Understanding Gender Identity and Pronouns Gender is usually assigned when a baby is born, based on the genitals they appear to have. A baby with a penis and testicles is called a boy; a baby with labia and vulva/vagina is called a girl. A baby with genitals that do not appear to be typical in development as a penis or vulva may be called intersex and their gender not yet determined. In fact, the genders of all of these babies, no matter which reproductive body parts are visible, are not assignable by adults. This is because gender Identity is a person’s innermost concept of self as man, woman, a blend of both or neither. It is how individuals perceive themselves and what they call themselves. Gender identity can be the same or different from one’s sex assigned at birth. If gender identity matches with that assigned at birth based on reproductive body parts, that person is considered cisgender. If gender identity is different than what was assigned at birth, that person may consider themselves to be transgender, genderqueer, non-binary or have some other identity. Genderqueer, also termed non-binary, is a catch-all category for gender identities that are not exclusively represented as men or women—they are identities which are outside the gender binary and our learned assumptions about someone’s gender. Genderqueer people may express a combination of masculinity and femininity, fluidly changing, or neither, in their gender expression. Gender identity is not fixed and can change just as people often do. The truth is you can’t know what someone’s pronouns are by looking at them. Even if you think that a person is presenting as a man or woman, this does not mean they use the pronouns you may think to identify them. Gender neutral/gender inclusive pronouns like “they/them/theirs” are considered polite when you don’t know what someone’s pronouns are. It is best to ask for a person’s pronouns, just as you might ask someone’s name when meeting them for the first time. It is also appropriate to converse without the use of pronouns or using gender neutral ones. Knowing someone’s pronouns can be personal, and it is often unfortunately tasked to transgender individuals to divulge their pronouns which can uncomfortable, embarrassing or even unsafe. Learning to be comfortable not knowing someone’s pronouns is a sign of respect when conversing. Because Safe Healthy Strong is offering workshops in two different languages, we have done our best to be inclusive of both English and Spanish in our pronoun ribbons. Some gender neutral/gender inclusive pronouns are not easily translated in other languages. Spanish often uses binary/gendered language, in which words and objects are identified as masculine or feminine, and a neutral identity can be challenging to translate. This is similar in English for occupations that have been traditionally gendered, like actor vs actress, alderman vs alderwoman, waiter/waitress, midwives, etc. Where gender neutral language can be imperfect, gender neutrality is sometimes described using traditionally masculine terms. While there are challenges in expressing gender diversity in the Spanish language, it is also true that there are many different ways that gender is expressed beyond pronouns.
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