DJ Smallz and Paul Wall shortly after landing in Kandahar, Afghanistan
KUWAIT CITY It all started calmly enough. Aside from the mandatory checkpoint at the entrance to the Kuwait City hotel, where security guards instructed me to stop filming while they popped the hood of our SUV and searched diligently near the engine area for explosives, our initial arrival into the Middle East was uneventful. Unsure what to expect after a fourteen hour flight, I was pleasantly surprised when our hotel turned out to be nothing short of a five-star luxury resort, even by spoiled-American standards. The oceanside facilities included basketball and volleyball courts, an expansive pool, a large fitness center, a fine-dining steakhouse, and an impressive breakfast buffet for only $15 Kuwaiti Dinar (we did not realize until long after departing that this converted to over $50 American dollars each). Computers in the hotel lobby with internet access were also a welcome amenity - until Paul Wall’s sidekick/DJ/road manager Cat joked on Twitter, “I’m at the [hotel] in Kuwait, come thru.” Disclosing our location was of the absolute no-no’s in the USO tour handbook. He was immediately reprimanded via email, and the lobby computers thereafter denied access to Twitter.com (“that’s okay, I still got BlackPlanet,” Cat joked), an incident which spawned plenty of conspiracy theory jokes for the remainder of the trip. Cat was also chastised by hotel staff for chewing a Mentos in the hotel lobby. During Ramadan, a 30-day Islamic holiday, visitors are asked to refrain from eating or drinking in public, which includes things like drinking water or chewing gum. The August heat was unbearable. The humidity (“wetness in the atmosphere”) in Kuwait City - or al-Kuwayt, to the locals - regularly spikes above 60% in the summertime, with temperatures reaching 118 degrees and hovering, on average, around 101. By way of comparison, the average temperature in Miami, FL in August is 85 degrees, with similar levels of humidity. Just picture yourself in Miami... lounging in a steam room, fully clothed, and you’ll have a pretty good idea of how Kuwait City feels in August. A 48 // OZONE MAG
quick tour of the premises with Paul and Cat left the three of us literally dripping with sweat in 30 seconds flat. Smallz, having put in double-time in the studio before departing the States, used the brief stopover in Kuwait to catch up on some much-needed rest. “I asked them at the front desk if they had jet skis, and they looked at me crazy,” Paul laughed, surveying the beach. “Now I see why. This water is like Galveston [TX] water.” Although the roar of the waves at night could easily transport you mentally to South Beach, by daylight the Kuwaiti surf bore no resemblance to the clear blue water of popular tourist destinations in Florida or the Caribbean. Over breakfast, Paul reminisced on his previous USO trip to Iraq. He’d been fascinated by his lodgings at Saddam Hussein’s former domain, a 500,000 square foot palace which has been under American control since 2003. “Gold plated-everything; marble floors. It’s the real deal. [Saddam’s palace] even has a manmade lake,” Paul remembered. “He had scientists genetically engineer his own fish, called Saddam Bass. Google it. They’re the size of rottweilers but they’re like piranhas. The rumor is, he used to throw people in the water to torture them or to kill them, so they wouldn’t find remains. He was like our generation’s Hitler. He was an evil person.” Further evidence of Saddam’s cruelty could be seen in one of the back corridors, added Paul. “There’s an elevator called the Bloody Hands Elevator. It’s an old elevator that used to lead down to the torture chamber. There are [bloody] handprints all over the elevator where people tried to fight their way out. It’s a little spooky.” Although Paul fully expected Afghanistan to be an enlightening trip just like Iraq, he hoped to avoid another sobering moment. On the previous return flight, he had served as an honorary pallbearer for an American casualty. “We had the honor of flying back with
Fortunately, we didn’t have to worry about encountering any Saddam Bass like Paul’s previous USO trip to Iraq
Photo: Sgt. Anger from Duluth News/ESPN.com
contributed will inspire others in the Hip Hop community to follow suit. “I’m doing my duty as a patriot for my country. My job as an entertainer is to come out here and entertain the troops. And it’s your job as the editor of a magazine to cover it,” Paul tells me. “Whatever your job is, you have an obligation to fulfill your duty. We all play a role.”