Philadelphia City Paper, September 20th, 2012

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cpstaff We made this

Publisher Nancy Stuski Editor in Chief Theresa Everline Senior Editor Patrick Rapa News Editor Samantha Melamed Web Editor/Movies Editor Josh Middleton Arts Editor/Copy Chief Emily Guendelsberger Food Editor/Listings Editor Caroline Russock Senior Writer Isaiah Thompson Staff Writer Daniel Denvir Assistant Copy Editor Carolyn Wyman Contributors Sam Adams, A.D. Amorosi, Rodney Anonymous, Mary Armstrong, Meg Augustin, Justin Bauer, Shaun Brady, Peter Burwasser, Ryan Carey, Mark Cofta, Jesse Delaney, Alison Dell, Adam Erace, M.J. Fine, David Anthony Fox, Michael Gold, K. Ross Hoffman, Brian Howard, Deni Kasrel, Gary M. Kramer, Drew Lazor, Gair “Dev 79” Marking, Robert McCormick, Andrew Milner, Annette Monnier, Michael Pelusi, Elliott Sharp, Tom Tomorrow, John Vettese, Julia West, Brian Wilensky Editorial Interns Michael Blancato, Carly Szkaradnik, Andrew Wimer Associate Web Editor/Staff Photographer Neal Santos Production Director Michael Polimeno Editorial Art Director Reseca Peskin Senior Designer Evan M. Lopez Editorial Designers Brenna Adams, Matt Egger Contributing Photographers Jessica Kourkounis, Mark Stehle Contributing Illustrators Ryan Casey, Don Haring Jr., Joel Kimmel, Cameron K. Lewis, Thomas Pitilli, Matthew Smith Human Resources Ron Scully (ext. 210) Office Manager/Sales Coordinator/Financial Coordinator Tricia Bradley (ext. 232) Circulation Director Mark Burkert (ext. 239) Senior Account Managers Nick Cavanaugh (ext. 260), Sharon MacWilliams (ext. 262), Stephan Sitzai (ext. 258) Account Managers Sara Carano (ext. 228), Chris Scartelli (ext. 215), Donald Snyder (ext. 213) Business Development Manager Jeremy Axworthy (ext. 237) Marketing/Online Coordinator Jennifer Francano (ext. 252) Office Coordinator/Adult Advertising Sales Alexis Pierce (ext. 234) Founder & Editor Emeritus Bruce Schimmel

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contents The Philebrarian

Naked City ...................................................................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................22 Movies.........................................................................................27 The Agenda ..............................................................................32 Food & Drink ...........................................................................39 COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY NEAL SANTOS DESIGN BY NEAL SANTOS


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naked

the thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[ -1 ]

A Warrington man pleads guilty to building three pipe bombs that he said he used for hunting bears.And this solves the Mystery of the Bears That Fucking Exploded.

[ +3 ]

Ori Feibush, a business owner in Point Breeze, spends $20,000 to remove 40 tons of debris from a vacant lot owned by the city. “My babies! They’re all gone,” sobs Karen, a stinking, rotting trash monster. “Will no one stand up to this trespassing bastard?”

[ -4 ]

The Philadelphia Redevelopment Authority threatens legal action against Feibush. “Bless you, soul less bureaucrats,” says Karen, who exhales flies as she talks. “Why don’t you bring all that paperwork over here and make a baby with me?”

[ +1 ]

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city

[ 2] +

[ +2 ]

The Mayor’s office launches the Philly311 app which people can use to file complaints and to get alerts when the issue is solved. Or never, whichever comes first. The Philly311 app competes with Councilman Bobby Henon’s similar CityHall app released in April. Henon’s is at a distinct disadvantage in that all requests are being filtered by Jake “the Snake” Roberts. As the number of bicyclists has increased in Philadelphia, the number of bike crashes and deaths has decreased. Imagine how safe we’d all be with no cars. </bykofsky troll bait> PBS personality Tavis Smiley and Princeton professor Cornel West’s “Poverty Tour” makes a stop at a North Philadelphia Baptist church. They were delighted by the poor turnout.

[ -1 ]

A car knocks a trolley off its tracks in Northern Liberties. And becomes a hero to all cars.

[ +2 ]

Yuengling takes the title of largest American-owned brewery from Boston Beer Co., maker of Sam Adams. Bostonians kidnap a panda they believe to be Mr. Yuengling and release a video of their demands, which is still being translated. Everyone in Boston is dumb.

This week’s total: +4 | Last week’s total: -9

HERE TO REPRESENT: State Rep. John Taylor goes door to door in Port Richmond, part of his 177th Legislative District. NEAL SANTOS

[ party people ]

ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM Rep. John Taylor, Philadelphia’s last Republican in Harrisburg, survives by keeping it old school. By Daniel Denvir

J

ohn Taylor is Philly’s last Republican representative in Harrisburg. What’s amazing is that many in his district — largely Democratic, working-class neighborhoods — seem content to keep him there. The reason for that is simple, he insists: He’s a bridge-builder, a problem-solver. “If you’ve got a problem in Yugoslavia, and I mean this literally, we would sit down with you and try to figure it out,” he tells me in his Bridesburg office, one of three scattered around his 177th District. “Call Yugoslavia.” Taylor, like the former Yugoslavia, is from the old school. Ostensibly, state legislators may be dedicated to drafting, debating and passing laws in Harrisburg. But they often stand in as neighborhood mini-mayors, one-stop shops that help constituents pay taxes, fix potholes and even land jobs. This November, the 57-year-old Kensington native and Northwood resident is running for re-election to the office he first won in 1984, representing a district that covers parts of Port Richmond, Juniata Park, Bridesburg, Kensington and Frankford. His challenger is William Dunbar, 28, a former aide to Congressman Chaka Fattah and state Rep. Tony Payton. Dunbar is an African American running in what has traditionally been a bastion of the white working class. But the district is changing.

On a warm September evening, Taylor led a team of Republican committeepeople and volunteers across Juniata Park, an extraordinarily diverse neighborhood of neatly kept rowhomes. Among African-American constituents, Taylor seemed popular. Take assistant diner manager Corliss Phillips, 56, who moved her family here from Southwest Philly, worried her daughter would be shot on her way home from school. “Of course, Obama,” laughed Phillips, when asked who she’ll vote for in the presidential election. But she credits Taylor for keeping up the neighborhood. “As long he cares, as long as he keeps doing what he’s doing, I’ll vote for him. No matter [that] I’m a Democrat, even though he’s a Republican.” One woman complained about not receiving enough help from Taylor. But she said she liked him: A gas grill she won from his office was sitting on her patio. A crossing guard, Earline Stephens, 54, credited him for providing brunch for the workers every year. “I’m only voting for one Republican, and that’s John Taylor,” said Stephens. “I’ve run into him in Wawa. He’s getting his coffee and he’ll say, ‘Oh, how you doin’?’” Among constituents of other races, it’s much the same. Taylor received hugs from a few middle-aged white women and praise from Israel Varela, 70, a Puerto Rican man about to lead a prayer circle in his living room. Taylor helped Varela secure a disabled license plate. Taylor argues that lack of familiarity, and not race, is his greatest challenge. “It’s not about a vote in Harrisburg as much as it is, ‘My kid doesn’t have the proper transportation to go to school,’ or ‘The street-

“As long as he cares, I’ll vote for him.”

>>> continued on page 8


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[ a million stories ]

✚ NICE THINGS On a recent evening in Nicetown, plastic bags and scraps of paper blew across Germantown Avenue like tumbleweeds. Inside the New Inspirational Baptist Church, state Rep. Rosita Youngblood and state Sen. Shirley Kitchen tried (and, it must be admitted, largely failed) to keep on track a meeting about the future of Nicetown and development there. They had been getting phone calls: Some residents of this poor community saw nice things going in around them, things beyond their reach — and worried they were being left behind. Take, for example, a salon and spa that the Nicetown Community Development Corp. (slogan: “Putting the Nice back in ‘The Town’”) helped to open. “A Muslim salon,” a committeewoman said with distaste, griping that the massages cost $85. “I can’t afford that.” The CDC’s Majeedah Rashid suggested that the woman not purchase a massage, then: “That salon and spa was put in Nicetown to prove that we can have those kinds of things as well.” However, a larger problem was that some residents were angry at being shut out of the CDC’s recent development, Nicetown Court I, a sleek, four-story building with ground-floor commercial space and 37 mixed-income apartments that looms over the avenue like a curving ship’s prow. “Does Nicetown give back to Nicetown?” asked Beverly Stewart, who said she’d applied for a place in the Court but apparently had been removed from the prospective-renter list with no notice or explanation.“What I need to know is: How many of these residents who live in this neighborhood are going to be in those homes?” It didn’t raise her spirits that the CDC, with partner Universal Companies, this Monday

broke ground on Nicetown Court II, an even larger 50-unit project. Together, the two developments go a long way to changing the face of Germantown Avenue just south of the Wayne Junction train station. Rashid told the group that more than a third of Court I residents came from the neighborhood, but that nearly 700 people had applied for the 37 units.“We had people signing up at the groundbreaking. Unfortunately, three-quarters of them were on [Temporary Assistance for Needy Families]. You can’t live in a residence where you have to pay rent and utilities on $205 per week.” Things got heated, and some residents told Rashid they didn’t want to live in her shiny new developments anyway. “Fine,” she responded. “We have hundreds behind you.” —Samantha Melamed

✚ PHOTO OPPORTUNITY As state officials scramble to accommodate the rush of citizens seeking the photo IDs they may or may not need in order to vote come November (see “Man Overboard!,” at right), Philly Democrat and state Rep. John Sabatina wants to offer his own solution: Let state legislators distribute the photo IDs at their district offices. His offices, he points out, are more convenient than the PennDOT centers downtown. But on its face it seems problematic, to take an apolitical task like the distribution of voter IDs and put it into the hands of politically elected officials — especially if the goal of the law is to clean up elections. However, the reality may be simple: Strict laws beget strange workarounds. Says Philly City Commissioner Stephanie Singer, “That quirk is forced on us by the law, which is really draconian.” Singer’s office, >>> continued on page 10

PETE PIN

KHMER TO STAY ³ FOR CAMBODIAN AMERICANS of a certain age — the ones born in refugee camps or in the ’70s under genocidal Khmer Rouge rule — trauma is an unfortunate shared legacy. Pete Pin thinks his photography can help the healing process. The New York-based photographer spent five months last year documenting the Cambodian diaspora in the Bronx with support from the Magnum Foundation; now, he’s coming to Philly for what he hopes will be a collaborative effort with Philly’s Cambodian community. His last visit to the city — where he connected with local groups like the anti-deportation activist One Love Movement — left a big impression. “There’s this guy that I met there during Cambodian New Year last year, and he had this tattoo on his fists that said, ‘Killing Fields.’ And on one fist was an image of what looked like the spires from Angkor Wat, and on the other was the skyline of [Philadelphia]. It just spoke of how that legacy was passed on generationally, that trauma. That was something that was very moving for me.” Pin, who was himself born in a refugee camp, hopes Cambodians will contribute their own photos and documents to the project, and open up to a discussion of their experiences. “My goal is not only to photograph these issues, but also to have some sort of engagement.” Pin plans to conclude his work here with a series of photo-based installations — not in Center City or in a museum somewhere, but in places like Olney or South Philly, neighborhoods that Philadelphia’s Cambodian-Americans now call home. —S.M.

By Isaiah Thompson

VOTING WRONGS ³ ON TUESDAY AFTERNOON, the Pennsyl-

vania Supreme Court released a decision on the controversial law requiring Pennsylvanians to carry photo identification to polling places. You might have expected it to include at least some nominal platitudes on both sides of the issue — about what the Founding Fathers intended with the Constitution, or the sacredness of the vote, or states’ rights, or individual rights, or the role and purpose of government itself. But if you were expecting any lofty speeches, you were disappointed. Instead, the majority decision, which ordered the case back to a lower court for further review,centered on what has increasingly become a focus of this case: The laundry list of bureaucratic mishaps and general government ineptitude that characterized Pennsylvania’s efforts to let its own citizens comply with the new law. There were the revelations that the Department of State drastically underestimated the number of people who might not have ID before the law was passed; there were the attempts to weaken ID requirements, and then the subsequent attempt to create, when that failed, a whole new form of ID. These amounted to a “disconnect,” the Supreme Court found, “in what the Law prescribes and how it is being implemented.” Translation: Requiring photo ID might be legal, but the state’s effort to implement it just months before a major election has been so rushed and insufficient that the court might block the law for now, anyway. Justices Seamus McCaffery and Debra McCloskey Todd went a step further in dissenting opinions, McCaffery calling the state’s efforts to implement the law “last ditch,” and noting that, while he doesn’t object to ID requirements per se, “it is clear to me that the urgency for implementing [voter ID] ... is purely political.” The dissenting judges thought a temporary injunction against the law should have been granted on the spot; the majority decision, however, is asking the Commonwealth to first prove that “no voters will be disenfranchised” — a high bar indeed, and one that may tilt the odds in favor of voter-ID opponents. Meanwhile, there’s a deep irony in the court’s seeming acceptance of ID in the abstract while potentially rejecting it as a requirement this November: After years of arguing about voter ID as a matter of principle (there being little to no evidence of voter fraud), proponents of the requirement now face possible defeat — precisely for not having enough principle to slow down and get it right. ✚ Send dissenting opinions to isaiah.thompson@

citypaper.net.

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[ has hundreds behind you ]

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✚ Elephant In the Room

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light’s out,’ or ‘I have drug dealers in my yard.’” Taylor’s district is only 25 percent Republican; campaign volunteers openly encourage residents to split their tickets. “You gonna be a Republican? No. You gonna vote for Mitt Romney? Probably not,” says Taylor, a master of political realism. “We’d like you to vote Republican. But, hey, you don’t have to.” The Pennsylvania Republican Party is dominated by suburban and rural politicians renowned for spurning Philadelphia. Some say Taylor is a key emissary to a GOP-dominated state government. “I’m a Democrat who thinks it’s very important that the Republican caucuses in Harrisburg have members from Philadelphia,” says political consultant Larry Ceisler. “When it comes to these difficult issues in Philly,” says Taylor, “there’s not one other member in the majority party in the Senate or in the majority party in the House or in the governor’s office who could care less.” City Hall sources praise Taylor’s efforts on behalf of the city. Mayor Nutter’s legislative affairs director, Lewis Rosman, says Taylor has been “helpful to us in our agenda.” Taylor is not so much a Republican, says City Council President Darrell Clarke, as just “a legislator who represents a particular part of Philadelphia.” Both point to legislation passed this summer that protects the city from expensive property-tax-assessment appeals. Despite that goodwill, the Republican Party in Philly is at an undeniable low point today. Just four years ago, four Republicans represented Philly (not counting Rep. Thomas Murt, whose district includes a small sliver of the city). In 2008, after Rep. George Kenney retired, Democrat Brendan Boyle won his seat. In 2010, his brother Kevin Boyle defeated John Perzel, hobbled by corruption charges. In a special election this year, Democrat Ed Neilson won the seat vacated by Republican Denny O’Brien, now on City Council. “The challenge that William [Dunbar] has is the real personal appeal of John Taylor,” says Kevin Boyle, who is backing Dunbar. “You have a lot of Democrats, especially in Port Richmond and Bridesburg, that are willing to cross party lines for state representative.” That’s especially true when the powerful trade unions support a candidate, as they do Taylor. “There’s probably not, philosophically, a whole lot of difference between a Northeast Philadelphia Democrat and a Northeast Philadelphia Republican,” says Taylor. Dunbar disagrees: Taylor voted for Gov. Corbett’s 2012 budget, which eliminated General Assistance cash welfare for the disabled, victims of domestic violence and recovering addicts, and slashed funding for social-service programs. He also supported the controversial voter-ID law and co-sponsored legislation that would require women to undergo an ultrasound before an abortion. Constituents, says Dunbar, “could tell me how they hated the Republicans and Corbett, but they didn’t know that John Taylor was a Republican.” Taylor, who did oppose the General Assistance cut in a separate vote, says the budget was imperfect.

“You can only vote ‘yes’ or ‘no’ on the entire budget. You really don’t get to vote for pieces.” Critics also point to Taylor’s reputation for awarding patronage jobs, such as at the Philadelphia Parking Authority (PPA), which was delivered to local Republicans in a 2001 state takeover orchestrated by Perzel. Vincent Fenerty Jr., a ward leader in the district, is the PPA’s executive director. Taylor campaign treasurer Carl Ciglar is executive deputy director. Taylor says all of this is aboveboard. “It’s lovely to be able to pick up the phone and help somebody,” says Taylor. “So the people at the Parking Authority … were just people that said [to me], ‘I lost my job, I need a job, can you help?’” But it’s a headache when people are “going to not come to work or steal shit, and then [they think],

“Democrats will cross party lines.” ‘John Taylor’s going to get you out of it.’ I have relatives who got fired from the Parking Authority.” The patronage and party decline have sparked a revolt among Republicans who want a more aggressive Philadelphia Republican Party. In 2011, Taylor backed Republican City Commissioner Joseph Duda against reformer Al Schmidt, because “Schmidt was really like the symbol of the other side.” But Taylor says the reformers are right that the party is “way too inactive.” He’s for “the workers, not for the talkers … the sort of wine-and-cheese set.” And he concedes that Karen Brown, the party’s widely mocked 2011 mayoral nominee and a former Democrat, was an unwise choice. Brown and Taylor show, in different ways, that Philadelphia politics can be a lesson in improbability. But Taylor’s bucked the odds for the better part of three decades now. And he has reason to think he can do it again. (daniel.denvir@citypaper.net)


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though it administers elections in the city, is not allowed to issue state-approved photo-ID cards; she says representatives’ and senators’ offices could be the next best thing. “This is a way around it.The law says that state-issued IDs are OK. The question is: If IDs issued by the state are OK, then [can the law be interpreted that] IDs issued by state representatives’ offices are also OK?” —S.M.

✚ TRUCK CLEARANCE When CP called Andrew Gerson, co-founder of the Philadelphia Mobile Food Association (PMFA) and owner of Strada Pasta, he was in Brooklyn, helping a friend open a restaurant. He wasn’t manning

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his fresh-pasta truck because, well, he

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doesn’t have one yet. What with the regulations currently governing food trucks here, he says it wouldn’t make sense. “I’m waiting another six to eight months to see what happens with this legislative change. It’s very hard to make a living due to legislative drawbacks right now.” He may not have to wait long. Councilman Mark Squilla says the city Law Department is reviewing legislation he worked on in collaboration with the PMFA and various city departments to clarify the rules around truck vending. He hopes to introduce a bill next month. “We’re trying to work with the food-truck association to come up with regulations and ordinances that the food-truck vendors and the city all can agree on,” he says. “I think it will be a big boost to the industry.” Gerson says vendors are looking for several types of relief: First, to allow vending on private lots. Second, to allow vending of takeout food after midnight, which is currently illegal.And third, to roll back the list of streets where food trucks are prohibited — currently, most of Center City — through a slowly expanding pilot program. The PMFA is also forming a task force with the departments of Health and Licenses & Inspections to review and hopefully update regulations. The vendors have been advocating for the changes since January, but it’s taken time to get the ball rolling:“We’ve had a lot of support, but no one’s ever tried to change these things before.” The legislation, it turns out, is kind of like Gerson’s homemade pasta:“We’re starting from scratch.” —S.M.

Pleas. But whether they win or lose, the question remains: Is a Front Street commercial corridor in Kensington even viable, or is it just nostalgic to think so?

“This is a burgeoning business community,” says Jordan Rushie, a Fishtown resident and lawyer who filed the appeal on behalf of neighbors Karen Lewis and Carmen Bolden. At least one local civic group is filing a brief in support. “The community view was: If low-income housing goes right there, it’s going to hinder that development.” He notes Front Street is zoned commercial. But zoning in much of Philly is way outdated, which is why the process of remapping the entire city is well under way. City planner David Fecteau says it’s not clear yet whether Front Street will keep its zoning after being remapped. No market study has been done, but the overabundance of empty retail spaces may

“It’s hard to make a living now.” speak volumes. “I don’t have a sense of whether we have too little retail there to serve the population now,” he says. “We can throw out all … the zoning we want to, but in the end if no one is willing to open stores or other types of retail or commercial development, then it’s not going to happen.” Still, one East Kensington resident insists, Front and Norris is a crucial location. “Banks just weren’t built everywhere — they were built at important inter-

✚ ZONE DEFENSE At a May meeting, residents of Kensington and Fishtown had a number of complaints about the plan by the nonprofit Women’s Community Revitalization Project to tear down a historic bank at Front and Norris streets and put up 25 units of low-income housing. It was too dense, they said. There were traffic concerns. And, most of all, there was no ground-floor commercial space on this vulnerable business corridor. Philly’s Zoning Board of Adjustment approved the project anyway. Now, neighbors are fighting back with an appeal at the Philly Court of Common

sections vital to civic life. It

is a huge mistake to replace this with housing. We need to revitalize Front Street with active firstfloor uses, not closed doors and closed curtains.” Of course, the zoning board need only justify that WCRP faced a real zoning hardship requiring a variance for the site. As to what their building would mean for the commercial corridor — that, as they say, is outside the court’s jurisdiction. —S.M.


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here’s so much stuff that happens in Philly that’s stupid,” says Joey Sweeney. This might as well be the subtitle of his blog, Philebrity. “But every memory I have of attending any 215 Festival, ever, is a fantastic one.” If you’ve been living in Philly for more than a few years, you may remember the 215 Festival. Since its inception in 2001 (called the McSweeney’s Festival in its first year), it has brought Dave Eggers, George Saunders, Zadie Smith, Jonathan Lethem, Amy Sedaris, Jeffrey Eugenides, Sarah Vowell — short of David Foster Wallace, you name a writer who was up and coming a decade or so ago, and he or she was probably there. And it wasn’t just readings: The 215 was founded on the principle of mixing literature, other types of art and beer, an attempt to create an alternative to the standard watch-a-famous-person-read lit event. But in recent years, the big names have faded, and the festival has gone through organizers like a volcano goes through sacrificial virgins. Putting on a major event with close to no budget and an entirely volunteer staff is exhausting, and few people sign up to do it twice. The last festival, a fairly smallscale one, was in 2009; since an abortive attempt in 2010, there’s been radio silence. That is, until Sweeney announced via Philebrity a couple months ago that he was taking up the cross: The 215 Festival would return in its full, four-day glory Nov. 1 to 4. Few details were announced at the time, which invited some skepticism. But as of this week, Sweeney’s confirmed lineup is pretty impressive for something one guy started

working on a month ago. Festival stalwart Jon Hodgman is no surprise, as he’s practically a mascot. But Sweeney’s also signed up Jon Ronson (of The Men Who Stare at Goats), Starlee Kine, John Wesley Harding and some of the n+1 crew — and this, he says, is only the early confirmations. Sweeney and Philebrity have been involved with the festival for years. “At some point in the late summer I’d email and be, like, ‘What can we do this year?’ And they’d say, ‘We don’t know yet!’ Then finally it didn’t happen for a while, and we were, like, ‘Can we just … do this for you?’”

× “A DAMN SIGHT LOT MORE FUN.” Writer Neal Pollack, who in the early 2000s lived in Fairmount, was the idea man and public face of the first festival, put on in July 2001 at the Free Library. Afterward, he described his reasons for wanting to do it in an online piece he wrote for McSweeney’s, the most visible example of the literary scene he was a part of: “The most important is that I thought it would be fun. The second most important is that nearly all events in America involving writers are irretrievably lame. They are either bland and corporate or fusty and boring. … If they are lucky, writers are placed on a pedestal at the lowest end of the celebrity food chain, adored by autograph seekers who wait in line for an hour, and then the writers disappear, escorted by a $600-a-day paid professional. … This divide between writers and their readers is inexcusable, particularly since it does not seem to be what most readers, and many writers, want. Too many obstacles have been placed, and I thought it was high time to remove


the naked city feature

nizer of the 215 from the beginning through 2004. “I remember smirking behind Eugenides’ back while he was hitting on a 21-year-old.” She woke up the next morning terribly hung over, but wishing she could do it again. So when Pollack convened a big group at the Rosenbach to plan a second one, she was game. McSweeney’s didn’t want to officially sponsor this one, but the library was on board, so the name was changed to the 215 Festival. It all sounded a little crazy and like a lot of work, but, Richardson Graham says, it sounded worth it. “Those two nights were some of the most fun I’d ever had in my life. So if I could replicate that and be in the middle of it? I was totally going to do that. Some of us really put a lot of our lives into it for a couple years.” But in 2005, Richardson Graham had a baby, her second, and had to stop devoting so much of her life to the festival: “And so did, like, half of the board. It really screwed things up.”

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McSweeney’s founder Dave Eggers talks with Amy Salit after his reading at the Free Library in the first year of the 215 Festival.

× “REAL LIFE IS NOT FUGAZI.” Since then, the keys to the 215 Festival have changed hands nearly every year. When you ask anyone who’s had those keys about the budget, he or she invariably uses the word “shoestring” in the answer. Other words that consistently come up: “DIY,” “friends,” “ragtag,” “amazing,” “exhausting,” “rewarding” and “I just couldn’t do it anymore.” “In grand Philebrity fashion, we’re not going to make a red dime off of it,” says Sweeney. He has experience planning events and dealing with sponsors from Philebrity, but is stuck with the same nearly nonexistent budget that everyone else dealt with. But you can only do something for thrills rather than money until the novelty fades — a concept Sweeney already has distilled into the longtime Philebrity catchphrase “Real life is not like Fugazi.” That’s the root of how such a big-deal festival faded away — a business plan based on the idea that each year, somebody will step up to work crazy hours for no pay. “Mary was, like, ‘Hey, do you want to do this fun thing that’ll take all your time and you won’t get any money?’ And I said, ‘Yeah! Absolutely!’” says Jamie Bowers, who at the time was 26 and working at Richardson Graham’s husband’s bookstore, of how she ended up planning the festival in 2006 and 2007. “If there was even one person working on it in even a part-time capacity, it would have made a big difference in burnout,” says Laris Kreslins, a major organizer in 2008. He tried to simplify things by holding everything in a central location (a move Sweeney’s adopted, centering the upcoming festival in the Eraserhood — the Spring Garden neighborhood that inspired David Lynch’s Eraserhead), but > continued on page 14

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“IT WOULD BE THE BIGGEST, BEST, MOST KICK-ASS FESTIVAL EVER.”

them. The third most important reason is that I love power.” Pollack says now that he had been touring Europe with a crew of McSweeney’s writers, and he’d been surprised at the way they did things over there. “At these festivals, there were writers who would give readings, and then there were rock bands who’d give performances. It was a damn sight lot more fun than what writers got to do in the States: You show up at a bookstore, you give your reading in front of three to 30 people, you sign books and you go home.” He thought Philly, with its DIY-friendly venues and bus-trip proximity to New York, would be perfect to try out a similar festival. “I knew I couldn’t pull this off on my own,” says Pollack, “so I basically roped a bunch of people into helping me.” “[Neal] came to me and he said, ‘We should start a festival. It would be the biggest, best, most kick-ass festival ever,’” says Andy Kahan, director of author events at the Free Library then and now.“And I said, ‘Sure!’” The readings were at the library, and Pollack managed to talk many people he knew, like Dave Eggers, Zadie Smith, Sarah Vowell and Jeffrey Eugenides, into doing it pro bono, or for the price of a bus ticket from Brooklyn. But what everybody remembers about the first festival is the big after-party, when the about-to-get-really-famous writers went to the North Star Bar to watch bands and drink with readers. The spirit of the night, with barriers between authors and readers briefly removed, would be the underlying foundation of the 215 Festival. “I just cannot put into words how exhilarating it was to be talking to Eugenides and Eggers at the same time — or seeing, like, four people of various genders trying to hook up with Zadie Smith,” says Mary Richardson Graham, a central orga-


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Everyone seems to look back on the 215 Festival with genuine love, and express delight that someone else is reviving it, but the key words are “someone else.� Sara Goddard, involved with the very first festival, sums up pretty much everyone’s reasons well: “Getting married, having a baby, having my job become more significant — all that growing-up stuff happened, and I couldn’t stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning entertaining people anymore. Especially not for free.�

Ă— “HE ALSO PROMISED TO CLEAN MY LEATHER PANTS.â€? 215 Festival founder Neal Pollack performs with The Neal Pollack Invasion at the Tritone as part of the third 215 Festival in 2003. > continued from page 13

that meant the beginning of the end of the alliance with the Free Library, and with it went the ability to pull bigname authors. “Nobody had the time or energy to step up and say, ‘This is how we need to do it in the future. This is the amount of money we need to keep this going.’� Noelle Egan was an organizer of the last festival in 2009, having been recruited at the 2008 festival. “They didn’t have the time to keep it up anymore and felt like it was dying out — we just signed on then.� Egan had connections with venues through a karaoke night she ran, “but what we didn’t have on our side was, uh, knowing any actual authors.� She tried to hold a one-day event in 2010, but it never got off the ground.

Sweeney says he’s trying to avoid the burnout by accepting all the help he can get, but he’s been working like crazy on the festival — he’s barely written anything on Philebrity the past few weeks. And there are results: A rough schedule of recognizable names that feels more like the early years of the festival than recent ones. The second time we meet, he has entertaining news: “We’ve got Buzz.� When asked to describe his relationship with Buzz Bissinger — who won a Pulitzer at the Inquirer in 1987 and is best known for his genuinely great book Friday Night Lights — Sweeney pauses. “It’s a lot like a lot of the other relationships I have with other professional writers.� He laughs, seeming a bit embarrassed. If you’re not from the tiny world of Philly journalism, what he means is that though he’s noticeably chilled out lately, Sweeney has used Philebrity to talk a whole lot of shit. Whether the criticism was warranted or not, it hasn’t exact-

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RESEARCHVOLUNTEERSNEEDED

ly endeared him to a lot of people — including Bissinger. Sweeney calls Bissinger’s A Prayer for the City one of the greatest books ever written about Philadelphia. But that didn’t stop him from repeatedly mocking the writer’s post-fame persona, inability to resist online slapfights and proclivity for leather pants. Past Philebrity headlines: “Attn. Buzz Bissinger: If All You Wanted Was A Quick Book Plug, You Didn’t Have To Troll Us On A Sunday, Because That Is Sad,� and “All The Twitter Followers In The World Can’t Keep An Earpiece On Buzz Bissinger’s Orc-Like Visage.� For his part, Buzz referred to Sweeney as “that no-talent motherfucker.� And now they’re buddies? God, that’s almost disappointing.

“I ADMIRED HIS BALLS, EVEN THOUGH HE WAS TOO CHICKENSHIT TO ASK ME DIRECTLY.� “Philebrity’s growing up a little bit,� says Sweeney about why he wanted to take on the responsibility of the 215, but it also applies to the site’s tone. In the past couple years, the bridge-napalming (but frequently very funny) takedowns have tapered off. To that, Sweeney counters, “Nicole > continued on page 16

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> continued from page 14

Cashman, real-estate bloggers in general, Occupy Philly and more would probably disagree. On the other hand … a few years ago, I think I realized that if you’re railing against everything all of the time, that railing quickly loses power, and you wind up becoming a Johnny One-Note. Also, it is bad for your soul.” When emailed for comment, Bissinger replied, “I admired his balls in approaching me even though he was too chickenshit to do it directly. … He also promised to clean my leather pants.”

× “AND THEN EVERYONE WENT ON WITH THEIR LIVES.”

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“The first couple of years, it was just so … fun. There was so much friendship and love — I hate to be mushy about it,” says Neal Pollack. “The 215 was sort of a snapshot of a certain kind of literary culture at the time, this generation of young authors coming up that hadn’t established a huge body of work yet,” he explains. “In some ways, I feel like book culture has elasticized back to not being all that much fun. There was this brief moment of youthful vigor, and then everyone went on with their lives.” “There was just this zeitgeist in the early 2000s,” says Richardson Graham. “At the time, I didn’t realize it was a thing that would, you know, end. But it did.” She pauses, and gestures to her 14-year-old daughter Madeleine, who’s been drawn into the room by her mom’s

stories of the good old days of literary debauchery, listening with an expression of 90 percent fascination and 10 percent horror. “However!” adds Richardson Graham. “I think that all the stuff going on in YA [young adult] lit right now is very much like it used to be. There’s this community of people who are talking to each other on the Twitter.” Mother and daughter laugh over the deliberate old-person-ese. Madeleine recently went to a YA-lit convention in Chicago, and Richardson Graham is eager to describe it: “There were thousands of kids there —” (“Five thousand, and not just kids,” interjects Madeleine) “— and it was much fancier than anything we ever did. It had passes, and it cost $140 —” (“It was $200!”) “— and it was huge! And the YA authors were hanging out together in the same way that the authors used to hang out in the early 2000s who were inspired by McSweeney’s. It seemed very similar.” Madeleine has clearly inherited her mother’s obsession with books and authors — she even has aspirations to put on a YA-lit festival in Philly, which seems ambitious for someone who just started high school a week ago. “But writers talk to her! They respond to her tweets! She’s met them! Like — I could email Dave Eggers in 2001. I can’t email Dave Eggers anymore.” Richardson Graham says though she loved the festival, after the moment passed, she started feeling out of touch. “It got to the point where I was, like, ‘OK, it’s another 215, guess I’ll call up John Hodgman or some people from This

American Life.’ I didn’t know what the new thing was. And that’s when it ended for me.” “That McSweeney’s moment was never really moored to Philly,” says Sweeney. “I still find what they do inspiring, but to my thinking, the 215, and especially my motivations for getting involved, are not about rehashing that moment. I think if anything, the lasting inspiration of all that stuff was Create Your Own Moment.”

“AT THE TIME, I DIDN’T REALIZE THAT THIS WAS A THING THAT WOULD END. BUT IT DID.” Coincidentally, after a follow-up interview with Sweeney, we run into Mary Richardson Graham and her family having dinner and stop to say hi. She seems delighted to hear about what he has planned, but quickly drags a shy Madeleine out from behind the table to pitch her idea about a YA event as part of the festival. Soon enough, two generations of book lovers are discussing possibly collaborating — maybe on Saturday? Madeleine, just as hooked by her love of books as her mom was a decade ago, says she’ll be in touch about helping out. (emilyg@citypaper.net)


PHOTO BY NEAL SANTOS

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

³ LOCAL CABLE ACCESS sensation/bare-

assed calendar boy Butch Cordora (of In Bed with Butch) never wants for something fascinating to do with his time. His most recent full-time gig is as curator of the long-blockaded Ven and Vaida Gallery on S. Third. (Can’t the city get that street fixed after two years?) And here comes word that Cordora is going back to bed, this time as a living model in the windows of BoConcept’s Chestnut Street shop. “I’m still trying to figure out what this even falls under — pop culture, home décor or performance art,” says Cordora. “All the drunk kids exiting Drinker’s and Devil’s Alley will knock on the glass.” Cordora gets paid SAG stage scale for his time in the window (24/7, Sept. 29-Oct. 4, ending with a party in BoConcept at 6 p.m.). Bundy’s at 18th and Chestnut is loaning a laptop so the entire six days will be live streamed. “Plus I’m getting offers from gyms, yoga and pilates studios to come train me in the window, and Serafina is feeding me all three meals a day.” Swell. ³ NYC art world goddess Amy Sadao — the exec director of Visual AIDS since 2002 — just migrated south to Philly’s Institute of Contemporary Art to become the Daniel Dietrich II director of the ICA. Give the lady a big hand, especially since her first big exhibition is this week’s Jeremy Deller: Joy in People,from the photography/performance giant of the same name. ³ Two weeks ago my friends and I hit Old City’s smashing Fork (306 Market St.), whereupon owner Ellen Yin thanked me for mentioning her bistro’s newest chef Eli Kulp (late of NYC’s Torrisi Italian Specialties) in a recent Icepack but told me his debut menu wasn’t ready for September. We delighted in the old menu and got some deets. Not only would the Kulp-era commence Oct. 1 with his new menu, the place is also getting de-and-reconstructed with its white lined tablecloths trashed and murals on its largest bare expanses added courtesy Philly’s Anthony DeMelas. ³ If we can eat for arts and enterprise (FEASTIVAL) we can certainly gamble for them. To kick off (with spurs) American Vaudeville Festival’s first production, Assassination of Jesse James, EgoPo hosts a Texas hold’em poker tournament Sept. 23. Quig’s Pub and the entire third floor of Plays & Players gets converted into a Pecos Pete-like casino. Don’t bet the actors — they ain’t got moolah. ³You find big loot when 76ers coach Aaron McKie,DA Seth Williams and Fox 29 Good Day main man Mike Jerrick bet-bet-bet at Zarwin Baum’s Celebrity Casino Night (Sept. 27, 1818 Market St.) to benefit Easter Seals of Southeastern Pennsylvania. Texas hold-’em is part of it, but so is roulette and craps (sepa.easterseals.com). ³ Double down on Icepack at citypaper.net/icepack. (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

LOCAL OFFERINGS: Philly’s Bradley Cooper in David O. Russell’s locally shot Silver Linings Playbook, which scored the festival’s audience award and is an obvious frontrunner for the upcoming Philadelphia Film Festival’s opening night.

[ film ]

OH, CANADA The Toronto Film Festival forecasts a so-so film season. By Sam Adams

R

eaching for the sky, and in some cases beyond, the films at this year’s Toronto Film Festival often fell short, but only because they set themselves the loftiest of goals. Anchored by Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master (reviewed on the following page), the festival’s massive slate showed off some of the year’s most eagerly awaited releases — and, inevitably, some of its bigger disappointments. Only at Toronto could the sprawling Cloud Atlas and the intimate To the Wonder rest alongside each other in viewers’ consciousness, but reactions to the films followed parallel paths, with some swept away by their cosmic scope and many deriding their soft-headed excesses. Co-directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski and Tom Tykwer, Cloud Atlas remodels David Mitchell’s narrative pyramid as a timehopping crazy quilt, remixing the novel’s six-fold story in ways both arbitrary and inspired. Casting such historically inflexible actors as Halle Berry and Hugh Grant across temporal and sometimes racial lines, the movie flirts with disaster, but if you can suppress a giggle or a groan long enough to take in the performance, Grant’s turns as a tribal chieftain and the manager of a futuristic Korean fast-food joint pass muster, and Tom Hanks turns out to make a surprisingly effective Cockney gangster. None of the movie’s directors find an equivalent for Mitchell’s languid prose, but their bold reimagining is fault-

less in its ambition, and often thrilling in its execution. It’s a movie of big ideas, and only a few of them are terrible. Terrence Malick’s To the Wonder turned out to be one of the festival’s more contentious entries. A loosely structured tone poem about the search for romantic and spiritual love, the film distills Malick’s style to the point of self-parody. The on-again off-again love affair between Ben Affleck and Olga Kurylenko plays out with a minimum of onscreen dialogue telling its vaguely outlined story with airy voice-over and loose choreography. Kurylenko, who like her character is trained as a dancer, goes endlessly spinning through Midwestern wheat fields, thrust toward ecstasy for reasons neither she nor we fully understand. On a parallel track, Malick follows Javier Bardem’s priest as he ministers to the rural poor, tending his flickering sense of the divine as Affleck and Kurylenko see to their wavering relationship. The film is, of course, replete with breathtaking nature photography, some of it apparently on loan from The Tree of Life, but there’s nothing to hold it together. It’s fascinating to see Malick finally admit evidence of the modern-day world into the frame, be it the nighttime glow of a Sonic Burger or Affleck’s job checking exurban housing developments for environmental contaminants, but it’s still hard to imagine his aesthetic making room for a cell phone or a laptop. On the other end of the spectrum in every conceivable way, Harmony Korine’s Spring Breakers emerged as the festival’s cult favorite, although it’s difficult to separate its genius from its idiocy.

Deriding soft-headed excesses.

>>> continued on page 24


the naked city | feature

[ fixated on residual negative energy ] Pig Iron’s festival record isn’t just good, it’s “Holy crap, that was the best production of Shakespeare I’ve ever seen” good. But Zero Cost House, developed with Japanese experimental playwright Toshiki Okada, is less accessible than the company’s previous story-based work. It’s more like trying to solve a puzzle for two hours — keeping an eye out like a birdwatcher as ideas cycle through the play, slightly different each time, just as characters occasionally hop from actor to actor. There’s definitely more to it than the surface weirdness, but there are so many variables that it might not all be getting across in one two-hour sitting. Through Sept. 22. —Emily Guendelsberger

The Gate Reopened is another of

Brian Sanders’ trademark sexy thrill rides that makes you think, “Did he/she really do that?” It’s packed with precarious, ingenious stunts that put his toned corps through the physical wringer as they spin, climb, backbend, free-fall and cavort on an industrial playground/cage-match set. A reimagining of a 2003 Fringe hit, the new version is even more spectacular. But for those who recall the famed “flying boobs” routine (involving two topless women spinning around on a suspended metal ladder), rest assured that it’s back, and is still impressive. Through Sept. 22.

—Deni Kasrel

³ theater Philadelphia Artists’ Collective specializes in inspired revivals of lesser-known, seldom-seen classics, and their riveting intimate production of Creditors is as emotionally violent as their vast and bloody Duchess of Malfi two years ago. While nudity and spectacle pull more attention during the fests, Creditors shows that nothing succeeds better than genuinely acted, smartly directed, down-and—Mark Cofta dirty drama. Through Sept. 23.

flickpick

³ theater Presented by Theatre Exile, The Edge of Our Bodies offers a tale — perhaps a tall one — told in the first person by Bernadette (Nicole Erb), a 16-year-old girl who leaves her boarding school to give some unexpected news to her boyfriend in New York. If you’re drawn into Bernadette’s drama, you may find the meticulous nuance of playwright Adam Rapp’s script poignant. Or you could lapse into ennui over the incessant whining of a poor little rich girl. I found it a bit of both. Through Sept. 23. —Deni Kasrel

[ movie review ]

A breed apart from the animal kingdom.

TWIN SHADOWS ³ ON HERE COMES DREAMBOAT,the pecu-

liar debut album by Philadelphia’s Son Step, twin brothers Jon and Chris Coyle do the improbable: They make the amorphous palpable. They take nebulous avant-garde noise and droning ambient swells, feed it an occasional spoonful of sugary garage-punk and cook it till it pops. The quartet — singer/sequencer Jon, bassist Chris, sampler/guitarist Patrick Lamborn and drummer Matt Scarano — makes catchiness the rule rather than the exception. Songs like the eerily twinkling “I’m Only” bolster Jon’s handsome vocals with contagious melody and a twisted rhythm slithering through a jumble of guitar fuzz and electronic blips. “I think our common goal is to take the listener ‘out there,’ to an abstract place, but to simultaneously hit them with the directness of our song-form,” says Chris of Son Step’s hypnotically odd and beautiful sounds and structures. “The grooves tend to be off-kilter, and the harmonies sometimes unfamiliar, but the spirit of it all forces you to take it all in meaningfully. At least that’s what we hope.” His bro concurs. “We bundle up a lot of things into these tunes: rhythms, moods, textures,” says Jon. “Often that mix tends to feel a bit scatterbrained before we get close to the finish line. But when we open them up long enough, we manage to reach a very specific sound that we can all really identify with.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net) ✚ Thu., Sept. 20, 7 p.m.; Fri., Sept. 21, 9 p.m.,

$5-$20, with the Bodyfields Collective, First Unitarian Church, 2125 Chestnut St., 215-4131318, livearts-fringe.org.

23

of such self-conscious stature that it demands to be called a masterpiece. That’s not the same thing as being a masterpiece, mind you, but for long stretches, it’s close enough. Joaquin Phoenix plays Freddie Quell, a World War II sailor who returns home with little more than a taste for home-brewed cocktails. One night, in a toxic haze, he wanders onto a yacht chartered by Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman), the guru behind a nebulous self-help movement called The Cause. Anchored by a charismatic author and fixated on residual negative energy carried over from past existences, The Cause is clearly based on Scientology, but Anderson, like The Cause’s leader, keeps the details vague. One of the film’s recurring motifs is a Rorschach blot; like The Cause itself, The Master is a warped mirror held up to its would-be followers. Less ponderously about America than Anderson’s There Will Be Blood, The Master is driven by more primal, less chauvinist urges. Dodd insists that humankind is a breed apart from the animal kingdom, but Freddie is all urges. In the first scene, as word of the armistice filters in, he and his fellow sailors fashion a woman’s body out of wet sand to celebrate, and until the movie’s final scene, that’s as close as Freddie comes to getting his end wet. Whether he’s striking out or pushing away, he remains unsatisfied, which may be a deliberate metaphor for how The Master leaves us. Phoenix’s performance is a guttural wonder, and Hoffman seems to have found a whole new register for his voice, but as Freddie drifts into and finally out of Dodd’s orbit, Anderson seems like a chess player toying with a mid-level piece, shifting him around the board without a strategy in place. The Master is less than the sum of its parts, but, oh, what parts they are. —Sam Adams

Son Step makes catchiness the rule on its debut.

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THE MASTER [ A- ] MAJESTICALLY SHOT IN 70mm, Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master is a film

CULT CLASSIC: Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master stars Joaquin Phoenix as a wayward World War II sailor who gets involved in a weirdo self-help movement called The Cause.

By A.D. Amorosi

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³ theater

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✚ Oh, Canada

<<< continued from page 22

Like a modern-day Network without the sloggy speechifying. Starring Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens as impressionable nubiles who fall under the sway of James Franco’s dreadlocked Fagin, the movie digs through piles of crushed Coors Light cans and used condoms, finding rich, moist soil beneath. With its heroines popping a squat for a roadside pee and donning bright pink ski masks to jack unsuspecting partiers, the movie plays like a Girls Gone Wild video directed by Werner Herzog, a toxic concatenation of animal impulses and pop-cultural detritus. Scoring a violent montage to Britney Spears’ “Everytime,” Korine attacks bottom feeders while himself fouling the fish-tank floor. Pablo Larraín’s No reads history through the lens of junk culture. Gael García Bernal’s adman finds his long-buried conscience when he’s asked to craft the nightly 15-minute spots urging Chileans to vote against the continuation of Pinochet’s dictatorship. Shot on vintage video cameras, the movie has a purposefully cheap and scummy look, recognizing that historical shifts often come from inglorious origins. Like a modern-day Network without the sloggy speechifying, the film recognizes mass media’s power to shift the cultural landscape while at the same time acknowledging that any expression funneled

through commercialized channels is always already compromised. It’s a profoundly optimistic film and a deeply pessimistic one at the same time. With Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell combines the handheld style of The Fighter with the ampedup performances of I Heart Huckabees, to sometimes winning, frequently enervating effect. The festival’s audience award winner stars local boy Bradley Cooper as a mental patient released into the care of his Eagles-obsessed father (Robert De Niro) and highly tolerant mother (Jackie Weaver). The combination of B-Coop’s anxious acting and Russell’s mobile camera works the nerves it’s meant to work, to the extent it’s an almost physical relief when Jennifer Lawrence turns up; beside Cooper, she’s a cool drink of water. (s_adams@citypaper.net)

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[ arts & entertainment ]

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shelflife Under the covers with Justin Bauer

Following sexy, impulsive werewolves. But where Death’s high concept makes for tight focus, Devil is kind of a mess, inconsistent in tone and polish. LaValle’s writing is often excellent, picking out details like the two patients wearing sport coats over pajamas “who cultivate their dignity long after anyone’s checking for it.” Just as often, he undermines something he should let alone, sabotaging a moment because he can’t pass up a joke. But when the monster shows up at the end, the reality of Pepper’s situation becomes perfectly clear. And rather than the work of the devil, it’s all the routine insults of bureaucracy — Pepper’s 72-hour evaluation period that stretches to indefinite committal, the mortgage-foreclosure software repurposed for patient management, the underfunding and cornercutting — that are the horrifying norm, making him the victim of a system working precisely the way it’s designed. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)

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New Hyde Hospital, where The Devil in Silver (Spiegel & Grau, Aug. 21) takes place, is decidedly not the hospital in Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.“Here’s what you have to understand about that book,” one patient says, rejecting it for her reading group. “As good as it is, it isn’t about mentally ill people. It takes place in a mental hospital, yes. But that book is about the way a certain young generation felt that society was designed to destroy them. Make them into thoughtless parts of a machine. To lobotomize them. That book is about them, not about people like us.” So Devil is no allegory. It’s a book about a basically decent guy named Pepper with some anger issues who gets involuntarily committed and then sees the devil in the form of an old man with the head of a bison, yes. But it’s no allegory. Actually, it’s a lot closer to the book that the patients choose over Cuckoo’s Nest — Peter Benchley’s Jaws, which Pepper realizes is about marriage while also being about a giant shark. Devil wants it both ways, too: horror and comedy, monster story and passionate treatise on health care. But horror is the foundation, and LaValle has earnestly incorporated its anxiety and incomprehension into his story. This is almost the opposite of something like Glen Duncan’s flashier Talulla Rising (Knopf, June 26), a trash-genre novel written by someone who made his reputation with politely received literary novels. As the second in a series following sexy, impulsive werewolves as they struggle to avoid extinction at the hands of icky, cold-fish vampires, Talulla should by rights be enjoyable, if not edifying. But it becomes clear pretty quickly that horror is just instrumental. Simultaneously embracing and holding himself apart from genre clichés, Duncan even copies the bad habits — ham-handed portentousness, constant repetition — that go along with them, making Talulla seem less like a fan’s notes than a mildly condescending pastiche. And that’s a shame, because pastiche can be useful, and artful, and an awful lot of fun. Ariel S. Winter’s The Twenty-Year Death (Hard Case Crime, Aug. 7) is ambitious and earnest about noir, which can be just as hidebound as horror.

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³ VICTOR LAVALLE WANTS you to know that

Death strings together three independent but connected novels, each one adopting the style of a master — Georges Simenon, Raymond Chandler, Jim Thompson. The first novel, “Malniveau Prison,” is the strongest, likely because Simenon’s strengths in clarity and plotting transplant most easily. But even when he’s channeling Chandler — the most dangerous of the three because of his style, easier to mimic than to use well — Winter is restrained enough to capture not just distinctive style but subject and character. His performance, in fact, is good enough to make you wish he had been able to do just a little more, mining the differences among his models to pull the three stories tighter. LaValle is no less earnest about horror than Winter is about noir.

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³ IF YOU’RE IN your 50s (I am), and American (I am), you probably read Love Story (I did), even if you won’t admit it. “What can you say about a 25year-old girl who died?” begins Erich Segal’s novel, in what must be the granddaddy of all spoiler alerts. Segal then spends 224 pages answering his own question — but I’ll bet you can guess. Jenny Cavilleri was talented, brainy and beautiful. She made everyone who knew her better, especially Oliver Barrett IV, the jock law student who romanced and married her despite his rich parents’ tight-lipped, WASP-y disapproval. Love Story wasn’t art — it was a formulaic, efficient tearjerker, brimming with clichés and stereotypes. But somehow, when the book came out in 1970, it took the country by storm. Shortly after, Ali MacGraw and Ryan O’Neal were an improbably gorgeous Jenny and Oliver in a movie that was, if anything, an even bigger hit than the book. Now, Love Story unapologetically re-emerges as a musical, imported from England’s prestigious Chichester Festival Theatre and receiving its American premiere at the Walnut. Clearly, this will make many people of a certain generation very, very happy. The Walnut’s opening-night audience laughed, cried and cheered. (Literally, all three. Sometimes simultaneously.) Indeed, there are many things to admire in the Walnut’s Love Story, among them the elegant direction (by Annabel Bolton) and the design, which is based on the Chichester production. An off-white unit set — a large hall with classical columns — seamlessly suggests the novel’s many locations (Harvard, Jenny’s Rhode Island home, two Manhattan apartments) and propels the complicated storytelling in a way that is both picturesque and energetic. The chamber orchestra is seated among the columns, a sophisticated touch that adds to the charm of the piece. Stephen Clark’s adaptation of the book captures Segal’s world faithfully, and, more impressively, theatricalizes it with brio. The best moments in Love Story (and some of them are terrific) are the playful sparring scenes between Jenny and Oliver, which, if not quite at His Girl Friday level, are nev-

ertheless delightful and do the one thing absolutely necessary for the show to click: They make us fall in love with Jenny. This is immeasurably easier because Alexandra Silber is excellent as Jenny. If you know the character only through MacGraw’s elfin, acting-free performance in the movie, you’ll be pleasantly surprised. This Jenny is feisty, funny, unsentimental and utterly winning. Will Reynolds isn’t quite so accomplished as Oliver, a less interesting role, but he’s lanky and likeable, and well-paired with Silber in terms of comic interplay. If only it were all this good. But as I said, this is Love Story the musical — and sure enough, the songs are meant to do much of the heavy lifting in terms of providing background info, moving us through time (from ’63 to ’67)

Can a musical be recommended in spite of the music? and supplying emotional weight. But Howard Goodall’s music is a swamp of generic pop melodies, repeated frequently yet completely unmemorable. The lyrics are equally colorless. At no point does the score touch on the music that pianist Jenny supposedly lives for (Segal answers his opening question with “ ... That she loved Mozart and Bach. And the Beatles. And me.”). And though both Silber and Reynolds have singing chops, the score seems awkwardly written for them — too high for him; across the break for her. Can a musical be recommended in spite of the music? Fans of Segal’s book may find a lot to like in the Walnut’s snazzy production. But you probably won’t leave humming the tunes. And if you do, you’ll wish you weren’t. (d_fox@citypaper.net) ✚ Through Oct. 21, $10-$85, Walnut

Street Theatre, 825 Walnut St., 215574-3550, walnutstreettheatre.org.


shorts

Evan Dickson, BLOODY-DISGUSTING.COM

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“THE BIGGEST AND BEST RESIDENT EVIL YET.”

FILMS ARE GRADED BY CITY PAPER CRITICS A-F.

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Chicken With Plums

NEW BACKWARDS

CHICKEN WITH PLUMS |CA crushing disappointment by almost any standard, Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Parronaud’s followup to the delightful Persepolis is a bad idea poorly realized. Dumping animation for stylized live action didn’t have to be a dealbreaker, but the pair have no idea how to calibrate flesh-and-blood performances, and the weaker story (taken from Satrapi’s graphic novel) certainly doesn’t help. Mathieu Amalric, as a violinist who loses the will to live after his wife smashes his prize instrument, is game to go broad, but the movie lets his just-this-side-of-mugging performance go flat, dissipating in the empty space around him. Disconnected from any sense of the tangible world, Chicken With Plums has the problems you’d fear from an animated film: It’s stilted, abstract, flavorless. Perhaps, having evaded the pitfalls while making Persepolis, Satrapi and Parronaud decided to try dropping into a few holes for a change. —Sam Adams (Ritz Five) DREDD |BApplying a steel-toed reboot to the long-dormant franchise, Vantage Point’s Pete Travis gives us a Judge Dredd for the 21st century: humorless, scowling and shot in murky 3-D. Karl Urban, adopting a version of Christian Bale’s goofy Batman growl, plays the titular judge, who in the dark future of Mega City One finds, tries and sentences criminals in less time than it takes to call a lawyer. Co-written by

END OF WATCH Read Drew Lazor’s review citypaper.net/movies. (Franklin Mills, UA Riverview)

HELLO I MUST BE GOING |C+ Under normal circumstances, Hello I Must Be Going would be just another forgettable indie time-waster about stunted adulthood. Actor-turned-director Todd Louiso, who also helmed the similarly themed Rushmore retread The Marc Pease Experience, does everything in his limited power to make the film just that. He tells the story, written by his wife Sarah Koskoff, in bland shallow-focus closeups; he marks every change in mood with an indie-rock-scored montage; and he lazily rolls out familiar scenes, from the awkward blind date to the reunion with friends who haven’t evolved since high school. But the one saving grace is his casting of Melanie Lynskey in a rare but deserved lead role. Since debuting in Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures in 1994, Lynskey has watched her co-star Kate Winslet go on to acclaim and stardom while she’s been stuck playing an

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A haiku: James Van Der Beek looks for love on the Schuylkill. Uh, Joey’s single, bro. (Not reviewed) (Ritz East)

Danny Boyle’s go-to dystopian Alex Garland, the movie incorporates the satirical edge of the British comic, unlike the DOA Sylvester Stallone vehicle; as Dredd and his rookie partner, played by Olivia Thirlby, enter the crime-infested skyscraper that will be their home for the rest of the movie, they pass a homeless man with a sign reading, “Will Debase Self For Credits.” Unfortunately, the flashes of wit don’t extend to the ho-hum action sequence that makes up most of the film or Urban’s colorless performance. Thirlby, as a psychic mutant who nonetheless knows her way around a firearm, has a grand time casting off Juno’s snark and kicking ass, but it’s unfortunately not contagious. —SA (Franklin Mills, UA Riverview)


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endless procession of put-upon wives and wisecracking best friends, becoming best known as Charlie Sheen’s stalker on Two and a Half Men. Here, she rescues her character, Amy, from being simply mopey and self-absorbed as she recovers from a divorce by crashing at her parents’ house and dating the 19-year-old son of one of her father’s clients. What could have been a frustrating inability to pull her life together becomes a believable conflict between the fear and the necessity of moving on, an inner conflict suggested by the play of reactions on Lynskey’s face. She deserves better material, and if Louiso’s film brings her any closer to getting it, then it won’t have been a total waste of time. —Shaun Brady (Ritz at the Bourse)

HOUSE AT THE END OF THE STREET A haiku: The house is clearly

“ONE

haunted or something like that. So move. Problem solved. (Not reviewed) (Franklin Mills)

KEEP THE LIGHTS ON |AThere’s hardly a moment in Keep the Lights On when the film’s central couple isn’t bordering on collapse. After their first sexual encounter, a tryst arranged over a phone-sex line, closeted lawyer Paul (Zachary Booth) promptly informs documentarian Erik (Thure Lindhardt) not to get his hopes up for a second go-round. But Erik must view the dismissal as a challenge, because he soon returns to Paul’s place for a more emotional engagement. Ira Sachs’ intimate drama, an episodic exploration of the ensuing 10-year relationship between the two, finds its provenance in those uncertain moments. As the movie hops from one precarious situation to the next,

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that depicts them. —Michael Gold (Ritz at the Bourse)

Read Sam Adams’ review on p. 23. (Ritz Five)

TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE A haiku: Hope Clint Eastwood still likes talking to empty seats. Yeah, we stole that joke. (Not reviewed) (Franklin Mills, Roxy, UA Riverview)

CONTINUING ARBITRAGE |B+

inscrutable, making the audience’s relationship to them distant rather than emotional. Beautifully gritty shots lend the movie an important authenticity, grounding viewers in on-screen action rather than wistful nostalgia. Amid such understated storytelling, the movie’s most evocative moments come during well-crafted sex scenes — the only occasions when Paul and Erik seem as honest as the raw movie

From the get-go, Robert Miller (Richard Gere) looks like the newest model from the Gordon Gekko mold. One by one, Arbitrage presents the identifying traits: First comes Miller’s sharply tailored gray suit, then the young trophy mistress and, most crucially, the egregious fraud that hedge-fund manager Miller has been perpetuating. The similarities stop there, because helmer Nicholas Jarecki wisely takes this psychological drama elsewhere. Traces of Hollywood’s typically moralistic formula remain. What makes Arbitrage feel novel is the movie’s nonjudgmental take on its protagonist’s misdeeds. As Miller’s wrongdoings pile up, he never stops to squirm. Lying handily to his wife (Susan Sarandon) poses no problem. Neither does risking the future of his unwitting daughter (Brit

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“A FUNNY AND INSIGHTFUL FILM. I COULD’VE WATCHED IT FOR TEN-JUDD HOURS. � APATOW “AN AMIABLE WOODY ALLENESQUE COMEDY.� -RICHARD CORLISS, TIME MAGAZINE From the producers of This American Life

Mike Birbiglia Lauren Ambrose

sleepwalk with me

Marling) with Madoff-style deception. The only hint of remorse comes when the financier drives his paramour into a lethal car wreck, but it quickly fades as Miller decides to cover up the accident. Jarecki’s slick script keeps Miller’s intertwined dramas in check as pressure continues to build. Meanwhile, Gere’s charisma is on full display, making his character remarkably difficult to root against. Since Gere’s stolid expression betrays no inner anxiety and the script never pauses for reflection, the audience becomes increasingly complicit in Miller’s immoral crimes. The resulting discomfort is what gives this thriller a pleasantly energizing pulse. —Michael Gold (Ritz at the Bourse)

FINDING NEMO 3D A haiku: I will look for you, little fish. I will find you and I will kill you. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION A haiku: Once more into the fray, invincible lady! But that’s it. Last fray. (Not reviewed) (UA Riverview)

SLEEPWALK WITH ME |A Comedian Mike Birbiglia (who also co-wrote the script with This American Life's Ira Glass) plays the suspiciously identical-in-every-way Matt Pandamiglio, a charming, bedheaded, maturitystunted rookie comedian who talks to the camera about trying to launch his career while ignoring his bigger issues. For one thing, there’s the reverse rom-com arc he’s going through with his dynamite longtime girlfriend Abby (Lauren Ambrose). For another, there are his increasingly dangerous sleepwalking episodes (shown in hilarious and surreal Walter Mitty-esque dream sequences) that often leave him bleeding and bewildered. Along the way, the movie has some smart things to say about the delusional life of the road-warrior comic, driving lonely miles to tell the same jokes to halfempty rooms for low pay. A number of Birbiglia’s comedy peers — David Wain, Jesse Klein, Marc Maron, Wyatt Cenac, Kristen Schaal — score a little screen time, but nobody steals a scene like Carol Kane, who plays Matt’s mom with warm, tipsy grace. —Patrick Rapa (Ritz at the Bourse)

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a hint of “what if?� underlying each scene makes Keep the Lights On more of a post-mortem than a love story. The sense (and it’s a small one) that the couple’s lives could have taken such different turns adds poignancy to their struggles. If only Paul’s crack use hadn’t spiraled into addiction, or Erik’s need to be needed hadn’t been so crippling, maybe things wouldn’t have been so rocky. Despite its reflective threads, Keep the Lights On wisely refrains from sentimentality. By only offering glimpses of Paul and Erik’s connection, both characters remain

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COLONIAL THEATRE 227 Bridge St., Phoenixville, 610917-1228, thecolonialtheatre.com. RoboCop (1987, U.S., 102 min.): “Your move, creep.” Fri., Sept. 21, 9:45 p.m., $8. Out of the Past (1947, U.S., 97 min.): This fine example of film noir stars Robert Mitchum as a private eye attempting to escape his past. Sun., Sept. 23, 2 p.m., $8. Jiro Dreams of Sushi (2011, U.S., 81 min.): So far, this doc about 85-yearold sushi master Jiro Ono is City Paper’s only A+ film of the year. Sun., Sept. 23, 4:30 p.m., $8.

FRIENDS OF THE PHILADELPHIA CITY INSTITUTE LIBRARY Free Library, Philadelphia City Institute Branch, 1905 Locust St., 215-6856621, freelibrary.org. Delicatessen (1991, France, 99 min.): Not your typical French cuisine but, hey, it’s chewy. Wed., Sept. 26, 2 p.m., free.

SHOOTING WALL

“‘TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE’ IS org. Africa, I Will Fleece You! (1993, France, 88 min.): Political oppression in Cameroon is examined in this wellresearched doc by Jean-Marie Téno. Thu., Sept. 20, 6 p.m., free.

PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., 267519-9651, philamoca.org. This fall screening series focusing on independently made films by local directors kicks off with a screening of Vacant Guillotine Blues (U.S., 4 min.), the first of a four-part film anthology by Joe Kramer, and Joshua Martin’s feature-length Episodes from an Investigation (U.S., 115 min.). Mon., Sept. 24, 7 p.m., free.

More on:

citypaper.net

WONDERFUL.” Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES

“CLINT EASTWOOD IS AT HIS BEST. THIS IS PURE MOVIE GOING PLEASURE.”

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1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc. com. The Cabin in the Woods (2011, U.S., 95 min.): You may want to rethink that fall trip to the Poconos. Mon., Sept. 24, 8 p.m., $3.

Anderson Hall, Temple University, 2129 N. Broad St., temple.edu. Grizzly Man (2005, U.S., 103 min.): You may want to rethink that trip to Alaska to live among the grizzlies. Tue., Sept. 25, 5:30 p.m., free.

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[ movie shorts ]

MOSAIC AT THE MOVIES

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7855, amblertheater.org. Backwards (2012, U.S, 89 min.): Local auteur Ben Hickernell directed this shot-in-Philly sports drama about a professional rower who settles for a teaching gig after repeatedly failing to qualify for the Olympic team. The screening will be followed by a Q&A with the director. Sat., Sept. 22, 1 p.m., $7.25.

Leonard Maltin, REELZCHANNEL

TERRITORIES: AFRICA

✚ CHECK OUT MORE

African American Museum, 701 Arch St., 215-574-0380, aampmuseum.

R E P E R T O R Y F I L M L I S T I N G S AT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / R E P F I L M .

-Peter Travers

“FILLED WITH HEART, HUMOR AND

FANTASTIC ACTING.” Pete Hammond, BOXOFFICE MAGAZINE

THE BEST MOVIE I’VE SEEN ALL YEAR! A NEW AMERICAN CLASSIC!” -A.O. Scott

“AN ALTOGETHER AMAZING FILM!” -David Ansen

IF IT HAD BEEN DIRECTED BY CAMERON CROWE IN HIS PRIME.”

PHENOMENAL!” “PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN IS

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[ moments of grace and gospel ]

FRAMED: Glen Hansard plays Union Transfer tonight.

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The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings. IF YOU WANT TO BE LISTED:

Submit information by email (listings@citypaper.net) to Caroline Russock or enter them yourself at citypaper.net/submit-event with the following details: date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

THURSDAY

9.20 [ film/visual art ]

✚ THE LONG NOW Can you call something a moving picture if it doesn’t actually move? That’s the question at the root of Moore College’s current exhibition, “The Long Now,” which features a series of films that blur the distinction between still and motion

pictures. Of course, no one has posed that question with quite the provocation of Andy Warhol, whose infamous Empire (1964) — an eight-hour time-lapse shot of the titular NYC landmark — will screen on Oct 3. Other films on offer aren’t quite such endurance tests. The single tracking shot of Michael Snow’s pivotal Wavelength may test patience, but only for 45 minutes. And while Chantal Akerman’s 200-minute Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles earned her a bio entitled Nothing Happens, quite a lot actually does; her masterpiece is, essentially, a melodrama, just one that is compelling because of its refusal to look away from the minutiae. —Shaun Brady Through Oct. 3, free, Moore College of Art & Design, 2000 Benjamin Franklin Pkwy., 215-965-4027, moore.edu.

[ theater ]

“Delaware County’s first professional production,” a subtle reminder that this Tony Award-winner has been around for a while. Nevertheless, it’s a great show, well worth seeing — or seeing again. Based on John Waters’ hip-yet-subversive film, Hairspray is tons of rock ’n’ roll fun even while teaching us not to discriminate. Temple grad Victoria Mayo plays Tracy Turnblad, whose desire to dance on The Corny Collins Show drives the story, and Broadway veteran William Thomas Evans plays her mother Edna because … I don’t know why. She’s always played by a man, which I guess is funny. —Mark Cofta Through Nov. 4, $49, Media Theatre, 104 State St., Media, 610-891-0100, mediatheatre.org.

[ jazz ]

✚ HAIRSPRAY

✚ DAVID ULLMANN QUINTET

The Media Theatre bills its production of Hairspray as

Perhaps because he grew up in the city, guitarist David Ull-

mann doesn’t show off the frenzied muscularity symptomatic of so many young transplants to the New York jazz scene. The compositions on Falling, his second CD, are built around the kind of rhythmic intricacy so prevalent in academia-bred musicians (he graduated from the New School), but couched in a contemplative drift. His own playing is airy enough not to overwhelm the shimmering textures of vibraphonist Chris Dingman. Those two share the frontline with saxophonist Karel Ruzicka Jr., and between them delicately craft a fragile sound that doesn’t lack in assertiveness but is nimble enough not to shatter the mood of serenity that Ullmann carefully builds. Bassist Gary Wang and drummer Vinnie Sperazza add a rhythm bed that is supportive but flexible. The same band will be in tow for Ullmann’s latenight slot at Chris’. —Shaun Brady Thu., Sept. 20, 10 p.m., $10, Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com.

[ singer-songwriter ]

✚ GLEN HANSARD Glen Hansard will always be known as the Romeo-like songwriting troubadour from the film Once. Winning an Oscar for Best Original Song (“Falling Slowly,” written with co-star Markéta Irglová, at one point his real-life romantic partner) and having your movie blossom into a Broadway play makes you a popular fellow. But the Dublin-based Hansard has spent the last few years trying to confound expectations and going it alone without Oscar, Tony or Irglová. He opened for Eddie Vedder on the Pearl Jammer’s ukulele tour and usually wound up on stage with him. Then there’s his dazzling new solo album Rhythm and Repose. Though some will recognize smoothly soulful “Come Away to the Water” from the soundtrack to The Hunger Games (covered there by Maroon 5), the rest of Hansard’s solo debut is a happily unfamiliar experience

as his soft expressive vocals tackle self-penned moments of grace and gospel. —A.D. Amorosi Thu., Sept. 20, 8 p.m., $30, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

FRIDAY

9.21 [ jazz ]

✚ FOSTER MEETS BROOKS BIG BAND It’s unlikely that any of the members of the Foster Meets Brooks Big Band can even remember the comedian referenced in their odd name. “Lovable Lush” Foster Brooks died in 2001, and more than a decade later, saxophonist and bandleader John Foster is still a year short of drinking age. But a professor at Chicago’s South


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³ SHOCK DOC Forget that bargain-basement Muhammad biopic. Adi Sideman’s unforgettable 1994 documentary Chicken Hawk: Men Who Love Boys is almost as rudimentary a piece of work, but it’s a genuinely unsettling viewing experience with the actual power to offend, not just employing cheap agitprop tactics to inflame already-delicate sensibilities. The film takes an unflinching look inside the pro-pedophilia North American Man/Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), whose membership seems remarkably media unsavvy — even 18 years ago. Sideman maintains a controversially nonjudgmental stance, though his subjects take the rope he hands them and not only hang themselves but use it for autoerotic asphyxiation while ordering kiddie porn under their real names. The barely hourlong doc was screened in a handful of theaters and banned in multiple cities, then issued on VHS by Film Threat. It hasn’t seen a home video release since, but it’s not exactly the sort of movie that invites repeat viewings beyond its shock-yourfriends value. It does have its fair share of moments that sear themselves into the brain, however: the teacher gazing down from his window onto a school playground, declaring it “the promised land” while bemoaning his persecution; the profanity-laced rants greeting Italian-accented hotline operator Renato Corazzo upon his return home; the seemingly related taste for large-scale, über-tacky paintings of athletic boys in short shorts. And then there’s Leyland Stevenson, whose glassy-eyed recollections of his campsite activities make him such a leeringly creepy poster child for the organization that caricature would be redundant. Sideman will be on hand for PhilaMOCA’s screening, which will accompany the main feature with a program of thematically appropriate shorts. The original theatrical run paired Chicken Hawk with an inadvertently hilarious-in-context 1960s-era “don’t talk to strangers” educational short called Red Light, Green Light, but expect these films to head in decidedly more purposefully disturbing directions. Fri., Sept. 21, 8 p.m., $7, PhilaMOCA, 531 N. 12th St., philamoca.org. —Shaun Brady Have an upcoming event? Give it here. E-mail listings@citypaper.net.

Shore Youth Jazz Ensemble referenced Brooks when describing the young tenorman’s sound, which evoked smoky, booze-filled nightclubs of a time before his birth. Now in New York, Foster has enlisted his New School classmates, pianist Javi Santiago and saxophonist and Philly native Dahi Divine, to contribute arrangements, even though none has enrolled in orchestration classes yet. Divine will bring the band back to his old haunt as part of Chris’ Big Band Week, which will also include the likes of the Hoppin’ John and the Jump City Jazz orchestras. —Shaun Brady Fri., Sept. 21, 11 p.m., $10, Chris’ Jazz Café, 1421 Sansom St., 215-568-3131, chrisjazzcafe.com.

[ film ]

✚ FILMS4PEACE On World Peace Day, Philadelphia will join in a global screening of harmony-centric short films by 21 international artists asked to ponder the WILL KIRK

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meaning of peace. What results is a diverse array of languagenon-specific, multi-genred flicks by well-known artists, like Ergin Cavusoglu (Bulgar-



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season, and that season is now. Diiv share both a member and zeitgeist-ily surfy/summery nomenclature with fellow janglers Beach Fossils, but the reverb-happy Oshin (Captured Tracks), wherein melodies are frequently relayed via guitar rather than voice, is as autumnal as they come. Likewise their delicately new-wavetinted labelmates Wild Nothing, whose new Nocturne ups the fidelity from their gauzy, homemade debut, and swaps real drums for machines, without losing a whit of their shy, self-possessed serenity. —K. Ross Hoffman Mon., Sept. 24, 8:30 p.m., $15, with Blonds, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com

[ the agenda ]

WEDNESDAY

9.26 [ rock/pop ]

✚ R. STEVIE MOORE It’s tempting to lump R. Stevie Moore — the Nashville home-recording legend with, allegedly, 400-some cassette and CD-R releases to his credit — with other outsider artists like Daniel Johnston, Jad Fair and Wesley Willis. But while those guys are famously possessed by very

TUESDAY

9.25 [ rock/pop ]

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From Stockholm by way of Sub Pop, Niki & the Dove builds on the work of countless Scandinavian synth technicians to create an emotional electropop that’s by turns spare and richly textured. While The Instinct’s machinery entwines boom and clatter with a 21st-century precision, ’80s fetishists will find their pixie-pagan-princess prayers ELIOT HAZEL

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strange muses, Moore’s more of a musical polymath — one who never lets a musical idea go unrecorded — who’s equally adept at cranking out a fractured AM radio hit as getting wildly experimental, working in genres as diffuse as techno, hip-hop and glitchcore. Make no mistake, Moore’s muse is also quite unusual; consider that Ariel Pink (with whom he released the cringingly titled Ku Klux Glam) counts him as mentor. With backing band Tropical Ooze, Moore has attempted to whittle down his catalog of thousands (visit rsteviemoore.bandcamp.com for a taste) into a set list of his tighter, more rocking material. —Brian Howard

answered in the form of Malin DahlstrĂśm, whose voice bears flecks of Kate Bush, Stevie Nicks, Cyndi Lauper and Prince. Songs like “DJ Ease My Mindâ€? and “The Gentle Roarâ€? are fun for a round of spot-the-influence, but subsequent listens draw you further into the Dove’s own world. —M.J. Fine Tue., Sept. 25, 8:30 p.m., $15-$19.88, with Twin Shadow, Union Transfer, 1026 Spring Garden St., 215-232-2100, utphilly.com.

Wed., Sept. 26, 9 p.m., $10-$12, with Ecce Shank and The Interest Group, Johnny Brenda’s, 1201 N. Frankford Ave., 215-739-9684, johnnybrendas.com.

More on:

citypaper.net ✚ FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .


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misenplace By Caroline Russock

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MEAT AND THREE: Painted Hills short ribs cozy up to mac and cheese, tangy-tart greens and meaty baked beans. NEAL SANTOS

[ review ]

SMOKE AND CHEERERS Blue Belly brings barbecue to Bella Vista, with mixed results. By Adam Erace BLUE BELLY BBQ | 600 Catharine St., 215-238-0615, bluebellybbq. com. Open Wed.-Sun., 11:30 a.m.-7 p.m. Sandwiches, $9-$13; platters, $13-$16; sides, $4.

S

ometimes opportunities come along that are too good to pass up. For Gene and Amy Giuffi, owners of swine-savvy BYOB Cochon, the low-hanging fruit was a nearby ruin that once sheltered Little Fish, a lawsuit-waiting-to-happen space made structurally (and aesthetically) sound by the Tyson Bees posse slated to open a Thai restaurant there. When that project More on: stymied, the Giuffis took over, a prospect so geographically convenient the lease could have been negotiated by tin-can telephone. Blue Belly BBQ opened in July, and word worked its way through the neighborhood like a flirtatious plume of hickory smoke. The acclaim seemed instant, the status conferred as if through direct deposit. I don’t think Blue Belly is all that, a truth proved over a pair of spreads from this matchbox-sized, cash-only smokehouse, but it can be very good if you order the right combination of things — and better if Cochon’s meticulousness was applied as generously as the dry spice rubs.

citypaper.net

From the tidy menu, I tried twice as many sandwiches as platters and liked them half as much. Their nontraditional toppings intrigued: fennel salad, ginger-pear vinaigrette, pickled tomato and more, all compelling-sounding accessories for thoughtfully varied and carefully sourced meats treated with assorted marinades, rubs, hot and cold smokes, fryers, griddles and grills. Named for the Civil War-era slang for a Yankee soldier, Blue Belly has seceded like the South from the American barbecue Union. Giuffi does his own thing, inspired by backyard grilling sessions on his Big Green Egg. So Jamaica Lite jerked and pulled chicken breast (timid on the habañero, per pansy customers’ requests) stands alongside tender sirloin smeared with a paste of soy, gochujang and tenderizing kiwi in an effort to mimic Korean bulgogi. Mexican barbacoa, done with lamb shoulder instead of traditional goat or beef head, hums with cumin and chipotle. There’s a chili dog buried in pork ragout and a falafel topped off with a smoky charred-tomato vinaigrette. MORE FOOD AND What there aren’t are rules. DRINK COVERAGE “We don’t want the argument,” Gene AT C I T Y P A P E R . N E T / Giuffi explains. “We just want people to M E A LT I C K E T. enjoy it and not worry.” There will be no tribunal called to analyze the salt-and-pepper content of the dry rub, or any citations issued for which sauce — there are four, in squeeze bottles — you choose to pair with what meat. It’s a fun, unencumbered free-for-all ... and a lawless, danger-ridden Wild West. With no rules to curtail the over-embellishment of the sloppily built sandwiches, you wind up with limesplashed jicama, crunchy radish, chile vinegar and crispy tortilla >>> continued on page 40

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³ A RECENT New Yorker article by Atul Gawande cemented the fact that The Cheesecake Factory is a remarkable entity. This mall-parking-lot staple has the uncanny ability to maintain a menu of several hundred items ranging from wasabi-crusted ahi tuna to brûléed French toast, all of which are made in house and expedited from a kitchen where quality control is of utmost importance. Gawande sees the efficiency of Cheesecake’s model as something that the American medical industry should be taking notes from. To ensure that every new location of The Cheesecake Factory is churning out the same monstrous menu as the other 160 locations, an intensive training period occurs before the doors open. The latest outpost of The Cheesecake Factory opened this week outside Trenton in the Quaker Bridge Mall, giving us a chance to go behind the scenes, getting a firsthand look as the restaurant readied itself for flocks of mallgoers. Two days of highly structured trial dining took place over the weekend. Guests were enthusiastically greeted at the door and handed a serious stack of menus as well as detailed instructions on how the meal was going to go down. Each guest was allowed one cocktail, an appetizer for the table, an entrée and a slice of cheesecake to share. If this seems a little stingy, it’s worth noting that the Cheesecake’s portion sizes are nearly as expansive as their menu. Although the pre-opening menu is abbreviated compared to the regular phone book-sized tome, there was no shortage of choices. For example, 22 wines by the glass, 17 beers and 16 cocktails were available to give the newly hired bartenders plenty of practice mixing up Typhoon Punches and Kentucky Teas. Apps were pretty standard Cheesecake fare: outsized Tex-Mex egg rolls and Buffalo blasts. Things got interesting when it came time to choose mains. In order for the kitchen to get familiar with the vast offerings, each guest was given a menu with items different from all other guests at the table. Interested in the “Skinnylicious” salmon salad or the “Incredible” grilled eggplant sandwich? Sorry — if it wasn’t on your menu, no dice. Over the course of an intensive 12-day training period, all 250 front- and back-of-house staffers sat through the same practice meals, tasting their way though every last menu item, making certain that when it comes time for diners to fill out their pagelong comment cards, lofty Cheesecake expectations are not only met but exceeded. (caroline@citypaper.net)

food

CHAIN REACTION

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[ food & drink ]

HOW WE DO IT: The restaurants, bars and markets listed in this section

rotate every week and are compiled by City Paper editorial staff. If you have suggestions or corrections,email restaurants@citypaper.net.

✚ AMERICAN

✚ FRENCH

THE MILDRED

WILL BYOB

MAGPIE ARTISAN PIE BOUTIQUE

Pie devotees are flocking to this long-awaited addition to South Street with a laser-like focus on the beloved pastry and promises of new tastes to match the seasons. The shop’s not shy on sweets, with decadent flavors like butterscotch bourbon and buttery caramel apple. But owner Holly Ricciardi isn’t just serving up dessert — she’s got savory options, too, like a croquemonsieur pie. The truly insatiable can even order up a pie latte. Open Tue.-Sat., 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1622 South St., 267519-2904, iluvmagpie.com.

✚ COCKTAILS 1 TIPPLING PLACE

✚ ICE CREAM/ GELATO/WATER ICE BLISS

The folks from Manakeesh Cafe have expanded their Lebanese offerings with Bliss, a tropically hued ice-cream and juice shop. The menu is packed with smoothies in exotic flavors like mangoturmeric-cardamom as well as fruit desserts featuring ashta, a Lebanese cream, crepes, waffles, puddings and parfaits. Open Mon.-Sat., 9 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun., 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 4420 Walnut St., 267292-4733, manakeeshcafe.com.

✚ BAR/PUB

PIZZA BRAIN

The second branch of this Ocean City, Md.-based fast-casual concept serves up gluten-free, choose-your-own-adventure Mexican in Rittenhouse. Nachos, tacos and salads are customizable with options including orange-chili fish, chipotle brisket and peach-habanero salsa. Open Mon.-Sat., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Sun. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1935 Chestnut St., 215-496-9393, puretacos.com.

BEER, BRAT & CHIPS FOR $12 $3 REFILLS EVERYDAY IN OCTOBER WITH THE T17 OKTOBERFEST GLASS

✚ PIZZERIA Few casual-dining openings in recent memory have been quite so rabidly anticipated as that of new pizzeria/museum Pizza Brain. Diners will find strictly American-style pies on the wide-ranging menu, whose breadth pales in comparison only to the Guinness World Record-holding collection of pizza memorabilia on display. Options range from basic red pies to white pies like the Queenie Delouche, topped with fontina, goat cheese, garlic, rosemary and portobello and shiitake mushrooms. Dessert options include pizza flavored ice cream from the neighboring Little Baby's Scoop Shop. Open Tue.Wed., 11 a.m.-10 p.m.; Thu.-Sun., 11 a.m.-midnight. 2313 Frankford Ave., 215-291-2965, pizzabrain.org.

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PURE TACOS

Taking over the former Tritone space at 15th and South, The Cambridge brings reinvented pub grub to the table as well as a solid draft list and cocktail menu. The rustic space is home to all sorts of kitchen-sink mash-ups including a Porker Burger, which takes all of the components of a roast-pork sandwich and molds them into burger form, and a Chip Buddy Poutine consisting of fries, cheese curds and gravy sandwiched into a seeded roll. And if your inner fatty is craving dessert, there are (still) deep-fried Snickers bars in the house. Open daily, 4 p.m.-2 a.m. 1508 South St., 215-455-0647, cambridgeonsouth.com.

Whatcha Eatin’?

✚ MEXICAN/ SOUTHWEST

Living-room vibes make 1 Tippling Place a low-key destination for Rittenhouse cocktailing. Cocktails tend to lean toward the more straightforward, classic end of things with seasonal punches, and snacks have a retro, Betty Crocker feel — spiced pecans, sausage rolls and scoopable dips. 1 Tippling Place is offering both a traditional early-evening happy hour as well as a late-night one. Open Tue.-Sun., 5:30 p.m.-2 a.m. 2006 Chestnut St., 215-665-0456, 1tpl.com.

THE CAMBRIDGE

classifieds

✚ BAKERY

Chef Chris Kearse, formerly of Pumpkin BYOB, has made the transition to chef-owner with the opening of his East Passyunk spot, Will. The cozy 30-seat BYOB puts out artfully plated, modern French offerings like rabbit rillettes with red plum; corn veloute with lobster, vadouvan and shisito pepper; and skate with garlic scapes and Manila clams. Tuesdays Kearse will be offering themed prix fixe menus focusing on single ingredients such as orchard fruit and local mushrooms. Open Tue.-Sun., 5:30-10 p.m. 1911 E. Passyunk Ave., 215-271-7683, willbyob.com.

food

Setting up shop in the former James space is The Mildred, a British-inflected concept from Michael Santoro (formerly of Talula’s Garden and of Heston Blumenthal’s The Fat Duck) and Michael Dorris. Menu highlights include stuffed quail, vitello tonnato and bratwurst with charred onions, grapes and lovage. Expect a high-caliber wine list, heavy on acidic varieties to complement the food. Open Tue.Sat., 5:30-11 p.m.; Sun., 5:30-10:30 p.m. 824 S. Eighth St., 267-6871600, the-mildred.com.


food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] To place your FREE ad (100 word limit) ³ email lovehate@citypaper.net A MOTHER PROTECTS Hey stupid ass bitch you gonna get mad at me because I didn’t want to leave my child with your fucking son’s girlfriend you can suck a big dick or a bleeding pussy! I hate you and I hate the ground that you walk on! You know what you just a miserable bitch and is finding any reason not to like me and a the moment I don’t care if you like me or not! I know in my heart that I am a real mom and a real mom protects...why would I just let anyone touch my child. You get shit bitch!

DEAD-BEAT Pay your fucking bills bitch...who do you think that you are...I hate the fact that you try to bully people into doing what you want them to do. I hate the fact that you even fuckin exist....You pork eating bitch...I can’t stand you and you know I wanna slap you...then you took the pork sandwich and put all this salt on it and stood there talking with your mouth wide open! I looked at you with disgust in my face and you looked at me and said, “Oh sorry I was chewing with my mouth full but I am a greedy something-something...I said yeah you a greedy pig! I hate you and if given one chance to slap the shit out of you...oh hell yeah Imma do it!

you caressing my face, hair and everything...I want you to know that you are very important to me still I see your face everywhere I go...I look at my baby and I think of you...with every fiber of my being I will do everything I can for my child without you.. but I still need your guidance...I love you so much! I wish you were here...everything would be more clear!

OH MARY Years later and I still imagine us fucking our brains out. I don’t care how our bodies may have changed, I’ve imagined every dirty scenario. If you still read/write, these, send me an evil message.

who hates you. Shaming him in front of strangers has nothing to do with what he did, it only points out that you are a shitty parent who doesn’t know how to deal with their child. You degraded him to being nothing but A liar and A thief to a bunch to strangers. The behavior was the unacceptable thing, not the kid. If you believe he’s a liar, he’ll believe it too. You’re doing everything possible to make your kid hate you, whether he ever steals from you again or not.

STOP WORRYING You are pretty much getting on my nerves...I don’t know how many other ways of saying it! Go sit the

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

42 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

Hey neighbor with you stupid ass...you had the nerve to talk about someone’s head your stupid ass with your little dick....yeah your girlfriend showed me your dick on paper...I looked at that small shit and said to myself...who the fuck would want that in them anyway! why would you wanna bother anyway even gettin it in with you anyways! Then you fucking look like Urkel from television a older uglier version of him. I like you only because you drive me to the store...other than that...youare worthless ride back on the fucking horse that you came in on! Jerkoff balding ass wanna be big dick holder!

GO AWAY, CREEP

HOW MUCH MORE You stupid bitch you don’t have to like me but you are going to fucking respect me! I respect you so what the fuck is the problem! Tell your son, that you are afraid that he is growing up...tell your son that you are afraid that he is going to take responsiblity You are basically telling him that you want him to keep dragging on your tities forever. I hate your fat ass and the couch that you rode in on!

I WISH... OMG how I miss you so much...just the thought of

THAT TOUCHED MY HEART Hey honey that touched my heart watching you with our baby...picking him up and even putting on his clothes..I was so happy watching the both of yall together getting everything and just watching how you and he enjoyed each other. I hope and wish for better times like that...I hope that there will be more good times like this between you and I and the baby...it really brought tears to my eyes. I love both of you!

YOU AND YOUR STINKY BAG OF WET CLOTHES

FUCK YOU!

Did you think you could keep creeping on me forever? There are laws against following, staring, and otherwise bothering someone day after day. No matter how much money you win on a scratch-off, it will never get me to love you. I was a nice person who was kind to strangers for 43 years. Now, I don’t want to give someone the wrong idea, especially any straight men. Way to go, jerk-off! Maybe your group home should have kept closer tabs on you. Now the cops will be watching you as you sit on benches on the street and stare at women. They’re NOT INTERESTED EITHER! You make me want to wear a burka!!!

in the store fucking stealing then gonna say to the shop keep that you probably see her when you get your lashes done! You dumb bitch don’t you know them false lashes take out your real eyelashes. Then the queen thing that was with you..you are too young to be all wild like you were...where are the parents through all this shit..I wonder...

A PHOTOGRAPHIC RETROSPECTIVE OF FEMALE EROTICA OPENING RECEPTION FIRST FRIDAY 10-5-12 / 6-10 P.M.

PRINTS BY SAMURAI

BLINKART GALLERY

108 CHESTNUT STREET, OLDE CITY, PHILADELPHIA WWW.BLINKARTGALLERY.COM / 215.588.4445

Maybe you know how bad it turns me on. I’m sure you swell up, too. 14 shots, strobe lights, come on girl!

SPITEFUL PARENTING=HATEFUL CHILD To the mother who made her son a wear a bright neon sign that said “I stole from my parents. I’m a theif! I’m a liar!” on the 34 trolley: Your kid did something stupid by stealing from you, sure. What you’re accomplishing, though, by publicly humiliating him, is some sort of vengeful, vindicitive parenting. It was cruel and will only result in a child

fuck down and stop worrying about shit that has nothing to do with you! You are a fucking piece of trash! Don’t you accept that? Can you tell me that! I hate the fact that you are just so fucking miserable and you keep reminding me of the same thing over and over again! I heard you the fucking first time!

You spooned with him on the other side of the tent. I didn’t sleep at all night because of the pounding jealously. After I drove you home, I found a bag of your wet clothes in my backseat. I was sure you did it on purpose so that we’d have to see each other again or maybe to stink up my car. I called you for days and you ignored me. I went to your work and they said you’d just left. I found your car outside your place and the hood was still warm and tinkling so I knew you were home. For an hour, I sat on your stoop in the rain with your smelly bag. You didn’t answer the door, probably because you knew I wanted to give you more than your clothes-a piece of my mind or something. But all I wanted was to tell you that I was thankful. Earlier when my mom had seen me moping over you, she had quoted Schiller: “The reward for love is love.” I wanted to tell you that the way I felt about you transformed me and suffused everyting else with meaning and splendor-and even if you didn’t love me back, even if I was reduced to imaginging that you were punishing me (because at least that would be something), still I was bursting with gratitude. But then five years went by and I never got to tell you. So maybe you heard the thunder in my chest when I finally had you in my arms, or when we woke up spooning, or when I caught the scent of your hair as your head was on my shoulder at breakfast. Now we’re a continent apart and maybe this will destroy me all over again, but still I will be thankful.

YOU ARE FUCKING BEAT! Your salary beats my paycheck any day and you fucking complain like a little fucking child...do you really think that anyone wants to hear your mouth? Seriously though...everyone has their own problems...really don’t need your problems contributing to my own...how about complaining to yourself or shut the fuck up already! You claim you are looking for find employment elsewhere...find it be the fuck done and shut the fuck up! I hate that I have to stand by you all fucking day and make tacos with your miserable ass!

STUPID GIRL I THINK! I couldn’t tell if you were a girl or not but you need bigger shorts and you need to stop talking all like you have a fucking sinus problem. I know you were

✚ ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.


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jobs

ADOPTION

Public Notices

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AIRLINE CAREERS

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The worlds leading interactive dateline has EXPANDED and the hottest men and women are ready to hook up. CASUALLY and DISCREETLY.. Call TODAY and hook up TONIGHT... CALL NOW 1-888-334-5477

Business Services REGULAR MASSAGE THERAPY

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For Sale

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Concrete, Houses & Decks. The weather is changing. Now is the time to have you concrete washed and sealed! Call now: (412) 346-2025 or (570) 591-1933 PA094210 SAWMILLS

Antiques-Vintage for fair price! Please call 267-8504772.

ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT

University City real estate company seeking PT/FT administrative assistant. Duties include light book keeping and answering phones. Must be detail or iented, Word and Excel knowledge a +. Salary comparable w/ experience. Email resume to angie11017@aol.com

Help Wanted – General

FINANCIAL

Gold and Silver can protect your hard earned dollars. Learn how by calling Free-

ACTORS/MOVIE EXTRAS

Needed immediately for upcoming roles $150-$300/day depending on job requirements. No experience, all looks, 1-800-560-8672 A-109 for casting times/locations. HELP WANTED

FOREMEN to lead utility field crews. Outdoor physical work, many positions, paid training, $17/hr. plus weekly performance bonuses after promotion, living allowance when traveling, company truck and benefits. Must have strong leadership skills, good driving history, and able to travel in Pennsylvania and nearby States. Email resume to Recr uiter4@osmose. com or apply online at www. OsmoseUtilities.com EOE M/F/D/V LIVE-WORK-TRAVEL-PLAY! Hiring 18-24 girls/guys. $400$800 wkly. Paid expenses. Signing Bonus. Energetic & Fun? Call: 1-866-574-7454. HELP WANTED

HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED DRIVER

AVERITT IS LOOKING FOR CDL-A DRIVERS! Weekly Hometime and Full Benefits Package. 4 months T/T Experience Required-Apply Now! 888-362-8608 Visit AVERITTcareers.com Equal Opportunity Employer HELP WANTED DRIVER

CLASS A DRIVERS APPLY NOW!!!!! Up to 42 CPM. $1500 SIGN ON BONUS. Wkly Pay, Holidays, Vacation & MORE. 2 Years T/T EXP. 800-524-5051. www. gomcilvaine.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

HELP WANTED

Business Opportunity

Drivers-Co-O/Ops/ SolosTeams. Class A-CDL 1 yr exp in last 3. Long Haul, Regional. Refrigerated or Dry Van. New Pay Packages. 1-800-695-9643 or www. driveforwatkins.com

TRY SOMETHING NEW. Po-

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Driver:CDLA-A Van & Flatved *New Pay Package! *Very New Trucks *Benefi ts After 30-Days *Great Miles, Pay * D e p e n d a bl e H o m e t i m e *Star t Immediately! CDL Graduates Needed! 877917-2266 drivewithwestern.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-A. Duie Pyle Needs Owner Operators & Company Drivers. Regional Truckload Operations. HOME EVERY WEEKEND! O/O Average $1.84/Miles. Steady, YearRound Wor k. Requires CDL-A, 2Yrs. Exp. Call Dan: 877-910-7711 www.DriveForPyle.com

Drivers: CRST offers the best Lease Purchase Program *SIGN ON BONUS! *No down payment or credit check *Great Pay *Class A CDL required *Owner Operators Welcome. Call: 866403-7044. HELP WANTED DRIVER

Exp. Reefer Drivers: GREAT PAY/Freight lanes from Presque Isle, ME, Boston-Lehigh, PA. 800-27-0212 or primeinc.com

Make up to $1000 a week mailing brochures from home! FREE Supplies! H e l p i n g H o m e - Wo r ke r s since 2001! Genuine Oppor tunity! No experience required. Start immediately! www.theworkhub.net $$$HELP WANTED$$$

Extra Income! Assembling CD cases from Home! No Experience Necessary! Call our Live Operator Now! 1-800-405-7619 Ext. 2450 http://www.easyworkgreatpay.com

Situations Wanted JOB WANTED LOOK!!!

I am looking for work...I am a General Helper that can do anything. You name it.... reliable dependable morning person. Christian 267592-7181.

HELP WANTED DRIVER

NOW HIRING: CDL School Graduates. Recent CDL graduate. Top industry pay/ Raises. Reach Top Pay in As little as 5 years. Student Bonus! (866) 204-0648 Transportamericadrivers.com HELP WANTED DRIVER

Teams split $.513 per mile, Solos Earn $.437 per mile, Teams sign on $7,500, Solo sign on $2,000, 1 yr OTR Exp, CDL-A-HazMat 877628-3748. HELP WANTED!!

Extra income! Mailing Brochures fro home! Free supplies! Genuine opportunity! No exper ience required. Star t immediately! www. themailingprogram.com

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real estate

LOTS /ACREAGE

NY CABIN AND LAND BARGAINS: 6 acres-w/streamWas $29,995 Now $19,995. 3 acres-long range viewsWas $29,995 Now $15,995. 4 acres-”Alaskan style” river lodge-Was $89,995 Now $59,995. Many more deals n o w. C a l l a n y t i m e 8 0 0 229-7843 VISIT: LANDANDCAMPS.COM

Resort/ Vacation Property for Sale

LAND FOR SALE

Lake Property, NY: 6 acres Salmon River Lake $29,900. 7 acres 100’ on bass lake $39,900. 4 lake properties open house September 2930 www.LandFirstNY.com 1-888-683-2626.

Two Bedrooms TWO BEDROOM APARTMENT

8xx Bainbridge St. Available Oct. 1st. $975 + Utilities. NO PETS. Call 215-687-5629

Homes

VACATION RENTALS

OCEAN CITY, MARYLAND. Best selection of affordable rentals. Full/partial weeks. Call for FREE brochure. Open daily. Holiday Real Estate. 1-800-638-2102 Online reservations: www. holidayoc.com.

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rentals

3062 RUTH STREET

Modern 2 Bedroom Home, Hardwood Floors, Washer/ Dryer, Fridge, $695/month. Call Pete: 267-307-0371 532 WATKINS STREET

Pennsport Area, Modern 3 Bedroom Home, Hardwood Floor, Washer/Dryer, Fridge, Large Basement $850/month. Call Pete: 267-307-0371

Roommates ALL AREAS-ROOMATES. COM

Apartments for Rent 2ND FL 2BR DUPLEX FOR RENT

Land/ Lots for Sale

fireplaces, garbage disposal, HW floors, WD hookup, private courtyard, intercom. $950+ Utils. Call Bob: 215520-1232

Philadelphia $795.00/month, utilities not included. New renovated kitchen & windows. Shared basement with separate storage. Garage Available Nov 1st. Bill 2156516524 NORTHERN LIBERTIES

2 b d r m t r i n i t y a t 9 4 4 C. North Orianna St. AC, two

Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! V i s i t : h t t p : / / w w w. R o o m mates.com.

Rental Wanted APARTMENT WANTED FOR MYSELF!

I am currently looking in Center City a one or two bedroom 1st floor Older male. Ask for Christian 267-592-7181.

[ comic ]

HELP WANTED DRIVER

Drivers-CDL-A Experienced Drivers: Up to $5,000 SignOn Bonus! 6 mos. OTR exp. starts @ $.32/mile. New Stu-

lulueightball By Emily Flake

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T | 47

from only $3,997.00-MAKE/ SAVE MONEYwith your own bandmill-Cut lumber any dimension. In stock ready to ship. FREE Info/DVD: www.

ANTIQUES-VINTAGE

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classifieds

Are you pregnant? A married couple (in their 30s) seeks to adopt. Full-time mom & devoted dad. Financial security. Expenses Paid. Ann & Michael. 1-800-505-8452.

CASH FOR CARS

dent pay & lease program. USA TRUCK 877-521-5775 www.USATruck.jobs

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

market place

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

merchandise market

BED: New Queen Pillow Top Set $150 . twin, full, king avail. Del avl 215-355-3878 Bedroom Set 5 pc. brand new $399 All sizes, Del. Avail. 215-355-3878

BRAZILIAN FLOORING 3/4", beautiful, $2.75 sf (215) 365-5826 CABINETS SOLID MAPLE Brand new soft close/dovetail drawers Crown Molding. 25 colors. Overstock. Cost $5,300. Sell $1,590. 610-952-0033 Diabetic Test Strips needed pay up to $15/box. Most brands. Call 610-453-2525 LUNCH CART FOR SALE $20K, Please call 856-761-2668. Pinball, shuffle bowling alleys, arcade video games, jukeboxes 215.783.0823

BD a Memory Foam Mattress/BoxsprIng Brand New Queen cost $1400, sell $299; King cost $1700 sell $399. 610-952-0033 Bd a Queen Pillow top matt set $169; King $269 mem foam $249. 215-752-0911

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

33&45 RECORDS HIGHER $ REALLY PAID

LIFT CHAIR - Lovely, new, Hunter Green, at less than half price. (610-513-8571)

PIANO Yamaha 42 inch console with bench, 5 years old (mahogany case), Queen Anne style, sacrifice! $1325. One owner, free delivery, 215-266-7273

2012 Hot Tub/Spa. Brand New! 6 person w/lounger, color lights, 30 jets, stone cabinet. Cover. Never installed. Cost $6K. Ask $2,750. Will deliver. 610-952-0033.

33 & 45 Records Absolute Higher $

* * * 215-200-0902 * * *

Ragdoll Kittens: Beautiful, guaranteed, home raised. Call 610-731-0907

American Bulldog pups, NKC reg., M & F, 1st shots, $1200. Call (609)963-5629 Beagle AKC reg, 17 month old male, sweet dog, $300/obo. 610-636-7207 Bichon Frise akc female pups, $750 vet checked, family raised call (717)225-5047 Cavalier Puppies - (215) 538-2179 www.willowspringcavaliers.com English Bulldog Pups, 10 weeks, shots, vet, reg, dewormed. Call 215-696-5832 ENGLISH BULLDOG PUPS AKC, 9 wks, family raised, $2,200. Call 215-869-7757

English Bulldog Pups, Male & Female ACA, $1000. Call (717) 572-9602 ENGLISH BULLDOGS AKC, champ blood lines, wrinkles+, health guar, vet check, shots/worm. $1,800. (484)319-0571 German Shepherd Puppies $950 856776-6138 or lightning54sc@comcast.net German Shepherd, pups AKC, ready 9/8, s/w, vet chkd, $600, 717-687-7218 G erman Shepherd Pure Breed Pups, 2 blk males, 3 mos, $950, 856-577-9086 Gordon Setter Pups - Great family companion /excellent bird dogs 570.662.2167 Havanese Pups AKC, home raised. 262-993-0460, www.noahslittleark.com

LAB PUPPIES - AKC, excel. quality yellow pups, family socialized, health guar., $600/ea. Call 717-529-3845

I Buy Anything Old...Except People! antiques-collectables, Al 215-698-0787 JUNK CARS WANTED We buy Junk Cars. Up to $300 215-888-8662 Lionel/Am Flyer/Trains/Hot Whls $$$$ Aurora TJet/AFX Toy Cars 215-396-1903

apartment marketplace Independence Place 1BR $1,395/mo 241 S. 6th St., 24/7 doorman, laundry in unit, available now. Call 215-627-0863

Broad & Ritner 1br/1ba $750+ 1st floor, yard, hardwood floors, washer/ dryer on premesis, Call (215)913-9866

Labrador Retriever black AKC Puppies hips certified Champ lines 215 260-1941 Maltese Maltipoo Pups: $500 for 7 or 8 lbs -$600 for 5 or 6 lbs. 302-525-9767

Miniature Schnauzer Pups - ACA reg., shots & wormed, 2 males. 215.822.7876

POODLE, Toy, AKC, M, black, 9 weeks Champ pedig. $500, 856-220-9794 Rottweiler Puppies, AKC reg, m/f, shots & wormed, tails docked. 410-378-4437 Rottweiler Pups AKC,Hme-Rais’d, health records, puppy kits,friendly, 717-271-8766 Shar Pei Puppies ready 10/25/12 5 girls & 2 boys – Variety of Colors 215-519-8652 Shih Tzu 8w M 350,3yr m stud 250 1yr f $100,6yr jap chin free. 215-806-3051 Shih Tzu Pups - Health guar., many colors, M & F, reg., $420. (302) 897-9779 SHIH TZU PUPS - M/F, gold / white,playful, loving pups. 267-797-0579 Yellow Lab Retriever Poodle X Cute, friendly labradoodles! $800 717-381-5026 YORKIE POO Vet Checked, 8 Wks. Small No shed. $475, No Text 267-322-8304

Generous Reward!

LOST DOG, small black & white Male Shih tzu near 71st & City Line. Owner grieving. 215-477-7813

Cobbs Creek Vicinity 1br $595+util quiet, newly renov, large rooms, EIK, conv. to public trans., all colleges & Center City, 1 mo. rent & sec, Call 215-880-0612

Books -Trains -Magazines -Toys Dolls - Model Kits 610-689-8476

pets/livestock Please be aware Possession of exotic/wild animals may be restricted in some areas.

apartment marketplace

** Bob 610-532-9408 ***

everything pets

48 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

Eagles (2) great seats Sec 224, Row 1 Most Games. 215-872-9616

1100 S 58th St. Studio, 1BR & 2BR Apts heat/hw incl., lic #362013 215-744-9077 1900 S. 65th St. 2BR Apt Newly renov, Lic #400451, 215.744.9077 20xx S. 68th St. 1br $550 1st floor of tri-plex 610-534-4521 58th & Cobbs Creek 2 BR $630+ utils newly renovated. Call 215-695-5194 70xx Greenway Ave. 2BR $775 incls. heat & water, fridge. 267-600-9569

4xx N. Simpson St. 1BR/1BA $625 Pvt. entrance & courtyard. 267-432-6011

51st and Market 1br $525 Newly renovated. Call 215-290-8702

5538 W. Thompson St. 1BR/1BA $525 LR/DR, kitch., newly renov. 267-767-5771 56th/Walnut 3br $775 renov. w/deck, 2 mo/sec. 215-300-2511

61xx Columbia Ave. 2BR/1BA $715+utils Newly renov., avail. immed. 410.428.6577 63xx Vine Efficiency $550+util. w/w, ac, nice kit/bth/clsets! EZ bus/shpg! Non Smkg! 267-357-0250 65xx W. Girard 2BR $775+ sec dep, w/w crpt, W/D 856-906-5216 Studio 1, 2 & 3br Apts $650-$895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900

Balwynne Park 2br $810+ 1st flr, w/d, garage, C/A. 610-649-3836 Balwynne Park 2BR $850+utils W/D, C/A, W/W. Call 484-351-8633

53xx Arlington St 1br $550+utils ground floor, private entry, LR, kitch & bath, 1st, last & security. 215-877-9472

15xx N. 29th St 2BR/1BA $700/mo 2nd flr washer/dryer in unit 215-519-5437 1641 W Lehigh Ave. 1BR All Util Incld Newly renov. 215-744-9077, Lic #374062 18xx Ridge Ave. 3BR Apt Must see, sec. 8 ok. 215-885-1700 2501 N. Garnet St. 1br $600 free heat 1 mo sec, 1 mo rent, Call 267-584-8451 31st & Lehigh 1 BR $550+util 1st floor, $1650 move in .215-424-3419

1,2, 3, 4 Bedroom FURNISHED APTS LAUNDRY-PARKING 215-223-7000

Brewerytown Effic. $595 + elec. 2 mos sec dep. N/S. 267-240-2474 BROAD ST. Efficiencies $575 On campus, furnished/unfurnished, utils incl, newly renov. Call John at 215-236-1612 or 302-345-6334

Castor Gardens 19149 1BR Apartment for Rent $650. Two car garage $200. (215)350-3600 / (215)742-9800. 1 BR & 2 BR Apts $725-$835 spacious, great loc., upgraded, heat incl, PHA vouchers accepted 215-966-9371 4617 Wayne Large Efficiency $480 heat & hot wtr inc. EIK, 267-756-0130 5220 Wayne Ave. Studio on site lndry, 215-744-9077, Lic# 507568 5321 Wayne Ave. Efficiency $550 1br $625. 2br $725. 215-776-6277 607 E. Church Lane 1BR nr LaSalle Univ,215.744.9077 lic#494336 6261 E. Wister St. Effic. $550 Call 215-290-3192 Wayne & Manheim St. Effic. $420+ 1st flr., rear apt., elec. only. 215.783.4736

7500 Germantown Av 2BR Gardentype! Special! Newly dec, d/w, g/d w/w, a/c, laundry & cable on prem, pet friendly, Off-street prkg 215-275-1457/233-3322 81xx Rugby St. 2br/1ba $775+utils 2nd flr, hwd flrs, kitch & LR, 215.868.2751

2nd & Godfrey 1br $660+utils 2nd floor, renovated, 267-229-4267 66 St - 1 & 2 B R . Handicap access. Ht/wtr/gas incl! Sec8ok 215-768-8243 66xx N. 15th St. 1BR $600 + gas & elec. Near pub. transp. Call 267-236-3401

68th Ave & 15th St. 2 BR $750+ elec, 1st flr, Move-in ready! 267-251-7523 Broad & Cheltenham vic 2br $740+util 2nd flr, Lg kit, LR, Must see! 215.850.1649 E. Oaklane: 66th Ave. 1BR, $575 2BR, $675. Call 215-651-3333

1684 Margaret St. 2br/1ba Porch, backyard. Call 267-257-0144 4645 Penn St. Lg 1BR $595. gas/wtr inc., Priv. deck 215-781-8072 4670 Griscom St. 1BR & 2BR Newly renov, Lic #397063, 215.744.9077 4840 Oxford Ave Studio, 1Br & 2Br Ldry, 24/7 cam lic# 214340 215.744.9077 Frankford Ave & Harrington St 1BR $525 Heat incl. Call Ben at 917-837-6316

Lawndale 1br & Studio $625+/mo. balc, A/C, AARP Discount. 609-408-9298 MAYFAIR - 64XX MARSDEN 2BR $695+utls, credit check 215-869-2402

WARMINSTER Lg 1-2-3 BR Sect. 8 OK 1 MONTHS FREE RENT!!! HURRY!! Pets & smoking ok. We work with credit problems. Call for Details: 215-443-9500

UPPER DARBY New renov 2br $800+utils 1st, last & current mo due. 610-202-9292

Pottstown 2BR / 1BA $600 New carpet, W/D in unit. Call Caitlan at 917-406-2868

11xx N. 55TH ST. $300 SPECIAL MOVEIN TO THOSE WHO QUALIFY! CALL FOR DETAILS! CALL 267-707-6129 13th/Erie furn rms $85 & up/week Priv. ent, single occupancy 215-514-7143 1547 S. 30th St. furn, fridge, $125 week; $375 move in. no kitchen. 215-892-7198 22nd & Hunting Park lrg rm, new renov., wall/wall, furn. $100/wk. 215-570-0301 22nd & Tioga Priv. ent, fresh paint, use of kit, w/w, grt loc! $120/wk $290/move in 267-997-5212 2435 W. Jefferson St. Rooms: $375/mo. Move in fee: $565. Call 215-913-8659 2718 N. 28th St. Studio, prvt. entr., $130/wk. $390/move-in. 267-250-0761 38xx N. 15th: Lg furn rm, 1 week free, $105/wk, $300 sec, 267-809-7866 4500 N. 17th St. $350/mo. new luxury room, Free Cable! Henry (267)974-9271

341 E. Louden St. 2BR/1BA $700 Call 215-290-3192 4th & Chew 1BR/1BA $650 New kitchen & paint. Call 215-439-8883 5849 N. Camac 1BR $600+utils renovated, 267.271.6601 or 215.416.2757

5300 Tabor Ave. 2BR/1BA $750 Water & gas incl. 2nd flr., 215-718-5858 58xx Reach St. 1BR/1BA $650 Sec. 8 not accepted. Call 267-439-8425 5xx Gilham 1Br $575+ utils Lawndale,2nd fl,credit chk 267-977-5639

4900 MARVINE ST: $110/wk, kitchen priv., no smoking/drugs. 215-457-7526 55/Thompson deluxe quiet furn $110wk priv ent $200 sec 215-572- 8833 56xx Morton St: Quiet victorian row house, newly renov., near trans., $125/wk, $300 sec., 1st week rent req. Call Mrs. Mac at 267-351-5547 57xx Baltimore Ave. Ages 55+ living, fully furnished, C/A. $125/wk. 484-250-3259 6034 Delancey, $120/week. newly renovated, 215-768-4107

Philly 1-2br $600-$750 Everything inc. Call Ruben (619)621-0800

Bridge & Pratt Effic. $445+elec. Call 215-613-8989 or 267-746-8696

A1 Nice, well maintained rms, N. & W. Phila. Starting @ $125/wk 610.667.9675

60th St. 1BR $550 heat & water incl. $1650 move in. Call (215) 872-6395 65 N. 53rd St. 2br $690+utils newly renovated. Call 215-768-4107


jobs

Lawncrest: 5xx Anchor St. 3Br/1Ba Section 8 ok. Call 215-407-2559 Home Healthcare Provider Seeking two mature indivs w/exp to live w/ eldery female patient in exchange for free rent & utils. Great for a person on a fixed income, (410)693-3711

18xx W Pacific 4br/2ba $1400+utils Section 8 ok. Call 215-836-0720 35XX Smedley St. 2BR/1BA 215-694-4001

Caregiver - Desires Pos. assisting sick & elderly, ref’s and car. 215-485-7460

homes for rent 908 N. 29th St lrg 4BR close to Girard College 215-744-9077

52xx Upland St. 3br/1ba $725/mo. nice updated house, w/d, (215)500-7610 62xx Paschall Ave. 4BR/3BA $1,200 Fin. bsmnt. Call 267-432-6011 63xx Yocum St 3br/1ba $625 65xx Gesner St. 3br/1ba $635 nwly renovated, backyard, 267-582-8841 65xx Allman St. 3br $750/mo. New remod, come see! 215-463-2403

65xx Saybrook Ave. 3Br newly renovated, Sec 8 ok 267-467-0140 67th & Greenway Vic. 4BR House Hardwood floors throughout, section 8 ok Call 267-902-6031

DOCUMENTATION SUPPORT SPECIALIST

ECRI Institute, Plymouth Meeting, PA

Mt. Laurel, NJ

PMC Group, Inc, headquartered at Mt. Laurel, NJ seeks a Manager with BS chemistry and 5 yrs exp handling regulatory matters relating to Material Safety Data and other regulatory info reqd by FDA, NSF, UL CONEG. Duties: Ensures all filings in timely manner, so that detailed reports are easily available to R&D and customers. Some travel reqd. Excellent computer skills. Apply online: dbarber@pmc-group.com

Shoe Salesperson

DODGE CHARGER 2007 NISSAN ALTIMA 2006 take over pyments, $349mo 215.516.9998

Eagle Vision/Intrepid 1994 $2500 4 door, 50k, VGD, PA insp, 610-203-6561 2xx E Shedaker 2br $700 1st, last, security deposit. Available Oct. 1st. Call 267-335-5950 or 215-839-2283

CHESNUT HILL 4BR/2.5BA $3,200 Bright & sunny, wrap around porch, fenced yard, renov. kitch., computer room, outdoor patio, C/A, walk to train, schools & shops. Call 215-740-6436

18xx Roselyn St. 2 Br new renov. duplex, Sec 8 ok 267.467.0140 2xx Laveer St. 3 BR $975+ utils fin. bsmnt, close to transp. 215-919-0727 East Oaklane 3br $900 + utilities Nice House, Great location, close to transportation. 1st and last rent. 215-266-0309

36xx Jasper St 2br $650 +utils nw paint, clean throughout 215-327-2292

A1 PRICES FOR JUNK CARS FREE TOW ING , Call (215) 726-9053

FORD ESCORT ZX2 1998 $1,250 4DR, Auto, Loaded, Clean, 215-280-4825

Make your tablet screen a whole lot brighter.

9xx Anchor 3BR $850+utils 14xx Lardner 3BR $800+utils Call 215-459-3564

Cheltenham Ave. 2BR/1BA $700 Ranch house, newly renov. 917-379-7302 Mayfair 3br $950 + Comp. Ren. twin Sec 8 OK. 215-364-0217 Oxford Circle 3br/1ba $850+ Porch, deck, renov. 267-632-4580

Darby 3br/1ba $950+utils prch,yd,close shop & transp 610.696.2022 UPPER DARBY 2BR/1BA $875+utils. Near 69th St. Hdwd flrs, C/A, garage, no pets, 2mo. sec. req’d. Call 610-370-6483

206 N. Simpson Street 3br/1ba $895 www.perutoproperties.com 215.740.4900 4xx Gross St. 3br $850+utils 1st, last & security, 610-348-1196

15xx N. 28th St 4BR/2BA $875/mo Recent rehab. 215-519-5437 18xx N. 24th St. 3BR/1BA $700+utils Newly renov. Nice block.267-625-0066 38xx N 13th St 4BR, nice, clean, near transp. $900+utils 267-602-8441 Nicetown 4br/1.5ba $750/mo. Avail. immed, newly renov. 267.808.9792 WANTED: Efficiency apt. on ground floor only, 1BR. Call (347) 825-0517

18xx Glenifer St. 3br/1ba $800 + utilities. Call 267-388-7385 4851 N. 7th 3br/1.5ba $700 nwly renov, enclosed porch & also Room , priv. bath & entry, $400mo 267-582-8841

automotive 325i 2002 $7,950 4 dr, SR, super clean. Owner sacrifice. Call Betty 215-629-0630

750iL 2000 $10,500 Mint condition in & out. 12 cylinder, auto., fully loaded. Must See! Jim 215-850-1362

M3 Convertible 2002 $25,000/obo laguna seca blue, SMG, 23,500mi, never in rain/snow, like new, blk 19" Kenesis 3pc wheels also avail. (302)242-4444

CONCORD LXi 2004 $5,700/obo 1 owner, garaged, 59K, all pwr, sunroof, lthr, maroon. VINELAND 856-362-0057

LS 400 1997 $5,000 20 in. chrome rims, fully loaded, immaculate condition. Call 610-517-4586

Get the Digital Edition of the Daily News. It’s smart stuơ that looks great on your tablet. To get your digital edition, just go to www.phillydailynews.com

49

Moorestown, NJ

Full Time, must be experienced, Carl’s Shoes. 856-235-6223

Chrysler Sebring 2005 $5,000 4 door, mint condition. 215-389-4310

West Phila 6br 2sty Sec 8 ok yd No cred chk $1200 Locators 215 922 3400 Haverford Ave 3br/2ba $950+utils huge house, 1mo. rent & sec 917.650.6855 W. & SW Phila 1br-3br Apts & Houses, $600-$800. 1st/last/sec. 215-878-2857

Product Regulatory Compliance Manager

JUNK CARS WANTED 24/7 REMOVAL. Call 267-377-3088

Ford Focus ZTS 2000 $895 5 spd, loaded, nds clutch. 215-947-9840 Ford Probe 1990 $795 5 speed, runs & looks good, 215.947.9840 Honda Accord 1996 $2,200 Sedan Wagon, 104K miles. 267.970.2623 MERCURY SABLE LS 2003 $2,675 Low miles, 1 owner, clean. 267.592.0448 Toyota Corolla LE 1991 $950 auto, a/c, 89k, 38 MPG (215) 620-9383 Volvo V70 Station Wagon 1998 $1,850 AWD, all power, 117K. (215) 620-9383 VOLVO V70 Station Wagon 1999 $1500 silver, exc cond. Call (215)758-7216

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

ECRI Institute is seeking a Documentation Specialist to provide support for quality measures content (related to healthcare) development and measure maintenance activities and to support various project needs for the National Quality Measures Clearinghouse™ (NQMC). Requirements: Bachelor’s degree with at least 1-2 years of office experience and proficiency in MS Office 2007+ and Internet navigation. For additional details and to apply online, please go to https://careers.ecri.org.

CADILLAC DeVILLE DTS 2001 $2,975 Moonroof, navig. 17in. rims. 267.592.0448 CADILLAC SEVILLE STS 1999 $4400 Exc cond silver ext, loaded 215-357-9507

$850

6135 Marsden St. 4br nw paint, must see, sec8 ok 215.264.2340 11xx N. Sloan St. 3BR/1BA $750/mo Recent rehab., porch 215-519-5437 11xx S. Peach St. 3br/1ba $800 54th St. 4br/1.5ba $900 Peach St. is renovated, 267-784-4500 1335 N. Wanamaker St. 3BR/1BA $850 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895 15xx N. 55th St. 4br/1.5ba $1400 section 8 ok, hardwood floors, large kitch, newly remodeled, 215-828-4804 3Br Houses Sec. 8 Welcome Beautifully renovated. Call (267) 981-2718 429 N. 59th St. 3BR/1BA $850 1st, last, 1mo. sec. req’d. 267-255-1895 51xx Reno St. 2BR/1BA $700+utils 2 story row home, porch, basement, ceiling fans, newly renov. 215-475-6095 Coddscreek 4br $1200 Corner house for rent, section 8 ok. Please call 267-335-2367

$400, Call 856-365-2021

classifieds

jobs

Cash paid on the spot for unwanted vehicles, 24/7 pick up, 215-288-9500

Junk Cars & Trucks Wanted,

6255 Limekiln Pike $125/week Room for rent. 215-549-2111

Broad & Hunting Park & all other areas $75-$125/wk. Newly renov., great transp., SSI OK. Call 267-588-5517 Broad & Olney lg deluxe furn room priv ent $145 wk. Sec $200. 215-572-8833 Erie/12th, furn, fridge, micro, quiet, $90wk, $270 sec dep (609) 703-4266 Frankford, nice rm in apt, near bus & El, $300 sec, $90/wk & up. 215-526-1455 Germantown Area: NICE, Cozy Rooms Private entry, no drugs (267)988-5890 Germantown,furn rms, renovated, share kitch & BA, $125/wk. 215-514-3960 Hunting Park Area $110/wk. Large room, share kitchen & bath. 215-668-6826 Hunting Park: Furn. Luxury Rooms. Free utils, cable, A/C. Call 267-331-5382 LaSalle Univ area $125/week Renov furn rooms 215-843-4481 MT. AIRY (Best Area) $130/week. cable, SSI ok. Call 215-730-8956 N Phila Furn, Priv Ent $75 & up : No drugs, SSI ok. available now 215.763.5565 South Phila, 26 Oakford, $340$380/month. Please Call (267) 997-8142 S.W. Phila $100-$125/week. Drug free, clean. $300 move in, Call 267-414-7805 West Phila, newly renov, furn rooms for rent, $100-$125/wk, 215-397-6635

2xx W Sheldon St 3br Row home $750 spacious, fin bsmt, bkyard 267-345-3752

low cost cars & trucks

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

apartment marketplace


food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

50 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

CENTER CITY A R O U N D

T O W N

R E N T A L S

JUST WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR!!!

GREAT LOCATIONS…ASK ABOUT OUR CURRENT RENTALS! WITH OVER 50 YEARS IN THE REAL ESTATE BUSINESS, NO ONE KNOWS CENTER CITY BETTER THAN THE TEAM AT MICHAEL SINGER REAL ESTATE.

We manage a wide range of apartment homes in great neighborhoods including: RITTENHOUSE SQUARE, OLD CITY, FITLER SQUARE, AND WASHINGTON SQUARE WEST

M I C H A E L

If you are looking for a Philadelphia apartment in a GREAT LOCATION, call Michael Singer Real Estate, the company that offers you an unparalleled combination of knowledge, selection and service.

S I N G E R

R E A L

215-925-RENT

1117 Spruce St. • Philadlphia, PA 19107 rent@msreco.com

www.michaelsingerre.com

E S TAT E


the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

classifieds

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

COMING SPRING 2013

RESERVE ONLINE NOW AT THE-GRANARY.COM

52 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

CITY LIVING... NEIGHBORHOOD FEEL. With parking and retail located right in the building, it might be tempting to never leave your new home at The Granary. But, considering that some of your neighbors include Whole Foods, the Philadelphia Sports Club and The Barnes Museum, we suspect you’ll overcome that temptation. The Granary features 227 luxury apartments in one of the city’s most desirable neighborhoods. Just off the Ben Franklin Parkway, The Granary will offer: BUILDING FEATURES On-Site Underground Parking Luxury Lobby with Two Story Green Wall and Lounge 5,000 sq. ft. Club Room w/ Pool Table, Kitchen and Terrace 24/7 Doorman/Concierge WiFi Throughout Large Residents’ Lounge State-of-the-Art Fitness Center Pet Friendly Business Center with Conference Room

UNIT FEATURES 1 and 2 Bedrooms Available Granite Countertops w/Stainless Steel Appliances Central Heating and Air Hardwood Floors Walk-in Closets In-unit Washers and Dryers Balconies City Views

610 529 4444 20th and Callowhill Philadelphia PA 19130

PEARL-apartments.com


BUILDING FEATURES Private Lobby 24/7 Doorman Large Residents’ Lounge State-of-the-Art Fitness Center Rooftop Terrace with City Views

UNIT FEATURES Studio, 1 and 2 Bedrooms Available Granite Countertops w/Stainless Steel Appliances Central Heating and Air Large Closets Hardwood Floors

1605 Sansom Street Philadelphia PA 19103

THE-SANSOM.COM 610 529 4444

PEARL-apartments.com

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The Sansom, opening in Spring 2013, offers a unique combination of value, amenities and access. Located just 3 blocks from Rittenhouse Square, The Sansom will offer:

classifieds

BE AMONG THE FIRST TO RESERVE AN APARTMENT IN THE RITTENHOUSE NEIGHBORHOOD’S NEWEST ADDRESS – 1605 SANSOM

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

RESERVE COMING SPRING 2013 NOW


54 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | S E P T E M B E R 2 0 - S E P T E M B E R 2 6 , 2 0 1 2 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

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billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

SEPTEMBER 20 - SEPTEMBER 26, 2012 CALL 215-735-8444

Building Blocks to Total Fitness 12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. MCKFitness@yahoo.com

BROKEN LAVA LAMP???

Got a cloudy or generally useless lava lamp sitting in your basement or attic? We’ll buy it or fix it if we can! Shoot a text message with a picture of your broken lamp to (267) 934-4313. If we can fix it, we’ll do so for $15, if not, we’ll buy it for parts for $5! Please do not call until we have seen a picture of the lamp so we can qualify whether it is worth attempting to repair your lamp.

Theatre Exile’s The Edge of Our Bodies Extended Run Now Thru 9/30! Studio X 1340 S. 13th St. (13th & Reed) www.theatreexile.org I BUY RECORDS, CD’S, DVD’S TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everything! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

$2 OFF ALL DRAFTS $3 WELL DRINKS $5 HAPPY HOUR MENU Only at the Abbaye 637 N. 3rd Street (215) 627-6711 www.THEABBAYE.net

HAPPY HOUR AT THE DIVE FREE PIZZA! $2 BEER OF THE WEEK! $2 WELL DRINKS! IT’S AMAZING! PASSYUNK AVE (7th & CARPENTER) 215-465-5505 myspace.com/thedivebar

Meet Or Beat Any Price!

With ad or coupon Frankinstien Bike Worx 1529 Spruce St Phila Pa 19102 215-893-0415

NEW AT THE EL BAR!!!

17 Rotating Drafts Close to 200 Bottles

www.devilsdenphilly.com www.facebook.com/devilsdenphiladelphia www.twitter.com/devilsdenphilly

What’s at the BIZARRE BAZAAR?

KENSINGTON HAPPY MEAL! EVERY DAY UNTIL 7PM 2 ALL BEEF HOT DOGS A PBR POUNDER A BAG OF CHIPS AND A TOY ALL FOR $5

GET YOUR BALLS WET!

MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE GET A TATTOO!

HAPPY HOUR AT THE ABBAYE

All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 27 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.myphillyguitarlessons.com

WEEKDAYS 5-7PM

Fri (9/21) & Sat (9/22) at 7:30pm Sun (9/23) at 6 & 8pm At L’Etage Cabaret (6th & Bainbridge) www.thewaitstaff.com

PHILADELPHIA EDDIES 621 South 4th St. Tattoo Haven (MIDDLE of Tattoo Row) 215-922-7384 open 7 DAYS

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST David Joel Guitar Studio

½ PRICED DRAFTS

The Waitstaff Presents The Real Housewives of South Philly Play The Match Game!

DAYDREAMS IS PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THE SEXIEST BEER PONG LEAGUE IN PHILLY! STARTING IN OCTOBER TEAMS OF TWO GET FREE BEER, FREE ADMISSION, NIGHTLY PRIZES, AND THE CHANCE TO WIN THE GRAND PRIZE OF $1000, ALL WHILST SURROUNDED BY PHILLY’S HOTTEST ALL NUDE GIRLS! Go to www.daydreams.us or to facebook.com/daydreamsphilly to find out more!

WHAT’S ON DRAFT AT WATKIN’S DRINKERY?

FOUNDERS CENTENIAL IPA BRECKENRIDGE OATMEAL STOUDT ROY PITZ BELGIAN SOUR LONG TRAIL IMPERIAL PUMPKIN BROOKLYN OKTOBERFEST SOUTHAMPTON BELGIAN QUAD Corner of 10th & Watkins! 215-339-0175

Cool & Crazy Cultural Collectors’ Items, Fun & Freaky Finds, Vintage Values, PLUS: SOURPUSS & other accessories! Come in and say “HI� to our MUMMY, SEE the 2 Headed Turtle! 12-7 Thurs-Mon Bizarre Bazaar 720 south 5th st Philly

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, body-safe sexuality products, lubricants, male room, sex-ed classes, fetish gear, Aphrodite Gallery SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.sexploratoriumstore.com

7&3: (00% “..#&&3 -*45 )"4 (308/ 50 &1*$ 1301035*0/4 ,*5$)&/ )"4 "%%&% "/ &953" #&-- 8*5) 1&3)"14 5)& $*5:Âľ4 #&45 '3*5&4 40.& 45&--"3 #&&3 #"55&3&% '*4) "/% 7&3: (00% .644&-4Âł Craig LeBan, Philadelphia Inquirer, Revisited April 2007

(*'5 $&35*'*$"5&4 "7"*-"#-&

#%( 5:7EF@GF EF B:;>367>B:;3 $#' &#% #+#* D7E7DH3F;A@E 3F,

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