PHF Magazine October 2017
Break the Silence Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Author Interview with Simply Mary.
s t o o B e s e h T e d a M e r e W g n i k l a W r o F
Healing through Mindfulness
CONTENTS Break the Silence Domestic Violence Awareness Month Page 3
Author Interview with Simply Mary. Page 4
Healing through Mindfulness Page 6
These Boots Were Made For Walking Page 8
PHF Magazine October 2017
This month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. More women die from Domestic Violence than breast cancer, statistically Domestic Violence is the leading cause for homelessness! It's not gender based, it does stereotype, it effects men, women and children. That's why Precious Hearts Foundation works hard to help those in need. You can contact via our website and Facebook. We are here for you!
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Interview with Mary of the band
Simply Mary I would like to introduce you to Mary of the band, Simply Mary. Her survival story is amazing, which you can tell when you listen to her songs. She wrote the album in dedication to all Domestic Violence survivors.. Hello Mary, I'm so happy you were able to do an interview for us...
How would you describe your music and why did you choose that genre? This has always been the most difficult answer to give anyone who asks me. I really don’t stick to just one specific genre of music. I have pieces of Blues, Rock, Funk, Swing, Rock and Americana all blended together. What is the ‘back story’ to your album and title? The Album “Freedom Bound” Dedicated to Survivors of Domestic Violence was sparked due to my own experience with Domestic Violence. I put the album together after being forced to flee the area where my offender was repeatedly breaking the Protection From Abuse Order put in place by the Courts. After the third attempt by my offender, I decided to relocate alone due to his inability to abide by the law for mine and my children’s best interest. We have been separated since Christmas Night of 2013.
What made you want to become a singer? Music has always been a part of my life ever since I could reach the keys of my mom’s piano. I was always eager to learn new instruments. Once I was allowed to sing for my parochial school choir, being a vocalist was always a vision. I laid low until my Senior year in high school when I joined Show Choir and surprised all of my friends who never knew I sang! Did you employ a producer/studio? I was able to take the songs I wrote from my experience and be blessed to have someone invest in a professional studio recording of all 14 tracks at TallCat Studios, LLC. in Phoenix, AZ. The process was very difficult to complete as I had never been in a professional studio before. It took nearly one year and quite a team to get the job done. PHF Magazine October 2017
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Are you self-published? Why did you choose to publish this way? Technically I am not self publishing at this time. I am currently tossing around an offer to go with a reputable company but I still have research to do to make the best decision possible.
Do you have any hints or tips that you have found in marketing? You have to work hard if you want to market for free. This means creating a plan and following that plan every single day tailored to the results you are looking for. Use ALL the Social Media platforms available to you as in today’s world, the internet rules everything.
What was your most amazing moment in writing your songs? The most amazing moment while I was writing, I guess I really can’t call any of the moments “amazing” as this album is so full of emotions that run very deep. It was definitely a trying time filled with many mixed emotions. I would say the most touching moment was the way I found my room mate Pat. A complete stranger took me in and helped me, someone who truly understood.
If your story and your music was to be made into a movie which actor would you like to play the leading role? I would surely choose Mariska Hagharty! That woman could portray so much, she is a Survivor too!
Is there a sequel new album in the works? There won’t be a sequel to this Album, but there is new material surfacing that may surprise everyone. I am going to start to lean to a new style that I never thought I would enjoy so much.
Do you have an inspirational, motivating or funny anecdote you would like to share? “If you want something done you have to do it yourself!”.
Thank you for this interview Mary! If you want to check out Simply Mary, her website is: www.simplymarymusic.com
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Healing through Mindfulness A little while ago I stumbled on an article about Mindfulness. I had seen the topic been raised quite a lot recently and kept dismissing it. Seriously, Mindfulness? I didn’t seem to make much sense to me, after all, we like to think of ourselves as mindful every day, right? I imagined it was only about being kind and empathetic to people around me, I was wrong.
What is Mindfulness? It is meditation, concentrating on the breath and being fully focused on the present moment. It is empathy on yourself and in times of anxiety, stress, depression, pain, it is a way of holding the emotion and breathing through it, of holding the thought through breath and examining the emotion, dissecting it, breaking it apart and putting it back together. Doing this helps the brain understand the emotions you are feeling. It can become very in depth, emotional and healing.
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Experience on Mindfulness. When I was a child, my ‘go to escape’ place was the bathroom with its wonderful lock on the door. After all, you don’t want many people are going to walk in on you there! I could sit for a few minutes in solitude, I would let my eyes relax into soft focus and let my mind drift, my breathing would slow down and I could feel the tension in my body, which emotions had tensed. It was usually my stomach had tensed. I would visualize a small rotating ball of light, put together with fine strings holding it together. I would pull it apart and dig deep into how I was feeling. Once, it had all been scrutinized and I understood where and why the anxieties and pain I was feeling made sense, I would visual putting it all together again. After it was put back together I imagined it was now whole, no strings spilling out, looking disheveled or unraveled. It was now a beautiful shining ball of white light. I would imagine placing back into myself rather like a beacon of love and I would feel calm and relaxed, I would be ready to face my world again. I remember doing this as young as five. This simple exercise as helped me so many times over the years, to help me regain control over pain and abuse. However, it had always been ‘mine’, my secret place to heal internally. Now, I’m not suggesting you run off to the bathroom there are better ways and means which I discovered!
'Always remember this is for
YOU, no-one else, this is your special time alone.'
Where to practise Mindfulness. Anywhere! Anywhere where you feel at peace. I have read a lot about how people buy special padded stools on a padded mat, tilted forward for maximum comfort, or rounds pads to sit on, some just plain comfy, some sending out natural scents and ions into the atmosphere around you. Personally, I believe it is where ever YOU feel comfortable and safe, whether it be the throne in the bathroom, lying down on your bed, your favourite chair or if the weather is beautiful and you will not be disturbed, go outside and enjoy nature, while you still and delve deep into your emotions. Always remember this is for YOU, no-one else, this is your special time alone. It can last for a couple of minutes when you get good at it or nearly an hour! You can take your time for your healing. Are there rules to Mindfulness?
No, in actual fact there are none. Some may say there are but really there isn’t…. How can you place rules on emotions? Abusers place rules on emotions and that’s what we are trying Have you tried Mindfulness? to heal! I didn’t sit there as a five-yearold thinking ‘well I need to sort out why I Would you want to know more? feel like this … but first I must adhere to the rules!’ A five-year-old doesn’t think Would you find it difficult because of ADD, that way, just wants to find healing from ADHD or OCD and would need help to find a an abusive parent! calm mind for meditation? 7 PHF Magazine October 2017
These Boots Were Made For Walking
I want to talk about something we literally don’t think about much when we are stressed_walking. I know, what you are going to say “Walking, a stress reliever?” When I lived in England, I walked every day, to the car, I couldn’t park directly outside my little cottage as it was so close to a harbour. If I was going to the shops, solicitors, to the bank, I walked. I loved it, call me crazy but it was especially wonderful on soft, rainy days. When I had run my errand and returned home, it felt, warm, cosy, a place of sanctuary. Then I moved to New York. People would ask me at first if I needed a ride. My reply was “It’s only down the road, a mile or two.” The looks I got! “You want to… Walk?” People looked at me as if I suddenly had grown two heads. Recently, I had asked my husband if he wanted to go for a walk with me, he said yes. I was planning it for the evening, to get wrapped up warm against the cold, night air and just walk. As the day progressed he came back to me saying “We are not going as far the village, right?”
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Our village is a twenty-minute walk away. I told him no, but asked what did it matter if it was? “I’m not going that far!” he retorted. The answer was pretty simple, “Then, first of all, don’t go that far if you don’t want and secondly, I’m not planning on ‘going anywhere’ I go where my mind and feet take me, so don’t do that whole planning out a stroll for Claire thing. That’s not going to work. Or, you could simply stay home.” He looked puzzled trying to work out which option to go with. Later that day, we went for a walk, our feet did, in fact, take us to the village, where we found the pizza parlour was selling slices of pizza for a dollar. See? We can find wonderful, unexpected surprises when we walk. We meet new people, discover cheap little deals and giveaways, which we wouldn’t have found had we been in the car. The sad fact is some people just cannot fathom the how wonderful just simple walking can be for your soul. It brings with it an inner calmness. We are all so busy rushing around trying to accomplish our daily tasks we don’t consider taking twenty minutes out of our day to quite simply, walk. Did you know that going for a twentyminute walk can actually send your brain into a meditative state? I can’t remember now where I read it, but there was actually a study was done in the UK which found that walking through green spaces like a park or a woodland can calm the mind so much that it actually went into a state of meditation! They stated that it triggers an “Involuntary attention”. This simply put means that although you see everything around, our brain can actually find space for reflection too, which in turn all brings your mind into an inner quietness. It basically means going for a walk is like cleaning out the cupboards in your mind. Spring cleaning for the mind and it’s free too! It basically sparks the nerve cells in your brain, which relaxes the senses. In other words, a walk makes you sparkle!
“Walking is man's best medicine.” Hippocrates PHF Magazine October 2017
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Especially, when gyms can be stressful for people like us who have PTSD or CPTSD. When I think of joining a gym it brings back memories of the last time I went to one. Call it paranoia if you like, but it felt like people were looking to see how many weights was I lifting? Was I doing the dance move wrong in aerobics? Did I look too fat? Too skinny? Were people laughing at what I was wearing? No, sorry, gyms are not for me. When I go for a walk it really is as simple as pulling on my shoes and coat and walking through the door to the outside world. There is nothing cheaper or stress less as that. Did you also know that it can also help alleviate mild depression? When we walk briskly, we create endorphins, just like going to a gym, so it boosts our self-esteem, self-awareness, our memory, attention span, energy levels and best of all our mood. If you are feeling tired and fatigued, a walk will wake you up. Depression and anxiety are exhausting, right? If you go for a simple walk, over time it will lift, leaving you feeling more awake, alert and full of energy for the rest of the day. Walking with friends has been shown that it lowers blood pressure and hormone cortisol levels which in turn, enables us to become more “Stress Resistant”, along creating stronger social bonds with our friends. It has been proven scientifically that walking is good for us. You can now join the Walking Movement” and when someone asks where you are going just simply say the old adage “I’m going to go clear my head!” because that’s exactly what you are doing! Walk on, my friend, walk on…
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Quick Update on the Clarified Lifeline Panic Device We have an update on the Clarified Lifeline. It will now be working off pKO Cells and RFID chips. What does this mean? You can get a call out for help anywhere! We are even connecting with Channel 7, so if you are on a boat you can still get a signal out for help! It is totally encrypted, which changes every four nanoseconds, this stops anyone trying to intercept or hack a signal to the Police. The signal or 'Call for Help” is answered by the Police, giving the victim peace of mind knowing help is on its way. The RFID chip notifies the Police exactly where the victim is via GPS, which connects only when the victim needs help. It is so advanced it will signal the location, not only outside but also if the victim is inside, which room they are in. A vibration motor is triggered notifying the wearer that the call for help has been answered. Giving the wearer peace of mind that emergency services are on their way. It also records and time stamps the evidence for use in court. What if you are not “in area” for a signal? This is what happens for most Panic Devices out there in the marketplace. They rely on phone signals, that makes it really difficult to put out a distress call for help. Not with Clarified Lifeline. It is basically, a microcomputer and talks to the server and the cloud, therefore you could be in a valley, standing in the wilderness... the Nevada desert ... Your distress call will be answered. This brings peace of mind to the wearer because many times when a violent altercation is happening the wearers' cell phone is often broken, stamped on and smashed. The offender believes all communication is lost for the victim when a phone is broken, believing he or she is safe. Many Panic Devices are connected to the users' cell phones in order to work. If the signal to the cell phone is broken or the Panic Device is broken then no help is coming. Some Panic Devices connect to the cell phone and have a “Call a Friend” feature, the friend then has to listen in and decide whether to call the Emergency Services. Friends are wonderful, but do you really want your life in your friends' hands? With them wondering if you are being attacked or not? Or worse still, what if your friend doesn't hear their phone ring? Not good! Not safe and far too complicated! How does it put out the call for help? Simple now, it works on bio-metrics! The Clarified Lifeline App helps the wearer with Mindfulness, Meditation and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, all known to reduce stress and anxiety, therefore helping the wearer cope and understand Mental Health, lowering the risks of PTSD. There is a Community Forum for victims and survivors to connect and support each other. A Journal and Picture Folder.
For more information visit: www.clarifiedlifeline.com PHF Magazine October 2017
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ABUSE IS NEVER OKAY IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS A VICTIM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE, CALL 9-1-1 OR YOUR LOCAL DOMESTIC ABUSE SHELTER
1-877-731-2210 FLAGLER BEACH EMERGENCY SHELTER FOR MEN
PALM COAST EMERGENCY SHELTER FOR WOMEN AND CHILDREN
THE ABUSE STOPS HERE! WWW.PRECIOUSHEARTSFOUNDATION.ORG PHF Magazine October 2017
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