PLANT THIS NOW...AND DIG IT LATER JAN/FEB 2010 ISSUE 001
THE INTRODUCTION ISSUE TRIBUTE TO MICHAEL JACKSON AND MICHAEL JORDAN SHE RIDES! PERFECTLY NATURAL MORTAL THOUGHT
THE CURE FOR ANGER MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT
PRIVATE LIGHT SHOW
Copyright 2010
JANUARY 2010
From the editor Paideia Magazine is a magazine founded on a dream. Designed to educate men of all colors and backgrounds. Paideia Magazine meshes together not only the urban society with local and national updates on music, the latest in fashion, news, and events but also brings in influences of international happenings. Paideia is targeted towards 30 to 50 year old males who would like to have a different perspective on different topics. Our vision is for this publication to appeal to people of both sexes, from diverse backgrounds and a multitude of races. This is grown men topics however, we welcome all from Hip-Hop, Rock and more to be educated and come to the understanding of Paideia. Paideia Magazine is a monthly online publication that is made available to all readers. I consider Paideia a forward/ throwback magazine that has forward thinking yet reaching back.
2010
Paideia paideia (παιδεία) means "education" or "instruction." Paideia was the process of educating humans into their true form, the real and genuine human nature
WELCOME “Gratitude is the fundamental emotion that one should feel in a state of grace.”
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR Cho Woods Email: Paideia1970@gmail.com
Paideia Is an online magazine containing general views of the current events, commentary views, public interests, with relevant subjects to promote forward thinking and general chaos.
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TRIBUTE TO THE M.J.’S
THE TWO GREATEST OF ALL TIME Michael Jackson passed on June 25, 2009, my mother’s birthday. Everyday prior and after that historic tragic moment, I played the music of a man I admired since my childhood. M.J. Was and still is the most imitated artist ever in the history of entertainment. Some may beg to differ with another famous artist but M.J.’s impact is indisputable. His spins, the oohs he used as a voice instrument, let us all feel good about his music. If he was having a good time, so were we
at family gatherings singing along with him. He was fierce on stage not to be rivaled by anyone but himself. To me Michael Joseph Jackson was as cool as the other side of the pillow. The talk of a kid who could fly was on the mind of the mind of every basketball fan who knew something special was happening in the N.B.A. He his now the measuring stick to
which every player who resembles #23 in style and play. It wasn’t the shoes that made him who he was, it was hard work. As he stated during his induction into the basketball hall of fame. “It was a fire that was fueled by many logs placed on it to give him the motivation to be the best he could be.” He left vivid memories of why they called Michael Jeffrey Jordan the greatest of all time. Period.
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Michael Jackson “ In his best moments, Michael Jackson was quintessentially American, undeniably black and universally loved.” “The say I am different they don’t understand, there are bigger problems that are much more in demand.” - Why you want to trip on me? From the album Dangerous. In a moment of honesty I believe being an only child was temporary for me. From 1977 to 1983, I convince my self that I was fictitiously apart of a larger family who lived three thousand miles from me. That family lived in Encino, California while I dwelled in the concrete jungle of Philadelphia, Pa. I have a famous last name thanks to a famous golfer and my great, great, great grandfather Granville T. Woods but I always thought I was a Jackson during my youth. I claimed the 7th child of my fictitious parents Joseph and Katherine Jackson because he stood out in the group of five brothers. He was the leader; rare and fixated on what is purpose was. His light voice, slim in stature, with an eye for magic and dedication one day to be king.
in negativity. His sequence shirt and socks, high watered tux shined outward like a disco ball turning hitting all point in his path of music destruction. The Off the wall album, cryptic with songs like the title track beginning with manic laughter or “She out of my life,” with the future king crying over a love lost at the end of the track was major for me. I listened to a lot of records in my time from my father’s album collection and not once did I hear a man crying on an album. His passion and sensitivity was his hook. During the early eighties video was an experiment and Michael took full advantage of it as it catapult him to megasuccess. Only the television shows Soul Train and the Midnight Special gave us a stain in our memory of what was was to come.
M i c h a e l ’s s p i n s cleared dark clouds that invisibly shrouded my childhood that was marred
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The Glove One Don’t stop till you get enough Michael Jackson didn’t fail. In fact everything was so on point including the 4 rotation spin to stopping on a dime and posing on his toes during the Billie Jean solo. Michael has never failed to give his fans what they came to see. A mixture of Jackie Wilson, James Brown, Sammy Davis, Jr and Fred Astaire was all there for us to see that left us mesmerized.
with Jackson’s as they sung all of their hits. I remember it being so loud and the light show on the stage was spectacular.
He introduce the world to the famous moon-walk. The dance move wasn’t invented by him, he was taught how to do it with countless hours of practice. The kids in the streets were doing it everyday as break dancing and pop locking was gaining popularity. We could not afford a VCR to tape the performance but The announcement was somehow I memorized the moves made. My mother and I began to and could not wait to get to school to smile as the original five took the do it. stage lining up one by one. I locked on to Michael who looked focus and The more I imitated him the better I ready. His pants were black and became. People would pay me ‘high waters’ showing his black money just to imitate my fictitious penny loafers, with a black sequence brother. I had the glove, the penny loafers, high-water pants and the cardigan sweater and socks. famous Beat It jacket, that I begged His album Thriller was due my mother for. Of course it was a to be release as the single Billie Jean knock-off but I didn’t care. All of the was rising up the charts You could kids wanted one. I was lucky my tell as the music dropped that he mother paid $30.00 just so her only practiced for this very moment. He child could smile and be happy. was ready for the world, reemerging him self to the world. I One of my friends Sean Adolph jumped off the bed studying his would call me, “Gap Band Michael.” every move. I could see my mother He wasn’t referring to the group, smiling at me and was shocked that however he was referring to the gap she didn’t tell me to sit down. The in my front teeth. It didn’t bother television was blasting as I sung me, because I was hustling money to along with the brothers as they ride the trolly or bus home during those winter months all in the name crooned the classics. After the classic performance of Michael Jackson with his brothers the stage was set for him to take off into a In 1984 I was one of a thousand blessed to see the Victory tour with stratosphere. my cousin’s at the old JFK Stadium. I was small but I rocked right along
You were that sensitive soul who endured all of that negativity. You combat each jab with multiplatinum albums, world tours in places I can not find on the map.
On the night Motown was airing its 25th Anniversary, little did I know I was about to witness a little magic. Up to a certain point the show was boring until they announced before the commercial, that the Jackson 5 Reunion was next. I got excited sitting in the spare bedroom with my mother and step father over my grandmothers house.
The Sharp television didn’t display vivid colors but it was enough to view the magic of my distant brother. I sat on the bed in my pajamas waiting for the commercials to end ready to see the spins. Biting my nails with a smile anticipating what was about to take place, the commercial finally ended.
I want to say thank you Michael for bridging the gap. You made it possible for all races to except black folks like: Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, and President Obama just to name a few.
You did it for the love. You were love as you inspired me and many others to dream big. You came from humble beginnings, worked hard with your brothers under your father’s guidance to show that we can all dream.
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Michael Jordan
The Greatest of All Time. He did things with the basketball that others couldn’t. He did it with style, grace and will. He struck fear in his opponents.
“With so many moves I am not gonna say his name, I reminisce of Superman when he played his game. He proved a man can fly and play above the rim, look up in the sky its Michael Jordan.” The line was written and recorded by me to pay homage to a basketball god.
If you told someone 20 years from now about a basketball player that was so good, that players feared him, they will say that is a myth. They will tell you it isn’t so. If you tell them to go to Youtube and type his name in to prove that he was no myth, they would run to We were allowed to see who he was. see a man so driven to be the best it often made his peers obsolete. Michael Jordan was a serious ball player that is compared to no one. When people think of a ball player now, they will compare that player to the Hall of Fame inductee, 6X World Champion. He has so many accolades that it may embarrass him to a degree. I began my love for basketball in the 70’s watching the Philadelphia 76ers play in my beloved city. To me Julius Dr.J Erving was
the best player until the dark skin guard they call Air Jordan or the Black Cat showed up. He was doing things Julius did to the 10th power. He was the first person that made me curse in front of my mother at the age of 14, all because a prolific move. Although I had love for Julius Erving and still do, the good Doctor had to moved to the # 2 slot on my all time list of favorite players. Jordan allowed me to witness the gift that God bestowed to him. Each year he got better and his legend on the court was building along with the most famous brand of basketball shoes ever.
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Jumpman 23
My daughter who is 11 is totally into basketball. She is a fan of Kobe Bryant like my self and tries to study the game by asking me questions about him. Every now and then she will ask what was so special about Michael Jordan? I will crack a smile and go to my videos that I recorded every time the Chicago Bulls played so she could see greatness.. She sits with me excited about the game, learning what Jordan has done for the game. “Daddy I saw Kobe do that same move,” she would say. I explained to her that Jordan is the reason why Kobe, Lebron and Dwyane are who they are. The are all decedents of Julius Erving who pass down the Dream to Michael and Michael to the top players of the day.
He is the measuring stick on how to be the perfect player, but as we know there are no perfect players, but he is a striking resemblance. He is still talked about today as if he is still playing the game me and my daughter love. You can see his game in a lot of players who studied his style, but there is only one master of the hardwood as far as I am concerned. The greatest of all time title will remain during this time and after I am dead and gone. I owe a thank you to my son who allowed me to discover a cheap hobby. Getting up to feed him when he was a baby allowed me to capture Jordan’s highlight moments, and commercials on Sports Center during my son’s early morning feedings. hobby to my son who is now 18.This is my salute to you Jordan. Thank you for allowing me to get up
He had a game within a game early in the morning to watch Sports Center to tape the highlights while feeding my baby boy who is now a grown man. Thank you for the double nickel, the dunk contest duel with Dominique Wilkins, and choking Reggie Miller during a heated game against the Indiana Pacers. Thank you for the style your brought to the game and being original with a little bit of the past as your measuring stick. 23 WAYS TO MAKE YOU PAY Thank for shutting down You showed us that a man could fly the Jordan stoppers, like John Starks, Allen Houston. Thank you for all the as R. Kelly penned the song, “I believe video’s you released each year to let us I can fly.” The basketball logo should have a inside look into your person life. be changed to the Jump-man logo and Thank you for representing your the league should retire the number 23. self in the media sporting those stylish You gave the game so much and saved custom made suits. Thank you for the league after Magic and Bird giving us countless moments and retired. You carried the weight with out keeping the wood burning in your fire. a complaint. Thank you for crying on fathers day Even during the gambling time, when you won Championship #5 and you never let them see you sweat as you when you won Championship #1. continued to torch opponents with Thank you for the greatest dazzling moves. Thank you for proving basketball shoes ever. You and the team Spike Lee wrong that his beloved who worked on The Air Jordan shoe, Knicks were not better than your Bulls gave us a chance to be like Mike even and when you were away playing though most of us could play the game baseball, they had their chance to win like you. You gave us a shoe that we it all but didn’t . I guess its true what could wear whenever, like in the winter they say about black cats. You were bad luck to all that played against you. snow or at our own wedding. Jordan is what his commercial says, “Legendary.”
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Philadelphia Art of Love
In the city of Brotherly love and Sisterly affection
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Gentleman Have a light show in the bedroom Kick the new year off right with something you loved as a kid. Something that you stared at in amazement. I am talking about romance to the next level. Gentleman you can re-capture your childhood with a Lumino Glow. This company encourages you to turn off the lights and
engage in a little foreplay. Gentleman you can’t miss on this grand opportunity to add that extra spice of light in the bedroom. Even if you are in the living room in the dog house, take charge, get back in good graces with your lady, girlfriend, wife, side woman or whatever. Even
the great singer Teddy Pendergrass could not envision this when he sang his song, “Turn off the lights.”
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Hip Hop albums you should have in your house Pt. 1 1986 The album was an instant classic. Run D.M.C was and still super hero’s to me. The are responsible for saving Hip Hop and Aerosmith. The album boast some of the most timeless records to date.
THE LOVE OF MUSIC
M.C. Lyte The Greatest Female M.C. Ever. Period. No other female M.C’d so fierce with confidence. Lyte always went for hers and her catalog of music is proof that she could hang with the fellas to a point of being better than most.
To me Kane is the Greatest Rapper Ever. Period. Kane was doing things in the 90’s that rappers are doing now. When he wrote a song he gave it to you straight with no chaser. “At the table I sit, making it legit when my pen hits the paper ahhh shhhhhh.”
West Philly natives took on the hip hop world with the first album to win a grammy. Prince (Will Smith) showed his skills on the mic and Jeff who I consider the best D.J. on the planet shows what clean cut music could do.
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Rest In Peace Gone but not forgotten I learned more on this album than my whole four years of high school (just kidding. Kris did bring the knowledge on the power pack album. If you do not have it, try to find it. Just like his name KRSONE...Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Every One
Trigger Treach, Vinny and K.G. 3rd album grew up to be mature and thoughtful to the problems of today. The had the anthems and one of my favorite songs call “Sunshine.”
He started with Eric B. He is known as the god M.C. This break out solo joint was his best work to date. He went on to release three other solo albums but the collective work from the lyrical master was perfect timing in 1997 when hip hop needed true lyrics.
She told you she was a Queen, however I don’t think we understood her fully at that time. She came back with this classic album with skills of a man, sass like Sarah Vaughn and strength like a queen. U.N.I.T.Y. we still need that today. Don’t ever call her the “B” word.
She Rides waiting, confident, strong I began to notice and sexy to say the least. there have been a lot of women riders who come Her smooth arms in all flavors. The Harley holding the handle bars riders have the black with both legs planted on leather with the Harleythe ground in Timberland David-son apparel. You boots. The engine grew have some women riders increasingly loud as she who match their helmets Lately I had been having this fascination with motorcycles. I am not talking about the loud HarleyDavidson although I do respect the brand. The brands that I am referring to are: Honda, Yamaha, and the Suzuki. My fascination with motorcycles is starting to build on a daily basis, not because of the style of bike or the pure speed it has, it’s for another reason. Let me explain. On any given nice afternoon , one of those bikes I mentioned would pull along the side of my car while we waited for a light to change green. There she sat straddled ,
revved the throttle. I took notice on how she is position her back, arched, and leaning forward. I could do nothing but watch the appreciation, respecting her independence from a short distance away. That moment seeing her on that bike signified a maturity a sexiness.
with the color of their bikes. They wear doorags, tattoos showing as they lean forward to ride their iron horses. Today there is an increasing number of women riders statistic show. 10% of new motorcycle sales are to women. More women are
being educated about the type of bike they should be riding during the time of taking the course. With some recent interviews I was told that women need to go into the dealership and find the bike that will fit their personality. Most importantly choose a bike that is right for them A lesson one woman told me was, “a woman should choose a bike that they can pick up or get off the ground in case it falls.�
Unfortunately, some dealerships care mostly about the sale, not the safety of the rider & everyone that will share the road with them. The salesperson won't be in
traffic when she tips the bike and jambs up the road because she can't get the bike up off the pavement. I have a lot of respect for women who ride a bike they can control and enjoy. Again, there is a powerful, sexy confidence that comes with that.
After speaking to some of the local dealers, they find more experienced women riders are choosing the Suzuki GSXR600, and less experienced riders
choosing the Kawasaki Ninja 250 and 500. Dealers mentioned the reasons for purchasing the sport bikes varied, but the majority of women buyers seemed to be emphasizing speed, light weight, and overall look, along with comfort and fit. Dealers recommended the following models for
women just starting to ride: Kawasaki Ninja EX250, Kawasaki Ninja EX500, Honda Rebel, and Yamaha V-Star. These recommendations also checked out with research
concerning the Motorcycle Safety Foundation (MSF) safety courses. The MSF courses provide a variety of motorcycles to both men and women, some specific models are Honda Rebels, Honda Nighthawks, Kawasaki Ninjas, Yamaha Viragos, all in the 200-250 cc range.
Who said you had to look like a tough biker when it comes to riding motorcycles? Female riders can look feminine and beautiful even in full gear and a helmet. The trick: keeping your complexion feeling and looking fresh and sporting hair that can withstand even the longest ride. With these simple beauty tips, any woman can look her best on and off the bike. I do not currently ride myself but I am seriously thinking about getting my license and purchasing a bike. Until then I will say rock on sisters and enjoy your self. May be one day you will see this man next to you, the experience biker woman.
Perfectly Natural Don’t call it a come back, it’s been here for decades, the natural style of hair cut for black women emerging more and more everyday. Nothing says more to me than the natural beauty of the black woman. The different hues, size of lips, body and attitude are all apart of the package. I see beautiful black women with the natural cut, glossed lips , eye brows arch with a swagger all of their own. “It’s one of the things that make us so beautiful and unique,” Tiffany a local customer conveyed to me in a hair product shop. She was a deep chocolate skin woman with large hooped ear rings to remind the world that she is a woman and still sexy with her choice of hair cut. Tiffany was in the mens hair grease aisle instead of where the perms and weaves were located, searching for the right brand that would keep her close cut looking healthy. “To say that you have to be one way in order to be black is well, ignorant and silly. I am proud I made made this choice after spending so much money on a product to look european. A black woman can now have that straight hair, choose to have kinky or with a light fade cut. We are always setting the trends with everything you see. They use to tease our ancestors about their huge lips now they capitalize on making european lips bigger with bottom shots.” Tiffany said. She concluded by saying, we need to get out of thinking that in order to be “black” we have to look/be a certain way. It keeps us segregated and divided. And black women; stop putting each other down and treating each other bad because of the choice an individual made. Go online and Google the name Amber Rose, the former stripper and current girlfriend of Kanye West. She’s white, yes I said white and she is beautiful. Amber saw the potential of being notice and has adopted the trend of going with the close cut after cutting her traditional mane. It worked for her maybe changing your style to something other than the ordinary.
Cassette tapes are making a come back...as a recycle cassette tape tie
By Andrew Liszewski Designed by Alyce Santoro and Julio Cesar, these rather dapper Sonic Fabric Neckties are made from 50% colored thread and 50% recorded audio cassette tape which means you can sacrifice an old Walkman to make a ’sonic fabric reader‘ Cost $90
Mortal Thought Open Source
A famous man once said: As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why: A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting. A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in whom she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 give a hoot what you might think about her or what she’s doing. Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the movies or in the middle of a restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated. A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over 30 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her. Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Older women are forthright and honest. They’ll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her. Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of him with some 22-year-old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying and entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
Listen! Know your history I recently took a trip to the popular Old Navy store and notice that they are selling band/group T-shirts. For those who haven’t seen them, they are T-shirts with popular band, solo and group artist. They currently sell Pink Floyd, Run D.M.C., and Jimi Hendrix to name a few. I am elated to see that they have the Run D.M.C. shirt because I grew up with them and to know they have the exposure to the younger people today is a great thing. However, I have this little internal problem that I can not seem to shake. I believe that anyone who purchased one of those shirts should know a song or the history of the band. I feel compelled to walk up and ask anyone do they know the history or can recite a complete song. For example if I ask someone out of the blue to tell me one Run D.M.C. song, I believe the first song of choice will be “Walk this way.” That particular song was made famous by Aerosmith, re-did by Run D.M.C. and brought Aerosmith back to life. They will have to give me something more but I know that will not happen because I simply will not ask anyone. The thought will always reside in the back of my mind. I know who Jimi Hendrix is but I have no clue to what his music was, however I understand what he meant to rock during his era. I have a friend who whom I ask the same question came up with a different spin. She stated that her daughter loves Marilyn Monroe and ask her why she love wearing her Marilyn shirt, her daughter replied “I saw Beyonce’ wearing it.” We both shared in a good laugh just thinking about all the things that Marilyn did while she was alive. Maybe because I am older and looking more into than I should but the younger people I think should know their history in terms of groups or idols whose image is on a shirt. I understand that fashion is trendy and I respect that. You have purchase the shirt that represent you. However take time Google the history and you may find out they are far more interesting than an image folded sitting on the shelf, waiting to be purchase.
Remembering the time Who knew the personification of cool would come so soon with a dip in his walk, confidence in his stance, and a smile of assurance? Who knew the essence of a beautiful woman would come with style, strength and elegance standing by her husband’s side as he embarked on taking the highest office in the land? The answer is no one. No one could have known what was on the horizon when he spoke at the Democratic Convention four years prior of being an important part of the convention himself. He had the poise, oratorical and wisdom to become the leader of the free world but would America do the unthinkable in November 2008? Barack Obama made a believer of us when all of America stood up to witness history as he was elected to be President of the United States of America. Being amazed is one thing, but the mix sea of people who gathered to be in our nations capital during the inauguration was a staggering sight to see. Until that day I thought the Million Man March was something to behold. One man with strong ideas and passion about the country he loves, change the course of history forever. Out finest representative in terms of one of few African American’s who were seeking to be President showed little black kids that it can be a reality. The whole world watched, cried, cheered, and jumped for joy because prayer to God made it possible. I stayed home and recorded every moment to digital video disc. Who could forget as President Obama stood, waiting to come out to greet his country with his head bowed in prayer? That moment is one of my favorites that had me pondering what was on his mind at that time. One thing for sure, I know a few prayers went up and for all of us the blessing came down with a sea of confirmation.
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Here is the cure for ANGER ANTIDOTE 1 - Patience. Patience is the main antidote to anger. As common wisdom says: just count to 100... During this time, any of the below methods can be effective. The most effective method will depend on the actual situation. Especially in our age of rush and intense change, patience may not be seen as a positive quality, but take a minute to think impatience can easily give rise to a general feeling of anger.
HOLD IT!
ANTIDOTE 2 - Realisation of the Noble Truth of Suffering. Once one understands that problems and frustration is a basic fact of life, it can reduce our impatience with our own unrealistic expectations. In other words: nothing is perfect, so don't expect it. Because of my belief that things are or can be perfect, it is easy to feel hurt. ANTIDOTE 3 - Understanding Karma. As explained in the page on Karma, the real reasons for our problems are our own actions, which are in turn caused by our own negative states of mind. If someone makes us angry, it has a sobering effect if we dare to think that the real reasons for this situation are our own past actions, and the person is just a circumstance for our own karma to ripen. ANTIDOTE 4 - Openness Be prepared to be open for the motivation of others to do what causes you problems. Talking it over and being prepared to listen can suddenly make a problem acceptable. Did you ever notice the difference when a plane or train has much delay and nobody gives any reasons for it? People very quickly become irritated and hostile. Then when the driver or pilot explains there is a technical defect or an accident, suddenly waiting becomes easier. ANTIDOTE 5 - Relativity. Ask yourself if this situation is actually important enough to spoil your own and other people's mood. Is this problem worth
We are different When speaking amongst each other, women typically will give Men and women also make verbal signals that are often called decisions about things very “listening noises” such as, “Uh differently, such as how each of the Huh“, “Really?”, “Are you kidding sexes go about asking for things me?”, and so on. Women often they want or need. Remember, physically lean in towards the other speak THEIR language, not your person, sometimes reaching out to own. Women have been taught touch the other woman while in the since childhood to use “hint midst of conversation. Women are language” when asking for also known to do things “in packs“, something she wants or needs. A such as when groups of women go woman may say, “Honey, wouldn’t to the restroom together at a be nice to go see a movie tonight”?, restaurant, just because one woman when she really means “I want to go in the group suggests it. Men, on see a movie tonight”. Unfortunately, the other hand, give more nonmen often do not get the hint. This verbal signals while communicating is due to the fact that “hint with other men, perhaps nodding language” is not a part of a man’s their head or smiling to signify they language style, since men tend to are listening. You are much less take language very literally, focusing likely to find a man leaning in on the content of the message towards or reaching out and instead of hidden meanings. Given touching the other man they are the question above, “Wouldn’t it be conversing with, and you certainly nice to go see a movie tonight”?, a won’t find packs of men heading off man just might answer with an to the restroom at the restaurant affirmative “No”, leaving the woman together like women do. Well, to wonder if her husband or partner unless, never mind. even cares about what she wants or needs. Ladies, change your On average, it has been approach, by clearly stating the estimated that men speak 12,500 bottom line of what you want or words in a given day and women need instead of dropping hints. Be speak about 25,500 words in a day. direct. Women that have learned the Thus comes the old joke about a art of assertive and respectful man going to work and using up communication, without sounding 12,495 words and coming home bossy or aggressive, understand with only five words left! When he that when it comes to arrives home from work he says, communication, delivery is “What’s for dinner?” (that’s three) everything. and “Good night” (that’s five!). Men communicate to report facts, while
women communicate to build rapport. This mismatch of ReportTalk vs. Rapport-Talk can greatly increase the friction and tension in interpersonal relationships with those of the opposite sex, in our home lives and in the work place. Men, when your wife asks you “How was your day?” and you reply with a simple “Fine” with little or no details, she will be left feeling like “he never tells me anything” or “I have no idea what is going on in his life“. The ability to communicate is the greatest commodity you possess in all relationships, whether personal or business related. Those having excellent communication skills have better relationships, better marriages, raise children to be more functional – and tend to be more successful in their careers. The old saying, “Great communicators are people who change their approach based upon the person they are talking to” couldn’t be more true. Becoming fully aware of the language differences amongst the two sexes will greatly improve your communication with those of the opposite sex, in your home life and in the work place. Men and women THINK differently Men and women SPEAK differently Men and women DECIDE
RED ALERT! Do you really know?
Gentleman I know you know all there is to know about your lady, girlfriend, wife or side girlfriend. I just thought I would remind you on somethings:
1. Every woman is different. If your super-duper signature technique had your last girlfriend hanging from the chandeliers and bellowing out to Mother Mary, good for you. But don’t expect the same thing to work on your new lover. Our bodies- and needs- vary drastically. One size does not fit all. 2. A woman’s body is like an old beater car in subzero weather. It takes a while to warm her up. Don’t expect a warm welcome if you go from zero to sixty straight to her coochie. Foreplay will take you far. Our bodies sometimes need a little coaxing. So often we live completely in our heads. Our minds are spinning with thoughts about work, the kids, and tomorrow’s to-do list. If you help bring us into our bodies by arousing different erogenous zones, like the ears, the lips, the breasts, the inner thigh, the belly button, even the toes, you help remind us that our bodies can offer pleasure if we only inhabit them. 3. Love her and earn her trust. For most women, sex and love get all tangled. Not to say there aren’t
some Samantha’s out there who love to just get it on. But for most of us, we see sex as an expression of love, and if we don’t feel nurtured by you, we may not get all hot and bothered when you want to shake the sheets. Love her well and earn her trust. Pleasure will likely follow. 4. Set the mood in the bedroom. Surprise her with candles, mood music, and a flower on her pillow. Whisper sweet nothings. Don’t serve up silly platitudes, but say what you feel. When we cover our bellies with our hands and try to turn off the light, tell us we’re beautiful, just the way we are. Share how much you care. Romance gets her in the mood and helps her relax. 5. Know a woman’s anatomy. Need help? Take the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour (http:// www.owningpink.com/2009/05/05/ the-pretty-pink-pussy-tour-yourvulva-vagina-and-you/) 6. Think sensually, not sexually. Immerse yourself in the sensory experience of her and find your own timing together. 7. Give your partner permission to offer feedback, and don’t take it personally. If your partner doesn’t respond to something you’re doing, it doesn’t reflect on your skill as a lover. It just doesn’t work for her unique anatomy and physiology. If you act dejected every time she
offers you feedback, she’s likely to stop trying to help you please her. Accept constructive criticism lovingly. 8. Fine tune your radar. Even if you invite your partner to offer feedback, she may not feel comfortable talking about sex. Many of us have been so conditioned to consider sex taboo that we clam up when the subject arises. Learn to read your partner’s subtle signals, and over time, you will discover what pleases her. Little grunts and moans usually signal YES, and while silence may simply signal shyness, it may also mean that what you’re doing isn’t working for her. Pay attention to body language too. When she moves towards you, it’s a good sign, and if she adjusts her body to a different angle, she might be trying to show you where she wants you to be.
10. Do not take it personally if your lover doesn’t orgasm during intercourse. Some lucky women get off from the mere thought of intercourse, but the majority of women do not experience orgasm through intercourse alone. If you expend so much energy trying to make her cum while you’re having intercourse, you may miss the rich opportunity to satisfy her in other ways. Sure, try your best to please your woman. But don’t pressure her. Many women will not orgasm during intercourse, even with the most skilled partner. 11. There may or may not be a G-Spot. While some women swear by the G-Spot and experience vaginal orgasms, most women can only orgasm during intercourse if they’ve figured out a way to directly stimulate the clitoris. For more about stimulating the G-spot, check out The G-Spot: Fact or Fiction (http://www.owningpink.com/ 2009/07/30/owning-sexuality-the-gspot-fact-or-fiction/). 12. Pull out the Kama Sutra. No need to focus all your energy on making her orgasm during intercourse, but why not try? Check out some books about sexual positions and have fun experimenting, like 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples by Laura Corn. You never know what might hit the spot for your lover. Be creative.
13. NEVER EVER compare her to another woman. I don’t care what the hell Jane or Sally or Maryanne liked in bed, and neither does your lover. If you think about other women when you’re making love to yours, please- for the love of Godkeep your thoughts to yourself. 14. Most women love oral sex. To a woman, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Soft, wet tongue meets delicate pink pearl? Can you hear us purr? We love it even more if we think you do too. Start gently. Explore the inner thighs, the labia, the opening to the vagina. When her body language indicates that she’s ready, lick, suck, and swirl her clitoris in circles, mixed with up and down motions. Use your hands to explore the rest of her. 15. Help your partner out. If you lover prefers to orgasm during intercourse, stimulate her first with oral sex to help sensitize her delicate organs. Encourage her to explore positions that stimulate her clitoris, such as the woman-on-top position. Use your hands to touch her while you’re having intercourse, or invite her to touch herself. She knows best what feels good, and if you tell her how much it turns you on to see her touch herself, she may feel more comfortable augmenting her own pleasure. 16. Just because you’re done, doesn’t mean she is. If your orgasm is over, don’t assume hers is too. Maybe she was holding out so she could orgasm during intercourse,
but if you cum before she does, no stress. Just finish the job and help her feel as good as you do. 17. Invite her favorite sex toy into the bedroom. Did you see what happened to Charlotte from Sex and the City when she discovered The Rabbit? Don’t make her go undercover with her vibrator. The sex toys are your friends, not your competition. Let them stimulate both of you, and encourage her to explore. 18. Get Tantric or explore Taoist sexuality. Want to elevate your lovemaking to a spiritual plane? Check out Tantric or Taoist sexuality. (http://www.ofspirit.com/ rachelcarltonabrams1.htm) 19. Remember that sex is meant to be about making love. Don’t get so focused on technique that you forget to connect. Look deep into her eyes. Caress her lovingly. Tell her how you feel. Hug her. Love her. 20. Cuddle when it’s over. Please don’t jump up and go watch the game. We make ourselves vulnerable, put ourselves out there, and want to know you’re still with us when it’s over. Snuggle in and stick around a while.
TOGETHER FOREVER “What does it mean to be one flesh in a marriage?” (Genesis 2:21-24) “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” The term “one flesh” means that even as your body is one “whole” and cannot be divided into pieces and still be a “whole,” so this is how God intended it to be with the marriage relationship. There are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity (a married couple). There are a number of aspects to this new union. It has always been God’s intention for a married couple to remain one unit until death parts them (Matthew 19:6). When divorce occurs, you no longer have two “wholes” but rather two halves that have been ripped
apart. As far as emotional attachments are concerned, the new unit takes precedence over all previous and future relationships (Genesis 2:24a). Some marriage partners continue to place greater weight upon ties with parents than with their new partner… this is a recipe for disaster in the marriage and a perversion of God’s original intention of “leaving and cleaving.” A similar problem can develop when a spouse begins to draw closer to a child to meet emotional needs rather than to the other partner. Emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in every other way, the couple is to become one (and even as one part of the body cares for the other body parts, the brain directs the body for the good of the whole, the hands work for the sake of the body, etc), so each partner of the marriage is to show like care for the other and for the family as a whole. Each partner is no longer to see money earned as “my” money but now as the “family’s” money. And one’s pursuit is not to be what I want to do with my time and my money, but is to be what I need to do for the sake of my spouse and family. Ephesians 5:22-33 and Proverbs 31:10-31 give the application of this “oneness” to the role of the husband and to the wife respectively. This oneness and this pursuit of the benefit of the other is not
automatic. The man, in Genesis 2:24, is told to “cleave” to his wife. The word has two ideas behind it. One is to be “glued” to his wife, a picture of how tight the marriage bond is to be. The other aspect is to “pursue hard after” the wife. This “pursuing hard after” is to go beyond the courtship leading to marriage and is to continue throughout the marriage. The fleshly tendency is to “do what feels good to me” rather than to consider what will benefit the spouse. And this self-centeredness is the rut that marriages commonly fall into once the “honeymoon is over.” Instead of each spouse dwelling upon how his or her needs are not being met, they are to remain focused on meeting the needs of their spouse. Unfortunately, justified selfcenteredness (”it is okay for me to focus on myself because of what my spouse is or is not doing”) often takes over in a number of marriage relationships. But as nice as it may be for two people to live together meeting each other’s needs, God has a higher calling for the marriage. Even as they were to be serving Christ with their lives before marriage, now they are to serve Christ together as a unit. As a couple pursues serving Christ together, the joy which the Spirit gives will fill their marriage. Without God, a lasting oneness will not be possible.
“The lost instrument with a beautiful sound to sooth the soul.�
The mbira or thumb piano is the ancestor of the modern day kalimba. The first Europeans to record seeing mbiras were Portuguese explorers who came to Africa in the 1400's. They found the instruments to be very odd. The tuning was largely non-western; perfect 5ths were present in the tunings, but other intervals didn't fit the stillevolving western paradigm very well. In the Zambezi Valley, around present-day Zimbabwe, mbiras evolved
into very complex instruments with very deep music which is highly integrated into the culture. Many scholars presume that the metal-tined mbiras originated here, far from where the Portuguese first saw them. Indeed, I have heard that some creation myths from this area tell of how The Creator gave metal to the human race for the express use of making mbiras. We might assume that the mbira dates back to the first use of metal in SubSaharan Africa.
Think about connecting what we do know - that mbiras were widespread and had evolved into different regional styles by the time the Portuguese came in the 1500's - to what we imagine back in history, that the idea of the mbira was born somewhere in the Zambezi Valley and then spread throughout Africa. But as the mbira spread, each group of people made their own version of it. This means that each group made modifications to the instrument design, such as how many tines the instrument had or what sort of board or gourd they are mounted on or in. But it also meant that each group of people developed their own tunings, and their own music. Furthermore, each group of people used the mbira differently in their social lives. In some African cultures, the mbira and its modern descendent the kalimba is the personal instrument of choice, something to take with you to help you pass the time tending cattle or riding the bus. In some places, it is an instrument of
celebration for weddings. It is an instrument to accompany the voice. And in some societies, it is a tool to attract the spirits of ancestors, to bring them back for a time so that their advice might be heard. The mbira/kalimba is many different instruments, and plays many different roles across Africa. And this slow spread and differentiation in the instrument had already occurred 600 years ago. It is easy to imagine that this process took a long time. Perhaps 400 years? Well, that gives us a nice round age we can assign to the kalimba: 1000 years old.
KALIMBA
Maurice White of Earth Wind and Fire used this small instrument to illustrate the groups complexity. The thumb piano was close to Maurice’s heart; he introduce the listeners by making it the center piece of the groups music. One of the groups songs that feature the instrument was “Kalimba Story” that had Maurice rocking out in a Jimi Hendrix style. The instrument represented the
groups link to Africa. The group was able to mix the sound of the tiny dynamo with the erotic sound to percussion and guitar riffs and base.
STYLE I
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“She rose out of North Philly’s notorious Raymond Rosen housing projects – where she used to put in during pick runs with the likes of Hank Gathers and other legends – to become the greatest point guard ever in the history of the women’s game. In the late ’80s and early ’90s, the skills of lead men extraordinaire Isiah Thomas and Kenny Anderson had nothing on Dawn Staley.”
Dawn Staley still thinks like a player despite the fact that she has been very successful as a head coach. The 2004 Atlantic 10 Coach of the Year, who initially had to be talked into the profession, has won 74 games in her first four seasons, captured Temple's only two conference championships and earned three postseason bids. All of these accomplishments occurred while Staley maintained her highly publicized "summer job" as
North Philadelphia’s Own Dawn Michelle Staley (born May 4, 1970 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Dawn Staley
an All-Star player for the WNBA's Charlotte Sting. In the summer of 2004 she captured her third Olympic Gold Medal, playing for team USA in the 2004 Games in Athens, Greece and was selected as the United States flag bearer for the opening ceremonies.
the school's first Atlantic 10 Conference Tournament title and in 2004 she led the Owls to the top of the A-10 East standings with a 14-2 record and Temple's second A-10 Tournament title for her second trip to the Big Dance as a coach. The 2004 Atlantic 10 Conference Coach of the Year and 2002 Philadelphia Big 5 Coach of the Year, Staley currently boasts a 74-47 (.612) record after finishing the 2003-04 season with a 21-10 mark.
championships. Staley was a three-time Kodak AllAmerican while starring at the University of Virginia (1989-92). She helped UVA to a 110-21 record and four appearances in the NCAA Tournament. Three of those trips led to Final Four appearances in 1990, 1991 and 1992, and in 1991 the Cavaliers were the national runners-up. She holds the NCAA record for steals with 454 and was named the National Player of the Year in 1991 and 1992. In addition, she was the ACC Conference Player of the Year in 1991 and 1992 and the Rookie of the Year in 1989.
Staley began her storied basketball career at Dobbins Tech High School (1986-89) Temple's head coach in Philadelphia where she was named USA Today's since the 2000-01 season, Staley has led the Owls to a National High School Player pair of NCAA Tournaments of the Year and led Dobbins in her four years at the helm. to three straight Philadelphia In 2002, Temple captured Public League The greatest female point guard ever.
Philly’s Finest.
Coach Staley
From 1992 to 1994, Staley played professional players that with a number of professional teams in represented the United France, Italy, Brazil and Spain. In 1994, States in the Olympic she returned to American soil and competed for USA Basketball in the Goodwill games and the World Championships. That year, Staley was named USA Basketball Female Athlete of the Year. In 1996, Staley guided the historic USA Basketball Women's team that compiled a perfect 60-0 record and captured the gold medal at the Olympic Games in Atlanta. Staley began her United States professional playing career when she joined the Richmond Rage of the ABL in 1996-97 and helped the team to the ABL finals. The Rage moved to Philadelphia for the 1997-98 season and played at The Liacouras Center on Temple's main campus. She averaged 14.0 ppg., 7.2 apg., and 3.5 rpg. in her ABL career and was a twotime ABL All-Star. Staley then moved to the WNBA as the number nine pick of the Charlotte Sting in the 1999 WNBA draft. In her first season in Charlotte, she averaged 11.5 ppg and ranked third in the league in assists with 5.5 apg. en route to leading the Sting to a second place finish in the WNBA's Eastern Conference.
Games in Sydney, Australia. Despite those commitments she still found time to head the Dawn Staley Foundation which is aimed at giving inner-city children positive input. The foundation sponsors after-school programs, a three-hour focus on academics and athletics at the Hank Gathers Recreation Center, as well as summer leagues and fund-raising activities. She was awarded the 1999 WNBA Entrepreneurial Spirit Award for her work with the Foundation.
Bird. Staley is one of just three women in American history to earn three consecutive Olympic basketball gold medals (Olympic teammates Lisa Leslie and Sheryl Swoopes are the others).
Dawn coaching at Temple University now coaching South Carolina A three-time WNBA All-Star, Staley helped lead the Sting to the 2001 During the summer of 2000, Staley WNBA Finals despite Charlotte was quite busy as she played another beginning the season with a 1-10 season for the Charlotte Sting and was record. In 2003, Staley won the skills a member of the first Women's "Dream competition at the WNBA's All-Star Team," a collection of women's Weekend, edging out Seattle's Sue
STYLE II With Editor Cho Woods
Interviewer Jasmine: Tell me what your definition of a gentleman is? Editor: A gentleman is made over time as a consequence of their actions and choices. Jasmine: Tell me about how you feel about fedoras? Editor: I love the ritual of donning a hat, of tilting it to express mood, pushing it back on your head to express exasperation. I love the formality of it, of make a bold statement. I’ve been wearing them off and on since I was seven.
says, I am a man who is sure of my self; I am bold enough to do this and bold enough to do whatever else I set my mind to. I tend to wear mind more in the winter time. It sets a nice leather jacket off and gives that older mysterious look. Some time when I wear my fedora, I walk purposely in the mall to some of the so-called men stores that are blended with women’s fashion and see the kind of reaction I will get. The guys nod their head and I often get a second look from the older women and a curious look from the younger women. Jasmine: Its almost like people are thinking, “look at this young guy and where did he come from?”
Jasmine: What does a fedora say about the man wearing it? How do you feel when you wear yours? I bet Editor: Yes. It’s something to obsess over; to get the styling just people react differently when you wear one than when you do not. right, to perch it on the head with something approachable cocksure Editor: It is a bold statement. panache. To me it sets me apart from When worn correctly, with unabashed the baseball cap wearing guys. A rule self-confidence and rakish bravado, it my father taught me long ago is be
different, stay interesting and people will notice you. The fedora is a nice accent to any outdoor wardrobe. Jasmine: What do you think about women in fedoras? Editor: It’s sexy. Jasmine: Sexy? Editor: Yes. Because when a woman wears once they have something extra going on with the attitude. I love that! It adds to the sexiness that woman already have.
Love is what he was all about, he understood his role in life. He touched and entertained millions from around the globe. He is not the king of pop. He is simply the KING! Michael Jackson: The Greatest Entertainer of all time! Rest in peace my brother.
Thank you for reading Paideia Magazine.