8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17.
Starting a new class next week Not having any info on where it is or what we do Feeling pressure to focus on classes I hate Having massive amounts of homework Hating the gym and hating not going to the gym Hating cooking and hating pre-made meals Stress caused by procrastination Lack of bathtub to soak in Expensive gas bill Lack of cleanliness and tidiness
IDENTITY “I feel like I am more myself now than I was at the beginning of this trip.” Leah and I emphatically agreed with Dave’s honest admission. We had finished our decadent hummus dishes and were content to spend our last few hours in Tel Aviv on this beautiful restaurant patio surrounded by trellises of bright pink roses. I took another soothing sip of my fresh mint tea—a tall clear glass filled with hot water and a long sprig of mint. In fewer than twelve hours we would be boarding a plane to head back to the States, just in time for Christmas. I looked up at the cloudless blue sky and confessed to the two of them, “On this trip, I didn’t feel like I had to be anyone but myself. I was present.”
LIMBO
“If I had to express in one word what makes [creative persons’] personalities different from others, it would be complexity. By this I mean that they show tendencies of thought and action that in most people are segregated. They contain contradictory extremes—instead of being an ‘individual,’ each of them is a ‘multitude.’”10 This duality has been stretching me thin. I get stuck in the middle, with both sides desperately puling me their way. Should I go to the gym or go back to sleep? I do neither. Should I get to campus early or get work done at home? I do neither. Should I finish my D6 website or should I call it quits and back away from the company? I do neither. I sit in limbo, afraid to step one way or the other off the tight rope. Afraid to commit, afraid to make the wrong choice, afraid that once I dive in, I’ll forget how to swim. My indecision is holding me back. Commit or quit. No more limbo. 76
10
Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention, by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
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