Philadelphia City Paper, August 13th, 2015 by Philadelphia City Paper

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IN THIS ISSUE … p. 8

CHESS MATES IN THIS WEEK’S Penn & Ink, Philly writer and ed it or Jake Blum gart crafts the words and Steve Teare, an illustrator and art teacher based in West Philly, team up to de scribe some regulars who hold forth in the chess games that have been taking place at Clark Park since the mid-1980s. You can read more by Blumgart in his Jawnts column in the Opinion section of Sunday’s Inquirer. Teare is part of the Phinkwell Comic Book Collective, and he wrote and illustrated a series called Back and Forth. Our advice: Never risk the king.

CP STAFF Associate Publisher Jennifer Clark Editor in Chief Lillian Swanson Senior Editor Patrick Rapa Arts & Culture Editor Mikala Jamison Food Editor Jenn Ladd Senior Staff Writer Emily Guendelsberger Staff Writer Jerry Iannelli Copy Chief Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, Dotun Akintoye, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Bryan Bierman, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Mark Cofta, Adam Erace, David Anthony Fox, Caitlin Goodman, K. Ross Hoffman, Jon Hurdle, Deni Kasrel, Alli Katz, Gary M. Kramer, Josh Kruger, Drew Lazor, Alex Marcus, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, John Morrison, Michael Pelusi, Natalie Pompilio, Sameer Rao, Jim Saksa, Elliott Sharp, Marc Snitzer, Nikki Volpicelli, Brian Wilensky, Andrew Zaleski, Julie Zeglen. Production Director Dennis Crowley Senior Designer/Social Media Director Jenni Betz Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Charles Mostoller, Hillary Petrozziello, Maria S. Young, Neal Santos, Mark Stehle U.S. Circulation Director Joseph Lauletta (ext. 239) Account Managers Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Russell Marsh (ext. 260), Susanna Simon (ext. 250) Classified Account Manager Jennifer Fisher (215-717-2681) Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel founded City Paper in a Germantown storefront in November 1981. Local philanthropist Milton L. Rock purchased the paper in 1996 and published it until August 2014 when Metro US became the paper’s third owner.

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BEST BIG WEEKLY IN PA 2015 KEYSTONE PRESS AWARDS

COVER DESIGN & PHOTOGRAPH // Jenni Betz

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THE BELL CURVE

THIS WEEK ’S TOTAL: -2 // THE YEAR SO FAR: -16

OUR WEEKLY QUALITY-OF-LIFE-O-METER

City Council says it wants Comcast to provide free Internet in rec centers, parks and prisons. “All places on our masturbation bucket list.”

A group of local techies say they’re planning to build a new project inspired by hitchBOT. “So far our biggest hurdle is figuring out how to put a cute little robot face on it that doesn’t make us want to tear it limb from limb.”

more picks on p. 17

Tongue & Groove Spontaneous Theater, Philly’s un ique im prov company, con tinue month ly second-Friday performances by asking, “Who are you?” Audience members anonymously write their answers on index cards, then the ensemble instantly creates a montage of scenes and monologues from them. T&G generates sincere and funny insights about people and relationships. This is Tongue & Groove’s last show before the Neighborhood Fringe, in which they’ll de but a show with a new format called Groove (Sept. 10-19). 8/14, Playground at the Adrienne, tongue-groove. com. —Mark Cofta

-1

A tombstone for an 8-year-old child is found at a New Jersey bus terminal. So maybe somebody should just shut up and eat their fucking peas.

Hamdi Ulukaya, founder and CEO of Chobani yogurt, becomes the majority owner of La Colombe. “I’m really into helping people poop,” he explains.

JENA FRIEDMAN: AMERICAN C*NT

QUICK PICKS

TONGUE & GROOVE: WHO

-3

Who

Urban Outfitters draws ire for its “Hindu goddess jewelry stand,” the third time the Philly-based company has been accused of offending Hindus. Then Urban Outfitters died and came back as Spencer’s Gifts.

-1

Eagles fans post a petition on change.org asking the pope to bless quarterback Sam Bradford’s knees. Guys, please. You’re going to turn this pope circus into a farce.

D ER EK YU

SEPTA extends the deadline for people to purchase Papal Passes. Oh, we’re going for like an Orwell/Zamyatin police state kinda thing. No, that’s fine. It’s just. Why couldn’t we do one of the cool dystopias, like where we all wear neckerchiefs and eat biscuits made out of old people or whatever?

Destroyer Of Light

She’s written for Letterman and was a field producer for The Daily Show, but those are behind-the-scenes kinds of credits. You need to see Jena Friedman’s standup to appreciate how super fuckin’ funny she is. Part wicked satirist and a bit sadsack loner, Friedman does dark underdog delusion like nobody else. 8/14,Balcony at the Trocadero, the troc. com. —Patrick Rapa THE MAN WITH THE MOVIE CAMERA

Named “Best Doc umentary of All Time” in last year’s Sight & Sound poll, Dziga Vertov’s 1929 “city symphony” merits the praise but is so much more expansive than the title suggests.The pseudonymous Soviet filmmaker’s landmark film is a Rosetta Stone for the possibilities of cinema itself, an exuberant compilation of ways to see, interpret and abstract the world through the camera’s eye. 8/14, International House, ihousephilly.org. —Shaun Brady

OPPRESSIVE FEST

Pretty much the philosophical opposite of Treat Y’rself Fest, Oppressive Fest is about crowding into a small, dark room with some very loud bands and seeing what blows up. JK. If you’re not into hard barking, heavy riffing and bands who call themselves Destroyer of Light, Godhunter, Decap Attak, Dirtbag and Total Fucking Destruction (my faves), you may wish to retreat yourself. 8/16, Kung Fu Necktie, kungfunecktie. com.—Patrick Rapa

TREAT Y’RSELF

Listen to music, buy records, buy clothes, do crafts, eat food and know that all of your gluttony is going to a good cause. Some of the proceeds from Treat Y’rself fest go to the Oct. 3 March to End Rape Culture — an event that works to shine light on sexual assault and the very real issue of victim blaming. This Saturday, see tear-up sets from The Pretty Greens, Myrrias and Mercury Girls and flip the pages of zines made by Permanent Wave Philly, Katie Zall and more. It’s almost exhausting how much good stuff is going on here. 8/15, PhilaMOCA, philamoca. org. —Nikki Volpicelli

Pretty Greens

PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

THENAKEDCITY

NEWS // OPINION // POLI T ICS

ON THE WHITEBOARD: Local makers brainstorm about what kind of a robot to create at a hastily arranged hackathon last week. They’re going to build one at their project meeting Thursday night. ANDREW ZALESKI

Thursday’s event, while stressing that the intent of the evening was not to think up a hitchBOT 2 or hitchBOT Philly.“Whatever we make will have its own identity.” Several ideas were brought forward and sketched out. Steve Groundwater had already thought up a potential name for a new robot, Philly Love Bot — complete with a website he had created, PhillyLoveBot.org — and offered the name to any of the hackathon attendees interested in using it. Another group began working on an Arduino-powered LED matrix. The matrix is now finished and flashes what hackathon attendee Maximillian Lawrence calls “8-bit emojis of condolence.” Hacktory board member Ashley John Pigford was part of one hackathon team

TECH TALK

BY ANDREW ZALESKI

THE LOVE BOT

Local makers are designing good-deed robots in response to hitchBOT’s demise. NEARLY TWO WEEKS have passed since the corpse of hitchBOT, the Canadian robot road-tripping the U.S., was found in Philadelphia’s Old City neighborhood armless, mangled and malfunctioning. During that time, The Hacktory, the University City-based nonprofit electronic hardware makerspace, has begun making plans for a new robot, not to replace hitchBOT, but to send out a signal to the world that there are some good souls in Philadelphia, too Local makers expect to finish the first Philly Love Bot from simple parts this Thursday at The Hacktory’s weekly project night. The Hacktory’s executive director, Georgia Guthrie, learned of hitchBOT’s demise on Aug. 1 when she started seeing message after message piling up on Twitter. When she confirmed that hitchBOT was damaged, she contacted the robot’s creators — a university team out of Ontario, Canada — looking to make amends.

“All the electronics were gone, and the reaction on social media was, ‘Oh, that’s Philly for you,’” Guthrie told City Paper. “I emailed the team immediately.” But in the week fol low ing the destruction of hitchBOT, members of Philadelphia’s making community banded together to pay their respects to the hitchhiking robot. Organizing with the help of Guthrie andThe Hacktory, about 40 local makers assembled at Drexel University’s ExCITe Center last Thursday for a three-hour hackathon. During a Skype call with Colin Gragich, one of the Canadians responsible for assembling hitchBOT, Guthrie summed up the prevailing sentiment of attendees at the hastily arranged hackathon. “We’re sorry for what happened, and thank you for supporting all our efforts to make amends,” she said. Created by professors David Harris Smith and Frauke Zeller of, respectively, McMaster and Ryerson uni-

versities in Ontario, hitchBOT had a simple purpose: Travel the planet via hitchhiking, being picked up and dropped off at a variety of destinations by curious humans. HitchBOT, which was programmed to take photographs at 20-minute intervals, was an experiment in human empathy, and the robot traveled across Canada, Germany and the Netherlands prior to arriving in Massachusetts for its American trek on July 17. On the way to its final destination in San Francisco, hitchBOT was supposed to check off experiences on a 16-item bucket list. It managed to hit two of them — a sports game and New York City’s Times Square — prior to arriving in Philadelphia and having its robot-ass kicked by still-unknown perpetrators. At the hackathon, while wearing custom T-shirts featuring an image of hitchBOT on the front and the words “HitchBOT will rise again” on the back, Philly makers brainstormed ways to honor the tiny Canadian robot, including the possible creation of a robot (or robots) similar to hitchBOT as a demonstration of Philly’s affection for pseudo-sentient beings. Several people even wrote apology notes. One of them, by Steve M., read: “Dear hitchBOT, I look forward to the day when we can ride together and not die together. #badboys4life.” “We want to make this a response to what happened,” said Guthrie at last

They are not designing another hitchBOT. ‘Whatever we make will have its own identity.’ that ran with Groundwater’s name suggestion and sketched onto a whiteboard a set of potential design specifications for a Philly Love Bot: The robot will weigh under 10 pounds, be capable of fitting into a 5-gallon bucket, be aesthetically pleasing and be capable of being built from a relatively simple list of parts. “The builder makes the bot and offers it to someone. If they accept it, they are promising to do an act of kindness or a good deed,” he says, adding that good deeds could be documented on Instagram or Twitter with the hashtags #BotterlyLove or #PhillyLoveBot.“The plans for the bot are simple, and there is no preset form factor for the bot — just a design spec. We want people to build their own.” The goal, Pigford says, is for as many robots as possible. “It’s all about sharing the love, basically, as a response to what happened to the hitchBOT in Philly. … We’re not trying to prove anything other than that there are good people in Philadelphia.” (editorial@citypaper.net)

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PARODY

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MARTY

ADO ME!PT

1-2 years old

I’m Marty, a very friendly cat who gives hugs! I’m 1 to 2 years old and was found as a stray. I would love a home where I can play and explore!

Marty is waiting at PAWS Northeast Adoption Center · 1810 Grant Ave. Phila, PA 19115 · 215-545-9600 All PAWS animals are spayed/neutered, vaccinated, and microchipped before adoption. For more information, call 215-238-9901 or email adoptions@phillypaws.org

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Photo by Paws 4 the Moment Photography

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MEET PETER HEACOCK, PHILLY’S BIGGEST VINE STAR

PHOTO BY PETER HEACOCK

BY JERRY IANNELLI

eter Heacock had been using the phone application Vine — which lets users create looping, six-second video clips — for only a few months in May 2013 when an unexpected message popped up on his Facebook feed. It came from a fellow Viner, who goes by the handle Nick Mastodon, and it was an invitation to join a private chat group named, without explanation, the “Super Mario Bros. Climbing Plant.” Heacock accepted the invite, and began scrolling back through the feed: As it turns out, some of the world’s most well-known Vine users had been chatting there for weeks. Occasionally, a famous face would pop up — a host of celebrities and comedians, like Andy Milonakis and

CAMERA TRICKS: Heacock’s Vines often show him shrinking, growing, vanishing or changing in shape.

Bo Burnham, had been looped into the chat room. “It was like being added into the cool kids’ club,” Heacock says. “It was sort of like the first day of school, where you’re picking all your new friends. The 80-plus members of the community were sort of the ‘Who’s Who’ of Vine for the first two-and-ahalf years. Some of these kids have gone on to be mega-famous.”

The group included Viners like Jerome Jarre, a Frenchman who would eventually amass more than 8 million followers; Rudy Mancuso, who regularly records Vines with Justin Bieber, and Brandon Bowen, who often collaborates with the actors Josh Peck and John Stamos. Each of the three has had his clips “looped” — Vine slang for “viewed” — more than a billion times. Heacock is a 37-year-old with the air of a highschooler. His features are boyish, he wears T-shirts almost exclusively and has a sly, scheming smile. His brown hair, trimmed close at the sides, twirls each morning into varying degrees of bedhead. In conversation, he tends to fidget with the items on his desk, and speaks in a slow, measured drawl, making it seem like he could doze off at any moment. He runs the Vine collective UnPopular Now, a group made up of some of the biggest stars in the world of social media. He is by far the most popular person in Philly on an app that is potentially the biggest driver of “youth culture” in the country. And, now, he and his friends are beginning to make serious money just by being interesting for six seconds at a time. Two years ago, Heacock, who has a film degree from New York University’s Tisch School for the Arts, was working as a waiter at Sancho Pistola’s when a friend told him about the app, which Twitter owns. He began cutting together his own comedy Vines in his spare time, many of them featuring his young son, who was then only three months old. In one early clip, Heacock, in a hoodie, tries to explain the birds and bees to the infant. “When a man and a woman love each other very much,” he begins, while the camera cuts back and forth between himself and the baby, who looks dumbfounded, “and then drink too much gin on their honeymoon,” — he pauses, shaking his head — “No, wait, let me start over,” he says, and the clip repeats itself. “The early days of Vine were very much about art, and what you could do with nothing,” Heacock says. His clips started landing regularly on the platform’s “Popular Now” page, which showcases the most-liked Vines each day, and he began shooting messages to other big artists “just saying like, ‘Hey! I dig your stuff.’” Those messages accidentally led him to Mastodon, who had been curating the secret chat group. Heacock quickly became a regular there, and started suggesting new members, like comedian Josh Gaines, who goes by the handle Josh Darnit. Gaines, who is in his 40s, now has more than three million followers, and is one of Vine’s most popular comedians. “Those of us who weren’t in the group figured there was a place where those people were meeting,” Gaines says. “They were collaborating, hacking each other’s accounts, that sort of stuff.” But Heacock was starting to realize the group was sitting on a potential gold mine. “I was always interested in seeing if I could make things go viral,” he says. A friend, Ridd Sorensen, had made a series of Vines in which Siri, the robotic iPhone assistant, continually insults him. Sorensen then compiled that footage into a YouTube video. “I went on the Facebook page and was like, ‘Let’s make Ridd famous today,’” Heacock says. “So I put the video on Reddit. Within an hour, it was on top of Reddit, and two days later it had close to a million views.

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

Everybody’s like, ‘Holy shit, you know what you’re doing. Can you do it again?’”

he community of basement filmmakers who started using Vine has since been supplanted by a horde of teenagers, who have turned the app into what is essentially a warp-speed version of late-era MTV. More than a hundred million people now watch Vines each month, and the vast majority of those users are under the age of 20, according to Adweek. For teens, the app is the central hub through which many discover new pop songs, laugh at jokes, teach each other dance moves and connect with friends, and where they can, for the moment, do so without running into their parents. “There’s this one kid I follow who will travel around and just post something saying, ‘Hey, who wants to hang out?’ and he’ll find friends wherever he is,” Heacock says. “Vine is definitely responsible for the most collaboration among social networks. Another way to put that is that more people have gotten laid using it than any other app, except probably Tinder.” Use Vine for an hour straight and you’ll likely have watched close to 600 different clips, an amount that perfectly suits the short-circuit attention span of today’s digitally saturated tweens. In January, Vine reported that its videos were being looped 1.5 billion times each day. “Time slows down when you’re posting something that short,” says Gaines. “I’d post something, and then eight hours would go by, and then I’d be looking back at content going like, ‘That felt like three days ago.’” When Vine launched in 2013, co-founders Dom Hofmann and Rus Yusupov reportedly said the original concept was simply to be “Twitter for video,” wherein users would post quick updates as they went to the grocery store or hung out with friends. Editing is a cinch: Viners hold down a single button to record

video, and then let go to pause. But after an update in April 2013 let users film with a smartphone’s frontfacing “selfie” camera, teens began overwhelmingly using the app to film themselves, rather than what was happening around them. Within months, scores of tanned, unblemished, fame-hungry kids started running amok on the platform — Nash Grier, 17, who has a set of supernaturally blue eyes and more than 12 million followers, blew up almost immediately, though, like most “Vine stars,” he doesn’t exactly do much, save telling tired jokes and showing off his abs when the situation arises. Grier’s younger brother Hayes, who himself has millions of followers, is touring arenas across the country with other Vine stars on the DigiTour — the group does little more than pose onstage for two hours as swarms of teenage girls snap photos. With all these young eyeballs trained in a single place, Vine is a golden goose for advertisers, who have been shoveling money at popular Viners in a transparent attempt to influence teenagers, right as they begin to buy things on their own. Viners have been happy to oblige, and have stumped for everything from soda and video games to health insurance and laundry detergent — some companies have paid big-time Viners like Nash Grier at least $100,000 to make a six-second spot. Twitter began hooking individual Viners up with brands in 2013. About that time, Heacock suggested to the group that it create a collective account, which it could use to promote its members, and would, hopefully, act one day as the conduit through which all popular Viners made their mark. If the account reposted someone’s Vine, Heacock surmised, it could be an invaluable co-sign for an emerging artist. His friends agreed, and eventually named the group “UnPopular Now,” a take off on the app’s main “Popular Now” page. To announce the collective’s formation in June

of that year, the group created a central UnPopular Now Vine account, and each “UnPop” member posted his or her own introduction video. Word got around the web immediately: Mashable asked whether UnPopular Now would become the “one Vine account to rule them all,” and an angry mob of Vine users accused the group of conspiring to take over the entire platform in something of a coup. Within weeks, a representative from Twitter reached out to Heacock (using Facebook, ironically), asking if he knew anyone who’d be willing to put some spots together for Budweiser.

he work began to flow in almost overnight, and it was all Heacock could do to keep up. Jobs were coming in at a breakneck pace: For the group’s first spot, which advertised Bud Light Ritas, a line of drinks made from equal parts Bud Light and margarita mix, Heacock asked a bunch of animators, including Lawrence Becker of Brooklyn and Alicia Herber of Austin, Texas, to craft a series of stop-motion pieces, most of which involved anthropomorphic limes or ice cubes jumping into beer cans. Though most of the Viners interviewed for this piece were reluctant to say specifically what each made from a given campaign, Herber said she regularly charges between $5,000 and $8,000 per branded Vine, and makes three or four of them a month, which means her yearly income, solely from Vine, PHOTOS BY MARIA S. YOUNG

FRAME BY FRAME: A paper replica of Hogwarts Castle rises from a pile of rubble, one shot at a time.

CONTINUED ON PG. 12

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CONTINUED FROM PG. 11

PHOTO BY MARIA S. YOUNG

‘I HAVE NO INTEREST IN BEING A CELEBRITY. JUST IN MAKING GOOD WORK.’

hovers around $200,000. Heacock says he typically charges around $5,000 for a spot, but the price can sometimes balloon up to $40,000. There were other campaigns, too, for everything from Armani to McDonald’s to the Tribeca Film Festival. In 2014, Target sponsored a massive initiative, called #UnPopTheBox, in which the company sent UnPop members boxes full of random items, like tennis racquets, and asked them to film themselves opening the box. The ads were looped millions of times. But, just as things were coming together, they seemed to be coming apart. Jerome Jarre, who became world-famous for pulling pranks on strangers in public, left UnPop almost immediately to found a full-scale Vine marketing agency called Grapestory, which began cranking out Vine ads with the likes of Ben Stiller. Other members started moving out to Los Angeles, in an attempt to convert their Vine stardom into full-fledged acting gigs or record deals. Marcus Johns, a young, attractive comedian who now has more than 6 million followers, “went out to L.A. to visit his brother, Cody,” Heacock says. “Marcus held this thing called the SuperVine, and hundreds of girls showed up to it. Until then, everything was much more charming. There was a core group of guys who would hang out in New York and kind of be knuckleheads and have beers, but when Marcus held the SuperVine, things got ‘L.A.’ really quick. But that’s what L.A. does — it does hype really well.” A 42-year-old UnPop member from Oklahoma, who calls himself kingdaddy, says it was obvious the group wouldn’t stay close for very long. (He

does not reveal his face or name to the public.) “We absolutely watched it happen,” he says. “Although I hesitate to say that it all splintered off. To watch people migrate to L.A. to chase their dreams has been fun. But the audience is so young, there’s no way there’s going to be continuity — it’ll be interesting to see in five years where these ‘Vine stars’ are.” In February, Twitter bought Niche, another Vine marketing agency, and began funneling virtually every advertising request it had through its new subsidiary. “You can’t keep up with Niche,” Heacock says. “The reason we worked so well was that Twitter gave us a lot of work. But they realized they were giving out a lot of work, and realized they could keep that 30 percent or 40 percent agency markup for themselves. It was a brilliant move.” Gaines, too, says the rise of Niche has made UnPop “slow for brands lately.” This means that Heacock needs to figure out how to work with — rather than against — Niche, and sustain an entertainment business from Philadelphia. Heacock, who is married and raising a young son, with a second son on the way, says he’s missed the boat to head out to L.A. and grow the brand that way. “I have no interest in being a celebrity,” he says. “Just in making good work. I wish Vine was around when I was 23, sure. But I’m not really interested in turning my family into Vine characters.”

nstead, Heacock has created something of a “Vine factory” in what appears at first to be an abandoned warehouse in Old Kensington, on Hancock Street, across from a horse farm. Inside —

past a metal gate, up three winding staircases, into a studio space the size of a suburban garage — a sofasized copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban sits open on a table and under a scaffold of blazing stage lights. Tiny, crumpled pieces of newsprint have been piled like leaves onto the left-hand page, and a structure, which looks like a church, stands amid the rubble. A thin cylinder — which, I am told, will eventually become a turret — juts up above the little house. This, apparently, is Hogwarts Castle. “We don’t need to get it exactly right,” Heacock says. “It all comes from a book anyway, so it’s all someone’s interpretation.” He reaches toward a table, grabs a smaller, standard-sized copy of the novel and holds it up, open. “It’s a stop-motion parody of the Game of Thrones theme. The book will open like this, and then we’ll zoom in, and switch to the big set here. We matched the pages exactly, so the viewer won’t notice the difference. Hogwarts Castle will rise up, and then the camera will zoom around and over it. We could do it on a smaller scale like this,” he says, waving the open book up and down, “but it’d be a lot harder.” Heacock, Gretchen Lohse, UnPop’s second in command, and intern Joan Kamberaj are working on what will eventually become one of the group’s first longer-form YouTube pieces, one that will hopefully go viral online. The trick, Heacock says, standing under a framed Hunter S. Thompson poster, is to create something that’s “relatable” to his teenage audience, which today means capitalizing on the two franchises’ popularity to drum up clicks. “It’s hard because, my whole life, ‘relatable’ humor meant shitty humor,” he says. The soft-spoken, bearded Kamberaj, who appears to be doing most of the heavy lifting at the moment, keeps bobbing and weaving between the castle, a pile of paper cutouts and a camera stationed a few feet away. Every few minutes, Kamberaj brings his face close up to one of the towers and gingerly sticks an extra shingle onto one of the turrets, before reaching over to snap the next frame. “We’re basically learning as we go,” Heacock says. “But we may have bitten off more than we can chew with this one.” It’s been close to four weeks, and the group has only shot a few seconds of footage. So far, they’ve built the huge book page-by-page out of card stock, studied how paper moves, how to backlight the paper so that it glows. But pushing past six seconds has been chaotic. He turns to Kamberaj, who is hovering above the structure on his tiptoes, placing another piece on the castle with the grace of a ballerina. It’s 3 p.m. on a Friday. “Hurry up, Joan,” Heacock says. “Let me take you on in mini golf.” (jerry@citypaper.net,@jerryiannelli)

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

ARTS // MUSIC // T HEAT ER // BOOKS

MARIE UBALDINI

FOLK FESTS BEST BETS Della Mae

CRACKERFARM

HARD TO HANDLE: PhillyBloco builds on what founder Mike Stevens heard in Rio de Janeiro, but adds accordion, violins and more.

SOUND ADVICE

BY MARY ARMSTRONG

At this year’s Folk Alliance International, The Hillbenders’ bluegrass rendering of Tommy (yes, The Who’s rock opera) was so popular that throngs of us were huddled around the conference’s closed circuit TVs. They’ll play it again Saturday afternoon at 2 p.m. After PhillyBloco ’s (see left) main stage performance, look for a pied-piper trail up the hill to the Culture Tent, where all comers get a chance to learn rhythm patterns and feel what it’s like to be part of that pulsing machine. If you are more of a hands-on, old-school folkie, the Culture Tent should be your hang, guaranteed to have audience involvement. Except for late at night, when films like A Mighty Wind (who says folkies can’t laugh at themselves?) and Alice’s Restaurant will screen. Arlo Guthrie, who wrote the song of the same name, will be on the main stage Friday night. French Louisiana is well represented by

FOLK FEST

BY MARY ARMSTRONG

BLOCO MOTION

How a local percussionist put Philly on the Brazilian map. BEFORE THERE WAS PhillyBloco, Mike Stevens was already on the local scene calling the changes with Alô Brasil — drum sticks in his hand, whistle gripped in his teeth. Playing with a top-notch Brazilian group was great but Stevens, still in his 20s, had dreams. “The more people I can get excited about Brazilian music, the happier I am. That is my goal,” says Stevens. That’s why he started his own samba school to nurture newbies to the tradition. “Many of my students have never played drums before and don’t start off knowing Brazilian music.” Clearly he’s doing something right. The school, Unidos da Filadelfia, just celebrated its 10th anniversary. Drawing from the best students in Unidos, Stevens formed PhillyBloco in 2008. “Originally we started out like the Rio blocos: drums, one stringed instrument and a singer,” he says. But Stevens, who professes a love for New Orleans brass bands and James Brown, had to add some horns, a minimum two trumpets and a trombone. And, why not, an accordion, some keyboards, a violin, a little of this and

that and … “You look up and there are 24 people on stage!” laughs Stevens. People who already know Brazilian music may be stunned and delighted by a PhillyBloco set. Yes, samba is at the heart of the sound, with all the percussion in a typical samba school represented, but that’s just the foundation. Stevens explains that after getting the Brazilian bug in college he began to travel to Brazil each summer to study with some of the “hotshot young percussionists” there. It wasn’t long before the bloco sound — born at block parties and carnivals in Rio de Janeiro — won his heart with the way it takes samba drums and adapts them to other rhythms like funk and ashé. This has led PhillyBloco to some fantastic adaptations like Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” set to a Northern Brazilian beat with accordion and Otis Redding’s “Hard to Handle” done up as samba funk. (@citypaper) PhillyBloco plays the Folk Festival at 5:25 p.m. Saturday. For more Folk Fest highlights, see right.

Chubby Carrier and the Bayou Swamp Band in the Lobby Tent, the one with the big dance floor, at 2 p.m. on Sunday. Steve Riley and the Mamou Playboys come on right after

The more people I can get excited about Brazilian music, the happier I am.

them at 3 p.m., with a set fit for two-steps and waltzes. For the sedentary Cajun fans, Riley and company take the main stage around 6:30. They will follow Tom Paxton. Ask him to explain all the inside jokes in A Mighty Wind. As one of the Folk Revival’s most beloved song spinners, he witnessed it all. Paxton has declared this his farewell tour, so don’t miss it. Bluegrass purists love Della Mae (Sunday, 4:30 p.m.). Everybody loves Lyle Lovett, from songwriting buffs to swing dancers. His Large Band will stir up the Saturday night crowd. If you want a good cross section of local talent, try the “Folk Roots of the Grateful Dead” theme with Chris Kasper, No Good Sister, John Francis and Rootology, among the baker’s dozen performing that tribute (Friday, 4:30 p.m.). Kicking off the festival at the Front Porch Stage, 11 a.m. Friday, is local songwriter Aaron Nathans and cello-playing partner Michael G. Ronstadt. (editorial@citypaper.net) Philadelphia Folk Festival, Thu.-Sun., Aug. 13-16, Old Pool Farm, Upper Salford Township, Pa., 215-247-1300, pfs.org/folk-festival.

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BY MARK COFTA

CURTAIN CALL

WAR IS HELL REBECC A GUDELUNAS

COMMONWEALTH CLASSIC THEATRE Company heads indoors after a hot July tour of The Tempest for their third annual “Cool Classics” production — but this one’s a world premiere, Paul Parente’s gripping Rage of Achilles. Ancient Greek plays are often delivered with a 2,500-year-old poetic weightiness. Parente’s script, while set in the time of the Trojan War and alluding to many of The Iliad’s key events, is not a translation or adaptation. Instead, it’s a fresh retelling, doing for Homer what Tom Stoppard’s Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead does for Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Though Rage of Achilles is often verbally witty and brisk, it also reveals real war in all its brutality. Adam Altman and Charlotte Northeast play spies Dimitri and Thano, narrowly surviving on the fringes of Greece’s nine-year siege of Troy with

‘ Though Rage of Achilles is often verbally witty and brisk, it also reveals real war in all its brutality.’ sometimes-friend Dius (J. Hernandez). Their desperation, along with herald Talthybius’ (Eric Scotolati) suicidal tendencies, provides a lot of laughs, but they’re also witnesses to, and victims of, much of the play’s horror. The Iliad’s stars — warrior Achilles and his cousin Patroclus (both played by Nathan Foley), King Agamemnon and Helen’s jilted husband Menelaus (another successful doubling, by John Lopes), and Troy’s King Priam (Brian Anthony Wilson) — thunder and blunder like the demigods they are, trampling on mere humans while absorbed in petty passions, like Achilles’ and Agamemnon’s tiff over beautiful slave girl Briseis (Anna Zaida Scannell Szapiro). Damon Bonetti’s smart production perfectly balances moments of humor and humanity with the war’s epic bloodiness. While Ian Rose’s large battles are almost dance-like, the violence suffered by the common man — crunching bones, bloody spurts — is shockingly real. Woven all through are The Iliad’s classic themes — “If we act like heroes, we’ll be heroes,” Dimitri naively posits — refocused through modern understanding of war’s horrors and its unnamed victims. Through Aug. 22, $15-$25, Commonwealth Classic Theatre Company at URBN Center Annex Black Box Theater, 3401 Filbert St., 610-2027878, commonwealthclassictheatre.org. (editorial@citypaper.net)

MOVIESHORTS

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CI T Y PAP ER CRI T ICS A-F.

REPERTORY FILM

BY DREW LAZOR

AWESOME FEST AT LIBERTY LANDS

926 N. American St., theawesomefest.com. Deathgasm (2015, New Zealand, 90 min.): The Awesome Fest’s 2015 outdoor screening series concludes with the Philly premiere of this heavy metal-charged horror comedy from New Zealand. Fri., Aug. 14, 9 p.m., free.

Film events and special screenings.

BRYN MAWR FILM INSTITUTE

824 W. Lancaster Ave., Bryn Mawr, 610-527-9898, brynmawrfilm.org. My Little Chickadee (1940, U.S., 83 min.): W.C. Fields and Mae West trade barbs in this quick-witted spoof of Western films. Thu., Aug. 13, 7 p.m., $12. Carmen (2015, U.K., 165 min.): Calixto Bieito reinvents the popular opera, setting it in post-Franco Spain. Sun., Aug. 16, 1 p.m., $20. The Birdcage (1996, U.S., 117 min.): “There are no straight maids in South Beach.” Wed., Aug. 19, 7:15 p.m., $12. INTERNATIONAL HOUSE

3701 Chestnut St., 215-387-5125, ihousephilly. org. Stories from Non-Putin Russia: This revealing month-long documentary series featuring 17 films will provide one-of-a-kind access into the real Russia. Full details at ihousephilly.org. Thu., Aug. 13, and Sat., Aug. 15, 7 p.m., $9. The Man with the Movie Camera (1929, Russia, 68 min.): Director Dziga Vertov’s influential (and newly restored) documentary, which plays with the concept of the camera as a seamless extension of the human eye. Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., $9. LA PEG

BIOPIC

A SUPPOSEDLY GOOD MOVIE: Jesse Eisenberg and Jason Segel in The End of the Tour.

140 N. Columbus Blvd., 215-375-7744, lapegbrasserie.com. The Birds (1963, U.S., 119 min.): Sometimes you just get attacked by a flock of bloodthirsty birds, you know? Wed., Aug. 19, 8:30 p.m., free.

THE END OF THE TOUR

/ A- / Watching The End of the Tour requires first confronting the fact that David Foster Wallace, here portrayed by Jason Segel during a three-day interview with Rolling Stone writer David Lipsky (Jesse Eisenberg), would not have wanted the film to exist. Wallace’s widow has been vocal in her objections — although director James Ponsoldt says he didn’t learn of them until production was underway — and the very idea of being immortalized on screen is antithetical to the Infinite Jest author’s ethos. Even Lipsky’s book-length account, published after Wallace’s 2008 suicide, emits a whiff of the vulturous. Fortunately, at least as these things go, artistic betrayal is not just an enabler of The End of the Tour’s existence but its central theme. Although he’s introduced eulogizing Wallace as one of his friends, Lipsky is more clearly positioned as his rival or an envious vampire trying to siphon off some of his fame and insight. Wallace welcomes

RITZ AT THE BOURSE

Lipsky into his home with an apparently open heart, and Lipsky repays him by using a spare moment to dictate the contents of Wallace’s living room into his tape recorder. (You can pick out the reporters in the audience at that moment by watching for the involuntary shudder of guilt.) The movie takes care to remind us that Wallace has been on the other end of this exchange, as a magazine profile’s author rather than its subject. He’s feeding Lipsky material even as he rebels against the process, preaching a (now-quaint) anti-TV gospel while still succumbing to the idiot box’s allure. There’s a kind of flat, blank quality to Segel’s performance, as if he’s still a character in an unfinished manuscript, but Eisenberg’s latest in a long, snakelike line of passiveaggressive wheedler portrayals is his sharpest. There’s something monstrous at the movie’s core, and that’s as it should be. —Sam Adams (Ritz East)

more reviews on p.16

400 Ranstead St., 215-440-1181, landmarktheatres.com. Labyrinth (1986, U.S., 101 min.): Why is it that when David Bowie steals a baby it’s all cute and fun and whimsical, but when I steal a baby it’s all “what have you done with my baby?!”? Fri., Aug. 14, midnight, $10. THE ROTUNDA

4014 Walnut St., therotunda.org. Tie Xu Qu: West of the Tracks (2003, China, 240 min.): The first installment of documentarian Wang Bing’s three-part series intimately explores the decline of industry in northeast China. Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., free. TROCADERO THEATRE

1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com. Mad Max (1979, Australia, 88 min.): The genesis of the post-apocalyptic outback adventure revisited by this year’s awesome Fury Road. Mon., Aug. 17, 8 p.m., $3.

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FILM SHORTS BEST OF ENEMIES // B

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“There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television.” That painfully American quote, from Gore Vidal, wouldn’t be out of place on the poster for Best of Enemies, which traces the genesis of smallscreen punditry back to a series of brutal and surreal debates between the Vidal and William F. Buckley Jr. Though codirectors Morgan Neville (Twenty Feet from Stardom) and Robert Gordon (Johnny Cash’s America) move away from their usual rockand-roll beat for this feature, they let their story loose at a high tempo, never allowing the surface stuffiness of their subjects to decelerate the pace. ABC, lagging far behind its Big Three competitors in the ratings, decided to switch up its coverage of the party conventions for the 1968 presidential election, inviting Vidal and Buckley — intellectuals known for stumping on opposite sides of the spectrum — to spar on live TV. Neville and Gordon contend that the results, a brash cocktail of brilliant discussion, smug indignation, skyrocketing tempers and cheap insults, set the precedent for the ad hominem everyoneyell format familiar to anyone who watches CNN or Fox News in 2015. (Their most combative exchange — Vidal labeling his opponent a “crypto-Nazi,” and Buckley batting it back by calling Vidal a “queer” — actually seems tame in this era of thick-headed Trump soundbites.) Best of Enemies is a stirring, if oversimplified, piece of American political genealogy, but the real interest rests with the debaters themselves, standard-bearers for the far left and far right whose personal and professional failures tied in inextricably with

Best of Enemies

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. their ideologies. The film is at its strongest when examining Buckley and Vidal’s private scars, as opposed to the public wounds they so viciously attempted to open up on each another. —Drew Lazor (Ritz Five)

THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E. // B

In his pressed-andstarched adaptation of the ’60s spy series The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Guy Ritchie fox-trots through the Cold War like a politician breezing by a cocktail party, having the appropriate amount of fun for someone who does not intend to stay and help clean up after. Though nuclear warheads and global crime syndicates are the challenges du jour, the geopolitical rigors never quite get to Napoleon Solo, the art thief-turned-American spook played here by Henry Cavill. Quick, effective and stylish to a nearly irritating degree, Solo is cool by design; when he talks, he might as well be snapping his fingers to an inaudible beat. Illya, Armie Hammer’s stodgy KGB operative, gets tossed into the fray for the sake of wacky-partners contrast. Despite not really looking the part —

Hammer’s WASP-y features read more “water polo goalie” than “grizzled Cossack assassin” — he gets the physically imposing bit right, and the rough-and-tumble stuff comes in handy once he’s forced to work with Cavill’s unflappable Yank to foil an international arms conspiracy. With the help of a spitfire German auto mechanic (Alicia Vikander), the agents bop around Europe on a high-style work holiday, and Ritchie stays on hand to ensure that the stakes, so high on paper, remain laughably low on the ground. If there’s one thing the director knows, it’s action, and he wisely allows the era to inform his moves, tamping down his tendency for overproduction with the tools of the time period. It’s flashy, vapid, unchallenging stuff, and no one’s ever out of control, including Ritchie himself. —Drew Lazor (wide release)

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FOLK/POP

EVENTS

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

: AUGUST 13 - AUGUST 19 :

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LARKIN GRIMM/ LAURYN PEACOCK

With that soft, clear voice and those invigorating choruses, Larkin Grimm recalls a time when singer-songwriters received airplay outside of commercials for coffee and shampoo. Despite her simple melodies and occasional whistling solos, Grimm’s probably too weird to make it as a pitchwoman (see songs like “Without a Body or a Numb and Useless Mind” and “Hello Pool of Tears”). Also on this bill is Philly favorite Lauryn Peacock, whose chamber folk orchestrations can be deeply arresting. You might want to sit down for this one. —Patrick Rapa

thursday

8/13

BARS OF GOLD

$10-$12 // Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., with Lightninging and Timbers, Boot & Saddle, 1131 S. Broad St., 267-6394528, bootandsaddlephilly.com. ROCK/POP Several members of Michigan’s Bars of Gold used to be in Bear vs. Shark, but don’t hold that against them — all the bands had names like that back then. Marc Paffi’s still got that elegantly gruff voice, and it sits nicely on BoG’s always-jangly and almost-funky rock ’n’ roll. —Patrick Rapa

GAYFEST!

$15-$25 // Through Aug. 22, Quince Productions at Plays & Players’ Skinner Studio, 1714 Delancey St., and Studio X, 1340 S. 13th St., quinceproductions.com. THEATER GayFest!, which

started last week with At the Flash and The Secretaries (which continues in repertory through Aug.

22), opens F.J. Hartland’s Mother Tongue on Friday at Plays & Players. Artistic director Rich Rubin stages this romantic comedy about a young man (Andrew Dean Laino) trying to form a relationship with a fortysomething (Bill Egan) haunted by memories of his late lover. Peggy Smith also stars. Michael Perlman’s drama From White Plains opened Wednesday at Plays & Players, also directed by Rubin, and documents a social media war between a screenwriter and the man who bullied his friend in high school, which led to the friend’s suicide. “One-Night Stand” shows include tonight’s Hot Ass Mess: A Gay Storytelling Extravaganza and Sunday’s Zach Ryan in Concert, both at Studio X. On Sunday afternoon at Plays & Players, GayFest! presents a staged reading of local playwright Michael Ruth’s relationship comedy In Gray She Ate. —Mark Cofta

Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-2914919, kungfunecktie.com.

NON PHIXION

FESTIVAL Eakins Oval

$20 // Thu., Aug. 13, 8 p.m., with Outerspace,

HIP-HOP Though they were both NYC rap trios founded by MC Serch, there was no confusing 3rd Bass and Non Phixion. The former were hip-hop pranksters who earned cred for the “The Gas-Face” and a beef with Vanilla Ice. But Non Phixion, (which Serch soon departed) was founded on serious-as-poison lyrics about bleeding, banging and getting over. After splitting up in 2006, Ill Bill, Gortex and co. re-formed Non Phixion last year and say it’s no nostalgia act. Can you dig it? —Patrick Rapa

f riday

8/14 CARIBBEAN NIGHT ON THE PARKWAY

Free // Fri., Aug. 14, 5 p.m., Eakins Oval, 2154224169, theovalphl.org. is one of the top familyfriendly hotspots in

Philly this summer. Thanks to the “Summer Kaleidoscope” art installation — created by Jessie Unterhalter and Katey Truhn in collaboration with the Mural Arts Program — the Oval has been transformed into a vibrant oasis. This Friday, a small Caribbean festival will add to the colorful vibe. Expect live music, food trucks and giant chess. Also, in case you needed a little liquid encouragement to show off your dutty wine skills, the beer garden will be open. —Lissa Alicia

STAMP IN OLD CITY

Free // Fri., Aug. 14, 3:30 p.m., National Constitution Center, 525 Arch St., 215-5577811, philaculture.org. MUSEUMS Tell all the Philly teens you know — STAMP (Students at Museums in Philly,

SISTER GRIMM: Larkin Grimm plays Sun., Aug. 16, 7 p.m., $7-$10, with Lauryn Peacock, Marian McLaughlin and Sky Steel, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org. PORTS BISHOP

a Greater Philadelphia Cultural Alliance program) is hosting a day of art, games, parties and music at museums and cultural centers all over the city. It’s open to teens ages 14 to 19, plus WorkReady interns and all STAMP passholders. You’re in for programming at the National Constitution Center, the African American Museum, the National Liberty Museum, the National Museum of American Jewish History, the Philadelphia History Museum and the Independence Visitor Center. It all ends with a dance party

back at the Constitution Center at 5:30 p.m. Register at phillystamppass.org/oldcity. —Mikala Jamison

MÖTLEY CRÜE

$20-$125 // Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., with Alice Cooper, Wells Fargo Center, 3601 S. Broad St., 215-336-3600, wellsfargocenterphilly.com. ROCK/POP As they make their final lap around the country, Mötley Crüe stands as a sad cautionary tale for any air guitar-wielding would-be rock star. No, not the same old drug

continued on p.18

PHILADELPHIA CIT Y PAPER // AUGUST 13 - AUGUST 19, 2015 // CIT YPAPER.NET

EVENTS abuse, battered bodies and sex tapes: The band once synonymous with rock ’n’ roll excess is instead coming to an end in a blaze of contractual obligation, a fact more depressing than any Behind the Music tragedy. —Shaun Brady

SCHOOLING THE WORLD — THE WHITE MAN’S LAST BURDEN

Free with invitation // Fri., Aug. 14, 7 p.m., The Pharmacy, 1300 S. 18th St., 267-5193485, facebook.com/ PURC215. FILM/PANEL DISCUSSION There may have

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been a time in your life, likely during an off year from university, when you were looking to do some meaningful nonprofit work. You found an organization that sent well-intentioned twentysomethings to teach in a third world country. But maybe you were doing more harm than good. The documentary Schooling the World — The White Man’s Last Burden takes a look at the way in which modern, and oftentimes Western, education can be destructive to indigenous cultures. This event, presented by Philadelphia Urban Roots Collective, is invite-only; write to philadelphiaurc@gmail. com to get on the list. —Lissa Alicia

AWKWARD SEX … AND THE CITY

$15 // Fri., Aug. 14, 7:30 p.m., L’Etage, 624 S. Sixth St., awkwardsexandthecity.com. STORYTELLING We’re

sure you’re treated to plenty of tales of awkward sexual experiences for free, but your best friend isn’t a storytelling professional; these women are. This touring show features NYC performers Natalie Wall, Ginny Leise, Meghan O’Malley, Carly Ann Filbin, Jamie LeeLo, Emmy Harrington and SJ Son. It’s been called a “toe-curlingly fun storytelling show” and given the subject

matter, we believe it. —Mikala Jamison

saturday

8.15

Orshoski — who previously delivered 2010’s Lemmy, about the Motorhead frontman — gathers talking heads

IT’S THE HUMIDITY THAT’LL KILL YOU

Free // Sat.-Sun., Aug. 15-16 and 22-23, 2-6 p.m., AUTOMAT, 319 N. 11th St., second floor, facebook.com/AUTOMATcollective. VISUAL ART Oh, ugh, that phrase. Or, rather, “It’s not the heat, it’s the humidity!” We get it, Mom. Stop sending us articles about sweat-wicking undershirt technology. Anyway, this group show, curated by Scott Schultheis and C.J. Stahl, features work by eight artists; AUTOMAT itself is a new curatorial collective, and if you haven’t been to the space, you won’t want to miss this show, the description of which is just so on point right now: “The works on view … pick up on the haptic, visceral and sometimes intangible weight of the late-summer season.” Expect sculptures, drawings and paintings that’ll have you grabbing your sweat-wicking undershirt, after all. —Mikala Jamison

sunday

8.16 THE DAMNED: DON’T YOU WISH THAT WE WERE DEAD

$10 // Sun., Aug. 16, 7 p.m., Underground Arts, 1200 Callowhill St., undergroundarts.org. FILM/Q&A/PUNK

Those who know say The Damned deserve to be counted with the Sex Pistols and the Clash as British proto-punk royalty, but there aren’t many who know. Where the others enjoyed record deals, sales and international infamy, Dave Vanian and co. only got a local sort of infamy. This new documentary by Wes

(like Fred Armisen and Chrissie Hynde) to talk about how great The Damned was, and band members (like Captain Sensible and Rat Scabies) to tell old war stories about shitting in beds. Should be a blast. —Patrick Rapa

wednesday

8.19

SO FAR GONE (DRAKE NIGHT)

$5 // Wed., Aug. 19, 10 p.m., with Dirty South Joe, Gun$ Garcia and Magglezzz, Dolphin Tavern, 1539 S. Broad St., 215-278-7950, dolphinphilly.com.

HIP-HOP/DANCE It is safe to say Meek Mill lost that battle with Drake. I know you’re a proud Philadelphian and all but you really can’t disagree. It’s OK. Drake is hot. Despite the shadow that has been cast over the City of Brotherly Love since “Charged Up” was released, Dirty South Joe, Gun$ Garcia and Magglezzz are still rocking out with this all-Drake party over at the Dolphin. They understand that Drizzy has been the man since Degrassi and that his tracks elicit the most epic of turn ups. Forget about Meek, leave your guilt at home and get down with Champagne Papi. —Lissa Alicia

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FOOD&DRINK

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

REVIEWS // OPENIN GS // LIST IN GS // RECIPES

ALL IN THE FAMILY: Talia, Karen and Jeff Regan all aided in the construction of the South Street beer garden. MARIA S. YOUNG

SOUTH STREET BEER GARDEN // 1438 South St., 215-988-8800, phsonline.org. Mon.-Thu., 5-10 p.m.; Sat., 2 p.m.-midnight; Sun., noon-10 p.m.

SIDE WORK

BY JENN LADD

SECRET GARDEN

The aesthetic for the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society’s South Street beer garden involved months of planning and 24 days of assembly. THE SWARM OF PEOPLE loitering in front of two flung-open barn doors on the 1400 block of South Street on a Friday night signals the presence of one of the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society’s pop-up beer gardens. Filling out a contact card is the price of admission to this swanky PHS garden, where you can sip whiskey sours, sangria or sour beer. Drink prices are on the steep side — a 10-ounce cocktail can run $9 or more — but the atmosphere makes it easy to part with hard-earned paychecks. A bevy of seating areas are arranged on the garden’s wood chip-and-concrete floor: Adirondack chairs clustered around tree-trunk tables, long communal tables flanked by aquamarine-colored chairs, and an armchair with cottoncandy-pink trim and black leather upholstery so weather-beaten it’s practically calcified. Lights line the underside of a trellis’ beams in the center of the garden. A hut constructed from antique manufacturing crates and a wooden frame houses two sofas and a wrought-iron coffee table. Three cabanas with gently sloped plank roofs provide shade during the daytime. Greens just starting to show summer’s age burgeon out of planters placed intermittently

around the garden’s spaces. “I wanted it to not look like,‘Oh, let’s just plop a bunch of tables and chairs here,’ and ‘Oh yeah, it looks like this temporary space,’” says designer Karen Regan. “I wanted it to look developed over time.” Regan, of Tallulah & Bird Interior Design, planned, erected and styled the South Street beer garden for PHS with the help of her husband, Jeff, and his business, Regan Construction Co. Karen first saw the 15,000-squarefoot lot on South Street in January. She composed a computerized 3-D sketch of the empty lot, paying mind to where people would walk, how much room to leave between objects and how a crowd would likely distribute within the space. She wanted the design to offer a mix of public and intimate areas, to give guests more to discover upon each visit. She identified which items — a copper sink from France, a baby carriage from Maine — she wanted to cull from her collection of flea-market buys. (Karen has a deep store to choose from; she’s filled a warehouse in Spring House with materials purchased in her travels.) And then she waited for the garden to get zoning approval, a wait that stretched longer than anticipated. By the time she had access, she had three weeks and three days before the soft opening in late May. Jeff Regan sent construction workers to build the trellis, cabanas and

the hut, or as Karen calls it, “the cottage,” over four days. “When I did the time [cards] for my employees that were here,” Jeff says, “it was a number of 15-, 16-hour days in a row.” The assembly crew also included PHS employees, a Tallulah & Bird intern and the Regans’ daughter, Talia. Karen would routinely stay past midnight and arrive at 6 a.m. In those 24 days, they constructed, planted, decorated and lit the garden. They painted the bar in the back corner black and built a new one for people to gather around in the front. They rigged tree limbs with strings of pink lights. They built new tables from reclaimed barn wood and repaired old benches from a Belgian beer garden. The Regans made the deadline and then reaped the reward of their work. “On the first couple nights we were here, we would quietly hide so that people wouldn’t know that we were here and that we did this,” Karen says. “And it was just so awesome hearing and seeing people’s reactions. Obviously that’s what you want: that something you created is being appreciated.” Karen declines to disclose the budget for the project; in order to achieve her vision for the garden, she loaned items to PHS. She says she’ll sell some articles from it and return some to her storehouse. Some things belong to PHS, too. But come October, everything in the garden has to go. “This plot is sold,” she says. As for the hut — perhaps the most coveted, exclusive piece of lounging real estate in the lot — it’s going to the Regans’ home. “That cottage I am literally going to put in my backyard,” Karen says. Enjoy the view while you can.

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BANKING ON A BISCUIT SCRATCH BISCUITS // 1306 Chestnut St., 267-930-3727, eatscratchbiscuits. com. Mon.-Thu., 8 a.m.-7 p.m.; Fri., 8 a.m.-7 p.m. and midnight-2 a.m.; Sat., 9 a.m.-7 p.m. and midnight-2 a.m.

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AT NOW T I E .NET TAK APER

CITYP

REMEMBER FROZEN YOGURT? I mean, yes, of course you remember frozen yogurt — it’s still around — but I’m talking about the tart twist’s conquest of America not too long ago, a boom that grew with the fervor and flameout of Groupon. Now, 10 years after Pinkberry was founded in L.A., even suburbanites from Podunk are growing weary of the stuff. Froyo’s downfall has proven to be Mitch and Jen Prensky’s boon. The Supper couple snatched up a defunct frozen yogurt shop in a prime location on Chestnut Street and opened Scratch Biscuits, a fast-casual spot specializing in … well, you know. “We have been known at Supper for Southern-influenced cooking, and I always made biscuits for the restaurant,” says Mitch Prensky. “In my mind, the biscuit is the perfect vehicle for delivering all manner of tasty stuff; it works perfectly for breakfast, lunch or dinner.” He started serving biscuit sandwiches at Night Market and, after three years, built enough customer interest and investor capital to go brick and mortar. The space is roomy, with a Fourth of July color scheme, illuminated “HOT BISCUITS!” sign and rear door to Drury Street, where the Prenskys hawk Backyard Biscuits to weekend revelers from midnight to 2 a.m. Scratch’s main attraction is not baked on site — due to licensing restrictions on the kitchen — but in a commissary kitchen twice daily. Transportation didn’t negatively impact the moist, crumbly, dimpled biscuits I tried. Each warmed my fingertips and tasted fresh, with a subtle tang from buttermilk. As Prensky says, “We make the biscuits that a grandma would make if she owned a digital scale.” The menu features biscuit sandwiches styled for breakfast (egg white and heirloom tomatoes, baked eggs and 1732 Meats bacon) and lunch/dinner (Benton’s ham and pimento cheese, pulled pork dressed in Rival Bros. barbecue sauce), plus bite-sized “Biscuit Tots,” pickles and yam fries. The fillings are top-shelf, from the housemade scrapple to the juicy breakfast-sausage patty scented with sage and sweetened with maple syrup. But in the case of the bulkier setups, the biscuit often struggled to contain them; instead of a neat, mobile sandwich, I had a pile of crumbs. Delicious crumbs nonetheless. I most enjoyed the biscuit in its simplest state, with raspberry jam and a smear of whipped butter swirled with molasses. The Prenskys have a great recipe and a good foundation upon which to build their Shake Shack. They just need a literally stronger base for their sandwiches. (aerace.citypaper@gmail.com, @adamerace)

C I T Y PA P E R . N ET // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER

BY MATT JONES

ACROSS

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August: ___ County (Best Picture nominee of 2014) Furry TV alien Secret audience member “So help me” “___ Kommissar’s in town ...” “Voices Carry” singer Mann Struck with amazement Silver metallic cigarette brand? Cut corners 4x4, frequently “To be,” to Brutus Art colony location Hummus and tzatziki, broadly Bathrobe closer Daily ___ (political blog) Airborne stimuli Non-military person good at getting smaller? “___ dreaming?” Win ___ With Tad Hamilton! (2004 romantic comedy) “Black gold” Visnjic of ER ___ Troyens (Berlioz opera) Head of all the bison? E flat’s equivalent Effort Votes in Congress Broccoli ___ (bitter veggie) Austin Powers’ “power” “Believe” singer Feldspar, e.g.

62 ___ pathways 66 Video game plumber’s reason for salicylic acid? 69 On the ball 70 Greek salad ingredient 71 Bro’s sibling, maybe 72 Beauty brand that happens to anagram to another brand in this puzzle 73 Brown-___ 74 Non-polluter’s prefix 75 Move stealthily

DOWN

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

9 10 11 12 13 19 21 25 27 28 29 30 32

Kimono closers Match (up) Petri dish goo “Just ad-lib if you have to” Plant malady Full-screen intrusions, e.g. Cole Porter’s “___ Do It” The Ego and the Id author Bud “This way” “Famous” cookie guy Modernists, slangily TV component? Aquafina competitor Snoop (around) “___ a biscuit!” Newman’s Own competitor Burn, as milk Assistants Drug store? “Wildest Dreams” singer Taylor

34 35 36 38 39 44 47 48 50 54 56 57 58 59 61 63 64 65 67 68

Curie or Antoinette Big name in the kitchen Comes clean Aardvark’s antithesis? Feature with “Dismiss” or “Snooze” “I give up [grumble grumble]” Instruction to a violinist Interpol’s French headquarters Get there Take-out order? Wranglers, e.g. “Don’t be a spoilsport!” Light headwear? Dwarf planet discovered in 2005 Guitarist Clapton Dance party in an abandoned warehouse “Length times width” measurement Hose snag? “___ the land of the free ...” General in Chinese restaurants

Rachel Kramer Bussel is the author of the essay collection Sex & Cupcakes and editor of over 50 erotica anthologies, most recently Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica.

JONESIN ’

LET’S GET IT ON

BY RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL

LAST WEEK’S SOLUTION

Blogger Exhibit A.

WHY DO MEN TAKE DICK PICS? WHEN IT COMES to looking at dick pics, I’ve been pretty lucky. While my career writing about sex has meant I’ve received the occasional unsolicited, unwanted spam photo of a male member, for the most part, the ones I’ve received have been from lovers deliberately showing off — sometimes by request, sometimes of their own accord. And yes, I’ve shared my own nudes in return. There’s an intimacy to the act that appeals to me. But for others, it’s also a way of reclaiming their cocks and showing them off. I wanted to find out the appeal of taking and sharing dick pics, so I asked anonymous 34-year-old male sex blogger Exhibit A, who’s posted his share of them at exhibitunadorned.com, how he got started. “When I was 21, a female friend took naked photos of me with a Polaroid camera,” he told me. “She was particularly fascinated by how hard my dick got in front of the camera, so that became the focus of several of the pictures.” But it wasn’t until he was in a long distance relationship a few years later that he began honing his naked photo craft, since his girlfriend was a fan of them. “I found the idea of her masturbating over them so exciting that I never had trouble satisfying her requests.” For Exhibit A, his natural exhibitionism is part of what makes immortalizing his penis on camera so fun. “The first time I did life modeling, I discovered how much I enjoy having other people’s eyes on my body; dick pics are an extension of that,” he said. But posing his penis has also had a positive effect on his body image. For him, dick pics aren’t just about a sexual turn-on, but a way to appreciate his own sex appeal, just as posing for nude or boudoir photos has helped many women appreciate their looks in a new way. “Like a lot of teenagers, I went through a long period of hating my body, and that resurfaced at various points in my 20s,” he said. “I became uncomfortable in situations where I had to take my clothes off, and I definitely thought my dick was too small for women to find it appealing.” Showing off his member — whether for specific women or the anonymous oglers of his blog — helped him get over that discomfort, especially when he learned, from the enthusiastic reactions, “that there are plenty of women out there who really want to see dick.” That’s not to say you should just randomly start sending your favorites to everyone in your phone — just as you wouldn’t flash your cock in public. “It’s not OK to send photos of your dick to a woman’s cellphone without first checking that she wants to see it,” Exhibit A wants you to know. I can’t emphasize this enough; I’m all for dick pics, but display them appropriately. Guys—thinking of snapping a below-the-waist selfie? Exhibit A has some pointers. “If you’re taking them for a partner, think about what else turns them on. Give the photos some context; maybe include your hand, or a generous part of your torso. Focus on making them warm and erotic, rather than just a closeup of your dick itself,” he advised. You should also treat dick photography as you would any other art: Study the work of others who’ve gone before you. “As guys, we need to get better at appreciating not just our own bodies, but those of other men, without shame or embarrassment,” Exhibit A said. “That’s one department in which women are just way ahead of us.” (rachelcitypaper@gmail.com)

@RAQUELITA

PHIL ADELPHIA CI T Y PAPER // A UGUST 13 - A UGUST 19, 2015 // CI T YPAPER .NET

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