The Essentials of Conversation

by Judy Cirullo

Do you know that 90 percent of the time the person you are speaking to misses your meaning or intent? In these conversations, we talk over each other, we trigger each other, and stop listening.

When you have conversations that matter, which include the top skill of listening, engagement increases by 61 percent. In addition, highly engaged employees are almost 90 percent less likely to leave their employer. Conversations that include two-way feedback increase productivity by 2.5X, and employees who feel their voice is heard are more than four and a half times more likely to feel empowered to perform their best. All of these statistics are a result of having conversations that matter .

Would you like to see these types of results?

Conversations are the backbone of our relationships, interactions, business culture, and everyone we interact with. The most common theme I hear from my clients is that they avoid conversations that might be difficult, leading to a perpetuation of the situation as frustration, angst, and stress increase.

You are overcome by thoughts of “ if I leave it alone, it will go away,” “what if my employee quits?” “What if my family member doesn’t take it well and gets really upset?” These thoughts are what hold us back from having impactful dialogue that transforms our conversations and moves our relationships to a new level. For example, I had a client struggling with having a successful conversation with their employees. The motivation was low, the engagement was haphazard, and they had difficulty with the retention of their key employees. Whenever she wanted to have a one-one conversation with the employees, she became stressed, anxious, and frustrated. Ultimately, she avoided these conversations, only to realize that her business culture began to deteriorate, and the team morale suffered. Sound familiar?

To help her overcome these obstacles, I introduced my 3-step approach to mastering essential conversations:.

Step 1 - Deconstruct your past conversations. Think about what happened during a previously difficult or challenging conversation. With whom, where and when? Did it occur between tasks or meetings, during lunch, end of the day, over the phone, or even by email? What made it challenging or even successful?

Step 2 - Have the conversation. Spend the first few minutes focusing on making a personal connection. Yes, personal connection, even though it is at work. Ask simple questions such as “How are you?” “How are things going?” Listen more than talk, share background information, and clarify expectations. The conversation may address a specific situation that needs attention. While sharing perspectives it is critical to include 2-way feedback.

Step 3 - Follow up. Closing the loop on these conversations is crucial. As a leader or facilitator, your integrity is on full display. Include what you both agreed to: timeline, expectations, resources needed, follow-up ensures accountability and forward movement of the performance and, thus, success. Now you’re ready for your next essential conversation!

About the Author

Judy is a seasoned business owner, a former clinician for 40 years, and a certified professional coach (CPC) for leaders and teams. Having owned and operated 4 successful businesses, she has experienced challenges and frustrations of managing people while juggling all of the responsibilities of business and personal life. Judy is a certified coach through ICF (International Coach Federation), Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ), WHY Institute, and a Founding Actuator for the Culture Fix® Academy. I blend culture transformation with impactful conversations to drive results and outcomes so owners, leaders and teams can move beyond survival mode to sustainable growth. I do this through keynote speaking, interactive workshops, individual, group and team coaching. I enjoy hiking, exploring outdoors with my husband, cooking treats for others, playing with grandkids and sharing with our entire family.

https://www.linkedin.com/ in/judycirullo/ https://growstrongteams. com/