LEFT: Barry’s father on the golf course. BELOW: Barry as a young boy, and with his father.
very good, and the pro ended up giving me lessons for free every Thursday just because he could see how dedicated I was to it.” Unfortunately, Barry lost his dad at a young age when he suffered a heart attack on the golf course the day after he bought his son a beer for the first time. The sudden and tragic loss of his father, the regret of lost moments, and the burden of life ahead without his “number one fan” would prove difficult to navigate for the 17-year-old. In an attempt to shield his hurt from the outside world and to douse his pain, Barry turned to alcohol and anything else that would help him forget. He even abandoned golf for awhile. At 20 years old, looking for a fresh start following the death of his father and wanting to travel the world, Barry began traveling in Europe and then the United States, making his way to New York City where he had some connections. It wasn’t long before the young man with some cash in “the city that doesn’t sleep” found ways to spend his money and entertain himself that almost always involved alcohol and drugs. His demons had followed him in his carryon baggage. When he drank,
Barry traded golf for partying to cope with the death of his father.
66
{ AUGUST 2019 |
he forgot. When he drank, he became the life of the party. His crazy antics made him popular and all the lads wanted to hang out with him. Lonely nights were replaced with all-nighters of forgetfulness. “Alcohol was my best friend,” Barry admitted. Finally, a ray of light appeared in the form of his uncle. His dad’s brother showed up on his doorstep, and by the next morning had bought him a set of golf clubs and arranged a tee time. Time for Barry to get back to what he knew and loved. “When it comes to passion for something, you can’t hide it away, even from yourself,” Barry said. His uncle helped him realize that instead of associating golf with the pain of losing his father, he could use the sport, and by extension, those memories, to remember and honor him. He returned to Ireland briefly but soon fell in with the same people and the same habits. So Barry returned to the U.S., this time to the environs of Washington D.C., and this time with his clubs. He worked in a number of Irish bars, finally arriving at what seemed like the edge of civilization, Warrenton. He began working at a local bar, McMahon’s Irish Pub, for new proprietor and
WARRENTON LIFESTYLE
}
friend Francis Fusco. It was during this time that he began wondering how he could turn his love of the game of golf into a profession, perhaps as an instructor. However, he would have to clear a bigger hurdle first. Living in a room above the bar and a world away from most of the people he knew, it wasn’t long before the solitude took its toll. He was still able to maintain a mask of normalcy, but those close to him could see the cracks in it. Barry needed help. Ultimately, Francis took the first step in intervention and with a firm fatherly hand gave him an ultimatum: “I’m your friend, but I can’t help you anymore. I’ll take you to rehab, or here’s a ticket to go see your mom. I have her here on the phone.” Barry chose the latter, and the next morning he was met in Ireland by his mother. Her stern demeanor said it all. She told Barry in no uncertain terms that they were going home, that he was to get a good night’s sleep, and that in the morning he was going to see Michael O’Doherty, a local therapist and bioenergist. Barry related, “My mom said, ‘You’re coming home to quit drinking and this guy is going to help you get in the right mindset to take care of this.’ With Michael, it was just like, ‘hey, get off your ass, change your diet, walk your dog, and stop isolating yourself like a depressed freak.’ He just kicked me in the ass and told me it was time to get my life together. But he did it in a therapeutic, enjoyable way. I went to my first ever AA meeting the next day.” After Michael, Barry worked with another County Clare local bioenergist and therapist, Jeff McInerney. The belief of the bioenergists is that a healthy being comes from understanding our unconscious mind. Since our reality is created by our thoughts, in order to be at our healthiest we must have our healthiest thoughts. In other words, Barry would exorcise his own demons by driving out the negative thoughts, guilt, and other burdens he had buried deep and was drowning with alcohol. Then, after recognizing the bad, it would be time to focus on the good. After four days of talking with Jeff, Barry came to realize the “sky was blue,” which was something he had forgotten. There was still a lot of good in the world. It was then he found the will to get better. Jeff helped him to help himself. Treatment for addiction requires more than a positive outlook on life, but having a focus on the future, goals, and a purpose is a big step in the right direction. It was time to look up instead of down and focus on what was ahead instead of what he needed to leave behind.