S M A R T H E A LT H By DARYL SHORTER, MD
Coping with Complex Feelings Overcome imposter syndrome by combatting your inner saboteur.
Progress is an interesting thing. For some members of the LGBTQ community, things are definitely better. LGBTQ people are out in their families of origin and have found acceptance while living authentically. Partnered or married couples have built families of their own. There are vacations and dinner parties and community volunteering and social events. At work, their co-workers appreciate their contributions to the team. Unfortunately, this is only one side of the story. For many LGBTQ folks, family is still far from a safe space, and familial relationships are characterized by rejection, abandonment, the secrecy of the closet, or an unspoken agreement to “never ask, never tell.” For others, meaningful romantic connections are fleeting and, despite a few friendships, an inner struggle with loneliness or emptiness is pervasive. At work, there may be a variety of experiences ranging from judgment to isolation to frequent microaggressions. In some cases, staying in the closet may feel like the only way to remain employed—particularly in a state like Texas, where antidiscrimination protections are not extended to LGBTQ people. Defining Imposter Syndrome Regardless of where you may land along this spectrum, we have all experienced complicated feelings about belonging. And despite the markers of progress, we live and operate within a society that sends both implicit and overt messages that we are not fully accepted. At our core, it can be hard to feel like we’re part of “something bigger” when we have still never been fully accepted. When these negative experiences frame your upbringing and your primary relationships, it can be hard to feel secure in the world—and in yourself. This lack of confidence can make one feel like an imposter or a fraud, 28 AUGUST 2021 | OutSmartMagazine.com
even in situations where you might have experience or expertise. Imposter syndrome, as it is sometimes called, can show up particularly in places related to work or community, and trigger some of our deepest insecurities and fears of not being good enough. Not only can imposter syndrome attack our sense of self, but these feelings can impact our work performance and our job satisfaction. Instead of focusing on work, battling the feeling of not truly belonging can take up much of the space in our brains and become the main thing we focus on. This feeling can be further exacerbated in those with intersectional identities, since racism, sexism, and ableism also contribute to exclusion and complicate our sense of belonging. Recently, there has been a growing move-
ment to throw off the shackles of imposter syndrome and call it what it is. The feeling that you may not belong in a particular setting may be rooted in the actual experience of being LGBTQ. Systemic homo- and trans-phobia are real forces that contribute to the perpetuation of bias and stigma within institutions. If you’re picking up on the messages that are being sent to you by your peers or supervisors, perhaps you have a heightened sensitivity and awareness of this exclusion because of past experiences. Either way, placing the burden of addressing imposter syndrome entirely on the individual misses the huge role that society and culture plays. Responding to Your Inner Imposter To combat the voices of your inner saboteur, two battles must be waged. The first
