Still WiseCracking posts 2020 by PAFC

Random Perspectives On Life and Aging

First Edition 2020

About The Still Wisecracking Blog

Still WiseCracking is a blog authored by a team of experienced adults who have come together to share personal experiences, opinions about, perspectives on, insights regarding, and workarounds to the challenges and opportunities of growing older in Larimer County. We have herein a few selected posts shared over the past three years. You can view all of our posts from https://www.pafclarimer.org/blogs If you are interested in joining our team of contributors, you can email Kirsten Hartman at kirstenhartman@comcast.net or Bonnie Shetler at bshetler@icloud.com

Meet The Team

Meet the WiseCracking writers enjoying lunch and brainstorming about new topics related to aging and life as an older adult. Left to right: Melisse Anderson, Mike Bradley, Jesse Kerchenfaut, Libby James, Bonnie Shetler (and lunch host), Kirsten Hartman, Suzie Daggett and Cheryl Noble (behind the camera). Missing: Barbara Fleming, Jane Everham These sound bites on life are meant to brighten and/or enlighten your day!

November 2020

Escape to Wyoming - By Libby James

I haven’t been on the road much lately so when my daughter Kristin invited me to tour Wyoming with her, I was ready to go! We set off from her home in Cheyenne on a Sunday afternoon headed to Casper and then on to Lander, where she once lived. It was too hot for anything more than a walk around the border of the town. There was so little traffic, so little activity that we began calling it “the quiet town.” We had hoped to hike in Sinks Canyon where the Popo Agie River vanishes near the mouth of the canyon but the heat kept us from doing that. Then it was on through the beautiful Wind River Canyon, heading north toward Thermopolis, home of the world’s largest hot springs—not a tourist attraction with great appeal as the temperature approached 100 degrees! Our next stop was Meeteetse, (Indian for meeting place), population 397 and the home of one of Kristin’s good friends where we were treated royally. Our hostess has deep roots in Meeteetse, owns quite a bit of property there and serves the town’s Episcopal Church as its priest. Then on to Cody—Buffalo Bill country and a taste of the old West. Another of Kristin’s friends had us for lunch. Afterwards we headed back toward Cheyenne, a six hour trip where there was lots of opportunity to appreciate the 3

many miles of grasslands and lack of any sort of human development. Over the many years that she has lived in the state, Kristin has come to love the place, its people, and the wide open spaces. “It’s a well-kept secret,” she says. I don’t expect she will ever leave. -⨑⨑⨑⨑October 2020 Giant Yo-yo Days - By Kirsten Hartman

When asked, “ How are you?”, I often want to say, “I feel like I am a yo-yo.” In the spring, yo-yo referred to learning about Covid, and how to protect myself and my family. The news was full of too many people dying in isolation and then I would notice another flower blooming, the grass turning green, and hear kids playing outside. Thru the summer the yo-yo was coping with heat, more dreadful news, and then news and events that lifted my spirits. How can I feel both happy and sad at the same time? Or grief and joy simultaneously? Or depression and contentment together? These Covid days are teaching me, and encouraging me to practice more my coping mechanisms. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

August 2020

To Do or Not - Bonnie Shetler That is the question most mornings. Without an external schedule to guide me, setting daily priorities that are entirely mine to determine can be a challenge. Not that there aren’t plenty of choices - ongoing virtual contacts, volunteer projects, exercise routines, housekeeping chores, hiking, biking, sewing new masks, reading a growing pile of books. But when I wake up in the morning and first figure out what day of the week it is (never mind the month or year) I then realize that, beyond the few items actually committed to my calendar, it doesn’t really matter. I can do what I want this day. A surprisingly daunting position. My best days are ones that have at least one predetermined major task to accomplish, like cleaning and polishing the wood floors, trying out a new mask pattern, reorganizing computer files, pulling weeds, answering or cleaning up a long list of unattended emails, or the still to be addressed stacks of accumulated paper files, flies, and moths piled up in my personal writing shed. The longer that last task gets postponed the more the ‘out of sight out of mind’ strategy deploys. I have not been over there in weeks, partly in fear of the horde of moths - living and deceased - that will confront me as soon as I open the screen door. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

May 2020 Conversations with my cat - Barbara Fleming Living alone during the pandemic is challenging to say the least. Introvert though I am, I find I need to be with people from time to time to nourish my spirit. Zoom is great, but it's just not the same as in person. So I find myself talking to my cat, Shadow. He is 15 years old, a gray ball of fur who sits on my lap just about every time I sit down. I tell him what's happening and he looks at me with his catly stare, rarely responding. Sometimes, he starts washing himself vigorously. Inviting me to stop talking? Then, later, he will begin meowing at me. He has a wide repertoire of meows, from plaintive to demanding, and I can often interpret them reasonably well. The most puzzling is the silent meow, when he opens his mouth and no sound comes out. What is he trying to tell me? I expect he is asking himself the same question: "What in the world is she yammering about?" Still, we both persist. I look to the day when I can have two-way, in-person conversations with another twolegged creature, but in the meantime, Shadow and I are endeavoring to keep calm and carry on. At least we have each other. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

March 2020 Isolation is for Mass Murderers - Mike Bradley This isolation business is for mass murderers on death row, not the general population (gosh that is sounding like a prison isn't it). I'm finding I'm better off if I have structure to my day. I finally decided a first step towards normalizing this predicament was to get dressed every day, that seems to put a new light on things, although I haven't given up my slippers. I do wish I had a few to choose from but alas when isolation began to make sense I only had a five year old pair, how embarrassing! Speaking of five year spans, some freezer contents fell under the slipper situation. The upshot of that was my freezer got cleaned out and organized. This definitely added to the structure of one day. Connecting with friends and relatives (I know they should fall under the same category, but you know how that goes) has taken a place in my "structure", to the point that my cell (my only phone) has begun to run out of juice by 3 ish, which calls for a recharge. This gives me reluctant time to check one more closet for dust, out dated clothes, games with pieces missing, 4 inch heels that would send me to an orthopedic Dr. almost immediately and did I mention dust. Add in a walk outside and there goes your day. Oh, and just to keep the adrenaline at fever pitch, a good hour of cable news does the trick. Binge watching Game 7

of Thrones and The Newsroom (HBO if you are interested) usually tops off my day. That doesn't bode well for a good night's sleep, but , oh well, I don't really have any place to go right now. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

On Social Distancing - Barbara Fleming I am okay so far, though this social isolation is taking a toll on me. The hardest part is that time is passing, I am getting older every day, and with each day that passes, my opportunity to share with others what I know and wanted to talk about this year— formidable women in Fort Collins history—diminishes incrementally. Up until now, I have not let my age affect my life any more than it has to; now, it has become a painful reminder of just how short life is. -⨑⨑⨑⨑February 2020

Keeping a Journal - Libby James I have been keeping a journal in one form or another since 1949 when I was 13 and in the eighth grade in Seattle, Washington. My first penciled writings were in a little red “Five Year Diary” that came with a lock and key. Words in the front of the diary read: Memory is elusive –capture it. The mind is a wonderful machine. It need but be just refreshed and incidents can 8

again be revived in their former clarity. A line each day, whether it be of the weather or of more important substances, will, in time to come, bring back those vague memories, worth remembering, to almost actual reality. On Jan. 1 my first entry reads: Dear Diary, Last night Doris stayed overnight here and we went on Bill Foster’s paper route at 2 a.m. Was it cold! We got in heck! The roads were so icy we didn’t get to Sunday School. We played in the snow on the toboggan and sled l took John (my three-year-old brother) to Doris’s on the sled and pulled him all the way. When we finally had eaten, Daddy washed my hair and put it up. Was I tired. # And so it goes on… I have often wondered if I would ever go back and read my journals from the last 70 years. A few weeks ago, I decided to give it a try and it is a daunting task. Yet those words I quoted above from my red diary are true. I’ve been blown away by things I had forgotten for so long: names of people I no longer remember, and thoughts and feelings that I do, brought to life by a few scribbled words on a page. Maybe by spring, I’ll emerge with a whole new look at my life. Whatever the outcome, I know I have hours and hours of bedtime reading scheduled. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

Meditation 101 - Suzie Daggett Starting a meditation practice can be confusing. Our knees will not bend right, our back hurts, we do not follow a guru or specific way of life, our thoughts are roaring loudly the moment we shut our eyes, we do not understand chanting and we don’t know how to breathe deeply. We feel we have flunked meditation. Yet, with mindfulness mediation going mainstream, there is an approachable door to inner awareness. If you love to sing, play an instrument, listen to music, practice yoga, dance, garden, run, hike, bike or walk your dog, you can find meditative moments. It is that special space when your busy left-brain goes off line and your creative right brain sparks with being in the moment. By engaging moments of calm, you can find quietness, inner focus, heightened senses, open heart fuzziness, energetic aliveness, spaciousness and a connection to something other than the mighty ego trying so hard to control the past or future. Meditative moments are sublime. Thoughts may still creep into your awareness (they always do!), but by putting your overactive brain on pause and opening your heart to hearing and feeling the richness of life, a sweet space opens and a smile lights up your face. You have found one way to meditate! -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

Please Don’t Call Me Dear - Bonnie Shetler Once a month I meet three of my friends for breakfast at a restaurant in Old Town where we discuss everything from national affairs to personal matters. We like the restaurant. We like the food. But at least one of us gets noticeably irritated when the young waitresses almost invariably greet us with 'would you like coffee dear?' or words to that effect. Personally I am more amused by my friend's reaction than I am disturbed by the terms of address, but I get her point. I doubt that the well-meaning server addresses her younger customers that way and it does come across as a mite condescending. I have eaten in many small rural cafes where the longserving, middle-aged waitress calls everyone 'Dear' or 'Hon' and I have considered it a quaint, even amusing, custom - just like in the movies. But somehow when a twenty something waitress applies it to me or my seventy something friends it creates an entirely different impression. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

January 2020 Happiness - Libby James The English document after which the Declaration of Independence is modeled read, “life, liberty, and the pursuit of property.” The United States changed it to read “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” So, I guess happiness is pretty important. What makes me happy? A deep sleep between sun-dried sheets, making a candlelit meal for friends, a long, frosty, early morning run, a movie that tickles my funny bone, “discovering” a new friend, watching a student “get” a math concept, kneading bread and watching it rise, learning something new, solving a dilemma however small, completing a task I didn’t think I could, hot chocolate when nothing else will do, writing something worthwhile, fooling around with gel pens, knowing that my house is temporarily clean, cross country skiing in deep woods, knowing I have accomplished something in a day, being alone, being with people, getting everything on my to do list out of the way, receiving newsy Christmas cards, being part of a special group of college friends, watching the lives of my children and grandchildren as they evolve, and experiencing life--taking it as it comes. (This is a partial list.) -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

November, 2019 Nature’s Plans - Bonnie Shetler Tuesday, November 26, 2019. I had a schedule for today - people to see, groceries to buy, things to do in town. But this was the view out the front windows when I walked into the living room early this morning. It contained a message from Mother Nature - "I am in charge here. So grab your book, put your feet up, forget about your plans, relax, and just be with me for a while. Try it. You'll like it" OK. Sounds like a plan to me. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

October 2019 What did you say? - Kirsten Hartman Recently I was at a social gathering with my husband. We were trying to talk with a friend but the background noise of others made it almost impossible for my husband to hear. He put his hands by his ears to indicate hearing issue. The conversation instantly changed as the other person also admitted they had on hearing aids! Both people then started playing with their volume control to see if that would make the conversation easier, while I innocently sat near-by and listened to the buzz of the aids being turned up too much. Truth be told, I know I will soon be also joining this elite group! I don’t dread the devices, but I sure dread changing those itty, bitty tiny batteries! -⨑⨑⨑⨑13

E-Bikes - A New Era. - Bonnie Shetler

My husband and I recently purchased e-bikes. This after we poked fun of our younger friends who purchased 2 of them ahead of us. “What, now you are too old to pedal?” we chided.Then we thought about it. Those hills we no longer climb because it’s just too hard to get to the top or those distances that take too long to cover. We love to bike but we have lost interest in pushing our limits. One too rigorous morning ride can set you off your feet for the rest of the day. Since that purchase I have encountered two other couples, close to my age, who have also recently bought e-bikes. There is an epidemic emerging out there. And I get it. My husband and I have biked for many years and had begun to lament the limitations imposed by aging bodies and declining stamina. Now a whole new experience has presented itself. We have twice ridden to the top of the mountain behind our home, a total elevation gain of 1300 feet, with no problem. This morning I took a lovely 20 mile bike ride along our hilly country road, pedaling at a pace I could choose regardless of the terrain. It was great fun! If only technology can stay abreast of my increasing limitations, aging might not be such an uphill climb as I had anticipated. -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

September 2019

Joys of Hiking - Melisse Anderson

Last weekend we decided to get our hiking legs back in shape after a lazy month along the shores of Lake Michigan. We headed to one of our favorite trails to the ridge near Meadow Mt. (RMNP). We arrived by 6:30 a.m. to beat the heat, 90 degrees that day. The goal was to take in the beautiful views from the ridge above, about 2500' elevation gain (7 mi. round trip). Successfully we snagged a parking spot and with hiking sticks in hand, we started up into the quiet forest enjoying the peaceful morning. No conversation, just moving at a nice steady pace, watching where our feet were landing so we could return without any new tweaks to the joints. Then somewhere along the rocky, steep part, we were reminded of what we uttered 2 yrs ago, “we're never doing this hike again!” (Main reason is that going down is so hard on the knees.) What were we thinking? However we kept on, becoming distracted with the last of the wildflowers, especially the deep blue bottled gentian.

Hiking those last steps to the ridge was exhilarating, especially when the chilly wind hit us full blast. Wrapped up in my jacket and sitting on a rock, the panoramic views into Wild Basin and over to Longs Peak made it all worth it. It was glorious, lots of pictures were taken, but we still said, “Beautiful, but this IS our last time!” Well, maybe. -⨑⨑⨑⨑July 2019

Tale of a techno idiot - Libby James I have officially joined the ranks of the severely technologically challenged. In the last week I have acquired a new television set, a Nook reader and last but not least, a new wireless printer. I’ve never felt more stressed. I think I finally have the TV set so that I can turn it on and watch PBS—that’s all I really want to do. The Nook awaits my attention while I hassle with getting this “easy connections” printer to actually print. The place where I bought it promised an easy set up—perhaps so for some—but not for me. I spent most of last night tossing and turning and trying to figure out what to do next. I’m closer than I was yesterday, but it’s going to drive me crazy until I figure out how to print something. I’m off to run. Maybe that will help! -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

What a Beautiful Morning - Bonnie Shetler

Woke up this morning around 6:30. My husband Terry was already up and about. Because of the expected heat of the day he had opened up every door and window to let in the cool morning breezes. We live where the nearest neighbor is a quarter mile away so that at 6:30 on a Saturday morning the only sounds are birdsongs and the soft whisper of pine trees. The low rising sun light shining through the house is exquisite. It does not get any better than this. -⨑⨑⨑⨑April 2019

The Problem with our Stuff - Jesse Kerchenfaut Many of my friends have a big problem at this stage of life We have far too much stuff and we need to get rid of it. But who wants it? Does it bring us joy? Does it weigh us down? Our kids do not want much, if any, of it. They have a lot of stuff, too. After the Marie Kondo show I guess the thrift stores were overwhelmed by people getting rid of stuff! I even heard 17

that our used clothing is not welcome in the developing world these days. I do not have heirs. And some of my stuff has value so I want it to go to someone who really cares about that. But it is really hard to let it go. I plan to work on it soon, but I am not sure how it will go. -⨑⨑⨑⨑March 2019

Some Zzzzzs Please! - Cheryl Noble My doctor diagnosed chronic insomnia and prescribed Ambien, which I took for 10 years but still woke up. Two months ago I kicked the medication cold turkey (what was I thinking?). Friends and family offer advice. "Try this, take that." And I have. Melatonin (including time release), serotonin, 5-HTP, GABA, CBD, Benadryl, Valerian, magnesium, LTryptophan, sleep cocktails, more CBD, adrenal support, exercise, meditation, white noise. I could fall asleep listing all the potions that promise but don't deliver. While my dog prefers sleeping on the bed, she has no problem dozing off on the floor. It's not fair. I fall asleep quickly and soundly, but can't fall back asleep after my 1:30 rise and shine. "Older adults need to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep at night to maintain optimum health," says my medical team. Good thing I don't know Karate. For those of you who have the gift of sleep, I envy you. -⨑⨑⨑⨑18

January 2019

Tote Bags - Jane Everham Tote Bags. I guess tote bags have replaced coffee mugs as everyone’s favorite give-away. I have a tote from the LWV, The New Yorker, my church, a local bookstore, a local liquor store, the local FM radio station, three grocery stores (in addition to having a reusable bag for each), the Sanctuary movement, decorative totes, homemade ones from friends, even one for beer growlers! So many totes, so little filling. Dealing with papers and filing has always been a nightmare for me, and too much organization is never a good thing. Whenever I file documents away for “safe keeping,” I do such a good job that even I can’t find them again. Piles work better for me. Could totes be just hidden piles? Would it work, categorizing the bags to hold my various notes and materials? I see myself sorting through bags to find what I’m looking for, assuming I stuck things in the right bag . . . are you getting the picture? Anyone need a tote? -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

Prayer for the Chronologically Gifted - Libby James I found this in the process of cleaning out some files. Since the author is a 17th century anonymous nun, I figured she wouldn’t mind if I shared it. Lord, you know better than I know myself that I am growing older and will someday be old. Keep me from the fatal habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion. Relieve me from craving to straighten out everybody’s affairs. Make me thoughtful but not moody; helpful but not bossy. With my vast store of 19

wisdom it seems a pity not to use it at all, but you know that I want a few friends at the end. Keep my mind free from the recital of endless details, give me wings to get to the point. Seal my lips on my aches and pains. They are increasing and love of rehearsing them is becoming sweeter as the years go by. I dare not ask for enough grace to enjoy the tales of others’ pain, but help me to endure them with patience. I dare not ask for an improved memory that seems to clash with the memories of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that occasionally I may be mistaken. Keep me reasonably sweet. I do not want to be a saint. Some of them are so hard to live with but a sour old person is one of the crowning works of the devil. Give me the ability to see good things in unexpected places and talents in unexpected people, and give me, Lord, the grace to tell them so. -⨑⨑⨑⨑November 2018

Morning Wake up - Jesse Kerchenfaut The way I start my day is: SLOW. S-L-OW. I just can' t rush around any more. I get up early, pour a cup of coffee and head for the couch. There is a great view of the Rockies from my picture window and I love to sit there watching as the sun lights up Long's Peak. Sipping my coffee, looking at the beautiful mountains, feeling peaceful. After about an hour or so, most of my aches are gone and my mind is clear. Then I am ready to begin the day. I like taking it SLOW. Is it just me, or is this a part of getting old? -⨑⨑⨑⨑20

When Showing Our True Colors - Kirsten Hartman

In the fall when days grow short, when less sun shines on orbiting earth, then leaves’ chlorophyll dies, thereby showing their hidden colors. In life’s autumn, when our days grow short, when our turns round the sun go dearth, then the green takes leave, thereby showing our true colors. from “A Rich Spirituality” via https//www.richjane1999.net. By Rich Thompson -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

October 2018 “It’s like Dr. Seuss for Old People” - Kristy Wygmans

Grey in my 30’s, how can that be? A friend exclaimed, “But that’s your choice!” And she’s right, I choose to be me. My mother said, “It must be a Colorado thing.” And maybe it is. Natural and delicate, like a dragon fly’s wing. A silver tiara shining with Colorado’s 310 days of sun. A badge of honor for another year won Strangers stopping me with praise at first, “It’s so... well dispersed.” Others with brows furrowed a bit, “Clearly, that can’t be natural, can it?” I don’t want your pity. My friend was right you see. This IS a choice, to live my life full of authenticity. “You are too young to let yourself go grey. It’s a disservice to your beauty,” they say. But I disagree, these glittery locks pave the way to living life every day. Growing older is a gift not given to many. And this hair, it isn’t worth but a penny. But to me, the value is beyond compare, for these silver strands prove I’ve shown up, lived life, and cared. Last I checked, this hair on my head is mine. If I choose grey, that should be fine. My husband has never said a word. He’s either a smart man or a turd! 22

My daughter lets me know when it’s all in disarray. And she likes to point out old photos that are browner than today. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried, until I’ve hit my stride. To the end it will be, silver and grey, maybe even a little white, guiding me straight to that bright light. -⨑⨑⨑⨑Technology and Us - Bonnie Shetler

Who says we are technically challenged? How else do you find the nearest coffee shop from the Denver Civic Center? -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

September, 2018 Are You Relevant? - Melisse Anderson A friend (85) recently said to me “I just want to stay relevant.” I have been turning that word over in my mind. I would agree that it’s a goal for me, too. So, I ponder: how do I live my life? -⨑⨑⨑⨑23

August 2018 Grocery Bags - Jesse Kerchenfaut I like my grocery bags heavy. The heavier the better. I take my own bags to the store and they can handle being overloaded. Also this cuts down on the trips between car and house. Because I have white hair and wrinkles, I think the clerks think I can't handle the weight But I am strong and I consider carrying heavy bags to be a good workout. I have recently learned that not all folks of a "certain age" like heavy bags, so I am wondering how you feel about this issue? -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

Do you Want My Seat? - Kirsten Hartman

“Here Ma’am, you can have my seat”, said the young fellow on the crowded Max the late the other night. Well, I hesitated, looked at all the people standing, and with a reluctant sigh sat down. Then I went thru all the other thoughts. Thoughts such as, maybe the very overweight 24

person standing nearby could use the seat, or did I look as tired as I felt? I appreciated the tone and the way the person offered the seat to me. I almost took the seat as a way to thank the person. Then I felt “privileged” to be offered a seat. Privilege and respect can go a long way, but am I really in a privilege class? Does being a healthy, fit senior with a little grey hair make me a “privilege” person? If the bus had come to a sudden stop, if I were standing and holding a bar above me, would my arm/shoulder get more damaged than the young twenty something standing next to me? Possibly. Again with grace and gratitude, I enjoyed my Max ride!

-⨑⨑⨑⨑-

THE END -⨑⨑⨑⨑-

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Many thanks to each contributor to our Still WiseCracking blog. Our team represents a variety of thoughtful perspectives on this particular time of life which they have generously shared over the past three years. Thanks also to the Partnership for Age-Friendly Communities for underwriting this booklet and providing space on the website (pafclarimer.org/ blogs) where you can access all of these blog posts as well as postings to our monthly Graceful Aging series. Postings to Still WiseCracking are unscheduled and spontaneous. Members post when the spirit moves. If you are interested in joining the team, please contact Kirsten Hartman kirstenhartman@comcast.net or Bonnie Shetler bshetler@icloud.com.

All blog posts are submitted by local writers and Can be viewed from our website https://www.pafclarimer.org/blogs