Better
Safer than Sorry What is safer sex?
A
n ex of mine once told me that as soon as boys figure out that they can get hard-ons, they start thinking about interesting places to put them. The vast array of human sexual behavior would seem to prove that to be true.
As unrealistic as it is, many would tell you that the only truly safe sex is no sex at all. But in case you count yourself among those who embrace all the beauties of being sexually active in the 21st century, there are things you can do to decrease your risk of getting HIV or passing it on. And for those who have already missed that boat, other sexually transmitted infections (STIs), as well as becoming a parent when you don’t want to be one or can’t do it well, can also be avoided by knowing what the risks are. Excluded from this is the risk of transmission from sharing needles for injection drug use—sex is the focus here. And for the purposes of this article, I’m going to presume that at least one partner involved is HIV-positive, though
much may be informative for HIV-negative folks who want to prevent HIV, other STIs, pregnancy, or don’t know the HIV status of partners. HIV is transmitted through blood, semen (cum), vaginal fluid, and breast milk. It is not transmitted through saliva, sweat, or tears. The virus itself is ironically fragile—it doesn’t live long outside the body and can’t survive digestive juices. It must get into your blood stream in order for it to begin its nefarious life cycle. Therefore, if your HIV-positive partner’s cum gets on the sheet and you accidentally roll over onto it, unless you have a deep, bleeding wound that comes in contact with it, you are not at risk. However, if you’re giving an HIVpositive man a blow job without a condom,
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have bleeding gums or open sores in your mouth, and his cum makes contact with those gums or sores, your risk increases. While most of the preventive measures mentioned here involve something other than what comes with or occurs in your body, there are some natural interventions such as the famous “withdrawal” method (pulling out just before cumming inside an orifice), cumming outside an orifice without ever penetrating (as in mutual masturbation—see “Safest”), and seroadaptive methods like sero-positioning (the practice of HIV-negative partners being the top [insertive] rather than the bottom [receptive] with partners who are positive or whose HIV status is unknown), and serosorting (choosing sexual partners who have the same HIV status). Of course, condom use increases the preventive effects of almost all of these methods. While we can’t begin to cover every possible scenario in the variety of ways we celebrate sexuality, the following are some
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By Sue Saltmarsh