Dubbo Weekender 10.07.2015

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Friday 10.07.2015 to Sunday 12.07.2015 | Dubbo Weekender

“Basil Fawlty” As famed Torquay hotel Fawlty Towers prepares to open its doors for the coming “tourist” season, Weekender managed to separate them long enough for an exclusive interview with curmudgeonly host Basil Fawlty and his hapless and long suffering Spanish sidekick, Manuel. “Basil”: HEN my wife Sybil and I first plunged ourselves into the dark, murky depths of hospitality, we had very little idea but every ambition for Fawlty Towers. Before I realised she was the spawn of Beelzebub, she was a barmaid in a small South London Tavern and I, at a loose end in my prime, tied a noose around our young necks, married and purchased an aging manor house with water views in Torquay. In those days we had little more than a dream and two bob in our pockets. It’s amazing what a couple of coats of paint, some good old fashioned elbow grease and the incessant, piercing hiss of Sybil’s voice can achieve. We (or at least, I) always wanted a high class establishment, suitable for “the landed gentry”, catering for people of exceptional social standing. Somewhere that could lead us into the heady, modern world of the 1980s, while maintaining the qualities of yesteryear. But we soon realised it was too much for just the pair of us. We fished Polly Shearman from art school where she was clearly wasting her life

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` I have found I generally have the greatest success in acquiring his assistance with the rudimentary “point and slap” technique.

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away on a folly, and managed to offer her something of a direction for her future... as a maid. But an establishment of true class requires a bellhop-cum-waiter, and that’s when we landed our trained chimp, Manuel. I say “trained chimp” of course, but that probably denigrates the good, honest, hard work of circus professionals the world over. Surprisingly, after sifting through the list of prospective hopefuls, we found Manuel to be the standout. Fresh off the boat from Spain with but a thimbleful of English, he was eager to learn and well, quite frankly, he completely eclipsed the other applicant who, despite carrying excellent military references from the Boer War, it was felt that his wooden leg and his 98-year-old frame may have inhibited his capacity for managing two flights of stairs with luggage. Manuel had a go-getter attitude, some culinary skill and was of course, very cheap; willing to work for something approaching the minimum wage. I first perceived Manuel to be something of a “continental challenge”. With my semester of solid study in Classical Spanish, I thought we may easily breach the cultural divide between his native tongue and the Queen’s English. I soon found him to be more of a Barcelonan mule – able to carry weight when forced to, but essentially very, very slow on the uptake. We now recognise him for the muttering, twit that he is; capable of basic human function and little more. I have found I generally have the greatest success in acquiring his assistance with the rudimentary “point and slap” technique. But then, what do you expect for £12.50 per week, board and meals? And so I labour on, day-by-day, vainly attempting to single-handedly raise the local standards while managing a 12 bedroom guest house, despite inferiority from “the help”; despite substandard clientele and despite a wife who spits venom and dabbles in the black arts between hair-and-nail appointments and her telephone counselling service. You should come along sometime and watch how I manage to hold everything together. You may just learn something valuable.

“Manuel”

“Manuel”:

HEN I leave my country I need a job. Mr Fawlty – he help me by hiring me to be his right hand man. I am not good for many work because my language is for not good. Is not easy for me sometimes to understand Mr Fawlty, but he help me by yelling louder. He try to I think sometimes many guests stay at the hotel who don’t speak much very good English because Mr Fawlty, he yell at them too. When I come here I leave my five brother and four sister in Barcelona where I from. Sometimes is lonely for me but I have Siberian hamster for friend. Mr Fawlty, he say “Is rat!” but I don’t care because I love him. His name is Basil (not Mr Fawlty – my hamster – is not rat, is hamster). I keep him in room in hotel which Mr and Mrs Fawlty let me live in as home. To work at Fawlty Towers is for me to be helping with the guests to carry bag to room and to make help in restaurant with bring dish to customers. It is being hard for me because everyone talk so fast and I get confused. Sometimes Mr Fawlty, he help me to learn by hitting me when I make mistake. I think I am not so easy to learn many lessons because he still need to hit me many time. I think Mr Fawlty, he is glad for me to be here because he always ask me to help him. So day to day I am doing whatever Mr Fawlty need doing even if is different to carry bag and help in restaurant. Even he ask me to clean dead pigeon from water tank. I have nice friend in Polly who work with me. She is always kind and know a little Spanish. Mr Fawlty, he think he know Spanish too but I not recognise words he say even if he yell them and

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` Is not easy for me sometimes to understand Mr Fawlty, but he help me by yelling louder.

hit me. Mrs Fawlty always have big hair and I be scared of her because Mr Fawtly is scared of her. Mr Fawlty is in charge of me and Polly and Mrs Fawlty is in charge of Mr Fawlty. I am lucky to have good job and Mr Fawlty, he look after me even if he hurt me sometimes. People should come see how kind he is and what good job I do.

Fawlty Towers on stage at DRTCC in July SEE Basil and Manuel’s “alter egos” – the incomparable James Eddy and Allyn Smith – and the cast of Dubbo Theatre Company, as they present Fawlty Towers on stage at Dubbo Regional Theatre and Convention Centre from Friday, July 17. Last year’s triumphant production of three vignettes from the phenomenally popular British comedy series left local audiences howling for more. Never ones to disappoint, the cast returns to the stage this month with three more of the iconic “episodes” from arguably the funniest television series of all time. If you caught the show last time around, you’ll probably already have your tickets but don’t take Weekender’s word for it – here’s what just two fans said about last year’s performance: ''I thought it was the real John Cleese on stage!" – Maureen McKay ''The audience was in stitches regularly and that is not just because of the quality of the material but because of the quality of the delivery.'' – Renee Redford If you miss this show, well, to quote Basil himself, you’re going to need a damn good thrashing. Dubbo Theatre Company’s Fawlty Towers opens on Friday, July 17 at 8pm. l Saturday, July 18 – two shows, at 2pm and 8pm; l Friday, July 24 – 8pm l Saturday, July 25 – two shows, at 2pm and 8pm. l Tickets available online or at the box office. – As told to Jen Cowley. Photos by Charmaine Wray.


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