Jan/FEB 2012
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THE NEW DADT:
Transgender Service POWER PLAYERS An Ambassador + A Pentagon Civilian Highlight the Power of Visibility
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M A G A Z I N E
JAN/FEB 2012
VOL. 1 NO. 5
OutServe Leadership Co-director Co-director DC Operations/Spokesperson Service Academies/Spokesperson Media Operations VP Global Development
Josh Seefried (J.D. Smith) Ty Walrod Jonathan Hopkins Katie Miller Sue Fulton Thomas Nibbio
OutServe Magazine Executive Editor Managing Editor Operations/Art Director Copy/Web Editor Associate Editor Associate Editor Social Media Head of Distribution Contributor Contributor
Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger David Small Neal Simspon Liza Swart Caleb Sutton, John Tegeler, Shannon Ouimet, Justin Detroit William Britton Kody Parsons Luis Gutierrez
Partner with US
Editorial Board Jonathan Mills Eddy Sweeney Angelina Leger Dr. Nathaniel Frank M. S. David Small
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OutServe Magazine is an initiative founded and operated solely by non-Department of Defense affiliates. While Magazine content is managed primarily by actively serving military professionals, the articles, advertisements, and artwork in this publication do not reflect the opinions or official position of the Department of Defense or the United States Government. ISSN 2161-3370 (Print version) ISSN 2161-3389 (Online version)
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editors’ corner DAVID SMALL PHOTO: Simon Howden
Dear Readers, Producing this magazine has been an incredible journey for OutServe as we’ve become a vocal resource for out, serving people in the armed forces. With each edition, we keep growing, and this month is yet another milestone. Among all of this month’s content, one article grabbed me by the collar and shook me awake to an issue many don’t even know exists. OutServe Board member Katie Miller exposes, for possibly the first time in print anywhere, experiences of transgender service members. With LGB people now able to serve openly, there is still a group of people in our community who cannot. The transgender struggle for open service faces different challenges than ours did and this article sheds light on this secretive problem. But the reason I was given the editorial column this month is to tell you about OutServe Magazine’s new blog, for which I’ve been appointed editor. To quench your desire for more content from us on our shoestring budget (donations accepted), we at OutServe Magazine launched a blog in conjunction with this issue. The blog will fill the gap between our bi-monthly publications, providing you fresh perspectives from a diverse crop of newly-commissioned bloggers. Here is a sample of recent posts to entice you to click over and start a conversation with us: Kristen Kavanaugh talks about being a part of the team no matter what role you provide. “ ... The sniper and this new generation of female warriors have given me a new perspective for the New Year. No matter your job, your gender, or your sexual orientation, if you serve with passion and can walk away at the end of each day knowing that you have given it your all, you have directly contributed to making our Armed Forces the most powerful fighting force in the world.” Neal Simpson highlights the last bastion of acceptance to repeal within the ranks. “ ... While the willpower of their senior commanders and the general apathy or acceptance of their subordinate service members mitigate their resistance somewhat, the impact of toxic opinions and actions arising from members in this group will continue to have a lasting effect on the morale, welfare and discipline of the force.” Read their full comments online at www.outservemag.com/the-blog. If you have a strong, obdurate voice on topics pertinent to our audience, are a good writer, and can provide a diverse perspective, please e-mail me at dsmall@outserve.org. Happy reading, David Small Associate Editor
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M A G A Z I N E
THE NEW DADT: Transgender Service
7 SUICIDE: SIGNS + KEYS
14
CONTENTS JAN/FEB 2012
VOL. 1 NO. 5
ASK SARGE......................................6 Need advice? Sarge is here to tackle those tough issues.
THE NEW “DON’T ASK, DON’T TELL”........... 7 The Military’s Ban on Transgender Service
GET FIT.......................................... 11 Your New Year’s resolution: Turn Up the Sexy! (And Pass That Fitness Test)
SUICIDE......................................... 14 Signs and Keys to Prevention in the LGBT Military Community
NEW ORLEANS
POWER PLAYERS.........................18
26
Sometimes the Real Power is Visibility
LET’S GO!......................................26 Crank the Jazz & Grab Your Beads
WAR JOURNAL.............................32
WAR JOURNAL
32
Stories from the Battlefield
SERVICE ACADEMIES LEAD REPEAL................................34 Equality Begins Here
COMMANDER’S LOG..................36 Repeal: From a Leader’s Perspective
On the Cover: U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Chad Runge
askSarge Dear Reader, I have served in the Air Force as a Mental Health Technician for the past four years, and as a substance abuse counselor for the last two. Experience has shown me that most who come into the clinic simply need to be reminded about the basic fundamentals of life, like problems sleeping, communication issues, and adjusting to the military lifestyle. There are many other unique problems out there, and I would love the opportunity to help address them. Visit my Facebook page at www.facebook.com/dearsergeant and post a question that you’d like to see answered here. Sincerely, Sergeant
Both of you should take the time and space you need to focus on yourselves. Regardless of the reasoning, everyone needs a little time to reset every once in a while. Denying either of you that can, sometimes, do more harm than good to the relationship. Finally, while I am sure that you were probably given plenty of resources and possibly even referred to an aftercare program, here are some other resources: • Depending on your location, you can find a local listing of AA or NA meetings online. • Active duty members can follow up with any Mental Health or Substance Abuse Program on their installations. • All TriCare beneficiaries can log onto www.tricare.com and find a list of all approved treatment facilities in their areas.
Dear Sergeant, I recently got out of rehab for a drug addiction I’ve been battling for over a year now. My boyfriend has been more than supportive during and after the process, but now he wants to take time apart to get himself together. I totally understand because he’s never lived on his own, always relied on others, and doesn’t feel like he’s yet a man. But I love him and want him to know he’s man enough for me, while giving him his space and time apart as he requested. What can I do or should I do? – Addicted to Love Dear AtL, As someone who has worked as a substance abuse counselor, I understand how important your support system is to your recovery. Those loved ones become such a staple in your life, especially in these early stages after treatment. It is important that you continue to focus on yourself during this crucial time to ensure you stay on the right path toward recovery. As someone who was in a two-year relationship with an addict, the amount of support that goes into helping someone recover from an addiction is pretty significant. If your boyfriend is saying that he needs some space and time, you should afford him what he wants for two reasons: first, you should really take this time to focus on yourself, and second, a relationship is about give and take. It is possible that giving him what he wants right now may actually allow him to continue to support you in the future.
I hope that this helped, and congratulations on your sobriety! I wish you the best.
vider is often invaluable in helping them cope with the stresses they are experiencing. These resources provide a safe environment to both identify their perceived prejudices, and also develop a plan to address these issues. I hope that this helps you and your friends in your quest for acceptance and equality. Sergeant
Dear Sergeant, I was discharged from the Navy during the Vietnam War in Sept. 1967 for being gay. Originally, I received a Good Conduct discharge; however, seven months afterward, my discharge classification was changed to a Misfit Discharge. In 1983, I was able to upgrade my classification to an Honorable Discharge, but I was stripped of all medals that I had earned during my service. Do you know of a way to reinstate them?
Sergeant
– Dishonored Veteran
Dear Sergeant, I am serving on active duty in the Air Force and recently decided to come out to my family, friends, and coworkers. The DADT policy repeal inspired me to finally be honest with myself and others about my true identity. I have friends who are actively serving as well and are afraid to come out due to the pressure from work to stay closeted. How do you suggest they come out in this post-repeal environment? – Jacob Dear Jacob, Coming out in the post-repeal military is still a delicate process. There are many factors that need to be considered. In addition to the various emotional aspects of the coming out process, many LGBT members find that they are unsure how their current support network will respond. If your friends are having trouble finding their voices in their work centers, whether it is due to a perception of judgment or specific statements made by their co-workers and commanders, they should be aware of available resources and support. OutServe provides a very strong network of individuals from all different backgrounds, service branches and ranks. Your friends can find strength and solace in the company of others struggling with similar issues. Also, a chaplain, First Sergeant or mentalhealth pro-
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Dear DV, To answer this question, I turned to my friends at Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN) for guidance. I would imagine that you utilized the Board of Corrections for Naval Records (BCNR) to upgrade your discharge classification. It is also recommended that you contact the BCNR to request reinstatement of your medals. According to the governing statute of these boards, “a military department may correct any military record ... when the Secretary considers it necessary to correct an error or remove an injustice.” I suggest you contact SLDN for free assistance with your specific request. You can reach them at 1-800-538-7418 or legal@sldn.org. You can also visit them online at www.sldn.org – they’d be happy to assist you in this matter. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors! Sergeant
Kody Parsons is an OutServe Magazine and active duty since 2007. you’d like to submit to dearsgt@outserve.org
advice columnist for has been serving on If you have a question him, e-mail Parsons at
This column serves as a way for members to seek advice from their peers, and in no way does the columnist's opinions replace professional medical advice. Anyone struggling with medical or personal issues is encouraged to seek professional help from a military chaplain, Family Support Center, or a medical health facility.
OutServe interviews transgender service members, veterans, and political advocates
T
hough OutServe boasts an impressive 51 regional chapters, a handful of chapters remain hidden from the public eye. One of most underground of these chapters contains a modest 44 members. Like most chapters, they post videos, share website links, and engage in friendly banter. But they are different. Comprising just less than one percent of the network, they are OutServe’s transgender membership.
By Katie Miller, OutServe Board of Directors The repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) means that gays and lesbians can serve openly in the military without fear of discharge. However, the ban on transgender service remains intact. Gender Identity Disorder (GID) is considered a mental disorder by the American Psychological Association, and the military considers it a medically disqualifying
condition. Not only are transgender individuals who wish to join the military prohibited from doing so, but those already serving honorably in the Armed Forces can be ousted if suspected to be transgender or found cross-dressing. As the LGBT movement, both military and civilian, has zeroed in on the marriage and partner benefits issues, transgender service members still find themselves living under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” conditions many of us thought no longer existed. They strug-
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theIssue gle every day to pass as their biological sex and risk losing their careers if they are outed, despite the impressiveness of their service records. This past month, I had the opportunity to hear from four transgender service members and two veterans affiliated with OutServe Trans. Three are transitioning from male to female (MTF), and three from female to male (FTM). They are serving in the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Army National Guard. Four are enlisted and two are officers and West Point graduates, a company commander and former Special Forces officer, respectively. Names have been changed in order to protect the identities of the interview participants. Pronouns refer to the sex the respondents identify with, not the biological sex. For example, someone transitioning from male to female is referred to by a female name and using the pronouns “she” and “her.”
“For many of these service members, my interview was the first opportunity for them to share their experiences publicly.” Although I observed several commonalities across the testimonies, the experiences of those I interviewed cannot be lumped into a single narrative. I will certainly come up short in my effort to convey the complexity of their stories, but I hope that this article will at least disprove attempts to portray trans people as disturbed, ill and unfit for military service.
The issue is dynamic and variant and cannot be reduced to a single narrative and certainly not a single policy. For many of these service members, my interview was the first opportunity for them to share their experiences publicly. Their courage, honesty, and everlasting sense of duty to their country were nothing short of inspirational. I am honored to share some of their stories with the OutServe Magazine readership.
Coming to Terms Although most of the service members interviewed remember feeling as if there was something different about them from a young age, some did not begin identifying as transgender per se until later in their lives. Dave, an FTM active-duty Marine, recalled, “I was doing school shopping with my mom, and she said, ‘You have to start wearing a bra.’ And I was really upset about that. That meant that I couldn’t be a little boy anymore. I was becoming a woman.” When asked whether he identified as trans at that point, he responded, “At that age, I didn’t even know it was possible to have that.” Dave became aware of the existence of transgender people before enlisting in the military, but noted the unexplainable self-loathing he endured as his body feminized against his will until that point. In contrast, Jessica had deemed herself transgender when browsing the Internet in middle school, which gave her a sense of comfort. “Just knowing that, what I was and that there were other people out there like me, made me able to focus on other parts of my life,” the MTF Marine veteran told OutServe. Dan, who is actively serving in the Navy, came to terms with himself much later in life. “I’ve always kind of known, but I never had a word for it. I identified as a butch lesbian for a while, but even as a
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lesbian I looked uncomfortable, often slouching over to hide my chest.” Ironically, deployments helped Dan better understand himself.“ In Bahrain and Dubai, the men would often mistake me as male. And I didn’t feel the need to correct them. I loved being called ‘Sir.’ That’s when I knew.” Still, others began identifying even later in life. Laura, an MTF Army officer, continued to struggle through her situation during West Point and long after. She felt, “I knew what I was, but still tried to cure myself. And the best way to hide or cure myself was to get married, and maybe time, love, or parenthood would make me better.” Accordingly, she married a woman, had children, and had a flourishing military career in the Special Forces, and later, the Medical Corps. It was not until her children were grown and she and her wife had grown apart that she could no longer deny her feelings.
Passing in the Military Despite identifying as gay, lesbian, or transgender by the time they were of enlistment age, these service members joined the military for the same reasons as everyone else. Several had close family members who were in the military; those from small hometowns wanted to gain more worldly experiences, and some were simply looking for a challenge. However, it was readily apparent that every one of them had an intense desire to serve their country. Once in the military, two of the MTF service members reported that they had “passed” with relative ease. Both Jessica and Amy—who is about to take command of an Army company—had adjusted well to military life, though they struggled at times. Jessica explained, “I just didn’t really think about it. Nobody ever knew or suspected. I was focused on training or
my deployment and didn’t have time to think about [being transgender] until I laid down on my rack for the night. That was always the hardest. And seeing females walking around, doing their jobs, being Marines, that was a ‘trigger’ for me.” Similarly, Amy fell into a routine at West Point and passed as male without suspicion. But when in the presence of female cadets in civilian clothes, she became upset that she “just couldn’t look the same.” The FTM service members I spoke to were able to pass without any concerted effort to act like their biological sex, but for different reasons. Dan pointed out, “I’m just seen as a lesbian, so they don’t say anything.” Because masculinity in women is more acceptable than expressed femininity in men in a military environment, Dan knew he had more liberty to express his gender identity than a trans woman might.
Finding Community While a cadet, Amy was able to reach out to a regional group for trans-women (MTF) in the area. Similarly, Jessica could find community with groups on the Internet. Unfortunately, the two noted that they were just not the same type of trans. The underlying anti-war sentiment of civilian trans groups served as a barrier for Jessica and Amy. In the military, they were forced to hide being trans; in the civilian world, they were often shamed of their affiliation with the military. FTM service members experienced similar divide. At a lesbian bar off post, the owner told Dan he was not welcome. “She told me ‘you see yourself as a boy and this is an epidemic that is taking away our butch lesbian women.’” Although chuckling about the audacity in retrospect, “It was still hurtful.” To some, women transitioning to men represented a betrayal of the lesbian community.
Transitioning
“I’ve always kind of known, but I never had a word for it.” But not all of the people I interviewed had wanted to find others like them. Laura made a deliberate effort to distance herself from cadets rumored to be gay or lesbian. “It scared me. I had to stay away.” Amy eventually confided that she was MTF to the lesbians she met while at the academy, similar to many FTMs who were generally assumed to be lesbians. Dan and David were actually able to find other trans-people in the military as well, though only one or two. For many, joining the OutServe Trans chapter was the first time they had met other trans service members, especially FTM. (The demographics of the OutServe Trans group could indicate there are significantly more FTM than MTF military personnel. David commented, “I would be in a lot worse shape than I am now without OutServe Trans. People actually understand what I’m talking about. It’s good to see other people out there doing well, and it lets other people know they can do it too.” OutServe Trans has been an opportunity to merge two identities mutually incompatible elsewhere.
The decision to begin transitioning— taking hormones and/or undergoing gender reassignment surgery—was largely affected by the biological sex of each of the interviewees. Those transitioning from male to female felt obligated to wait until leaving the service. Jessica noted that her upper body strength has decreased dramatically since starting hormones four months ago. If she had started estrogen while still a Marine, “the chances of not passing [as male] would have gone up” even though she is confident she could still meet the physical standards. About to take company command, Amy also commented, “I have to put my professional life first. If I’m going to lead soldiers, I have to be in the best physical shape possible. I could have started hormones if I wanted, but I don’t want to compromise my profession.” For most transgender people, starting hormones requires going to a therapist who will confirm that an individual has Gender Identity Disorder and will authorize the prescription. Because a GID diagnosis automatically warrants a medical discharge, service members either pay to see a civilian therapist, unbeknown to the military, or begin taking hormones without the consent of a therapist. For FTM service members, the latter is not uncommon. David began T-Bomb (a brand of testosterone) while deployed to Japan. After a tour in Afghanistan, where testosterone was inaccessible, he returned to the states and resumed the hormone. He started injections four months ago, and his transition has gone unnoticed in the Marine Corps. Although he recognizes that FTMs are less likely to arouse suspicion, he must still proceed with caution. “My voice has gotten lower, hair is starting to grow, and I have to shave my upper lip sometimes.
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theIssue But I’m black, which means that once I start shaving every day I’ll get razor burn. Then someone has to say something.” According to the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, it should be noted that a service member does not have to begin physically transitioning to be deemed unfit for the military and discharged. The mere act of identifying as transgender, thereby possessing a disqualifying medical condition, justifies the separation. Bryan, an Army National Guardsman who has been involved in trans activism, explained, “To be trans, you don’t have to want surgery or to have had surgery. Plenty of people just identify outside the gender binary.” However, the GID disqualification does not make this distinction.
The Politics, the DSM, and the Potential for Progress Several service members believe that GID must be removed from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders before the military will consider lifting the ban on transgender service. Unlike DADT, the military is solely responsible for determining the medical and psychological barriers to service, so it would not take an act of Congress to repeal the ban. Bryan articulated, “I don’t think you can convince top brass without the American Psychological Association acting first. As long as being trans is considered a mental disorder, then it’s hard to believe they would go against that.” Bryan also explained why removing GID from the DSM could cause controversy within the civilian transgender community; a GID diagnosis allows a trans person to have hormones paid for by health insurance. Without it, expenses would be out of pocket. “I can see why many people would be upset with that.” Mara Keisling, the executive director for the National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE), disagrees that the DSM must be the first step in repealing the
“I would be in a lot worse shape than I am now without OutServe Trans. People actually understand what I’m talking about.” ban. She points to the issuance of medical waivers for other mental disorders, such as anxiety and depression. “There is no reason why the military cannot use objective, rational criteria to determine if a trans person is fit to serve. The range of trans people is huge. Some people may have already transitioned entirely by the time they want to serve. Some people may identify as trans but have no desire to physically transition. But they’re still not allowed to serve because the disqualification is condition-based, not dependent upon the individual.” Bryan also drew attention to several steps the military could take before repealing the ban entirely. For Bryan, wearing his biological sex-appropriate Class A’s presents a problem. Comprised of a skirt and pumps, the uniform is overtly feminine. “If we’re going to start breaking down gender boundaries, we can start small and begin with uniforms.” He also believes repeal of the combat exclusion policy, which prohibits women from serving in the infantry and other combat arms, would be a step in the right direction. Having served alongside many female Marines, David agreed. The concept of female weakness adversely affects both women who want to enter the combat arms and trans women who wish to remain in the military. Keisling and Bryan also pointed to the progress several government agencies
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have made this past year in transgender equality, most notably the Department of Veterans Affairs. Due in large part to the work of Keisling and the NCTE, the VA now offers therapy and hormone treatment to trans veterans. The VA must also refer to a patient by his or her preferred name and gender pronouns, regardless if their birth certificates have been changed to reflect these changes. Keisling said, “the military is falling behind,” when it comes to their trans policies. Much like “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” the very people affected by the transgender exclusion policy are unable to speak out about it without getting discharged. The military and the American public are largely unaware that not only are trans people capable of serving in the military, but they are already doing so. Bryan and Keisling both saw the necessity of trans service members telling their stories in order to educate the public and change opinions.
Why Trans Service Matters All the service members with whom I spoke were either considering or had already made the decision to leave the military. All of them cited their desire to transition as a major factor. Despite their honorable service and inspirational sense of duty, sacrificing their identities was an unsustainable pursuit. Jessica confided, “Sometimes I get teary thinking about never being a Marine again. I want to be in for my entire career. I want to retire as a first sergeant or, hell, maybe even a sergeant major one day. I’m not done yet.”
Please contact KatieMiller@OutServe.org for media inquiries.
U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Adam M. Bennett
bodywatch
Healthier You
By Luis Gutierrez
January is here and many of us are making New Year’s resolutions. Many resolutions regard increased fitness levels, weight loss, or both. For service members, a healthy, fit body is essential. No rank or age is exempt from the rigorous demands of combat, and no full-duty service member is exempt from the physical fitness test. As you set your New Year’s resolutions for 2012, here are some tips to keep you healthy and fit. 1. Drink like a fish. Pass up the tequila bottle and grab a water bottle. Think back to basic training. Remember the long days, restless nights and lack of food? Despite that, you had energy to train all day and into the night. This is due primarily to water consumed during training. Water is the single most important component of a healthy body. It makes up 75 percent of your muscle mass. The average person needs to drink approximately three liters of water per day (according to the Mayo Clinic). As you work out, you need to replace the water you lose. 2. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. Well, protein shake, actually. Protein is the most important nutrient needed for muscle growth. A good rule of thumb is 0.5 grams of protein per pound of body weight, so a 180-lb person requires 90 grams of protein per day to maintain current muscle mass. For those trying to gain muscle, one gram of protein per pound of body mass is generally recommended. People do not absorb all proteins equally, however. Red meat has a 60 percent approximate absorption rate, while a high-quality whey protein isolate has a 90 percent approximate absorption rate. This is why protein shakes are so important: high absorption, low waste, more bang for your protein buck. 3. Go nuts. Nuts are one of the most poorly understood health foods out there today. Nuts provide a great source of healthy fat, necessary for helping your body metabolize and process food. They are also a good source of vegetable protein. Additionally, nuts help the body maintain healthy levels of testosterone, which helps to build muscle and maintain a healthy libido. Testosterone is a cholesterol-based chemical, so these benefits exist in all nuts, regardless of type or size. Nuts are best consumed between meals by themselves, or when combined with a protein shake. jan/Feb 2012
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bodywatch 4. Open wide. Don’t starve yourself ... it isn’t worth it and it doesn’t work. Remember, your body is really smart, and when you deprive it of food, it can go into hibernation mode, lowering your metabolic rate and decreasing the number of calories you burn. Eliminating whole food groups or types from your diet is equally as dangerous as starvation. Completely cutting out carbohydrates, fats, sugars or other types of calories can be harmful to your body and can actual make dieting harder. Your body is designed to work on a balanced mix of fuels, and requires a blend of protein, carbohydrates and fats, as well as the nutrients and vitamins found naturally in a large variety of foods. Eating a balanced diet with fewer calories consumed than burned is always the healthiest and most effective way to lose weight. Get off the computer or video game. Instead of adding new armor to your character or more friends to your profile, imagine adding an inch to your biceps or losing an inch from your waist. Just a few hours in the gym every day yields noticeable results. It may take weeks or months to get to your goal, but the increased energy and selfconfidence from a regular workout routine has a multiplying effect, and you won’t regret your decision.
Dumbbell full-body workout Whether you are new to the gym or a seasoned gym rat looking for a change in routine, try this full-body workout for a month to jump start your fitness.
4 – 5 Sets of 6 – 10 Reps
Dumbbell lunge
Stand with the dumbbells at your sides, then lunge forward with one leg, making sure that your knee doesn’t go forward of your toes. Return to the standing position and then repeat with the other leg. Primary muscle: Quadriceps Secondary: Glutes and Hamstrings
Shrugs
3 – 5 Sets of 6 – 8 Reps
Hold dumbbells at your sides. Elevate your shoulders as high as possible, hold for a single count and return to the starting position Primary muscle: Traps
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4 – 5 Sets of 6 – 10 Reps
Incline dumbbell press
Sitting on an incline bench, place the dumbbells inside your lower thighs. Use your legs to push the dumbbells back to the shoulder level, and when you have a good balance, press the dumbbells up until your arms are fully extended. Slowly lower back to shoulder level and repeat. Primary muscle: Pectorals Secondary: Triceps and Deltoids
4 – 5 Sets of 6 – 10 Reps
Alternating hammer curls
3 – 5 Sets of 8 – 10 Reps
Seated triceps press
Sit on a 90-degree bench with a single dumbbell. Bring the dumbbell over your head with your elbows slightly bent (the dumbbell should be resting on the palms of your hands, while your hands create a diamond). With your elbows facing forward, bring the dumbbell down behind your head, and then press back into the original position. Primary muscle: Triceps
Standing with the dumbbells at your sides, raise the right dumbbell until your thumb is pointing to the ceiling. Slowly go back to the starting position and repeat with the left arm. Primary muscle: Biceps Secondary: Deltoids and Traps
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theIssue
S ciid de: Suicide: uiic Su
Signs and Keys to Prevention in the LGBT Military Community
A
lack of suicide intervention has affected my own life deeply. When I was a sophomore in high school, one of my best friends handed me what I thought was a Christmas card. She handed them out to a bunch of our
friends. She was always very cheerful and was the kind of friend to do such things, but I did think it was a little weird when she said not to open it until that night. Curiosity got the better of me and I opened it in my French class the following period. To my shock, it was a suicide note. She thanked me for being her friend for years, and explained she was going to kill herself that afternoon. I tried to find her after class, but she had gone home early. I agonized over whether or not to call her parents or tell a teacher, but decided not to because this was probably a cry for help and she’d be mad at me. I’d just call her later and talk to her.
By CPT 2012Patrick 14 OutServeMag.com january
Twomey, M.D., U.S. Army
S
ince the end of DADT, the ability for LGB service members to unite and speak about issues openly has been refreshing and productive. These discussions have generated timely, important topics. As a doctor, I am often asked about the topic of LGBT health care, and while I am always happy to address that issue, it is extremely broad. One specific subject which comes up repeatedly, both in the media and on OutServe chat groups, is the topic of suicide. As we all know from training session after training session, suicide has become a major concern in the military over the past 10 years. Since 2001, roughly 2,300 service members have taken their own lives. This is a staggering number, considering the relative combat-related fatalities of U.S. military personnel (4,408 during the Iraq war, according to the Department of Defense). With that in mind, and coupled with the recent tragedies of LGBT youth taking their own lives after years of psychological torture by the words and actions of bullies, it doesn’t take a giant leap to conclude that LGBT service members have a higher risk of suicide than the average American. The most important point to understand is that suicide can affect anyone, and it is extremely important to recognize the signs early and get help immediately. The vast majority of suicides and suicide attempts are NOT simply mild cries for help. They are typically reactions to extreme stressors (either real or perceived) in which the person
Photograph by Vegadsl
with the suicidal thoughts fully intends to follow through. This is important to understand when your battle buddy or shipmate calls you at 11 p.m., drunk, making out-ofcharacter comments like, “I’m just tired of it all, it’s hopeless!” or “I found out my partner’s been cheating on me for several months, I just can’t live without him!” If you suspect something is wrong, it likely is. Don’t expect that your battle buddy or shipmate will just shrug it off and be fine in the morning. So, what should we as a community do to combat this problem? What can we do? Recently, there has been a substantial push to involve social networking sites. The Surgeon General of the United States and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline announced in December they will be partnering with Facebook to add a reporting page for questionable posts. In this system, people will be able to anonymously report posts suggestive of suicidal thoughts to a page. A message will immediately be sent to the person in question directing them to a hotline, or allowing them to join a live chat with a counselor for assistance. VADM Regina Benjamin and the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, as well as Facebook, should be commended for this idea, as it shows a desire to coopt new technology to help combat this issue. One important point: if you do suspect a friend of having suicidal thoughts, or they are posting unusual or concerning statements on their profile page, please make sure that you make per-
sonal contact with them in addition to contacting the appropriate help. Make contact to not only show that you care and are concerned, but also to make sure they are talking to someone until they can speak with a mental health professional. Never leave a suicidal person alone. Okay, so what are some of the warning signs to look for in a friend? How can you tell when someone is just feeling down or having a bad day, or truly contemplating suicide? In short, ask them. If they appear more depressed or hopeless about their situation, engage them in conversation and assess how they view their current position. Most of us will feel depressed about something once in a while. That’s perfectly normal. We will all experience the death of a loved one, breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend or a spouse, deployments, or moving to a new assignment away from friends and family. It would be odd if we didn’t feel bad about these situations. Take cues from how they talk about it. Listen closely to hear if they are sad, but still hold hope for the future. If they’re PCSing, do they make plans about coming back to visit or having you and others visit them? If they’re deploying, are they making plans for when they return or for a midtour leave? If they broke up with a partner, do they talk about taking time for themselves to feel better or make plans with friends to cheer them up? These are all good coping mechanisms to stressful situations and can help gauge if this is normal grieving
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or something worse. Signs which could indicate more than just normal sadness include: • Sleeping too much or too little • Excessive use of alcohol or other drugs. • Deteriorating physical appearance, personal welfare (i.e. failing a PT test/ weigh-in). • Partaking in risky activities (i.e. unprotected sex, drinking and driving). • Deteriorating work performance (perhaps you’re picking up their slack). • Giving away prized possessions. • Feelings of guilt, desperation, hopelessness, or even rage. As a friend, what should you do? The first thing to do if you suspect someone is going to hurt him/herself is to talk to them about it in a non-threatening manner. If you are near them, be with them in person. If not, call them and don’t let them off the phone. The important point is: do not leave them alone. Take them seriously! Don’t belittle or make light of their situation, though to you it might seem small or completely manageable. Call for appropriate help, even if that means 9-1-1. Suicidal thoughts must be treated like any other life-threatening situation. If you saw an intruder break into a friend’s house with a gun, would you think, “yikes, that sucks,” and hope the intruder just goes away, or would you call the police? Suicide is a permanent reaction to a temporary problem. The following are helpful hints when in this situation: • Talk directly. Listen. Do not judge. Take the threat seriously. • Do not dare them to do it. Don’t make light of the situation. • Don’t be shocked. Empathize with their situation.
• Do not swear to secrecy. If someone says they’re going to hurt themselves, get help. • Assess if they have any means of committing suicide (i.e. weapons in the house, stockpiles of pills, including over-the-counter pills, which are just as dangerous as prescription pills in large quantities), and mitigate these threats if possible. • Get help from any of the numbers or agencies provided below immediately! • If the person is in the process of hurting themselves (i.e. swallowed pills, etc.), call 9-1-1 immediately. What if you are the one hurting? What if you are the one that finds yourself in a situation where you are actually experiencing suicidal thoughts? It’s not as farfetched as it seems. Life can certainly throw curve-balls your way, and though
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Photo Courtesy: Tungphoto
many military personnel are adept at coping, humans can only endure so much on their own. The important points to understand if you find yourself in this situation are: • There are people that want to help. There are people that do care about you and want you to get better. • Talk to your friends first. Often, your friends can be the ones to make you feel better and show you ways through what you perceive to be hopeless situations. • Call the numbers provided, even if you don’t feel like talking. You can always simply listen. • Avoid alcohol! This can’t be overstated. You cannot “drink your problems away.” Alcohol takes away your inhibitions; what would ordinarily be a fleeting thought of hurting yourself in a desperate time, becomes something you act on and never take back. Think of all the times you’ve done something stupid while drunk—at least you have a chance to apologize the next day. Suicide is final. If you are feeling depressed, do not drink! • Utilize your medical services. We really want to help you. I have met many good people in my years as a medical corps officer and physician. In addition to physicians and psychiatrists, the clinical psychology program is a tremendous organization of professionals with a wide breadth of experience who are trained to help you as well. One important thing I would like to convey and have seen in practice is that the stigma of seeking help for these issues has been dramatically reduced. Our primary goal is your health and safety, so please don’t be ashamed to talk. • Utilize your chaplaincy. Despite what is appearing in the media about some
When I got home from school that day, I tried calling my friend–she didn’t pick up. I got a little nervous. I ended up swallowing my pride and called her mom. Sure enough, she had taken a whole bottle of sleeping pills and was taken to the hospital. She survived. She was not happy with me immediately after this event, and we really didn’t speak much through college. We re-connected a couple years ago and I came to find out she is now married with three beautiful children and loves her life. Suicide is a permanent decision. There is no coming back. It’s never the answer. As a friend, deciding to help a friend in need is always the right decision.
Photo Courtesy: Airman 1st Class Alessandra N.
members of the chaplaincy reacting negatively about DADT ending, I have worked with some incredible chaplains in the past. Chaplains knew I was gay, and chaplains have helped LGBT service members through relationship issues just as they would our straight counterparts. Chaplains get excellent training on these matters. Don’t be afraid to talk to them. If you know for a fact that they do not approve, or you’d rather not talk to one, you can always seek a referral to speak with someone else.
Important Information to Remember: A: Ask your friend directly if they are thinking of hurting themselves. C: Care for your friend. Don’t leave them alone. Empathize with them. E: Emergency care. Call for help. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) and press 1. Online: www.VeteransCrisisLine.net Merely going to the link above does not automatically connect you to someone, so feel free to explore the site. These services are free and counselors are trained in LGBT sensitivity. Use these if you are thinking about suicide or think someone you know is.
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POWE R Personalities within the sprawling story of the gay rights movement have effectively humanized LGBT people for the American public since the Stonewall riots in 1969. With vast changes in the legal fabric of society such as Lawrence v. Texas, the Supreme Court ruling in 2003 that invalidated sodomy laws across America, followed swiftly by Massachusetts’ legalization of same sex marriage, and most recently, the repeal of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” (DADT) by Congress, history may resolve that LGBT issues were this generation’s preeminent civil rights focus. In all of these significant moments, many outsized personalities, with deeply emotional stories, have successfully navigated the turbulent back-and-forth of LGBT rights in America. These milestones would not have been possible without people such as Harvey Milk, John Lawrence, Dr. Franklin Kameny, COL Margarethe Cammermeyer, and Richard Socarides, who put not only a face, but a powerful voice behind the LGBT movement. They used their personal experiences to tell a larger story about equality. In this and future issues, OutServe Magazine will feature some of the less-talked about heroes of the movement. Some will be power players who have shared the limelight with other notable figures. Others will be unsung heroes who have made an impression in their own right behind the scenes of the movement. In this issue, we feature two very different personalities along this journey: former AmbASSADOR James C. Hormel, the first openly gay U.S. ambassador, and Mr. Lou Timmons, who worked in the Pentagon as an out, gay man for 24 years before the demise of DADT.
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PLAYERS The Ambassador By Eddy Sweeney
I
In preparation for this article, I read Ambassador Hormel’s new book, Fit to Serve, and interviewed him personally to discuss some of the issues he raises. Ambassador Hormel was gracious and eager to share his story and reflect on what it means to serve in a senior level position in the federal government while also being openly gay.
Not So Humble Beginnings Despite his lavish upbringing, Ambassador Hormel remembers always having felt “different from other little boys.” When pressed by what he meant, the Ambassador said: “[My sexuality] was awkward and uncomfortable and isolating. I wanted to be like everyone else.” His otherness did not merely center on his family’s considerable wealth, but also on his own burgeoning desires for other men—a feeling a young man in rural Minnesota in the mid-1940s could not remotely articulate. James C. Hormel, born in Austin, Minn., grew up as the son to the SPAM empire (yes that’s SPAM). He had a privileged life that often kept him separated from the small town’s other 18,000 inhabitants. His grandfather’s company, Geo. A. Hormel & Co., was the dominant business in Austin. Residing in a luxurious 26-bedroom, 25-bathroom estate, Ambassador Hormel grew up in a family that cherished hard work above all else.
“I’m really feeling gay today” In a particularly memorable scene in his book, Ambassador Hormel recounts the very last conversation he had with his father the night he died. His father had turned to him before going to bed and asked, “Jimmy, is there anything you want to talk about? Anything you want to tell me?” Ambassador Hormel thought, “His eyes reflected an air so loving and free of judgment that I felt a completely disarming sense of safety. For the instant it lasted, I basked in it … Perhaps this was the moment I was supposed to tell my father that I was gay. But how could I? I hadn’t even admitted it to myself.”
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P OWE R PLAYERS Ambassador Hormel
Asked if he could revisit that moment in time and tell his father, he responded, “No. I can say that categorically. I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Oh my God, he’s gone. He probably knew!’” Though he continued to be troubled by his sexual feelings, his desire to be “normal” outweighed any other personal prerogatives during his college years. To that end, he found love in a woman he would later marry, Alice Parker, with whom he shares five children. Despite his marriage, there were moments when Ambassador Hormel simply could not deny his feelings. He says he “had an increasingly greater need to let the feelings out, but didn’t know how to do it in a way that would not wreak nuclear havoc on my life.” With attitudes much more hostile in the early 1960’s toward
gays, the Ambassador chuckled when he thought about how he typically found others like himself. “The word ‘gay’ itself was one of them,” he said. “For example, ‘I’m really feeling gay today.’ Depending on the response someone got, there were signals that were passed. I do believe in gaydar.” “We are You!” Ambassador Hormel eventually came out to his friends and family—to almost universal acceptance—and had an amicable, albeit painful divorce with his wife. Asked what caused him to change his mind and accept his sexuality after all his previous attempts to lead what he considered a normal life, he said, “When I look back at my life, I see that from a very early age I behaved in ways that I
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“When I look back at my life, I see that from a very early age I behaved
in ways that I thought people expected of me, rather than what feels right to me.”
thought people expected of me, rather than what feels right to me. There is a huge difference there and it took me a very long time to get it.” After his separation, Ambassador Hormel eventually settled in San Francisco, where he became active in democratic political circles. By pure happenstance, his time there dovetailed with the rise of famed political icons such as Harvey Milk and David Goodstein. With them, he was instrumental in defeating Proposition 6, legislation that sought to bar gay people from teaching in California’s schools. Their victory, though short lived, taught Ambassador Hormel the necessity of creating an effective narrative and mobilizing people to fight for it. Back then, a hybrid mix of Milk’s outgoing personality, coupled with Goodstein’s persistence on maintaining respect and dignity in the movement, proved an effective approach to advocacy. “I judge [effectiveness] by how people react publicly,” he said. “Sometimes it can be amusing. The glitter attack is funny, the pie attack is less funny. I’m not sure it brings the message into focus. The message truly is: when are you going to get over your prejudices and realize that we are you? I was made by a heterosexual couple. Your police officer, your dentist, your employee, your son, your grandmother--they all could be gay. You don’t know because you’ve driven them underground.”
Ambassador James Hormel
Through the 1960s and 70s, Ambassador Hormel developed an aptitude and passion for both politics and LGBT rights. After many high profile successes and losses, it would only seem likely that his next battle would eventually take him to Washington. The Waiting Game The idea to pursue a presidential appointment seemed crazy to Ambassador Hormel in 1992. Though he donated to former President Bill Clinton’s campaign, he had done no serious campaigning. However, Ambassador Hormel decided the job he was most qualified for was an ambassadorship. In the process, he desired to see, through a Senate confirmation, 100 Senators go on the record and either affirm or disapprove the notion that a gay man could serve as a direct representative of the President of the United States. After throwing his name in the ring, Ambassador Hormel waited months to hear back from the Clinton administration. While still continuing to pursue his nomination, Ambassador Hormel became involved in a philanthropic project: the creation of a gay and lesbian center at the public library at the San Francisco Civic Center. Having contributed more than $500,000 of his own personal fortune, Ambassador Hormel’s civic efforts kept him sustained while waiting. Months went by with no new information from the Administration. Finally, in frustration, Ambassador Hormel phoned Sen. Diane Feinstein (D-Calif.) and received some sage advice: “If you really want this Jim, you’re going to have to wage your own campaign.” From that point, Ambassador Hormel took a more aggressive posture in his desire to seek a nomination. His persistence finally caught traction, with information that he was soon to be nominated as the Ambassador to Fiji.
In tandem with his burgeoning nomination to Fiji were the midterm elections of 1994, when Republicans swept both the House and the Senate. The timing could not have been worse. A few days after the election, a staffer to Sen. Jesse Helms (R-S.C.), the new chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, let it be known that Hormel’s nomination would never see the light of day. Ambassador Hormel was undeterred. An Up or Down Vote For the next three years, Ambassador Hormel became a squeaky wheel in Washington. He assiduously courted officials and successfully applied for other temporary posts such as the U.S. delegate to the UN General Assembly. Finally, the Clinton administration relented on Oct. 6, 2007—after nearly five years— nominating him to be the next Ambassador to Luxembourg. Ambassador Hormel was granted a hearing in front of the Foreign Relations Committee, where he sailed through the committee with sixteen votes in favor and two opposed. At that point, the Clinton administration assumed his ambassador appointment was all but assured. Days before the vote was to come to the full Senate, two republican senators, James Inhofe and Tim Hutchinson, placed “anonymous holds” on his nomination. They objected not to the fact that Ambassador Hormel was gay, but to what they called his “agenda.” Bipartisan supporters immediately pushed back against the hold. Ambassador Hormel scrounged 58 votes for his confirmation, two votes shy to overcome a filibuster. That December, however, the senate adjourned for the winter recess, ending any prospect of an up or down vote on Ambassador Hormel’s nomination.
The Single Most Important Thing Nearly seven years after his initial request in June, 1999, President Clinton defied congressional recalcitrance and appointed Ambassador Hormel to the post at Luxembourg in a recess appointment. With his appointment, he became the first openly gay ambassador to represent the United States abroad. Regarding his nomination experience, the Ambassador said, “I didn’t lose faith. I noticed that is the way the process works. I was disappointed primarily because I didn’t get what I really wanted—individual members of the Senate to go on the record. They were too chicken to do it.” In the closing of his book, Ambassador Hormel passionately argues “the single most important thing a gay person can do to advance the cause of equality is to come out and be out to friends, to family, and in the workplace.” Responding to LGBT people who believe sexuality is a personal matter and not something to be aired in the workplace, he said, “It is. That is the irony. It’s nobody’s business, really, except that society has made it people’s business. So the coming out process is very important.” The Ambassador’s departing message might just capture the heart and soul of the LGBT movement that has effectively battled its way through history through the individual stories, fearless leaders, and persistent recalcitrance of its people. Ambassador Hormel asks his readers to consider the notion of one being a patriot but taking a passive role in the movement. “For gay people, my answer is no. We have to be out. If not, we are complicit with the old order, the one that would have us remain invisible.”
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P OWE R PLAYERS Lou Timmons
Out in the Pentagon For 24 Years an Air Force Civilian Recalls Subtle Turning Points, Provides Advice to New Generation By David Small 1989. Lou Timmons’ former partner, Dallas Mulske, had just died of AIDS after two years of working together—neither of them overtly out of the closet—in the Secretary of the Air Force’s Office of Public Affairs at the Pentagon. “Everybody knew we were gay and that Dallas died of AIDS, but nobody talked about it. After he died, it was intolerable to not be myself. I got my ear pierced. That was my way of coming out,” said Timmons. “And I don’t remember, then, anybody saying anything about the earring. Or me.” Timmons, originally from Brooklyn, N.Y., has worked in the Pentagon since 1987, where he has seen attitudes toward gays and lesbians from the most senior ranks in the Department of Defense adjust over time, and the concept of gays serving in the mil-
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itary slowly emerge and become accepted into mainstream society. “I don’t envy the 19-year-old Marine thinking about putting a picture of his boyfriend on his bedpost in the barracks,” said Timmons. “But somebody has to be first.” His advice for that 19-year-old: “Being yourself is the way to go. It worked for me.” Timmons looks at the younger serving gays and lesbians in the military today as a transition generation. From his desk at the Pentagon, he has witnessed the transition to a world where lesbians and gays can finally serve openly. “By the time our children are our age, nobody will think twice about gays in the military,” he said. Timmons sat down with OutServe Magazine and shared pointed moments
from his memory as he watched the military slowly come to accept homosexuals in the ranks. 1979. One year after coming out to himself and working at the Patent and Trade Office, Timmons attended a small protest rally held by the recently deceased gay-rights activist, Dr. Franklin Kameny, in front of the newly built J. Edgar Hoover FBI headquarters building. The FBI had fired a clerk for being gay. “Back then, and in some sectors still today, you could be fired for just being gay. I stood on the sidelines listening to Dr. Kameny. I just observed.” Timmons told this story to illustrate the trepidation at the time for gays at work. “People were just not out back then,” he said.
1984. Dallas Mulske got a promotion out of his job working for the Air Force chief of bands, Lt Col Ray Toler, and supporting five other men as a male secretary. Mulske was somewhat effeminate, but extraordinarily efficient and effective as a secretary, Timmons said. “He was adored by everybody.” Colonel Toler asked Mulske if he had ‘a friend’ who would want his old job. Timmons interviewed and was offered the position. “Although nobody ever talked about it back then, it was clear they were more than comfortable with a homosexual in the position,” he said. “That’s how I came to the Pentagon. I wasn’t out, loud and proud then. I was circumspect. Nobody knew Dallas and I had a relationship.” In his first year in the Pentagon, Timmons, in his early 30s, felt it surreal to be gay and working around the military, but he never had any negative experiences he couldn’t deal with. “I envisioned everybody in the military as arch-conservative, homophobic Christians. I was prejudging them. And that’s what we complain about, people prejudging us! I never saw any of that on a personal level.” People respected his work as a secretary. At the time, he primarily worked with Air Force musicians. “They were a different breed, so nobody asked leading questions,” he said, thinking that his unique situation helped ease his way into the military world. He was also widely respected by his coworkers for his dedication at work. Only a year later, tragedy struck. Mulske, at age 28, got sick. “Does Dallas have AIDS?” Colonel Toler asked. “‘I’m not allowed to talk about it,’ I told him. Toler shook his head knowingly and said, thank you.”
“I started behaving like anybody else would . . . . I never made any
pronouncements.
I just began behaving naturally”
Brig Gen Michael P. McRaney, then the Air Force Director of Public Affairs, asked Timmons about the funeral arrangements. At Mulske’s funeral, hundreds of people showed up in service dress with wheel caps. “There was a sea of blue uniforms in the church,” Timmons said, describing the scene at the Seventh-Day Adventist church in Tacoma Park, Md., “It made me very proud Dallas’ mother and father would see how fondly the people Dallas worked with thought of him.” After the funeral, Timmons became increasingly frustrated with being in the closet. “It was only 20 years ago, but nobody talked about it,” he said. “Public affairs may generally be less conservative
than other parts of the military, but we were still in the Pentagon!” After Timmons showed up for work with his earring, he became more comfortable. “When the Xerox repairman would walk by and the gals would ogle, I joined them,” he said. “I started behaving like anybody else would. I was never crude. I never made any pronouncements. I just began behaving naturally.” 1991. Then something changed. Closeted military people, sometimes high ranking, started to admit their homosexuality to Timmons. At times, he was their only solstice in difficult situations. Timmons had built a professional reputation as somebody who could get things done. Now that he was out, that quality reputation carried over to people’s needs to vent about their hidden sexuality. “I didn’t have some big gay rights poster on my desk, but by then, I had stopped censoring myself and people came to me.”
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P OWE R PLAYERS Lou Timmons
1992. Timmons became bolder in his personal advocacy toward mainstream gay acceptance as the nation’s conversation began to focus on gays in the military in the run-up to President Bill Clinton’s election. One day, he noticed a sports page that a young captain had displayed on his desk of his losing team with the words “Your team was just semi homosexual” emblazoned on it by somebody else as a joke—the team apparently had played a less than honorable game. “This is offensive and insulting,” Timmons instructed the captain. “You need to understand, you can’t use gay epithets disparagingly.” Both captains involved apologized. “I felt really good after that,” he said. “That was the only time I ever had to correct somebody’s behavior and educate them on propriety.” 1993. Just prior to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” implementation, Timmons attended a retirement party for an Air Force Reserve colonel who was a lesbian. Her partner of decades flew in for the ceremony, which took place in the Secretary of the Air Force’s conference room. “Her partner was just standing in the crowd and was only acknowledged as a friend from out of town,” Timmons noted. “My heart broke for her. They had been together forever.” Shortly afterward, Timmons was heartbroken again as the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” compromise was announced. “I was so excited to see what would be announced July 15 that I even put it in
“I didn’t have some big gay rights poster on my desk, but by then, I had stopped censoring myself and people came to me . . .” my bio of the program for the play I was stage managing at the time. But when they announced it, I was very sad for my people.” 1997. Timmons made a career change. Promoted out of the secretarial pool, he found himself a certified public affairs officer and official media spokesman for the Air Force. Only once during his tenure on the press desk did he ever have to deal with a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” issue. The pilot’s name was Capt Craig Button. He inexplicably departed formation in his A-10 Thunderbolt II, loaded with munitions, and flew into an Arizona mountain range during a training mission. Officially, the Air Force deemed the incident a suicide. Media reports claimed mental turmoil over unrequited love for a former girlfriend. But the rumor mill generated gay overtones to the story that the unrequited love may have been a man. Timmons, who also dealt with the inquiries surrounding suspected homosexuality, was the press desk officer for the entire incident. “I remember having to talk to the Washington Blade [a gay newspaper] about it,” said Timmons. “I don’t know if Capt Button was gay, but it’s very sad to think of the unrecognized deaths that terrible policy probably caused.” 2004. Nearly 10 years later, things had drastically changed in society, but meeting gays in the military was still a new experience for Timmons. It just didn’t happen for him. While he was out at work, his gay social outlets were through local theater.
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The ‘ah-hah’ moment for Timmons was his introduction to the underground network of gays serving in the Washington metro area at a house party he attended at the invitation of a captain who had come out to him. That group, the “P-MOs” (for Pentagon homosexuals) has grown to a list of over 200 people today, and is unofficially administered by a Navy captain. They gather for weekly coffees and happy hours in and around the Pentagon. “There was this vivid moment for me— like when the film Wizard of Oz changes to color as Dorothy opens the door— when I walked into the party and saw an officer I worked with, a personal staffer to the Chief of Staff of the Air Force. I was in shock,” Timmons described. “That was the first time I had seen somebody I knew at work, out in a gay setting, and I learned there was this whole underground, wordof-mouth network for gays in the military.” In his mind, Timmons related the 30 gay military men socializing at the party to what it had been like in the 1950s when
there weren’t outlets for gays to be social and people relied on private parties to be who they were. “I thought to myself of 1952, all these guys would be doing their jobs on Wall Street and the next night they’d be in somebody’s apartment at a dinner party, like my favorite play, The Boys in the Band,” Timmons said. 2011. With gays now able to serve openly, Timmons recognizes the general acceptance of everybody around him with who he is. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m an older gay guy, or that times have just changed that much,” he said. “My next-door neighbor, a very conservative, retired Army veteran and I are great friends. I’m his first gay friend. It’s about getting to know people, not whatever label is put on them by society. People like me because I’m smart, funny and good at my job. Even in the Pentagon for 24 years, it’s never been an issue that I’m gay. Just being myself, though, has done wonders.”
Lou Timmons
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By Angelina Leger
let’s go
travelguide
French Quarter Street
St. Louis Cathedral in Jackson Square
W
With a rich culture, strong military heritage, and one of the most popular carnival celebrations, New Orleans is one of the world’s most fascinating cities. From the flamboyant nightlife, world-famous chefs, and great music to the historical attractions, European architecture, and mosaic culture, New Orleans is a definite must on this year’s travel itinerary. New Orleans doesn’t deny the passion to enjoy life or the freedom to let yourself be who you truly are. The subtropical weather and long-lasting traditions work together to create an ambiance that encourages live in the moment and not hold back. It’s no wonder that New Orleans has long been a haven for a visible and thriving LGBT community. At any time of the year, gay social nightlife is exciting in New Orleans. It’s easy to make the most of your free time in the Crescent City. Much of the action is within walking distance of the Convention Center, or can be accessed on the Riverfront Streetcar. Stroll down the “Moon Walk” along the Mississippi River, or wind your way through the streets of the French Quarter. Take the streetcar to the Garden District for shopping and fun, and you will find yourself experiencing the everyday, easy going joie de vivre way of life.
Photos courtesy of New Orleans Convention Center & Visitors Bureau
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For a virtual tour of the Big Easy, visit www.neworleanscvb.com
travelGuide
Start your journey through New Orleans in its oldest neighborhood, the French Quarter, also known as the Vieux Carré (“Old Square” in French). There, check out the French Market the country’s oldest public market. The market area has retail shops, a community flea market and local cuisine. For a treat any time of the day, stop in at Café du Monde for a hot cup of café au lait and beignets. Right near Café du Monde you will find the heart of the Quarter, better known as Jackson Square. This town center was built in 1815 and was named after the victorious United States general, Andrew Jackson. Stroll through the park and you’ll see an equestrian statue of the general. Around the park, you will find tourists, artists, musicians, street performers such as jugglers and magicians, tarot card readers and even horse and carriage tours. On the opposite side of the square is Chartres Street, where you will find the historic Saint Louis Cathedral, the Presbytère and the Cabildo. If you find yourself hungry while in the Quarter, don’t fret; food choices abound! Take a break and enjoy dining with a view of the cathedral at Stanley. If you find yourself peckish for an original New Orleans po-boy, make your way to Johnny’s Po-Boys. Looking for a restaurant that will let you bring in and enjoy your own favorite wine? Head on over to EAT New Orleans, where BYOB is encouraged and local dishes with farm-fresh ingredients are served.
The French Market
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If you enjoy shopping, head to Royal Street, the Quarter’s pedestrian mall. It fills with amazing performers and shoppers who walk along this gorgeous street. Search for one-of-a-kind antiques, shoes, clothing, jewelry, art and more. Visit wellknown shops and galleries, such as Couronne Jewels and Watches, Ida Manheim Antiques and Rodrigue Studio. Visit The Shops at Canal Place, a sophisticated shopping destination, mere walking distance from the Convention Center, Aquarium of the Americas and Harrah’s Casino. Near the convention center, try visiting one of the city’s many museums and art galleries in the Arts District. This neighborhood is home to the Contemporary Arts Center, the National World War II Museum and more than 25 other galleries. When you’re done wandering, grab a meal at the original Emeril’s Restaurant. And if you happen to be in this area for breakfast, it is definitely worth standing in line at Mother’s, established in 1938, on the corner of Poydras. A real feast for all the senses, take the St. Charles Avenue streetcar line away from the French Quarter to Camellia Grill. While there is no single signature dish, the chef special omelet is a real house specialty. For a taste of old-fashioned goodness, treat yourself to their famous milkshake. You’ll find an eclectic mix of locals, tourists and hospitality you won’t forget. Allow that feast to settle with a relaxing walk over to the Garden District.
joie de The area is known for its Greek revival style, showy gardens, and numerous parks. Check out Magazine Street, the “Street of Dreams,” for eclectic architecture, antique shops, and artwork. Along this six-mile street, you’ll also find unique boutiques, used book stores, and restaurants open late. Stop in at Fleurty Girl where you can find original New Orleans theme t-shirts and accessories. For vintage clothing check out The Funky Monkey. Take the streetcar line to Mid-City and enjoy a neighborhood atmosphere and outside fun at City Park. This beautiful 1,300-acre park is perfect for year around family-fun! City Park offers visitors a wide menu of attractions and activities from artistic and natural masterpieces to sports facilities or attractions for kids and kids at heart. While in City Park visit New Orleans Museum of Art, the city’s oldest fine arts institution, has a magnificent permanent collection of more than 40,000 objects. Take a stroll through the Sydney and Walda Besthof Sculpture Garden fiveacre garden located to the rear of the New Orleans Museum of Art and ad-
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jacent to the New Orleans Botanical Garden. Once the sun sets, you can let your hair down (or spike that military fade) and explore another side of New Orleans. Historic Bourbon Street in the French Quarter buzzes every night as people flock to its bars and risqué clubs. Jazz clubs permeate this city. Preservation Hall opened in 1961 to honor New Orleans Jazz. Nightly, guests can hear veteran musicians and hot young talent embrace old-school jazz. Head over to what could possibly be the country’s oldest gay bar, Lafittes in Exile. If you are in the mood to dance, make sure to bounce on over to Oz Nightclub and The Bourbon Pub & Parade, New Orleans’ largest gay & lesbian bar and nightclub, operating continuously since its doors opened in 1974. Along with nightlife, New Orleans is equally famous for its dining, and the city has plenty of gay-owned and gay-friendly restaurants. Within steps of the nightlife epicenter, the Clover Grill serves up great diner food from a fun, vivacious wait staff. Find your joie de vivre in New Orleans Laissez les bons temps rouler!
FESTIVALS
e vivre Mardi Gras 2012
Fat Tuesday, aka Mardi Gras, falls on Feb. 21 this Carnival Season, but festivities officially begin on Jan. 6 with the Epiphany, also known as Three Kings Day. Tradition states that Mardi Gras always falls 46 days before Easter Sunday. With New Orleans being a predominately Catholic town, New Orleanians party to the max prior to the more somber, religious time of Lent. So put on your Mardi Gras beads, scope out the parade route, grab everything you own that is purple, green and gold and get ready to yell “Throw Me Something, Mister!”
Southern Decadence
Southern Decadence, which began as a going-away party more than 36 years ago, has evolved into one of New Orleans’ premier annual events. Held annually over Labor Day weekend, this celebration of LGBT culture has begun attracting participants from all over the world. Nicknamed the “Gay Mardi Gras,” Southern Decadence is one the of occasions in which participants get to strut their stuff in elaborate costumes and high
fashion. The hot spot for all the decadent action is in the French Quarter, around the intersection of Bourbon and St. Ann streets. Gay bars and dance clubs provide nonstop music over the entirety of the event. Outdoor concerts on the closed-off streets also add to the weekend’s festivities, as do stage shows in the individual clubs. One of the highlights of each year’s Southern Decadence is the annual parade held on the Sunday before Labor Day. The Grand Marshal leads the marchers and their floats through the streets to the delight of appreciative crowds all along the parade route.
French Quarter Festival
French Quarter Festival, Louisiana’s largest free music festival, takes place April 12-15, 2012. Take the Riverfront Streetcar to see more than 100 performers rocking the Quarter with something for every music lover, from jazz and zydeco to swing and classical. The festival is also known for having the “World’s Largest Jazz Brunch,” with cheap eats from some of the city’s best restaurants.
Jazz Festival
The New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, aka Jazz Fest, is a 10-day cultural feast in which thousands of musicians, cooks and crafts people welcome 400,000 visitors each year. This year, the festival takes place from April 27 to May 6. The Jazz Fest showcases unforgettable music on multiple stages and delicious Louisiana cuisine in two large food areas. Crafts artisans from the region and around the world demonstrate and sell their work. The fair is held at the Fair Grounds Race Course over the course of 2 weekends. The festival celebrates the indigenous music and culture of New Orleans and Louisiana, so the music encompasses every style associated with the city and the state: blues, R&B, gospel, Cajun, zydeco, Afro-Caribbean, folk, Latin, rock, rap, country, bluegrass and everything in between. And, of course, there is lots of jazz, both contemporary and traditional. For a complete list of festivals, visit:
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www.neworleansonline.com
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HOTELS
International House Central Business District/Downtown (504) 553-9550 http://ihhotel.com This beaux-arts New Orleans hotel is a boutique-style hotel located within 2 blocks of the St. Charles Ave. streetcar line and French Quarter and 5 blocks from the convention center. Visit the French- and Spanishinfluenced Rambla restaurant, a local favorite, along with popular Loa, a candlelit bar named after the voodoo word for “divine spirit.” Loews New Orleans Hotel Central Business District/Downtown (800) 235-6397 www.loewsneworleanshotel.com
Harrah's New Orleans Hotel Central Business District/Downtown (800) 847-5299 www.HarrahsNewOrleans.com This award-winning hotel has spectacular views of the Mississippi River, New Orleans' skyline and is just steps from the French Quarter and Convention Center. Recently ranked amongst the "Best Places to Stay in the World" by Conde Nast Traveler. Hotel Le Marais French Quarter (877) 219-7784 www.hotellemarais.com Hotel le Marais is New Orleans’ newest upscale boutique hotel. It is where the trendsetters, influencers and fashionistas go to stay in the heart of it all. Set amid a historic and cultural backdrop, this French Quarter hotel is a modern and upscale sanctuary with four-star amenities and a high level of personal service.
Nestled amongst art galleries, boutique shopping and fine restaurants in the French Quarter, Hotel Monteleone is revered as New Orleans' Grand Dame. Spa Aria, Rooftop Pool, Fitness Center, two restaurants and the Carousel Bar await you. W French Quarter French Quarter (800) 448-4927 www.whotels.com Hotter than Mardi Gras 'cause it's happening all year round. It's W New Orleans- French Quarter. Meet and mingle in our playful Living Room. Andrew Jackson Hotel, French Quarter Inns French Quarter (800) 654-0224 www.frenchquarterinns.com Located in the Heart of the French Quarter, steps from Jackson Square and Bourbon Street, the Andrew Jackson Hotel features romantic architecture and lovely views of the French Quarter. Guest rooms are situated among a picturesque 18th century Creole courtyard. Celebrated wrought-iron balcony overlooks legendary Royal Street. Le Richelieu French Quarter (800) 535-9653 http://lerichelieuhotel.com
Chalmette Battlefield. ©2011 Angelina Leger
Located just steps from the best that New Orleans has to offer, the four-diamond Loews New Orleans Hotel features the largest guest rooms in the city. Each Grand Guestroom has magnificent views of the Mississippi River or the New Orleans Skyline. Located lobby level is the award winning Cafe Adelaide and the Swizzle Stick Bar.
Hotel Monteleone French Quarter (800) 535-9595 www.hotelmonteleone.com
DID YOU KNOW?
This French Quarter hotel is just far enough away from the fray to offer guests a quiet stay. A café and late-night lounge draw both guests and locals to their intimate environs. Guests can enjoy an outdoor pool and garden patio. The Roosevelt Central Business District/Downtown 800) WALDORF http://therooseveltneworleans.com From our legendary past – where the famous and infamous, the royal and revered, the celebrity and the Sazerac have all starred – to our modern-day luxury and extraordinary accommodations and meeting spaces, The Roosevelt is the destination where memories begin. Experience the premier luxury hotel in New Orleans, now part of the prestigious Waldorf Astoria Hotels & Resorts.
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Just around the Mississippi’ River’s crescent, you will find the Chalmette Battlefied in Chalmette, La. This is the site Major General Andrew Jackson won the biggest U.S. land battle in history. “One of my favorite places to visit whenever I am in the New Orleans area is the battlefield at Chalmette in St. Bernard Parish. On that low, swampy ground in January 1815, Major General Andrew Jackson took about 5,000 irregular forces recruited from local militias, the bars of the city, and the crew of the pirate Jean Lafitte and defeated about 5,400 well-trained British regulars, considered at that time the finest fighting force in the world.” – Lt. Gen. Russell L. Honore’ (U.S. Army, Ret.), from the epilogue of Survival: How a culture of preparedness can save you and your family from disasters
RESTAURANTS
EAT New Orleans Casual. Class. Creole. Cajun. BYOB Encouraged. 900 Dumaine Street (504) 522-7222 http://eatnola.com Stanley 547 Saint Ann St. at Chartres St. on historic Jackson Square (504) 587-0093 http://stanleyrestaurant.com Johnny’s Po-Boys 511 St. Louis Street (504) 525-8037 http://johnnyspoboys.com Bombay Club Restaurant and Martini Bistro 830 Conti St. (504) 586-0972, (800) 699-7711 http://thebombayclub.com Bourbon House 144 Bourbon Street (504) 522-0111 www.bourbonhouse.com Orange Couch 2339 Royal St. (504) 267-7327 www.theorangecouchcoffee.com Country Club 634 Louisa Street (504) 945-0742 http://thecountryclubneworleans.com Clover Grill 900 Bourbon St. (504) 598-1010 http://clovergrill.com/
Camellia Grill 626 S. Carrollton Ave. (504) 309-2679 www.camelliagrill.net/home.htm Mother’s 401 Poydras Street (504) 523-9656 www.mothersrestaurant.net
SHOPPING
Royal Street in the French Quarter – Everyday from 11-4 Royal Street is closed to traffic and turned into a pedestrian mall. Magazine Street – Enjoy over six miles of unique boutiques, restaurants and more! Fleurty Girl 3117 Magazine St. (504) 301-2557 www.fleurtygirl.net
Preservation Hall 726 St. Louis Street (504) 522-2841 www.preservationhall.com
NIGHT LIFE
Oz Nightclub 800 Bourbon Street (504) 593-9491 www.ozneworleans.com Bourbon Pub/Parade 801 Bourbon St. (504) 529-2107 www.bourbonpub.com Napolean’s Itch 734 Bourbon Street (504) 371-5450 www.napoleonsitch.com Lafittes in Exile (country's oldest gay bar) 901 Bourbon St. (504) 522-8397 http://lafittes.com Good Friends Bar 740 Dauphine St. (504) 566-7191 www.goodfriendsbar.com
The Funky Monkey 3117 Magazine St. (504) 301-2557 www.fleurtygirl.net
Sazerac Bar in the Roosevelt Hotel 123 Baronne Street (504) 648-1200 http://therooseveltneworleans.com
Shops at Canal Place 333 Canal St. (504) 522-9200 www.theshopsatcanalplace.com
Mimi’s in the Marigny 2601 Royal St. (504) 872-9868 www.mimisinthemarigny.net
www.neworleanscvb.com
Pat O’Brien’s 718 St. Peter Street (504) 525-4823 www.patobriens.com
MUSEUMS + CULTURE
City Park www.neworleanscitypark.com New Orleans Museum of Art www.noma.org Jean Lafitte National History Museum www.nps.gov/jela Contemporary Arts Center www.cacno.org National World War II Museum www.nationalww2museum.org Chalmette Battlefield Chalmette, LA www.nps.gov/jela/chalmettebattlefield.htm
more info www.neworleansonline.com
New Orleans, Louisiana jan/Feb 2012
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yourstory Photo: defenseimagery.mil
WAR JOURNAL
T
By SSG Steven Proctor, Tennessee Army National Guard
his nation has been at war for ten years, and though our fight back home for equality and freedom has been hard, it pales in comparison to the sacrifices that many of us have faced overseas. In an effort to provide the forward-deployed perspective on open service, OutServe Magazine will be featuring real issues and stories from the front line that highlight experiences from the battlefield. SSG Steven Proctor is currently on his fourth combat deployment since joining the Army. Today, he’s on his first deployment as an openly gay Soldier. Currently serving as the OutServe chapter leader for Bagram, Afghanistan, he faced numerous challenges while in the closet, and different ones as a newly-out NCO.
Here is his story:
SSG Steven Proctor
In 2002, I enlisted in the U.S. Army at age 18, shortly after graduating from high school in Goshen, Ohio. I worked hard in high school, hoping academic success would help me earn scholarships. I was involved in choir, drama club and academic teams. Goshen is a small, homogeneous town. I assumed everyone else there was heterosexual. I was always scared to be anything different from the grain around me. I thought that the feelings I had for other boys were just part of an awkward phase that I would outgrow. I was close to my grandfather, a retired Marine sergeant major, and I wanted to do something great like he did. I definitely didn’t want to disappoint him, and joining the military seemed a logical way to make him proud. As I considered joining the Army, many people said I wouldn’t make it. Their criticism drove me to prove
32 OutServeMag.com jan/Feb 2012
them wrong. I went to basic training at Fort Jackson, advanced individual training at Fort Lee, and was stationed at Fort Campbell in Feb. 2003. The next month, I deployed with the 227th Supply Company. We were on the ground in ArifJan, Kuwait, prior to the official start of Operation Iraqi Freedom. My platoon was responsible for receiving all the supplies from the supply depots back in the states and sending the supplies up to the major commands as we prepared to attack. I clearly remember the first time a siren went off. My platoon and I were eating our MREs (Meals, Ready to Eat) in a container yard when we learned that the president had officially declared war on Iraq. SPC “H” took out her Bible and read Psalm 9:1, the prayer for protection. Seconds after her prayer, another alarm went off and we had to don our gas masks and full chem warfare equipment. A soldier next to me started crying and
another soldier tried to help her snap out of it. Others brimmed with adrenaline, simply reacting and not thinking. I remember thinking that nothing in my life until now measured up to this moment. My future was uncertain. I am a soldier at war. I thought, “I am with all these other soldiers that I care about and they care about me too. I will be okay.” After a few moments, we heard the Patriot missiles shoot off and take out an Iraqi SCUD missile. As the ALL CLEAR sounded, all was well in the world again. We worked long hours in the heat during that first deployment. Our platoon was vital in getting the warfighters the supplies needed in Iraq. After a couple months in Kuwait, the attacks slowed and we were able to lower our protective posture, but the work never ended. During the slow periods, I tried having a bit of a personal life in Kuwait. I went to the gospel church service and was a member of the praise and worship team. I felt welcomed in the church and welcomed by members of other ethnic groups, a first for me, given my hometown experience. Eventually, my platoon’s mission changed and we moved to Balad, Iraq, to work at the Corp Distribution Center. In Iraq, we received incoming mortars. Sometimes, we sat in concrete shelters for hours, just waiting for the ALL CLEAR. The remainder of that first deployment passed without much fanfare. I even had a chance to take leave for Christmas. I surprised my parents and enjoyed seeing my family. I was 19 years old, on leave from a combat zone near Cincinnati, Ohio. It was during this trip that I went to a gay bar for the first time. I was nervous about being there. Before joining the Army, I was just the skinny kid with bad acne. In my opinion, I was not very attractive and had never found myself receiving many compliments on my looks. This
all changed while I was on leave. Though I was scared, the thought of being attractive to someone else was very exciting, and my confidence increased without me even realizing it. This confidence would come in very handy when I returned to Fort Campbell and ultimately got into my first relationship, but that’s a story for another issue. The most poignant part of my first deployment was the respect I gained for my fellow soldiers and the bond that formed between us. I realized that not every American was as closed-minded as some I knew back home. The vast majority of soldiers turned out to be fantastic, driven, dedicated citizens who truly believed in making the world a better place. This thought was a very liberating discovery for me, because it meant that as I came to terms with who I truly was and began to accept myself, that I would be able to find accepting friends in the Army. The prospect of this idea was exciting, especially considering how unavailable that same prospect seemed to be in Goshen.
The Army, for all of its flaws and its rather industrial persona, is a very forgiving organization, filled with people who are so diverse that they make the Army quite accepting in my experience. It is in this Army that I find my combat and garrison service rewarded. It is in this Army that I find my mentors and my friends for life. It is in this accepting and affirming Army that I find my passion; leading Soldiers and making them better citizens. Sergeant Proctor went on to deploy three more times following his first deployment in 2003. Currently stationed in Bagram, Afghanistan, Sergeant Proctor’s story represents one of many from our forward-deployed ranks. In future issues, OutServe Magazine will feature other service members’ experiences from the front line. You’ll read of their triumphs and struggles, and gain some insight into the unique challenges and opportunities available to LGBT troops deployed around the world.
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Photo: Cherie Cullen DoD Photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class NyxoLyno Cangemi, U.S. Coast Guard
U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 1st Class Chad Runge
Service Academies L E A D D A D T R e p e al
U.S. Navy photo by Lt. Cmdr. Mark C. Jones
By Neal Simpson
“S
eptember 20, 2011 passed by like
campuses, especially when compared to
any other Tuesday at the U.S. Mili-
frontline troops or other military units. While
tary Academy at West Point; class-
issues such as discipline and morale tran-
es proceeded normally and life was ‘busi-
scend each of the academies and their
ness-as-usual.’ This is according to Tyler, a
respective services, things like academic
sophomore cadet at West Point, originally
integrity and scholarly dissent and debate
that raises awareness about harassment
from southeast Michigan. Tyler’s observa-
are concepts that often have no place on
and bullying of LGBT individuals. In April,
tions were similar to those of Daniel, an ac-
the frontlines, but are essential to intellec-
2007, the Coast Guard Academy became
tive-duty officer on the faculty at the U.S. Na-
tual development and growth of academy
the first of the service academies to partici-
val Academy, and of Col Stella Renner, the
cadets and midshipmen. These special-
pate in the Day of Silence. Cadet McCafferty
Air Force Academy’s vice commandant for
ized issues create an environment with spe-
and others, including Cadet Chip Hall who
culture and climate. West Point Chief of Staff
cific challenges that also result in solutions
picked up where McCafferty left off upon
Col Charles Stafford attributed the relatively
unique to the academies.
graduation, subsequently formed a loose
benign response to the younger genera-
Each academy is unique in its perspec-
coalition of cadets who helped promote
tion. “The generation of today educated the
tive, process and progress. Long before
an environment of tolerance for LGBT indi-
generations of yesterday, and we’ve had no
the repeal, cadets at the U.S. Coast Guard
viduals. Activities included a showing of the
problems,” said Stafford.
Academy were laying the groundwork for
movie Milk, and in 2011, they also hosted a
equality and diversity at their school.
showing of Out of Annapolis, a documentary
Because the service academies are higher education institutions, their emphasis is
Melissa McCafferty, now a Coast Guard
they used to help prepare the Coast Guard
on learning and the “population is already
ensign, was a freshman cadet at the Coast
Academy for the imminent repeal of DADT.
in receive mode,” said Colonel Stafford. This
Guard Academy in 2007 and obtained offi-
These showings occurred on campus in
fact is an important distinction when observ-
cial academy endorsement to observe the
the auditorium, and they all occurred pre-
ing the effects of the repeal of DADT on their
annual Day of Silence—a nationwide event
repeal.
34 OutServeMag.com jan/Feb 2012
Most significant about the Coast Guard
to a command climate at the Naval Academy
some cadets are still afraid it will hurt their
that seems to tolerate or possibly embrace it.
careers. He believes gay soldiers are still
the creation of an organization called
Daniel, an east-coast native and service
waiting to see what happens to the ones who
SPECTRUM, their sixth diversity council. Com-
academy graduate, is still in the closet at the
come out first. How they are treated will play
prised of two cadets from each grade, and
Naval Academy. When asked why, he said “I
a large role in whether others choose to come
with the assistance of the Office of Inclusion
still hear the [gay] jokes and comments. Not
out.
and Diversity, the academy’s staff judge ad-
daily anymore, but certainly a few times a
Tyler is optimistic, however. “We have come
vocate, the Commandant of Cadets and the
week. Why risk being ridiculed,” he asks. “I’ve
a long way since September. Gaining accep-
superintendent, the group promotes respect
established a reputation here, and I’m not
tance in the military community will not be
and tolerance for all, regardless of sexual ori-
sure how people would react.”
easy or quick, but I am confident it will hap-
Academy’s
preparation,
however,
was
entation. Because of the bravery of cadets like
For Daniel, the Naval Academy faculty is re-
McCafferty and the forethought of the Acade-
ally like two families: the military family and
West Point is in the process of creating its
my’s leadership, SPECTRUM was organized,
the civilian family. And while those families
own version of SPECTRUM, modeled after the
chartered, and ready for command approval
are cordial, they see the world differently. The
Coast Guard Academy. Working with alumni
when the repeal of DADT became official. On
civilian side, represented by the academic
such as OutServe’s own Sue Fulton from
Dec. 1, 2011, SPECTRUM became an official
dean, is openly supportive of the repeal. It’s
Knights Out (the LGBT alumni association for
part of the Coast Guard Academy, and made
this family that reached out to AU about Safe
West Point), cadets are in talks with adminis-
history as the first gay-straight alliance at a
Spaces. The military side, represented by the
tration officials now and hope to have a func-
U.S. service academy.
superintendent and the commandant of mid-
tional gay-straight alliance soon.
pen.”
Other academies followed in the footsteps
shipmen, seems indifferent. While he has not
When asked about the next challenge on
of the Coast Guard with cadet and faculty
observed any discrimination, he doesn’t want
the horizon for equality, Colonel Stafford was
sponsored
to risk it.
quick to answer: “Diversity. We need a culture
organizations.
The
Merchant
Marine Academy, the first academy to ac-
“I’m happy with my job, I enjoy teaching at
of diversity across the board.” In his opinion,
cept women into its ranks, has always been
the Naval Academy, and I don’t want that to
there is always an ‘issue of the day.’ But mili-
a leader for equality. Though a component
change. I don’t want people to change their
tary leaders must look to the issues that never
of the U.S. Department of Transportation, it
opinion of me when they find out I’m gay.”
change. “Old issues like discrimination still
educated cadets and staff to better prepare
Daniel is hopeful, however, that time will bring
happen, and they’re still wrong.” Stafford be-
for future interaction with the Navy Reserve
about change. Of the 20-plus gay midship-
lieves that regardless of race, creed, sexual
and other services. “[Our] admission, reten-
men he knows, none are out to the brigade,
orientation, gender, or ethnicity, service mem-
tion, and misconduct rules [continue] to ap-
either. “They value me as a faculty member
bers must know that their leadership supports
ply in gender and sexual orientation-neutral
and as a mentor. So that’s progress.”
them, cares for them equally, and treats them
fashion, so the repeal of DADT does not significantly impact the USMMA,” says Capt
West Point, like the Coast Guard Academy, seems to embrace the repeal as a mission.
fairly. As each of the service academies move
William Rospars, assistant superintendent for
“The most effective soldier is the one who
forward beyond the repeal of DADT, they will
plans, assessment, and public affairs for the
believes in and trusts the chain of command
each continue to face issues based on their
Merchant Marine Academy.
to respect and accept him or her fully,” said
unique blend of military and academic dis-
Across the country at the Air Force Acad-
Colonel Stafford. “Leaders must breed a com-
ciplines. One thing that will continue to bind
emy, “the repeal has gone very smoothly. I
mand climate that demands respect and ac-
them together is that, like the rest of the mili-
have heard anecdotally that some cadets are
ceptance of all of our people.”
tary, they represent a cross-section of Ameri-
interested in starting a cadet [gay-straight alliance] club,” said Colonel Renner.
He admits that fostering such a climate is a
can society. As society advances and chang-
process. “Some service members worry that
es, so must the military and its academies.
Similarly, at the Naval Academy, the
they will be judged if they seek help or come
The example the service academies set in
school’s diversity committee reached out to
out, or that their issues won’t be adequately
tolerance, acceptance and equality show-
American University to discuss a program
resolved. Leaders must demonstrate that we
case how the military does the same thing
called Safe Spaces, creating a place for mid-
will ‘walk the walk’ and take care of our own.”
for a society. As Colonel Stafford put it, “no
shipmen to come out. They trained faculty
Tyler, a West Point sophomore, agrees. “No
one diversity issue is any better or worse than
and staff (voluntarily), including chaplaincy,
gay cadet that I knew fostered any delusions
another. Discrimination is wrong, and intoler-
midshipmen counselors and diversity office
that repeal meant the Army was suddenly
ance won’t be tolerated.”
personnel. “Most of the faculty in attendance
gay friendly.” He believes that while the Army
were civilians,” says Daniel. He attributes this
no longer discharges soldiers for being gay,
jan/Feb 2012
OutServeMag.com
35
theIssue
U.S. Navy photo by Senior Chief Mass Communication Specialist Robert J. Fluegel
The Repeal: From Leaders’ Perspective
T
By Neal Simpson
36 OutServeMag.com jan/Feb 2012
he repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT) forced every leader in the United States military to enforce a new policy. The era of open service for lesbian, gay and bisexual service members had finally arrived. In preparation for this date, the Department of Defense ordered each of the services to conduct training for their service members and civilian employees. This three-tiered system included broad conduct and policy training for the masses, specific training for medical and religious personnel, and a further refined set of training for commanders and senior enlisted advisors. Upon completion of training and on advice from military leaders, Congress passed the legisla-
tion and the president signed it into law. Just as no two LGB service members are the same, no chain of command faced identical issues with the repeal. For many commands, there was no tangible change; the training happened, the president signed the law, nobody came out, and everything stayed the same. Many commands experienced immediate change, however. Units in nearly every branch of every service experienced at least one service member who was brave enough to come out. For those chains of command, the significance of the repeal quickly became apparent. OutServe wanted to capture the profiles of commanders and non-commissioned officers with one thing in
common: they have an out, gay service member in their command. Unlike many, these people immediately faced the challenges of repeal. This article samples experiences in hopes of empowering other leaders with practical advice and lessons learned, as well as illustrating how truly successful the repeal of DADT has been across services. PFC Tiffany Freeze is an Army imagery analyst currently deployed to Afghanistan. She joined the Army in 2010 because her brother was no longer able to fight. He was a combat engineer who was wounded so many times that he was no longer fit for service. Private Freeze wanted to carry on his legacy of service. She understood the DADT policy upon enlisting, but like others serving during this time, chose to hide her bisexuality in exchange for serving her country. When the repeal became official, she gradually began to come out slowly to her colleagues and friends. She eventually worked up the courage to tell the other soldiers she worked with. With the excep-
tion of a few odd glances and a few good natured jokes, her unit warmly accepted her. I corresponded with her platoon sergeant, SSG Jessica Shaffer, by e-mail, and she agreed to answer a few questions. When asked if she had a plan on how she would handle one of her soldiers coming out and if the training received prepare her for the task, Sergeant Shaffer responded “I had thought about it to some degree. I suppose my plan was just to ensure all soldiers within my sphere of influence received fair, respectful treatment regardless of their sexual preference. My primary concern was how straight soldiers and commanders would treat LGB Soldiers if they came out. My second concern was the logistics of the repeal. I knew some soldiers may be averse to living with an open LGB roommate. Both of these concerns became irrelevant because of the training and the repeal itself.” Asked to discuss what it was like after Private Freeze came out to the platoon
and what surprised her the most, Shaffer said, “The reaction (or lack thereof) of the other soldiers in the platoon was the most surprising. I wouldn’t say I expected it to be a big deal, but everyone just carried on in the same manner as usual. No one treated her any differently.” This platoon sergeant’s advice to other NCOs: “Have faith that your leadership will do the right thing by acting appropriately—make sure your Soldiers know this, too. Leaders must ensure all of their Soldiers receive fair treatment and must immediately address any issues that arise. Because of the training and the camaraderie of the platoon, PFC Freeze’s declaration has been a non-issue.” Capt Matthew Phelps is a Marine company commander at the Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego. Originally enlisting to serve as a musician in the Marine Corps Band at Twentynine Palms, Calif., Captain Phelps now oversees the in-processing of 51 percent of all male recruits into the Marine Corps; some 18,000 recruits annually move through his com-
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DoD photo by Tech. Sgt. Michael R. Holzworth, U.S. Air Force
theRepeal
U.S. Army photo by Sgt 1st Class Jon Soucy Neal Simpson in Iraq, 2005
pany. His personal story attracted some attention last year when he blogged about his experience as one of the several LGB Marines who took a samesex date to his Marine Corps birthday ball. In a statement, the Commanding General of Marine Corps Recruit Depot San Diego, BGen Daniel Yoo discussed how the recruit depot has handled the repeal. General Yoo wrote, “The repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy [is] a nonissue. Marines of different moral and religious values work, live and fight together because they’ve treated each other with dignity and respect. This is no different at the Depot. We have continued to be fair and equal, and above all, sexual orientation – neutral.” My own story: I am currently serving as a rifle company commander in the 1st Marine Division. I came out to my wife at the end of 2010, and to my leaders and my Marines last September. I interviewed both my battalion and regimental commanders for this article. I asked them many of the same questions I asked of each of the other leaders I interviewed, but their responses were a bit more per-
sonal because of my relationship with each. I have known LtCol Targos, my battalion commander, since 2004—our wives used to work together. I have known Col Furness, my regimental commander, for the same amount of time, as he was my first battalion commander. The unique nature of these professional relationships not only changed the tone of the interview, but aIso, I believe, shaped their perspectives as commanders of an openly gay Marine. The similarity in their responses was not surprising given that they are in the same chain of command, but their perspectives are expectedly different. I asked each to describe the aspect of the repeal that concerned them the most prior to Sept. 20. I wanted to know what kept them up at night as a commander. For Colonel Targos, it was simply “the reaction of the guys in the unit [infantry units are all male]. It was the unanticipated problems or friction for the Marines or sailors who come out…or the ones who don’t. For those who don’t come out, what happens if their buddies find out?” He said his concerns appear to have been
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unsubstantiated, but it’s still too early to tell. “As a commander, I’m always watching for someone who may personally object to the policy, because it’s my job to make sure that these personal feelings don’t adversely affect the unit. People in ‘old-think’, whether that’s due to upbringing or experiences…that’s dangerous. We’ve got to bring them on board.” Colonel Targos recalled a personal story from when he and his wife lived in Fredericksburg, Va. “Our new neighbors were a gay male couple,” he said. “When Wendy [his wife] and I met them and invited them over for dinner, they seemed surprised. One of the men told us “You never know what people’s motivation is…you never know if they are going to treat you differently.” Leaning forward in his chair, Colonel Targos went on. “It struck me that they were always living life so cautiously. That feeling stuck with me, and seems very relevant to this issue. I don’t ever want my Marines and sailors to feel like their unit is not their home. They need to be comfortable being who they are…a Marine or sailor, and a member of this battalion.”
When asked the same question (concerns before and after the repeal), Colonel Furness’ response was broader, and speaks to the culture of the Marine Corps. “In the Marine Corps,” he said, “we go out of our way to make people all the same. This ranges from the training they receive to the haircuts and the uniforms we wear. So with something as essential to a person’s identity as their sexuality or gender, I was concerned that it could impact cohesion.” This was specifically relevant to Colonel Furness, as his regiment was deployed to Afghanistan for a year immediately preceding the repeal. When asked if the concern proved valid, he said that the leaders of the Marine Corps kept that from happening. When asked about the effectiveness of the pre-repeal tiered training, Colonel Furness said, “When the commandant says color, we all color. This was particularly effective with the repeal of DADT. The Marine Corps’ unity of command helped our service just get over it. I tell Marines all the time that there are policies that I may not personally agree with, but it has no bearing on whether or not I enforce it. Leaders enforce policy.” I asked both commanders about how they would navigate the somewhat murky waters surrounding same-sex spouses and partners under the current policy set forth by the Defense of Marriage Act. Though neither had any direct experience, they both indicated a need to approach the family readiness officer and the staff judge advocate. As Colonel Furness put it, “The benefits thing is going to be handed at the national level…that’s the bottom line. If I encountered a samesex partner benefits issue under the current policy, I would never dream of telling my boss ‘I got this one…I’ll handle it.’ I would look quickly to Headquarters Marine Corps for guidance. What I would do is sit down with that service member and ensure they know that the command sup-
ports and will take care of them, just as we take care of all our families. We’ll help them navigate the bureaucracy. In other words, we’ll take care of our own.” When asked what advice he would give to other leaders, Colonel Targos chuckled and said that leaders should “be more concerned about the older folks like me. Young guys and gals are a lot more tolerant than we give them credit for. We (as leaders) have to practice what we preach… we can learn a lot from our troops when it comes to tolerance.” He also said “you can’t be 50 percent supportive. You must be 100 percent supportive of the policy change. These are your guys. Statistically speaking, you have LGB service members in your unit. Take care of them like you take do all of your troops. Any instance of discrimination is one too many. Colonel Furness said those at greater risk require extra attention. “If you think being the listener in a ‘coming-out’ conversation is hard, consider how much harder it must be for the service member who trusted you enough to come
out. When you have a service member in your unit come out, your primary concern must be on his or her emotional health.” Sept. 20 passed without the mass coming-out parties predicted by the naysayers, but thousands of service members from every branch and service came out in the months following the repeal. For the thousands of LGB service members currently serving, the decision to come out remains a deeply personal one. Hopefully, the success of those who choose to do so now, and the support of their leaders, pave the road for the ones who follow. As with any change in an organization so steeped in tradition and rules, the acceptance of openly serving LGB members is contingent upon leaders, regardless of their personal beliefs or orientation. In the words of General Yoo, “strong leadership… made this a smooth transition. For these commanders, it was not about changing attitudes; it was about ensuring behavior remained consistent with the standards of conduct and that their service members remained cared for.
U.S. Air Force photo by Staff Sgt. Jason Robertson
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