Page 4-the star & lamp-Spring 1990
When a date becomes a crime Continued from page 2 "No" is heard as"maybe"and even a strong protest can be ignored under the delusion that women say "no" but mean "yes." Some men find it sexually exciting to have a woman struggle. If the woman protests only mildly he may think he is "persuading" her, not forcing her to have sex.(He may think the same if she protests vigorously.) A man may be thinking that the woman is playing hard to get. The potential for rape exists when two people do not have a clear understanding of each other's sexual intentions and expectations. The price for going out to dinner and a movie is not intercourse. Sex role stereotypes also play a role in acquaintance rape. Many people believe that men should be competitive and aggressive, and women yielding and passive. There are many misconceptions about male-female sexuality. Men are often trained to think in terms of "scoring," to treat sex as a test of prowess. No wonder that abusers think of themselves not as threatening but as attractive males making an offer that is too good to refuse; nor do acquaintance rapists think of their coercion as force. Attitudes about rape are developed at a relatively young age. A recent study of 1,700 students in grades six through nine exposes early misconceptions about rape. Fifty percent of the student body stated that a woman was asking to be raped if she dressed sexy. Fifty-one percent of the boys and 41 percent of the girls said that a man had the right to force a woman to kiss him,for a lot of money. They defined a lot of money to be $15. Fiftyone of the boys said that it was alright for a man to rape a woman he had for six months. The fraternal environment has often been labeled as a major contributor to the rape crisis. According to Bernice Sandler, Executive Director, Project on the Status and Education of Women:"Fraternities very often provide an atmosphere where sexual prowess, sexual activity, scoring is encouraged,permitted,reinforced. Some frats have posted on a bulletin board who scored with whom the night before." Fraternities offer young men structure, friendship, formality and ritual at a time in their lives when they are looking for just such guidance. This guidance, however, is often misdirected. Brothers' reinforcement of each other is stronger than the campus'or society's disapproval. Little sisters and sorority member are at high risk of becoming victims ofsexual assault for several reasons. The prescribed familial bond between these women and fraternity members and the assumed trust that often goes along with this bond. The nomenclature suggests family unity and safety. It is often the case the women's trust of fraternity brothers is taken advantage of. A primary myth surrounding this issue is that date or acquaintance rape is not a punishable crime.The fact is that rape,ofany sort, is a felony. Women who have been raped by an acquaintance have the same options as those raped by strangers.They can press criminal and/or civil charges against the man who raped them.d There are varying degrees of criminal sexual conduct laws. These include contact with specified parts of the body - even ifclothing covers those parts of the body. Sexual assault does no always include penetration. The burden of proof, as with all crime, lies with the victim. Alcohol and drugs are a factor in 90 percent of all rapes. Many victims say later that they drank too much to realize their predicament, until it was too late. But men should know that under any circumstances, sex without the other person's consent is considered rape. And drinking is no excuse. Although consent is defined in various ways by state laws,sobriety is an ingredient necessary to give consent. Attorney Ron Doleac states,"Consentfrom a drunk person doesn't count, because herjudgement is impaired by alcohol. Consent requires an informed deci-
sion about your conduct." In the state of Ohio,date/acquaintance rape is first degree felony, punishable by four to 25 years in prison and up to $10,000 in fines. In gang rape situations, the laws can be even tougher. In Michigan, if two or more perpetrators are involved in a forcible act of sexual penetration, the crime can be punishable by life imprisonment or any term of same ifshe protests vigorously.)A man may be thinking that the woman is playing hard to get. The potential for rape exists when two people do not have a clear understanding ofeach other's sexual intentions and expectations. The price for going out to dinner and a movie is not intercourse. Sex role stereotypes also play a role in years. The FBI states that rape, like most other crimes, only sees about a 2 percent ratio offalse charges. Without these laws the situation would be much worse. Consider a study done at UCLA where 35 percent of
college-aged men said they would violently rape if they knew they could get away with it. Among the skills college students need to know before they begin to cope with campus life is knowing how to handle sexual abuse. Unwelcome sexual attention - ranging from classroom intimidation and lewd sexist comments to gang rape - are increasing. Some of the incidents reported seem relatively petty: sexist graffiti,sexistjoking, mooning,male students explicitly commenting on the sexual attributes of women on campus. However petty, such actions are annoying and embarrassing and leave women feeling devalued,powerless and uncomfortable. Not to mention the fact this is defiantly conduct unbecoming a gentleman ofLambda Chi Alpha. Rape is not just a woman's issue, because the problem will not stop until the men stop raping.It is the men who are causing the crime, it is men who say it is alright to
reward aggressiveness. Men can have an effect on other men. They can find ways to make unacceptable the view that sex is cornpetition, an expression of power, and that a sexual assault is a score. This issue confronts every man and woman because it affects the quality of life for all of us. Rape is a crime of violence, no lust. Rape by strangers is paralleled by a rise in general violence in our society. The rise in date/acquaintance rape is said to have been accompanied by reports of physical abuse on dates. It's bad enough that one cannot walk home anymore without being escorted. Now they must be on guard even with people whom they know. The violence of our society has infected friendships between men and women.This is a very high price to pay. Story by Steven D. Blair, Associate Director qiChapterServiceslAlumniforLambda Chi Alpha Fraternity. Reprinted with permisionfrom Lambda Chi Alpha.
because ALL oppose Date Rape has nothing to do with the fraternity experience. It is the most blatant form of sexual harassment that demeans both men and women.
We, the men's general fraternities united in the National Interfraternity Conference, are dedicated and determined to deal with date rape. We stand united in our affirmation of basic standards of human behavior. We instill the principles of diligence, honor, integrity, virtue, duty and respect for human dignity.
Consider these facts: • A reported rape happens every six minutes in the United States.
• More than halfofthe rapes occur between people who have met before: so-called "date rapes." • Women are most vulnerablefor rape during thefirst year ofcollege and one in five will be the victim ofsexual assault by someone she knows during her college years. •In a 1985 study one in 12 college men admitted they hadforced— or tried toforce — a woman to have sex. • The same study reported that one in eight women on campus had been raped.