becoming the th
26 man
the personal style guide of Teddy Roosevelt
For Justin Wilkes, who always told me to laugh at myself.
guide of infinite importance to those sons and daughters of these fifty United States Aof style America who desire to share the legacy of Teddy
Roosevelt, Becoming the 26th Man is intended to provide a framework for successfully following the footsteps of one of this country’s greatest.
Contents Forward
I
Type Like Your Words Mean Something
1
Color Me Teddy
5
May I Take Your Photograph, Mr. Roosevelt?
11
Tone & Diction, or the Art of Speaking Like a President
15
Fashion for the Classic 26er
19
Forward
F
orward, indeed. That is the direction our country has always moved, thanks in no small part to those brave folks who have stood at the helm. Forty four souls have led us ever forward, but among the greatest has been our twenty sixth and greatest president-Mr. Theodore Roosevelt.
o lead a nation is no small feat, but Teddy’s Tlegend is that of a truly I
humble man made great by determination, boundless energy, and a life-long committment to the betterment of our country. His persona is classic and admirable, and it should serve as an archetype for the way forward for each of us.
style guide, for those of us that need Tit, his shall serve as a single
guidepost along the way. By flipping through these few short pages, you will not become a paragon of considered, willful action. You will not instantly become as beloved as our 26th man. There is much work involved, but it is that struggle which is our proving grounds to show our greatness.
Theodore Roosevelt, man.
men have had their faces carved Fintoew mountains for the ages to remember--but with Teddy Roosevelt as our standard-bearer, we should hope to see a day when all men and women are deserving of having their likenesses cast in stone for every tomorrow.
is not great because of the wars Ait merica has fought, for the achievements of its most scientific minds, or for its
advances in technology. America is only great because of the people who have made it great. The men and women of this country who have lived justly, sought wisdom over power, and who have shown grace and humility are the foundations of our greatness. Friends, strive to achieve a life that will inspire others to greatness. President Roosevelt, circa 1901.
II
type like your words mean something 1
Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
2
Logo & type
There is a certain amount of respect associated with acting as a 26er. By using this style guide as a manual for life, you become eligible to display the 26th Man logotype as part of you personal communications. This privilege is bound by certain rules, which you should adhere to religiously (that is, once a week for two hours). The rules laid forth herein are law, and it is truly your discretion whether they are followed are not. May your punishment be swift and extremely painful should you decide to deviate from them, you sick deviant and unrepentant pervert. 1/2 X
26 man th
X
3
When using the 26th Man logotype, it is required that an exclusion zone be utilized that is equal to one half the proportionate width of the paired numerals 2 and 6. Should anything fall within the exclusion zone, do not be surprised to find your family in pieces in your front yard as you shamble out your front door in early morning haze to fetch the paper before your dog unceremoniously pees on it.
There are two approved typefaces for use in any form of written communication that is not hand-written. These are DEATHE MAACHE, as seen above, which is to be used for headlines, sub heads, and other display purposes; and Brawler, as seen below, which is to be used for body copy, captions, and appendices to doctoral dissertations.
4
color me teddy
5
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.
6
A palette, Appealling
Color is that which separates us from the gray-eyed ravenous hounds that nip at our heels in our nightmares (if you have nightmares about cute little puppies). The palette utilized by a 26er is determined for you, so that you may exist in simple bliss, surrounded by the comfortable glow of Theodore Roosevelt’s personal rainbow, ripped from the heavens by his calloused palms.
For specific color values, please refer to the animal menagerie on page 8, where each one of Teddy’s murdered vertebrates correlates to one of the colors of his personal rainbow. It’s as if the souls of the slain have been compressed into a pigment and mixed with the tears of conservationists to create the most beautiful and rarest of paints.
7
Pantone P 101-16 C CMYK 100/94/0/60 RGB 7/7/78
Pantone P23-12C CMYK 36/44/56/29 RGB 130/109/90
Pantone P 7-2 C CMYK 0/4/20/0 RGB 255/241/208
Pantone P 159-12 C CMYK 25/0/52/31 RGB 144/165/114
Pantone P 46-8 C CMYK 0/94/92/22 RGB 193/49/348
Pantone P 95-7 C CMYK 60/79/0/39 RGB 84/52/111 8
May i take your photograph, Mr. Roosevelt? 11
It is only through labor and painful effort, by grim energy and resolute courage, that we move on to better things.
12
let’s all pose for a quick snap
It is important when using photography in a 26er publication to follow some simple, well considered ground rules. As Teddy Roosevelt was a man with black and white convictions, it is important that this be mirrored in the photographs that we choose. Equally important is the use of true American scenery, representative of the times and places of Teddy Roosevelt.
On page 14 are a series of do’s and never do’s when using photographs in your publications. When using any image other than one of Teddy Roosevelt, it is required to use a color screen (in one of our preapproved colors) at an opacity of 15% to add a timeless quality to the image. The image itself should be reduced to a 15% opacity. Nature photography is strongly encouraged. Pictures of horses are not--they scare me.
13
The choice of image is perfect, but the image needs desaturating and the color overlay.
This image is desaturated, but not as it should be, and lacks the screened color. Don’t do this, please.
This image is appropriately desatured and the opacity is reduced accordingly, but it is still missing the screen.
This does not include an image. It is not correct at all. That is a lie--it does have the color screen.
Yay! You got it right... Almost. Remember what I said about horses? That goes for your friends too.
This. This is exactly correct. Subject, opacity, screened color. Do more of this and prosper. 14
tone & diction, or the art of speaking like a president 15
Here is your country. Cherish these natural wonders, cherish the natural resources, cherish the history and romance as a sacred heritage, for your children and your children’s children. Do not let selfish men or greedy interests skin your country of its beauty, its riches or its romance.
16
i’m all about diction, teddy.
As president of the United States of America, a certain amount of decorum was once expected. We all know Dubyah messed that up, but the office at one time commanded a great deal of respect. It is important to reflect the diginity of the office in your written and spoken communications. These pages detail some of the keys to being a well spoken and well written human being.
On page 18 you will discover a list of approved vocabulary. If you are not aware of the meanings and usages of these words, familiarize yourself now. Include these words in your daily conversations and discover the newfound lust with which people respond to the words that drip from your lips.
17
SPEAK THESE WORDS
brawler grim resolute decision infamy merit voluptuary abhor coward
devotion exemplary enamor bully aggressor hunt monocle hirsute critic
valiant triumph daring destitute calling oppressor sweat victory worthy
strive upheaval glory entrails conserve vote dastardly suffer adhere
robust mustache private fail temerity hexagonal tesseract gin gin
FORGET THESE WORDS
y’all twerk instagram google fresh vegan meth partisan
television tentacle nuclear Kardashian fromage buzz lol presh
totes absolutely YOLO organic emo deuce reality star soft news
globalize insured adoption fleshbeard BASE jump staycation closure nostalgia
slush prenatal tender keyboard edutain don’t can’t won’t 18
fashion for the classic 26er 19
“We despise and abhor the bully, the brawler, the oppressor, whether in private or public life, but we despise no less the coward and the voluptuary. No man is worth calling a man who will not fight rather than submit to infamy or see those that are dear to him suffer wrong.�
20
clothe yourself in my warmth
The clothes make the man and the style guide the life. Follow in the examples given by Teddy and clothe yourself in timeless style, practical style, and pants that both support and breathe. Let the fabrics that rubbed against Teddy’s muscular frame be the same that cover and hide your soft, shitty body. Be you man or woman, Teddy’s attire can inform any wardrobe.
Use the examples provided on page 22 to revitalize your style. If there are clothing pieces that you do not own, own them These are timeless articles of clothing, and your closet will be proud to house them. Do not let it down!
21
Imagine our twenty sixth president in your mind’s eye. What is the fundamental article of clothing you picture Teddy in? If you said a vest, you’re a winner.
Teddy’s iconic hat and gloves are ideal for today’s harsh pollution filled air and extreme driving conditions. His military jacket isn’t key, but you do get a bonus.
The tie has always been an iconic piece of clothing, but wide tie paired with wide collar create a look that portrays an equally large personality. 22
becoming the th
26 man
the personal style guide of Teddy Roosevelt
Your guide to leading the perfect presidential life as exemplified by our twenty sixth and best. Let there be no mistake; you will not be G.W.B.-you will be eloquent, lusted after, and authoritative. Learn these few rules and reap the benefits of the lifestyle of one of the toughest individuals to ever lead our country: Theodore Roosevelt.
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.�