consulting
Saying Goodbye Certified pet loss counselor Alicia Obando explains how and why she helps pet owners after bidding their final farewells
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© Can Stock Photo/bakhurmikele
Pets are a constant presence in their owners’ lives and people often experience complex and profound feelings of grief at their loss
ecause cats and dogs have much shorter lifespans than those of their owners, pet owners frequently face pet loss (Tzivian, Friger & Kushnir, 2015). If you’ve had the unfortunate experience of losing a pet, which happens to all pet parents sooner or later, then you may have heard a phrase similar to one of these: “You can always just get another cat,” or, “It’s time to move on. It was just a dog.” Many people who don’t have pets, or who don’t see their pets as integral family members, may not understand why the loss can be so hard. A grieving pet parent may even not understand the feelings themselves. They may feel silly talking about it or seeking help to process it. According to Tzivian et al. (2015), the loss of a pet may be “very stressful to the owner, whether these deaths were caused by euthanasia, accident, or by the progress of illness. The longer one has a pet, the greater the attachment can become, and this strong attachment may provoke a distress reaction upon a pet’s death. Many people grieve for their pets in much the same way as they do for the deaths of their friends. Families are known to experience a range of emotions in response on the loss of animal, such as a deep sense of sadness, grieving, crying, and even depression.” For many pet parents, their pet was a daily source of love and companionship that is now suddenly gone. This loss can sometimes be harder than losing a friend or family member who wasn’t such a constant presence in their lives. Pets give unconditional love in a way that most humans do not or even cannot. This is what makes our relationship with them so special. This relationship can be especially crucial for those living alone or with physical or mental challenges that the pet has helped them handle. For some people, caring for their pet gives their lives purpose. They feel useful and needed in the caring of their pet. Sometimes their pet also allows them to feel more connected to others in their community. To suddenly lose a companion like this can be devastating, and many may not feel that they have anyone in their lives to turn to when it happens. A study by Barnard-Nguyen, Breit, Anderson and Nielsen (2016) found that pet owners often experience “complex and profound grief reactions when their animals are euthanized.” They also sought to identify factors related to the three grief reaction subtypes: sorrow, anger, and guilt with results indicating that attachment to pets was a strong predictor of feelings of grief/sorrow and anger. Sudden death was also related to feelings of anger, while cancer diagnosis was negatively related to feelings of anger and guilt (Barnard-Nguyen et al., 2016).
Pet Loss Support As a child and pet care educator, I help families of all sizes care for their pets in a way that keeps everyone safe, healthy and happy. I help people integrate a new pet into the home, provide pet care services, teach dog safety classes and help people manage pet care concerns. For me, it only made sense that I also helped people with one of the hardest pet care concerns of all, the loss of their pet. As a former child and family therapist, offering therapeutic support was something I was familiar with. I found an organization that provided an intensive five-week course to get certified as a pet loss counselor. So now I have added pet loss support as one of the services I provide. It's important to distinguish this role from the role of a therapist. I
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BARKS from the Guild/July 2019