better way. They can control their thoughts. They know how to avoid negative thinking. And they know how to learn from their mistakes.

“Growing personally leads to more happiness”

Number Four: Self-Maintenance

“How you treat yourself is teaching others how they can treat you”

The human body is said to have its own energy pattern, which is known as Zang Fu. The Zang Fu model has particular organs that correspond to the five elements; wood, fire, earth, metal, and water. The organs have Yin and Yang properties (energies) assigned which, if not balanced, will result in particular illnesses to keep the Yin and Yang energies in balance.

Putting it all together

To really start to implement this way of living I would love for you to consider three exercises. Past, Present, and Future.

Journaling & Self-Discovery Exercise #3. From now on…

6 Words To Help You Set Better Boundaries

Setting stronger boundaries is central to strong leadership and your ability to reign as sovereign queen of your own life. Think about it: having a border -- and lovingly protecting that border -- is what makes a nation a sovereign, independent nation. Whenever we travel, we always pass through border control. The officers are generally kind but firm (to me, anyway).

Kindness and firmness: the two greatest qualities of a boss boundary setter.

Chances are you need to set some boundaries in your own life right now. Maybe you need to delineate what you will and will not accept in your personal life or professional life. Perhaps you need to be clearer about what you will and will not tolerate from family members, clients, team members, etc.

In other words -- to reach your next level of success, you may need to become your own border control officer from time to time.

When that time comes, I have 6 words which -- when used in this exact order -- allow you to firmly and elegantly set boundaries, enforce them, and activate your power as sovereign queen of your own life and person.

Here they are:

That does not work for me.

A simple, straightforward phrase you can use anytime to firmly and respectfully set a boundary.

That does not work for me. No apology. Instead… “but this will” after all, every non-negotiable ought to have a negotiable on your own terms.

For the full chapter and all three exercises click here:

US - click here Canada - click here

My favorite pair of socks have an important message. They boldly tell anyone who sees my ankles: I’m silently correcting your grammar.

Yes. I’m one of those people. The people who wince when you say “between you and I” or “mis-chee-vee-ous’ or “me and him” are going to the store.

It’s not a superiority thing – a point of contention between my husband and me (see what I did there?) – instead, it is about taking ownership of your message and being the best version of yourself you can be.

The quality of your messaging is what separates the women from the girls. When you are clear, concise, and you speak to your intended audience in a way they understand, you can create a community of raving fans who will happily buy your books, products, and services. Why? Because you get them. Even more importantly, you will be making this world a better place because you will be sharing your incredible mission and vision with those around you.

I have been preparing for this role as Powerful Women Today Magazine Editor in one form or another for my entire career. Back in the aughts, I was walking red carpets with celebrities, writing press releases, and pitching stories to media outlets. After completing a master’s degree in Broadcast Journalism at the University of Southern California, I set to work as a news anchor and reporter on the radio then worked as a newspaper reporter.

The next step in my career won’t sound like a logical trajectory: I became an entrepreneur and designed and manufactured breastfeeding clothing which sold on Nordstrom.com, Amazon, and at boutiques across North America. Now as a book marketing strategist for nonfiction and children’s book authors, I help coaches, speakers, and consultants grow their audiences, make more money, and make a big impact with their book.

At Powerful Women Today Magazine, our mission is to elevate the conversation and empower our readers to feel like the world changers you are.

Cheers, Melanie

Connect with Melanie: https://www. linkedin.com/in/melanie-herschorn/