Oral History 62
I used to tell them, “Pretend you don’t know each other.” But now that I think about it, all the kids waited in one line, with one dollar each and only three tomato cans each, and I stood in the line behind them. I am guessing the cashier was not that much of an idiot. Caitlyn, I was not allowed to date when I was in high school. I still dated though. One night, I told my parents I was going to the movies with my girlfriend, but I was really going to meet a boy. When I left my house he met me down the block, and we rode the trolley to the movie theatre. My cousin-in-law was on the trolley too, but he nodded to me, as if he were saying, “Don’t worry, I won’t say a thing.” He winked at us when we left the trolley, and I was relieved. When I got home, my father called me to the kitchen. I was so nervous that my cousin had said something to him. My father said, “I was driving by the movie theatre, and I saw you with that boy.” My face must have gone milk-white, but he then said, “But I’m not going to tell your mother because she will get mad.” Later that night, my mother called me into the kitchen too, and I thought my father had told her. She said, “I saw you with that boy, Maria Stella! But I won’t tell your father, because he will get mad.” At first, I had been so scared, but then it ended up being a comedy. I wonder if my mother and father ever found out that the other knew what was going on. Not many girls went to college in those days for anything other than finding a husband. While I was in college, I also was working at Metropolitan Life Insurance Company as a secretary. Well, I think women should work. I was lucky because my parents wanted me to work. You have to be independent in case something happens to you. Then again, I really think women should stay home with the children. But there are so many opportunities for you these days. You can really do whatever you want. I did not meet your grandfather in college. Our families did not know each other, even though he was Italian. His father was from Sicily and his mother was from Napoli. He was the cat’s meow. He had jet-black hair that he slicked back, and bright blue eyes. (That’s where your cousin Maria gets her blue eyes from.) Our neighborhood used to have many clubs and dances to get the kids off the streets and doing something fun. When I say clubs, I do not mean those terrible places people go to today, but clubs, you know, like Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts,
or the Sons of Italy. I met your grandfather at an Italian Charities dance. We hit it off right away. I had dated before I met him, but not much. He fit perfectly with my family, and most importantly, he was from a good family. I got married on February the fourteenth, 1953. We did not pick the date because it was Valentine’s day, but it was nice anyway, and very romantic. I was actually twentyseven when we got married, which was older than usual. Twenty-seven is a good age—your aunt got married when she was twenty-one, but don’t get any ideas. That boy your sister went with was nice, but you tell me when she finds a nice Italian Catholic boy to take care of her. But things are different today and you girls are in no rush. When you get married, though, you must think of how you are to discipline your children. Oh, your father was such a little troublemaker. We called him “Little Destructo.” When he was four, he went around with a baseball bat and hit all the mailboxes in the neighborhood, just for fun. And one time—oh, I was so dumb—I was driving the kids to see my uncle in the Bronx, and they were misbehaving. Florestano and your father were bothering Francesca, but Violanda was in the front seat asleep like a little angel, bless her. She’s so good. But I had enough of it, pulled over on the parkway, and got out of the car to spank them. Well, I left my key in the ignition, and your father and uncle locked me out. I was pounding on the car like a madwoman, but the kids thought it was so funny, and wouldn’t let me in. Francesca finally let me in. Of course, it was funny, but at the time I was livid. Caitlyn, I just have one more thing to say. Girls do not know how to be ladies these days. When I grew up, I understood it. There were rules set down; no one told them to me, but I saw. I saw ladies, and I always wanted to dress like and behave like a lady to the best of my ability. I think we should dress ladylike and always act like others are watching. I never leave the house without my jewelry. Even when I worked with your grandfather in the store, I always wore a skirt or a dress. I loved it—I met different people and learned about people, but I never forgot that I was a lady. Now, would you like to take some cookies home?
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