Letter from the Editors through adulthood thousands of miles away from home. Or if it’s experiencing life and college much differently than their peers because of racism and its lasting negative effects, PCC students are more than just students.
When it comes to working on a magazine, it can be hard to avoid cliche. This was the battle for the first month or so as our staff tried to come up with a focus for this year’s issue. Our focus was social justice issues, but how we wanted to communicate them seemed played out. They were angles that had been done before. After going through a list of potential topics, it suddenly hit us. Rather than reporting solely on social justice issues, we wanted to take an approach that would discuss not only the marginalization that some PCC students face, but the emotional, mental and psychological toll that it takes. There are no shortage of stories that talk about these issues, but the “behind the scenes” approach that was taken with these stories, was a challenge we wanted to take on and it was not easy. Whether it was getting people to be open and vulnerable about their thoughts and experiences, or for our photographers to visually manifest these stories; it was an uphill battle throughout the fall semester. In the end, what came of all these countless hours of reporting, shooting, and editing was a collection of stories that shed light on students and the struggles they have to face every day of their lives. Whether it’s feeling a sense of danger while walking down the street from a misogynistic remark or feeling isolated from loved ones while going
They fight, they hurt, they wonder how they will fit in anywhere and everywhere. Their stories and how they approach their everyday lives had to be shared on these pages because it’s not just affecting the ones you read about here. They are our group members, club members and lab partners; the ones we see everyday. To anyone reading this issue who can relate to the words of these students, this is for you too. None of this would have been possible without our wonderful and dedicated writers and photographers. To the writers, thank you for your determination to go out and get these stories. Watching your writing progress over the semester has been so fulfilling. To the photographers, thank you for using your creativity and skills to bring these stories to life in your photos. Thank you to Amber Lipsey for being a contributor for this issue with your deep and extensive reporting. You never fail to write something amazing. Thank you to James. I know doing the layout while still being new to it was not an easy feat, but this magazine would not have been possible had it not been for your commitment to both learning and creating the magazine layout along the way. Finally, endless thank yous to every person’s story who is included in this magazine. Thank you for talking with our writers and sharing these personal and at times difficult parts of your lives. Your stories and experiences are valid, and we can’t thank you enough for allowing us to print them here, to be shared with our PCC community. -Reina Esparza and James Membreno
400 Years Later by Amber Lipsey Pg 19-24
Beyond the Bars by Reina Esparza pg 13-16
A Troubling Misconception of Male Sexual Assualt by Anais Covarrubiaspg 17-18
A man walks to the entrance of the Mexican border crossing which houses Mexican customs agents on Wednesday, November 28, 2018 in San Diego, Calif.
Living in a Country that Hates You: The Trump Era Story by: Stephanie ValldeRuten • Photos by: James Membreno
It was February 15th in an Arizona courthouse when Thomas Gallegos and his partner of three years found themselves surrounded by their immediate family members, ready to seal their relationship with their wedding bands. While his knees were shaking ever so slightly as he nervously expressed his marriage vows to the love of his life, he was not so scared about their future together, but about what his future would have been like without his husband. With the rise of interest in the future of immigrants in the United States, Gallegos decided he could either wait to get married like he had planned, or secure his residency through marriage to avoid deportation. Gallegos, a PCC student whose name was changed to preserve his parents’ safety, is a DACA recipient. The Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program allows certain undocumented immigrants to remain in the country while they are students pursuing a higher education after meeting the program’s requirements. President Trump advocates for the elimination of the DACA program in order to
minimize the amount of immigrants in the U.S. But so far, he has only succeeded in changing the process to review applications filed by September 5, 2017, “on a case-bycase basis,” while these immigrants would be permitted to apply to renew their status until Oct. 5 of that year only if their protection was scheduled to expire before March 5, 2018. President Trump’s immigration policy reforms include the separation of families at the Mexican border, his pending appeal against the DACA program, violent attacks on the migrant caravan, and the overall criminal-
ization of all immigrants regardless if they are seeking asylum. Undocumented immigrant arrests inside the U.S. (not border arrests) have gone up by 42 percent since Trump took office, compared with the previous year. In addition to this, according to US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), the number of deportations increased by about 16,000 according to the BBC. Gallegos, who was raised in Arizona with his two undocumented parents, could not continue to attend Arizona State University because the school changed their policy to charge out of state tuition to students in the DACA program. I don’t think the U.S. will ever understand where someone is coming from,” he said. “You know, why someone is coming to the United States.” His family migrated to the U.S. illegally when he was just a child. His parents left Mexico in an effort to create a more stable economic life to raise their family. In Mexico, his parents risked being attacked and robbed by gangs if their successes began to show, so progress in terms of their
“It’s not what they say, it’s how they look at you, it’s how they treat you…” -Anais Covarrubias
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career was not an option. There is basically no point to being successful in Mexico because somebody is just going to take it away from you. They wanted to be able to grow as an economic unit and as a family which was something they thought could be achieved through the American Dream,” said Gallegos. Knowing his parents faced the risk of being deported if information about their citizenship got out, he grew up keeping their identities a secret and his personal life personal by choosing to never talk about his life at home. The stress of keeping his home life a secret in elementary school made him an outcast. Overall, Gallegos feels that living in a country that has raised you and simultaneously denied you as one of their own creates a stress
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that robs one of their childhood. Gallegos had to not only protect his parents as a child, but set an example for his younger brothers as to how to honor his parents’ efforts by pursuing higher education by any means necessary. While the Trump Administration’s new policies do not affect all Latinos directly, his message carries with it a prominent ripple effect within the Latino Community. They’re sending us not their best people… bringing their worst people. [They’re] bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists,” said Donald Trump in his June 2015 speech announcing his presidency. It’s not what they say, it’s how they look at you, it’s how they treat you…’Ghetto’ is how people would describe me regardless of my education, because I was a good student,” said PCC student Anais Covarrubias, a Latina student attending Pasadena City College. She explains how she is used to feeling like an outcast but that people are more openly advocating against Latinos since Trump’s presidential win. In a recent encounter in McKinleyville, California—nicknamed by locals as “McKKK”—near Humboldt, where she used to go to school, Covarrubias found herself in a situation defending a fellow Latino man on the bus who was being verbally harassed. “Do you even speak English? Did you even
come here legally?” said an older white man sitting across from them. “I could totally tell how uncomfortable [the Latino man] was and so I told the guy to just leave him alone and I told the other guy in Spanish to ignore him,” Covarrubias said. “Oh look another spic. Things are going to be different from now on,” an older white man said to the passenger. “You better understand that.” “What the fuck?,” she said to herself, realizing this was the first incident after Trump’s election that she noticed a change in how her community was treated. Dr. Kathleen Dunn, a sociology professor at Pasadena City College, said that Trump’s rhetoric is purposely manipulating people by using scare tactics. “Immigrants have always been targeted negatively and criminalized by the government. The danger with Trump is that he is very clearly using what we call dog-whistle politics and saying things in a certain way that is coded so that white supremacists understand that he supports them,” said Dunn. This then enables and encourages racist acts against minorities. Operation Streamline, which was launched in 2005, shows how immigrants are being defined more and more as threats. Three classes of “felonies” were created which apply only to immigrants, deportation became
“The danger with Trump is that he is very clearly using what we call dog-whistle politics and saying things in a certain way that is coded so that white supremacists understand that he supports them.” -Dr. Kathleen Dunn
Border patrol agents stand guard along a stretch of a wash that seprates the United States and Mexico in Tijuana, Calif.
a punishment for even minor offenses, and policies aimed at trying to end unauthorized immigration were made more punitive. Moreover, as a growing body of “crimmigration” law has reimagined noncitizens as criminals and security risks, immigration law enforcement has increasingly adopted the securitized approach of criminal law enforcement,” writes professors Walter Ewing, Daniel Martinez, and Ruben Rumbaut in a 2015 article “The Criminalization of Immigration in the United States.” Obvious acts of racism, such as those ex-
perienced by Covarrubias, are often accompanied with everyday microaggressions that have seemed to build up more recently, such as extra policing and profiling of Latinos in America. Really the terrifying part is that it’s not actually about kicking these people out, it’s about performing the spectacle of white supremacy to say, ‘This is a white country, and you’re not welcome here, and your value of a human being is lower than ours.’ There is unfortunately a large number of white Americans [who] feel good to see that,” Dunn said.
Dunn further explains how racism has been used to “divide and conquer” the country in order to gain political power. The institutional violence against undocumented people does not just happen against [them] because they belong to families and communities,” she said. “So when you have entire communities like Boyle Heights, like these ethnic enclaves, under siege, it has all sorts of negative effects for the community and city. It makes people feel unsafe, unsafe participating in democracy in a basic way.”
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CATCALLED
Anonymous
Story by Brandie Carvajal and Photo Illustrations by Jesus Diaz
and grabbed her by the vagina. She quickly reacted, pulled away and burst into emotional shock as the group of guys Today, street harassment affects more than walked away laughing at what seemed to be a the compulsive outfit change or feeling helpless dare. Vallderuten and her friend immediately while fear resides deep in your stomach. tracked down the mall security in hopes of For PCC student Stephanie Vallderuten, cat- tracking down her assaulter. calling is the sad reality most women endure regardless of their age, race, or religion. But what Vallderuten attempted to understand was why the feeling of shame arose when her last resort lied in the hands of a pink pocket sized pepper spray. For years now, women continue to express a burning hatred for street harassment. Even though 2017 brought us the #metoo movement, why is it that women are still getting belittled in situations of harassment regardless of the proof Once the mall security was found, the police being brought forward? arrived thirty minutes later to help Vallderuten Vallderuten described her personal experience file a report. with harassment that left her trembling in a mall, They asked questions like, “what were you distraught by the lack of consequence. wearing?” and “was it inside or outside the Vallderuten and her friend were leaving pants?” the Cerritos mall after a day of shopping. She But one question that really resonated with recalls wearing baggy sweats, dirty sneakers and Vallderuten was, “are you hurt though?” The an oversized t-shirt when she noticed a group men asked this question repeatedly. of guys walking in the opposite direction. In the By the end of the conversation, Vallderuten middle of her and her friend’s conversation, a found herself getting lessons on how to fight man about 6 feet tall slid in front of Vallderuten back and where to kick a man so that he falls to
his knees. Rather than encouraging her to file a report, the police explained to Vallderuten the possibility of not getting the outcome she rightfully deserves. At that moment she understood the gray area of harassment. More often than not, street harassment serves as the grey area of assault. This type of behavior is one we see everyday but somehow is still being left unaccounted for and undermined by society. While this issue remains evident to those affected, many women are beginning to independently take action in hopes of getting street harassment the attention it deserves. Another student at PCC, Shelby Cerda, describes herself as a woman who not only speaks up but really gives men a piece of her mind when it comes to street harassment. After giving her insight on why men harass, Cerda ultimately suggests women who dress the most provocatively are the ones who get bothered most frequently. Cerda shed light on a very uncomfortable time her body was objectified in front of the very woman who birthed her. Cerda and her mother were leaving the mall one afternoon. She was wearing a pair of spanx and a tank top, an outfit not out of the norm for Cerda. As they stepped off the red painted curb,
“Today, street harassment affects more than the compulsive outfit change or feeling helpless while fear resides deep in your stomach.”
Nathalie Cruz undergoes another day being catcalled on her way home from school by a stranger in Eagle Rock on November 19, 2018.
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she began to hear a chirping noise. Cerda and her mother looked up only to realize the noise was coming from two men driving by. In complete disgust, Cerda flipped both of them off as the men drove off. Moments later the scolding began. “Don’t go out looking like that if you can’t handle it,” her mother said. Cerda was shocked to find out that instead of defending her own daughter, her mother was in fact shaming her for provoking the men with her supposedly revealing and exposed style. Like many other forms of harassment catcalling also has its share of both short term and long term psychological effects. NYU graduate and contributor to the department of applied psychology, Emma Rooney, has written about the effects of sexual objectification imposed on women over long periods of time. Through men non-consensually evaluating a woman’s body, a type of self-monitoring frenzy begins. This behavior is often followed by self-shame then ultimately causes anxiety and depression. In “The Effects of Sexual Objectification on Women’s Mental Health” Rooney writes, “Women who self-objectify are less likely to experience the undivided attention characteristic of flow because part of their attention is always dedicated to physical self-monitoring”. Rooney suggests that sexual objectification is both directly and indirectly correlated to the various mental health distresses mentioned above. Another common reaction from victims of street harassment is doing absolutely nothing. Often when women experience their lives being put in danger, it is quite normal to tense up and completely freeze. This response is now known as the fight, flight, or freeze response. According to Psychology Today, a behavioral research site, “psychological shock is defined as experiencing a surge of strong emotions and a corresponding physical reaction, in response to a (typically unexpected) stressful event.” With a different outlook on harassment, PCC student Alexandra, who did not want to give her last name, believes street harassment in particular has nothing to do with women and everything to do with the male ego. “I’ve heard that women could be wearing 17th-century berthas and they would still get sexually harassed,” Alexandra said, describing a large collar that women used to wear to cover their chest. “It has something to do with internalized sexism, it seems to be everywhere too, not just in the U.S.” In 2013, the globally known anti-street harassment group Hollaback surveyed over 16,000 women in over 20 different countries. In return they were able to find that 84 percent of women had been harassed on the street by the age of 17. Alexandra opened up about the moment that ultimately changed the way she felt using public transportation, specifically the 187, a bus PCC students ride everyday. One morning Alexandra was making her commute to PCC for morning classes. She was riding the 187 bus, a line that serves the people of Pasadena, Arcadia, Duarte and Azusa.
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Planted at the back of the bus and nearly one stop away from her destination, Alexandra recalled the feeling of being watched. She also recalled seeing the silhouette of a man fidgeting through her peripheral vision. Alexandra turned and made eye contact with a man who was staring deeply at her as he touched himself on a bus full of people. In complete and utter shock, she did nothing, despite the fact that her mind was racing, contemplating the endless scenarios that would expose this man more than he already was. Alexandra was scared. It was as though no one else was riding the bus that day, not a single passenger or even a driver. Although all this was happening within the last stop, Alexandra felt as though it had been going on the entire commute. Once the bus reached PCC, she rushed out the back, not telling a single person what she had witnessed that day. According to the Huffington Post and Stop Street Harassment studies, more than 37 percent of female respondents have had a stranger masturbate at or in front of them while 72 percent have taken a different mode of transportation to avoid street harassment. On the contrary, those who enable rape culture will suggest that not all women are the
same and not all men are street harassers. But if we continue to blame women’s choice of clothes or outgoing personalities, then rape culture will easily follow. Instead of telling society “do not rape,” we tell women to dress more modestly, drink less or avoid alcohol, travel in groups, never tease someone, download an anti-rape app, or even wear a special nail polish that detects date rape drugs. For some women, street harassment digs deeper than pretending to answer a call or building up the sweat in your palms as you turn around and shout, “leave me alone!” For men, on the other hand, the reason is simple. Natalie Pena, a contributor to new-media Brand “Her Campus,” takes a glance at the males’ perspective by introducing the near-miss effect. In short, the near miss effect is a common symptom people experience after buying a lottery ticket and believing they almost won the lotto. Unfortunately, the reality of buying a lottery ticket and winning almost always ends in disappointment. So why do people continue to buy them? Similar to catcalling, if women give so much as a blink, Pena writes, men believe they are sure to get a reaction the next time around.
A man catcalls a young woman as he drives by on November 19, 2018 in Eagle Rock, Calif. Today, catcalling continues to prove its describes their outrage as being, “blown out of saw an elderly woman watching from the patio relevance by leaving more and more women proportion.” of her front yard. As the men turned to meet psychologically affected by these recycled While staying dismissive isn’t always the Kassandra’s gaze, they realized their behavior comments that were never asked for in the first easiest emotion to portray, every individual’s was being watched. All at once, the woman’s place. experience is different, just as every woman’s voice rose to a clamor, the men drove off and From a woman’s perspective, this behavior response will be. Kassandra sprinted in the opposite direction. isn’t as playful and complimentary as society PCC student Kassandra, who also didn’t Only a few houses from the incident, Kasthinks; however, that doesn’t change the fact want to give her last name, shares her story of sandra vaguely hears the woman shout, “are that three percent of women do find cat calling the day that left her in tears sprinting home. compliyou okay?” mentary, Coming from according someone who to the often deals Huffington with anxiety, Post. Kassandra deKassandra, age 18 at the time, was walking For PCC student Elly Spencer, cat calling scribes that moment as complete dissociation. her dog one day when she suddenly heard hardly seems to faze her. Moments later the endless possibilities the engine of a car trailing close behind. As Although she is a walking, talking statistic who first experienced cat calling at the age of she turned, she was able to see two men who crowded her mind. She could have ended the 14, she firmly stands her ground with the wom- looked in their mid 40s. She saw a smug grin walk short, changed directions, called for help en who simply ignore any passing whistle, on each of their faces and their off-putting or even made a scene. honk or holler. behavior, which seemed to be happening in But she didn’t. “They’re like small little inconveniences,” unison. The very next week Kassandra was welSpencer said. “Yeah, they’re things that make The men then pulled up to Kassandra, blockcomed to Pasadena City College with open you upset or uncomfortable but I choose to not ing the driveway. Arms raised and hands full arms, smiling faces and her first dose of womlet it bother me.” of dollar bills, the men obnoxiously flaunted en’s street harassment. She insists that catcalling is not directed money at Kassandra. towards her often, but when it does happen In complete shock, Kassandra froze. Today she is the proud owner of a pocket to women in a shared environment, Spencer She began to look around in panic until she sized pepper spray. 7
“This type of behavior is one we see everyday but somehow is still left unaccounted for and undermined by society.”
Micro Aggressions The Importance of Ujima Story by Joshua Arredondo Photos by Trisha Vasquez croaggressions” meant to them The walls of PCC are decorated with and other minority groups. historical figures, embracing a culture that That is something that Lopez had to deal with can’t go unnoticed without even looking at day in and day out with many people at PCC the bland white walls that cover it. Walking when she was a student. up distressed red stairs in the CC “One day I would’ve expected one N word building, images of Malcolm X to be said to me and I sadly experienced on and MLK influenced the voice’s of and off campus. But when it occurs on camyoung African American students pus, especially someone telling me while I’m at PCC, their stories being ones to minding my business blows me away,” she remember. The pictures end near said. “That word, the way it sounds spitting the aged brown door of Ujima, a out of someone’s mouth, it’s traumatizing community of brothers and sisters for me, especially at my age. And the way who disown racism and find guidit happened, out in public and on camance in a large diverse community. pus with no one doing anything gave Ujima exists as it strives to me a reason to be angry.” maintain unity amongst one another, Lopez also remembers a time feeling making sure minority life isn’t near lost, out of hope because of more impossible when it comes to attending colracial instances that occured with lege. The history that’s on those bland walls her during is a reminder for many African American students that they will not be belittled with racial slurs, microaggressions, or judged because of their skin color. Racism exists and scars students who have experienced such behavior. Ujima is a program that doesn’t abide by racism and microaggressions, but transforms those experiences into better ideas of making those who feel shunned feel accepted instead. Ujima comes from the Nguzo Saba, a black value system discovered by Dr. Maulana Karenga that carries seven principles, with Ujima being the first. It’s defined as building and maintaining a community together and make brother’s and sister’s problems our problems and solving them together, something Gena Lopez and fellow peers facilitate within the community of African Americans at PCC. Gena Lopez, PCC Alumna and Program Director for Ujima/Pathways Staff, voiced the challenges her and fellow peers experience and how with the resources she sees in today’s PCC environment, didn’t exist for her. “When I was a student here at PCC, the resources that students have weren’t the ones that we had coming here. It was just the black student union and that was about it,” Lopez said. She detailed how many of the current programs would’ve given her better benefits and a better road to follow without headaches her time from one end to the other when it comes to at PCC. facing certain challenges like microaggres“Students made fun sions. To learn more about the history of PCC of my hair, made racial comments on why and what African-American students had to I dressed a certain way and looked like a deal with mentally, Lopez urged students to ‘ghetto person.’ I even got made fun of when consider taking time to understand what “miI tried to talk correct by hearing, ‘stop trying
to talk white,’” she said. “It’s very demeaning for someone to go at that extent. Judging you for everything because of the color of your skin. It simply becomes a problem.” “Every day was a challenge for me and my peers,” she continued. “[Faculty] couldn’t see it or understand it. But we did. The more we compromised, the bigger the problem got.” Lopez has been the Ujima program director for five years. She voices her opinions on what it means to stand up to remarks that her students get in situations they can’t handle. She recalls a student of hers who was falsely accused of breaking and entering into a classroom that had already been vandalized without the student knowing that. He was then restrained from the room and taken in for questioning while he kept explaining to campus police that it wasn’t him. “That student, who will remain anonymous, was scarred that day and doesn’t want to enter that building again,” Lopez said. “It’s those moments for black people … they’re not the same anymore. The paranoia, the anxiety and the humility. You can’t experience your life like that. I pray every day for them, and for one day for things to just be peaceful for minorities that live here.” Lopez gave more insight into what microaggressions can do to an individual mentally and physically. Racial slurs serve their own purpose: to reinforce how the power dynamics co-exist with mental health and how words can actually hurt an individual. Subtle digs mean a lot to individuals as they become innocuous acts which can derail someone to go into a depression or insecurity. Experiences of racism can result in traumatic stress, depression, avoidance, and intrusion, according to researchers Gina Torino and Victoria Rodolfo at Columbia University. Courtney D. Cogburn, a psychologist at Columbia University defines microaggressions as “brief and commonplace verbal, behavioral, or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional,” which describes the feeling of being used to this behavior for minorities in the U.S. “Mental health problems is a concern we pushed away and it’s something to be dealt with. My presence for them is vital for me
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Ujima. Public health researcher Naomi Priest surveyed 3,150 adults in 2013 from three racial groups (African-American, Latinos, and Asian-Americans) and found a correlation between hypervigilance due to race-based stress and a higher chance of heart disease. Priest also found that adults that experienced racial discrimination is linked to unhealthy behaviors such as overeating and decreased exercise. This has also exposed young adults to substance use such as marijuana, alcohol, etc. “As minorities, we leave marks in history by doing things that people don’t think we can do. When its facing situations of traditional racism and stigmas getting in the way, our mental state is first. Without that, we do things out of proportion. When anxiety kicks in because of the feeling of being marginalized creeps in, don’t let it. Make that a motivation. So I urge all minorities to think the same, for maybe one day, PCC can transform into something better for everyone to feel welcomed,” said Armia Walker, a counselor for social and behavioral sciences at PCC. Walker explained was certain situations she’s had with fellow co-workers in questioning whether her job was earned or simply given because of her being a minority. “As for the person that I am today, I know for a fact I struggled to get to where I am. Many people don’t see it that way. They see it as I got here because of who I was and didn’t want me to realize that I got here with degrees from multiple universities and my masters as well, including my 3.7 GPA,” Walker said. With minority treatment, Walker describes what stigmas and stereotypes have in return with how students walk around campus, knowing that specifically minorities get this treatment and this treatment affects students and faculty who are minorities deeply. “I don’t understand why many of us, specifically minorities, get that type of treatment but you have to realize that certain stigmas and ste-
reotypes play a huge role in this. This affects us mentally and physically without them even knowing the agony we go through,” Walker said. Walker briefly talked about students who come to her with situations that deal with feeling anxious or depressed, not really knowing how to handle their emotions with microaggressions and feeling oppressed. “A number of students come to me with situations that they can’t seem to understand, why it happens to them. From racial slurs, stigmas, remarks and so on. They feel belittled and that’s simply due to moral components which gets them asking the question, “Why am I here?”,” said Walker. “Expressing to the students I see daily that these things will happen is difficult. Especially to my own people. But getting in the right mindset is the start of changing how others view us. It just takes time for one to actually realize that,” Walker added. She kept some colleagues and faculty members anonymous as she explained that she got some stories from them that were relatable to what had happened to her when it came to racial remarks. “We get those sometimes on a daily basis,” she said. “Some aren’t directed towards you but they say it as if you won’t be able to figure out what they’re saying. A colleague of mine got a remark of why she got the job and how it was easy for her to get it and it’s shocking to hear. If the need for you is to express certain things and not feed off of what they’re saying, its best to talk about it. That’s how your mental state gets affected and it’s sad to see.” Those who talked found it better to express certain emotions they were experiencing at the time they entered a new college with new people around them, not really knowing what they would say about them because of who they are. They know that when those words slowly spit out of that person’s mouth, it changes the way they think of themselves. Torri Washington is a first-year PCC student who found Ujima when she first came. Washington wanted to experience college like her other
“For us, it was different. It was more like feeling alienated from certain discussions, groups, areas on campus. It almost felt like we didn’t belong there when we knew we did,” -Torri Washington
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Students paint in honor of Black History Month at the Ujima Festival located in the Wifi lounge on Thursday, Februrary 28, 2019.
Torri J
Those who look at micro-aggressions as a victimhood mentality are considered by minorities as ignorant to a degree. Painting a picture of the feelings, the anger, and the confusion for the everyday behavior experienced by “the others” would relieve the weight they feel entering a place where they become d targeted. Iman Davis-Dolly, m who has been a part of Ujima for two years, was more vocal when it came her time to t talk. Davis-Dolly expressed her anger towards how she was t being treated and what it was doing to her mentally as well. “I voice my opine ion because I’m tired of going to my own cafeteria, waiting for d Torri Johnson, 18, of Pasadena, shows off her painting at the Ujima Festival located in the Wifi lounge on Thursday, Februrary 28, 2019. someone to mistreat Torri Washington is a first-year PCC student who found Ujima when us because of who we are. I’m tired of walking down my hallway and e she first came. Washington wanted to experience college like her other teachers, even students giving us dirty looks because we dress a certain friends did, drama free and with a fresh start, but incidents like the ones way or talk a certain way. Like… it doesn’t make sense at times,” she she experienced caused it to be less flattering. said. “The feeling of going to a school with new faces is always a surprise Mental stability is an important topic for Davis-Dolly as she’s mato people. It’s something that you automatically feel as a newcomer. joring in psychology and explains what she’s seen from her peers, what For us, it was different. It was more like feeling alienated from certain discussions, groups, areas on campus. It almost felt like we didn’t belong mental state they’re in when microaggressions are directed towards them. “I’ve seen peers of mine who’ve accustomed that habit of doing stuff there when we knew we did,” Washington said. just to get rid of that burden they feel. I’ve asked them why and they She went on to explain a certain time where anxiety kicked in and not always tell me that they don’t want to think about that shit anymore and just forget about everything. It’s sad and I know that we have to be strong for one another, and for my major, I know that I’ll have to deal with certain situations like this, with my own people”, she said. I’m tired of walking down my hallway and She continues with how certain incidents have affected how she looks at things and how campus life becomes different for her and fellow peers. teachers, even students giving us dirty looks “The racial remarks we would hear from people across campus, the not being as versatile with us but more with other students, the because we dress a certain way or talk a certain teachers feeling of being targeted by our own campus security,” she said. “We all experienced a moment of feeling targeted, but we all said to ourselves, way. Like… it doesn’t make sense at times,” where do we run to now?.” “Many of us had to deal with negative thoughts and that shouldn’t be -Iman Davis-Dolly the case when you’re in college. There has to be a moment where that stops.” really knowing how to obscure it. She also expressed the irrational fear many of her peers had when it “Me and some friends always go to the Pathways center to study, came to speaking directly from the heart, knowing the backlash it would but it wasn’t an experience that they promised us when we first joined cause. Pathways. An experience of feeling targeted. A small group of kids just “Our voice has been shunned for quite a long time,” she said. “People wanting to study, while we saw a group of other students being loud and who can’t see it aren’t in our shoes. And for them to say that is the exact annoying,” she said. “It was like they were given a pass and we weren’t. ignorance that angers us. To even speak on this is harder than it looks I felt anxious and I remember feeling really under the weather after because we have to relive certain situations we don’t want to. The racial which didn’t do much good as I just started PCC, wanting and trying to microaggressions are painful as they use it to describe us with just stereofit in.” types.” She also remembered another incident where her and some friends were stopped by campus security to check if they went to this school. “It was a bit humiliating,” she said. “We weren’t even making [a] ruckus or anything like that, just simply walking out of campus to grab some food. We felt so humiliated that we just ended up eating in silence after. Imagine being stopped by the INS to ask if your a citizen here. That same feeling hit us. Like if we definitely don’t belong here. That’s where . our anger came in but violence wouldn’t solve a thing.”
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Tony Troung poses for a portrait on the Pasadena City College Campus.
Leaving it all for PCC Photos and Story by Jasmine Ngo
After one and a half hours on the bus, with a heavy backpack and old shoes, PCC student Tony Truong got his tired body to the C building from the bus station for his early morning class. It should be a day like every day but suddenly his phone begins to play the song “Home” by Michael Buble. “Maybe surrounded by a million people, I still feel alone/ I just wanna go home/ Another sunny place/ I’m lucky, I know/ But I wanna go home.” Then he found himself full of sadness. Not long after Truong arrived at Pasadena City College in 2017 as an international student, college began to be his biggest pressure. Overwhelmed by his busy schedule in school and heavy course load, he found himself suffering under a lot of stress. Sometimes, sitting in class being surrounded by different people who are talking with each other or busy with their own lives, he found himself lost in the crowd. Sometimes, he waited for the last bus alone in very cold weather and at such moments, he found himself giving way to feelings of self-pity. Sometimes, he woke up and said “mom” unconsciously; he found himself crying uncontrollably and coping with homesickness. “When you are going through all of that bad feelings and then you are looking around on
campus, it doesn’t seem like anyone else is going through what you are going through,” he said. “It must be the loneliest experience.” An international student in the United States can live and study away from their home country to obtain a better education. Studying
“It must be the loneliest experience.” - Tony Troung abroad is a dream for almost all students in Truong’s home country, Vietnam. Overseas, language becomes a huge barrier; even though he was fully prepared, he still gets shocked in communication. Studying abroad is a challenge for every student, leaving behind all the familiar things and facing with unforeseen difficulties, especially language problems,” Truong said. After spending hours in the library and reading books, he only understands a few short lines of the reading. Even though he stayed up writing until 3 a.m. for a whole week, he just got a C for his essay.
“I have asked myself for a thousand times whether the decision of studying abroad is a good decision or not,” he said. “Studying abroad can be described in two words: keep going,” he said. “When you decide to study overseas, you can never regret or lament.” He still keeps going every single day. If after hours, he only understands a few short lines, he will spend all day studying. If staying up until 3 a.m and he only gets a C, he will stay up until morning. “Every morning, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you are a lion or a gazelle; when the sun comes up, you would better be running,” he said. “If I just could go to school and learn, go home and do homework, it would be my biggest favor,” said M, another PCC student from Vietnam, who did not want to give her name because she could face repercussions for working outside campus as a waitress, which is illegal. She has to work four full days at a Monrovia restaurant in order to earn enough money to cover her living expenses in America. She has to work long hours, from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. M has to hustle around to get orders, 11
deliver food, and of course still manage to have a pretty good conversation with her customers. There was one morning when the restaurant was full of impatient customers; they yelled at her, asked for food to come quickly, asked for toilet paper in the restroom, asked for a cup of water with a lid for their kid and many other things. “It was super crazy first days working, I was scared of them,” she said. “But it is okay now. I get used to it. They ask me for something and they have to wait.” After a full shift as a waitress, she also has to clean the restaurant after it closes. “When I was at home, I did not do anything. Even my underwears, my mom washed it for me,” she said. M is the only child in her family, so she was spoiled by her parents since she was born. She did not have to do anything and of course, her parents didn’t let her. There were only four things that she could really think about: eating, studying, playing and sleeping. “Everyone told me that America is my destiny. I have never ever thought that one day I will live without my parents. But when people live far away from home, they suffer from everything and then they realize that they have grown up. I feel grateful for America about that,” she said. Walking home alone late at night and counting some tips she got in the day, she constantly prayed that there would not be any crazy men walking behind her. “I earn $55 for a day working,” she said. “I am not sure if it is a good price but something is better than nothing.” During a long day, M is too busy with her work or her school to think about anything else. She still smiles with her customers. She still talks and laughs with her friends. She seems like a very happy person. Then the night comes, when she has to be all alone, and there is no more strength left inside her. She cries herself to sleep. “I cry, cry a lot. I almost cry every night. I miss my family, my friends, my home. I feel stressed every day because of school, because of work, because I don’t have any friends to share,” M said. “Sometimes, I think sadness is killing me.” After taking showers and having some dinner at 1 a.m., she begins to study for an exam that is coming up. Another day is coming. Life is harder when you have a kid at the age 21, like Trish Le. She met her husband on a dating app.
lieve. But I am a mom now and I have to be “I had been on Tinder for a few months; at brave not for me but for my son.” first, it was just for fun,” Le said. “I was so It has been almost three months since she bored and was just looking for someone to had her first baby and now she is saving every chat.” penny to prepare for surgery to remove all of After being matched with Michael Falcon, the extra toes and fingers. they talked non-stop for a few days. Then he Eden Hoang is a second-year student at asked her to hang out and grab a drink. PCC also from Vietnam. “When we finally meet in person, he was He remembered the amazing and moment he put down better looking than in his phoHe remembered the moment he his grandfather’s thin hands, said goodbye tos,” she said. to his parents and by They had been put down his grandfather’s thin himself went to the together for aldepartures most six months; hands, said goodbye to his par- international terminal two years then she found ago. He was self-aware out that she was ents, and by that studying abroad pregnant. She meant he may have was so scared. In himself went to the to experience the loss her home counof relatives in a place try of Vietnam, international departures terminal which is very far away having a baby from home. at the age 20 is -Jasmine Ngo “While I was studyunacceptable. People would ing in my class, I got judge her and even her family. a message from my dad, just only 4 words, ‘Grandfather has passed away,’” he said. “I was so afraid to tell my parents,” she He left the class and went home. On the way said. “I was trying to hide it for a long time. home, tears started falling down his face. He Whenever I had a video call from my parents, could not clearly see the traffic anymore. Then I had to wear a very big hoodie to cover it.” he had to stop at a gas station and cried. Finally, she told her parents when she was “It broke my heart,” he said. “Believe me. It 8 months pregnant. It was a shock for all her hurts. No one wants to feel it.” family; her father could not believe it and her “Studying abroad is not just one or two mother cried day after day for a whole month. days; it will be at least four years. Anything “They were angry and then they were sad can happen,” he said. “Everyday I wake up in and they were worried about me,” she said. America, I always pray that my grandparents, “They told me that I am just 21 and how can my parents can stay healthy and be able to eat, I take care of a baby. They told me that I have to sleep. That is enough for me.” no job and I cannot even pay for myself.” “Loneliness is like just the night before, you “I asked myself too, that how can I raise this baby. I do not finish with school and I have no were with all the people [who] love you and then this morning when you opened your eyes, job. I have nothing,” she said. “When you are there is no one beside you,” Hoang said. 20, you just think about what will you wear today or where will you eat. You never think There are so many fears for international students: they are afraid they won’t learn well about what will cook for your husband or enough; they are afraid that they will not find where will you get a job after graduation; they are afraid of living money to buy napin very cold weather; they are afraid of illness. py for your son.” All of these are real frightening, but to Hoang, “But in life, you after two years of loneliness, his biggest fear have to be responis the feeling of losing relatives. sible for what you “Studying abroad, there are so much oppordid,” Le continued. tunities but also so much difficulties,” he said. She was more “If someone tell you that studying overseas than a week overwill bring you a pink life, it’s not true. There due when the baby is some days you open your eyes, you see boy arrived. everything in grey. There is some days, you “I didn’t believe can just eat rice without anything else because I was in labor until tears are enough salty.” I got to the hospi“If someone asks me that America is better tal for the second or not, I would a hụndred percents say yes, time,” she said. of course, it’s absolutely better. But it’s not Labor was easier home. It can never be home,” he added. and quicker than she expected but that happy Then he put his headphone on, chose the moment just lasted for a few seconds. The song “Home” and whispered. room was filled with grief because her son “Another winter day has come and gone has polydactyly, which is when a baby is born away with an extra finger on the hand or an extra And even Paris and Rome toe on the foot. Her baby had an extra digit on And I want to go home each hand and foot. Let me go home..” “I don’t know why that moment I didn’t 12 cry,” she said. “It was so hard for me to be-
James Membreno / Spotlight
Jessi Fernadez goes from criminal to student in a photo illustration.
Beyond the bars: Hardships and triumphs of formerly incarcerated students Story by Reina Esparza and Photos by James Membreno
The lulling ringing of the hourly bell ripples through the Pasadena City College campus, as clusters of students trek from building to building, some on foot, some whizzing by on bikes or skateboards. Others gather around places like the mirror pools where clouds of smoke tend to arise, or the Wi-Fi Lounge as video game sounds clash and crash, along with the animated voices of their players. No matter where one is on campus, students tend to convene around people and places they are comfortable in, where they can, in a sense, belong. PCC student Gabriela Vaquerano can often be found near or around the MESA center on campus. Looking at her, as she dons a sweatshirt, jeans and sneakers, one may not think that she has traded existing within one institution for another. Institutions that have each given her ups and downs. Vaquerano is a formerly incarcerated student, whose teenage years consisted mostly of being in and out of the prison system and getting involved with the streets and all they had to offer her at a young age. This included drinking, as well as eventually stealing from and robbing stores. But these weren’t random acts of typical teenage rebellion. They stemmed from the deep pain of losing her brother when she was 12 years old. “My brother, he was the father figure of the family, if something would happen, he was there,” she said. “So when he passed away, it impacted everybody. My mom started working or if she wasn’t working, she was hitting the casinos. So my mom was never home, she was either working double shifts, triple shifts. My sister was never home,
my other brother was never home so I guess they were coping [in] their own ways, so I was always left alone. Of course, I ended up being in the streets, I started hanging out a lot.” Her brother also went through the prison system, but managed to turn his life around. But after he died, Vaquerano thought that, in a sense, it didn’t matter that he changed, because he still ended up dead. She asked herself, “why are we trying to do good, when this happens?” “So I started drinking to cope with it, because I didn’t know how to [deal] with my brother’s death,” Vaquerano said. “Nobody was home to teach me how to cope with it, because everyone didn’t know how to cope with it, everyone was coping with it on their own.” Heavy drinking played a big part in her becoming incarcerated in her youth, which then became an on and off cycle of incarceration for her. “That’s how I got incarcerated the first time, because I ended up robbing three stores with some girl,” she said. “I didn’t even know her, but I was so drunk, that me and her ended up going to steal stuff. From there, it went down, I was going in and out. I got out, I only lasted two weeks and I went back in. I came out, I did house arrest, I didn’t last with the house arrest. I went back to the streets and I started drinking more. It kept going on for quite some time. I just didn’t know how to deal with it.” Lack of parental guidance and losing loved ones was something that PCC student Jessi Fernandez also had to deal with at a young age, be- 13
“Why are we trying to do good, when this happens?” -Gabriela Vaquerano
always in the streets, we were neighborhood hoodlums.” This led to him becoming involved in gang life. But for him, becoming apart of a gang gave him a sense of belonging, as well as made up for what he lacked at home. “They started becoming like my family figures, they started becoming older brothers, older sisters, father figures,” said Fernandez. “They became more than just a gang, they became family. People I grew to idolize, look up to, so I really looked up to those individuals despite a lot of the things that they were teaching me at that time, even though I felt like it was the right thing to do.” The prison system was always a looming presence to Fernandez, whether it was before being in a gang and seeing people he knew get locked up, or after he became involved, and the reality of the danger of it all came about. But, he was conditioned to see the prison system as sort of a badge of honor to his gang activities. “It’s something that we constantly know, you’re either going to be incarcerated or you’re going to end up dead in these streets,” he said. “Growing up, you tend to idolize, glorify the gang, the activities done. So you kind of [think] like, ‘prison is where I want to go.’ Or jail and these institutions are the places I want to go. To reinforce that I’m doing my deeds in my neighborhood. So, it was never looked down upon, it was like, ‘hey I’m not tripping about doing some time.’’’ This prevalence of the prison system tends to start with law enforcement policing lower income communities with large populations of people of color. This is not a new occurrence, as it has been experienced by PCC sociology professor Anthony Francoso, who grew up in East LA. Though he personally has never been incarcerated, he remembers witnessing and experiencing the policing of his fellow community members, with younger folks not being spared. “As I got older, and I would start to ride skateboards and go to backyard punk rock shows, I just started to have a lot more encounters with police,” Francoso said. “They were constantly trying to harass us, or telling us not to skate in places or to go home or try to take our skateboards. Or, at these backyard punk rock shows, the police would come and break them up, try harassing and arresting kids who were potentially drinking, scaring us. Just being very aggressive with their tactics.” According to him, it didn’t matter that he was a young adult strolling through his own community. It didn’t stop the police from harassing him frequently. “Walking in my neighborhood, and them pulling me over, putting me up against the car, my hands on the hot hoods, asking me if I was on drugs, if I knew where to buy drugs, if I was selling drugs, if I was a gang member, if I knew who these gang members were, if I was connected or affiliated,” he said. “This would happen almost on a weekly basis.” PCC student Laura Electa, a prison system impacted individual whose father and brother have been in prison, grew up seeing the effects of policing and incarceration. Though never trustful of the police, the full impact of the system did not hit her until her dad went to prison and she had to help raise her younger brother, who would eventually get caught up in the system as well. “I was always wary of the police, just being raised in a lower income neighborhood and around gangs, like you learn to trust the street not trust that authority,” Electa said. “But when my dad went to jail, I started to learn more about sentencing, and different sentencing for people of color versus white people. Then seeing my little brother get pulled out of school because he had a joint, turning him into a ‘lifelong criminal’ [at 16 years old]. He didn’t stop going in and out jail until he was 25, all because he was a brown kid that had some 14
weed in school. [Those experiences] definitely gave me a clearer picture of the prison system.” According to the report “The Color of Justice: Racial Disparities in State Prisons” by Ashley Nellis for The Sentencing Project, an organization that examines U.S. incarceration, black people are incarcerated 5.1 times more than white people, while Hispanics are incarcerated 1.4 times more than white people. The power the system has also brings brutality. Vaquerano has experienced direct violence from law enforcement, but the strength and inequality of the prison system discouraged her from speaking up about it and pressing charges. “The first time I got incarcerated, I ended up getting beat up by an officer. It was two officers, one ended up beating me and breaking my eye socket,” she said. “I was like ‘there’s not even [a] point in fighting the system, there’s not even no point in trying because the system is always going to win.’” But the experience of actually being incarcerated was something that has stuck with Vaquerano and Fernandez, considering the negative impacts of its depersonalization and being a constant revolving door in their lives. “You’re pretty much sitting in a cell, watching your life pass you by,” said Fernandez. “You don’t feel like a person. In there, you’re considered a body. You’re known as by your CDC number or by your booking number, so it’s not you as a person. You’re just a body and it’s real dehumanizing.” For Vaquerano, being incarcerated became a thing of survival, in that frequent fights inside caused her to toughen up and so she was always ready to fight back. This bred a rage inside her that messed her up emotionally and forced her to think about how she came to that point in her life. “I would always have to fight, and it just made me mad all the time, it made feel like no one gave a fuck about me. I felt like I was low, it made me feel so bitter,” she said. “When you’re in a room, you’re just there for like a whole day, probably even [longer]. It just made think about like life and like, ‘what’s going to happen to me? Am I going to not make it to this age? Am I going to keep continuing doing this?’ It just felt like a cycle.” Eventually, as Vaquerano and Fernandez started to go back inside less and less, they did attempt to come to PCC. But past interactions of being told they would never be good enough, as well as a lack of guidance to navigate starting their academic careers here, caused them to go back to their familiar lives in the streets. “I tried to come right after high school, but I didn’t know how to do the financial aid, assessment tests, none of that. I tried it and it didn’t work out. So I went back to what I did know, which was the streets,” said Fernandez. “It’s tough, because [you’re] coming from a lifestyle where you’re used to being [told], ‘you ain’t shit, you don’t matter, all you’re ever going to be is a gang member or drug dealer or you’re useless or you’re never going to amount to nothing.’ From hearing that from an early age for a long time, it conditions you, it impacts you in a way where you’re like, ‘why am I even here?’” Vaquerano also had teachers from her past that would tell her she would not be successful, but it took personal motivation for her to stick with school and pursue her education. She used to be embarrassed to reach out for help and would give up easily or return to drinking. But she says she now takes on a more positive attitude, sometimes telling herself, “you know what, you’ve made it this far, keep continuing.” She sees herself as rising above the view of incarcerated individuals as not being “fit” for academia in that she and other people like her are able to succeed. “A lot of people that are incarcerated are fucking smart,” she said. “They might not be book smart, but they’re really smart, they have a
“You don’t feel like a person. In there, you’re considered a body. You’re known as by your CDC number or by your booking number, so it’s not you as a person.” -Jessi Fernandez
other people like her are able to succeed. “A lot of people that are incarcerated are fucking smart,” she said. “They might not be book smart, but they’re really smart, they have a lot of potential. I’m not fucking book smart at all, but I’ve worked my ass off to get good grades. Why? Because I studied.” Francoso, who has taught in men’s prisons and youth camps, also notices the inherent brightness and abilities that his formerly incarcerated students possess. “What I’ve seen is that, formerly incarcerated students are extremely and amazingly beautiful people,” he said. “They’re brilliant and dedicated, [they] can maneuver, have the ability to code switch. Just very astute, very aware of what’s happening around them.” Fernandez found solace through Homeboy Industries, a Los Angeles organization that helps formerly incarcerated individuals improve their lives by giving them jobs and helping them seek other opportunities. Through them, Fernandez was able to commit to PCC more so than the first time. On top of doing well in his classes, he was also given the opportunity to study abroad in Oxford, England in spring 2018. “I never thought I was going to be out there. I always thought white, privileged individuals, people with money, rappers, movie stars, were the only ones that could get these opportunities,” he said. “I got to see different perspectives, experience new things I typically wouldn’t experience out here in this society. So I think that was a turning point.” However, despite their triumphs, formerly incarcerated students still have to deal with the stigma against them and their place on a college campus. Being in a classroom can sometimes be discouraging for Fernandez, as he has felt that others around him know more than he does, which can make him feel like he doesn’t belong in college. “I feel like an individual coming from my lifestyle, when you’re in the classroom setting, you feel like you’re around individuals and you feel they’re smarter than you, they’re more privileged than you, so you can’t really relate,” he said. “You really don’t want to voice yourself because you don’t want to sound dumb. Even though it might not be a dumb thing, you might just feel like, ‘it’s probably dumb.’ You just don’t feel good enough, being amongst other individuals in the class-
is something she does not care for. “They look at us like, ‘oh that’s fucking dope, damn you’ve been busted! That’s cool!’” she said. “No, I don’t want you guys to view me as that, but then I don’t want to be viewed as ‘look at that fucking pendeja, she came from the streets, I don’t know why she’s acting like she’s good because she’s in college.’” Francoso sees this avoidance and discrimination against formerly incarcerated students in his classes. Even though his courses deal with societal systems and influences that sometimes explain why some people make certain decisions, he says there are some students who still refuse to see formerly incarcerated individuals’ humanity. “I do a lot of group work in classes, and sometimes there are students that don’t want to work with folks who are formerly incarcerated, or they don’t want to sit next to someone who’s formerly incarcerated, or they don’t not want to interact with someone with multiple tattoos,” said Francoso. “It’s hard to see the students who are formerly incarcerated who are really trying to build something new, to really see these inequalities and these stereotypes, and these microaggressions take place in classrooms, that I’m trying to establish as spaces of safety.” But this doesn’t stop them from reiterating that just because they have made what some may deem as poor choices, it should not mean that they be outcasted and not given a chance. “See me for who I am, not for what I have done in the past. Don’t judge me on my past, get to know me for who I am, what I want to do with myself,” Fernandez said. “I’m pretty covered in tattoos. There’s some people covered in tattoos, but don’t judge them just based upon that. See them for who they are, trying to do right, trying to do better for themselves. Vaquerano agrees, in that ignoring them also ignores the struggles this group of students have experienced that may have led to what they have done before. “Be mindful of what they’ve been through,” she said. “They come from broken homes. If you want to know about it, just ask them. Just be kind, just start a conversation with them. Don’t judge someone by what they’ve been through. Because that’s their past, the past is the past. It’s [about who] they are now.” Electa has also had her share of encounters with people who are not sympathetic to this group’s circumstances, but hopes that they can change their view by becoming aware of societal influences and inequalities. “I would want to tell them that everyone has a story and you need to be willing Homeboy Industries is a bakery that employs formerly incarcerated people. to see individuals as individuals but you also need to take a look at society as a whole and how it feeds people into room because of feeling like, ‘oh they’re smarter than me, why am I the prison system,” she said. “People have things that they’ve done that even here?’ It’s just little things like that that start getting to you.” are horrific, but where does that come from? Like, seeing the systemic In addition to this, he also feels alone at times, which comes from issues in society is really important.” not seeing others like him in college. Fernandez thinks that PCC being Though fighting the stigma and overcoming their past is difficult, more welcoming, supportive and open to formerly incarcerated people Vaquerano and Fernandez continue to push themselves, whether in their would allow for more of them to stay in school and reach their goals. current or future endeavors. “I feel out of place right here, it’s like I can’t really relate to nobody,” Fernandez is currently an educational intern at Homeboy Industries, he said. “I don’t see any other gang members here, trying to get right. where he helps other formerly incarcerated individuals pursue their I just feel like there should be a bigger support system and I feel like it goals in academics, providing a guiding force for others that he did not would be more inviting to individuals like me to come out, to come to have when he started at PCC. school and participate, to engage in activities.” “I help out individuals, if they never got their GED or high school On top of this, they also deal with how others view them, typically diploma, I try to help them [get] that,” he said. “If they’re interested in in a negative light. Vaquerano finds that people tend to see her as either going to college, I help them out with their college applications, getting someone to fear or someone to belittle as if she doesn’t belong in coltheir classes, doing the financial aid. I’m mentoring them, giving 15 lege. Further, she has had people aestheticize her time in prison, which them advice, supporting them, giving them a little insight of my
he said. “If there’s a way to empower folks so they could move forward “I help out individuals, if they never got their GED or high school with their own goals, that would be fantastic. If there’s a way to empowdiploma, I try to help them [get] that,” he said. “If they’re interested in er folks, to see this population as human beings, that would be huge.” going to college, I help them out with their college applications, getting Vaquerano, Fernandez and Electa also hope that more formerly incartheir classes, doing the financial aid. I’m mentoring them, giving them cerated people take that next step into pursuing their education and to advice, supporting them, giving them a little insight of my experiences not feel held back by whatever may be bothering them. at school.” “What I can say is, don’t give up. Don’t be like, ‘I’m going through As for Vaquerano, she originally wanted to become a probation this, so I’m not going to do this,’’ Vaquerano said. “I still have challengofficer, but after talking with her boss, she decided she wanted to help es that I have to deal with, but that doesn’t give me a reason to give up, previously imprisoned folks by working outside the prison system as a because I’ve social worker. She made it this specifically wants far. If you need to help formerhelp, ask for ly incarcerated help.” students, such as Electa youth coming out of believes that the juvenile system, formerly incarpursue higher educerated people cation. For her, doshould not ing this work would underestimate represent resistance the support they against the system have, as well and its failure to as not letting hold her back. stereotypes hold “[I’m] like, them back. you know what, “I think it’s fuck you, fuck the a growing system, I’m going community to get my education that people are and I’m going to willing to, I make sure that once don’t even want I’m done with my to say ‘give a education, I’m gosecond chance’ ing to teach that to because there the ones coming up, was no chance so they can do that given in the first as well,” she said. place,” she said. “Basically beating “People are the system in a willing to help way that they don’t other people, to want us to win, build themthrough education selves up and and getting our lives the story that together.” we’ve been told Fernandez echoes about ourselves, her sentiments, in our whole lives, that him simply is not the true continuing with his story. So, it’s education lays a changing that, foundation for other changing how formerly incarceratyou see yourself ed students to build and surrounding upon, showing that yourself with his past background people who see did not stop him you as somefrom being here one who can now. achieve things.” Jessi Fernandez show his tattoos on the Pasadena City College Campus. “I’m a representation of that, I’m Fernandez urges those who are still on the fence about coming to here doing the damn thing,” he said. “I come from that lifestyle, I’m out college to go for it, so as to set an example for others that being incarhere trying to take care of business and trying to pave a way for other cerated does not mean they can’t go to college. individuals like me. To come and try this out, even though its hard and it’s a lot of struggle.” “It’s taking that first step, it starts off by you wanting it. Even if it’s just a little bit of interest, or it came up to your mind, check it out,” he For professor Francoso, he thinks that there is much to gain from listening to formerly incarcerated students’ experiences, and bringing them said. “Try to get more information into it. There’s not a lot of us, but slowly but surely there will be. The more the merrier to bring awareness into the conversation so as to better them and make for a truly inclusive that we matter.” campus. “Their experiences need to be told, their experiences need to be considered, their experiences need to be listened to. A lot of their knowledge is extremely valuable and important, and we can all learn a ton,”
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A troubling misconception of
Story by Anais Covarrubias and Illustrations by Michael Watlkins
My father, Roberto Covarrubias, was raped at the age of 11. As a young boy, unaware of the journey his life had ahead of him, he was stripped of his innocence. My father grew up most of his adolescence in Distrito Federal, Mexico, and after my grandmother left his father, they moved away. He no longer had a male presence in his life, no one to teach him “how to be a man.” My grandmother began to date again, but was always so busy trying to support herself and her son. When she found someone to share life and happiness with, she had no idea they would cause the smile on her son’s face to vanish. When someone experiences sexual assault, they deal with it differently than others; everyone processes their trauma in different ways. My father, in this situation, used alcohol to deal with the guilt he had gone through. He felt like he did not have anyone to confide in with this huge burden on his back. It took him years to finally tell someone and even longer to find acceptance. An organization called 1in6 is dedicated to helping men who have experienced sexual assault and have reported that one in six men experience a form of sexual assault or abuse. Only one in 33 will report it to authorities. One in four women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime and only up to 43 percent of women report it. Our society seems to only
Illustration by Michael Watkins / Spotlight
Male Sexual Assault emphasize support towards women survivors of assault. There are campaigns such as the #MeToo, RAIIN, No More and many others, with all of their websites plastered with the word “women.” On these websites, there are many statistics and facts but there was always just one bullet point for male victims. I spoke with a group of friends at Pasadena City College who were all athletes for the football team. I asked them why do we publicly support women survivors of assault but
Only one in 33 will report it to authorities. One in four women will experience sexual assault in their lifetime and only up to 43 percent of women report it for men it’s different. As they stood there and laughed they kept saying, “Men don’t get raped and if they do why didn’t they defend themselves?” In the group of six friends I was speaking to, I realized that one in six men experience a form
of sexual abuse. After counting out how many of them were standing in front me, I asked what if one of them standing right there experienced sexual assault? What would they do in that scenario? I asked if they would hear their friend out, providing the support they need or will they become upset and see him less than a person. They looked at each other and laughed even more, asking each other, “Are you gay?” According to the Human Rights Campaign, about 26 percent of gay men experience a form of sexual abuse or assault versus 29 percent of heterosexual men. The Canadian organization Association of Alberta Sexual Assault Services addressed the homophobic myth that male sexual assault is related to sexual desire. As we continued with the conversation, I noticed that these student athletes had the strongest opinions on why men simply cannot experience sexual assault. When I spoke with other male students around campus they nicely shrugged their shoulders, uncomfortable with the topic. The most difficult obstacle was getting male students to actually think about these scenarios and how it easily could be anyone. Most of them concluded that in our society there is a certain stigma or belief that if it happens to men, they don’t believe it. After constant rejections and very vague comments, there was a dead end. As someone who has male survivors in their 17
Illustration by Michael Watkins / Spotlight
life, I could see why they never reported it. I have seen the justice system fail women time after time and I could only imagine how much it has failed the brave men who spoke out. My father never told anyone until he was 18; for almost 7 years he had carried this dead weight on his shoulders. He began to drink to numb the memory that is engraved in his mind. It did not happen just once—it went on for 6 months. “I would come home from school and he would call me into my mother’s bedroom and would ask me to perform oral sex on him, and if I didn’t do it he would do bad stuff to my mom,” he said. It was in that moment he mistook his tears and cries for more. My dad felt ashamed every time because in his heart he knew what was happening was extremely wrong. This older man was taking advantage of a child, who did what he had to do to ensure his mother was not harmed for denying his advances. “There was no one there that I trusted enough to tell them. You think that it’s your fault. You kind of block [it] out of your mind for years until it comes out because it’s in the back of your brain, it’s trauma,” he said. “At this stage in my life I’m 43, I wouldn’t do anything drastic but for years I dreamt of killing him. He took my innocence. He took away my childhood … but I’ve forgiven him. It still does not mean what he did was right.” While my father was here in the United States, his family in Mexico was distraught to hear what he had gone through. They sought out retaliation but when they arrived to the man’s house a woman answered the door. After asking of his whereabouts she told them he died a few years prior. For years my father struggled with being an alcoholic, which is
common for survivors to develop a substance abuse. The Mental Health Screening conducted studies that showed victims are 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol and 26 times more likely to abuse drugs than those who have not been sexually abused. There are consequences for all victims, male or female, but the problem is no one was willing to talk about it. Because of this, men are likely to experience PTSD, depression, and anxiety. “Victims of sexual abuse are three times more likely than the average person to suffer from depression, and six times more likely to suffer from posttraumatic stress disorder,” reported Mental Health Screening. “I wasn’t moving forward I was drinking a lot, to the point I could’ve died. So I had to decide do I want to live or do I want to die? To me that was freedom, to be free, to experience life, to let that child grow back in me, grow as an adult.” My father encourages those who are struggling with this trauma to reach out for help outside of their circle because sometimes it’s better to get professional help. He described the feeling of letting that out as a moment of freedom. He advises that students who believe men can’t be raped take into consideration that a rapist is not considering whether you are male or female, they just see their target. “Your sex does not matter, it’s the sick mind that those people have,” he said. “Everybody is vulnerable. Rapists end up being someone close within your circle.” He also encouraged students to keep an open mind as he is now a living example that when someone finally gets that moment of peace, they can begin to enjoy life. They can restore all that’s broken and begin their healing process.
He took my innocence. He took away my childhood … but I’ve forgiven him. It still does not mean what he did was right.”
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400 Years
The Transgenerational Effect Story by: Amber Lipsey
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Later:
s of Slavery in 2019 Photos by. Michael Watkins
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“Although slavery has long been a part of human history, American chattel slavery represents a case of human trauma incomparable in scope, duration and consequence to any other incidence of human enslavement.” -Dr. Joy DeGruy Leary
J
amestown, Virginia. 1619. The first kidnapped African slaves arrived on the shores of the United States, cramped into the bottom of slave ships, naked, malnourished and terrified. They were the first to be subjected to the genocidal horrors of chattel slavery. For the next 246 years, the men, women and children would be starved, beaten, maimed, raped, tortured, and worked to death. In December 1865, slavery in the United States was officially abolished, but the oppression, marginalization and trauma would continue for generations to come. 2019 marks the 400year anniversary of the arrival of the Jamestown slaves, and African-Americans are still suffering from the effects of chattel slavery to this day. Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome (PTSS) theory was coined by Dr. Joy DeGruy-Leary in 2005 after six years of research and is based on post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The theory postulates that descendants of African slaves experience a specific form of PTSD that is generationally passed down as a result of the trauma inflicted during slavery. Examples of PTSS include internalized oppression, self-hatred, fear of police, fear of
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white people, irrational anger, violence, hyper vigilance and high startle responses. “African-American people and people of African descent are extremely resilient, as a matter of fact I think we’re a miracle. We’ve done everything we’ve done thus far with no help, without even the ability to have this discussion, as if it were possible that we escaped injury in all those hundreds of years,” DeGruy-Leary stated during a workshop in 2018. African-Americans not only experience historical trauma passed down from previous generations, but they also do not receive the proper mental health support needed to navigate and heal from said trauma. These effects are widespread and also affect students at Pasadena City College (PCC). Second year PCC student Brandon Wade experiences symptoms of PTSS throughout his daily life and while he studies at PCC. “There have been times I can feel the awareness I have as a black man; I’m not sure if I’m really accepted. I have a trigger in my head where I feel I still need to watch myself. When I go into some environments, I won’t even take my coat and stuff off and I just have a sense of vigilance,” Wade said.
He further explained that he engages in behavior called, “hood awareness” where one is habitually alert and on guard in unknown situations. Wade explained it as something he was taught, without specifically being taught. This includes keeping your eyes on your belongings, knowing where all exits are and not getting too comfortable. This reality is what he deals with as an African-American and Wade believes that other races do not experience this anywhere near to the extent that African-Americans do. . He further expounded on what it feels like to be a Black student on PCC’s campus, especially in classrooms or with other students and professors. “I do feel a lot of stress and concerns because I’m aware of being the token black person in the room. I’m usually fine with talking to anyone but I’m always aware that I am Black. I don’t think that’s something everyone is aware of but I’m always aware. If others don’t respond kindly to me, I automatically assess them as a threat. That’s the awareness that I’ve developed and society has taught me to do it,” Wade said. DeGruy-Leary attributes the transfer of
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PTSS-based trauma to social learning theory, immersing themselves in heavily white social of black slaves, and sought to cure this conwhere one learns from those in their own dition by using a shoemaker’s awl to pry into circles. Respectability politics is a topic of maenvironment. One learned behavior is the fear the skulls of infants and “realign their skulls,” jor debate in the Black community regarding of being deemed “lazy.” This dates back to which resulted in their deaths. whether or not changing wardrobe, behavior slavery and post-reconstruction Jim Crow era and assimilating into white culture can protect Well known examples of experimentation racism. During the minstrelsy period which them from racism. on black bodies are the Tuskegee experiments began in the early 19th century, white performCultural activist and former PCC student, conducted between 1932 and 1972 in which ers began performing in blackface, depicting Jacinta Lawrence, who holds a bachelor’s black men were injected with syphilis to test African-Americans as lazy, buffoonish, and degree in English and Political Science from the effects of untreated syphilis on the human happy-go-lucky dimwits. The most popular Wagner College believes that students may feel body. The men were told they were being characters were the “Sambo” “Zip Coon” and pressure to change their behavior in class to treated for “bad blood” and receiving free “Jim Crow,” first perhealth care, while they were formed by white man, intentionally kept from reThomas Dartmouth “I’ve heard police officers refer to prostitute slayings (or to ceiving the treatment so they Rice. Rice introwould die. Around the same duced the early slave the slayings of blacks) as ‘misdemeanor murders,’ employing period, black women were archetype along with being forcibly sterilized in the song and dance, the U.S. to control the black an unofficial code for them, NHI, no humans involved.” “Jump Jim Crow.” populations Modern day Because of this history, Norm Stamper, author of “Breaking Rank: A Top Cop’s African-Americans African-Americans today internalized this, rarely go to see doctors unExpose of the Dark Side of American Policing” which bred the less they are unable to treat widespread cultural themselves at home, and also belief that, “you have do not seek out treatment for avoid micro-aggressive behavior. to work twice as hard to get half as much as mental health issues. “Students experiencing microaggressions in whites.” DeGruy-Leary noted that one way she Dr. Christopher West, Assistant Professor of Eurocentric pedagogical classrooms may take personally internalizes this is by cleaning hotel History at PCC and Diversity Initiative Coordion a maladaptive false persona of mirroring rooms she stays in. Although hotels have maid nator, commented on the issue of mental health Eurocentric cultural behavior to elevate being service, she will intentionally clean the room and how difficult it may be to find support for it racially targeted in class discussions. However, in the Black community. herself so that she’s not perceived as dirty or this may cause cognitive dissonance, depreslazy. She mentioned a rule she was given as a “At some point there is a biochemical reacsion and shame as the student is not safe to child from her mother that was, “Leave everytion where the body is responding to multiple fully represent themselves in white academia,” thing the same or better than you found it.” generations of trauma and stress. You can see Lawrence said. The racist trope of laziness attributed to those indicators like average life expectancy, “It is my opinion,” she continued, “that many hypertension, all those are symptoms of that, African-Americans during slavery was very convincing, despite slaves working to the point black people do not want to be equal, they want manifested. Do we do a combination of pharto be white. Because white is the symbol of of death. An old slave cemetery was unearthed maceuticals for our health and mental health? freedom. in New York City on Wall Street in the early Fear of doctors is prevalent in African-Amer1990’s. Slave remains were excavated with Photo of shoemaker’s awl: This awl is similar ican communities. Black people have higher post-mortems and DNA tests finding that the to the kind that James Marion Sims used in rates of physiological disease such as hypertenmajority were infants and children. Scienhis experiments on infant slaves by prying sion, heart disease, and stroke due to the effects tists were able to determine that many deaths into their skulls. of racism; however most do not seek medical resulted from malnutrition and starvation by treatment. This is a result of mistrust due to euthe rotting of the teeth and jawline. One adult genics and medical experimentation performed skeleton revealed that much of the body’s muscle had detached from the bones as a result on African-Americans during slavery and Jim Crow. of physical exertion rather than injury. This reDuring slavery, physician Samuel A. Cartvealed that the slaves worked so hard, that the wright sought to prove that blacks were infemuscle detached itself from the bone; injuries rior though medical science. In March 1851, which are not seen in contemporary society. Another facet of PTSS trauma is internalized Cartwright published a study where he coined the term “drapetomania,” a mental disorder racism and self-hatred. This manifests when he claimed was inherent to black people. The African-Americans want to disassociate themdisorder had a single symptom: “the urge to selves with blackness and black culture. It’s escape from slavery.” The goal was to justify prevalent in the entertainment industry and the the forced servitude of negroes by claiming that media, which makes this behavior hyper-visthe “cure” was to keep blacks submissive and ible. Even Wade admits that he’s had these treat them like children. feelings before. Later, James Marion Sims, the father of “I’m usually more hesitant to approach those gynecology and inventor of the speculum, that are black like me because I perceive them experimented on black women with the justifimore quickly as a threat than I would somecation that slave women could bear more pain one of another ethnicity. Because I think they because of their race. He opined that this made would understand how to steal or take somethem “more durable” and well-suited for painthing from me, I’m more inclined to believe ful medical experimentation. He also experithat person might be gunning for me,” he said. mented on black infants and claimed they had Internalized self-hatred can be seen in other a disorder called “trismus nascentium” which ways, such as black people using skin lightenis modern-day neonatal tetanus. He attributed ing creams, believing they can dress or behave this to the “indecency and intellectual flaws” a certain way to avoid racist behavior and
Public domain photos: (Left) Lynching of Elias Clayton, Elmer Jackson and Isaac McGhie in Duluth, MN on June 15, 1920. The men were accused rape, although evidence found no rape had occurred. This image was put on a postcard that white residents bought and mailed to relatives. (Right) Will Brown, 40, was lynched, shot, dragged behind a police car and then burned outside the Omaha Courthouse in Nebraska during the “Red Summer of 1919” after being falsely accused of raping a 19-year-old white woman. Fragments of the rope used to lynch him were sold as souvenirs for 10 cents a piece. Wade said. “I’ve gone out of my way to make ficers are sexual predators. In his book, he deThat’s the one approach that you’re going to sure I’m not being perceived as a threat simply get from therapy. I have continued to advocate scribes officers who fondled prisoners, barterfor students to take advantage of it but psychoing of sexual favors for a prisoner’s release and because I’m black. The reality of PTSS is that we are always aware that we are considered therapy isn’t everyone’s route,” West said. raping teenagers and little girls. “My cautious dangerous because of how society has labeled One of the most currently talked about asguess is that about 5 percent of America’s cops us.” pects of PTSS is fear of law enforcement. Misare on the prowl for women,” he wrote. Mistrust of law enforcement extends to how trust of law enforcement dates back for more Stamper told the Washington Post in 2018 crimes are investigated, adjudicatthan a century, but it came ed and punished. There’s a long into the mainstream public history of African-Americans being consciousness after the “Everybody has to find their way. Cyclically, black convicted and punished for crimes killing of Michael Brown they didn’t commit, while law Jr. in Ferguson, Missouri enforcement knew without a doubt, in 2014. With the advent of folks look to the continent of Africa as a location to they were innocent. The lynching’s smartphones and the ability to livestream, police shoot- find meaning and purpose. Get yourself a passport and of black people that happened due to whites accusing black people ings of black people have hit the internet like a tidal use it because if you’re a domestic black in the US and of fake crimes is a prime example. Black men were lynched beaten wave, showing the world what African-Americans you have not been outside the boundary of the nation and imprisoned because they feared black men raping white women, have experienced at the while white men were raping black hands of law enforcement state, then freedom is unknown to you.” women. for decades. Many modern-day activists have Historically, police -Dr. Christopher West been murdered under suspicious officers started as runaway circumstances, with police closing slave catchers. These slave the cases as suicides, while local activists think patrols and Night Watches evolved into Ameri- that, “Sexual predation by police officers happens far more often than people in the business something more disturbing is at work. can police forces, owing to how white supremare willing to admit.” Ferguson resident Danye Jones was found by acy is ingrained into its fabric. An example of this played out in the national his activist mother Melissa McKinnies, hangNorm Stamper, a former police chief of news when former Oklahoma City police offiing from a tree in their front yard. McKinnies the Seattle police department released a book cer Daniel Holtzclaw was tried and convicted posted photos of her son’s body on her Facecalled “Breaking Rank: A Top Cop’s Expose on eighteen counts of rape, sexual battery and book page claiming that her son was lynched. of the Dark Side of American Policing,” where forcible oral sodomy involving eight different McKinnies, told Inside Edition that she doesn’t he chronicled his 34-year career as a police African-American women. believe her son killed himself, as well as claims officer. Investigators found that Holtzclaw abused of intimidation and threats leading up to her “I’ve heard police officers refer to prostihis position as a police officer by running back- son’s death. tute slayings (or to the slayings of blacks) as ground checks to find information that could be “There were seven occasions when cars ‘misdemeanor murders,’ employing an unoffiwith tinted windows would sit in front of our cial code for them, NHI, no humans involved,” used to coerce his victims into sex. All of his victims were black women. house and when we would approach them and Stamper wrote. Another code he mentioned is “I do have a heightened sense of anxiety they would drive off,” McKinnies said of the an “11-13 nigger” where 11-13 is code for an around cops. I’m always aware of cops, secumonths before her son died. Another time, she injured animal. said, six police officers stood outside staring at rity guards, and how I’m perceived by them,” Stamper also disclosed that many police of-
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her home “for no apparent reason.” McKinnies also stated that her son was not suicidal and the sheet he was hanging from was tied in military knots, which he did not know how to tie. She also said he had blood spatter on his shirt and a bruise on his eye. Missouri State Senator Maria Chapelle-Nadal, an activist who took to the streets during the Ferguson Uprising, tweeted that she believed these types of deaths were not coincidental. “I found out this morning another young man from my district died in the same fashion as two or three other people who were active in Ferguson,” she said in a speech on the Missouri Senate floor. “The people who were murdered at this point, they were all people who have been seen prominently in the media.” In 2009, DeGruy-Leary spoke with Essence magazine about a controversial cultural behavior that African-Americans grow up with; Spanking. During slavery, to keep their children safe, parents tended to be overly punitive. Children were physically punished to keep them in control rather than let them be punished by the white slave master or the overseer. Parents were also overly strict and used spanking to look powerful to their children to hide the fact that they were powerless due to slavery. This style of parenting has continued to be passed down, along with the inability of children to question their parents without meeting more anger and aggression. “I’ve seen so many other parents struggle with this, and they had to learn to hug their own children. For some of us, there’s a fear of loving too much, because during slavery there was never any guarantee that families wouldn’t be split apart. In a word, it’s abandonment, abandonment deep down,” DeGruy-Leary said. “It’s similar with praise. The slave master may have noted that the child is “coming along,” but the mother would state his bad qualities—he’s stupid, shiftless, unruly, can’t work—to keep him from being sold. Many of us normalized that pathology and now, even though a parent may be very proud of a child, there is a downplay of praise. That creates children who wonder ‘Am I not good enough?’ or who are desperate to make their parents proud,” DeGruy-Leary continued. PTSS and its effects have been identified, but the solutions for how to treat and heal from this trauma is still a subject of debate. In schools, DeGruy-Leary stated in an interview with The Chalkboard Project, that in order for teachers to reach their black students, they must engage their students in ways that are empathetic to their experiences, and attempt to see the world through their lens. “This is not complicated. You check in with them: ‘How are you doing? What’s happening? Anything we need to talk about?’ Now, sometimes you get teachers who say that’s not their role, that’s not their responsibility. They have to open their eyes to what’s really going on! When I visit successful education programs around the country, I see master teachers who can integrate their students’ social and cultural realities into the learning experience. These teachers have high expectations. Their kids
feel honored and cherished and loved, and they want to achieve. And not all these teachers are black—they connect because they ‘get it,’” DeGruy-Leary said. When asked about the concept of equity in academic institutions, DeGruy-Leary said that institutions should do less talking about equity and instead put in place structures and policies that enable individuals to function. Equity must be a pragmatic approach to finding solutions and making sure that, “what is honest, just and fair is on the front line of what’s driving an institution.” Dealing with PTSS-related trauma can be difficult, not just because of the fear of doctors, but also due to religious taboos surrounding psychiatry. It has long been considered shameful to seek help from psychiatrists, therapists and pharmaceutical cures. Many continue to suffer in silence, or they attempt to find healing through connection with the community. West spoke of the need for the Black community to find or create spaces specifically for Black people to connect, network and feel safe. “The other piece of it has to come back to this a fictive kinship; A network of blacks or something else holding them together. There are very few gathering spaces outside of church in a fractured metropolis. Black folks need to be in each other’s space and each other’s company. If we don’t create those spaces, the desire doesn’t go away, we just don’t have the spaces available to do it.” Some believe traveling to one of the African nations would help with trauma by reconnecting to the ancestral homeland. In Lesotho, South Africa, Dr. Joy DeGruy walked into the home of a family who hosted her and seven other women during a trip to establish relationships with African women in the country. There were many people from several towns and villages for the get together, so translators were available. During introductions, DeGruy told the attendees they were African-American women hoping to build a relationship with their African sisters. One man began to translate for the other attendees and DeGruy noticed he had been speaking for a long time. DeGruy asked what the translator said to the group. He said, “I told them exactly what you said but when I got to the point where you said you were African-American women, I needed to explain what that meant. Many of the people in the audience are from small, isolated villages with limited exposure to outsiders and they thought that all Americans were white. So, I had to explain to them that the eight of you were the descendants of the ones who had been stolen away. They were chanting back to you, Welcome Home.” Whatever the solution, West believes that every African-American should travel outside of the U.S. “Everybody has to find their way. Cyclically, black folks look to the continent of Africa as a location to find meaning and purpose. Get yourself a passport and use it because if you’re a domestic black in the US and you have not been outside the boundary of the nation state, then freedom is unknown to you.”
Top: An article from the Valley Morning Star newspaper in Harlington, TX on April 14, 1937. Middle: Facebook post from Melissa McKinnies, an activist in Ferguson, MO who believes her son Danye Jones was lynched outside their home October 17, 2018. Bottom: Photo of Frederick Jermaine Carter of Greenwood, MS found hanging from a tree in 2010. Local community members demanded an independent investigation due to beliefs he was lynched.
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