Friday, March 21, 2014
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Overcoming the fear of visiting ill seniors or elders For years, one of the most difficult activities in my life, and one that I tried to find every excuse I could think of to avoid, was visiting an older sick friend or loved one, especially if they were in the hospital or a nursing home. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, or that I didn’t want to see them, but rather it was a fear that I wouldn’t know what to say, and the fact that such places just made me uncomfortable. However, as I’ve grown older I’ve come to realize just how selfish and inhibiting this attitude and fear had become in my life. So much so that I’ve been deeply convicted and convinced that I need to change and overcome
Bravo Sen. Jan Angel We thank you for holding out for fiscal responsibility and stable funding for the needs of the homeless. Imagine what Olympia would be like if a majority of the legislators were look-
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specific reason and city council business should have precedence over the scheduling of any other activities for that room. Even better, these study sessions should be fully recorded with video and audio via BKAT instead of
this fear of visiting. And frankly, I suspect that I’m not alone — that others also struggle with these Senior Life 101 feelings of inadequacy and fear. So how does one go R. Johnson about mak- Carl Community ing such Relations Director Kitsap Alliance of “change?” We first Resources for Elders need to confirm that the person we’re visiting desires our visit, and then be convinced that our visit will be encouraging when we do. In other words, be able to envision
your visit as making a difference in the life of your friend or loved one. Second, understand that a visit doesn’t require that you have to do all the talking. In fact, the more you are able to engage your friend or loved one in meaningful conversation, where you explore things that are of interest to them, the more fulfilling the time will be. Third, understand that it’s not how much time you spend, but the quality of time that matters. Often spending too much time in a visit can be less helpful than just a few minutes. Be flexible, and be aware that your friend or loved one simply needs to
know that someone cares, and that your being there is how you communicate that fact. Finally, make your visits a priority, not just an obligation. Plan ahead. Put it on your calendar, and make it as important as any other appointment you schedule. Once you commit to overcoming your fears, and feelings of inadequacy, and genuinely reach out to those in need of your love and attention, you need to be aware of how to make your visits as meaningful as possible. So here are a few tips on how best to plan your visit: When to visit: Telephone ahead and request permission to visit. Or, when you are visiting,
set a time together for the next visit. They may feel more energetic or social at certain times of the day. If you establish the time together, the visit will be more successful. In addition, they can look forward to your arranged visit, which extends the pleasure. But remember, they may decide not to have you visit and you must respect that decision. Preparing for the visit: Once the date and time has been established, you should give some thought to what you will do when you get there. If you plan ahead, you may avoid an unsatisfying visit filled with complaints. And remember — your
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
ing out for the taxpayers when crafting legislation. Years of Democratic rule have created a mess that will take a long time to clean up. She saw a problem with the homeless legislation, Senate Bill 5875, and rightly put the brakes on so the
just the limited, hard-to-hear audio only recording available at this time. I am repeatedly told by the city that increased transparency is always a city goal. Okay. Here is a way to open up an obviously bottlenecked portion of the process and prove that you really want to meet this goal for everyone who is watching.
funding problems could be reviewed. A performance audit will now be required and a stakeholder group will be convened to explore more stable funding options. With those changes in place she and a majority of her fellow legislators were able to pass the bill. It’s unfortunate that Governor Inslee did not have the courtesy to respond to her directly when she wrote to him concerning the problems with the bill. Some of his recent actions, such as the death penalty moratorium for the worst of the worst, show that his judgment is poor and out of step with the will of the majority.
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I’m delighted the voters chose Senator Angel to represent them. She stayed in the political “kitchen,” took the heat, and changed legislation to protect the taxpayer and help the homeless. She is doing a great job now and will continue to do so in the years ahead. William Rieger Bremerton
Bremerton came through for us Two weeks ago my daughter was the victim of a crime. When I received her call for help, I was two states away. It’s hard to put into words the emotions that swept through me that day.
There was no way I was going to make it to Bremerton in time. At that moment I knew I would have to rely on the kindness of strangers to rescue her. It was heart wrenching because at that point I didn’t trust anyone. I had to make a choice and take the biggest “leap of faith” and trust the community of Bremerton with my chid. I want to thank West Hills STEM Academy for acting quickly in getting the proper authorities notified. Thank you for allowing her to Skype with her classmates now that we are back in California. Thank you to the Bremerton Police Department for their actions and comforting words that helped so much.
plans will depend on the mental and physical status of the person you’re visiting. The visit: Unless the person you’re visiting is a close family member or friend, knock before entering and ask permission to enter. If the person is unable to respond, then announce yourself before walking in. Greetings usually involve some form of physical contact. Think for a moment about what the quality of your life would be if no one ever touched you except to bathe or toilet you.
Thank you to Family Protective Services for keeping my daughter safe and for speeding up our reunion. Thank you to the people of Bremerton for how loved and supported you have made her feel. There’s not been one crooked look or unkind comment from anyone. Right now it is about healing and moving forward. An account has been created on behalf of my daughter at Wells Fargo Bank, account #3599891441. Any funds received will be used towards relocation. Thank you Bremerton for your support; it means the world to us. Jeanette Campos Oakland, Calif.
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