WRITERS ROOM | Anthology 5

!e first layer of self, being our body, I am mindful of taking care of it, that means exercise and eating right, both of which I have fallen off, not good. Keeping it clean, doing some pampering, which includes nails, hair, teeth and conditioning the body with lotion to so"en the skin, smooth out wrinkles, and being a woman of color also using lotion to prevent dry skin that causes white crackly skin, they call ash or ashy. I love smelly good products, fragrances that fill the air, and follow me everywhere I go. All that's important to me. Because too many times I've seen people just quit on life and give up on themselves. Usually older people. And that was something I didn't understand, until I was stationed at my Mother’s house, and I began to watch my mother start to go through that process. God allowed me to see it and understand.

My Mother was married to my Father for 49 years, then he died.

It is now 8 years since.

And all her children are gone, still close enough, but preoccupied with their lives and family. And when you've lived your life for others, their approval, their acceptance, or espousal, you lose a big part of you, which you don't even realize, until all is gone. You lose your identity. Causing you to feel like you have no purpose in life and feeling lost. And now you're older, And the older you get, what used to be natural and easy, has now become work.

Now deviation begins, the act of departing from an established course of your life or an accepted standard. And they don't put as much into their personal hygiene, or the way they dress, how they smell, or how they look. !ey figure what's the use, mainly because they don't have someone in their life to share it with…

Of course I didn't leave her like that, we did a complete makeover, and I watch the life spring back in her...

A"er understanding how deviation works, and having an early bout with it myself, Yea! you see, like most of us we dressed to impress others, in school, in the workplace, and even in church, or to get someone’s attention, usually a male friend or a female friend that you had some interest in. In my case it was a male friend that I was seeing. Knowing he was coming over, I would dress in something sexy, put on my cool Jazz music with a chilled glass of wine, something I really enjoyed doing, but my focus was on him. And when that relationship ended. !e 144