D4 Thursday, 07.24.2014 The Daily Herald
DAILY CROSSWORD
In-laws’ nasty comments overheard Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Yesterday, I was putting my son down for a nap in my in-laws’ guest room. Through the magic of their HVAC system, I could hear my mother- and sister-in-law tearing me apart — everything from my shyness (they think I’m cold) to the value of my work (“I can’t believe people get paid for that!”) to my mother’s health (“such a [bleeping] drama-queen hypochondriac” — my mother has had cancer twice) to my haircut (I agree, but I can’t control how fast my hair grows). I’ve always done my best to maintain a good relationship with my in-laws and had a feeling they talk about me behind my back (because they talk about everyone else), but I never thought it would be this hurtful and bad. I haven’t talked to my husband about this yet. Should I confront them (making me an eavesdropper in their eyes)? Just let it go? Let my husband confront them? Start repeating their exact words back to them in a seemingly innocent manner? — Overheard Talk to your husband. He should know what you’re up against and be an equal partner in the discussion about how you deal with his
CAROLYN HAX TELL ME ABOUT IT
health starts failing. [rolling credits] But we have to start somewhere: Remind yourself they don’t hate you this much. Instead, they use you (and apparently others) to tighten their bond and feel superior. Scapegoating has to be as old as humanity. I’m sorry you’re being used that way, but it is surmountable, if you want it to be.
family from now on. You might decide not to change much (since the nastiness isn’t new, it’s just confirmed), but it’ll still feel better as a joint decision. If I were writing this as a movie with a happy ending, he’d be furious on your behalf and give you license to avoid his folks; you’d appreciate that but agree to suck it up periodically so he and your son wouldn’t lose this family entirely. He would then let his family know what was overheard, that’s he’s embarrassed to be associated with them, and that he expects basic civility or he’s finished with them. They, chastened and embarrassed, would admit they went too far and make inclusive overtures of toward you. You’d briefly weigh flipping them the fattest bird ever, but opt against and return the kindness. Fast forward 15 years, and you’re the one your motherin-law wants around when her
Re: Overhearing: My childhood memories are of my mom [complaining] and gossiping about our entire extended family on the car rides home from visits. I didn’t know any better so started doing the same thing with my friends. One person had the guts to confront me and it was like a light bulb going off; I’ve completely changed my behavior but I cringe when I think back on some of the unnecessary crap I said about people I really liked. I really think your husband should call them out, since it could take just one time for them to realize how mean they were. If they get defensive, then it’s time to think about distancing yourself. — Used to Be the Nasty One Here’s hoping they’re as selfaware as you are, and as willing to challenge themselves. (c) 2014, Washington Post Writers Group
SUPER QUIZ Subject: BACKGAMMON, BINGO, BLACKJACK AND BRIDGE (e.g., The Bermuda Bowl is for which game? Answer: (Contract) Bridge.) FRESHMAN LEVEL 1. What point count is the target in Blackjack? 2. A typical Bingo card utilizes the numbers 1 through ____. 3. What term describes the partner of the declarer in Bridge? GRADUATE LEVEL 4. In Blackjack, how many points is counted for an ace? 5. In Bridge, what is winning all but one of the tricks called? 6. What number is “two little ducks” in Bingo?
CLASSIC PEANUTS
BIRTHDAYS PH.D. LEVEL 7. How many triangles are on each side of a Backgammon board? 8. In Bridge, a hand with no card over 9 is called a ____. 9. Which numbers may appear under the “G” column in Bingo? ANSWERS: 1. Twenty-one. 2. Seventy-five. 3. Dummy. 4. Either 1 or 11. 5. Small slam. 6. Twenty-two. 7. Twelve. 8. Yarborough. 9. 46 through 60. Super Quiz is a registered trademark of K. Fisher Enterprises Ltd. (c) 2014 Ken Fisher North America Syndicate Inc.
Political cartoonist Pat Oliphant is 79. Comedian Ruth Buzzi is 78. Actor Mark Goddard is 78. Actor Dan Hedaya is 74. Actor Chris Sarandon is 72. Comedian Gallagher is 68. Actor Robert Hays is 67. Actor Michael Richards is 65. Actress Lynda Carter is 63. Movie director Gus Van Sant is 62. Actor Kadeem Hardison is 49. Actress-singer Kristin Chenoweth is 46. Actress Laura Leighton is 46. Actor John P. Navin Jr. is 46. Actress-singer Jennifer Lopez is 45. Basketball player-turnedactor Rick Fox is 45. Actress Rose Byrne is 35. Country singer Jerrod Niemann is 35. Actress Elisabeth Moss is 32. Actress Anna Paquin is 32. Actress Megan Park is 28. Actress Mara Wilson is 27. Rock singer Jay McGuiness (The Wanted) is 24. Actress Emily Bett Rickards (TV: Arrow”) is 23. TV personality Bindi Irwin is 16. Thought for Today: “Everything has two sides — the outside that is ridiculous, and the inside that is solemn.” — Olive Schreiner, South African author and feminist (1855-1920). Associated Press
PEARLS BEFORE SWINE
TUNDRA
THE BRILLIANT MIND OF EDISON LEE
SIX CHIX
BUCKLES
DILBERT
WUMO
DENNIS THE MENACE
CORNERED
THE BETTER HALF
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ZIGGY