CARING PROFESSIONAL Julia Cameron - celebrant Julia Cameron tells Ponsonby News she is "a proud and loyal JAFA": she has lived in the Ponsonby/Herne Bay area for more than 30 years. “My husband and I married 12 years ago after being together for 12 years prior,” she says. “Together we share three daughters and six grandchildren.” How did you come to be a celebrant? I was working at TV3 when a friend living in the United States came in to see me. She had come home for a wedding at which she was the celebrant. I had an immediate epiphany: that was what I should be doing. It was 2000 and I did the AUT celebrant’s course. Whilst doing the course, one of my dearest friends contracted cancer and asked me to ‘do’ her funeral. This was her last gift to me, (putting me in front of a funeral director), which gave me the opportunity to pursue this career. Six years later I became a full-time celebrant. What do you love about your job? I have never stopped loving being a celebrant. Every ceremony is different, stimulating and challenging. There is a wonderful sense of worth and achievement having conducted a funeral (or wedding) and believing I have made the event special to all parties. With funerals: to know you have helped those grieving to accept and move on with their lives appreciating and acknowledging the importance of the person they have lost. With weddings: I ask the couple, if they wish, to provide me with their stories. It is so much fun getting this information and then writing it for inclusion within the ceremony. Over the years I have conducted weddings and funerals for many so-called famous people. From weddings for sportspeople like Martin Crowe and Daniel Vettori, to funerals for politicians such as Bob Tizard and Phil Amos. However, my favourite ‘famous’ funeral
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was Sir Fred Allen’s at Eden Park. There were seven knights present (including Sir Fred), but my highlight was seeing the stunned look on the faces of the men present (of which there was a vast majority), when a woman walked in to lead the service... and also nearly losing all feeling in my hand when Waka Nathan shook it in his huge paw! What do you find challenging? With funerals, being 100% sure that I have the details correct and then expressing them in a way which is right for that family. Every ceremony must be unique. I have the ability to hear a ‘throwaway’ line, which can be of profound importance. I am careful to ask the right questions and, more importantly, to hear the answers. The most challenging of all are funerals for children. Being a mother I can get partway to the parents’ incredible grief and terrible loss, while understanding that unless one has actually suffered this type of despair, one will never fully comprehend it. I can, however, understand the hopelessness and anguish families feel with suicide, as my own brother chose that path. How do you differ from other celebrants? Celebrancy is totally people-centric. To be a good celebrant you must like people. You have to be able to put those with whom you are dealing at ease, so they are comfortable telling you things that are private and special to them. To empathise and let them know that this service will be exactly as they want it to be. Can you share an anecdote about your work? I did a wedding a few years ago where an identical twin married an identical twin. The groom’s brother had a fabulous time being kissed by everyone - especially the young women - who all thought they were greeting the groom.
What do you do to care for yourself? I have an innate ability not to carry ‘baggage’. I put 100% into every ceremony, preparing, delivering and critiquing to the best of my ability, understanding that when it’s over, it’s over... and I can come home and have a glass of wine! What's your advice to people seeking to become a celebrant? Take the course offered by the Celebrant School. It is invaluable. Be absolutely sure that this is truly your calling. You have people’s lives and hearts at stake, so what you do is profoundly important and cannot be treated lightly. Show respect, do your homework and remember that humour can sometimes be the right thing. JULIA CAMERON CELEBRANT, T: 09 376 2755, www. juliacameroncelebrant.co.nz
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