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Dec. 30, 2010 - Jan. 6, 2011 #1336 |

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contents Go Southwest, young man.

Naked City/Man Overboard! ...........................................6 Arts & Entertainment.........................................................16 The Agenda/DJ Nights .....................................................23 Food & Drink ...........................................................................34 COVER ILLUSTRATION BY JONATHAN BARTLETT DESIGN BY RESECA PESKIN


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naked

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the

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thOmaS Pitilli

amillionStorieS Head for the Bowl

W

hen 12 inches of puffy, compactible, play-worthy snow plop down from the sky, it’s hard for residents around baltimore ave. in West Philadelphia not to feel the sting: a huge swath of Clark Park, the crown jewel of the neighborhood, is shut down for renovations. a gate surrounds part “a” of the park, on 43rd Street between baltimore and chester avenues, and a giant yellow sign proudly stating “another milestone in Philadelphia’s Progress” sits where the entrance once was. On monday, the temptation to climb over the 7-foot-high fence must have been great, but as of about 6 p.m., no one had. not a single footprint dotted the pure-white snow inside. “It’s awful,” said a young woman in braids, walking by with her dog, adding, “They’ve cut down 34 trees. They’re putting in more pavement.” Indeed, the renovations — though aimed at providing better drainage, improved paths and more lighting — are the subject of no small controversy. The clark Park revitalization, which has been in the works for the last 10 years, has drawn criticism from various locals, including eco-artist aaron Birk, who wrote this September in an e-mail to City Paper and others, “clark Park is going to be clear-cut in the next day or so. There is now a chainlink construction fence preventing anyone from setting foot in the park,” adding, “Let me know if you’re interested in helping organize an emergency sit-in. i have a 50-watt megaphone.”

but according to the Friends of Clark Park, only 24 trees have been removed and that’s because they’re old, diseased or invasive. “These trees were selected for removal after consultation with arborists from the morris arboretum,” says Brian Siano, vice president of the Friends. “and preserving the tree canopy was one of the most important goals we had.” but both sides can at least agree on one thing: The park is missed. “It sucks that it’s closed,” lamented the girl with braids, when, suddenly, a deep voice yelped from the other side of the park — the still-open part “b,” known as the bowl for its concave shape — in a way that means only one thing: sledding. “I bet the bowl’s still poppin’, though,” she added.

They’ll kick you, he says.

—holly Otterbein

: Sherwood ForeSt as the winds picked up and the temperature dropped monday night, 52-year-old david brown descended into the city’s vast underground subway concourse and, armed with a pile of blankets, set up camp for the night. He wasn’t the only one: The concourse, known to cops and the homeless alike as Sherwood Forest for its maze of pillars and under-the-radar inhabitants, is the nightly place of respite for many of the city’s homeless (City Paper first wrote about the de facto homeless encampment in 2008 [cover Story, “notes From underground,” matt Stroud, June 12, 2008].) While the city’s shelters are, indeed, near capacity, brown’s deci-

sion to avoid them is his own. Like a lot of longtime-homeless folks — he’s been on the streets for 15 years — he avoids the city’s shelters whenever possible, preferring his freedom to the rules, restrictions and risks of the shelter system.

and despite a winter initiative to provide extra beds in the cold months, as well as an official citywide “code blue” alert that has outreach teams trolling the city in a special effort to offer shelter to the homeless, some, like brown, simply decline. That same night, says dainette mintz, director of the city’s Office of Supportive Housing, outreach workers made contact with 60 individuals, but wound up transporting only six to facilities offering temporary shelter. even so, 92 out of 110 spots at the city’s homeless “cafés” — bare-bones operations aimed at the chronically homeless who refuse to enter the formal shelter system — were occupied that night. In all, OSH-contracted facilities housed 2,710 people across the city on monday. The choice to go it alone comes, brown concedes, with its own perils — the latest among them, he says, being high school kids who’ve been coming through and >>> continued on adjacent page


the naked city

 A Million Stories <<< continued from previous page

abusing sleeping homeless people. “When they come off school, they’ll throw bottles at you, throw water on you, kick you,” brown says. “Last night they just kicked a guy, two young kids kicked a guy right in the head and threw a bottle at him. … now you got to sleep with one eye open and one eye closed.” but even beyond that threat, brown has a particularly strong aversion to shelters, he says, because of his health condition: He has aIdS, and that makes things more complicated still. To fight the disease, brown consumes a daily cocktail of drugs: “When I’m out here, I take it at the right time. ... When I go to the ridge shelter, they take my medication, and they give it you when they want to give it to you,” he explains. “and they tell the people in there that I’ve got full-blown aIdS. … Then guys think they can catch it just by sleeping by me or taking a shower behind me.” and so brown prefers to keep to himself. “They put you out at 7 o’clock in the morning, then I go in the Gallery or I walk around. … the hard thing is finding something to eat. Soup kitchens close at a certain time, and when you’re tired you just can’t always catch them.” —isaiah thompson

: Out in the cOld On a related note, Mayor Michael nutter was paid a surprise visit last week by activists with the aIdS advocacy group aCt UP Philadelphia, who showed up at the mayor’s house on dec. 22 to give His Honor a hearty, if unconventional, caroling.

“We wish you would fund aIdS housing (3x), so we won’t get sick,” went one verse. acT uP is known for adding dramatic flare to its actions — but the group is deadly serious about its mission to advocate for people with aIdS, and has taken an increasingly aggressive stand on the issue of homeless people with aIdS in particular over the last year. according to a recent report by acT uP, the number of people on a city-managed waiting list for aIdS-specific housing assistance is growing. and while the shelter system itself may have capacity, advocates agree with david brown that shelters are not good places for people with aidS. eight people with HIV, meanwhile, died in the streets or in the shelter system in the past 18 months. “Had they been housed, and had a place to take medication,” says acT uP member Jose demarco, “they wouldn’t be dead.” In november, acT uP joined other advocates and students to stage a “die in” in front of city Hall as part of their campaign to persuade nutter to set aside $2 million to $4 million — no small sum — for permanent housing for people with aIdS. The mayor did, in fact, meet with the group, but, demarco says, made no promises. mayoral spokesman mark mcdonald tells cP, “We’ve barely begun the budget process. … It’s a long way from being able to say what will happen. “It’s their job to argue for what they believe in,” he adds. “but the mayor has huge competing interests to balance.” The group intends to ramp up pressure in anticipation of the mayor’s proposed budget, in which they still hope to see the funds. “comcast gets big tax breaks,” says demarco. “How about giving —i.t. human beings a break?”

thebellcurve CP’s Quality-o-Life-o-Meter

[0]

Outgoing Gov. Ed Rendell gives Gov.-elect Tom Corbett thousands of pages of files on his new job. “It’s mostly drawings of hoagies with boobs,” sighs Corbett.

[ - 1]

A proposed School District plan would give Superintendent Arlene Ackerman more control in hiring contractors. And a Death Star.

[ + 2] An ex-addict throws a sober New Year’s Eve party. “This will be the best party in recent memory,” he says. “I used to black out a lot.”

[ - 4]

Ex-District Attorney Lynne Abraham’s office kept a list of cops who weren’t allowed to testify in court because they were untrustworthy. Would have saved paper if she’d listed the ones who could.

[0]

Arraignment court is open on Christmas. Since then, however, Asnowment court has been in session.

[0]

A state study advocates downsizing the Philadelphia Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped. Or removing the moat.

photostream ➤ submit at citypaper.net/photostream

ipalities consider banning discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity. “Hey great, thanks, right on time,” says the ghost of Andrew Beckett.

[ + 2] Local Marines gather 90,000 toys for charity. Then call them maggots and break them.

[ + 4] A Kevlar helmet and vest might have saved two Philly cops who were shot. As might have stricter gun laws, but hey, we didn’t get our pony for Christmas either.

FliCkr USer CtdSlr, dnewb.blogSPot.CoM/ MiChael Penn

[ - 1]

A state legislator says he will try again in 2011 for a law banning synthetic marijuana. Also wants to outlaw soy cheese, non-alcoholic beer and charades. “Buncha phonies,” he cries.

[0]

The Eighth District, represented by Donna Reed Miller, is poised for a tough City Council race next year. “But I thought our fiefdoms were guaranteed in the city charter.”

[ + 3] The city puts a 30-day hold on foreclosure sheriff’s sales. It’s A Wonderful Month!

This week’s total: 10 | Last week’s total: 1

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[ + 5] Eighteen Pennsylvania counties and munic-

(L-R) Day 17, 365, Philadelphia 118.

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manoverboard! By Isaiah Thompson

The Year in infamY ➤ If there’s one thIng the lull in between christmas and new

year’s is good for, it’s hot toddies. If there’s two, it’s hot toddies and end-of-the-year lists! So grab the former and enjoy the latter, man Overboard!’s roughly chronological list of the year’s skeeziest. January: The state legislature passes a massive overnight bill that legalizes table games in Pennsylvania casinos — oh, and grants them and their lobbyists a few dozen other favors, among them the power to extend credit to table games and slots players. February: The Philadelphia School district releases a report blaming an attack on a group of asian students at South Philly High on “gang related” violence, rather than racial targeting, as the kids claimed, based on an unsubstantiated allegation by a school official about Hao Luu, a Vietnamese student who was himself jumped the day before the infamous attack. The district has since retracted that claim; Lu now attends a private school. early March: casino mogul Steve Wynn announces he’s taking over the flailing Foxwoods casino project, telling investors in a phone conference that he’s really, really excited about “the proximity [of Foxwoods] to the Vietnamese neighborhood” — confirming fears of casino predation among asian-american activists who vehemently opposed a proposed relocation to chinatown. He later backs out. late March: Philadelphia government takes on the powers that be and … gets a whooping when mayor michael nutter proposes a tax on sweetened beverages. big beverage lobbyists storm in with

MASSAGE

YOGA

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“Come Find Peace In Calm”

dubious claims about job losses if the tax passes — which it doesn’t. May: despite warnings from department of conservation and natural resources officials, Gov. ed rendell authorizes the most recent in a series of leases of state forest land for gas drilling. Later, after his proposed tax on gas production is defeated, the governor signs an executive order banning more leasing of state forest, which incoming Gov. Tom corbett immediately pledges to overturn. meanwhile, Philadelphia city council is in a jam: They’ve rejected the mayor’s sweetened beverage tax, but can’t seem to balance the budget themselves. a 12 percent hike in the property tax would do it, but … 12 just seems so big: So they propose, in true dollar-store fashion, a 9.9 percent hike instead, leaving a $20 million hole. July/august: Scandal! The Inquirer reveals that plans for a new family court building involve a massive conflict of interests involving Supreme court chief Justice ronald d. castille, who, it will later turn out, has also received thousands of dollars worth of gifts and favors from law firms that come before him, as well. Police commissioner charles ramsey, meanwhile, pledges to root out police corruption after a Pulitzer Prize-winning series by the Daily News on police officers (allegedly) systematically robbing bodegas. and after a sting nabbing three officers selling heroin. and the robbery of a bar by an on-duty officer. and the federal indictment of a prominent police inspector for allegedly paying someone to extract money from a private debtor. What else? The Philadelphia Housing authority, according to an ongoing series by the Inquirer, was riddled with sexual harassment allegations, and a culture of “fiefdom and abuse” under former PHa head carl Greene. november: attorney General Tom corbett wins in his bid for

The Chinese are kicking our butt!

REIKI

[ the naked city ]

governor using vast amounts of money from the marcellus Shale gas drilling industry. upon winning, he appoints a gas industry magnate to the head of his transition team; maintains his firm opposition to imposing a tax on what is potentially the most lucrative new industry in Pa.; and calls department of environmental Protection secretary John Hanger, who demands that corbett show his commitment to environmental regulations, a “sore loser.” december: The winter of our discontent. The media, apparently bored, or cold, or something, spends a week roasting nutter over his decision to support changing the “christmas Village” to a “Holiday Village.” Then, a big snow storm hits and the nFL, eagles and the city agree to postpone a game for two days, prompting barely-Gov. ed rendell to comment that: “The chinese are kicking our butt in everything. If this was in china do you think the chinese would have called off the game?” a Happy new year from mO! and the crew!  Isaiah Thompson would never call off a football

game. He would also never call for a football game. E-mail him at isaiah.thompson@citypaper.net.

DO IT

TODAY

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The Light Research Laboratory at Thomas Jefferson University is looking for healthy men, ages 31-53, able to maintain stable 8-hour sleep schedules and to spend 3 days in our lab studying the effects of light on the body. Must also be under 6-feet tall.

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Healthy Volunteers Needed for Light Study

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CAN A 15-ACR PHILLY — ANDE REFRIGERATOR SAVE SO U REVOLUTION IZE THE WAY WTHWEST E EAT?

can say this because I grew up there: Southwest Philly is a mess. When Philadelphians think of the area west of the Schuylkill and south of Grays Ferry — if they think of it at all — it’s because they’re cutting through it on the way to the airport. SWP is the home of the auto mall and junk yards. It’s where you can hit any number of sleazy strip clubs and never, ever be found out. Businesses are shuttered along shopping corridors like Woodland Avenue, and the ones left open aren’t particularly welcoming. Police blotters are filled with petty crimes. With less than 1 percent of the area covered by trees, you get no shade from the heat that blasts the tiny rowhomes lining most blocks. In the summer, the lack of oxygen is palpable. The expanse of land owned and operated by oil refineries here is long, desolate and gray. It doesn’t help that those refineries sit across from a bolt of property known as Jerry’s Corner, where The Pleasure Garden swingers club, Charlie’s Dream 24-hour porn shop and the C-level stripper haven Purple Orchid reside on a devil’s triangle of lust and disgust. When you look up and see the there-forever Boys & Girls Club billboard with a young Denzel Washington that reads “Be Inspired,” all you can think to yourself is, “How?” This might be the last place you’d expect to find a revolution in fresh green anything. But for developer and prodigal son Brian O’Neill, a graduate of

Our Lady of Lourdes school at 63rd and Lancaster, and Sonny DiCrecchio, executive director of the Philadelphia Regional Produce Market — the longoutgrown South Philly distribution center where large-scale operations like grocery stores and restaurant suppliers get their goods — Southwest is perfect. “There’s no place left within city limits with this sort of land mass,” says O’Neill. In just a few weeks, many in the region will see the fruit of their labors: the Philadelphia Wholesale Produce Market (PWPM), a years-in-construction, decade-in-the-works, state-of-the-art wholesale produce distribution center that will be, depending on how you measure it, the biggest or second biggest in the country (along with New York’s Hunts Point). “I’m very familiar with this area,” says O’Neill with a Cheshire Cat grin as his glasses slip to the tip of his nose. Though his real estate investment and development company is headquartered in King of Prussia, O’Neill Properties buys, recycles and renovates lots of abandoned lots: surplus brownfield, industrial and military real estate all over the country. Ask him how his home area has changed for the worse, and he demurs. “It doesn’t disturb me. I see a change for the better. And it’s going to get better what with the proximity to I-95 and the airport. For what Sonny wants, this is perfect.” N“ALL THE BEST. ALL RIGHT HERE,” reads a sign at 6700 Essington Ave. It’s cold but not yet wintry

when I first hit the still-in-construction PWPM. On opening day, the $200 million facility — DiCrecchio calls it the “world’s largest refrigerator” — will be 700,000 square feet on nearly 48 acres with another 15-plus-acre staging lot at 61st Street. Now, all you can see from the highway are rows of blank gray garage doors and the trucks of building suppliers. It’s been more or less like this since October 2008 when O’Neill Properties broke ground on the new facility, after its former occupants — five junk and scrap yards — got cleaned up by the Essington Avenue Partners II (an O’Neill Properties affiliate) and the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Protection removed scrap metal and a reported 400,000 tires. In a trailer near the emerging superstructure hangs a photo rendering of the facility done in 2008. One worker, observing me scribbling, looks at it. “Very accurate, isn’t it?” he smirks. “Look how blue the sky is and how appealing the workers all look.” That’s when Nick Peetros, senior project manager, grabs me for a tour. The Delaware County native shuffles between pallet jacks to point out ramps and covered shelters that run the length of the market for smaller trade customers and restaurants whose trucks can’t actually reach the docking station. “Basically the entire periphery of the building is for loading and unloading,” he says before leading me inside to the center concourse where buyers will walk and look at product from 26 vendors,


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ing, which includes $152.5 million from the state of Pennsylvania that Rendell and Fumo pulled together, a $50 million loan from American International Group Inc. (AIG), an $11 million low-interest loan from the Pennsylvania Infrastructure Investment Authority (PENNVEST), a $3 million grant from the federal Department of Housing and Urban Development, and $1 million per year for 10 years from the Pennsylvania Department of Community and Economic Development. The Philadelphia Regional Port Authority is the landlord on the property, with the market vendors repaying 100 percent of the grants and loans over the life of the 40-year lease. After 40 years, the market can buy the property. “For $1,” says O’Neill. Not that anything gets done quite that easily. The Eastwick Project Area Committee (EPAC) had

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photo by Neal Santos

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parcel of land that he wanted to unload. “He didn’t know what to do with it,” smiles O’Neill, who did what he does: He bought that property as well as most of the rest of the block for “tens of millions of dollars, a great deal.” While he won’t comment on what else in the area he’s buying, all O’Neill can say is that he is buying. He’d bought 40 acres, close to the amount DiCrecchio was looking for when the Navy Yard fell through for the second time. O’Neill went to Rendell and then-state Sen. Vince Fumo and said he could build the new market for less than it had been value engineered at — $218 million instead of $260 million. A deal was struck. The Port Authority of Philadelphia purchased O’Neill’s 40 acres and 23 nearby acres that the Philadelphia Industrial Development Corp. owned at the start of the project in 2008. The deal became a mix of private and public financ-

issues with possible traffic jam-ups. But the combination of a food distribution center grossing $1.5 billion annually, the removal of all that refuse and the possibility of jobs won out. (EPAC’s longtime president, Elvira Rosalinda Stewart, passed in June 2010, and the committee’s phones have since been disconnected.) As a result, PWPM is shooting to be fully operational by the end of January rather than the recent Dec. 15 target. “The neighborhood committee may have been wary at first, but once we added traffic lights and turning lanes designed to ease the flow coming in and out of 67th and Essington, they saw the benefits,” says Peetros. “It’s a rough neighborhood. Between the junk yards and the strip clubs, it ain’t the Main Line. But it’s not the worst neighborhood I’ve built in. Any place where it’s not just for locals dumping trash is a good thing.” (a_amorosi@citypaper.net)

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NTHIS MASSIVE PROJECT — currently employing more than 1,500 people, and expected to create a multitude of new jobs and employers, including some from Southwest Philly — had the most clichéd of beginnings. “One day I just started drawing out plans on a napkin,” says Sonny DiCrecchio. After running his own refrigeration business for 25 years, DiCrecchio took over as the Galloway Street market’s executive director in 2000. A year later, he started dreaming up plans for a more modern facility. After realizing that retrofitting Galloway could cost upward of $90 million — and leave its existing merchants and vendors high and dry during the process — it became obvious that a new facility was the answer. Easier said than done. There had long been talk of getting aid from the city and the state. In the 1990s, even as recently as 2004, New Jersey cities such as Camden and Gloucester just across the river had been offered as alternative sites, but loyalty to Pennsylvania was key to the market’s stockholders. DiCrecchio recalls the back-and-forth of locations and money worries as an equal mix of comedy and drama. There was the Navy Yard, where Gov. Ed Rendell announced some 70 acres would be made

available in 2005, and again in 2007. In between, Pier 98 at Oregon Avenue and Columbus Boulevard was proposed, too. “We had a ground-breaking [at the Navy Yard] and everything, but suddenly it got too expensive, according to the governor,” says DiCrecchio, recalling the day he heard the news. He’d gone sailing with his daughter in Florida — “my only day off in years” — only to be interrupted by a call informing him that Rendell was on television calling off the deal. “I was so pissed off, I threw my laptop, a blue one, in the lagoon. Two days later, I’m on one of those little boats in the lagoon — BOOM. The boat stopped. I got knocked out when my boat hit … my blue laptop. I couldn’t win for losing.” Starting over seemed unlikely until O’Neill — who had heard about the project from one friend and the Essington Avenue land mass from another — entered the picture. In 2004, an associate of O’Neill’s had a

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purchase it and have it delivered to their trucks. Getting it all done in one place is important. PWPM (pwpm.net), with its enclosed 224 loading docks and 127 spaces at its nearby staging lot, will be nearly twice the size of that 350,000-squarefoot, 150-dock facility near the sports complex on South Galloway Street. And it makes possible PWPM’s treasured first: It will be a 100 percent refrigerated facility — the entire building — designed to prevent breaking the cold chain from truck to loading docks to cold storage at the distribution center. The building is constructed of steel, concrete and insulated metal panels 5 inches thick for energy efficiency and refrigeration. The Galloway Street facility had become too small to accommodate all that loading and unloading, sometimes leaving produce to sit on loading docks in wait. That’s the problem with open-air terminal markets, the industry standard at locations such as Baltimore’s Jessup Market and Hunts Point: You break the cold chain as soon as you pull up to the dock. “We had to get up to the times. Food safety was becoming an issue as we found out that rising temperatures were causing food-borne illnesses — to say nothing of the shrinkage. You cut days off the shelf life of most produce just by leaving it in a box on the side in 80- to 99-degree heat.” Here, 26 vendors will utilize 33 units. One unit, they say, will be used as a test kitchen; another is intended for use in a cooking show. (Unlike the Galloway site, the public will be very much welcome here.) Three large vessels hold refrigerant in different stages of the liquid-to-vapor cycle and several compressors circulate throughout the building, with all content areas kept at 50 degrees — all controlled via the Internet. “I’ve worked on difficult projects, but this is the only property I’ve ever had with a brain, a personality and changeable limbs,” says O’Neill.

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artsmusicmoviesmayhem

icepack By A.D. Amorosi

➤ My three new year’s resolutions? To start

smoking again. To vote “yes” rather than CasiNO when asked because, man, I really hate that my South Philly ain’t getting a Foxwoods. And to kill animals — a bag of sweet kittens, perhaps — then say I’m sorry and get a great job without worrying about remorse or consequence. Worked in 2010. ➤ I’ll call this a rumor because it ain’t yet fact: It looks as if Four Corners maestro Avram Hornik is thisclose to signing a deal to turn Spaghetti Warehouse on 10th and Spring Garden (closed as of 14 days ago) into a live music venue/bar with food. Hornik fans’ll remember that he tried buying the boarded-up Global Thrift on Front and Girard (once the legendary Jumbo Theater) in 2008 but was thwarted by KensFishington associations because they didn’t want noise (the El is pretty quiet!) and hated that Hornik dissed Old City for being too loud (as he was part of making it so) during town meetings. So now it’ll be a pasta ballroom blitz sandwiched between Polaris and Electric Factory. Oompah. Hornik’s Drinker’s at 19th and Chestnut also has an orange sticker on its upstairs window — is he looking to expand? ➤ Excited to hear the 11 new tracks the reunited Dead Milkmen recorded at South Street Sounds Studio (with newest member Dandrew, supposedly called that since no one knows his name); doubly excited to hear SSSStudio owner/Milkmen producer Jeffrey W.’s new reggae/oddball jazz ensemble South Street Sounds. So to the Troc’s Balcony I’ll head Jan. 5 to catch up with that, Josh Winer’s equally reggae-riffic Cultureal and saxophonist David Fishkin’s postWest Philadelphia Orchestra ensemble. ➤ While I was standing in line at DiBruno’s and finding out about its new Ardmore cheeserie (see citypaper. net/mealticket), I heard that Peter McAndrews will relocate Paesano’s to the South Ninth location that once was Bebe’s Barbecue and open his new Sicilian spot, Monsù, at the current Paesano’s corner of Ninth and Christian, all around the second/ third week of Jan’ry. That’s about the same time Pat Cancelliere’s long-awaited Italian-Argentine 943 will open on that Italian Market block. Atza nize. ➤ Regis Philbin will be on break Jan. 24-28, and Live with Regis and Kelly will utilize radio hosts to co-host with Kelly Ripa. Some Philly finalists you can vote in include WYSP’s Danny Bonaduce, WMMR’s Preston Elliot, Q102’s Elvis Duran or the douche who still goes out with Alicia Lane, ex-Q guy Chris Booker, now in L.A. ➤ Remember last week Ice mentioned the rush to get Speck, the solo restaurant from chef Shola Olunloyo, open in the Piazza at Schmidts by December’s end? Not gonna happen for at least several weeks. ➤ More ice at citypaper.net/criticalmass. (amorosi@citypaper.net)

OPPOSITES ATTRACT: Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (left) and Dogtooth made our critics’ picks for best films of the year. KiCK the MaChine/VerVe

[ flick crit picks ]

Top 21 Movies of 2010 ➤ 12th & Delaware

rachel Grady and Heidi ewing train their cameras on two establishments located across the street from each other in Fort Pierce, Fla.: the pro-life Pregnancy care center and the abortion clinic someone calls the “competition,” a Woman’s World. everyone has a story and no one feels easy, as clients, counselors and providers all make hard choices each day. as doctors feel threatened by protesters, young women are regularly traumatized. —Cindy Fuchs ➤ Carlos More on: Olivier assayas’ biopic of ’70s terrorist carlos the Jackal is epic in length — five-plus hours — but breathlessly compelling, infused with rich detail and precise character study. Its subject is a narcissist and sociopath even as he sees himself as an idealistic freedom fighter. Édgar ramírez lends the title role an intense physicality, but assayas surrounds him with a geopolitical history depicted through players whose self-interest takes on a global scale. —Shaun Brady

citypaper.net

➤ Catfish

critics be damned: This is the year’s best Facebook movie. The Social Network leaves enough space for viewers to read their own

insights into it, but Henry Joost and ariel Schulman’s doc actually does the work, exploring just how the explosion in online interaction is redefining what it means to be someone’s “friend.” —Sam Adams ➤ CertifieD Copy

beginning with a lecture arguing for the validity of imitation in art, abbas Kiarastomi’s playfully profound examination of life and aesthetics, marriage and art focuses on two characters whose relationship is constantly redefining itself. The great Iranian director thus creates an ever-renewing present informed by pasts real or invented — and ultimately, what’s the difference? —S.B. ➤ Dogtooth

read it as a political allegory, an essay on the dark side of helicopter parenting or simply a modern-day horror story, it’s the most unsettling movie of the year, for the captive children’s boneless posture alone. —S.A.

Our critics name 2010’s best jazz, classical, rOOts and dance/ electrOnic music.

➤ enter the VoiD

Overlong, excessive, indulgent, bordering on ridiculous — Gaspar noé’s first-person account of a murdered junkie’s Tibetan-inspired afterlife travels is all of these, and they may not even be its bad points. Enter the Void is a gritty, hallucinogenic head trip whose sentimentality is as extreme as its provocations, and seizes the potential of image-making as an act of visual assault. —S.B. >>> continued on adjacent page


the naked city | feature

[ dressed up in hoodies and flip-flops ] ➤ Exit through thE gift Shop

real or fake? Wrong question, or rather, wrong answer. The first feature from street-art provocateur banksy introduces us to — or, if you like, creates — his doppelganger, Thierry Guetta, a fannish disciple turned pretender to the throne. Those who assume it’s all a put-on underestimate how credulous the art world can be. —S.A. ➤ four LionS

destined, or doomed, to be a cult classic, chris morris’ bittersweet satire straps an Ied to the war on terror’s sacred cows — or is it sheep? Winning fans on both sides of the aisle, the film skewers the blinkered lunacy of Islamic extremists, then mourns the West’s inability to outsmart idiots. —S.A. ➤ i Am LovE

Gloriously overwrought and overwhelmingly sensual, Luca Guadagnino’s splendid pageant takes chances that shouldn’t pay off — but do. —S.A. ➤ LASt trAin homE

Planning their holiday journey home, factory workers chen Suqin and Zhang changhua are hardly happy. When they left their village 16 years ago, they left their children with their own parents. now their daughter Qin, 17, is resentful, and the parents’ sacrifices seem for naught. Lixin Fan’s remarkable film reveals the pain of all parties, as well as the complexities of so many different truths. —C.F. ➤ mothEr

➤ thE oAth

➤ thE SociAL nEtwork

Written with the velocity and snap of a screwball comedy and directed with the urgency of a psychological thriller, aaron Sorkin and david Fincher’s account of the founding of Facebook unfolds with the immediacy of modern communication. yet there’s also something classic in its turns of betrayal and power, even dressed up in hoodies and flip-flops. —S.B.

Enter the Void seizes its potential.

➤ thE yEAr in puBLiShing and the year in

➤ SpLicE

changing shape as seamlessly as the lab-spawned offspring of scientists Sarah Polley and adrien brody, Vincenzo natali’s hybrid sticks every landing. —S.A. ➤ SwEEtgrASS

➤ thE tiLLmAn Story

amir bar-Lev’s documentary, about the nFL star-turned-soldier whose death at the hands of gung-ho comrades was turned into a Pr charade, will enrage you to your core, and serves as an object lesson in the difference between “supporting the troops” and respecting them. —S.A. ➤ uncLE BoonmEE who cAn rEcALL hiS pASt LivES

The fantastic and the mundane share a table in this Thai film. The title character’s slowly impending death from kidney failure opens a passageway between living and dead. but that’s already too concrete a description of a film that is more concerned with the sensuous tinge of memory than with anything resembling narrative. —S.B. ➤ wAr Don Don Splice

Best in Books

Laura Poitras’ extraordinary film begins as a portrait of former jihadist abu Jandal, currently driving a cab in yemen, parenting his young son and looking back on the fate of his brother-in-law, detained at Guantánamo until the Supreme court ruled against the bush administration. It turns into a series of reflections on documentary truths, subjects and performances. brilliant and subtle, it’s the year’s best feature film. —C.F.

Who knew sheep would be so fascinating or so beautiful? Tracking a herd through montana mountains, over three months and covering 150 miles, this superb film is part parable, part poetry, observing daily labor and attending to emotional details. as the herders ponder their lots, the sheep keep moving. —C.F.

Mother

shelflife Justin Bauer, under the covers

Taking the Special court for Sierra Leone’s war crimes trial of Issa

>>> continued on page 18

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>>> continued on page 18

reading are two different things. It’s no trouble to map out the former, bookended on one side by Stieg Larsson’s last novel, which claimed the best-selling hardcover fiction slot, and on the other by the Time magazine cover anointing Jonathan Franzen as his generation’s Great American Novelist. The year in reading, on the other hand, is a much more private affair, insulated from sales figures and publicity campaigns, dictated instead by what a writer does and how that works on an individual audience. It draws on a restricted economy of time and attention, where every choice represents a trade-off. Even as a critic, the hundred-odd novels I read this year meant picking up, with high expectations, David Mitchell’s disappointing Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet instead of a half-dozen other books with lower expectations and maybe higher payoffs. Here are 10 novels — and moments in them — that pay off impressively: Even if Justin Cronin’s The Passage (Ballantine, June 8) staggers because of its genre and length — that’s close to 800 pages of zombie vampire apocalypse — the clean and lucid attention paid to details and incidentals, like the early scene where an inmate confides that he “had been a Christian man himself from time to time” to the born-again husband of a victim, displays a technique able to bear that weight. The opening chapter — the opening lines, even — of Joe Hill’s Horns (Morrow, Feb. 16) gives a

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Kim Hye-ja walks the line between maternal devotion and simple

obsession in the story of a mother who will go to any length to clear her mentally challenged son of a murder charge. bong Joon-ho never makes the same movie twice, but each feels like the product of years of preparation. —S.A.

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 Top 21 Movies of 2010


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 Top 21 Movies of 2010

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An anarchic passion or a stalkerish prelude to violence. Sesay as a point of departure, Rebecca Richman Cohen’s doc considers not only legal mechanisms, but also how the law is refracted in media. Literally, the film shows multiple screens and monitors, the various ways Sesay is portrayed by accusers and defenders. Metaphorically, it looks at the relative meanings of morality, the effects of politics and poverty on judgments and expectations. —C.F.

through the distortions of a lovesick man, a fanciful cinephile — or both. His obsessive romance is thus either an anarchic passion or a stalkerish prelude to violence. The kinked narrative seems to follow a wholly interior (il)logic, amplifying tangents and finally abandoning its characters for a self-immolating final swerve. —S.B.

➤ White Material

➤ Winter’s Bone

Set in an unnamed African nation devolving into chaos, Claire Denis’ film captures the sense of confusion and constricted vision inherent in rapidly changing conditions. Isabelle Huppert plays a French coffee plantation owner whose refusal to acknowledge the dire state of her surroundings extends from the cultural to the familial. Told with elliptical concision, White Material suggests that those seemingly closest to us can become as unknowable as true strangers. —S.B.

Debra Granik’s meditation on family is somber, witty and strangely hopeful. Traipsing through her far-flung Ozarks community, a 17-year-old girl discovers her missing father’s past has left his kin deeply in debt and at risk. As adults abandon her, she’s determined to keep the cabin where she lives with her siblings and incapacitated mother, so she solves a series of grim, neo-noir mysteries. And she survives. —C.F.

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➤ Wild Grass

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[ arts & entertainment ]

<<< continued from page 17

hey smartypants, you think you’re sooooo smart, don’t you?

CheCk out Citypaper.net/quizzo for all your quizzo needs

Alain Resnais’ latest indulges the octogenarian director’s penchants for obliqueness and whimsy

 Best in Books

<<< continued from page 17

James Hynes’ house party set to Sticky Fingers explains the Rolling Stones better than Keith Richards. lesson in how to pull off outlandish high-concept. Hill presents the unbelievable as entirely natural, and he reveals his details slowly: “His belief was not required; his disbelief was of no consequence. The horns were always there when he reached up to touch them.” James Hynes may have pulled off an almost-unfair surprise ending in Next (Little Brown, March 9), but his rendition of a college house party set to Sticky Fingers explains Rolling Stones songs much better than anything in Keith Richards’ Life. The first shift in voice that Nicole Krauss makes in Great House (Norton, Oct. 5) — made up of four novellas, each cut in half and laced together — is disorienting and complete, as she goes from a natural voice (American, female, urban) to a wholly new one just as convincingly. The chapter that follows the first shocking discovery, in China Miéville’s Kraken (Ballantine, June 29), begins with: “The police arrived at last, coming in a stampy gang.” That perfect adjective gets followed in the next sentence by “benthic,” and a few lines on, there’s a rubbishy wind and a klaggy squirrel. If Miéville’s plotting isn’t as apposite as his diction, it’s close. The intentional lack of tension, the stretched-out moments of waiting and boredom in Emily St. John Mandel’s The Singer’s

Gun (Unbridled, May 4), excellently upends its thriller plot, making a book nominally about a gun into something capacious and sun-baked. The amount of pathos and surprise Paul Murray crams into the space between the death scene that opens Skippy Dies (Faber & Faber, Aug. 31) and its repetition is impressive, but doesn’t nearly match the heartbreaking scene between Skippy’s crush and his podgy roommate, both looking for answers following that death. Julie Orringer’s complete surrender to the sweep and the heightened emotions of old-fashioned historical romance made The Invisible Bridge (Knopf, May 4) a perfect example of why clichés and old fashions still work. John Reimringer’s thumbnail father-son tour of the bars of St. Paul, glimpsed through a car window, exemplifies the lived-in sense of place, rooted and unshowy, that his novel Vestments (Milkweed, Sept. 7) and Milkweed Press are both so very good at. And, in a similar way, Dennis Tafoya’s junkie’s-eye view of Philadelphia in The Wolves of Fairmount Park (Minotaur, June 22) features the city as an immersive element of the story, seeping through and dyeing everything, making his novel inextricable from its hometown setting. (j_bauer@citypaper.net)


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devout outdoorsman/loner aron ralston (James Franco) finds the sticky end of solitude when heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s trapped at the bottom of a ravine, his right arm pinned by a boulder. Like a steroidal Into the Wild, the movie follows aron to the logical end of his lone-wolf lifestyle, leaving him with nothing but his wits and the contents of his backpack. It may take a while to recover from the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s stomachturning climax, but thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s only because danny boyle succeeds so thoroughly in getting under your skin. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Sam Adams (Ritz Five)

All good tHings|Aandrew Jareckiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shrewd reimagining of the true crimes involving robert durst and the 1982 disappearance of his wife is disturbing, but Jareckiâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s assured presentation makes this film electrifyingly stunning. In 1972, david marks (ryan Gosling, as durst) meets and marries Katie (Kirsten dunst); their domestic bliss is short-lived when david starts acting out in increasingly weird and violent ways. after Katie disappears, and david goes into â&#x20AC;&#x153;hiding,â&#x20AC;? his behavior gets downright peculiar. Jarecki coaxes an amazing performance out of dunst; Gosling, in another intense performance, rises to the challenge of making david both oddly sympathetic and despicable. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Gary M. Kramer (Ritz at the Bourse) BlACk swAn|Aalthough itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s set in the world of ballet, darren aronofskyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s movie hits a pitch that would normally be called operatic. natalie Portman is provisionally cast in her first lead, but

she needs to prove she can dance both white and black swan in Swan Lake. Portman nails the glacial perfection of the first, but it takes bad girl mila Kunis to get her in touch with her dark side. as Portmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s transformation progresses, aronofsky makes over her body, as well; she decomposes and renews in a manner worthy of a cronenberg heroine. The trouble is, Portmanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s role too closely matches her own limitations. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz East)

tHe CHroniCles of nArniA: tHe VoyAge of tHe dAwn treAder|B The Voyage of the Dawn Treader sets our puberty-stricken heroes out on the water, an auspicious setting that ensures any dull moment can be broken up by fanciful distraction. back in narnia, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re picked up by the suddenly bearded Prince caspian (ben barnes), on a marine mission to see some lords about some magical swords and so forth. Family-friendly action sequences mostly make up for the movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s shortcomings, which include ham-handed life lessons and a few forehead-slapping â&#x20AC;&#x153;reminder: The lion is actually Jesus!â&#x20AC;? moments. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Drew Lazor (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

tHe figHter|B+ While the true story of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Irishâ&#x20AC;? micky Ward (mark Wahlberg) has all the makings of a Rocky-style â&#x20AC;&#x153;triumph of the human spirit,â&#x20AC;? david O. russell finds plenty of fodder for his more caustic imaginings in Wardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s family. The most monumental obstacles Ward confronts come out of being born into a large massachusetts clan seemingly intent on undercutting any chance of success in the name of a delusional family honor. russell at times succumbs to a penchant for cheap caricature, never deciding between black comedy or hardscrabble drama. but he wisely keeps


This story, of a Texas con artist whose schemes were fueled by his love for his cellmate, has roots in fact, but

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liTTle FocKers|D+ Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not much to say about Little Fockers that you couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t guess from the title. but if a Fockered-up Home Alone is what youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re after this holiday season, think again: The kids in this film seriesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; third (and hopefully last) installment have no purpose except to recite lisped one-liners and projectile vomit on ben Stiller. most worrisome is that such an all-star cast would collectively, or individually, agree to participate in such nonsense. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;C.H. (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

THe KinGâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sPeecH|B+ as the soon-to-be George VI, colin Firth is a reluctant royal with a stutter that acts up around his domineering father. It grows bad enough

odds not only with the company, but also with the u.K.â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s male-dominated unions. against these considerable odds, their real-life protest against sexual discrimination â&#x20AC;&#x201D; on which nigel coleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film is based â&#x20AC;&#x201D; paved the way for the equal Pay act of 1970. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;C.F. (Ritz at the Bourse)

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GUIDE

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charles Fergusonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s new doc provides a remarkably coherent, galling analysis of the recent financial crisis, focusing on the lack of consequences for those who caused it. as interviewees respond to off-screen queries, the drama comes in watching them think through their answers, using their expertise to explain or obfuscate. The film insists on the culpability of individuals; that they are not suffering consequences is a problem Ferguson refuses to let alone. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Cindy Fuchs (Ritz Five)

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coasts glibly on shiny visuals and movie-star charm. Jim carrey plays Steven russell, and ewan mcGregor is his prison romance. Once the two meet, the film finds its footing as a lovesick farce. mcGregor is released, carrey breaks out and tracks him down, gets caught, in between passing himself off as anything likely to generate fast income and few questions. carreyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s low-key performance is commendably camp-free, but without shtick to fall back on, he canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t get his hooks in. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

Female workers for Ford in dagenham, england, circa 1968, perform whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s been recently termed â&#x20AC;&#x153;unskilledâ&#x20AC;? labor, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re convinced that as a group, they can make demands of the auto giant, including equal pay. This means theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re at

MeGaMind|C+ Will Ferrell voices a misshapen villain with brightly hued skin who discovers itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s more fulfilling to be a hero. Sound familiar? The movieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s built around the same old lazy pop-culture riffs and classic-rock music cues. Ferrellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s done far more interesting voice work in live-action films than he has here, and brad Pitt phones it in as megamindâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heroic opposite. but Tina Fey puts her back into it as

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For a movie about a woman whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lost her career and a man whoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s being

  

Made in daGenHaM|B-

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has hidden to ensure he never really dies. Harry and his besties traverse landscapes magical and muggle alike, wearing oversize sweaters, sulking and bickering about which direction theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re going. Luckily, david yates orchestrates a slew of exhilarating sequences that remind us why J.K. rowlingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s universe is so compelling. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;D.L. (Roxy, UA Riverview)

  

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This is less a battle of sparkly-wand wits and more an effete college roadtrip movie. a fuming Harry (daniel radcliffe), enraged by the death of dumbledore, sets off on a search for the Horcruxes, soul fragments Lord Voldemort (ralph Fiennes)

for him to seek help from an offbeat australian, Lionel Logue (Geoffrey rush); Speech boils down to a series of confrontations between patient and therapist. rushâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s flamboyance is tempered by Firthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s muted sorrow, and his characterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s gradual opening gives Firth a chance to push past the boundaries of his own interiority. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz Five)

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blackâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s obnoxious slacker-makesgood persona. This Gulliver is a magazine mail-room drone whose crush on travel editor amanda Peet leads to an assignment in the bermuda Triangle â&#x20AC;&#x201D; best not to worry too much about the plot inanities. all loose ends are sewn up via a performance of edwin Starrâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s â&#x20AC;&#x153;Warâ&#x20AC;? that suggests that the scriptâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s final page read simply, â&#x20AC;&#x153;Fuck it â&#x20AC;&#x201D; insert Tenacious d shtick here.â&#x20AC;? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)





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i love you PHilliP Morris|C+

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more than any film in HISTORY

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This is yet another adaptation that takes only the idea of a man amongst tiny people from its source, here employed for another spin on Jack

[ movie shorts ]

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Gulliverâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Travels|D-

indicted by the feds, nobody seems particularly bothered. Lisa (reese Witherspoon), a softball player just cut from the team, distracts herself with goofy, philandering matty (Owen Wilson); meanwhile George (Paul rudd) is being investigated for a crime heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s sure he didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t commit. Their lives intersect on a blind date, and a love triangle with a predictable ending ensues. How Do You Know lets its characters fall in love during the crappiest days of their lives â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but how do you know their happy ending isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t just a band-aid for their bigger problems? â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Carolyn Huckabay (UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

the naked city | feature

all the direct brutality within the aggressive messiness of life outside the ring. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Shaun Brady (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)


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a Lois Lanian newscaster, spanning a greater range than she has thus far in the flesh. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (UA Riverview)

Rabbit Hole|B by the time Rabbit Hole opens, becca and Howie (nicole Kidman and aaron eckhart) have already lost their son, a 4-year-old who dashed out in front of a car eight months earlier. John cameron mitchellâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film examines their grief but avoids wallowing in

it, keeping a cool but unflinching distance as the couple redefine their lives in the presence of an overwhelming absence. nicole Kidman is perfectly cast as a woman defined by control; itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s easy to overlook aaron eckhart

as the husband more comfortable displaying his pain, but his is perhaps the more complex character â&#x20AC;&#x201D; trying to hold on to every trace of his sonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s memory while pushing forward into a redefined life. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (Ritz Five)

RaRe expoRts: a CHRistmas tale|B In Finland, apocryphal tales of the â&#x20AC;&#x153;realâ&#x20AC;? St. nicholas have a dark twist â&#x20AC;&#x201D; their O.G. Santa was a cranky old bastard who didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give presents but demanded them. director Jalmari Helanderâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s film spins this icy yarn into a tale thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s part Raiders of the Lost Ark, part Blair Witch Project: Sub Zero Inc. drills atop a mountain for a tomb where the native Saami people allegedly buried the old goat hundreds of years ago. When it reaches the icy grave, the strangeness starts. In comparison to its supernatural horror setup, the filmâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s end is a bit treacly â&#x20AC;&#x201D; but then again, it is a christmas flick. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;Brian Howard (Ritz at the Bourse)

tangled A haiku: The timeless classic

Rapunzel â&#x20AC;&#x201D; now rendered in dead-eyed cGI! (Not reviewed) (UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

tHe tempest|D+ even with talent like Helen mirren, david Straithairn and chris cooper reciting the bardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lines, Julie Taymor feels compelled to outfit The Tempest with attacks by ravens, bees and hellhounds, while ben Whishaw corkscrews in and out of corporeality like a wood-nymph Gazoo. Shakespeare

doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t appear to be the source for her visual fancies so much as an excuse for them, with each aspect amplified to such an extent that everything threatens to drown out everything else. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s such an unceasing assault on the senses that even after all the characters have been washed ashore, the titular storm never seems to stop raging. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (Ritz Five)

but interchangeable Scotland yard functionaries under the command of a constantly frustrated Paul bettany. The end result is that focus is repeatedly yanked away from stars Johnny

depp and angelina Jolie, and the script contrives to keep them apart. aside from one sequence set in a Venetian canal, meaningful glances and endless conversations take precedence over gunplay and movement, but this isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t a thinking manâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s action film so much as a dullardâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

tRon: legaCy|BThere are few things more dated than 1982â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Tron, the blockbuster that threw wisecracking hacker Kevin Flynn (Jeff bridges) into a digital

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Fresh out of college, aura (dunham) makes an awkward return to a spacious manhattan loft owned by her mother, a successful artist, where her bratty younger sister bristles at giving up her â&#x20AC;&#x153;special room.â&#x20AC;? dunham doubles up on the Kubrickian chill by shooting in widescreen; when she and her sister talk through the wall of their adjacent rooms, theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re shot as if theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re in a dollhouse with the wall pulled away, each pressed against the

edge of her own little box. but while her observerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eye is acute, dunham doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have much insight into her characters. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re sharply drawn, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re all edges. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Ritz at the Bourse)

tHe touRist|c VO^^gV]c`aa[O`b^V]\SO^^P`]cUVbb]g]cPg

The Tourist spends as much time with the watchers as the watched in the spy game, but here the former are nothing

world ruled by polygonal airships with dueling day-Glo jumpsuit warriors. Picking up years after Flynnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s disappearance, Tron: Legacy focuses on his son, Sam (Garrett Hedlund), who gets zapped by a teleportation laser and finds himself on â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Grid.â&#x20AC;? Flynn, turns out, has been trapped inside the computer this entire time, betrayed by the cLu program he wrote to create a digital utopia. Sam, hellbent on busting out, relies on his â&#x20AC;&#x153;userâ&#x20AC;? advantages to combat cLu and his battery-powered goons. The visual power of Tron: Legacy is undeniable, but remember, this is a disney flick, one with muddled storytelling and puddle-deep character development. bridgesâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; vintage Flynn is as satisfying as a nostalgic atari session, but Hedlund and Olivia Wilde are mostly concerned with being pretty, and michael Sheenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hammy turn as a lascivious club owner is just a halfassed impression of the emcee from Cabaret. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;D.L. (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

[ movie shorts ]

tRue gRit|B+ The coen brothersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; True Grit is uncharacteristically restrained, its images softened by the haze of frontier dust. casting Jeff bridges as rooster cogburn gives the character a slovenly air; when mattie ross (Hailee Steinfeld) first makes contact with him, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s through the wall of a privy. â&#x20AC;&#x153;The jakes is occupiedâ&#x20AC;? is his only response to her offer of cash for the corpse of her fatherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s killer. Vengeance in True Grit is a dirty business â&#x20AC;&#x201D; not an eye for an eye, but something more visceral, and inevitably less just. The coens wrestle with moral issues, but theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve rarely done so as nakedly as in True Grit, and it turns out that transparency doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t suit them. Thereâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s beauty to True Grit, but not enough depth. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.A. (Pearl, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview) yogi beaR|F yogi bear has never really been anyoneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s favorite. The picnic basket thief is simply too shallow a creation to evoke more than a few chuckles. The problem for a filmmaker tasked with translating him into a feature film, then, is how to build an entire narrative around such a thin conceit. The answer, in this case, is to make yogi a supporting character in his own film and to focus instead on the

human denizens of Jellystone Park. This isnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t one of those modern-day, self-aware takes on a cherished childhood memory. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s simply a careless elaboration on a carefree original. â&#x20AC;&#x201D;S.B. (Pearl, Roxy, UA 69th St., UA Grant, UA Riverview)

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citypaper.net  CheCk out repertory f i l m l i s t i n g s at C i t y pa p e r . n e t / r e p f i l m .


lisTings@ciTypaper.neT | deC. 30 - jan. 6

the agenda

[ powerfully sinister-silly ]

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A ROCK AND A HARD PLACE: Michael Peterson’s “Evolution/ Revolution” runs through Feb. 19 at the Wood Turning Center. rex rystedt

iF yOU Want tO Be listed:

Submit information by mail (City Paper Listings, 123 Chestnut St., Third Floor, Philadelphia, PA 19106) or e-mail (listings@ citypaper.net) to Josh Middleton. Details of the event — date, time, address of venue, telephone number and admission price — should be included. Incomplete submissions will not be considered, and listings information will not be accepted over the phone.

Thursday

12.30 [ theater ]

The UndersTUdy

—Mark Cofta Through Jan. 30, $36-$65, Wilma Theater, 265 S. Broad St., 215-5467824, wilmatheater.org.

[ hip-hop ]

WU-Tang Clan/ alien arChiTeCT These days, Wu-Tang doesn’t sport the dangerous allure or the weird éclat they had in their start. Enter the Wu-Tang

(1993), Wu-Tang Forever (1997) and The W (2000) were powerfully sinister-silly efforts where you were never quite certain what was going to sound off next — even when you were blaring them on repeat. and you did put “Wu-Tang clan ain’t nuthing ta F’ Wit,” “c.r.e.a.m.,” “careful (click, click),” and “Protect ya neck” on and on and on over and over. Then Ol’ dirty bastard died, rZa became Quentin Tarantino’s best friend and method man became a comedian. but Ghostface Killlah became a poet, and GZa and raekwon released formidable solo efforts, too. The Wu’s 2009 reunion disc Chamber Music is promising, and if you don’t mind waiting until like midnight (the clan’s usual start time), you’ll be reminded why you shouldn’t f’ wit’ ’em. Then again, getting there early means catching one of my Philly picks to click, alien architect. The caucasoid rapper that his mom calls devin cohen has a hard fluttering voice that can race

or slow fluidly and frantically like an albert ayler sax solo with a soundtrack of scorchedearth live free jazz to match. recently, though, he’s taken to utilizing a solid sample-happy electronic-muzikdJ, and the alien’s architecture is eerily reminiscent (in a very good way) of the likes of mc 900 Ft. Jesus and the disposable Heroes of HipHoprisy. This should be your new year’s eve eve. —a.d. amorosi Thu., Dec. 30, 10 p.m., $41.50-$44, with DJ Image, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com.

[ visual art ]

MiChael PeTerson Viewing “evolution/revolution,” a show by michael Peterson, is like seeing a miniencapsulation of innovations in the field of fine-art wood turning in the last two decades. Traditionally, sculptures of this genre clearly looked like they were made with a lathe

— think bowls and vases. Gradually, abstract forms were introduced. Peterson, a master woodworker, helped spur the changes through his imaginative investigations on the nature of natural wood. more recently he’s dispensed with the lathe entirely. regardless, his innate sense of the wonderment and spirituality of wood is steadfast. newer pieces look like mysterious landscapes, or weathered twisted chunks of metal. Whatever the vintage of his work, they’re all marvelous testaments to Peterson’s understanding of the depth of possibilities in the material at hand. —deni Kasrel Through Feb. 19, free, Wood Turning Center, 501 Vine St., 215-923-8000, woodturningcenter.org.

[ theater ]

The Three MUskeTeers “Should I do it?” will become kids’ new rallying cry after see-

ing The Three Musketeers (The Later Years), People’s Light & Theatre co.’s seventh annual musical panto. The answer: a resounding yes! This holiday (but not christmas-themed) tradition incorporates english panto elements — all-ages musical comedy, based on a familiar story — with an award-winning creative team’s theatrical excellence. Writer Kathryn Petersen and composer-lyricist michael Ogborn craft a new adventure, set in sort-of French, kind-of main Line malvaria, combining danger, romance, comedy, heart, positive messages and sly satire — without condescending. malvaria’s teenage King Hughy (michael doherty) obsessively plays his thumbbox — a mid-1600s Gameboy — allowing evil Lord Guido mazarotti (director Pete Pryor) and his cutely nasty falcons to usurp Hughy and mom Queen agnes (mark Lazar, resplendent again as the grand dame). They need their musketeers — but they’re exiled, incognito,

23

Last season, Philadelphia Theatre co. canceled Theresa rebeck’s Mauritius, replacing it with Kathleen Turner’s Red Hot Patriot. now rebeck’s back, two broad Street blocks

away, with the off-broadway hit The Understudy at the Wilma Theater. Known locally for Bad Dates (which won a 2007 barrymore award for actress Susan riley Stevens at act II Playhouse), rebeck has penned a dozen plays, two novels, scripts for Law & Order, and Free Fall Zone, a hilariously cynical writing memoir. Her acerbic wit shines in The Understudy, a clash of stage, screen and literature in which a Hollywood action star finagles a role in Franz Kafka’s newly discovered play, but feels undermined by his understudy.

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The Agenda is our selective guide to what’s going on in the city this week. For comprehensive event listings, visit citypaper.net/listings.


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ard bet arley y2

25


a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

dj

nights

a SeleCtiVe GUide tO What BanGS in Philly. | by gair marking, aka dev79

W M 1 N/C U V

Weekly Monthly One-off No Charge Breaks Downtempo

h b O A e 9

Drum ’n’ Bass Dubstep/Garage Electro Experimental Funk/Soul Goth/Industrial

90 degrees

Whisper

600 Spring Garden St., 215-925-8878

1712 Walnut St., 215-735-6700

arts Garage

Thu., Dec. 30

1533 ridge ave., 215-765-2702

n the GatherinG M G @ rotunda

951 Frankford ave., 215-423-8342

w/dJ Ill-Literate, Ibe4ever, Fame, mike the Landlord. This one is for the heads reppin’ the elements: bboys, b-girls, graffiti artists, emcees and dJs keep the hip-hop culture alive each month. $1.

Bleu Martini

n hiGh SOCiety W U e G t y >

Barbarella

951 Frankford ave. Barbary

24 S. Second St., 215-940-7900 Blockley Pourhouse

3801 chestnut St., 215-222-1234 Cuba libre

@ mar bar w/Opal rock & Shiz La roq. Spinning all the boomin’ dance hits to keep you moving all night in university city. $5. n BraSS KnUCKleS W O G t y

@ P.y.T. w/Gun$ Garcia, ultraviolet, Jess Okay, Suga Shay. Four of the

10 S. Second St., 215-627-0666 elena’s Soul

613 S. Fourth St., 215-629-0565

26 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J a n u a r y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

Mar Bar

200 S. 40th St., 215-222-0100

1050 n. Hancock St., 215-964-9009 recess

125 S. Second St.

435 Spring Garden St., 215-592-8838 Starlight Ballroom

460 n. ninth St., 215-769-1530 the raven lounge (downstairs)

1718 Sansom St., 215-840-3577 the raven lounge

1718 Sansom St., 215-840-3577 Voyeur Club

1221 St. James St., 215-735-5772 Walnut room redux

1709 Walnut St., 215-751-0201

w/dJ rahsaan. all-night-long Latin flavor with salsa, merengue, bachata and more tropical club beats to get ya bumpin’. call for price. n drOPPin’ SCienCe M h t b

@ arts Garage w/bachelors Of Science, dJ Self, malevil, Hydrophonic, deep c, Jeff Heart, Tommy Hogunz, dZa, Fried chicken collective, dubc, corey b, and many more. The new Junglist massive presents this massive three-room party that will surely melt ya face off as you revel in the rave-tastic-ness! call for price.

Jhn rdn, cool Hand Luke, Luis angel cancel, Tony mont, Flicky, plus more special guests. Two floors of debaucherous fun with extra sound and lighting and all kinds of free drinks from 9 to 10 p.m. $15.

P.y.t.

Silk City

n BailaMOS W i @ cuba Libre

O t y @ barbary w/Ian St. Laurent,

27 S. 21st St., 215-557-1981

417 n. eighth St., 215-922-7500

n ShaFt FridayS W t i < >

@ Shampoo w/dJ bryant, maria V, Terri c and more. Philly’s premier gay party keeps ya shafted every weekend. boing. no cover before 11, $10 after.

n handS and KneeS: handS and KneeS/tiGerBeatS nye M

Medusa lounge

Shampoo

while you party your night away all slick-like. call for cover.

Lounge w/ Toney m., ryan T., ed blammo, Shawn ryan. It’s solidgold good times as the speakers spit out nothing but dancefloor grooves for you to ring in the new year with style, from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. $7.

Fluid

4014 Walnut St., 215-573-3234

<

Hip-hop House Latin Progressive House Reggae

n hUrrah M O t @ medusa

4912 baltimore ave.

rotunda

G t i s

fiercest lady dJs in the scene come together to smash you up. call for price.

y ! > z P

Rock/Pop Techno Top 40/ Hip-hop/ R&B Trance World

brand Gravy. They got the no stress option for ya they bringin’ that bashment heat, soca fiyah and bhangra vibes extra proper to ring in the new year. $10. n MaKinG tiMe/r5 neW yearS eVe FreaKOUt 1 O t y @ 90 de-

grees w/dave P, Sammy Slice, dave Pak, mike Z, rock Tits, Pink Skull, adam Sparkles, broadzilla dJs. The seventh annual massive indie dance event on three floors, video lights by Klip collective, open bar all night, and plenty of radness. $2. n neW year’S eVe MMX! 1 U @

Walnut room redux w/dJ Statik. resident turntablist dJ Statik spends while you get your sip on during the champagne toast at midnight. $20. n OMG it’S nye at Pyt W/ MMP VS BBG 1 e G t < y > @ P.y.T.

w/dJ deejay, Low bee. Wow that’s a crazy party title. all ya guilty pop pleasures will be raging in the party tent while the Hollertronix alum sets off the club jams in the back room. $25.

SaT., Jan. 1 n anythinG U Can ShaKe yr hiPS 2 W G y @ Silk city w/dJ

deejay. dancefloor getdown at the slick diner-club. no cover. n BailaMOS W i @ cuba Libre

w/dJ rahsaan. all-night-long Latin

Fri., deC. 31

DJ Jazzy JeFF 1 G @ Blockley Pourhouse. For the first time in his career, DJ Jazzy Jeff will

be spinning on New Year’s Eve in the city where he started his career. Ringing in 2011 with his playful mixes of old-school hip-hop and funked-up soul and R&B will undoubtedly set you in motion for your most danceable year yet. And if you’re not careful, it may also be your drunkest — $85 admission includes a buffet and a six-hour top-shelf open bar. —Josh Middleton

and weekly guests. Fishtown’s newest weekly punk and rock ’n’ roll party for you to go get all wasted and shout curse words and jump up and down. call for price.

Mon., Jan. 3 n BaCK 2 BaSiCS MOndayS 1 e G t @ Silk city w/dozia, ron

clark, b2b band and guests. One of Philly’s legendary long-running nights — just another reason why mondays don’t have to be lame. $7. n SOUled OUt W e @ The raven

Lounge (downstairs) w/Steve Ferrell. all soul and funk 45s spinnin’ for your early-week session. no cover. n Mad deCent MOndayS W U O G t > @ Fluid w/Tim dolla, dirty

n MiGhty! : MiGhty! nye M e G t y @ Silk city w/danny Krivit,

South Joe, uncle ron, Suga Shay, yahmean and guests. big room club, global bass and the raw rap attack packed full of surprise guests, giveaways and all kinds of goodness. $3.

dirty, del. a nyc dJ legend, from

n diSCO BiSCUitS aFterParty 1 U O s b @ Starlight ballroom

Tue., Jan. 4

w/Hallucinogen, m80 dubstation, Starkey, endboss, Supersillyus, dirty South Joe, Khadafi dub. brain Trust is joining up with the boys for some official after action with performance art, dancers, vendors and, of course, boomin’ music. $25.

n SUPerdOPe W O G t y > @ The raven Lounge w/dJ Phsh. Fame One and Vanache host this earlyweek jump-off so you can let loose with an eclectic mix of everything fresh and fun. no cover.

flavor with salsa, merengue, bachata and more tropical club beats to get ya bumpin’. call for price.

n indUStry neW year’S Party 1 t > @ Whisper w/dJ manik. mike

Fazio hosts this party for all those industry folks who have to work for nye weekend. Get out a day early and celebrate for yourself. call for price.

n FridayS at WalnUt rOOM redUX : neW year’S eVe W U O e G t y > @ Walnut room redux

the disco era to now, is gonna pop your nye night off oh so nicely. $30.

w/Statik. The legendary Philly dJ from Illvibe collective holds it down

n dUtty ChUtney nye 1 < P @

Fluid w/dJ mandip, dJ m-ski, new

n rOCKS OFF W y @ barbarella

w/edward b. Gieda, daniel Kishbaugh, Todd Terlecki, eric Kohlhofer

@ barbary w/dJ SnackPak, dJ breakfast, guests. midweek romp to get down with ’80s punk precedents, ’60s surf psychedelics and more. no cover. n SPin CyCle W U e G @ elena’s Soul w/dJ danophonic. Get yaself down to university city for all the funk, soul, breaks and classics that you can take to get over the hump! call for price. n Kandyland WedneSdayS 1 t y > @ bleu martini w/robbie

Tronco, aiden Scott. Hosted by mTV’s mena Heaven and featuring special appearances from the Playboy cybergirls. call for price. n laiSSeZ Faire W U O G t < y > @ recess w/dJ royale and

friends. Get ya late-night on with a deep variety of different sounds to keep you movin’ on the dancefloor. call for price. n hiP-hOP haPPy hOUr W G

@ barbarella w/emynd, bo bliz. crossfaded bacon brings you that good rap plus cheap drinks — and hot dogs! call for price.

More on:

citypaper.net

n BiZneS W G t > @ The raven

Fri., Dec. 31

n BOUFFant BanGOUt W y

n BOnita aPPleBaUM 1 t @

Sun., Jan. 2 Lounge w/applejuce, dJ razor cut ramone. Two floors of sound rockin’ especially for those in the service industry who need to let loose. no cover.

WeD., Jan. 5

 send dj night tips and

Voyeur club w/Lee Jones. The man behind Sundae brings on some latenight vibes to keep your partying on point. call for price.

listings to gair79@ c i t y p a p e r . n e t. F o r extended club listings, h i t c i t y pa p e r . n e t / d j n i g h t s .


MARK GARVIN

Through Jan. 9, $35-$45, People’s Light & Theatre Co., 39 Conestoga Road, Malvern, 610-644-3500, peopleslight.org.

—A.D. Amorosi

FRIDAY

[ rock/soul ]

LADYFINGERS/ LOW CUT CONNIE

NEW YEAR’S EVE ON ICE To celebrate the big ’11, Philadelphia is pulling out some extra booms and bangs. For those who are either turning in early, or who can’t get enough of the sky-glowing gloriousness, the city is putting on an extra fireworks show at 6 p.m. in addition to its midnight blowout. So while the sky’s warming up with all the sparkle, you can keep it chilly down below at River Rink’s 17th annual New Year’s Eve on Ice soirée. Penn’s Landing makes an ideal spot to dazzle the crowd with that Michelle Kwan triple salchow you’ve been practicing. Expect

to do it completely sober, though: There’ll be plenty of food and drinks to go around,

27

— a filmmaker, playwright, singer and composer — has hiccupped and pleaded his way through an array of spooky rockabilly-based songs that summon the ghosts of Gene Pitney, Carl Perkins and Elvis. I can’t emphasize the spooky element enough. What he does never grazes the tip of ’50s pastiches or tribute; instead, the high-haired vocalist/instrumentalist’s songs on eccentric LPs such as Open Your Robe and My Prom are pockmarked by the most ominous piano sounds to grace vinyl. Weiner is menacing whether he’s bel-

[ fire/ice ]

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

In the guise of the dire doo-wopping Ladyfingers, Adam Weiner

Fri., Dec. 31, 9 p.m.-1 a.m., $20 (includes drinks and snacks), with DJ Swampmeat, Old Swedes’ Church, 916 S. Swanson St., 646-284-4535, facebook.com/lowcutconnie.

G. WIDMAN/GPTMC

12.31

food | classifieds

—Mark Cofta

lowing what he calls kept-man anthems (“What Size Shoe”) or dangerous romancers (“Wonderful Boy”). Then there’s Low Cut Connie, Weiner’s new band with pals from the U.K., where he tours relentlessly. Cut from the same cloth as Ladyfingers, LCC burns that cloth wholesale with pure raw swamp rock ’n’ roll. “No BS, here,” says Weiner. “It’s Stones/Jerry Lee/Cramps and people will boogie and pee themselves when they hear it.” The “it” here is LCC’s debut CD — Get Out the Lotion — that Weiner will debut on New Year’s Eve at Old Swedes’ Church. Why there? It’s got a piano — a must for any Weiner gig. “Plus the sexton of the church puts on shows there every few months and is a big Ladyfingers fan,” says Weiner. A hotter and heavier happy new years you won’t find.

the agenda

unbelievable than Chris Faith and Brad DePlanche’s shaving cream duel as the “Should I do it?” Hairy Barbiaris — is that yet again, People’s Light creates a terrific, brand-new, fully produced large-cast musical. Take that, $65 million Broadway debacle Spider-Man!

[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

in New Jersey! More amazing than Samantha Bellomo’s fight and dance choreography, more outrageous than Lazar’s flirtatious audience forays, more


a&e | feature | the naked city the agenda classifieds | food

but not a drop of booze. —Josh Middleton

Roast Beef Old City’s NeighbOrhOOd bar & restauraNt Since 1969

new Year’S eve No CoveR • No ReseRvatioNs Needed • Hats & NoisemakeRs CHampagNe toast at midNigHt

$10.95 Prime rib dinner

Fri., Dec. 31, 5-7 p.m. and 11 p.m.-1 a.m., $20 (party)-$30 (party and skating), Blue Cross RiverRink at Penn’s Landing, Columbus Boulevard and Spring Garden Street, 215-923-6533, riverrink.com.

[ rock/pop ]

DaDa you might know them only for their darkly melodic 1992 single “dizz Knee Land,” but dada have been reunited and power-popping it up for a few

$5.95 Lunch Sandwich SPeciaLS 3 to chooSe from daiLY with ChOiCe Of fries, sOup Or salad & sOda Or iCed tea

KaraoKe

haPPY hour

StartS at 4Pm $1.75 piNts & COmplimeNtary sNaCks

28 | P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r |

d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J a n u a r y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

16 S. 2nd St . 215-928-9411

years now. Their new year’s gig at the north Star promises to be a multi-hour spectacle, including an all-beatles set, some new songs that’ll turn up on dada’s forthcoming album (their first since 2004), and a “bootleg” of the evening’s proceedings you can take home with you. Talk

[ the agenda ]

—eric Schuman Fri., Dec. 31, 9 p.m., $40-$45, with The Energy, North Star Bar, 2639 Poplar St., 215-787-0488, northstarbar.com.

SATURdAy

1.01

songs (and maybe even newer ones), though the guys are sure to plumb their extensive back catalog throughout the night. Patterson Hood has referred to Go-Go Boots as a “r&b murder” album. What does that mean? Who knows, but the Truckers seem to be doing some good, oldfashioned genre-messing. —eric Schuman

[ rock/pop ]

Drive-By Truckers

seRved witH Baked potato aNd CHoiCe of House salad oR Cup of Homemade soup. fRom 4pm daily.

every saturday at 9pm

about seeing the past, present and future all at once.

rise and shine! It’s time to greet the new year! all right, your hesitation is understood, but make sure you roll out of bed in time to catch the return of the drive-by Truckers. Having hunkered down in their studio around the end of 2009, the Truckers produced enough material for at least two new albums. The first, The Big ToDo, was released in march, and the next, Go-Go Boots (aTO records), is nearly ready to be let loose. expect a good portion of their show to feature those new

Sat., Jan. 1, 9 p.m., $30-$35.25, TLA, 334 South St., 215-922-1011, livenation.com.

SUNdAy

1.02 [ rock/pop ]

Dragon king dominic angelella tends to sprint from one project to the next, but dragon King is one he could stand to linger on for a while. Since we first told you about the Port richmond singer-


[ the agenda ]

the naked city | feature | a&e

guitarist’s electropop collaboration with South Philly producer Ritz Reynolds in our September Music Issue, the band made its live debut at The Ox and dropped the excellent Warriors EP via its Bandcamp page. The set adds range to Angelella’s pallet: the acrobatic rap of “Wolfboy”

understanding is an impressive accomplishment. —Eric Schuman

the agenda

Wed., Jan. 5, 6:30 p.m., free, Friends Center, 1501 Cherry St., 267-994-9448, phillyagainstwar.org.

[ brazilian/jazz ]

food | classifieds

MATUTO

moves in a Mad Decent swagger; “Wild Night” is all four-on-thefloor and festive. But then there’s the introverted sensitivity and soaring vocal harmonies of “Altamont Sunrise” and the title track. More please.

“I’ve been super blessed. I’ve had a lot of amazing opportunities this year — and I’m hoping for more,” says Clay Ross, guitarist and singer with Matuto, calling from the middle of a dust devil of a tour swirling around his Southern birthplace. Every year he books a reunion trip with high school

—John Vettese Sun., Jan. 2, 8 p.m., $8, with Nico’s Gun and Hop Along, Kung Fu Necktie, 1250 N. Front St., 215-291-4919, kungfunecktie.com.

WEDNESDAY

1.05 [ think tank ]

JOE PIETTE

Though they’re outspoken and active against many kinds of political wrongdoings, Philly Against War’s latest gathering gets back to the group’s roots. Always on the lookout for unsettling governmental actions, these rabble-rousers are the

—Mary Armstrong

$4 HAPPY HOUR Monday – Friday 5-7pm Sunday – Thursday 11pm–1am

w hef Dre

D By riC. & Sat.) F SS FOO

KICKnigAht Nightly (1:30am ‘til Mid

yOur BOOK Ay HAppy HOlID wITH uS HOur t 9pm

ndays a

More on:

citypaper.net FOR COMPREHENSIVE EVENT LISTINGS, VISIT C I T Y PA P E R . N E T / L I S T I N G S .

Su QuIZZO CH s11-5 N u r B Ay $3 Bloody Mary SuNimD s o as & $3 M

Brewery & restaurant 1516 Sansom Street • philly 215.569.9525 • www. noddingheadphilly.com

29

latest generation of organized outrage. Their blog fills the gap between meetings and rallies, but it’s the face-to-face events, like this teach-in planning meeting, that highlight the group as righteous educators. Even if your political stance doesn’t mesh with theirs, and even if war and injustice continue, reaching a point of

Wed., Jan. 5, 8 p.m., $10-$13, with Dangermuffin and Cabinet, World Café Live, 3025 Walnut St., 215-2221400, worldcafelive.com.

Philadelphia’s Most Award Winning Brewery

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

ANTI-WAR GATHERING

musical buds and gets paid to return to South Carolina for the holidays. The rest of the year Ross is a member of Canadian fiddler April Verch’s band, but his principal joy is Matuto, the Brazilian group that lets him fold all his jazz and old-time licks into one juicy North-toSouth American stew. Having partners who also master a breadth of styles makes it all possible. Accordionist Rob Curto is known for his work with Lila Downs, but is said to be the foremost forró interpreter outside Brazil. Drummer Richie Barshay met Ross while both were studying music in Brazil. Between Matuto gigs he tours with Esperanza Spalding. Rob Hecht’s fiddle moves seamlessly from Norman Blake nuevo-Appalachian to samba.


Food news, recipes, menu exclusives

citypaper.net/mealticket

classifieds | food

the agenda

a&e | feature | the naked city

Let the feeding frenzy begin.

Thu 12/30- SOLD OuT! R5 PReSenTS

MeWithoutYou BuRieD BeDS

FRi 12/31 JOhnny BRenDaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S anD PhiLeBRiTy PReSenTS

the NYe SNoWflake Ball at JBâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PartY MaNSioN

5 SeTS OF DJS PLuS SPeciaL JameSOnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S BeveRageS! DOWnSTaiRS: muSic FOR Sin anD high TimeSWiTh SWiveL chaiRS DJS FROm 9P-2a! nO cOveR! SaT 1/1

DoWNStairS: NeW Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DaY BruNch froM 11a-3:30P PLuS:The BReakFaST cLuBWiTh DJ PRinceSS BaSkeTcaSe SPinning neW Wave anD (POST) Punk

mOn 1/3 DOWnSTaiRS: aLien vS. cReDiTORWiTh DJ DeF JanieLS anD huLk hOagie FROm 8P-miDnighT

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23rd & walnut

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Tue 1/4 DOWnSTaiRS: SOuL 45â&#x20AC;&#x2122;SWiTh DJ ROyaL T anD FRienDS SPinning FROm 10P-2a

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Corner of frankford & Girard. fishtown. www.johnnybrendas.Com

30 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

roosevelts & ,EEC6))

./7/.4!0

PBC JOE PORTER YARDS BRAWLER VICTORY HOPDEVIL FLYING FISH GRAND CRU

(!009(/52 EVERYDAY 5-7PM. FREE PIZZA $2 BEER OF THE WEEK $2 WELL DRINKS

4(523$!9

LIVE WITH TIM KELLY

&2)$!9

NYE DJ PARTY NO COVER

3!452$!9 TITTIE CITY

On South between 2nd & 3rd Streets 215-923-1999

?6;4 6; A52 ;2D F2.? .A A.C2?;  $40 IN ADVANCE $45 AT THE DOOR OPEN BAR 9-2AM CHAMPAIGNE TOAST, BUFFET, DJ EAT DRINK DANCE & BE MERRY!

45%3$!9

LIVE WITH JOHN MOLNAR

4ZgS`a5O[Sa

Passyunk ave

roosevelts23.com

myspace.com\thedivebar

(7TH & CARPENTER)

215.465.5505

Open everyday 5p-2a Kitchen Open All Night Happy Hour Everyday 5p-7p

SILKCITYPHILLY.COM 5TH & SPRING GARDEN

HAPPY HOUR MON â&#x20AC;&#x201C; FRI 5-7

THURSDAY 12/30 MO $$ NO PROBLEMS

THURSDAY HOOKAH HIP-HOP NIGHT BRING IN THIS AD FOR A FREE HOOKAH* 10-1

FRIDAY 12/31

MIGHTY (NEWYEARS!)

w/ DANNY KRIVIT OPENING SET BY: DEL & DIRTY TICKETS AT

TINYURL.COM/MIGHTYNEWYEARS

SATURDAY 1/1

DJ DEEJAY

SUNDAY 1/2

FRIDAY HIP-HOP & HOUSE SATURDAY WORLD MUSIC SUNDAY GREEK / MEDITTERANEAN NIGHT Free Belly Dancing lessons 9:30 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:30 pm

SUNDAE PM LEE JONES & DIRTY

MONDAY LAID BACK HOUSE

MONDAY 1/3

TUESDAY OLD SKOOL HIP-HOP

TUESDAY 1/4

WEDNESDAY HOUSE MUSIC 1/2 Price Drinks with Student ID 10-1

BACK 2 BASICS LO LIFE GREG DROGOTTIS WEDNESDAY 1/5 SESSION (REGGAE NIGHT) SOLOMONIC SOUND ITAL SOUND RASCUL INTâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;L

116 S. 18th Street 215.568.3050 www.byblosphilly.com *restrictions apply

THURSDAY

Wired 96.5 on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof Thursday Birthday - bottle of champagne and cake on the house!

FRiDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor House Music on The Roof

SATURDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Hip Hop on The Roof

SUNDAY

House Music on the Main Floor Q102 on The Roof

MONDAY

Latin Night/Free Lessons On the Main Floor Mixed Music on The Roof

TUESDAY

Hip Hop on the Main Floor w/Strength Dance Competition/ Pole Dancing Oldies Music on The Roof

WEDNESDAY

Continuation of Center City Sips 5p-7p Hip Hop on the Roof & Main Floor 116 S.18 th Street 215-568-1020 www.vangoloungeandskybar.com


up Thera

r py B a

No cover, just bring your friends, make out with someone at midnight, get drunk and be merry. We’ll even tell you when it’s time to go home. 12 steps down always keeps it simple.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Every Tuesday, 8pm King of the Hill Pool Tournament

CLOSED

2

SUN

Wed Nite Open Mic ‘Original Music’ 9pm w/ Dave Robins or Abe the Rockstarr

Kevin C & “Steady” Eddie Austin Dollar Drinks Till 11 NO COVER

New Winter Hours Starting January 2nd : 11am – 2am, 7 days a week

3

MON

Saturday, January 8th, 9pm $5 Vintage Kicks And More TBA Monday Night Jazz Every First Monday NO COVER

1

SAT

Open New Year’s Day Noon – 2am

food | classifieds

NEW YEAR’S EVE FOR DUMMIES

31

FRI

NO COVER NO FRILLS

the agenda

Gro

Heavy Metal Night Shadowscene, Luis A. Cancel NO COVER

Join us for New Year’s Eve - Free Champagne Toast at Midnight!

the naked city | feature | a&e

30

THU

MULTICADE IS HERE!! TIGERBEATS Indie Dance Party, NO COVER

4

TUE

DOWNSTAIRS

ON The CORNeR Of

9Th & ChRISTIAN

12STepSDOWN.COm TWelveSTepSDOWN@AOl.COm

215.238.0379

Private Party! 5

WED

80’s Dance Party, NO COVER

~TUESDAY~ $5 Burgers $3 Victory Pints ALL DAY! $2 Well Drinks 9-11pm, $5 Layered Pints 9pm-11pm Manayunk’s Best Pub Quiz Starts @ 10pm ~WEDNESDAY~ $1 Pretzel Braids $2 Blue Moons and $2 U-Call its10-12 pm $3 Rotating Craft Beer Pints (ALL DAY) ~THURSDAY~ ½ Price Drinks (All Drinks) 9-11 ½ Price Irish, Craic, Nachos $2 Miller Lite (All Day) ~FRIDAY~ NEW YEARS EVE!! No Package, No Pressure. Just a Bloody Good Time. Party Rockers and DJ Kevin at 10pm $3 Coors Lights ALL DAY! $3 Captain and Coke 9-11. ~SATURDAY~ Open at 4pm. $3 Bud Lights all Day

3

$

draftS

4

$

rail drink

5

$

wine

6

$

8-10 oz Snow crab

happy hour 5pm – 7pm

220 South 17th Street tavern17restaurant.com

Beer of the Month Victory Hopdevil

704 Chestnut St. 215.592.9533 L a s Ve g a s L o u n g e . c o m

NEW YEAR’S EVE w/ DJ Jazzy Jeff 8 p.m. $85 incl. 6-Hour, Top-Shelf Open Bar & Complimentary Buffet Upcoming Shows

Fri 1/7 Toy Soldiers, Papertrees, Levee Drivers Sat 1/8 The Movement, Sonni Shine, Private Stock Fri 1/21 Splintered Sunlight (Grateful Dead Tribute) Fri 1/28 Rubix Kube Back to the Eighties Show Sat 2/19 Big Gigantic w/ Kraddy Sat 2/26 - Beth Hart

FRIDAY 12/31 New Years Eve Party Taylor McFerrin & The Cell Theory Ryat Dirk Quinn Band $20 tix available @ triumpholdcity.ticketleap.com/ newyearseve $25 day of show $45 four course pre fix menu available Contact Danielle@triumphbrew.com to inquire about open bar packages. SATURDAY 1/1 Fantasy Square Garden 10pm SUNDAY 1/2 Open Mic with Dani Mari 9pm MONDAY 1/3 Open Jam Session with Tony Catastrophe 9pm TUESDAY 1/4 Jazz Series with L.P. Stiles 9pm

31

~SUNDAY~ Skillet Brunch until 3 pm. $3 Stella Pints - $3 Bud Light $4 Guinness Pints 9-11 p.m Shift Show Sundays Eagles v Dallas @ 4pm

cheeSeburger SliderS

Happy Hour Mondays-Fridays 5-7pm $2.50 Kenzinger Pints & More!

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

2

$ ~MONDAY~ WING NIGHT... $0.35 Wings $2 Yuenglings ALL DAY! $3 Smithwicks and $2 Wells

JUST BUSINESS AS USUAL


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classifieds | food

the agenda

The FUN starts at 6 p.m. so stop in for dinner before heading out to see the fireworks at Midnight or stop in after the early fireworks at 6.

(Featuring Rogue Dead Guy, Sierra Nevada's Celebration Ale, Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ale, Victory Yakima Glory, Victory Golden Monkey, Samual Adams Winter Ale, Harpoon Winter Warmer) Also Hoegarden, Miller Light, Coors Light & Yuengling lager.

.

Watch the earlybird fireworks at Penn's Landing then head to 4th and South and enjoy Copa's famous burgers or fancier fare like $15.95 prime rib or Maryland Style Crabcakes. Kitchen open until 1 a.m. for munchies after the fireworks. $5 GREY GOOSE COCKTAILS.


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DO IT

TODAY

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[ join uS ]

New Year’s eve DiNNer 6pm-10pm live music 9pm-11pm karaoke 11pm-1:30am

[ MEnu ] $50/person Choice of one option from each of the courses below

appEtizEr

EntréE

s0RIME2IB#ARPACCIOWITH ROASTEDSHALLOTS CAPERS HORSERADISHAIOLI

s'RILLED.EW:EALAND,AMB #HOPSWITHGRILLEDCORN RELISH MINTSWEETONION MARMALADE

3!,!$ s#AESAR3ALADWITHROMAINE LETTUCE PARMESANCROUTONS SHAVEDAGEDPROVOLONE

s#APRESE3ALAD HEIRLOOMTOMATO FRESHMOZZARELLA MICROGREENS BALSAMICSYRUP

s#RISPY(ALIBUTWITHAVOCADO CRABSALADTOMATOWATER s$RY!GED!NGUS0RIME2IB WITHCHEDDARPOPOVERS peppercorn jus

s'INGER 3WEET#HILI'LAZED #ORNISH'AME(ENWITH BABYBOKCHOY

Only at citypaper.net/#dO_it_tOday

All the winter seasonal beers under one roof!

$%33%24 presented tableside s4IRAMISU s#HOCOLATE Mousse s#RÞME"RUL£E

s0ROlTEROLES 'LASS s#OPPA Mascarpone

rbeerfest.co e t in

m

s4AVERN(OUSE3ALAD

CPSHORTLIST

s6EGETABLEWITHROASTEDTOMATO risotto

w

s,EMON&LAMB£

reservations encouraged

At the Starlight Ballroom

January 22nd • 2011

winterbeerfest.com

33

220 S. 17th St. | 215/790-7758 tavern17restaurant.com

$40 Π(Unlimited 60 Plus Beers! Samples)

P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R | D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T |

s3EAFOOD#ONSOMM£WITH POACHEDLOBSTERSHIITAKE mushrooms


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f&d

foodanddrink

portioncontrol By Adam Erace

CHÂU BeLLA Café Châu | 2201 S. Seventh St., 215-463-1095,

cafechau.com. Open Tue.-Sun., 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Appetizers, $2.50-$3.50; banh mi, $3-$4; soups, $6$7; rice and noodle dishes, $5.50-$7.

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d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J a n u a r y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

➤ UNLESS YOU’RE IN the market for fresh-

kill chickens or pirated DVDs, it’s unlikely you’ll find yourself on the 2200 block of South Seventh Street. Around the corner from the Preah Buddha Rangsey Temple, this is the heart of deep South Philly’s Cambodian community, and outsiders rarely venture into its narrow shops. Sucks for them. Behind humble storefronts like Café Châu’s, very little cash gets you food that’s truly money. Inside the 20-seat cafe, 24-year-old Brian Truong takes orders. His parents, Chau and Banh, natives of the former Saigon, opened this pho parlor two years ago, and the Von Dutch-capped college grad works here most days, running food, building banh mi, mixing up Juicy Fruit-y jackfruit shakes, fragrant lotus root tea and Earth’s baddest lemonade (salt is the secret) behind a beat-up cold case. Chau Truong is responsible for the cafe’s bewitching cooking. Slight of stature and sweet as Vietnamese coffee — her dark, creamy version deploys three kinds of Viennese beans — she’s a tripe charmer in a junior-size sweatsuit, and I don’t know where her house-special beef pho has been all my life. The vermicelli-stacked soup brought beef five ways: steak, balls, tripe, tendon and an almost consomme-like stock borne of bone and star anise. Each slurp resounded with meaty clarity, nudged in spicy, sour or herbaceous direction by my tableside additions of sawtooth culantro, licorice-y Thai basil, sliced jalapeños, hoisin and chili sauces and big squirts of fresh lime. This is not white-boy pho, and the more you appreciate authenticity in the forms of gelled pig’s blood and pork knuckle — the wish-it-were-spicier bun bo hue counts both among its flotsam, the latter looking like a spiny caterpillar and tasting of lemon grass — the more you’ll appreciate Café Châu. Less intrepid (but still just as good) choices include sweet pork spring rolls in buttery, phyllo-brittle wrappers and pounded-thin, honey-marinated grilled pork chops with com tam and daikon cut to look like flowers. But why not try the intense, sweet, shell- and roe-darkened crab noodle soup filled with spongy tofu, tender pork balls, vermicelli and piney Vietnamese cilantro? There’s cubed blood in this bowl, too, enough to make Carrie blush. Push it aside if you must — the staff’s so nice at Café Châu, they’re not all gonna laugh at you. (adam.erace@citypaper.net)

THE BUCK STOPS HERE: Bistrot La Minette chef Peter Woolsey (rear, with saucepan) plating his venison entrée at the James Beard House Dec. 22. drew lazor

[ excellent adventures ]

Minette Men Along for a ride to the James Beard House. By Drew Lazor

I

n the unfathomably cold early-morning hours of Wed., dec. 22, I was kidnapped out of a dark alley by a gang of rowdy, foulmouthed chefs. and I have lived to tell the tale. To be fair, it was a willful abduction. This summer, Peter Woolsey of bistrot La minette was invited to cook a French christmas dinner at new york’s James beard House, and he asked me to come along to document the proceedings. One of a select group to get the prestigious call in 2010, Woolsey began planning this lavish holiday meal — a dec. 24 tradition for French families — while you and I were still getting sunburned. Here’s how it happened. More on: 6:07 a.m. In the alley behind La minette’s Sixth-and-bainbridge HQ, Woolsey runs a bespectacled eye down a long list of items he’ll split between two cars. every element needed for his five-course feast must be carefully packed and brought along, and at Woolsey’s own expense. The beard House, named for the late chef/author many Id as the great champion of american culinaire, operates as a nonprofit, meaning Woolsey is technically donating both time and materials. but this is not about making money — it’s one of the most distinct honors a chef can receive. Woolsey’s sous chef, Steve Stryjewski, is not a morning person. meanwhile, Woolsey’s former

citypaper.net

sous, bryan Friedman (el rey), is ready to go — he’s singing while bounding up the stairs, arms full of sheet trays and quart containers. “come on, Steve!” Friedman yells, grabbing Steve by the shoulders and rattling him. “Seriously, if you keep this up,” Steve counters, “I will murder you.” 6:50 a.m. The crew — Woolsey, Friedman and Stryjewski, plus Steve’s brother, Waldemar “Val” Stryjewski (Pumpkin), and La minette Gm brad Histand — loads the remaining supplies into the cars, and we’re off. Somewhere between here and a quick stop at Wawa, the shit-talking begins. It does not stop for 17 hours. 9:10 a.m. We arrive at the beard House, the entrance to which is an unremarkable door on West 12th Street in Greenwich Village. beard lived here for the last dozen years of his life (he died in 1985), and the brownstone has been converted into a culinary center, home base for events as well as for the Foundation’s charitable arm. 9:40 a.m. Woolsey calls a prep meeting r e a d a n e x t e n d e d in the kitchen. He runs down what should version of this be done immediately (baking bread) and a r t i c l e at c i t y­ what can wait until later (finishing sauces). pa p e r . n e t / f o o d . Woolsey vetoes forming his duck confit rillettes into very French spoon-smoothed quenelles. Too pretentious for a bistro. “I just want it to be fucking delicious,” Woolsey says. 10:18 a.m. The team begins rolling out dough for the baguette, a relatively mindless task that allows the chefs to run their mouths even more than usual. Friedman, a Jew who earlier in the day raved about chopping down his own christmas tree, is fondly described by fellow Tribe member Woolsey as “half Jewish, half asshole.” 10:30 a.m. “Look, I’m a lobster!” says Steve, bounding around the >>> continued on adjacent page


<<< continued from previous page

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, blogger,â&#x20AC;? Val says to me. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now a cook.â&#x20AC;?

is the best. time to prove it.

/

%@M<FLEKIP)LEB +F:B89@CCP=IFDK?<@J:F#<<K<IJ L<JKA)   ,?8:B8D8O@DLDI8L>?K,G<:@8CJ '/+(/+

637 N. 3rd Street . PHILADELPHIA

215-627-6711

classifieds

donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop '02+, believinâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;

food

CheCk out Citypaper.net/karaoke for all your karaoke needs

â??

Best

place to get a

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cheesesteak? â&#x20AC;˘ Best shop for local produce? â&#x20AC;˘ favorite place to get a cheesesteak? â&#x20AC;˘ Best BYoB restaurant in the citY?

Your Questions. Y o u r A n s w e r s . Y o u r C i t Y.

askadelphia.

35

askadelphia.com

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kitchen with silver tongs in his hands. â&#x20AC;&#x153;And a shitty cook,â&#x20AC;? adds Friedman. 11:20 a.m. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s seriously impressive how much these dudes can get done while disparaging each other. The insults flutter around the kitchen like angry cicadas, all while Val cleans up chanterelles, his brother builds meringue mushrooms for a BĂťche de NoĂŤl dessert and Friedman dices up salmon for a tartare. Noon Woolsey and Val squiggle Chartreuse-infused butter (they brought three pounds!) on top of escargot, each snail housed in tiny ceramic pots the size of thimbles. 2:29 p.m. After lunch at a nearby sushi place, Woolsey is full-blown nervous about time. You can tell because heâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s walking six paces ahead of everyone while intermittently cocking his head around to list what needs to be accomplished before guests arrive at 7. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Hey, blogger,â&#x20AC;? Val says to me. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re now a cook.â&#x20AC;? (Thank God he was joking.) 2:39 p.m. Woolseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s now a good 12 paces ahead. 2:42 p.m. I can no longer see Woolsey. 2:53 p.m. Back at the Beard House, Steve and Friedman take on langoustine duty, wrapping the individual tails of the expensive imported crustaceans with shredded phyllo dough for the dinnerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s opening course, served with a classic sauce AmĂŠricaine. Val sautĂŠs a million Brussels sprouts. Woolsey tends to sauces, peels hardboiled eggs and otherwise centers himself. 3:18 p.m. A plucky, Beard House-provided culinaryschool volunteer named Nicole materializes. Sheâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s placed on parsley-plucking duty, and assures the kitchen crew that her virginal ears will not be hurt by their stream of banter. They dial it back a little anyway. 7:20 p.m. After leaving for a while, I show back up, toting a sixer of Guinness specifically requested by Val. (This apparently means that I have a crush on him.) Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re well into cocktail hour now, held right in the kitchen and an adjacent room; guests schmooze, nibbling on tartare and gougeres and sipping on Brut RosĂŠ. 8 p.m. I find my seat at Table 5, populated by several friendly Philadelphians, a NOLA-turned-NYC couple and Woolseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s guests, chefs Christopher Lee and Katie Busch, both of whom Woolsey worked with at Striped Bass. 9:05 p.m. With excellent langoustine and foie gras courses in the bag and escargot pots scraped empty in front of me, I slip down to the kitchen to observe Woolsey crank out his venison. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s quite the orchestration, plates spread out on every cubic inch of counter space, disparate elements â&#x20AC;&#x201D; Brussels! mushrooms! Bordelaise! Pommes noisettes! â&#x20AC;&#x201D; flying into place, servers toe-tapping, and an inquisitive photographer documenting it all. For all the hubbub, the kitchen is, for once, surprisingly quiet. 10:03 p.m. After Woolseyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s brief Q&A with the dining room, dinner is over, guests are collecting their coats and the kitchen is breaking down and cleaning up. For a long-ass day, it went by pretty fast. Woolsey pores over the details, but as far as I could tell, the opulent meal unfolded just as he envisioned. He seems relieved, and proud. Which, of course, is the green light for his guys to resume talking shit to him. (drew.lazor@citypaper.net)

you know your version of

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda

 Minette Men


MIDDLE EASTERN & LEBANESE CUISINE SINCE 1986

feedingfrenzy

Mediterranean Cuisine .Open 7 days a week

By Drew Lazor

Hummus, Kibeh, Kabob, Grape Leaves, Falafel, and Seafood specialty

gracetavern.com

classifieds

food

the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

[ food & drink ]

616 S. 2nd Street 215.925.4950 www.cedarsrestaurant.com

 824@  244@

DD 5.;4<C2? /?B;05 @Nab_QNf 7N[bN_f `a ]Z aU_\bTU @b[QNf 7N[bN_f [Q #]Z

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â&#x17E;¤ NOW SEATING Tyson Bees | Chef Tyson Wong Ophaso of the short-

lived Chew Man Chu has gone mobile with this streetfood operation, which parks at 33rd and Spruce for weekday lunch, Second and Spring Garden Thursday to Saturday (8 p.m.-2 a.m.) and roams the rest of the time. Ophasoâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s truck, which has an unmistakable paint job from Philly artist Yis Goodwin (aka NoseGo), cooks up three varieties of taco (Korean short rib, Thai basil chicken, edamame tofu), hearty rice bowls and various specialties (peep their barbecue pork banh mi). Rotating specials, too. Theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re on Facebook: facebook.com/tysonbeesphillyfoodtruck. tysonbees.com.

HOME OF THE SHAME BURGER

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A GREAT RESTAURANT TRAPPED IN A BAR

&aU  0.A5.?6;2 @A?22A@ "  %#""" 3V[Q \ba Z\_R Na ddddV`UV[TdRYY]UVYYfP\Z ddddV`UV[TdRYY]UVYYfP\Z

    SEAFOOD, CHINESE, AMERICAN CUISINE

ddd;2D@B=2?86;4/B332AP\Z The Best Priced Chinese Buffet In South Philadelphia

NEW YEARâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S DAY

BRUNCH STARTS AT 11AM

CRAB LEGS FOR NEW YEARS EVE Only $11.99

LUNCH BUFFET

Mon. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sat.: 11:00am. - 4:00pm. Adult: $5.99. Child (2-9): $3.49

DINNER BUFFET

Mon. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Thurs.: 4:00 pm. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:30 pm. Fri. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Sat.: 4:00 pm. â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 11:00 pm. Adult: $9.29. Child (2-9): $4.49. Add Snow Crab Legs $11.99

A L L D AY S U N D AY B U F F E T

12:00 noon â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 10:30 pm. Adult: $9.29. Child (2-9): $4.49 Add Snow Crab Legs $11.99 Prices are subject to change without notice. Free Ice Cream and Soda for eat in buffet only.

10% OFF

$5.00 OFF

With this coupon. Excludes holidays. Exp 12/31/2010. Not to be combined with any other offer.

Min. $35 order. With this coupon. Excludes holidays. Exp 12/31/2010 Not to be combined with any other offer.

TOTAL CHECK

120 Market Street philadelphiabarandrestaurant.com 215-925-7691

TOTAL CHECK

Reservation Acceptable (6 or More). Private Room Available FRONT STREET SNYDER PLAZA 40-44 Snyder Ave., Philadelphia, PA 19148 Tel: 215-339-1986 . Fax: 215-339-1989

The Corner | Cocktail bar APO has gotten a hungry-

man makeover as The Corner, an international comfort food concept helmed by partners Tony Rim (RAW), Drew Milstein and chef Scott Swiderski (Buddakan). While the top floor has been kept largely the same â&#x20AC;&#x201D; roof deck, bar and all (theyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve got a lineup of specialty cocktails, as well as time-tested classics like the Aviation, Corpse Reviver No. 2, etc.) â&#x20AC;&#x201D; the ground level is now a bustling dining space with an open kitchen. Swiderski, backed by sous chef John Taus, is putting out plates like â&#x20AC;&#x153;shrimp in a blanketâ&#x20AC;? (fried prawns wrapped in kataifi, or shredded phyllo), a meatball salad (!) with shaved reggiano, an oldschool cheeseburger and apple-cider-brined fried chicken. 102 S. 13th St., 215-735-7500, thephillycorner.com. Open Mon.-Wed., 5 p.m.-mid; Thu.-Sat., 5 a.m.-2 a.m. â&#x17E;¤ LITTLE VITTLES The Dandelion (18th/Sansom), the U.K.-inspired pub

from Stephen Starr, opens to the public tomorrow (New Yearâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eve!) at 3 p.m. â&#x17E;¤ Christopher Lee, who made a name for himself here with Striped Bass (now Butcher & Singer) before heading to NYC to run Gilt and Aureole, intends to open a seafood restaurant in Philly sometime in 2011. >> Schlesingerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s is the new name of Kibitz Room at 1521 Locust. The deli is now being run by the same folks who do Hymieâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s in Merion. Got A Tip? Please send restaurant news to drew.lazor@citypaper.net

or call 215-735-8444, ext. 218.


TODAY at

12 / 30/10

in The Shops at Liberty Place and The Gallery at Market East. Eat with us TODAY & SAVE your RECEIPT to get those same items FREE anytime in the NEW YEAR (2011)!!! Your receipt is your coupon so do not lose it!! Must be redeemed at the store the items were bought. Excludes non-food items.

Offer only good at:

Chosen Top 100 Chinese restaurant in the U.S.A for 2008 and 2009 by Chinese Restaurant News.

The Shops at Liberty Place. 1625 Chestnut Street – 2nd floor in the Food Court. 215-557-7853 The Gallery at Market East. 901 Market Street (enter at 10th & Market) in the lower level. in The Food Court.215-627-2652

food

Tai Lake Chinese Restaurant

classifieds

Great Food - Best Prices Best Seafood in Chinatown

Banquet Room

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Receipt Day

CITY PAPER’S ANNUAL

120 Guests Capacity Karaoke & Dance Floor Open 7 days a week 4:00 PM to 3:00 AM 215-922-0698

www.tailakeseafoodrest.com

134 N 10th St. Philadelphia, Pa 19107

RING IN THE NEW YEAR AT

WE WANT YOUR POETRY. WE WANT YOUR FICTION. WE WANT IT BY JAN. 19. FICTION: Stories should be 3,000 words or fewer and previously unpublished. No more than one submission per entrant. POETRY: One entry can consist of up to five poems.

WATKINS DRINKERY SPECIAL NYE SMALL PLATES

We’ll publish the winning entries in City Paper. Judges and prizes will be announced soon. Please include a processing fee of $5 made payable to City Paper Writing Contest at the address below or via PayPal to PAYPAL@CITYPAPER.net.

CHAMPAGNE TOAST

Stories should be e-mailed to gimmefiction@citypaper.net or mailed the old-fashioned way to:

1 7 1 2 S O U T H T E N T H S T R E E T K I T C H E N O P E N U N T I L 1 A M

City Paper Writing Contest 123 chestnut st, third floor . PHILADELPHIA, PA 19106

COMPLIMENTARY

AT MIDNIGHT

37

MORE INFO AT citypaper.net/writingcontest

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JOIN US AS WE

is back.


food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city classifieds

[ i love you, i hate you ] BEAUTY I think you are beautiful in more ways than one, I have a big crush on you, Even though there is a 17 year age difference between us I know I could make you happy,You are a goal oriented young woman which is turns me on even more than your physical beauty and you’re smart, your beautiful chocolate complexion makes me weak in the knees, Your’e 23 and I’m 40 but I don’t care because your maturity level is that of a 30 year old woman, I would never hurt you as a matter of fact if you were mine I’ll make you so happy you be floating in the air.

to listen. Someone to care. How much money has been spent in a psychiatrist office trying to attain that very thing. It’s not always in the cards for you. Sometimes you have to cheat. When you cheat though, you lose a little bit more of yourself every time. Before you know it you’re not looking at yourself at all anymore. You’re just staring at what you’ve become. In the end what we’ve become is all we will have left.

LOVE YOU My Moose, I can’t wait to hang all my snowy street soaked layers on your antlers and get warmed up

the Pa landlord tenant act. You are a poor management company and like to rip off there tenants when ever possible, including disabled people like myself. Do not reant with these people or you will be sorry.

RUN IN TO To the guy “T” that I ran into the other day on the train you were giving me the shish with your fingers when I said your name who do you think you are with you stupid ass! I know in my heart under your hat you were fucking bald headed! I think

WEATHER FORCASTERS

Hey baby let me know what you want to do and I love to hear from you more often! I love the fact that we have everything in common and we laugh at the same things! Email me when you get a chance...you know the email address! I love you and your my baby!

I LOVE YOU

WHAT FAMILY!

Thank you to the lady that drives the ford edge on route 309 and 202 in the Montgomeryville area. You have made my day and my co workers days by pulling up to our tractor trailers and playing with yourself and flashing us. Thank you soooo much! We will continue to look for you.

You fucking suck you supposed to be my cousin well you call yourself my brother and you aren’t you are shit to me! I don’t know what your problem is...you think just because you came out of the closet that someone or anyone really gives a fuck that you are gay! Nobody cares that you are gay and the fucking world doesn’t revolve around your fat ass! I am tired of you and the rest of your family calling me when something happens! You can eat a dick! Or no you would like that too much! You can choke on something small! I am tired of caring about certain situations that don’t make any sense with all of you! PS: If you knock on my door and I don’t answer it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize I don’t want to be the fuck bothered!

I SEEM TO HATE YOU!

D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t

To all my friends in tax rip off land. I hate to tell you but there is a new sheriff coming to town in January! and you will be gettting your SSI and food coupons will be cut off! So be warned and get off your fat lazy no good behinds and do something! I am getting tired of going into stores and standing in line and using your coupon card and look all stupd and shit! Sincerely! A tax payer that works very hard and it tired of the bullshit!

For all the people that are weather forecasters, who make millions of dollars, you should do everyone a favor in Philadelphia rip up your contracts and quit your jobs! You are a bunch of pathetic no-good lying bastards! you had me sitting up here all week thinking that there wans’t going to be no snow-storm. And then all of a sudden on Chirstmas night all of you are predicting a big snow storm! I got a suggestion for yall you need to go back to forecasting 101! Yours: Angry Viewer.

HEY BABY!

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TAXPAYER RIPOFF!

You know I thought to myself time and time again, do I like you or do I hate you and I have come to this conclusion that I do hate you and I have to admit that it feels fucking good to get the shit out of my system finally and do what comes natural! Stay away from your dumb ass and do what I need to do! I don’t want to be like someone that I know keep going back to the same old bullshit over and over again! It really doesn’t make any sense to do that! i just want you to stay away, go marry your bum bitch that fucked your brother! i think that you probably would of stood there and watched if you would of known, but you got what you deserved she fucked your brother now deal with it! Dummy!

WHAT THE FUCK! You called me and told me that you were happy that I called you for your little birthday! Who gives a fuck! I really don’t also it seems like you were throwing in my face that you are your fat bitch Regina are still together! I don’t care she will never fuck you like I did you and never care about you like I do! I can’t explain the fact that you are an asshole and I think that you know that you are an asshole! The dick was alright but nothing to brag about and I am not pressed! I hope since our schedules are conflicting...you and I will never cross paths again!

I WISH YOU WERE MINE! Damn, when we talked on the phone I thought to myself, I love him so much and I wish that we could have been together along time ago! It made me angry that you told me that you went and got married! What happened to you and me! I wanted us to be together and live and be happy but you fucked around and married that beast! I hate the fact that you are with someone else! I hate the fact that I can’t have you when I want you! I love the fact that you are coming up to Philly soon and you and I can be together! That is the only wonderful thing to me! We definitely belong together! You know it and I know it! I love you so much!

LOVE SICK INSOMNIA It is so funny. The way I feel now I have felt before, but every time it feels as if it is the first time. Disappointment. Betrayal. Worthlessness. You wish the other person so many bad things you wonder if you’ve lost sight of who you really are. In the long run that’s not what you want. You want that person to not just fall in line with your desired outcome, but to just listen and care. That’s all people really want out of life right? Someone

YOU BITCH! by your body heat. Am I taming you? Or are you taming me? I love you!

MAY I? I want to sit on your face in the worst way! You just don’t know when I see you I think about it and I say to myself, what am I supposed to do with my feelings and I know that you feel it too that is why you get so quiet when I ask you certain questions about where do we go from here! I am tired of dreaming about sitting on your face! How about we make this a reality and just let me do it and I will be the happiest person in the world! You know this so don’t act stupid!

REALTY SUCKS! You refused to return my key deposit in violation of

that you are a joke and I always did! It was obvious when I said your name the way that I did that I was happy to see your stupid ass! Oh, I can play phony also, just like you! I hope the girl that you were with, didn’t think that I was trying to pick you up because the same along time ago, I could care less, and as I said before, I was surprised that you spoke. The people from your class was shady and you still are!

SCANDALOUS Hey, Lots of bar owners screw their employees over, but not all of them ACTUALLY screw employees! And WTF, I mean couldn’t you pick a meeting spot that isn’t on the same damn street as your own bar? Way to keep your biz on the DL.

Your bitch has been calling me on my cell phone and she restricted her number and you calm that she got the phone number from your phone along time ago! Ok! If that is so true why the fuck is the bitch doing the shit now...calling my phone now! You are a fucking liar! I hate your ass, but then again I love your ass. Do us a big favor and just keep away from me because I just don’t want to be bothered with the bullshit anymore...enough is enough! Find someone else to borrow money from and do the other things that you have been doing! To place your FREE ad (100 word limit), go to citypaper.net/ILUIHU and follow the prompts. ADS ALSO APPEAR AT CITYPAPER.NET/lovehate. City Paper has the right to re-publish “I Love You, I Hate You”™ ads at the publisher’s discretion. This includes re-purposing the ads for online publication, or for any other ancillary publishing projects.


C a l l 2 1 5 - 7 3 5 - 8 4 4 4 f O r a d v e r t i s i n g i n f O r M at i O n place your free online classified ad atcitypaper.net/classifieds

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By Matt Jones

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“keyworDs” — plAyeD on the piAno

C l a s s i f i e d s d e a d l i n e s Billboard friday, 5 pM | adult friday, 12 pM all Other Classified Categories Monday, 4 pM POliCies: It is the responsibility of the Advertiser to check his or her ad the first time it runs. This newspaper can assume no

responsibility for errors beyond the first printing of the incorrect ad. City Paper will not be responsible for failure to insert an advertisement. City Paper reserves the right to edit advertising copy, graphics and photos.

adoptions PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION?

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Public notices EQUIPMENT

NEW Norwood SAWMILLSLumber/Mate-Pro handles l o g s 3 4 ” d i a m e t e r, m i l l s boards 28” wide. Automated quick-cycle-sawing increases efficiency up to 40%! www. NorwoodSawmills.com/300N. 1-800-661-7746 Ext 300-N.

automotive Marketplace AAAA+ Donation. Donate Your

DONATE VEHICLE RECEIVE $1000 GROCERY COUPON. NOAH’S ARC SUPPORT NO KILL SHELTERS, RESEARCH TO ADVANCE VETERINARY TREATMENTS. FREE TOWING, TAX DEDUCTIBLE. NON-RUNNERS ACCEPTED 1-866-912-GIVE. BEN TOWING 267-630-0824

Towing services in Philadelphia, PA 267-630-0824 www. bentowing.com Our Towing are reliable, fast, honest and reasonable.We have been serving Philadelphia since 2006. We have flat truck bed services and wheel lifts to tow any car, van or truck. When an accident happens, our trained staff and large fleet of tow trucks can handle any type of situation. We can guarantee towing at reasonable rates. As one of the largest towing companies in Philadelphia, we can handle all of your needs when you want to transport any car. tools to handle your vehicles with the utmost care. Ben Towing has delivered high value vehicles all over the Philadelphia area. We are proud of our towing safety records. Our goal is to provide Philadelphia Metro

CAR TOWING IN PhIlly

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lessons & Workshops EARN $75-$200 hOUR

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Business Opportunity AMBIT OffERS NEW MARkETING

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lulueightball By Emily Flake

Across 1 4 9 12 13 14 15 16 18 20 21 22 25 27 28 32 35 36 37 42 43 47 48 51 52 55 57 58 59

Recipe amt. Less leafy, like a tree Govt. group with a director Evening, in France “___ of Two Cities” “I got you good on that one!” ___ extra charge Mail-in payment Caught the villain, on the piano? “The Waste Land” poet How-___ (instruction guides) In ___ (hurried) Free letters in the “Wheel of Fortune” bonus round Audrey Tautou role Cole slaw left out in the sun, on the piano? Pet for Harry Potter Prince’s unpronounceable symbol, for one Boxing match div. Make a pop star eat the meat dress she wore, on the piano? Person with phobias Roots expose it Combine Getaway spot Winter month, in Mexico “Stayin’ Alive” is suddenly unhip, on the piano? Rips to shreds Sea eagle variety Storyline paths Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger,

60 61 62 63

for one Dipstick wipers Bug Full of lip Sault ___ Marie Canals

Down 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 14 17 19 23 24 26 27 29 30 31 32 33

Wrecks (a car) Encouragement to a vocalist Woods’ field Shakespeare, for one Troubled Filmdom’s “one man army” Sewing machine inventor Howe Like some generals: abbr. 2000s wireless company Ltd., in the States Mellow Swashbuckler’s sword Croatian capital Second side in a game, perhaps Sicilian volcano Omen Pay attention to Painter Degas Reacted to a trapeze artist Taina of “The Mirror Has Two Faces” “___ think so?” Annenberg/___ (nonprofit behind educational programming) “...long walk ___ short pier” Stash stuff

lAst week’s solution

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©2010 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

34 Trace (to) 38 Substances that make paint set more quickly 39 Trait carriers 40 Gave the look to 41 Wheel covers 44 Be derisive to 45 “___ you glad I didn’t say ‘banana’?” 46 Indicates 48 Shade in old pictures 49 Rings out 50 Fuzzy ‘dos 53 Hiatuses 54 Court figure: abbr. 55 ___ chi 56 Mess up

P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r | d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J a n u a r y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t |

AUTOS WANTED

AUTOS WANTED

customers with reliable and fast service 24/7. Our rates are low and reasonable. We strive to get to you in no longer then 20 to 30 minutes. Ben Towing has been servicing Philadelphia Metro since 2006. Our professional, helpful, and friendly staff will walk you through out the whole process. We are FULLY LICENSED and INSURED. Please call us for pricing. Please take a moment to browse through our site to learn more about. If unfortunately you are involved in a vehicle collision, for your convenience we can assist you in towing your vehicle to the nearest auto body repair shop, call 267-630-0824, in Philadelphia & Metro. We know that you have other choices in the area and we appreciate your consideration.Our hope is that you’ll feel confident in our ability to meet all of your expectations and know that our customers are always our number one in Philadelphia & Metro. Ben Tow Truck companies in Philadelphia 267-630-0824

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the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

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the

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food | the agenda | a&e | feature | the naked city

marketing group to promote our new service coming to Philly February 2011 look at this short video and decide if it’s for you www.philly.energy526.com no sales skills needed or required flexible hours part/full time possibility to work from home

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Home Services COMMERCIAL & OFFICE

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jobs

Help Wanted – General AIRLINES ARE HIRING:

Train for high paying Aviation Maintenance Career. FAA approved program. Financial aid if qualified-Housing available. CALL Aviation Institute of Maintenance (888) 8349715. AVON REPRESENTATIVES WANTED

46 | P H I L A D E L P H I A C I T Y PA P E R |

D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A R Y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C I T Y PA P E R . N E T

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CC Call Center looking for phone actresses to handle inbound calls. 24-hour facility offers an array of shifts to choose from, competitive pay and benefits package. Must be creative, open-minded, and articulate. HS diploma req. Auditions will be held soon. Call to reserve your spot today. Contact Carla 215-418-2616!

extensive freight network offers you: *Plenty of Miles. *Steady Freight. Call Prime Today! 1-800-277-0212 www. primeinc.com.

special report Call 1-800610-5816 anytime 24 hours a day! This report is courtesy of (Warren Nelson, American Real Estate & Insurance)

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R e e fe r, Ta n ke r, F l a t b e d Drivers Needed! Prime’s

Homes for Sale ELKINS PARK TUDOR TWIN

Move-in ready! 20 minute commute to Center City $199,900. Four bedrooms, refinished parquet floors, updated kitchen and bath, new windows, gardens front and back. LOW FICO LOW CASH... OK

(Special FREE Repor t!) How to Stop Paying Rent Forever... and Own a Home of Your Own!!! Paying rent is like pouring money down the drain! And... to most renters’ surprise... owning a home is a lot easier than they think! Home ownership has so many advantages: tax benefits, equity build up, pride of ownership, nobody telling you that you can’t do simple things... like have a pet... and... no strangers on the other side of paper thin walls! This free report reveals hidden secrets that will show you how to stop paying rent forever and own a home of your own. For Free Recorded Information and Your own FREE Copy of this

Meticulously restored and maintained 1920 row home in desirable Art Museum neighborhood features exposed brick, crown molding, cherry hardwood floors, and designer bathroom cabinetry. Each 9’ high-ceiling room is tastefully painted with recessed lighting and fully equipped for cable accessibility.The master bedroom offers separate “his & her” closets. The landscaped rear patio completes this truly move-in ready experience, allowing you the freedom to relax and enjoy the easy walk to Center City museums, nightlife, and more. Schedule an appointment by calling 267-614-5067 today.

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rentals

Apartments for Rent 3BR IN SOUTH PHILLY

Great 3 BR, 1.5 Bath on 2

floors for rent. Living room is open to kitchen (dishwasher) with new hardwood floors.This level also has full bathroom and big bedroom with plenty of closet space. Take the stairs up to two more bedrooms and a half bathroom with washer and dryer. Perfect for sharing... The neighborhood has a lot to offer: 1 block to the subway station, South Philly Tap Room a few blocks away, as is Passyunk Ave with all it’s new restaurants and bars... Available Feb 1st, asking $1260 plus utilities. (We will have to approve any pets...) Please email or call 215-2758204 Thank you. APARTMENT PETS WELCOMED

Queen Village 1 bedroom apartment your pets is welcome! Near transportation air big kitchen $800’s Locators 215.922.3400 APARTMENT YARD FOR PETS

University City 3 bedroom apartment private entrance large eat in kitchen yard pets ok! Locators 215.922.3400 AVENUE OF THE ARTS

No credit check! 1st floor house apartment near park! Yard, air conditioning, and pets are welcome! $500 Locators 215-922-3400 FREE RENT IN LANSDALE

$1250 HOLIDAY CASH with Jan.1 lease! Bright 2-br loft in quiet suburb with 12-foot ceilings and original hardwood floors in an old factory building. Nearly 1,100 square feet of space with open-concept living/dining/kitchen area and 9-foot historic windows. Appropriate for a couple or roomates, as two bedrooms are of identical size (large enough for our queen bed and two bureaus). We’ve loved this place, but need to move for a job transfer and can’t afford to carry double rent until our lease is up this spring, so we’re willing to PAY YOU ONE MONTH’S RENT ($1,250)if you select our unit and sign a one-year lease beginning Jan. 1, 2011. Amenities include: Full bath with tub. Dishwasher and disposal. Laundry just down the hall and cheaper than the laundromat. Free fitness room. Four closets plus a basement storage unit. Free parking for multiple vehicles. Pet friendly. Walkable to SEPTA R5 commuter line and just 30 min to Temple University stop. Walkable to downtown Lansdale restaurants and shopping. Contact me at mistye77@ gmail.com and I’ll show you our unit and introduce you to the leasing agent.Thanks, and happy holidays! LOW FICO * LOW CASH * OK

Special Announcement! Now

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In need of a short term rental? Large one bedroom with separate office available now. Sixty day minimum lease. Option to give notice to vacate at move in or stay monthly and provide a sixty day written notice when ready to vacate. $1,525.00/ month plus utilities. Parking included. 215.482.4889 theglenapartments.net NORTHERN LIBERTIES

Renovated apartment with a new kitchen and bath! Central air and storage! $500’s Locators 215-922-3400 QUEENS VILLAGE $1295.00

$1295 / 2 br - !!!!!FIRST MONTH FREE!!!!!! - Queens Village FIRST MONTH FREE 2 Bedroom, Charming, Beautiful, Split Level apartment on a historical street, in prime location of the city. Includes new hardwood floors, 1 baths, heat and air conditioning, full kitchen, dishwasher, garbage disposal, ceiling fans, bright and airy, lots of windows, plenty of day light. Washer, dryer and storage located in basement. .

Located on a beautiful historic tree lined street. $1295.00 plus utilities, Available January 1, 2011. FIRST MONTH FREE Please call Albert (215) 205-7900 SUNNY 1BD/1BA BELLA VISTA

Sunny 1 bd/1ba with new dishwasher, new w/d (in unit), central heat & a/c, corner of 8th and montrose sts. Pets allowed with deposit, lots of street parking (no permit necessary) 518-364-8456. $824/month. Avail. 2/1

Studio/ Efficiency CENTER CITY

Utilities paid! Studio apartment! Appliances! Bring your pet! $500’s Locators 215922-3400 CENTER CITY UTILITIES PAID

Center City Utilities included in rent! Studio apartment “Appliances” Bring your pet! $500’s Locators 215.922.3400

apar tment! High ceilings! Utilities paid! Patio and nice yard! Pets welcome! $700’s Locators 215-922-3400 MANAYUNK

Utilities included in the rebnt! 1 bedroom renovated apartment with appliances and storage! $650 Locators 215922-3400 MANSION APARTMENT

Historic Germantown 1 bedroom mansion apartment! high ceilings utilities paid $700’s Locators 215.922.3400 NOT ENOUGH $$ TO BUY A HOME

NOT ENOUGH $$$ TO BUY A HOME? You’d be surprised how little you really need! If you have limited cash but the desire, we can help! Jump on the bandwagon before it pulls away! Call to find out how! Home Hot Line @ 1 800 610-5816 QUEEN VILLAGE

One Bedroom

1 bedroom apartment where your pet is welcome! Near transportation! Air and a big kitchen! $800’s Locators 215922-3400

15TH/SPRUCE

TEMPLE 1 BEDROOM

Beautiful Art Deco High-rise 1Bdrm Apt, Desk Attendant, HW Flrs, Updated Kitch, Onsite Laundry, Intercom Entry, Amazing Location! From $1080/Mo. 215-735-8030. Lic #219789. 15th/Spruce: Huge 1Bdrm in Beautiful Brownstone, Large Rooms, Abundant Closet Space, Moder n Kitchen, Walk-In Cedar Closet, Laundry, Intercom Entry. $955/Mo. 215-735-8030. lic# 380139 ART MUSEUM

Have pets??? 1 bedroom renovated house apartment! Hardwood floors and basement! $700 Locators 215922-3400 BUSTLETON

Renovated 1 bedroom house apartment! Parking, walk in closets, and air conditioning! $600’s Locators 215-9223400 CASTOR GARDENS

1st floor renovated 1 bedroom duplex apartment! Near transportation! Has parking, a yard, and pets are welcome! $500 Locators 215-922-3400 CHELTENHAM/ELKINS PARK

Renovated 1 bedroom apartment Dishwasher, Hardwood, or W/W Carpet Air conditioned, Near Transportation, Shopping Easy commute to Center City Philadelphia (215) 395-6611 HISTORIC GERMANTOWN

1 bedroom historic mansion

12th & Susquehanna 1 Bedroom sublet in house shared with 6 guys (share bath with only one other). Recently renovated, available Jan 1 to July 31. Very cheap $430/mo + utils.

Two Bedrooms 2BR 2BA WITH PARKING

Olde City 2 bedroom 2 bath Home! Parking appliances “restored hardwood floors” yard lovely high ceilings patio “washer/dryer” $1100’s Locators 215.922.3400 2BR IN UNIVERSITY CITY

University City 2 bedroom apartment fenced yard patio washer/dryer basement bring pets $600 Locators 215.922.3400 CENTER CITY

2 bedroom home with central air and is near a park! Large kitchen! $900’s Locators 215922-3400 NOT ENOUGH $$ TO BUY A HOME

NOT ENOUGH $$$ TO BUY A HOME?You’d be surprised how little you really need! If you have limited cash but the desire, we can help! Jump on the bandwagon before it pulls away! Call to find out how! Home Hot Line @ 1 800 610-5816 OLDE CITY

2 bedroonm 2 bath home! Parking, all appliances! Restored hardwood floors! Yard! lovely high ceilings! Patio and washer & dryer! $1100’s Locators 215-922-3400

ticket from the Eat or drink anything good this weekend? We want to hear about it! citypaper.net/notes


3 bedroom bring pets!

Manayunk Have pets? 3 bedroom 2 story huose yard basement hardwood floors washer/dryer $1200 Locators 215.922.3400 Art mUseUm

A 8XXX mercer st. (FisHtoWn)

BEAUTIFULLY MODERN 3 BEDROOM ROW-HOME, N E W LY R E M O D E L E D, BACKYARD, BASEMENT, AVAILABLE IMMEDIATELY. $1100 A MONTH + UTILITIES. CLOSE TO CENTER CITY & OLD CITY. 215-498-2383.

3 bedroom apartment with a great granite kitchen! Beautiful hardwood floors! Parking and a fenced yard for pets! Patio and full basement! Washer & dryer! $1200 Locators 215922-3400

HoUse WitH HUge YArd!

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South Philadelphia Very Nice Street! Modern 3 bedroom 2 story home! yard $750 Locators 215.922.3400

FAirmoUnt

4 bedroom renovated apartm e n t ! Pa r k i n g a n d n e a r transpor tation! All appliances! $800’s Locators 215922-3400 FitLer sQUAre

3 bedroom 2 bath 2 story home! Hardwood floors! Near park! Full basement! Pets welcome! Washer & dryer! Beautiful city views! Locators 215-922-3400 grAdUAte HospitAL

Rehabbed 3 bedroom 2 story house! Hardwood floors! Yard and dishwasher $900’s Locators 215-922-3400 mAnAYUnK

Have pets??? 3 bedroom 2 story house with a yard and full basement! Washer & dryer! Hardwood floors! $1200 Locators 215-922-3400 moUnt AirY

No credit check! Spacious 3 bedroom 2 story house with the fee paid! Basement, parking, patio and a washer & dryer! Pets are welcome! $900 Locators 215-922-3400 port ricHmond HoUse!

no Libs HoUse WitH A YArd

Northern Liberties 2 story house 4 bedroom Good location yard $1495 Locators 215.922.3400

Summerdale 3 bedroom 2 story home basement garage hardwood floors $850 Locators 215.922.3400 4br neAr trAnsportAtion!

215.670.9535

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Lawncrest 3+ bedroom home Rent to Own! Yard patio pets ok $800 Locators 215.922.3400 singLe Home Fenced YArd

Oaklane 3 bedroom Single house fenced yard basement Near transportation $800’s Locators 215.922.3400

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Don’t Pay Another Cent in Rent to Your Landlord Before You Read This FREE Special Report! To order your FREE copy of this report call 1 800 610-5816 stop pAYing rent

STOP Paying Rent and Own

47

Northern Liberties “4 bedroom 2 story house” Near transportation! Hardwood floors yard basement $1400’s Locators 215.922.3400

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3br WitH A gArAge!

267-972-1398. 215-744-2131 Fax 3711 Sepviva Street Philadelphia, PA. 19137

Temple University Rent to Own 4 bedroom 2 story home fenced yard washer/dryer hardwood floors $900’s Locators 215.922.3400

tempLe UniversitY 3 bedroom

Rhawnhurst Area 4 bedroom 2 story house patio basement parking $1000 Locators 215.922.3400

South Philadelphia No credit check 1st floor apartment off street parking pets ok $700’s Locators 215.922.3400

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Free Report Reveals How To Stop Paying Rent Forever And Own a Home Of Your Own! Philadelphia, PA - A free report has just been released that shares startling new ways to stop paying rent and own a home of your own. Call 1-800610-5816, 24 hrs,for a recorded message and a free copy of this report. Call and find out what your landlord is hoping you never read about!

Enormous 3bdrm w/ 2 Full Baths in Beautiful Historic Brownstone, Full Size Washer/ Dryer in Apt, HW Flrs, 2 Decorative Fireplaces, Hi Ceilings, Newly Remodeled Kitchen w/ Granite Countertop, Separate Dining Rm, Living Rm, & Family Rm, A/C, Spacious Rooms, Terrific Location! $2650/Mo. 215-735-8030. #216850

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Temple University Renovated 2 story 3 bedroom house yard Near transportatin basement washer/dryer $700’s Locators 215.922.3400

Don’t Pay Another Cent in Rent to Your Landlord Before zYou Read This FREE Special Report! To order your FREE copy of this report call 1 800 610-5816

Don’t Pay Another Cent in Rent to Your Landlord Before zYou Read This FREE Special Report! To order your FREE copy of this report call 1 800 610-581

P h i l a d e l P h i a C i t y Pa P e r | d e c e m b e r 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J a n u a r y 6 , 2 0 1 1 | C i t y Pa P e r . n e t |

Por t Richmond No credit check 3 bedroom 2 stor y house yard $700’s Locators 215.922.3400

modern Home nice street

not enoUgH $$ to bUY A Home

not enoUgH $$ to bUY A Home

classifieds

Unique floor plan! 3 bedroom 2 story house! Patio! Finished basement, formal dining room and an eat in kitchen! $725 Locators 215-922-3400

Ger mantown No credit check! 3 bedroom house huge yard! $700’s Locators 215.922.3400

Your Own Home Turn rent payments into mor tgage payments. WE CAN HELP!! Just call our toll-free number 1 800-610-5816 Warren Nelson Home Selling Team Location: Philadelphia, Bucks & Montgomery Counties

the naked city | feature | a&e | the agenda | food

three+ Bedrooms


billboard [ C I T Y PA P E R ]

D E C E M B E R 3 0 , 2 0 1 0 - J A N U A RY 6 , 2 0 1 1 CALL 215-735-8444

GET $150

PER

VISIT SEEKING HEALTHY COLLEGE EDUCATED MALES AGE 18-39

Building Blocks to Total Fitness

12 Years of experience. Offering personal fitness training, nutrition counseling, and flexibility training. Specialize in osteoporosis, injuries, special needs. In home or at 12th Street Gym. Infokol@aol.com

MAKE US AN OFFER WE CANâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T REFUSE SALE! FRANKINSTIEN BIKE WORX 215-893-0415 1529 SPRUCE STREET BREAK AWAY FROM BOUTIQUE PRICES AND SERVICE!

Business coaching

can help you make decisions with more clarity, achieve your goals more quickly, and do so with less stress. Free half-hour consultation â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 215 806 8319

TEQUILA SUNRISE RECORDS

WAITERS

525 West Girard Ave VINYL AND CD SPECIALISTS CLASSIC & MODERN GLOBAL SOUNDS HOUSE TECHNO DUBSTEP DUB DISCO FUNK SOUL JAZZ DIY PUNK LSD ROCK AND LIGHT HARMONY ROOTS BLUES NOISE AVANT AND MORE TUESDAY-SUNDAY 12-6PM 01-215-965-9616

Do you tip out kitchen staff? Tip out managers? I BUY RECORDS, CDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S, DVDâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S Pay for uniforms? TOP PRICES PAID. No collection too small or large! We buy everyPay for breakage? thing! Call Jon at 215-805-8001 or Work Overtime? e-mail dingo15@hotmail.com

www.877tippool.com TELE:

877.TIP.POOL

DEBES LAW FIRM HOUSTON, TX

DANCERS WANTED

Flexible hours, will train, no experience necessary, excellent pay, safe/secure environment. Call (609) 707-6075

BLUEBOND MUSIC SCHOOL

NOW ACCEPTING STUDENTS Guitar, Bass, Drums,Vocals 511 S.4th St. 215.829.1690 www.bluebondguitars.com

Private Yoga Sessions

Ideal for beginners looking for individual attention email for more information sascat3@gmail.com

STUDY GUITAR W/ THE BEST All Styles All Levels. Former Berklee faculty member. Masters Degree with 25 yrs. teaching experience. 215.831.8640 www.davidjoel.net

IS YOUR PET MISBEHAVING?

More often than you may realize, this behavior is caused by past life events intruding on the present day subconscious. Get your pet the help he or she needs. Call CORKY the Pet Psychic. (215) 555-1490

ROXY GUITAR

Premier Boutique Guitar Shop. 7026 Ridge Ave 19128 215-483-1889

FAST FORWARD

SILK CITY

Jamie Moffett Media Design & Production Motion picture, promotionals, music videos http://jamiemoffett.com

DINER â&#x20AC;˘ LOUNGE

12.31.10

SEMEN DONORS NEEDED Healthy, College Educated Men 18-39 ~ $150/Sample WWW.123DONATE.COM

SILK CITY & D24K PRESENT:

MIGHTY (newyears!)

w./DANNY KRIVIT OPENING SET BY DEL & DIRTY 9pm | tickets at tinyurl.com/mightynewyears or at Silk City

Open every day 4pm - 2am Sat & Sun Brunch 10am - 4pm 5th & Spring Garden www.silkcityphilly.com

Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Not A Tech Head....

but youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;d like to make life easier with the help of technology. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know where to start? Whether you own a small business, or just need some advice for home, Guidewire can help. Let Guidewire assist you in finding the perfect technology oriented solution you need today. wayne@guidewireservices.com

Sexual Intelligence

Guaranteed-quality, Body-safe, Sexuality Products, Lubricants, Fetish Equipment, Educational Resources SEXPLORATORIUM 620 South 5th Street www.passionaltoys.com

RECLAIMED TIMBER BENCHES ON STEEL LEGS Designed by local architect. Hand made with an elegant emphasis on detail to connections & materiality. Great for dining rooms, kitchens, the foot of the bed or your garden. For inquires & literature, call 215.923.1115

AFFORDABLE WEBSITES For small businesses and organizations. www.deaconh.com 610-213-8517

HOOKAH BAR/RESTAURANT HIDDEN CAFE 328 SOUTH STREET (215) 413-2486

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The 300 Greatest Beers Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve Never Hadâ&#x20AC;?

@VT[ b] Na 5.93<3312=<A0<:=5699F a\ OR ž_`a a\ YRN_[ NO\ba [Rd QRNY` QV`P\b[a` N[Q TVcRNdNf`

136 Chestnut St. Philadelphia, PA 215.413.1918 www.eulogybar.com

2740 S Front St . Philadelphia    215-467-1980

Philadelphia City Paper, December 30th, 2010  

Philadelphia's Trusted News and Entertainment Source.

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