jb’s 2 cents
I
don’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or gamble, but I do have one weakness; since this is the introduction to our 4th annual sex issue, you might be able to guess what that is. Those of you who follow my editorials know that I’ve been in a bit of a magazine depression lately, but there’s nothing better than a bunch of rappers bragging on their dicks to get me back in the mood. The male ego never ceases to entertain. And many females share the same mentality, as evidenced by our always-popular groupie confessions. One rapper told me that my addiction is acceptable because I’m “ambitious as hell” and that same energy fuels my “boy craziness,” and the more I think about it, I think he’s right. There was a scientific study done recently which “proved” that people who listen to rap are more “promiscuous” than people who listen to country music. But maybe it’s the other way around. Maybe people who like to fuck are just more likely to listen to rap than country music. We all move through life at our own speed, which applies to our music, relationships, and careers.
10 Things I’m Hatin’ On (Sex Issue Edition) By Roland “Lil Duval” Powell
Disclaimer: This is really what everybody else is sayin’. I know I’m dead wrong, but I’m hating anyway.
1. Bitches That Fake Orgasm I don’t know why y’all do that. Me personally, I could care less if you nut or not. That’s yo’ business. 2. Stank Pussy Ain’t nothing worse than a stank pussy bitch. There’s absolutely no reason for it. I had this one girl that I was ‘bout to fuck but when she took her panties off her shit smelled like FLAVOR FLAAAAAV!!!! 3. Fucking All Night A bitch asked me, “Can you fuck me til the morning come?” Yes, if we start at 11:59 PM.
Webbie & I in Baton Rouge
Xtaci and I in Atlanta
4. Public Service Announcement Niggas, if you’re gonna pay for some pussy, treat it as such. Don’t be making love to the bitch and fuckin’ her butt-ass naked with no socks on like that’s your old lady. 5. A Girl Who Thinks She Can Suck Dick I dont’ know what niggas some of y’all are fuckin’ with, but I don’t need your hands on my dick. I can jack my own dick.
Yep. Fuck you!!!!!
8. Underage Girls Give up. I’m not gon’ fuck you. You’re not fooling anyone but putting “21” on your myspace page but your pics got you posing next to “Class of ‘09” signs. 9. Kinky Shit I ain’t with all that. Matter of fact, if a nigga lets you play with his booty hole, he gay. Point blank, period. 10. JB a.k.a. The 2 Cents Lady This one isn’t hate, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that I wonder who’s fuckin’ her. If you have a groupie confession on her, please email me. I want to know.
Plus, everything about the industry encourages no-strings-attached-sex because it gives you the illusion of no consequences. Nothing the next day to remind you of the night before because it’s on to the next city/ state/show/club/hotel room. No lingering, no souvenirs, no familiarity, plenty of opportunities for what-happens-here-stays-here moments. Besides, co-workers hook up on the regular in the everyday workplace, so why should the music business be any different? But don’t misinterpret this to mean that I’m fucking the whole industry; I’m not, just speaking on my observations as well as my own experiences. Benzino can scream “transvestite” on my voicemail all he wants, but real men know better. I’m hot, damn it. I fuck with men who are smarter than me, so right off top that eliminates about 99.9% of you (according to my SATs, not my ego).
6. Girls That Got A Girlfriend Niggas, be careful. I tried this shit with my bitch and now that bitch got my bitch. If you see her, tell her daddy miss her. 7. “Models” Why do you girls really think y’all can make a career off this shit? Stop telling me that’s what you do. It’s a hobby, nothing more. Are there any regular women out there anymore?
If there’s one thing that was proven in the highly entertaining Source sexual harassment trial, it’s that everyone in this game is fucking everyone else. The smart ones just don’t brag about it. It may look scandalous from the outside looking in, but to those of us who live it on a daily basis, it’s the natural result of talented, extremely motivated and charismatic individuals whose lives collide 24/7 in random and sometimes exotic locations. Even though everyone and their mama is a “rapper” now, the actual legitimate industry circle is a small one. And we’re good at what we do. We’re aggressive, driven, focused, powerful, confident, and by necessity we’ve developed enough game than the average 9-5er: all qualities which make us more attractive. We’re all chasing something, whether it’s fame, money, power, respect, or, most likely, just a little bit of excitement and escape from a mundane daily routine. Despite the glamorous appeal of the industry, this is a very lonely business, and sometimes those rare moments when you connect with someone on a personal level beyond the smoke and mirrors is what gets you through and reminds you that you are human.
Q45 & I in Tallahassee
Pimp C, Yung Joc, me, Trae, and Mad Linx in Houston
As a “good girl” (I think) who was raised with the “one day your Prince Charming will sweep you off your feet and you’ll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after” mentality, it’s taken me a while to fully grasp the fatal flaw in that mindset. Reality just doesn’t happen like that, no matter how many times you go to church. And anyway, you know what they say about preacher’s daughters. Your father told you to stay away from me and now you’re calling me daddy, indeed. Maybe I’m just not built for that life. Or did my glamorous industry job scare off Prince Charming? Who knows. - Julia Beverly, jb@ozonemag.com
UGK “The Game Belongs To Me” David Banner f/ Tupac and Snoop Dogg “45” Unk f/ Andre 3000 & Jim Jones “Walk It Out” remix Dre f/ Keyshia Cole “Be Somebody” Trae f/ Yung Joc “In My Hood” John Mayer “Waiting On The World To Change” Sean Paul f/ Keyshia Cole “Give It Up To Me” UGK “Hatin’ The South”
jb’splaylist Plies “Got ‘Em Hatin’” Lil Boosie “I Remember” Big Kuntry “I’m On It” Shawnna f/ Field Mob “Damn” 17