January/February 2022 Pinehurst Living Magazine by Pinehurst Living Magazine

Calligraphy | The Duke of Samarcand | Wedding Trends

January/February 2022

The Wedding Issue P I N E H U R S T

S O U T H E R N

P I N E S

A B E R D E E N

World Class Weddings Whether you’ve dreamed of a destination wedding in an historic chapel, followed by a reception in a restored 1917 Fair Barn, or you’ve wanted to say your vows in a casual resort setting ... the Pinehurst, Southern Pines, Aberdeen Area of North Carolina is just the place to make your occasion an event to remember. With facilities to accommodate groups of 10 to 1000, we can make your wedding dreams come true. Contact The Convention & Visitors Bureau weddings@homeofgolf.com 800.346.5362 • homeofgolf.com/weddings Photo provided courtesy of Jennifer B. Photography, LLC. www.jenniferbphotographync.com

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Maggie's Farm Makana Photography Mid Pines Inn & Golf Club Pine Pressed Flowers Pinehurst Living Magazine ProFish Media Sal's of Southern Pines Sandhills Strings Second Act Florals Star of the Pines Wealth Management Story Focused Media The Bakehouse The Fair Barn Vision Events Ward Productions Weymouth Center

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Features January/February 2o22

12 Wedding Trends

Trends can help you create an entire theme for your wedding or just add a unique element or two.

16 Marriage Finances

Money. It’s a difficult but essential topic to discuss prior to marriage.

18 Local Weddings

Highlighting local weddings throughout the year and the many vendors who work hard to make it a special day. 4 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Photo by Catherine Leigh Photography

32 Calligraphy

The ancient art of calligraphy can add that special touch to your wedding correspondence.

42 A Look Back

The Duke of Samarcand and the life and times of “country-lifers.”

Tradition & Elegance in a Venue Like No Other 910.295.0166

thefairbarn.org

Departments

January/February 2o22

10 From the Editor 14 Beyond the Sign 28 In Vino, Veritas 30 Life Under Pines 34 Pick of the Pines 40 The Garden ON THE COVER

46 Books

48 Healthy Choices 50 On the Buckle 52 Puzzles 54 On the Green 56 Calendar 58 Sightings 64 Last Impression

Calligraphy | The Duke of Samarcand | Wedding Trends

January/February 2022

The Wedding Issue P I N E H U R S T

S O U T H E R N

P I N E S

A B E R D E E N

A DAY TO REMEMBER

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“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”

- Franz Schubert

Curating intimate and meaningful events with a fine art aesthetic

Vendors showcase:

Florist: SOIRÉE PINES Venue: HIGHGROVE ESTATE Photographer: JENNIFER B. PHOTOGRAPHY Stationery: KALEH SAMPSON DESIGNS MUA: BEAUTY BY KAREY Dress: BEAUTIFUL & BORROWED BRIDAL Cake: C. CUPS CUPCAKERY

CASS ANDRA M. BIVANS CASSANDRA@SOIREEPINES.COM 910.495.5424 | INSTRAGRAM.COM/SOIREEPINES

Talent, Technology & Teamwork! Mo ore C ou nty ’s Most Tr uste d Re a l E state Te am!

Pinehurst - 5 Lamplighter Village Court - SOLD $382,900 Attractive, well-appointed and spacious 4 BR/4 BA townhome in popular #6 location.

Pinehurst - 110 Westchester Circle- SOLD $325,000 Nice 3 BR/2.5 BA home in quiet Pinehurst Lake location w/lots of appeal.

Seven Lakes West -120 Wren Tree Court - UNDER CONTRACT $359,900 Beautiful 3 BR/2 BA home situated on generous, private lot w/lots of nice updates inside and out!

Seven Lakes North - 136 Pleasant View Lane - SOLD $310,000 Appealing split-plan 3 BR/2 BA home w/nice open design and totally move-in ready!

Pinehurst - 3 Deerwood Lane- SOLD $421,000 Lovely 3 BR/2 BA brick home situated on nice double lot in beautiful Pinehurst #6.

Southern Pines - 414 Palmer Drive, Unit 14 - SOLD $350,000 Luxurious 2 BR/2.5 BA golf front condo w/fine detail throughout on Arnold Palmer signature course.

Pinehurst - 11 Northam Court -SOLD $495,000 Custom 3 BR/2 BA home in quite location w/spacious layout and beautiful touches throughout!

Pinehurst - 190 St. Andrews Drive - SOLD $450,000 Charming 3 BR/2 BA custom home on beautiful lot convenient to golf courses, shopping, and dining.

Seven Lakes West -186 Banbridge Drive - SOLD $350,000 Nice single-level 3 BR/2.5 BA home overlooking the 11th and 12th holes of the Beacon Ridge golf course.

IN MOORE COUNTY REAL ESTATE FOR MORE THAN 20 YEARS!

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Luxury Properties Fine Homes & Luxury Properties

Mo ore C ou nty ’s Most Tr uste d Re a l E state Te am!

Pinehurst - 28 Beasley Drive $565,000 Amazing 3 BR/5.5 BA golf front home in nice location w/lots of space and breathtaking golf views.

Pinehurst - 4 Broadmoor Place - SOLD $611,000 Immaculate single-level 3 BR/2.5 BA home w/nice open layout along the 11th fairway of Pinehurst #3.

Pinehurst - 77 Pomeroy Drive - SOLD $575,000 Attractive single-level 3 BR/2 BA home situated on 6th tee of Holly course in Pinewild.

Seven Lakes West - 328 Longleaf Drive - WATERFRONT $1,400,000 New construction underway! Amazing 5 BR/5 BA home on 6.64 acres in popular gated community!

Pinehurst - 5 Red Fox Run - SOLD $540,000 Beautiful 4 BR/3 BA single-level brick home in serene location w/tons of curb appeal!

Pinehurst - 70 Braemar Road - SOLD $1,750,000 Impeccably maintained 4 BR/4 BA home in Fairwoods on 7. Truly one of the finest homes in Pinehurst!

Seven Lakes West - 132 Swaringen Drive- SOLD $1,150,000 Stunning 3 BR/4 BA WATERFRONT home on Lake Auman w/amazing outdoor living space!

Pinehurst - 423 Meyer Farm Drive - UNDER CONTRACT $1,600,000 Spectacular 4 BR/4.5 BA custom home on 3rd hole of the north course in gated Forest Creek.

Pinehurst - 160 Dundee Road - SOLD $720,000 Spectacular 3 BR/2 BA historic cottage near the Village of Pinehurst w/loads of charm and nice layout.

www.TheGentryTeam.com • 910-295-7100 • Re/Max Prime Properties 5 Chinquapin Rd., Pinehurst, NC PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 9

From the Editor

s we always do in our annual wedding issue, we highlight a select number of local weddings. This year, we have weddings that stretch across the seasons, which got me thinking about the pros and cons of each season for a wedding. After an exhaustive search on the internet and talking with some of our local vendors, here’s what I found: Spring Pros: Good weather and the beauty of nature reawakening were the most prominent benefits to having a spring wedding. Color palettes can be soft, light and neutral, and spring light can make for some stunning photographs. Spring can also be a good time for your guests, with less risk of travel issues. Cons: Weather also came up as a possible disadvantage, particularly rain, an unexpected cold front and pollen. If you opt for an outdoor reception and/or wedding, you run the risk of last minute scrambling if showers or worse are expected. Vendors are also in high demand in the spring, so there’s a risk of not being able to get your top choice caterer or photographer. Booking your vendors early is the best advice. Summer Pros: Longer days and warmer weather means much more flexibility in scheduling your wedding during the summer. Food options also increase, particularly for those wanting to source locally for their catering needs. Flowers, too, are in abundance and arrangements can take on another level of beauty as compared to other seasons. Cons: Watch out for that humidity and caution when scheduling during the hotter parts of the day unless you want to watch the bride and guests slowly wilt. Depending on the time of day, photography can sometimes be a challenge with the intense sunlight. And, again, vendors are in high demand during this season, so plan accordingly. Autumn Pros: Cooling temperatures and spectacular weather (especially in the Sandhills) is a huge draw for fall weddings. The weather is typically more reliable in this season, taking away one source of anxiety leading up to the big day. If your color palette leans toward deeper and richer tones, then break out the bronze, orange, reds and greens to match the changing foliage. Wedding planners are sure to incorporate the natural beauty into the theme, which can often save you money. Cons: Fall can be a difficult time of year for friends and family to travel as life tends to kick back into gear after the summer. Getting away for a weekend or longer isn’t as easy and some are a bit leaner in the wallet following summer vacations. Winter Pros: More unique and potentially spectacular, a winter wedding can really get guests in the mood to celebrate. Especially if there’s snow on the ground, this can be a homerun event as people need a good excuse to get together and celebrate. Winter weddings can also take advantage of different food choices, from cocoa bombs to casseroles. Fireplaces crackling, a cozy venue, dimmed lights—there’s a lot you can do with a winter wedding. Cons: Weather is certainly a bit riskier this time of year, and travel for guests can often be a coin flip. Plan on inviting guests earlier than normal to avoid any holiday conflicts, and remember the days are shorter in this season. Dressing the bridal party can have its challenges as well.

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JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2022

PUBLISHER/EDITOR Greg Girard greg@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com PUBLISHER/CREATIVE DIRECTOR Amanda Jakl amanda@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com ADVERTISING SALES Debbie Jordan debbie@pinehurstlivingmagazine.com GRAPHIC DESIGN Steve Jordan COPY EDITOR William C. Nelson OUR GIRL FRIDAY Amanda Oden CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Jennifer Crump, Robert Gable, Summer Jones Hudson, Sheree Lancaster, Sundi McLaughlin, Dolores Muller, Robert Nason, Ray Owen, Sassy Pellizzari, Helen Ross, Whitney Weston PHOTOGRAPHY Catherine Leigh Photography, Jennifer B. Photography, Kate Overton Photography, Moore County Historical Association, Tufts Archives For advertising or subscription inquiries call 910.420.0185 © Copyright 2022. Pinehurst Living is published six times annually by Sand & Pine LLC. Any reproduction in part or in whole of any part of this publication is prohibited without the express written consent of the publisher. Mailing address: PO Box 5202, Pinehurst, NC 28374 Phone 910.420.0185 www.PinehurstLivingMagazine.com Pinehurst Living will not knowingly accept any real estate advertising in violation of U.S. equal opportunity law.

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WEDDING TRENDS

By SUMMER JONES HUDSON, Event Planner & Owner, Events By Summer

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it’s always a great idea to research wedding trends to incorporate into your plans. Not all will be to your liking, I’m sure, but some may offer inspiration that you didn’t think of initially. You can utilize trends by creating an entire theme or just adding a special element or two to further enhance your dream day. Here are a few to consider:

Swoon Worthy Lighting Creative lighting is a such a large part of weddings, and really all types of events, these days! Brides are no longer just using pin spot lights to light focal points, or up lighting to create a dramatic effect. Instead, they’re spending larger portions of their budget to focus on trendy rattan chandeliers, fairy light entrances and back lighting behind pipe and drape entrances. Lighting can set the perfect tone for the event and creates a unique experience your guests won’t forget. Dramatic Cake Displays From acrylic stands to magnificent floral tables providing the perfect backdrop for your dessert, clients are thinking outside of the box to put their cake on display. Hanging cake displays, beautiful cake stands and ornate cakes adorned with cascading flowers are also trends that I am seeing in the area. The tradition of the cake cutting is still an important piece of the formalities during a reception and brides are taking that tradition to another level to enhance the beauty and focus of the cake. Vintage Inspiration Every major wedding trend outlet is talking about PEARLS! Designers are reinventing dresses with dainty details! Pearls are in abundance for 2022 and can be found on bridal gowns as well as other details for the wedding day. Pearls can lend themselves to a

variety of clients, whether they are more boho or feminine. Mock neck dresses, long sleeves and embroideries are all showing up with pearl accents, however, a client may want to adopt the trend in a less bold way. Pearls are great accents as jewelry, shoes, cake design and other décor details. This is a timeless trend I don’t think brides will look back on with regret 20 years down the road.

Earthy Connection Drawing inspiration from Studio McGee and the natural elements of the desert, dusty color palettes and earth tones are making their way across the country, and are now finding their way to the east coast. Locally, we are seeing trendy brides adopt the neutral palettes not only in bridesmaid dresses but in florals, floral vessels, linens and accents. Terracotta, sand, dusty rose, mustard, moss, toffee and taupe play a pivotal role in creating a modern, monochromatic look that focuses

on the connection to the earth and highlights the bride and groom in a more minimalist way. This couple wants matte finishes, pottery pieces, textiles that are raw and unique, garden style bouquets, dried floral elements and even a touch of grasses.

Getting Interactive Events are focused on ensuring that guests have fun, and what better way to do that than having interactive ways to draw your guests in? From bands, live painters, onsite chocolatiers and personalized wedding favors while guests wait, clients are reimagining custom ways to make their wedding stand out from the rest! Couples are smart in choosing items that they can take home from the interactive entertainment and either preserve or repurpose as decor for years to come as a memory from their day. PL

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 13

B E Y O N D

Photo by Jennifer B. Photography

A D V E R T I S I N G

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S U P P L E M E N T

T H E A D V E R T I S I N G

S I G N S U P P L E M E N T

Julie McNicol

Keller Williams Pinehurst mcnicoljulie@kw.com Phone: 915.217.9061 dreamhomespecialist.kw.com

Each office is independently owned and operated.

ulie McNicol is a proud Army wife of 17 years and she and her husband have two wonderful daughters, 13 and 11. The Army has taken them back and forth across the country many times—New Mexico, Texas, California, Colorado, Kentucky and, finally, to North Carolina. Julie found a natural place in the real estate world knowing first hand how moving your family, whether it’s across town, across the country, or to the other side of the world, can be one of the most difficult experiences you can go through. Julie’s career is highlighted by a chance entry into the real estate business that has skyrocketed in recent years. She started volunteering and working with local state offices before transitioning to real estate with the same helpful and supportive attitude that she is known for. After securing her broker license, she attended numerous training institutions honing her skills with the market and her clients. Julie worked to build and brand her Dream Home Specialist business brick-by-brick with the leaders, local community and businesses of Moore County and greater Pinehurst area. Her tireless efforts over the last four years have seen many accomplishments: Rookie of the Year, Moore County Leadership Institute graduate and the 2021-2022 Aberdeen Sardine Queen. She is continuing to grow and has now expanded her business by adding a new broker to her team. At Keller Williams Pinehurst, Julie serves on the Associate Leadership Council, an elite group representing role models and decision makers, and was selected to serve again for 2022. Julie McNicol, the Dream Home Specialist from Keller Williams, is one of a kind. Her personal success, dedication to clients and involvement in the community help her stand out as one of the most successful agents in the area. Make sure you give Julie a call when you’re thinking about your future real estate needs. PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 15

MARRIAGE FINANCES

By SHEREE LANCASTER, Star of the Pines Wealth Management

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ou found each other in this big wide world. You fell in love and you’re now planning your wedding. But through it all, did you ever ask yourselves, “How financially compatible are we?” Probably not. You may have thought about it, briefly, but how many people really make it a priority when they’re falling in love? Here’s the good news: You don’t have to be as compatible in money as in love. Some of the most longstanding successfully married couples I have met are completely opposite in this arena. Yes, opposites do attract. What’s more important is understanding and accepting each other’s financial top priorities and needs. Just like life (and marriage) itself, you MUST approach your merging financial game plan as a team player. So how do you live (financially) happily ever after? Try these tips:

Before the Big (and at times expensive) Event • Have an honest discussion on the budget and stick to your decisions. • Agree on the source of funding for the event. • Commit to make joint decisions (if necessary) on expenses. • If you need help having these conversations or need an unbiased opinion, talk with a financial advisor.

•

Are you saving but (he/she/they) are not?

•

What are your joint retirement plans?

•

What are your home ownership plans?

•

Will you start a family now or later?

•

When would you start saving for children’s education?

•

Here is a really hard one: How much is it OK to spend on an item or service WITHOUT asking your spouse?

After the honeymoon is the best time to sit down and have a conversation with an impartial third party for advice. Again, seek to consult with a financial advisor. As a 23-year veteran of banking and financial advisory, I can tell you a seasoned advisor has seen and heard it all. We operate as a third party who can bring reason, logic and knowledge to what might be an emotionally charged conversation. PL Sheree Lancaster is the owner and Senior Financial Advisor of Star of the Pines Wealth Management, affiliated with Capital Investment Advisory Services, LLC, in Southern Pines.

After the Honeymoon Now is the time to be sure that you are working as a team! Remember, you are building the foundation of your financial lives together. Be sure it’s on solid, committed ground, and that you both agree on a household budget. In creating and agreeing to a budget, ask each other: • Will your finances be combined or will you keep them separate? • What about (his/her/their) debt? Do you take it on and refinance it?

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 17

WEDDING CELEBRATIONS

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March 6, 2021

Michael & Lauren WEDDING VENUE: Village Chapel RECEPTION VENUE: Railhouse Brewery • CAKE: The Bakehouse CATERER: Spoon Lickers • FLORIST: Jack Hadden Floral MAKEUP: Venus Spa & Salon HAIR: Studio Five One DRESS: Dar-Lynn’s Bridal • VIDEOGRAPHER: Village Chapel RINGS: Hawkins & Hawkins Fine Jewelry &

Honeycutt Jewelers PHOTOGRAPHER: Jennifer B. Photography

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 19

June 5, 2021

Matt & Lauren

WEDDING & RECEPTION VENUE: River Pines • RENTALS: Richmond Rentals CATERER: The Market Place • CAKE: God’s Goodness Bakery DRESS: Jillian’s Bridal Outlet • FLORIST: Botanicals & Karen Fulcher MAKEUP & HAIR: Mariah Rigo • DJ: Ward Productions PHOTOGRAPHER: Catherine Leigh Photography

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Planning the perfect wedding? Make sure you have the perfect budget.

Star of the Pines Wealth Management is a member of Sandhills Wedding and Event Association for that very purpose. Meet with us for your Pre-Wedding Budget Discussion Meet with us after your honeymoon for a Couples Financial Planning Session Call or email us today to schedule time in person, by phone or via Zoom, or just to learn more! We do not charge fees to meet with us for discussions and planning sessions.

Find us on Facebook @starofthepineswealthmanagement

W e ar e her e for y ou befor e and aft er your p erf ect wedding.

Affiliated with Capital Investment Advisory Services, LLC. Securities offered through Capital Investment Group, Inc., Member FINRA/SIPC 100 E. Six Forks Road, Ste. 200, Raleigh, NC 27609 (919) 831-2370

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 21

September 23, 2021

Matthew & Caitlin WEDDING & RECEPTION VENUE: Weymouth Center COORDINATOR: Vision Events • MAKEUP & HAIR: Retro Studio Bar TRANSPORTATION: Kirk Tours & Carolina Car Service MUSIC: Nelson String Quartet • FLORIST: Jack Hadden Floral DJ: Bunn DJ Company • CATERER: Rocky Top Catering RENTALS: Ward Productions & Greenhouse Picker Sisters DRESS: Gilded Bridal • SHOES: Badgley Mischka RINGS: Levy Jewelers & Bopie's Diamonds & Fine Jewelry PHOTOGRAPHER: Jennifer B. Photography

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Photo by Jennifer B. Photography

120 West Main Street, Aberdeen, NC 28315 | 910.944.1071 | www.JackHadden.com

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 23

November 11, 2021

Jarad & Danielle

VENUES: Duncraig Manor & Gardens and The Bradford COORDINATOR: Chestnut & Vine • RENTALS: CE Rental & Cottage Luxe FLORIST: Anchored Floral • DECOR: Lavender Restyle Market MAKEUP & HAIR: Chelsea Regan • INVITATIONS: Kaleh Sampson BAR: Flying Cloud Bars & Events • TRANSPORTATION: Kirk Tours BAND: Creativity Band • CATERER: Elliott's Catering Co. BAKED GOODS: C Cups Cupcakery • COOKIES: Butter Bar Bakery PHOTOGRAPHER: Jennifer B. Photography

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Photos courtesy of Jennifer B. Photography LLC

Moore County’s #1 Choice for Luxury Wedding Transportation! Bride & Groom Getaway • Guest Shuttles • Airport Car Service

910.295.2257 | www.KirkTours.com | Pinehurst, NC PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 25

December 5, 2021

David & Sydney WEDDING & RECEPTION VENUE: The Fair Barn FLORIST: Carla Babb • CATERER: Rocky Top Catering CAKE: Michelle Gerrald • DRESS: Carolina Bridal World SUITS: Men’s Wearhouse • DJ & RENTALS: Ward Productions SHOES: Country Outfitters PHOTOGRAPHER: Kate Overton Photography

Live Event Performance & Speed Painter p:336.270.9305 e. lauraasykesart@gmail.com w. lauraashleyliveart.com @lauraashleyliveart

River Pines Venue Say “I Do” with a View!

2555 Farm Life School Rd, Carthage, NC | 910.986.5887 riverpinesvenue@yahoo.com | riverpinesvenue.com Find us on Facebook: River Pines Venue Follow us on instagram: @river.pines.venue Photo by Catherine Leigh Photography

www.visioneventsnc.com | nicole@visioneventsnc.com

919.292.0012

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 27

In Vino, Veritas

A Little Something Special By Sassy Pellizzari

ne of the most memorable and special gifts we’ve ever received was for the birth of our son, Leonardo, a few years ago. A good friend and talented young winemaker, Andrea Peri of Peri Talento wines in Northern Italy, and his beautiful wife and darling three little boys, gifted us something we will cherish forever. It was a double magnum bottle of his renowned sparkling brut wine. Not only this, but it was handpainted by a local artist with the most fabulously adorable scene. In theme with our living in Pinehurst and also Italy, there was a toddler boy driving a golf cart, golf balls and bubbles falling from the air like every little boy’s dream and a beautiful green landscape with golf course flags and a large sash of the American and Italian flags with “Benvenuto Leonardo” written. We would have been absolutely thrilled about this bottle simply on its own without the art, since it is a double magnum (which is four bottles of wine) of his fantastic Peri Talento champagnoise sparkling. However, the addition of

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this incredible artwork on the bottle is something we will always cherish and keep for Leo for years to come. Perhaps we will all drink it together with him on his 21st birthday! The gift of wine is always appreciated, but how do you make it stand out? How do you make it a special, unique and memorable gift? A few things can help. First of all, the vintage. This is the year that the wine grapes were harvested. Certain wines are known for having fabulous vintage years based on mother nature herself and the perfect “storm.” Seasons with particularly unique weather can shape how the grapes and, essentially, the wine turns out. Some of the best recent vintages for wines include 2010 Brunello di Montalcino, 2008 Champagne, 2016 Tuscan wines, 2014 Burgundy or 2012-2014 Napa and Sonoma wines. Instead of picking a fabulous year for the wine itself, it’s also fun if you can find an old vintage of a special year in their life. A friend is turning 40? How about a 1982 vintage. It doesn’t even have to be remarkably

drinkable; sometimes it is just exciting to have your birth year in the wine cellar. Other ideas include a wedding anniversary year, the year the first child was born or a graduation date. Pick any memorable year and try to collect a bottle from that year to enjoy and relive the memories. We stocked up on the years that our sons were born so they already have a nice collection! When gifting wine, I also like to look for wines that come in quality and elegant packaging directly from the winemaker. How the wine is bundled and displayed makes a huge difference—everyone loves wine from a wooden box that doubles as a keepsake. Personally, I use them to store shoes in our mudroom: Instead of baskets, we use wine boxes to put our shoes in. Some people use them as plant potters, table décor or bookshelves. Wine is an overall sensory experience, which is why many of these special additions to the taste of the juice are so well received. You may drink the best wine of your life, but if it is not a nice evening, it might not “taste” as good as you remember it. Wine is also completely personal; what one person likes is not necessarily what someone else might like. These memorable touches are a way to personalize the wine to the recipient’s taste for a more elegant wine gifting experience.PL

Sassy Pellizzari lived in Italy for more than 13 years, where she developed a passion for and knowledge of Italian wines. She and her husband, Paolo, are the owners of Bacco Selections, a Pinehurst-based company specializing in fine wine importing and distributing.

Where Design Meets Life

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PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 29

Life Under Pines

A Year in the Life By Sundi McLaughlin

hat a roller coaster life is, especially these past few years. I have been thinking about the life cycle of a year and wondering are there lessons to be learned? Are obstacles for us to just endure? Or maybe the purpose is to go through some difficulty or victory and share it with others to light the way? If that is indeed the answer, then grab your torches and follow me. This year of mine has been a doozy—unexpected feelings of dread to pure happiness, the hopeful feeling of starting something new, the satisfaction of doing a job you love, health crises, loss and working in a community that gives you joy. Here is my look back …. This time last year, my shop was in a building I had been renting for 11 years while being out of lease for the last three, paying month to month, and the constant worry of rent increase or a sudden eviction. The stress of the unknown had taken its toll. I told friends and other small business owners to keep me in mind if they heard of any buildings for rent, anything that sounded like a good fit for me. If I couldn’t find anything, closing the shop was becoming a very real next step. You see, in the early spring my building fell under new management and while the thought of being in a lease again and having some stability was great, something didn’t feel right. I thought, “OK, you’ve had a good run. Eleven years is a 30 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

long time to be in business, maybe my time has run its course.” I sat with the new lease on my desk for a week wondering what to do when I got a call from Claudia at Morgan Miller. She explained her landlord called to inform her Framer’s Cottage (the neighboring shop) would be closing and did she know of anyone looking to rent? I told her I was absolutely interested, my new potential landlord called minutes later and we arranged a time to view the space. I then met with my bookkeeper to see if it was financially realistic. I was looking at doubling my square footage, doubling our work space and tripling storage! A larger space would mean a rent increase, hiring more employees, ordering a larger amount of inventory, spending money on renovations, being closed for business during the transition and planning a grand re-opening—a lot to take in. My bookkeeper was hesitant; my husband was 100 percent on board. (His steadfast belief in me is quite remarkable.) I talked it over with my friends to death (bless them), and against sound concerns I went for it! Within a few months I had gone from being completely depressed and worried about possibly closing to finding myself about to begin a wonderfully terrifying new experience. My man and I, along with our amazing friends, worked into the wee hours night after night, tackling one project

after another. Customers volunteered to help us move the entire shop five doors down, and that is exactly what happened one lovely Sunday morning in the spring. It was unbelievable to see dozens of folks push, pull and carry tables, boxes and everything else while simultaneously watching our shop, my second home quickly empty until there was nothing left but bare walls and memories. In what felt like a whirlwind of sleepless nights, endless to-do lists, and working our fingers to the bone, it was opening day! The grand opening in April was such a sweet day, customers hugged me and wished us well and over the next several months we happily settled into our new home. And then in July, I got a terrible call from my mom down in Florida. My sweet dad had passed away suddenly. I rushed home to be with her, and we began the work of settling the affairs of a life well lived. My mom flew back up with us to stay for a few months and we quickly got into a happy routine of doing puzzles, watching movies, eating tuna sandwiches and cupcakes, putting her to work in the shop, and binge watching Ted Lasso, the British Bake-Off and generally enjoying each other’s company while maybe realizing how limited our time is with those we love, and perhaps learning how to spend our remaining time in a way that honors the time we have left. I also injured my back in

“

I enter the new

year humbled by how quickly life

can change. In a blink of an

eye, everything you know for

”

certain can

disappear for

better or worse.

the summer. The day my dad died something happened to my body. On the way to the airport my back began to hurt and it has continued to hurt every day since. I have been to physical therapy and to doctors ... as a matter of fact, I was just at a doctor’s office today getting another injection, praying this will be the one that will ease the pain. It is frustrating, to say the least, and it is not lost on me that my dad had crippling back pain the last years of his life. I can only pray that this will not my future. But as you know, we all push through, don’t we? Things have to be done, birthdays need to be celebrated, bills must be paid. Things could be worse. Time goes on for better or worse. And then suddenly September was here and one day while I was prepping to celebrate our 12th year in business I started feeling unwell. I quickly left work and called the doc to see if they thought I should get a COVID test, even though I was vaccinated in March and had COVID the year before. They thought I should go in for a test and wouldn’t you know, I tested positive … again. They think it was the Delta variant. They immediately set me up to get the antibody infusion, which they think retrospectively kept me from getting sicker and preventing me from getting admitted to the hospital. A few weeks later, however, I developed chest pain and a strange pressure. My pulse went bananas and I began going to the doctor’s for both my back and heart, and I have to say it seems like a mean sneak peek into old age, and it is humbling. I am finally seeing a cardiologist this week and I am stoked—words I thought I would never say in my 40s. So now, looking forward, I enter the new year humbled by how quickly life can change. In a blink of an eye, everything you know for certain can disappear for better or worse. The lesson, I think then, is to hold those you love just a little closer, enjoy the little things you take for granted and don’t be afraid to take a risk. Life is a roller coaster, but I hope you have a few people in your life along for the ride. If you’re lucky, they’re right here Under the Pines …. PL Sundi McLaughlin is a proud military wife and small-business owner of Mockingbird on Broad in Southern Pines.

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 31

CALLIGRAPHY

By JENNIFER CRUMP, Jennifer Lee Calligraphy

S 32 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

d e t i v n i e r a u o YT e d i r B g n i d d e W e t a d e h t e v a S e t a r b e l e C he art of calligraphy has been around for 3,000 years, and continues to help set your wedding apart and make it exceptional today. Traditionally, calligraphy is used on the outer and inner envelopes of wedding invitations to help give your guests a beautiful introduction to your event. It can also be used for save-the-dates, written vows, love letters, keepsakes—such as personalized liquor or perfume bottles—seating charts, bar signs, escort cards, place cards, menus, programs, favors or anything else that uses words to get a message across. Typically, the entire wedding invitation is not handwritten because of the expense for the couple and the time commitment for the calligrapher. Spot calligraphy, however, where the calligrapher creates the design and then the design is converted into an image file, can be a much more budget-friendly alternative if you want to have the bride and groom’s names beautifully flourished on the invitation. Most calligraphers ask that you provide any stationery needed for your event. A wedding stationer is a great resource for this and any calligrapher who is not also a stationer will likely have one that they can recommend. Your planner can usually help with this, too. If you choose to have a calligrapher hand address your invitation envelopes, escort cards, menus, etc., I recommend you order at least 20 percent more than you need for your guest list to allow for human error and the inevitable last-minute addition of your great aunt Agnes who was accidentally left off the list. When you begin to work with a wedding calligrapher, as with your wedding planner, it’s OK to not know exactly what you want. It’s our job to ask you questions and give you some ideas to help you narrow down all the options. Wedding details can be overwhelming, and having someone you trust to help make them extraordinary is very important. There are tons of ideas online and having pictures of the overall aesthetic that speaks about you and your partner as a couple is incredibly valuable to all your vendors. Start creating your wedding vision with a Pinterest board and share it with us!

It’s always a great idea to begin looking for and interviewing your wedding vendors as soon as possible after you get engaged. Many wedding calligraphers are in very high demand and have a three- to six-month lead time for projects. We, as wedding professionals, want to make your wedding planning experience as seamless as possible and we have a harder time doing so when we are rushing at the last minute. That being said, if you contact me two weeks before your wedding and ask me to provide your hand-lettered bar signs, I’m going to do my best to accommodate you because I always try to help with last minute requests if I can. But note that last minute projects will often cost more. This year is going to be a huge year for weddings as we continue to help couples who chose to wait owing to the pandemic, so plan accordingly. And know that all wedding vendors, including your friendly local calligrapher, are here to help you have the event you have always dreamed of! PL

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 33

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2022

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www.eveavery.com 910.693.1277 PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 37

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Clothes Horse 163 Beverly Lane, Southern Pines facebook.com/clotheshorseofspines

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38 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Welcome to Paradise 280 Turner Street Aberdeen

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PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 39

The Garden

40 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Edgeworthia BY DOLORES MULLER

f you are looking for an easy to grow shrub with fragrant flowers that bloom in the winter, and who isn’t, then look no further. Edgeworthia chrysantha, commonly known as “Oriental Paper Bush,” is the one. The genus was named in honor of Michael Pakenham Edgeworth (1812–1881), an Irish-born Victorian-era amateur botanist who worked for the East India Company, and for his sister, writer Maria Edgeworth. The species name chrysantha derives from the Greek chrysos meaning “golden” and “anthos” meaning flower, owing to its gold-colored, almost white flowers. It originates in southwest China, Nepal and Japan. I am seeing this shrub more and more in the landscaping trade, and for good reason. It is a deciduous shrub with dark green-bluish leathery, single, alternate leaves with silver undertones. It is in the same family as daphne, but with a much heavier fragrance. This well-branched shrub begins blooming in December, when it’s nothing but a bare silhouette in the garden, and continues through the winter from February to April with flowers that are yellow, near-white and fragrant, in clusters at the branch tips. The red dragon variety produces orange-red flowers but it is less seen in the trade. The little floral spheres hang like bouquets on the ends of the bare branches. The bush is happiest in zones 7-9 and is deer resistant. It prefers partial to full shade and moist, well-drained soil, rich in organic matter. As an added plus, in autumn its leaves become a rich yellow. A mature plant can be 7 feet tall and wide. Oriental Paper Bush grows in a wide variety of soil types: sand, loam or clay. And it enjoys varying pH soil values: acidic, neutral or alkaline. Regardless of the soil type, it has to be humus-rich and moist. Since it is a deciduous shrub, it is best to transplant during the dormant period in early spring and late fall. Edgworthia is a low maintenance plant that needs little or no pruning, however, as with all plants, any dead or diseased branches should be pruned. This bush is ideal for use as an accent or specimen plant in medium-size landscape spaces. In larger landscapes, it can be planted in groupings or as natural hedges. Plant near windows, patios, decks, porches and other outdoor living areas where the wonderful fragrance can be enjoyed. PL

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 41

PL P L

A Look Back

The Duke of Samarcand Raphael Pumpelly II Story by Ray

Owen / Images courtesy of Moore County Historical Association

t the beginning of the 20th century, the Sandhills was at the forefront of a national Country Life Movement. This back-to-the-land effort sought to sustain American culture by encouraging rural people to stay on the farm. The widespread popularity of the movement sparked the tide of Northern settlers to the region. Adherents were known as “country-lifers,” many of them graduates of Ivy League schools. As affluent county-lifers took up farming, vast estates proliferated around Pinehurst, owned by people accustomed to urban living. They wore overalls and worked the fields by day, before retiring to resort life in the evening. Their philosophy was that anyone could make a profitable rural retreat and master the mysteries of the soil.

42 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Raphael Pumpelly II was among the most renowned countrylifers, the dashing son a world-famous geologist and explorer. A mining engineer by profession, by his 30th birthday he had traveled the globe. A formative experience was a horseback journey across Central Asia, an adventure that inspired the name of his Moore County estate—called Samarcand after a city he had visited in southern Russia. By 1910, Pumpelly had acquired several thousand acres west of Eagle Springs and he spared no expense in its development. Samarcand was self-contained and self-sufficient, having the most modern agricultural equipment, with a post office, company store and train depot—even issuing its own private script instead of money to its nearly 100 workers.

Opposite page, the Pumpelly family in 1914. Top, Raphael Pumpelly. Botton, three generations of Pumpelly in 1913.

The new cash crop was peaches, and Pumpelly created the largest of all North Carolina orchards. He then expanded his enterprise to include Ayrshire cattle, Berkshire hogs and dairy cows, along with corn, cotton and tobacco. Produce was shipped by rail to Aberdeen on its way to distribution points along the Eastern Seaboard. The grand manor, designed by Boston architect Charles Loring, was built of white stucco and featured Italian and Oriental flourishes. Standing two stories tall, the structure sported a tile roof and columned terraces, arched doorways and walled gardens with reflecting pools. There were exposed hewn beams throughout, the floors dark red tile and every room was large enough to accommodate a fireplace. Following his wedding to New York socialite Amélie Huntington, Pumpelly and his bride came to live in the newly completed manor, and by 1913 the couple had three children. Their images are like photos of ghosts, silhouettes tracing the earth with crops stretching away between drifts of sand, meeting the haze of the distance. From the start, the couple enjoyed boundless extravagance with any number of Amélie’s dresses costing more than a farmhand could make in a year. Not to be outmatched, Pumpelly sported the finest jackets and trousers, with colored neckties and Russian boots—his flamboyance extending to his cars and ultimately to the entire estate. Among their greatest amenities was a ballroom above the company store with hardwood floors and a bandstand. There, they held formal dances and hoedowns, masquerade balls, plays and musicals of local vintage. The spirits flowed freely: peach brandy, corn liquor, scuppernong wine. It is said that a railroad car would be commissioned to bring weekend guests, from as far away as New York, and on Monday morning the same railroad car would carry revelers home. A lively presentation was the “peach opera,” a burlesque expression of the dream of country-lifers to find a satisfying existence in farming. The opera was set to the music of Gilbert and Sullivan, lines from a song being “... the Sandhills man is a soaring soul, as free as a mountain bird ....When a most welcome shower brings relief for an hour, we’ve plenty of time to play.” Pumpelly continued living the high life, but things started to unravel in 1918. Two years of failed peach crops, coupled with the collapse of the peach and real estate markets drove him deep into debt. With farm earnings swallowed up by

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 43

A Look Back

Above, architect Charles Loring’s rendering of Samarcand. Left, a Samarcand garden party.

operating expenses, he sold land to the state in a futile attempt to sustain his lavish spending habits. His marriage was in trouble by the early 1920s and his wife ultimately filed for divorce. In the court proceedings, she testified that her husband engaged in extramarital relationships including a sordid affair with the children’s tutor. After the trial, Pumpelly refused to pay the settlement because of his insolvency, and he was briefly imprisoned. He finally lost Samarcand to foreclosure in 1925. Nearly penniless, Pumpelly ended up with custody of his three teenaged children after a strong case was made that his former wife lacked the knowledge and wherewithal to manage them. Homeless, the family took refuge in a cave on Mount Monadnock in New Hampshire. They called the place Megalithia, outfitting the shelter with a

44 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

fireplace and smoke vent, and basic creature comforts. The family lived for a year in the cave, surviving by setting traps for rabbits, snaring birds, gathering nuts and berries, and fishing in a nearby stream. Each weekday morning, Pumpelly would bathe in the stream, put on a suit, and catch a train into New York City where he would look for work. He eventually landed a position in a major insurance firm and within three years, regained his financial footing. Pumpelly continued to visit the Sandhills until his death in 1949. He often told friends that the best thing that can happen to a man is to suffer a setback in his middle years—either it breaks you or you come out of the experience a stronger person. He later reminisced, “The greatest treasures in life are human ties and true friends.” On refection, the country-lifers met resistance from those who saw them as aggressive modernizers who were condescending and out of touch with the realities of farm life. Rural residents also resisted attempts for change led by outsiders. In any case, the Great Depression proved the downfall of the country-lifers, as fortunes shrank and they retreated to urban settings. Samarcand eventually passed to J.D. Parker, a wine maker and dairy farmer. He and his family occupied the place until his incarceration for tax evasion in 1955. Eight years later, Clement and Barbara Williams purchased property and today the estate looks much as it always has. Neither Pumpelly nor his wife ever remarried. Years later, their children remembered living in the cave as the best time of their lives. PL

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Books

An Obsession By Robert Gable

ometimes the most effective way to get things done is to be obsessed with doing them. Obsessions, though, can blind a person to the consequences of their actions while running into the brick wall of reality. But if you’re completely focused on doing something, and you’re on the right track, it can make for a winning combination. Malcolm Gladwell’s latest book, The Bomber Mafia, details the time a core group of American airmen were obsessed with what they believed was the best way to wage a war. Gladwell has written six previous bestsellers, his latest being Talking to Strangers. He keeps the same winning style in this book—he knows how to tell a fascinating story by combining far-flung and disparate observations to arrive at new, unforeseen conclusions on an aspect of history that seems to be “case closed.” You don’t have to agree with his conclusions, but he’ll certainly make you say, “I never thought of it that way before.” In the author’s note Gladwell admits, “I realize, when I look at the things I’ve written about or explored over the years, that I’m drawn again and again to obsessives. I like them. I like the idea that someone could push away all the concerns and details that make up everyday life and just zero in on one thing—the thing that fits the contours of his or her imagination.” This book weaves together Gladwell’s interests in obsessed people and strategic airpower. These men were driven by the dream that the future of warfare would successfully exploit the airplane. He adds, “The Bomber Mafia is a case study in how dreams go awry.” Though it mostly takes place during WWII, he notes, “It is the story of a Dutch genius and his homemade computer. A band of brothers in Alabama. A British psychopath. Pyromaniacal chemists in basement labs at Harvard. It’s a story about the messiness of our intentions, because we always forget the mess when we look back.” The Dutch genius was Old Man Dynamite, Cal Norden, who developed a bombsight that, theoretically, could “drop a bomb into a pickle barrel from 30,000 feet.” Since 37 million people were wounded or killed in World War I, a band of airmen at Maxwell Field in Alabama (nicknamed “The Bomber Mafia”) wanted to make sure that never happened again. Their dream: use the high-flying B-29 Superfortress combined with the Norden bombsight and eliminate the need for armies.

46 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

The Bomber Mafia

By Malcolm Gladwell 240 pages, Little Brown / $27.00

You could effectively win a war from the air and do away with needless large-scale killing. Haywood Hansell was the leader of these dreamers. The pragmatic Curtis LeMay replaced Hansell when the Norden bombsight was abandoned as too temperamental in practice and useless in cloudy weather. Instead, in the Pacific theater, LeMay bombed from low altitude at night using napalm, which proved to be a shockingly effective incendiary weapon. LeMay’s pragmatic approach to bombing led to “the longest night of the war”—Operation Meetinghouse. In March 1945, 300 B-29s converged on Tokyo in a full attack lasting three hours. Bombs carrying 1,665 tons of napalm are estimated to have killed 100,000 people in fires that burned everything for 16 square miles. If you wage war as ferociously and brutally as possible, in return you get a shorter war. Gladwell perceptively shows that it’s easy to judge our forebears using 20/20 hindsight. In order to stop a prolonged, desperate, deadly invasion of Japan, the military did what was needed with what was available at the time. He notes a Japanese historian who holds that the bombing stepped up the Japanese surrender, which in turn spared Japan the post-war fate of being carved up into Soviet versus American territories the way Korea and Germany did. It also allowed Douglas MacArthur to bring in food to Japan to avoid mass starvation in the winter of 1945. Gladwell concludes that, all these years later, the dream of high-altitude precision bombing is becoming a reality. While the strategy is no longer huge carpet-bombing raids randomly aiming at a target, now a bombing strike can be precisionguided to hit the exact floor of a building. The hope remains that precisely targeted bombing can indeed reduce needless, large-scale suffering and destruction, which leads to the hope that, perhaps soon, large-scale suffering and destruction won’t be needed at all. PL Robert Gable worked in book publishing for 18 years before going into the golf industry. He lived and worked in Pinehurst for five years and still misses it. He currently lives in Queens and works as an assistant golf pro at Metropolis Country Club in White Plains, New York.

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Editor’s Choice Lincoln Highway by Amor Towles

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Healthy Choices

Shh ... It’s Sleep Time By amelia kirkland

t’s the middle of winter. The tinsel and wrappings of Christmas are gone. The days are short (and cold). What is there to do but sleep? January is considered by many to be the low point of the year. Many resolve to set new, healthier habits, but oftentimes this proves too challenging to sustain. But January also brings new beginnings. What do cold, dark nights and new beginnings have in common? A new way to think about SLEEP. The latest research indicates that sleep is the third pillar of good health. It has equal standing with exercise and healthy eating. But what is good sleep and how do we get it? Let’s take a step back for a minute. If you are of a certain age and were told that you could “have it all’ by multi-tasking and burning the candle at both ends, I’m here to tell you that’s crap. These are not good habits for brain nor metabolic health. But guess what is good for brain health and metabolic health? Good sleep! While we rest, our brains and other parts of our bodies repair themselves. Our bodies are masters of recovery if we only give them the right tools. Seven to nine hours of good quality sleep gives our cells and organs time to “take

48 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

the trash out.” Broken or dysfunctional parts of our cells, including degraded DNA, are cleared and discarded during sleep. This process is critical to maintaining mental acuity, preventing Alzheimer’s and even some types of cancer. When we don’t get enough quality sleep, we rob our bodies of this golden opportunity to rest and repair. Poor sleep can also lead to weight gain. When we are unrested, our bodies begin to crave “cheap energy.” Usually, this comes in the form of high-carb, salty, sweet, fatty snacks. You may have experienced this yourself. The day after a late night you crave cookies, chips, candy or pastries. We aggravate the cycle by piling on caffeine to keep us awake. While the occasional late night is not harmful, a steady diet of them can wreak havoc on metabolism. So what do we do to promote healthy sleep? The first thing to change is your mindset. You must honor sleep just like a healthy diet and take steps to ensure that it’s a priority in your life. Creating a nighttime routine can be key in achieving good quality sleep. Finish eating at least an hour before bedtime. If your digestive system is busy processing food, it can’t be resting and repairing. Second is to guard your eyes and brain against blue

light in the evening. Our circadian rhythm is programmed to interpret blue light as “awake time” and red light as “downtime”. (Pro tip: Our bodies are tuned to respond to the gorgeous hues of red and orange in sunsets.) Blue light is emitted by screens, i.e., your television and electronic device screens. It’s a good idea to put these away a considerable time before bed. Opt for some soothing music, a cup of herbal tea and a good book. Some people find that a warm bath or shower can induce relaxation and bring on sleepiness. We often use this tactic with babies and it can be quite helpful in adults as well. If you find that you can go to sleep, but staying asleep is a challenge, some supplements might be in order. Many folks today are magnesium deficient and magnesium has a calming effect. Taking a magnesium supplement in the evening can help. There are several good magnesium products on the market and our friends at Nature’s Own can surely help you find a suitable one. Many contain other compounds that suggest relaxation, such as GABA and L-theanine. If worries are keeping you awake, try evening meditation. There are apps for guided meditation that can take you into a calmer, more serene headspace. These guided meditations usually last somewhere between five and 20 minutes. Some include imagery of Nature’s majesty or soft music that can help get your mind off your troubles. Remember that bedtime is not the time to act on or fix

problems. Give yourself permission to sideline your concerns until morning. When you let go of your worries at night, you will be much better equipped to address and solve them in the morning. I would be remiss if I did not mention a popular overthe-counter (OTC) sleep aide. Melatonin is the natural brain chemical that induces sleep. It is secreted by the pineal gland. (Side note: Blue light suppresses melatonin production.) We can contrast melatonin with its daytime counterpart, cortisol, which peaks in the morning. In an ideal world, these brain chemicals would be balanced and isolated to the appropriate time of day. But in our highstress, 24/7 world, we often find ourselves out of balance, which is to say sleepy during the day and wide awake at night. The use of OTC melatonin has its place but should not be used as a long-term solution. It’s best used when traveling, especially to a different time zone. If you’re lucky enough to have a solid, dependable sleep schedule, good for you! I’m jealous. For the rest of us who need the occasional help, these tips will get you back on track for a happier, healthier start to the new year! PL Amelia Kirkland has been an advocate for good health for more than 30 years. She is the founder of The Helpful Plate (thehelpfulplate.com), a company committed to empowering people to lead fulfilling, healthy lives. She is an avid cyclist, runner and student of Pilates.

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On the Buckle

Welcome Back Horse Shoppers by Whitney Weston

y now you have done your homework and assembled a team of farrier, vet, dentist, trainer and barn owner. You know where you will be keeping your future unicorn, and you have trust in the team to get you there. In Part II of this series, we went over some options and ways to identify what your perfect “unicorn” might look and behave like. Now, it is time for the actual shopping and test riding to begin. And guess what—it’s spreadsheet time again! Once we delve into the market, you will need to keep track of potential matches as it can start to become confusing very quickly when you are heavily researching 20 or more horses. There are many categories for each horse that must be filled in on the spreadsheet in order to give you an idea of what this horse might be like, and whether he is worth the time to visit. If we find out something that removes a horse from being a good match for you, strike it off before spending time, money and effort to drive to that horse’s stable. Start the spreadsheet by filling in the age, height, sex, breed, color and markings. Then make sure to inquire about special shoeing or veterinary care, often referred to as “maintenance,” that might be a financial or risk factor that you may not want to take on. Be sure to ask about old injuries, and find out if the horse has limitations due to them or special care and medication for ongoing support. No horse is perfect, so if a healed injury does not hinder or bother the horse for your planned level of activity, don’t strike him off the list for that reason alone. I also ask about special feed, supplements and lifestyle requirements that are out of the norm. For example, a horse that has stable vices (like chewing wood or cribbing) might be difficult to place at a boarding facility. Most barns will not allow horses with major vices that are destructive to the facility. If the horse hates to be stabled, but only stall board is available at your chosen facility, then that’s a deal breaker. 50 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

If videos were not available on the advert, make sure to inquire. Depending on who I am shopping for and what the horse’s future job will be, I might ask for competition videos or showing the horse on a long line (basically a long rope that attaches the horse to a human while making a large circle around him) with no rider or equipment. My pet peeve is music on sales videos or too many screen cuts. I want to see an unedited version of each gait, walk trot and canter, in both directions. If the horse is meant to be for a dressage rider, I want to see an entire test from start to finish. If it is a jumping horse, we want to see an entire course from start to finish. A short clip of a sales horse jumping one or two big fences only shows that a horse is athletic. It doesn’t tell us how he handles a rider or a course. In fact, I want to see the horse knock a rail, then see his reaction to the next jump. I want to see a horse accidentally stumble, and see if he takes the mistake calmly or has a temper tantrum. If I am shopping for a young or amateur client, I love to see videos of the rider leading the horse to a mounting blocking, getting on, doing a ride, then dismounting. Even if a horse checks all these boxes, we need to see it for ourselves in person, and make sure the rider/horse chemistry is spot-on. Now it’s time to test ride the horses on our spreadsheet! I hope the trainer you are working with will be able to put together a shopping trip with several horses in one go, much like a realtor showing you several homes on a Saturday. The farther geographically we travel from home base, the more horses I would like to see to help the odds. If I’m shopping locally, we might visit one horse per visit. If I am shopping overseas, I expect to see 8-10 horses daily. Be sure to bring protein bars, water and towels, and be ready to ride as soon as you arrive at the stables. Shopping might sound like a leisure activity, but it can be a marathon!

Test riding can also be dangerous, so make sure someone at the stable is able to do a brief ride on the horse first. We need to see walk, trot and canter in both directions, as well as jump (if that is the job of horse we are looking for). If the horse is deemed suitable still, the trainer would then hop on. When I test ride for a client I have a formula that is very efficient. Test all gaits, whether the horse can move forward and come back easily, can turn both directions without fuss, then whether he will allow me to improve on him a bit (take direction). If a horse is combative or stubborn, he will not like a rider coming in and asking for more or something different. This means he might not be easily trained, and what you see is all you will get. And that might be enough, depending on his future job. Next, I want to see how the horse handles rider mistakes. I might become unbalanced, irregular rhythm, kicking and pulling a bit too much or too little. If the horse is good natured and can tolerate a learning rider, then it’s time for the client to hop on. We will then work through a sample lesson, seeing if the horse and rider get along and understand each other. This is where I am looking closely to see if the pair could be on the same page emotionally and trust may be established. From here, your trainer will help you set up a veterinary pre-purchase exam, and handle contracts and funds transfer. After all this work, you are now ready to begin a relationship with your unicorn. Please remember building a solid partnership takes time. I tell my students to mark their calendar for one full year later, and at that point I expect a horse and rider to know each other well. Lots of things change for a horse when he is sold. Different farm, feed, turnout, routine, rider, stablemates and more! Happy trails and good luck in your search! PL Whitney Weston is a professional horse trainer with more than 30 years of riding experience and competing at the international level of eventing for 15 years. She trains out of her Southern Pines farm through Valkyrie Sporthorses, and runs Southern Pines Riding Academy.

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Puzzles

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On the Green

Photo courtesy of Jennifer B. Photography

Marriage to a Tee by Helen Ross

o say 2021 has been a big year for Gabby Weiss and Tanner Steiner would be an understatement. In March, Weiss became the first female head pro at Pinehurst Country Club. And Steiner was named the head pro at nearby Country Club of North Carolina in August. Oh, and did we mention that the two got married on August 5, just a few days after Steiner found out he had been promoted? “It was a quick turnaround,” Steiner says with a chuckle. And it all started one night at Dugan’s Pub in the Village of Pinehurst. The love story, at least. Weiss, who was playing golf at James Madison, was home on a break. She had recently celebrated a milestone birthday and some of the guys she’d interned with that summer at Pinehurst invited her to go out and experience Dugan’s as a 21-year-old. Steiner happened to be in the bar that night, too. He was working full-time as an assistant pro at CCNC while finishing up his senior year in the professional golf management program at California University of Pennsylvania. The vivacious blonde quickly caught his eye. “I was just kind of hanging out with them and Gabby just happened to be in town, and we just kind of met organically

54 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

like how they used to,” Steiner says. “It wasn’t online. It was in person, and we just hit it off.” “The village is such a special place. … And I wouldn’t have met Tanner that night if I hadn’t gone out with my other golf pro friends who I now work with, which is super funny,” says Weiss, who moved to Pinehurst from Allentown, Pennsylvania when she was 16 after her family fell in love with the Sandhills when she played in the 2010 U.S. Girls’ Junior Amateur at CCNC. Soon, the two were talking every day, and bonded over their shared love of the game at first. And they quickly found their personalities balanced each other out—Steiner, much more laid back (and less competitive); Weiss, the more talkative of the two and whose closet is organized by color. Steiner is from western Pennsylvania and hasn’t quite been able to convert his bride to being a Pittsburgh Steelers fan—yet. But even so, the dynamic between the two was undeniable. Steiner proposed in June 2020 while on a quick trip to Ocean Isle Beach, North Carolina, one of their favorite spots, during a particularly busy stretch at work for both of them. He had hoped to pop the question at sunset, but a longerthan-expected dinner meant it happened under the stars.

“He proposed on the beach, and it was just the best situation,” says Weiss. “Both of us don’t like attention. There was nobody around, just the two of us and there was the full moon. Well, I think it was a full moon. I just remember it being pretty bright for night. But it was just the two of us and it was just perfect.” Steiner adds: “There’s always a plan. It just never quite goes the way you want it to.” He planned on a sunset proposal, “but I think I was overly ambitious.” Not surprisingly, the plan for the wedding was Pinehurst Resort. The ceremony was held in a room just above where Weiss works and overlooking the famed No. 2 course, and revolved around golf. Titleist made sure there were custom golf balls and tees for favors. And not many people can say the U.S. Open trophy and Havemeyer Trophy that goes to the winner of the U.S. Amateur were on display at their nuptials. Oh, and there was a Ryder Cup-style competition between the bridesmaids and groomsmen. “The girls technically won,” Steiner says. “… I don’t think I’ll ever live that one down, so we’ll have to get a rematch going.” Their shared vocation is a strong bond, and with it comes an innate understanding of the extremely long hours necessary for the job. There are nine courses at Pinehurst, which will host the 2024 U.S. Open on the flagship No. 2. Of its 5,000 members, 1,700 are golfing members, and Weiss and her staff run all their events. CCNC, which hosted the U.S. Junior Amateur last summer, is a private club with two courses and a very active local and national membership. But Weiss and Steiner have found they can learn from each other as they work to make the best possible experiences for their members. “It gives me good ideas and gives him some good ideas on how we can improve our events by just talking about our different tournaments and what we do versus what they do,” says Weiss. “So yeah, it’s good. I mean, I don’t think anybody else in this area has the same dynamic like we do with both of our jobs.” Indeed, the situation is unique, and to add to the accomplishment, the couple is working at two of the most revered clubs in the country. Weiss says, “I think this whole year has been a learning experience for both of us, how to do all of these different things that we’re now expected to do. And just learning the nature of the job and just the whole challenge of it. “So just trying to get through that, and then also at the same time getting married.” Yes, it was quite a year. PL

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PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 55

January/February 2022

CALENDAR OF EVENTS Dates and times subject to change. Check directly with event organizers before making plans.

56 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

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Sandhills Sightings

January February 2022

with DOLORES MULLER

Oktoberfest Tufts Park Pinehurst

October 23

Top, from left: Brandi & Erik Herr; Vicki & Jeff Haidet with Terry Wetzel and Logan Bryant / Bottom, from left: The Mountain Top Polka band; Gerald & Bonnie Smith; and the crowd enjoying the festivities.

Festival D’Avion

Moore County Airport Carthage

October 30

Top, from left: Shane Caison, Lisa Richmond and Dean Segovis; Air Tracker 502 / Bottom, from left: Ken & Penny Krause with Sandra & Wayne Mackey; Christopher Dunaway and Suzanne & Thomas Choiniere; and Edward & Shari Basile.

58 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

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Sandhills Sightings “Come Sunday” Jazz Brunch Weymouth Center for the Arts and Humanities

Southern Pines October 31

Top, from left: Susan Tucker and Rosemary Zuhone; Al Strong & the 99 Brass Band entertained / Bottom, from left: Lois Holt, Dotty Starling, Jean Webster, Sue Huston and Dorothy Gibson; Catherine Vrdolyak, Marilyn Barrett and Karla Keating; and dressed for Halloween were Carnie & Sharon Lawson.

Collectors Choice Event

Artists League of the Sandhills Aberdeen

November 4

Top, from left: Barbara Brando and Meredith Markfield; Peter & Karen Mamuzic with Jim, Stephanie & Mary O’Malley / Bottom, from left: LuAnn Kinney & Faye Dasen; Jim Tobais and Joanne Valdes; and a sampling of the art.

60 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Sandhills Sightings Sandhills Children’s Center 25th Annual Festival of Trees Carolina Hotel Pinehurst

November 17–21

Top, from left: Pat & Diehl Jones with Linda Braswell; Two of the decorated wreaths up for auction / Bottom, from left: Jack, Evelyn & Brittney Modert; Camille Nagel and Sandra Buckley; Jerri Crooms and JoAnne Hansz; and Jim & Joan Ayersman.

Sandhills Woman’s Exchange “Tea on the Train” Pinehurst

December 4

Top, from left: Train owner Rob Menzies with Pinehurst Mayor John Strickland; Krista Dunstan and Nicole Stieby; Chef Katrina Talyor, Anne Wright and Marie Carbrey / Bottom, from left: Waitresses: Pattie Sullivan, Anne Agnew, Faith Clay, Sarah Prestipino, Lisa Hammond and Beth Palmer; Pat Rudovsky, Woman’s Exchange President Barb Summers, Char Rohr and Sharon Lawson; and members of the Carolina Philharmonic Junior orchestra.

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 61

Sandhills Sightings “Back into the Swing of Things” Gala

Weymouth Center for the Arts and Humanities Southern Pines December 4

Top, from left: Kurt Kreuger and Charlie Zuhone; Rosemary Zuhone, Barbara Keating with Pat & Tim Sykora / Bottom, from left: Jim & Brenda Jamison, Carol Westerly, Howard & Estelle Menke and Carol Van Zanten; Carnie & Sharon Lawson with Joe & Patti Masso; and Kylie & Cory Rogers.

Miracles at Weymouth

Weymouth Center for the Arts and Humanities

Southern Pines

December 10–12

Top, from left: Event organizers Kathy Newcomb and Glenda Kirby; volleyball coach Katie Bradford, Marlee Johnson and Caroline Bradford / Bottom, from left: Hanukah display; Mr. & Mrs. Claus (Corine & George Wall); and Andrew, Suzanne, Todd & Taylor Parker.

62 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

Sandhills Sightings Sandhills Woman’s Exchange Breakfast with Santa Pinehurst

December 11

Top, from left: Holly & Madelyn Benedict; Fletcher, Lexi & Hurley Vetter / Bottom, from left: Elf Ryan Oakley with Santa and Jamie Boles; Megan & Knox Yarborough; and Dylan, Tucker & Gigi Jackson.

34th Annual Christmas Carriage Parade

Southern Pines December 11

Want your event featured in

Sandhills Sightings? Contact

Dolores Muller 910.295.3465

sightings@ pinehurstlivingmagazine.com Top, from left: Juanita & Michael Milann; two-horse carriage; Christmas carriage / Bottom, from left: Jason & Claire Sullivan with Sheree Harrold and Selah; Thea & Diane Pitassy; and Judy & Jerry Patterson.

PINEHURSTLIVINGMAGAZINE.COM 63

Last Impression

Growing Up photograph courtesy of Moore County Historical Association

The view of the burgeoning community of Southern Pines, taken from the Piney Woods Inn, circa 1890s. The decade of the 1890s was one of unparalleled growth for the town. Pictured is what was then the New England House on the corner of Bennett and New York, the Congregational Church on Bennett, Egerton’s Livery Stable below Bennett, Prospect House and Dr. Hugh’s Sanitorium (Pineshire) on Pennsylvania Avenue, and the Episcopal Church on Page. Capt. Clark’s Opera House is the larger building on Bennett near the Flat Topped New England Home. PL

“No river can return to its source, yet all rivers must have a beginning.”

64 ASOUTHERNSOPHISTICATION

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January/February 2022 Pinehurst Living Magazine

Articles inside

Calendar

On the Green

Healthy Choices

Beyond the Sign

In Vino, Veritas

On the Buckle

Life Under Pines

From the Editor

The Garden

Books