The Milton Paper NOVEMBER 22, 2016
VOL. 34, NO. 09
MILTON’S INDEPENDENT WEEKLY STUDENT NEWSPAPER
The Definitive Ranking of Thanksgiving Foods
Campus Safety’s Misleading Parking Tickets
By NAVPREET SEKHON
#7 Sweet Potatoes Sweet potatoes are like walking to assembly on a cold winter Friday morning. It’s not great, it’s not comfortable, but at least you know the day will get better, just like the meal will. Combining marshmallows alone and sweet potatoes straight up does not work. Get rekd. If you want to improve your potatoes, include pecans, brown sugar, and vanilla extract in addition to the marshmallows because sweet potatoes are not actually sweet and need to be sweetened.
#6 Cranberry Sauce Just like how people shouldn’t sing Christmas songs until after Black Friday, we shouldn’t eat cranberry sauce until Christmas. If prepared the normal way, cranberry sauce is more like a tart jam that is sometimes slapped onto dry turkey. But at Milton not actually Milton, but you get it, we do things the *kinky* way; put a spin on the sauce too much sauce and add orange zest, cloves, allspice berries, cinnamon, and overt amounts of sugar.
#5 Green Bean Casserole This is a huge hit or miss. Kind of like America right now. I’m sure that green bean casserole might feel hated because it’s different, but if we really work with it and beautify it, it can be great. We don’t need to make green bean casserole great again because it’s already great. Personally, I think every food on this list has a possibility to be the best, but we need definitive rankings. Therefore, dank-ify the casserole by adding condensed cream of mushroom soup, soy sauce, and french fried onions.
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#4 Will Shock You!
COURTESY OF MALCOLM
A parking ticket on a student's car.
By JIMMY DELANO AND JACK SLOANE Over the past weeks, a rising number of upperclassmen have reported finding parking “tickets” on the hoods of their cars. Class I and II Day Students struggle to understand the meaning of such tickets. In fact, Campus Safety tickets are unenforceable and function purely as a warning. With no jurisdiction over Centre Street, Campus Safety cannot issue enforceable“tickets,” as we commonly perceive them, or pull over any cars for a traffic violation. These tickets, marked with violations and fines up to $50, mislead many since the recipient is not obligated to pay the fine issued by Milton Campus Safety officers. Director of Campus Safety Jay Hackett accredited this confusion to the outdated format of the parking violation tickets and the unnecessary presence of dollar values on the righthand margin. In addition, the bottom of each
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ticket states that a “first violation fine will be waived if [returned] to Campus Safety.” Neither the Student Handbook nor Mr. Hackett express that a student should ever pay monetarily for any driving error. Students are warned to not completely ignore the warnings, as other forms of repercussions can follow. According to the Student Handbook, a first violation of parking without registration will result in a “conversation with a class dean.” Future offenses will result in ‘Dean’s Office Hours’ as determined by the Dean of Students. Precedent does not align with the rules as outlined in the Handbook. An unregistered, Class II student driver explained that a Campus Safety Officer threatened to ban him from ever parking on campus again if the student were to keep parking while unregistered. The student has not yet registered his car and has not been banned by that Campus Safety Officer, demonstrating an inconsistency between
A Campus Safety Officer threatened to ban him from ever parking on campus again.
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Inside This Issue ORIGIN STORY page 3
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT page 7
PREMIER LEAGUE ROUNDUP page 14
HACK VS. JV page 15
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The Milton Paper The 34th Editorial Board
Editors-in-Chief Managing Editor Editor at Large Opinion Manager News Managers Senior Editors
Malcolm McCann and Eli Burnes Letitia Chan Cheyenne Porcher Mateen Tabatabaei Marshall Sloane and Henry Westerman
Chloe Kim and Henry Burnes
A&E Editor Rachel Handler Opinion Editor Gabrielle Fernandopulle Faculty Sponsor Lisa Baker
Sports Editor Peter Digiovanni
Layout Editor Jack Daley Photo Editor Caroline Massey Cartoonist Lilly Le
Associate Editors Navpreet Sekhon Jonah Garnick Nihal Raman Website Manager Alex Iansiti
News
Opinion
Abby Walker Alexandra Millard Allison Reed Elina Thadhani Ellie Lachenauer Evita Thadhani Lyndsey Mugford Jack Sloane Juliana Viola Sarah Alkhafaji Will Torous Jimmy Delano
Barbara McDuffee Celena Eccleston Elaine Wu Jerome Vainisi Molly Wilson Natasha Roy Noah Cheng Rachel Ding Serena Fernandopulle Vivian Soong Willa DuBois William Kim Jack Weiler Pierce Wilson Jessica Wang Pierce Wilson Jessica Kim Edward Moreta
A&E Aditya Gandhi Emma Comrie Emma James Liz Foster Zoe Camaya Olivia Zhong Pierce Wilson Madison Lynch Hannah Hachamovitch Columnists Michelle Erdenesanaa Tyler Piazza Semi Oloko Coalter Palmer Thea McRae Hana Tatsutani Clare Lonergan
Sports Chris Mathews Liam Kennedy Sarah Willwerth Sophia Li Theo Miailhe Humor Sophia Wilson-Pelton Lydia Hill Zack Herman Nick Govindan
Milton’s Independent Weekly Student Newspaper “A Forum for Discussion and Thought” Founded 1979 • Publishing Weekly Since 1983 Founders David Roth • Mark Denneen The Milton Paper is an independent, student-produced publication. It does not necessarily represent the views of the students, faculty, administration, or Milton Academy itself. Please do not copy or reproduce without permission. Letters Policy: The Milton Paper gladly accepts letters from anyone who sends them. We do not promise to publish any or all letters, and we retain the rights to edit letters for content, length, and clarity. We will not publish anonymous letters. If inclined, please take the opportunity to write to us. Send letters by mail (Letters to the Editor, The Milton Paper, Milton Academy, 170 Centre Street, Milton, MA 02186), by email (TheMiltonPaper34@gmail.com), or by personal delivery to our office Warren 304.
Editorial
Activities Scramble Every fall, Milton students embark on the “activities scramble” where they attempt to bolster their resume by acquiring a hodgepodge of after school, student run clubs. Clubs have the capacity to foster smaller, focused communities on campus that spawn action and learning, yet the efforts to acquire or create activities strictly for resume building destroy these opportunities. The Milton Academy community has more clubs and activities than ever before. According to Ms. Reiser, Milton Academy currently offers over 60 after school clubs and organizations. Around one-third of the organizations are affinity groups for different races, ethnicities, and religions. The expansion of affinity groups represents a natural effect of the strong diversity at Milton Academy. However, the remaining two-thirds of activities focus on a skill or interest that overlaps with another organization. Clubs can be an incredibly important asset, for they allow all students to find a series of after school activities which interest them. Unfortunately, the focus on resume building leads to students dabbling in too many clubs. Many underclassmen often enroll in more than one club per an activities period. The incredible over-commitment can lead to heads anticipating levels of dedication which overextended members cannot satisfy. Students rarely consider the expectations and responsibilities associated with being a member of an organization. The lack of commitment to on campus activities causes clubs and teams which require large dedication to see less interest. Club leadership perpetuates the issues, for leaders frequently neglect to lay out clear expectations and continue the club’s mission. Also, students, upon founding a new club, are so concerned with a strong resume that they rarely consider how to guarantee that their club continues upon their absence. Many new organizations do not publish meeting times, lay out a plan for future heads, or display any vision in expanding interest. No plans for future leadership often dooms many clubs in their infancy. Furthermore, reduced efforts to grow interest erode the core benefit of a new club: bringing different people together due to a common interest or skill. New student organizations present an incredible chance to grow leadership skills, develop an area of interest or experience, and introduce Milton to new ideas; regardless, club founders rarely consider these key principles behind founding a new organization. Milton Academy students can do little to change the “activities scramble” until they realize that displaying little dedication to organizations neither bolsters their application nor improves their Milton Academy experience. When it comes to activities, depth trumps breadth. •
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News
Dr. Vanessa Cohen, Origin Story By LINDSEY MUGFORD This year, Dr. Vanessa Cohen joined the math faculty and moved into Hallowell House after having taught at Garrison Forest School in Baltimore for several years. While in Baltimore, Dr. Cohen spearheaded the integration of newer teaching techniques into the curriculum. “Coming right out of grad school, I had only ever seen traditional teaching,” said Cohen. “I didn’t have a model for what a more interactive approach might look like, so I began teaching math very old school, just scribbling on the board.” However, as time went on Dr. Cohen couldn’t help but feel that the traditional approach wasn’t working. “It just really disheartened me to be teaching a class and look out at kids who are barely keeping up with just taking notes, knowing that they’re not processing a single thing,” she said of her experience. “So, I started trying to come up with different approaches that I could implement myself at that school.” Attempting to implement new teaching tactics in a traditional environment was far from easy; In addition to having to create all of her own content, Cohen was constantly challenged by students and parents alike who didn’t know how to respond to the new model. “I tried to have conversations about that discomfort, and I tried to be very transparent about the benefits I saw in approaching things this way,” Cohen explained. In the end, Cohen admits that although she was fond of the school, she needed a change. “I wanted to be somewhere with a more unified vision of what math teaching was,” she said. “And I found that here.” However, for Cohen, teaching extends beyond classroom material. “My number one priority as an educator is equity,” Cohen said. “Everyone should have the opportunities that they deserve. I think a lot about students with marginalized identities,” she specified. Much of this desire to create a safe space for students stems from her own high school experience. Cohen grew up in a predominately white suburb of St. Louis, whose high school had a desegregation program. “The program would bus black kids from the city to
county schools,” Cohen explained. This program did little more than create a racial divide at the school. “The culture of the school wasn’t ready to support anybody who wasn’t white,” Cohen continued. “There was a lot of conflict and contention between kids and teachers” As a biracial student, this proved a challenging environment. “It was really confusing for me, racial identity wise,” Cohen admitted. “By the time I got to high school, kids wouldn’t accept me. I didn’t have a lot of friends of any race because there were social repercussions from hanging out with me from either side.” This divided culture extended beyond the students to the school’s administration as well. Cohen recalled one particular moment with the vice principal. “I had been pushed down the stairs by the football team,“ she remembered. “And he told me, ‘if you weren’t the way that you are, then this wouldn’t happen to you.’ That was the school’s response to me.” Although Cohen’s high school academics suffered as a result of the school environment, things changed upon her arrival at college. “When I went to community college, I found that I was actually really good in school,” Cohen said. “I showed up to every college class, I did all of my homework, I attended every study group. It was just really important to me.” In reflecting on her academic journey through high school and college, Cohen emphasised how thankful she was. “I was really fortunate in a lot of ways,” she said. “I’m grateful that I had to go that long way to get there.” Now, as an educator, Cohen’s first priority is making sure that school can be a safe place for all students, regardless of identities they hold. “I think a lot about my own privilege and how I need to use that to dismantle the injustice that faces people,” she explained. “That’s very important to me. I try to see every kid as an individual and figure out what makes them who they are, and what makes them learn best. But it’s not only about learning math,” Cohen continued. “It’s about them learning about who they are, how they can advocate for themselves, and how they can form relationships. Everything. And I want to be there for all of those aspects of development.” •
A Supplement to HS&R By ALEX MILLARD A group of students and faculty members banded together this past school year to create a new safe space for LGBTQIA+ identifying students. It’s not a replacement for HS&R but rather an addition to the sexed class. Last year’s GASP members suggested creating the new affinity space which has yet to be named. When asked about the formation of the group, Ms. Barnett, one of the faculty sponsors, said, “I was approached by some of the leaders of GASP who felt that, though HS&R is a great class, the material didn’t totally fit their experiences.” Ms. Barnett allied with eager students and Mr. Heath to create a space where members of the LGBTQIA+ community could share their experiences and learn about relationships. Unsure of how to run the group, Ms. Barnett, Mr. Health, and a group of upperclassmen tested out different curriculums for the new class. “It was very experimental,” said Sarah Miller-Bartley, one of the co-heads. “The focus on LGBTQIA+ students added a lot of obstacles as well as a lot of new considerations.” After many weeks, the group found the best topics to stimulate engaging conversations and create a course to make a “safe and confidential environment” for both out and closeted students. Whereas HS&R primarily focuses on sexual orientation, this safe space encourages conversations about gender identity, gender presentation, and intersectionality. Discussions around stigmas and feelings are more encouraged than learning about sexual relations. Unlike HS&R, the location and members of this group are kept secret to protect students that feel unsafe sharing their identities. The leaders strive to make a space that is welcoming and secure, so they make confidentiality one of their main priorities. Similar to HS&R, the LGBTQIA+ team emphasizes the importance of safe sex, teaching about contraception, STDs, and consent. This new “HS&R with a twist” wants to help the Milton community encourage and celebrate their identities while still feeling safe. To find out more about the group, you can email Zack Herman (I), Hannah Congdon (I), or Sarah Miller-Bartley (I). •
Enjoy Break!
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News
New Student Center Bathrooms
Athletic Gear By ELLIE LAUCHENAUER
ELI BURNES/TMP
The doors of the second floor stu bathrooms.
By SARAH ALKHAFAJI The upstairs bathrooms in the Student Center were completely renovated at the end of October. They are now fixed with new and improved features, including new walls, flooring, and lighting. The intent of the renovation was improving the privacy, environmental impact, and efficiency in cleaning and maintaining the stalls. Mr. Jim Selman, Associate Director for Construction and Standards with the Milton Academy Facilities Services, says, “The restrooms were installed in 2003, and over time the products did not stand up to the use and daily volume of these facilities.” After deciding the bathrooms needed fixing, Facilities Services went to work, enlisting and administering both an architectural firm and a general contracting firm to do the job. The team then worked together to install the new features. “Some examples of the changes made,” Mr. Selman explains, “include hanging the partitions from the ceiling to make cleaning of the restrooms more efficient for our custodial staff; we also utilized more durable wall coverings and finishes to extend the life of these rooms [meaning that] the ‘wallpaper’ will stand up better to cleaning solution.” Facilities managed to complete the renovations with more sustainable features as well as new features. This includes electric hand dryers and flushing toilets
equipped with the latest technology to conserve water, keeping up with environmental standards. However, the main concern of the renovation was the wellbeing of the students and people who utilized the bathrooms. Mr. Selman says, “We improved upon the design of the privacy aspects of the rooms as well; all of the stalls in the men’s bathroom were reoriented against the back wall.” Previously, the bathroom was oriented such that boys using the stalls could be seen when the door was opened. With the new design, including the new partitions, this is no longer an issue. “The renovation turned out great,” says Hannah Congdon (I), “Freshmen never really got to see how different some of the places around here are from previous years, including that bathroom. There were plastic doors/partitions [as opposed to now, with what appears to be wooden doors] and it wasn’t nearly as fancy as it is now.” Over the summer, the school’s Facilities also added four new classrooms in Ware, Wigglesworth, and Cox library using underutilized areas, and placed new furniture and renovations in Forbes, Goodwin, and Hathaway. The Facilities office is happy to accept any feedback on the new renovations, stating, “We are pleased with the outcome of this project and so far, and we believe that the community has received it positively.” •
Mr. Bland: the next Howard Dean???
According to Mr. Reddicks, “boys and girls [teams] have the same budget” for team gear (this includes uniforms, practice jerseys, and warmups). However, Mr. Reddicks said that “buying football uniforms is different from buying basketball uniforms,” so some sports teams are allotted a different budget based simply off of the amount of material that is needed to make the uniform. Furthermore, depending on the sport, some teams are given practice jerseys and warm-ups, such as basketball, while other teams are given only warm-ups. In addition, each sports team has a “discretionary fund” that supplies them with money to buy additional gear. For example, this year the girl’s soccer team received white, long-sleeved shirts funded by Milton. The total of these white shirts came out to around $600. Mr. Reddicks said that the discretionary fund is the same for every team on campus. However, Gabrielle Fernandopulle (I) said that these discretionary funds are funded in part by “parents”, part by Milton, and they are run through the business office. Last year, according to Clare Lonergan (I), girls’ hockey received winter jackets funded in part by the school and part by parents. It is unclear where the total expenses for these funds come from; however, some teams get free gear each year while others do not. Although no teams are sponsored by an outside franchise, teams may often receive gear from these outside companies. For example, two years ago, girls and boys basketball were given team shoes, “courtesy of Adidas,” according to Mr. Reddicks. Emily Jiang (I) also said that the “boys track team received quarterzips for winning ISLs.” Salaries among coaches are also presumed to be equally divided among teams. Mr. Reddicks said that all coaches who are already part of the Milton faculty are paid alongside their work salaries. Salaries differ among head coaches, varsity coaches, and thirds coaches. However, Mr. Reddicks could not comment on the individual salaries of each coach. Though Title 9 and institutional funds Funding for sport’s teams is complicated by earmarked donations, differing costs, “parents funds”.•
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Opinion
Moving to Canada
COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
By EMMA JAMES The sun has risen fourteen times since Trump was elected president. More than half of American voters are displeased by the results. Many are so displeased, in fact, that they have since taken to social media in outrage and taken to the streets to riot. Many cannot imagine living in a country run by an entirely conservative government, led by a flamboyant, billionaire sex abuser and his anti-gay sidekick. Many fear their safety, and rightfully so. But as two wise women once said, “when they go low, you go to high,” and by high, I mean latitudinally. According to the online how-to database wikiHow, there are eleven easy steps involved in moving to Canada, with just seven of which involving the technicalities of the process: applying for a Visa, gathering necessary documents, and applying for citizenship. That part is clearly as minor a detail as any American threatening to leave has considered. If you’re planning on getting out in a hurry, your best bet would be to apply Express Entry as either a skilled worker or a skilled tradesman to obtain permanent residence, as the maximum processing time is six months after completing the application. For those applying to any status, temporary or permanent: after making a profile on the “Immigration and citizenship” section of the official Canadian government website, typing your entire identity into the online forms, applying for a work or study permit, receiving an initial Permanent Residence card, obtaining your Electronic Travel Authorization, paying the application fee, and waiting for your
visa to arrive by mail – a process almost as stress-free as applying to prep school or college – you can finally enter the country of your dreams. Once you’ve gained access to the promised land, the possibilities are endless (disclaimer: skilled workers or tradesmen need to apply for work in Quebec by a secondary process). Canada has three territories, and more specifically, ten provinces. If you happen to be indecisive or just very carefree about choosing your new home, the Buzzfeed quiz “We Know Which Canadian City You Should Actually Live In” is the no-fail guaranteed decision maker for you. But what about an actual house? Global News Canada claims that “Toronto’s average price for a two-bedroom unit is $1,269 and in Vancouver it is $1,345” per month rent, as of August, 2015. And for those that want to settle in more permanently: on March 25, 2016, Huffington Post Canada posted a list of real Canadian houses whose ads list them at a price equal to that of a car (for more information on “The cheapest cities to live in Canada," check out the Canadian news source The Loop). The Bank of Canada released on July 13, 2016 that it held its target interest rate at 0.50%, much better than Bank of America’s current 3.875% 30-year fixed mortgage rate. While you’ll be settling down into this new “land of beautiful women, inexpensive hard liquor and polar bears,” according to Urban Dictionary user asef, you certainly won’t be the only ex-American on the block.
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Parking Tickets CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1 the rules and reality. When asked his opinion, Mr. Hackett recognized that his officers try their best to connect with the student body and having to give such tickets is unpleasant and unfortunate. Still, he is left with no choice, for the sheer amount of parking location violations and the amount of unregistered senior and junior cars is more than substantial. For example, Day Students’ blatant disregard for the rule of registering one’s car can be seen on a daily basis. Hackett reported that on November 4, 2016, “27 out of 62 senior cars were unregistered.” Thus, Mr. Hackett and his officers issued tickets stating students’ violations of the parking laws of Milton Academy in order to uphold regulations set by the student handbook and maintain safety and accountability. Campus Safety officers “are not out to get you,” explained Mr. Hackett. Despite the inconvenience, registering one’s car serves a very necessary purpose for safety. Mr. Hackett and his officers strive to create a healthy environment on campus. Although, when Mr. Hackett receives countless reports and teacher complaints of improperly parked cars, he has few options. Mr. Hackett relayed instances in which he received pictures from teachers of student vehicles in faculty spaces, a stark reminder of the contentious parking environment on campus. By having all cars registered, several problems can be easily solved, as Mr. Hackett outlined. For example, cars have had the tendency to slide together down Chapel Hill during the winter as a result of melting ice. This phenomenon creates a clogged and unsafe positioning of cars that have, in the past, only been able to be untangled by a tow truck. Moreover, students have another bad habit: leaving his or her car’s lights on. The owner of an unregistered vehicle cannot be contacted by Mr. Hackett. Therefore, if the car battery dies and needs a jump later, as Mr. Hackett explained, Campus Safety’s aid may be significantly delayed. Mr. Hackett also reported instances in which students have parked their unregistered cars blocking necessary Flick operations; Mr. Hackett was then unable to contact the owner of the car to remove the vehicle. He also noted the importance of being able to recognize all cars on campus, for when Hackett’s officers are on patrol, they want to be able to quickly identify if a car should or should not be on on campus. Mr. Hackett hopes that students an realize how the benefits of registering one’s care far outweigh the minimal costs. After all, “It’s really not that hard to register your car,” according to Mr. Hackett. •
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Opinion Staying Found
By MALCOLM McCANN Imagine being alone and lost in a vast forest. The landscape has devolved into consistency. All the trees look the same. The ground is brown. The sky is blue. This is all you know. And what you do not know is devastating. You have lost all direction. You are so confused you cannot even retrace the steps you have taken. Lostness is clouded thinking. Conceit takes the reins. You walk in the direction you think you came, but you are mortally wrong. Suddenly the lostness sets in. A bead of sweat drips down your face as the temperature lowers with the sun. You have been lost for an endless amount of time. You realize what you should do. You blow your whistle, you stay still, but these tasks are fruitless since you have moved yourself farther and farther from camp. With no food, no water, no warm layers, and no protection from the looming beasts of the woods you could very well die. Staying found and getting lost is sometimes the difference between life and death in the forest. I am fascinated, maybe even obsessed, with the idea of being lost. I have grown up getting lost. There was a phase in my life when I had just learned to walk, and with mobility came curiosity. I have wandered the decks of a vast cruise ship with no direction. I have moved aisle to aisle in my local Whole Foods. Countless times I would look up and reach a sudden realization that my mother was not by my side. Then the floodgates burst. I begin to cry. A nameless feeling flows through my mind, a special mix of anxiety, fear, and paralysis. As I grew older I found myself getting lost in new ways, particularly in the outdoors. As every hiker before me, I began by hiking on paths. Wooden planks at the Mass Audubon wildlife sanctuaries were my muse. Day hikes in nearby forests were an adventure, but, as any adventurer, I wanted more. For a number of years, I left my home to attend summer hiking programs. With time, I moved from the frontcountry, established campground, to the backcountry, remote undeveloped land with no trails. Backcountry hiking is now my passion, but by nature the style lends itself to calamity. I’ve found myself in tight situations over the years. Hiking along ridges as lightning cracks. Not having a proper source of water at night. A flooding river with no dry ground to sleep on. In the abstract, things could go seriously wrong while hiking in the backcountry. Yet, when things do go
COURTESY OF GOOGLE IMAGES
wrong you can just walk out the way you came in, and even if that means days of travel I can take solace in this fact. Still, getting lost in the backcountry is a grave situation. But how do you get lost in the wilderness? What leads to this deadly situation? The clear answer is a clouded mind. By nature a clouded mind is when you are not thinking clearly; your legs move with thoughtlessness, the steps are untraceable in your mind. You are walking without thinking at all. You walk for hours without looking at your map. You forget your GPS and rescue locator at home. You think your navigation skills are unparalleled but instead you have led yourself into a treacherous situation. The consequences of a clouded mind are evident in the wilderness, but they are often forgotten closer to home. Prior to each class, I put my phone on silent and slip it into the front pocket of my backpack. After each class I press the home button to view the newest updates. Sometimes I receive a text from my mom, and other times I receive a string of Facebook messages from a group chat. All too recently I have been receiving a completely new update of a classic genre: the lost email. ‘Lost’ emails have been in existence since the days of First Class, yet this year they have become legitimized. Some question the new email forum’s effectiveness, while others point to the sheer absurdity of the clutter. I sometimes read these emails, but that’s the farthest my feeling of civic responsibility extends. I’ve never made a concerted effort to ‘keep my eyes open,’ as the emails
ask, let alone look for a person’s lost item. Plainly stated, ‘lost’ emails are fruitless. I would call you delusional if you sent an email about losing your jacket thinking the piece of clothing would suddenly be found. Milton Academy’s campus is too vast, too complex for a ‘lost’ email to be effective. Still, they are a psychological imperative. I understand why people email about losing their belongings, and I’ve come to realize the emails signal a flawed culture prominent in this school. First, a student loses their item, an event entirely similar to getting lost in the woods. The student must have a clouded mind to misplace an item of extreme importance. In the woods, thoughtlessness leads to lostness, but at Milton lostness is caused by the exact opposite. Students are thinking of too much, they are overstimulated. The item you carry in your hand disappears as you are thinking about the three major assignments due that very week. The more stimulated your mind is, the farther away you walk from your belongings. Soon, like a child who wandered away from his mother, like a hiker walking mindlessly in the woods, a feeling of tumult cuts your being in two. You check all the usual places: your pockets, your backpack, your sports bag, and you find nothing. Next, you have the distinct realization that you lost your item and you immediately feel the consequences. A lost phone means you cannot text your mother when you leave school, and she sits on the other end thinking you are being rude and
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Opinion
Staying Found CONTINUED FROM PAGE 6 estranged not answering her texts. A lost book or folder means you are academically crippled and you fall behind in class. A lost sweater means you feel the biting cold as you walk from class to class. You need to find this item; without it you will continue to face disruption. You retrace your steps and check everywhere you’ve been. You check the floors of your classrooms. You, in a sense, have become lost yourself. The stress that caused the lost item is exacerbated to the point the routine you depend on has been upended. You need to find this item, but all search has been useless. You open your email and you attempt to recruit the entire upper school to your aid with a ‘lost’ email: a last ditch effort. However, everyone else is in your situation. Everyone else has three major assignments in one week. Everyone else is so concerned about themselves that they pay no regard to your email. Furthermore, everyone else has the audacity to mock these emails. While one student suffers to the point of sheer desperation, another is annoyed by their email. Lostness is an indicator of the toxic stress culture at Milton Academy. Students are so stressed and so overstimulated they cannot keep track of their essentials, and the product of their stress worsens their situation. There is no compassion in this story, no one thinks about the devastation of losing a key item until it happens to them. People sympathize with those lost in the wilderness, but never consider the struggle of their peers. Perhaps I’ve overdramatized this entire scenario. Maybe life at Milton is simpler than I’ve thought and losing things is inevitable. Still, ‘Lost’ emails are still a cry for help––there truly is a deeper, darker reality to the emails than many fail to understand. You may ask me how to not get lost, or, with a positive outlook, how to stay found. I don’t know if there’s a good answer. Both overstimulation and thoughtlessness are inevitable, the human brain is not perfect, and sometimes the mind will become clouded, and as a result lostness will ensue. If lostness is an inescapable, uncontrollable aspect of life, then take it in stride. Realize that freaking-out will only further your stress. Assert perspective into your thinking, life at Milton does not carry the same mortal consequences as the wilderness. Take a deep breath, keep calm, and carry on. •
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Why Solitary Confinement Needs to be Abolished
IMAGE COURTESY OF AFSC.ORG
By WILLA DuBOIS “Milton Academy Mental Health Week” might seem familiar if you pay close attention to school events or happen to be wearing a green rubber bracelet. However, this event most likely sounds out of place given the lack of publicity and participation. Milton’s mental health week was actually fairly recent, beginning on the 17th of October and ending on the 21st. However, the lack of attention dedicated to mental health is not, by any means, exclusive to Milton. In fact, one of the places in which mental health is most ignored lies on the opposite end of the spectrum: prison. In particular, super-maximum security prisons (often abbreviated to “supermax”) often disregard the mental health of their prisoners. While there are numerous flaws in these isolated concrete blocks, the commonplace practice of administrative segregation, a form of solitary confinement, is the biggest one. Administrative segregation is a cruel and inhumane treatment, and most importantly, it serves no real purpose. Administrative segregation is a permanent placement generally given to prisoners because of violent behavior, and the sentence can last for any number of years. Inmates are placed in a cell that is around eighty square feet, sixty-four square feet smaller than a horse stall. The cell has a bed, sink, and a toilet, as well as a small locked window to the outside and a slot in the door for food delivery. The lighting in the cell is fluorescent and on for twenty-four hours a day. Inmates are permitted to leave the cell (in full restraints) for three fifteen-minute showers a week, as well as an hour five days a week spent in the “recreation room,” a larger cell with a pull up bar in which they are still alone. As you can imagine, administrative
segregation has a negative impact on the mental health of inmates. Most inmates held in solitary confinement for just a month develop mental illnesses including, but not limited to, anxiety and depression as well as disorientation in time and space, depersonalization and violent outbursts. Some inmates even suffer from persistent paranoid ideas and hallucinations, often of cruel characters, and schizophrenia. Solitary confinement also leads to severe disintegration of social skills. “It’s making me antisocial,” says Tyreik Gilford, a prisoner being held for a drug sale he says he was wrongly accused of. Many inmates have problems interacting with others when leaving solitary, which can make reentry into the prison community challenging. In fact, many prisoners are released from solitary into the greater prison yard only to reenter solitary days later due to poor behavior. This lack of social skills can also make it challenging for prisoners to restart their lives when released from prison. Clearly, solitary confinement is detrimental to mental health. So one would assume that people with preexisting mental health conditions and juveniles are exempt from this cruel punishment. In actuality, there are no laws preventing mentally ill prisoners from undergoing solitary confinement, even though the Justice Department stated in 2004 that “Solitary confinement or extended segregation may cause extreme stress for a mentally ill person and can promote decompensation and exacerbate the illness.” This striking example of a lack of respect for mental health from the government is hugely disturbing—mentioning the problem without creating legislation to fix it demonstrates a hypocritical lack of
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Opinion Environmental Racism
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Protestors protest the Warren County dump
By NATASHA ROY We know that our environment is being devastated by harmful human activity and that racism remains an ever-present issue that plagues our society. Yet, these two examples of a flawed world, each a call to action, may seem entirely separate. Environmental racism combines the two ideas since it refers to the fact that minorities or having a low-income residents have a higher likelihood of living in a toxic, hazardous environment. The racial and socio-economic discrimination present in our society has taught us that marginalized communities exist to be oppressed, taken advantage of, and abused. After all, ongoing racial instability in our country indicates that being a person of color makes you a target for discrimination. Meanwhile, the 2008 financial crisis taught us that the middle and lower class can endure endless loss and suffering to little to no fault of their own. The inequality carries over to environmental controversies since someone’s being a person of color or not wealthy enhances the risk of one’s neighborhood being converted to a dumping ground for toxic, hazardous waste. In 1978, Warren County, North Carolina, then a low-income, 54.5% African American neighborhood, was targeted by state officials as a landfill site for contaminated waste, despite findings’ stating that the land was not scientifically feasible and would cause drinking water contamination. The plans for the harmful landfill continued despite a protest leading to over 500 arrests and a court case. The Warren County situation demonstrated that marginalized communities could be targeted as sites for toxic waste disposal. Most recently, the North Dakota Access Pipeline was proposed. The pipeline outraged native inhabitants who not only had spiritual ties to the land but also feared the potentially catastrophic environmental impacts of the pipeline. Protests have ensued, shaking North Dakota and the entire country, for huge numbers of protesters have been arrested for attempting to protect the
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rights of a people who are being subjected to living in a toxic environment. To make matters worse, the government and corporations support the seemingly oppressive, prejudicial, and discriminatory plans. No one deserves to have their safety stripped away because the environment in which they live has been targeted. In addition, a marginalized community can only improve its socioeconomic position if it is given equal rights, protection, and opportunity by the government. Targeting low-income, minority communities as waste sites threatens the inhabitants’ health and safety, weakening the neighborhood. A dirty, unhygienic community makes for lower priced housing and diminished opportunities for growth. The ability of already struggling communities to grow and develop is thus largely stripped away. Understanding environmental racism illustrates our society’s need to acknowledge that social justice can often be intersectional. We often think of environmental hazards and racism as completely unrelated issues, but social justice does not need to be viewed in an isolated bubble. For instance, intersectional feminism argues that the fight for gender equality must discuss gender, racism, homophobia, ableism and more in order to be truly inclusive. Similarly, the ongoing conversation about environmental injustice must discuss the associated racial, cultural and socio-economic issues to be effective and relevant. When we think of the environmental issues that plague our world, we must realize that certain groups of people are more susceptible to a toxic, often deathly environment than others. Acknowledgement and protests are not enough to put an end to this issue. The government must protect the rights of each and every individual and the communities in which they live, regardless of race and economic standing. These sobering realities tell us that being poor or a person of color means that your health, safety, and right to a functional environment does not matter as much as others. We can do better. •
Solitary Confinement CONTINUED FROM PAGE 7 motivation to change things from the very people most empowered to institute change. Juveniles also suffer from this: while there are federal laws against juvenile solitary confinement, the majority of juvenile delinquents are held at the state level, and most states do not have this restriction. One Florida teenager described his experience with solitary confinement by saying, “The one thing left to do is go crazy” (Gizmodo). It’s hard to imagine that such horrifying punishment would be legal unless it was absolutely necessary. Originally, administrative segregation did have a purpose: prison officials began using it to control rampant gang violence. It was assumed that, by splitting up gang members and preventing them from attacking others, the prison would be safer for both inmates and officials. In actuality, it has never been proven that solitary confinement improves prison safety, yet the normalization of its use is now so widespread that the use of solitary actually continues to increase. But prisoners need to be punished for misbehavior, and how else are we going to do that without solitary confinement? First, while administrative segregation is supposed to be for only inmates who have broken prison rules in a violent manner, many people charged with nonviolent crimes, such as possession of marijuana, are also put into solitary confinement. Still, even if those in solitary have broken prison rules, I would argue that a punishment that afflicts an inmate with a serious mental disease is inappropriate in any situation. Additionally, being locked up for twenty-three hours and experiencing no social interaction is almost definitely going to worsen the social skills and increase the anger of an already violent prisoner. Lastly, there are other less traumatic punishments: removal of privileges like family visits, the controversial “Nutraloaf,” a flavorless but nutrient-rich meal, and removing a prisoner’s “good time,” days removed from their sentence for good behavior. So, not only is administrative segregation cruel, but it serves no purpose. The American prison system is littered with problems, and solitary confinement is undoubtedly among the most important one. Prison is meant to punish criminals, yes, but putting people in situations that have been proven time and time again to cause mental illness is not an appropriate punishment by any means and devalues the severity of mental illness. We regard the use of violence against prisoners to compromise their physical health as unjust or inhumane; why is the deliberate deterioration of mental health treated any differently? Why isn’t solitary confinement considered “cruel and unusual punishment”? It is imperative we realize that solitary confinement needs to be abolished, not only for the sake of the health of prison inmates, but for our own consciences. •
Opinion Teach the Opiod Crisis By MOLLY WILSON Milton strives to craft a whole student, attempting to teach lessons that go beyond classroom material. At Milton, we learn about various topics regarding health through the required affective education courses (Health, Values, Social Awareness, Senior Transitions), the fitness concepts (fitcon) course, SECS assemblies and announcements, and other optional courses such as HS&R. These courses tend to focus on only some of the issues that immediately affect high school students, namely issues of sexual and mental health. However, the abuse of prescription drugs, particularly opioids, has become a major issue in the United States over recent years and Milton students need to be educated about this crisis. According to the American Society of Addiction Medicine, drug overdose is the leading cause of accidental death in the US, ranking above deaths caused by car accidents and deaths caused by unintentional falls. In 2014, an average of 129 people died each day from lethal drug overdoses in the US. Drug abuse is not a new issue, but it is a growing issue, and the opioid crisis deserves
more attention now than ever before. Many factors have contributed to the severity of the current prescription drug abuse crisis. According to drugabuse.gov, one of these factors is the “drastic increases in the number of prescriptions written and dispensed” for opioids. The rise in drug related deaths has occurred in parallel with a rise in prescriptions for opioids. The sales of prescription pain relievers in 2010 were approximately four times those in 1999, and the overdose death rate in 2008 was approximately four times the overdose death rate in 1999. The increased availability of prescription pain relievers has led to an increase in drug abuse, and therefore drug abuse related deaths, because of the effect opioids have on the brain. As stated by drugabuse.gov, “because prescription opioids are similar to, and act on the same brain systems affected by, heroin and morphine, they present an intrinsic abuse and addiction liability, particularly if they are used for non-medical purposes.” Opioids also have a tendency to cause tolerance, meaning a person stops responding to the drug as strongly as he or she did originally, and as a result the person requires a higher dose to feel the same effect.
We’re All Winners
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By SERENA FERNANDOPULLE Remember in preschool when everyone got trophies for just showing up to the soccer game, even if they weren’t the best player? Even the kid who scored an own goal got the same plastic trophy (made in China) that everyone else got. I, myself, have a small shelf modestly filled with these cheap trophies with gold peeling paint. Despite my fondness for them, trophies do not benefit kids if
everyone gets one. Not everyone deserves a trophy, and, for some children, a trophy can have adverse consequences. Giving trophies to everyone is bad for kids because it makes some of them entitled, neglects those who are deserving, and blindsides them for real life. Making everyone winners does not prepare children for their later life in high school and beyond. Giving every child a trophy fosters a sense of entitlement. It allows children to
PAGE 9 Opioids can become addictive when people who are prescribed these drugs take them for their intended purposes but do not take them exactly as prescribed, such as taking more pills than they are supposed to, taking them too frequently, or combining them with other medications. Additionally, even people who are prescribed these drugs and take them exactly as instructed can become addicted. A crucial part of addressing the prescription drug crisis is educating young people, particularly high school students and their parents, about prescription drug abuse. Many parents leave unused prescription drugs around the house and do not understand the risk of giving these drugs to a family member for whom the drugs were not prescribed. Additionally, there is a common misconception amongst teenagers and adults that it is safer to abuse prescription drugs like adderall than street drugs, such as cocaine. Throughout our teenage years, many of us will be prescribed pain relievers or will have the option to take prescription pain relievers that are not prescribed to us. It is essential that we use these drugs correctly, and having a sufficient education about the dangers of these drugs is necessary for students to make the right choices. Milton needs to adjust its affective education curriculum and other health resources in order to educate students about the opioid abuse crisis and about how to make smart choices when it comes to these drugs. • dream big, but that can be a problem when reality crushes their hopes. It creates overconfident children that then turn insecure when they realize they are not as good as they expected. For example, at my middle school, whenever we played a game it had to end in a tie. This way, no one’s feelings got hurt and we all felt like winners. However, this attitude did not help us when we actually played against other schools. People who thought they were amazing at baseball struck out. People who swore they were getting recruited for lacrosse never even got the ball. Everyone thought they were the best because adults made us feel so, always saying we were winners and amazing, but the reality was that we were nothing compared to everyone else. Our entitlement hurt us in the end when we had to go up against the real world. Many talented children go unnoticed because of the “everyone wins” policy. Gifted kids get pushed in with the average kids and don’t get recognized. Yes, they receive praise, but so does everyone else. This environment does not encourage success or talent. Kids who are really good at something often do not know they are good because they are treated like everyone else, and hence can not grow on their strength until later on in life. When talented students get recognized along with many of their peers, the trophies
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We're All Winners CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9 hold much less weight. Olayeni Oladipo (III) believes that “trophies symbolize an extraordinary job or achievement. If every kid got a trophy, then what’s the point? A trophy holds no significance that way. The ‘less’ trophies, the more valuable they become, the more kids can strive to ‘be better’ in whatever situation.” Like Olayeni stated, trophies should be meant for extraordinary moments or actions, not everyday ones. We throw away the meaning of trophies or winning that way. The biggest problem with everyone getting trophies is that it doesn’t prepare kids for real life. It may feel good in the moment, but it sets unrealistic expectations. In the real world, not everyone is a winner. In fact, very few win, and there are a whole lot of losers. Expecting to win every time is unreasonable and unhealthy. Disappointment is a strong emotion, and too much of it can really hurt a child or teen. Milton, for example, has winners and losers. On sports teams, in the classroom, and in the social scene there is always competition. If everyone wins, you never learn how to compete for things that are important to you. Thus, it is hard for kids to succeed in an intense environment like high school. Not everyone can get on a varsity sports team or an accapella group. People become successful when they know how to deal with failure, so kids who have been coddled their whole life will fall apart. Life is full of disappointments, so we have to know how to recover gracefully from them. All parents want the best for their kid. However, the idea of sheltering children and proclaiming that everyone's a winner is quite flawed. Children should be praised, but not to a point where everyone’s accomplishments blend together. Gifted children need to be recognised and singled out as different, children need to learn humility through losing at a young age, and being exposed to competition will help kids in their later life. One t-ball game loss may help a kid bounce back from an F in Spanish, or one recognition of a kid’s talent may push him to pursue it and find the cure to cancer. Today’s society has it backwards, and this mistake is hurting a whole generation of teenagers. We deserve the real world. •
Pro Tip: You don't have to pay your parking tickets
Opinion
The Influence of Looming College Applications
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By CELENA ECCLESTON A couple weeks ago, my English class, ‘Lit. and the Human Condition,’ engaged in a provocative discussion, mainly centered around one question: “Do we take the courses that we take simply because we enjoy them, or because they’re required and look good for college applications?” My teacher, Ms. Goldenberg, posed this question after assigning us an article titled “Fortress of Tedium: What I Learned as a Substitute Teacher,” written by Nicholson Baker. This article (which I highly recommend) relays the high school experience through Baker’s eyes. He recalls that, while his high school was highly unconventional, he was fairly content there since the principal believed in letting kids decide what they do. Basically, the only requirement was showing up to school. Now, working as a substitute teacher, Baker believes that children don’t truly enjoy school because of what they’re forced to endure. This is where our discussion came into play. At first, the small class of only about twelve students automatically started complaining about how tired we were, but then quickly sobered up as a realization finally sunk in: we actually do pick courses based off of what we think will look good for college, not what we might enjoy. Kailee Silver [II] pointed out, “I chose to take Latin AP because it looks good on my college application”, despite noting that it definitely was not on her list of favorite courses. Once Silver said this, the conversation definitely took a more interesting turn. We, as a class, decided that
college had a stark influence on our curricular decisions. I even came to the shocking realization that, although I was only a junior, I already decided to let college influence my course decisions. Instead of perhaps taking studio art alongside drama, I chose to take chemistry last year. Now, don’t get me wrong; I love science--just not chemistry. I love physics, biology, and environmental science--just not chemistry. So why did I choose to sign up for chemistry? Because I knew that it would make me sound more appealing to my favorite colleges. Even signing up for courses for junior year, I realized that most of my course selection was dictated by which courses were required: US History and Spanish 3. I chose to take Lit. and the Human Condition because I love philosophy; I chose to take honors Pre-calculus because I love numbers; I chose biology not only because it is required, but also because I love biology. But what that conversation made me, and the rest of my English class, realize is this: if we spend the rest of our academic career doing things we dread simply because it “looks good to colleges”, we will go to college and only endure doing things because it “looks good on job resumes”. Then we will go through life doing things because “it will please the boss” or “it makes me look great”. So if I have any word of advice, it would be to do this: yes, fulfill your requirements so that you get a diploma, but also take that course you love, do what makes you happy, and find out what you enjoy. After all, we only have one life to live; why dread it? •
Arts & Enterainment
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Art is not a Labor By HANNAH HACHAMOVITCH
SCENT OF MADNESS, CY TWOMBLY
AMENDED, BARBARA BAUM
Moving to Canada CONTINUED FROM PAGE 5 Several big-name celebrities publicly promised to flee the country if Trump were to be elected. American conservative magazine Townhall reports that Jon Stewart vowed to flee to “another planet,” Lena Dunham to Vancouver, Keegan-Michael Key to Canada, Natasha Lyonne to a “mental hospital,” Samuel L. Jackson to South Africa, Cher to Jupiter, Amy
The controversy sparked by modern art is better defined as a confusion. Rather than inspiring a polarized reaction in interpreting a certain element of the body of work, modern art, like Barbara Baum’s show in the Nesto Gallery, which is leaving this week, has inspired its viewers to question the validity of calling this type of work ‘art’ at all. This confusion highlights what the viewers are questioning more generally: modern art. Or really, what qualifies as art? While some interpret modern art as brilliant, others claim that they themselves could create these pieces, or even that a kindergartener could do the same. These questions, however, touch on the popular misunderstanding that art comes from some magical, God-given talent that few possess. Many have the misconception that, somehow, the artist magically creates art. Moreover, people tend to think that art is what you, a non-artist, could not even dream of doing and that art is a painful labor. ‘Quick-andeasy’ seems to not count as art nearly as much as painstaking labor and hyper-realism do. These views on art’s identity mistake replication as art instead of expression. Humans are built to replicate and mimic. Men and women, for generations, have learned by replicating. So, learning to replicate is no feat or God-given talent. The kernel difference between the reality of art and this view is the creativity, rather than replication, associated with art. While the umbrella term of ‘art’ should embrace both the realistic and the creative, the aforementioned ideas of what art is were backwards: art goes beyond the step of pure replication and into the realm of creativity and expression. Obviously, Barbara Baum’s work, along with much of other modern art,
Schumer to Spain, and many others, including Miley Cyrus and Amber Rose, just to anywhere but here. Bring a pen and paper to the airport and to the border because you’ll probably be rubbing elbows with some pretty high profile people. In fact, you’ll be rubbing elbows with plenty of expatriates – if every American who ever threatened to move to Canada “if Trump won” did so, Canada might consider building a wall too. Now, in all seriousness, the purpose of the above farce is to emphasize that, while
is not recognizably representational, or it wouldn’t have brought to question whether or not it can be called art. However, modern art, when successful, is representational of ideas and feelings. While it doesn’t show a literal person or even represent an actual physical object, the marks on the canvas, paper, or surface do represent the intention, movement, and idea of the artist creating them. For example, Cy Twombly, an artist renowned for his breakthroughs in modern art, does not come close to capturing the features of a human being, a scene, or any type of object in his piece Scent of Madness, a watercolor painting over a print by Betty Di Robilant. Yet he does capture an intense, overwhelming emotion. He uses few marks on the paper and even fewer colors, but he harnesses the energy of bright red, deep purple, and dash of blue to form movement. A foggy shape of a human head seems to struggle out of the mass of splattered paint, but never fully comes into focus. Twombly has captured and referenced something recognizable and provocative without being representative in the typical or even trite way that we all can recognize. In comparison to Cy Twombly’s work, Barbara Baum’s work may not successfully inspire the same response or achieve the same parallel of representation as Cy Twombly, and, in that way, may not be a successful body of artwork, if art at all. However, her work, along with other modern artworks, does inspire an intense reaction that forces the viewer to pause and reconsider what art really is. Art is not a labor, but a tool for creative communication. Baum’s work may not successfully communicate what she intended, but it does make the viewer think. Who knows? Maybe making her audience question was her intent. •
giving up and running away may seem like a good solution for many Americans right now, we have a duty to stay. Fighting for peace seems like an oxymoron, yes, and reunifying the two very polar extremes of the nation will surely be a battle, but love is the remedy our country needs. Being an expat is being a quitter, and the millions of bystanders who chose not to be active are more at fault for the result than either party itself. When the going gets tough, get going: this is your time to be a citizen. •
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Arts & Enterainment Tartuffe
Food Rankings CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1
#4 Turkey
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By LYDIA HILL Milton students often hesitate to sit through plays that they feel are outdated or, heavens forbid, run the risk of being boring. Sure, Shakespeare made up half the English language and Sophocles was a dramatic genius, but anything written before 1965 is more likely to get lost on an audience of today’s teenagers. Last week’s production of Molière’s Tartuffe, however, was an exception to this rule. Tartuffe, written by Molière in 1664, follows the household of Orgon as the man falls prey to the schemes of Tartuffe, a con artist disguised as a “pious” man. Set entirely inside Orgon’s house, the play features a precocious maid named Dorine, played by the energetic Lyndsey Mugford (III), a starcrossed love story, and the scamming of a scammer. The play took place entirely inside Orgon’s elegant 17th century French home, in a set that transformed much of the first floor of King theater into a gilded, aristocratic great hall.
The play started on a high note, and by high note I do mean Peter Duke (I) entering stage in full gown, heavy makeup, and powder wig, cracking his voice at every other syllable. Short stage time aside, Peter’s portrayal of Madame Pernelle, mother of Orgon, was one of the physically funniest moments I’ve seen in a Milton production. Orgon himself soon took the stage, revealing himself to be an enraged Dylan Volman (II) with a moustache and tights. Orgon’s physical comedy, especially that in his worship of Tartuffe, brought from the audience a steady stream of laughter. If Tartuffe is a true comedy, Orgon is the neurotic buffoon. However, Tartuffe himself, played by Spencer Evett (I), was the real villain, as well as one of the play’s major highlights. Tartuffe saunters onstage with a large cross necklace, a smug, satisfied grin, and some light self-flagellation. Despite his religious facade, Tartuffe’s
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Shocking! The icon of Thanksgiving isn’t number 1? Well, America proved even the most popular foods can lose. Turkey is dry, not too soft, and hard to cut. I would rather choose to talk about ham, the better candidate the sweeter option, but most people choose turkey over ham for Thanksgiving. Christmas is a better time. So, don’t slap on cranberry sauce, but, to improve the turkey, throw on some really great gravy that can also be used for mashed potatoes! Honestly, the pre-packaged McCormick Country gravy is great, and the effort isn’t worth it for turkey.
#3 Mashed Potatoes Mashed potatoes the most exciting side of the night. Potatoes were first domesticated ten thousand years ago in South America. Wow. Mashed potatoes can be prime if you use red potatoes or brown potatoes; choose your pick, but both are okay. Throw in some garlic, oregano, and Romano cheese to give it an extra kick. Don’t forget the gravy.
#2 Pumpkin/Apple Pie Pies are like the sweet grandma who, when you tell her you’re home alone without food, turns into a racecar driver and crashes through your front door with her fridge in her trunk. Pies just want you to be happy. We tend to argue if pumpkin pie or apple pie is better, but we can have both because why not. Thanksgiving is about honoring indigenous people and giving thanks eating superfluous amounts of food, so cave into the American way and eat both. Obviously, you need whipped cream and ice cream. Just go all out.
#1 Stuffing Stuffing is arguably the best meal of the night. It’s not even a side, it’s a meal. If your family doesn’t make two pounds of stuffing, please remind them that we’re in an existential crisis stuffing is called stuffing for a reason—to stuff you like a turkey. Baste yourself. Any stuffing is great, hopefully, but apparently we can improve everything, so let’s go for it! Besides the cubed bread parts, stuffing can be very intense with: ground turkey sausage, celery, dried sage, rosemary, thyme, apple, cranberries or not, fresh parsley, and turkey stock. If you don’t want to cook it in a turkey, or don’t have a turkey, that’s when the turkey stock comes in hand. •
Arts & Enterainment
Twitter Roars with Lion King Remake Responses By ZOE CAMAYA Nearly twenty-two years ago, Walt Disney Studios released The Lion King. Website BGR claims that “The Lion King really is one of Disney’s biggest hits ever,” and given the “close to one billion at the box office,” Lion King merchandise, video game, everlasting songs, broadway musical, and the number of times I’ve seen a baby or animal lifted in the air Rafiki-style, I’m not surprised. The Lion King was an iconic part of many childhoods, and has held its own for all twenty two years since it has been released. It is not surprising that there have been both excited and skeptical reactions to Disney’s latest announcement that a 2016 Jungle Book-esque remake of The Lion King, directed by Jon Favreau— who is also behind The Iron Man series and The Avengers movies, as well as for the new Jungle Book—is in the works. The new live-action remake will not only be following The Jungle Book in its animation-to-live-action journey, but Alice in Wonderland, and other live-action films, Maleficent, and Cinderella, and Beauty and the Beast which will be hitting theatres soon. Disney has had great success with these live-action remakes, with The Jungle Book and Alice in Wonderland both hovering around one billion dollars in gross income worldwide, according to IMDB. Disney also claims that this March’s Beauty
and the Beast “is already one of the most anticipated movies of 2017.” Disney states that thus far there is no official release date for the Lion King project, so it could be a while before we see graphics similar to the ones used in The Life of Pi bring young Simba’s fun-loving and loyal nature to the world. Disney has also confirmed that we will be hearing the familiar melodies of the original soundtrack, so we can expect new renditions of some of our favorites, such as “Hakuna Matata” and “The Circle of Life”. Though this may sound exciting, fans have expressed doubt on the project’s success. Some fans, such as Twitter user @ beau_stancil, assert that “[he] can not put into words how excited [he] is for the Lion King remake.” Others, such as Twitter user @devinsimoneee, have stated that “no one asked for [a remake].” User @caboose_ xbl writes, “Whatever is going on with the Lion King remake, so long as Jon Favreau is directing, I'm in.” Several other fans have insistently requested that James Earl Jones reprise his role as Mufasa. It will take time to find out any more details pertaining to the movie, but it’s assured that with these new revelations will come both fervor and criticism in response to the development of the childhood classic. •
Cartoon Corner
@iambranden By LILLY LE
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Tartuffe CONTINUED FROM PAGE 12 close friendship with Orgon appears to be a ploy in his pursuit of Orgon’s wife, Elmire, played by Allie Reed (I). Says Peter Duke, “Allie and Spence were great,” and I could not agree more. Tartuffe’s unwanted advancements, followed by Elmire’s later seduction in order to expose Tartuffe’s sins to Orgon, created a comedic tension that felt funny enough to warrant naming the play after the conman himself. Peter Parisi, director of Tartuffe and chair of the performing arts department, received high praise from cast members. Peter Duke says of his opening scene as Madame Pernelle, the one that so well set the tone for the rest of the performance, “The only reason I got laughs besides being a woman was because Mr. Parisi directed my opening scene so well.” It is hard to imagine Peter’s character not being funny, but he says that even small moments, such as an extended pause on the word “well”, were Parisi’s creative interpretations of the centuries-old script. Were it not for him, the play may well have felt outdated to the Milton crowd. Instead, the show sold out for Friday night, bringing the full house to near constant laughter. Milton’s production of Tartuffe, overall, was very funny. It is no small feat to be able to make 350-year-old, translated comedy land on a group of American high schoolers (although teachers are generally inclined to laugh), and yet the cast and crew’s hard work generally paid off. I laughed, I cringed, I was made wildly uncomfortable, and, arguably most importantly, I got to see Dylan Volman in heels—all around, a wonderful production. •
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Love letter to the Wolfpack
Sports
Premier League Weekly Round Up: November 5-6
By GABRIELLE FER I think I’m not alone among the Wolfpack seniors in saying this week has been tough. After four seasons on the Girls Varsity soccer team, I can’t accept that I will never again put on that blue uniform, never again lace up my cleats in the ACC lobby, and never again whisper our motto in the pregame huddle. “The strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” The Wolfpack motto and nickname is taken from the Jungle Book by Rudyard Kipling, from a section called “The Law of the Jungle”. We recite these lines just before we step on the field for every game and write WOLFPACK on our arms before big games to remind us of who we are and what we stand for. There’s a beauty in acknowledging the power an individual has in a group while also celebrating how much a community can do for an individual. For me, this quote has always linked this team to a sense of family and community, for despite being individuals, we play for more than ourselves. Our team motto supersedes the simple words; they drive our every action and interaction. We put the team before everything, even saying we would die for our pack. On the field, I know this is true when my teammate heroically sprints faster than I’ve ever seen to cover the girl I forgot to mark, but I also see it off the field in the playful psych signs plastered around the school and in the laughing smile we can’t suppress when we see another wolfie. We live in a community where so much of our achievement is individually focused. Grades, essays, leadership positions - these all single you out to be accountable for your own actions and success. Being on the Wolfpack had been an escape from this self-centered attitude, for we live the mentality that our individual success both depends on and contributes to the team’s success. You know that everyone else on the field not only has your back, but also truly wants you to succeed. This true group mentality has been an incredible gift and lesson in how much I am capable of caring for and sacrificing for others. So to the Wolfpack, thank you for the bus rides screaming “Kanye” and the incredible upset over Nobles. Thank you for teaching me what a team should be and how to put the pack before myself. I am forever grateful for all the sisters I have gained these last four years. Although I may not step on the soccer field in the Milton uniform again, I know I will forever be part of the Wolfpack. •
COURTESY OF PASTE MAGAZINE
By THEO MIAILHE As of right now the Premier League table is very different from what it was when I last about it. Chelsea and Liverpool lead, a very different outcome to what I had predicted a couple weeks ago. Also, as some of you have may have noted, the matches I’ll be reviewing are one week late because right now we are on the international break, everyone’s least favorite time of the year. Two weeks ago’s matches began with City vs. Middlesbrough. Pep’s side went into the match confident after beating Barcelona in the Champions League just days before but ended up drawing 1 all against the newly promoted side. The goals--both from crosses-were scored by Kun Aguero and Marten de Roon. West Ham still disappointing after 1-1 draw with Stoke at home. It was nice to Payet get an assist from Antonio heading in his cross but West Ham and Spurs in the Champions League continue to show us how difficult it can be to win games at new stadium. Bojan also scored for the Potters. Who cares? Burnley beat Palace 3-2 at home. There was obviously no dancing this time from Sir Alan. Even though Palace lost, it was a still an exciting match with the result undecided until the very end. Benteke who is now at Palace, scored. Sunderland beat Bournemouth 1-2 away. Not a very interesting match. I’m not quite sure what else to say. Chelsea who are now second in the league smacked an Everton side that was looking decent 5-0. Conte’s new Chelsea is looking reinvigorated after their emasculating performance which saw the likes of Costa, Hazard and Pedro all bang in goals, players who were invisible throughout nearly all of last year. Especially Hazard who has already scored more goals this season so far than he did all of last season. It was sad to Everton go down in such a manner after what was looking to be a good start for the toffees but nevertheless credit to the men in blue. Now finally for the most anticipated match of the weekend and actually the season so far: the North London Derby at the Emirates,
Arsenal vs. Spurs. I am not gonna lie, after our pitiful performance against Leverkusen in the Champions league two nights before I was not optimistic. I thought Spurs were gonna get smacked as Harry Kane was thought to be injured, Alderweireld was injured and Arsenal looked so good the week before. But the nice thing about getting up at 7 am on Sunday for a team like Tottenham is that anything can happen. Not only did Spurs look solid but I think we deserved to win it and I’m not merely being biased. Hull City played Southampton at home, which resulted in a 2-1 victory for the Tigers. I think all the newly promoted sides either won or drew this weekend and not against shabby teams so well done to them. This victory was especially important to Hull as they had lost something like six games in the premier league before it. What a match Liverpool had two weeks ago, smacking Watford 6-1 at Anfield. That trio of Coutinho, Firmino and Mané is doing so well, and they each assisted one another during the match. Klopp’s side have been putting in strong performances throughout the year, and this victory against Watford showed the Liverpool supporters that their team can not only big matches but also small ones. Mourinho finally won a match with United, beating Swansea 1-3. The goals were quite nice, and Pogba scored the closing thing to one of his old pogbooms since leaving Juve. Even though the score might point otherwise the victory was still not very convincing. Sad to see Leicester lose to the Baggies 1-2 at home. I was really hoping they would do well this year but the start hasn’t been for them. They are still in the Champions league which is more than what Tottenham can say, and I hope they can turn their poor league form around. All of this leaves the table with Liverpool in first, followed by Chelsea, City, Arsenal and Spurs. Those last three all drew matches while the top two convincingly won, meaning that their respective gaps are virtually nonexistent. At the bottom rest Sunderland, Swansea and Hull, and even though I think it is way too early to call it, save Swansea, I think Sunderland and Hull will be relegated. •
Sports
Mustangs of the Week: Amira Brown and Jay Sidhu
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Hack Routs JV Soccer By ELI BURNES
Jay Sidhu with his teammates By SOPHIA LI
By LIAM KENNEDY
As the fall season draws to a close, only a few chances are left for girls and boys to be the Mustang of the Week for their current sport. The week before Nobles Day, Amira Brown, a sophomore volleyball player, was honored as Mustang of the Week. Playing volleyball for three years, Amira stands tall and proud as the middle-front for the JV volleyball team. The team, to Amira, is like a “family” and she is sad for the season to end. However, for Amira, the next season is something to look forward to. The JV volleyball team has a stellar record this year, with only 4 losses out of 12 games. The intensity of the team definitely amped up this year, according to Amira. The team starts every practice by running around the entire campus, the entire campus. That’s equivalent to burning mad calories. With that much running they all might as well be professional distance track runners. But Amira and her team know that the coaches always have the team’s best intentions in mind, even if that means warming up like cross country runners. Amira feels that the intense practices definitely benefit the team physically and mentally. Having to run the cringe-worthy distance and to endure extreme drills together, Amira and her team became one cohesive unit. Being a unified team allows for, according to Amira, a carefree and fun team dynamic. The team’s members are all good friends that occasionally crack jokes and roast each other at practices. Even though they joke around, the team is also very serious and supportive of one another. Everybody on the team knows that each player joins with a different skill set and offers constructive criticism to one another because each player knows that being judgmental does not make for a successful team. As a result of the fun and serious dynamic, Amira feels that this volleyball team is definitely the closest team she has ever been on. Being a supportive team at practices doesn’t really mean anything unless it shows on the court, right? But that’s not a problem for Amira and her team because the team dynamic shows. As many of you may know or will soon find out, the volleyball team won a recent game against Nobles. Yes, it is strange that they already played a game against Milton’s rival before Nobles Day, but that’s beside the point. Let’s focus on the fact that one of our teams crushed Nobles already and during that game Amira felt like her team drew closer in order to defeat a sworn enemy. Hopefully, Amira and her team can do it again and beat Nobles this week without breaking a sweat. •
“Why the [expletive] are we still out here” is how a fan responded when asked how he felt about the Hack Soccer game this past Friday. The athletes gathered on the Wolcott Quad before being picked to engage in what will be remembered as one of the greatest hack soccer games ever. Jay Sidhu (Class I), who went undrafted in this day of Hack, had a game winning goal. However, this wasn’t just any goal; Some would say it was the hack soccer goal of the season. It was a crisp Friday afternoon and the penny vs non penny game had already begun. Jay “Squidu” Sidhu, who was not present for the draft hopped in the game as a non-penny and went to work. It was the last hack game of the season and for some players, including Sidhu, it was the last game of their career. Each team scored a goal early and from there the tie held. Hack Soccer games usually end at 4:00; however, this tie lasted for four overtimes. By the time the final goal was scored the only thing lighting the field was the light of the moon. There were plenty of chances for each team to score; however, it was around 5:45 when Jay Sidhu scored to put the non-pennies on top. When I asked Jay to take me through the goal he put it ever so eloquently stating, “Someone passed me the ball right in front of the net and I was like ‘weellllll’ I might as well bury this geno for my brothers and win the game. So then I buried the geno and started running off the field peeling the shirt of my back, dog piling with my brothers. It was the best moment of my life.” Charlie Gagnon (Class I) put it simply, declaring, “We just wanted it more than them”. The final was 2-1. It was 2 hours 45 minutes of blood, sweat and tears. Jay was crying on the sideline exclaiming he has never been happier. His roommate, Ben Handy (Class I), acknowledged that this was most likely the “peak of Jay’s high school career”. Jay’s influence will be felt on the Wolcott quad for many years to come. •
On January 14, 1741, a boy was born in the pastoral fields of Connecticut. The boy worked his way up in the world, and by 1775, he was a successful merchant. The boy, now a man, seized the opportunity of the American Revolution and joined the Continental army. After leading the Americans to victory in Fort Ticonderoga, delaying the British advance at Lake Champlain, and defeating the Redcoats at the Battles of Saratoga, Benedict Arnold became a traitor and joined the British army. Benedict was a coward, an American hero who betrayed his nation. One would expect that this sort of lowly, spineless behavior would not be present at Milton Academy. But it is. In the annual hack soccer-JV boys matchup, Chris Matthews(I) betrayed his fellow teammates and defected to the JV team. 18 minutes into the game, Chris scored with an exceptional header that bounced to the bottom right corner of the net Despite Chris’s betrayal, Hack soccer still thoroughly trounced JV soccer. Just a few minutes into the game, strikers Brett O'Connell (I) and Eli Burnes (I) sprinted up the field. Peter Barron (I) delivered an excellent through ball to Brett, and Brett kicked the ball into the air. Time stopped for a moment. Everything was in slow motion. The JV goalie reached for the ball, but he missed. The ball bounced upon the ground, in front of an unguarded net. Brett had his chance to go down in hack soccer history, but Eli was determined to score. He came in sliding across the dirt, and smashed the ball into the net with his heel. Hack soccer stormed the field. Scoring a goal, let alone it being the first goal, was a momentous achievement. 5 minutes later, Hack soccer scored again in the exact same way. Jay Sidhu (I) rocketed the ball into an unguarded net. Hack was winning 2-0! At this point, the Men’s Junior Varsity team became scared. The one-party autocratic political system that ruled JV, i.e. the captains, decided to let loose the hounds. JV sent multitudes of players onto the field, and JV outnumbered hack 15+ to 11. It was at this point, that Chris scored his fateful goal. The score was now 2-1. Hack was still winning. The political structure system disintegrated, and members of both sides stormed the field. A player on JV suddenly took out a shank. He barely missed four players on the team. The hack players avoided a crisis but they were not in the clear. •
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Ad Nauseam Following the election, WikiLeaks was forced to shift their focus to a new target group: Milton Academy. Here are their initial findings from the Milton Gmail server. From: Todd Bland; To: David Ball Subject: Disney Channel Original Movie Marathon Sleepover From: Jackie Bonenfant; To: Hannah Pulit Subject: Students keep asking me to “juju on my feet” — do you know what this means?? From: Zack Herman; To: All US Students Subject: My Gay Agenda From: Marshall Sloane; To: David Ball Subject: Notes on Your Last Speech From: Andre Heard; To: Jose Ruiz Subject: Rigging the myMilton Election From: Todd Bland; To: All US Students Subject: You is kind, you is smart, you is important. From: Andre Heard; To: Jackie Bonenfant, David Ball, Todd Bland, Jose Ruiz Subject: Squad Gear T-Shirt, “Lean, Mean, D.C. Machines,” From: Art Department; To: Pot(tery) Club Subject: Organizing Student Bake Sale From: Marshall Sloane; To: All US Students Subject: Liberal Propaganda
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