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outlook aug 2009 • vol 14 issue 3

inside: pride pictures Greenpeace Police Chief Distelzweig I love my Nomos getting unstuck Dirty franks & the tubs gendala pin up agenda what’s modern fashion deep inside hollywood & Local celebrity gary


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HowmanypeopleinLongIslanddoyouthinkactuallydrinkLongIslands?

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drunk rabbits rule. welcome back. Welcome to August and our Modern (Wo)Man issue. This edition is our spin on fashion and what being modern is all about. Today’s contemporaries are far from Millie, at least in dress, though the spirit of that thoroughly modern woman still holds true: it’s all about being true to yourself, following your passions and creating your place in the world.

you’re like the environmentalists that Deborah Steele of GreenPeace talks about getting arrested for hanging a pro-green banner over Mt Rushmore or like Phil Zimmerman at the Reformed Catholic Church who left his spiritual home to forge a new one, putting your neck out there for what you know is right is the ultimate in modern.

Inside we have some great stuff (shocking, we know!) exploring the many sides of what modern means. On the fashion front we have our ever-witty Fashion Fwd columnist Marcus Morris taking over the feature and giving his spin on trends and gay aesthetic. We have the beautiful Elizabeth Bean from Wardrobe Therapy preparing us for the fall event circuit and Benji and Lex take Gaily Fwd not-so-gayly pink.

Even companies are getting in on the modern movement. SKYY and X-Rated Fusion, for example, have been showing their support of our community hardcore this year. It’s hard to find a Pride Celebration (sans ours) that wasn’t sponsored by the spirits purveyors in some fashion. Companies are finally getting it that supporting our community is not only modern, it’s the right thing to do. Unfortunately, some still don’t get it – either because they’re homophobic themselves, or because they’re afraid of “offending our base.” To them we ask, would you refuse to support African American causes because some of your clients are racist? We doubt it. Think, people. Think.

But modern isn’t just about fashion, it’s about the person you are too. Unapologetically standing up for what you believe in and supporting causes close to your heart is very in vogue. Whether

outlook columbus is published and distributed by Outlook Media, Inc. the first day of each month throughout Ohio. outlook columbus is a free publication provided solely for the use of our readers. Any person who willfully or knowingly obtains or exerts unauthorized control over more than 5 copies of any issue outlook columbus with the intent to prevent other individuals from reading it shall be considered guilty of the crime of theft. Violators will be prosecuted. The views expressed in outlook columbus are those of the individual authors and do not necessarily reflect the views, policies, or personal, business, or professional practices of Outlook Media, Inc. or its staff, ownership, or management.

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Speaking of liquor and the right thing to do, we suggest finding a patio to read this edition of outlook while enjoying a martini or two. (Hell, have three and you’ll think we’re geniuses!) We are in the heat of summer so get out there and enjoy it. The weather, we think, has been perfect so far. Invite your friends to join and you can all cocktail and conversate on what modern is. Need a drink suggestion? We asked the drunk Lady Bunny at Pride and she slurrily suggests two of her own concoctions: The LB Boy Chaser (1oz Skyy Infusions Grape, 2oz ginger ale on rocks with lime) or the X-Rated Bunny Drop shot, which almost dropped her off the stage (1oz X-Rated Fusion, 1oz Skyy Infusions Cherry, 1oz pineapple). They are both lightly fruity, like us. Enjoy, Chris and Michael

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you are here

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examined life

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food drama!

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snapshot

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eartholpolis

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trippin’ out

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snapshot

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queer to eternity

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interview

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poli sci

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in a hayes

40 deep inside hollywood

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q-munity

pull out

gay agenda about town

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23 frames per second

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feature: modern

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creative class

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gaytri

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feature: modern

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feature: modern

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local celebrity

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small pond

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feature: modern

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astro forecast

outlook columbus does not guarantee the accuracy, completeness or reliability of any interpretation, advice, opinion, or view presented. Outlook Media, Inc. does not investigate or accept responsibility for claims made in any advertisement. Outlook Media, Inc. assumes no responsibility for claims arising in connection with products and services advertised herein, nor for the content of, or reply to, any advertisement. All material is copyrighted ©2009 by Outlook Media, Inc. All rights reserved.

Tobreedlikerabbitsistoreproduceprolifically.Tof#*klikerabbitsisjusttodoitalot.

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PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

Hey Billy, we do this right and my aunt said she could get us on the Macy’s Day Parade.

Lady Ga Ga’s Mom!

What would it be like to actually have pom poms for hands?

It’s not pot... we promise.

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE FESTIVAL JUNE 20, 2009

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE NIGHT @ AXIS JUNE 20, 2009

This turd just won’t come out! HEEEEE!

You rang master...

Look at the piece I’m getting tonight! Happy Pride to Collin!

Yo dude, you seen my shirt? Yeah, you can look in my pants. Go ahead, I forgot to look there.

PRIDE PARADE JUNE 20, 2009

DRAGAPALOOZA JUNE 20, 2009

CASSANDRA’S GOING AWAY PARTY

PRIDE PARADE JUNE 20, 2009

What do you mean you forgot the ring?!?

He just saw Lady Ga Ga’s mom... changing...

Who’s in the mood for a Pina Colada!

We did not hit that kid, Boy Scout honor!

PRIDE PARADE JUNE 20, 2009

PRIDE FESTIVAL JUNE 20, 2009

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

PRIDE PARADE JUNE 20, 2009

Proud In laws

Hey Rios, you still owe me a drink.

Some say I smell like nacho cheese. You know what I say to them? Dip in baby. Dip In!

I think that’s Alexis’s mom, other wise he’s a huge poser!

august 2009

Evenmorepridephotosatwww.outlookcolumbus.com.

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Ball Metal has a division in Findlay Ohio where Chris is from. It’s the Metal Food & Household Products Packaging Division.

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PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

PRIDE KICK-OFF SHOW JUNE 18, 2009

It’s just a jump to the left

HA! I knew Nina still had my hair! Give me back that wig!

It was pride and they wanted some filling.

The key to Ninas... Apartment.

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

PRIDE PARADE JUNE 20, 2009

DRAGAPALOOZA JUNE 20, 2009

DRAGAPALOOZA JUNE 20, 2009

And he says he doesn’t like his picture taken... whatever!

Not believing his mom, Smiley found out the hard way your face really can stick like that.

Boots’ & Virginia Rehydrating after the show.

No no I see it... yes you look just like her...

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

BAT-N-ROUGE JUNE 21, 2009

Hee hee hee, that tickles.

Unzipped here I come!

and the salt please.

It’s just a matter of time till Traut actually becomes Candy’s panties.

OWNERS AND PUBLISHERS Michael Daniels & Christopher Hayes HEADQUARTERS Outlook Media, Inc. 815 N High St, Bsmt Ste ii Columbus, OH 43215 614.268.8525 phone 614.261.8200 fax www.outlookmedia.com

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ADVERTISING DIRECTOR Michael Daniels: mdaniels@outlookmedia.com NATIONAL ADVERTISING Rivendell Media - 212.242.6863 ADVERTISING DEADLINE Reservations by the 15th of each month. Art in by the 20th.

SUBSCRIPTIONS Call 614.268.8525 DISTRIBUTION Call 614.268.8525 EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & ART DIRECTOR Christopher Hayes hayes@outlookmedia.com

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Marcie Hallan, Regina Sewell, E Magazine, Adam Lippe, Romeo San Vicente, Jack Fertig, Simon Sheppard, Dan Savage CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Danner-Morris, Robert Trautman

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WecouldwatchTraviseatcorndogsallday.WefantasizeaboutwhatatriptoDirtyFrankswithhimwouldbelike.

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We wonder if the Orbitz guy does it in his hovercraft ...

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No, those men are not trying to eat that baby. They just have very toothy smiles.

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Things Just Got a Little Bit Quieter

by Cheri Meyers

With a heavy heart, I’m writing to announce that as of July 1st, SpeakOUT - as a formal organization - has ceased operations. I know this announcement will come as a surprise and I have struggled for many weeks to make this tough decision. As much as I would love to continue running this group as a formal non-profit, I simply no longer have the time and energy required to do so. My personal life has changed in many ways since I began this group in the spring of 2004. My youngest son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in the fall of 2006, which brings with it unique demands and focus to ensure that my son remains healthy. My two children are now 12 and 9, and their activities are becoming increasingly demanding on my time. My husband lost his job not once, but twice, due to the recession. He remains unemployed at this time. This change in our life sent me back to working full-time and forced me to cease all speaking engagements during working hours. These changes in my life have not changed my personal feelings and goals as an ally, but it has forced me to reevaluate my priorities and take a hard look at my schedule and what I can and cannot do at this time.

I am so proud of everything SpeakOUT has achieved as an organization. There is simply not enough room to list all of our accomplishments, but let me just say that our message of hope was heard by thousands... not just here in central Ohio, but across the nation. (I have received numerous letters of thanks from people who reside out of Ohio.) Not only did we reach out and welcome new allies but we also built bridges within the gay community itself. Through our outreach and volunteers, we proved to the central Ohio GLBT community that straight people from all walks of life cared about the issues that affected their lives...so much so that we “came out” in our own lives as allies and took action.

very excited about the current atmosphere of activism in central Ohio. I have met more straight allies this past year than in any other since I’ve been active. New ally focused groups are spring-up all over: Knox County GSA has been incredibly successful, TransOhio continues to grow and do good things, Delaware Christian Gay/Straight Alliance remains a steadfast warrior and the new Athens PFLAG is off to a great start. While I certainly do not take credit for this growth in GLBT awareness in the straight community, I do hope that SpeakOUT played some part in spreading the seeds of activism in our state. I strongly encourage our existing organizations to put more time, money and effort into the education and recruitment of allies.

Some of the most remarkable letters and comments I’ve received over the years were from GLBT-identifying people who were moved by our organization. I’ll never forget one individual who walked across a room to shake my hand. She said, “I didn’t think straight people like you even existed. You’ve changed the way I look at my life.” It was an emotional moment for both of us. It proved to me that one person really can make a difference.

I would like to thank everyone for their support and encouragement over these past years. I want to thank the many individuals who listened to my “stupid questions” and taught me. Thank you for sharing your secrets, fears and hopes with me. I have learned many lessons, gained a lifetime of knowledge and was blessed with many new friendships through my work with SpeakOUT. I want to thank each of our members - especially the founding ones who came to my very first meeting when I was green, nervous and very late since my husband was in urgent care at the time! I want to thank the community leaders who welcomed me, taught me and eventually had to put up with me as one of them. I want to thank those who were less than welcoming - you only made me work harder. I want to thank each and every person who donated their time or

I am Seeking out social justice for the LGBT community started as a spark inside me the summer of 2003...and it grew into the birth of SpeakOUT the following year. This organization is truly a labor of love - it is something I have done as a volunteer for six years. There are no words adequate enough to express how much I wish this letter was not necessary. There was so much more that I had hoped to accomplish. Over the past year, I have tried several things (such as suspending our monthly meetings) to ensure that SpeakOUT would endure. In the end, however, these changes proved to be not enough. I want to assure you that I have also actively sought out a replacement for myself as the acting Director, but after a year, I have failed to locate anyone willing to do so.

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money to our organization. I also want to thank the Columbus GLBT community for welcoming a straight, suburban mom & wife into their community - I am honored to be a member. Lastly, I want to thank my family: Brian, Meaghan and Brandon. All of them have supported me in this effort and I can truly say without them SpeakOUT would never have existed. All of them have sacrificed time with me and given their energy (sometimes not by choice) to support SpeakOUT. It makes me proud that my family “walks the walk” even when it isn’t the easiest choice. I’m so grateful to have been able to share my experiences with them. I won’t be surprised if one of my kids grows up to be their school’s GSA president. (I just hope I can restrain myself from running it myself!) So to wrap up all official business: The remaining funds in our bank account will be donated to the Athens PFLAG Chapter. I feel that this growing ally organization is in the most need and I cannot think of a better location to build a base of active allies in Ohio. I will also be donating the massive amount of literature that I’ve accumulated over the years to this organization. Our last “official” sponsorship will be at this year’s TransOhio Trangender and Ally Symposium, where we are donating a gift basket to be raffled off. If you would like to continue to keep up with me and my activities as an active ally, I invite you to follow me on Twitter at AlliesSpeakOUT. On there, I plan on sending out tweets regarding action alerts and so forth. It’s not the update, but its close. I will keep my email account active - so you can always reach me at SpeakOUT_cols@yahoo.com. I’m not ending this with good-bye because I still plan on being out there volunteering, staying active and speaking out wherever an ally voice is needed. Please join me...there is still much work to be done and plenty of potential allies to reach. Editors Note: Cheri thank you so much for your work in helping fight for our rights and freedoms. You have been and will continue to be an inspiration us. We wish you and your family the best. Words cannot convey our gratitude.

A megaphone is a large funnel-shaped device for amplifying and directing the voice. Megatron is the evil leader of the Decepticons.

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A Wise Latina Woman (or “Lipstick on an Obispo”) by Mickey Weems As Sonia Sotomayor goes through the process to confirm her as a Supreme Court justice, her opponents work hard to shut her up.

Deseo tener ojos para verte Ya le sirvieran sólo de llorarte When before, wanting to please you Desiring to have eyes to see you Now they only serve to mourn you

This is nothing new. Here is the story of another wise Latina woman who lived in Mexico 300 At the departure of María Luisa, another years ago. viceroy’s wife she loved years later, Juana wrote: Sor (Sister) Juana Inés de la Cruz (1648-1695 CE) was an outspoken supporter of women’s Ser mujer, ni estar ausente education, poet, musician, playwright, theolo- No es de amarte impedimento gian, and a Roman Catholic nun. Although si- Pues sabes tú, que las almas lenced in her lifetime, her words reverberate Distancia ignoran y sexo louder and stronger than any of her haters. Today, she is an icon for the Lesbian community Neither being a woman nor being far away and feminists worldwide. Stops me from loving you For you well know that souls Born to Learn Ignore distance and gender Born in central Mexico. Juana Inés was the illegitimate daughter of Isabel Ramírez, a criolla (woman of Spanish descent born in the Americas) who had six children from two men and did not marry either man. Sor Juana’s maternal grandfather had a large library that allowed her a broader education than that of most girls. Anything more than a basic education was considered inappropriate for women. Some say she dressed as a boy so that she could study at the University of Mexico.

Verses such as these have been interpreted by LGBTQ scholars as referring to more than just expressions of friendship. But there does not appear to be anything from her opponents condemning her for same-sex love. This could be due to conventions of the time that allowed women to express friendship in such strong terms. It could also be that the objects of Juana Inés’ affection were powerful women of the upper class and were thus beyond reproach. Bishop in Literary Drag

She was taken under the wing of Leonor Carreto, wife of the Viceroy of New Spain (what is now roughly Florida, the Caribbean, Phillipines, most of Central America, and most of the USA west of the Mississippi River). Rather than consent to being married, Juana became a nun.

She had enemies who wanted her to shut up. Pressure increased on Sor Juana to obey her spiritual superiors and behave as a woman rather than an intellectual.

Juana Inés gained fame in both Mexico and Spain for her wit and beauty. As much a celebrity as nun, she was given various names, such as décima musa (“tenth muse,” a title she shares with Sappho) and: fénix de Mexico (“Mexican phoenix”).

Things got worse when Manuel Fernández de Santa Cruz, bishop of Puebla, wrote a letter telling Sor Juana to stop writing on intellectual subjects, and to become an obedient (and silent) daughter of the Church. The bishop pretended he was a fellow nun in the letter, and signed it “Sor Filotea.”

Born to Love Juana Inés was able to consort with the rich and famous because of Lenor Carreto, and the two women appear to have loved each other deeply. When Carreto died in 1674, Juana Inés wrote three sonnets, one with this verse: Pues si antes, ambicioso de gosarte

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Two years later, Sor Juana finally gave in to the haters and quit writing. She sold her vast library, scientific instruments, and musical instruments, and gave the money to charity. In 1695, she died while caring for other members of her order who were struck with the plague.

much so that she has been printed on Mexican money. Her picture has been featured on the 1000 peso note and the 200 peso note. Her songs are still performed, and her poem “Hombres necios “ (“Foolish Men” in which she scolds men who insult women for both refusing and allowing men to have sex with them) is still popular.

Gay and Mexican Icon

Juana Inés has been adopted by the LGBTQ community in Mexico as the Gay equivalent of a patron saint. Her status as a nun and her fame as a Roman Catholic theologian have been Manuel Fernández was a friend and confidant used by Gay activists as a means of mediating of Sor Juana. Not fooled by the pseudonym, Sor between LGBTQ and Catholic identities. El Juana wrote a response to “Sor Filotea.” In this Clóset de Sor Juana (“Sister Juana’s Closet”) is response, which has become a feminist classic, a Lesbian organization that is dedicated to civil rights for women and diverse sexual orientaJuana Inés defends the right of women to entions. gage in intellectual inquiry. All the while, she addresses Manuel as if he were indeed a Regardless of controversy about her sexual oriwoman, even though she knew damned well entation, Sor Juana is venerated in Mexico, so the letter was lipstick on a obispo. Ever see Dune? Anything here kinda remind you of that? Who wants to unscrew her plug?

So keep your chin up, Sonia Sotomayor! You walk in the shoes of millions of wise Latina women who came before you. When you feel irritated beyond belief by the dullards who seek to take you down and shut you up, remember that Sor Juana and your fellow Puerto Rican Sylvia Rivera, the unstoppable transwoman of Stonewall, also had to put up with legions of hombres necios and mujeres necias. And don’t forget to extend your famed empathy to the LGBTQ community when you join the Supremes.

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COMMUNITY RESOURCES

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Oneofthiscity’smostactiveresourceareTheOhioStateUniversityalumni.Thereareover230chaptersaroundtheworld.GOBUCKS!

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A Memory and A Religious Movement? by The Most Reverend Phillip Zimmerman, ThD RSJ, Metropolitan Archbishop, Presiding Bishop I remember that in 1975, when I was in 8th grade, my mother bought me a new suit for my class photograph. This suit, to my young senses, was ugly, uncomfortably ill fitting and one of the most hideous colors I had ever seen (it was a neon purple). Add to it a pink ruffled shirt … it was a nightmare out of control! I was absolutely mortified when I saw myself in the mirror! Even in a time that seemed to revel in incredibly questionable fashion, this suit was pretty bad. Quite frankly, it reminded me of something that Batman’s arch-nemesis, The Joker, would wear. After wearing it for the photograph, that suit mysteriously and quickly “disappeared,” never to be see the light of day again. When it comes to matters of faith, particularly Christian denominations, many LGBTQ people have a sense of something that is uncomfortable, ill fitting, unwelcoming or judgmental. As a result, many LGBTQ people leave these denominations. Some find faith traditions that are more reflective of their value system, some wander through life seeking the meaning and purpose of life and faith and others completely turn their back on faith. As I reflect on matters of faith, particularly Judeo-Christian traditions, I always keep in mind the words of St. Augustine, “I have a terrible religion, but I have an incredible spirituality.” Too often, it seems that we focus on religiousity at the expense of our spirituality. Too often… far too often… ministers, priests and rabbis - and I must include members of the congregations - seem to be concerned more with the letter of the law of faith, rather than the purpose and meaning of faith! When this happens, people are terribly harmed, most especially those who are considered to be “different.” To the great and lasting shame of the church, LGBTQ people have been demonized, devalued and judged by many Christian denominations, in spite of the mandate from Jesus the Christ that “judge not lest you be judged.” And yet, these judgmental “churches” often wonder why LGBTQ people turn away from them. Many simply do not comprehend that no one has the right to make others feel that they are a third class or invisible citizen in a church, temple, mosque or community. What incredible courage it takes to leave a part of your life, your culture, your heritage behind! But when a person does take this leap of faith, what then fills the void? In my own spiritual journey, I have experienced a rich diversity of Christian traditions. Yet, it seemed that, too often, I was reexperiencing that difficult 8th grade moment, where nothing felt comfortable, nothing seemed “right” and nothing “fit” my life or spiritual needs. After many false starts and disappointing experiences, I simply gave up the idea of being a member of a faith tradition. There was, in matters of organized religion, nothing out there for me. Nothing seemed to fit!

By its own mandate to love unconditionally, the church has a moral obligation to be welcoming to all people, regardless of who they are, who they love, how they vote, or what finances they may or may not possess. If not, I believe that the church ceases to exist and instead is replaced with a network of exclusive clubs where the select few may partake in parish or community life. The world has enough clubs, wouldn’t you agree? Eventually, in my long search for something that better matched my spiritual needs, I found what I was looking for! In this day of religious controversy, mega-church madness, and swing to conservatism, there is a religious movement underway that has not caught the attention of the mainstream community. The emergent church, in all of its rich diversity of traditions, is beginning to take root, not only in this country, but across the globe. The emergent church movement includes both liturgical, catholic/orthodox and protestant communities that have re-envisioned the church, not as it is, but as it can be and have taken the position that all people, most especially LGBTQ people, are welcomed at the table, exactly as they are. Unfortunately, many of these communities, because of their smaller sizes, lack the financial means or staff to make themselves better known to the public. In spite of this obstacle, many of these churches are engaged in amazing outreach ministries in the communities they serve. Here in Columbus, there are a number of independent, emergent churches, temples and faith communities that serve the LGBTQ community. Across the city, from high church Catholic Tradition to Slain in the Spirit Pentecostals, these faith communities are reaching out and welcoming home those whom the mainstream church has judged to be “sinful” or “unworthy” to come to the table. For those who are searching for a new spiritual home, I recommend that you take the opportunity to experience these communities and give them prayerful consideration. You may find that you will be pleasantly surprised! As the Presiding Bishop of The Reformed Catholic Church, an emergent church of the Independent Sacramental Movement, I am pleased to share with you that our community has chosen to take a leap of faith by opening a new Cathedral in Columbus. The Ascension of Our Lord Parish is honored to serve the people of our city, and welcomes you to share in our parish, wherever you are on this journey we call life. To my sister and brother clergy who fight for the rights of all people, may God continue to bless you, your ministries and those whom you serve. For those who choose to judge others, may I ask you to put down the judge’s gavel and pick up a shepherd’s staff? The world will be a better place if you do. Together, whether we belong to the mainstream or emergent tradition, may we sing a new church into being! My suit now fits… it’s comfortable and I even like the color!

So many of us in the LGBTQ community seem to feel that way. Many of us are searching for something that is comfortable, feels “right,” and “fits.” What a joy it is when we are blessed to find churches, temples, or faith communities that value us for who and what we are: wonderful gifts from God.

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Ascension of Our Lord is located at 787 East Broad Street, Columbus, Ohio 43205 The Parish Phone number is 614.358.4487. To learn more about The Reformed Catholic Church, please visit their web presence, www.reformedcatholicchurch.org. photo by Danner-Morris

Catholics believe that at the Eucharist is the actual body and blood of Christ. That is why the priest down the wime and lick up the crumbs after.

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Is that You, God? It’s me, Viva.

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From Ivory Tower toOpenDoor CPD Chief Changing Policies and Attitudes from the Top Down by Michael Daniels There’s a new Chief in town, and the difference is palpable. After two decades of cloister under his predecessor, Columbus Police Chief Walter Distelzweig has opened up doors, opened up conversations, and opened up the department to the citizenry of Columbus. I recently had the opportunity to sit down with the Chief – the first time in outlook’s history that we’ve been granted an interview – in his office atop 120 Marconi and learn more about the man and his mission.

automatic fingerprint systems, the Internet, and we’re even on Facebook and other social media sites.” Keeping abreast of technology is critical and a constant struggle, he said, “because we’re always trying to stay one step ahead of the bad guys. But we have great people in the Division who work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to serve and protect our citizens.”

bias crimes officer] position and re-establishing that connection to the community.”

I asked the Chief what his thoughts were on affinity groups – such as a GLBT officers group – within the department. “For the division as a whole, I think many of those distinctions are immaterial,” he said. “If we’re meeting the needs of the community as a Distelzweig has commissioned a total whole, it doesn’t matter if the officer is review of the Division as his tenure be- black, or female, or gay. Having said gins. “We’re looking at all positions that, I know that there are prayer from this office down,” he said. “We’re groups and other types of groups of ofcollaborating with the Deputy Chiefs ficers that meet informally, and I don’t Chief Distelzweig’s tenure with CPD and Commanders to look at how best have a problem with that. I wouldn’t dates back to 1972 when he joined the to continue to adapt and serve. For us have any problem with other [affinity] force, taking his first patrol assignto progress, to move forward, the ingroups meeting, but as public serment in a 1-officer car on the City’s come tax initiative is critical.” vants, we can’t do that on the clock. South Side. Since then, his assignThose officers would have to meet on ments have included patrol, helicopter Without passage of the City’s income their own time, but I think that would unit, business and personnel, training, tax levy, up to 600 police and fire posi- be fine.” and his immediate past assignment tions may have to be eliminated. outas Deputy Chief in administration. The look endorsed the income tax levy in There are two aspects of the Division Chief is a graduate of Ohio Dominican last month’s issue, and the levy is on a about which the Chief is passionate: University where he earned a Bache- special election ballot on August 4. homeland security functions and lors degree in Criminal Justice, Central training. “One thing to remember is Michigan University where he received “Our primary priority is the officers on that 9/11 was 8 years ago and some his Masters degree, and the FBI Napatrol in the neighborhoods,” the Chief citizens – and some folks in policing – tional Academy. He is retired from the said. “That’s been the priority of the have fallen asleep, but homeland seOhio Army National Guard after 21 Department for quite some time, and curity continues to be a top priority.” years of service as an Army Aviator pi- hasn’t changed with my coming in. loting the UH-1 Huey Helicopter, and We’ve also held a series of community The other priority is training. “When currently holds the rank of Captain in meetings, listening to citizens and budgets get tight, training is somethe Civil Air Patrol. He is also a proud taking in their concerns. We’re hearing times the first thing people want to member of the Columbus Police and loud and clear that Community Liaison slash, and that’s absolutely the wrong Fire Pipes and Drums. Officers and High School Resource Of- thing to do. In 2011, we will have 100 ficers are important to everyone.” We members of the Division retiring with I asked him how he got his start in law concur – communities such as the the DROP program, and so we’re takenforcement. “That was 36 years GLBT community must have officers to ing a look right now at implementing ago,” he grinned. “I had worked in the whom they feel connected in order to mentoring and training programs to funeral business and discovered that maintain a good communication flow, make sure that we have people ready serving the public was an aspect of and queer youth must have Liaison Of- and qualified to take over the critical my life that was more than a job – it ficers that can protect them from anti- functions, such as SWAT, SRB, and was a calling. Police and fire were nat- GLBT bullying and violence in our Crime Scene Investigations.” ural fits, and I chose to join the police schools. department as my way of serving my As we ended our conversation, the community and giving back.” “We’re looking at two scenarios,” the Chief once again emphasized what we Chief continued. “One is what hapbelieve is the biggest change to come I couldn’t resist. “Did you ever consider pens if the tax doesn’t pass and how along with his appointment – openpolitics as a public service venue,” I we’d have to restructure with fewer of- ness. “My door is always open to all asked. ficers. The other is what happens if the communities and all citizens,” he said tax does pass and how we’d reallocate proudly. “Call me, I’m accessible.” “No,” was his definitive reply. “I’m no the force to better serve the City.” politician. In this job, since it’s apDon’t worry Chief, we will, and we look pointed by the Mayor, I’ve become a Former Chief James Jackson elimiforward to a productive and ongoing public figure, but no, a politician I’m nated the position of a dedicated bias dialog. not.” crimes officer, moving reporting and investigation of bias crimes, including Ed Note: CPD is actively recruiting from the The City has changed significantly anti-GLBT crimes, to the Strategic Re- entire city, including the GLBT community. since Distelzweig joined the force. “It’s sponse Bureau (SRB), a division that They’ve even held an event at Stonewall’s grown tremendously in both physical is potentially on the chopping block if Center on High. Contact the minority recruiting unit at 614.645.4642. The Chief size and population,” he said, “but the the tax increase fails. Distelzweig is also encourages everyone to take a few biggest change has been in technol- aware of a strong desire to reinstate moments and fill out a community survey ogy. When I started, we didn’t even such a position, and gave me his as- to make your concerns and opinions about have walkie-talkies. Now we have ad- surance that, if the tax increase the Division known – online at vanced communications, computers, passes, he will “take a look at [the www.columbuspolice.org.

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Policeofficersareoftencalled‘cops’-whichderivesfromthefactthattheirbadgesusedtobemadeofcopper.

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Hey when did the Village People get back to gether. Didn’t the Native American die?

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phies of the leaders, I knew Arbonne was right for me.

Arbonne Calling!

Kimm Hrdlicka by Chris Hayes

- 18 years ago when I began. With the Baby Boomers generation getting older - and wiser I knew a huge wave of alternative health options was soon coming and we would catch up to Europe and Asia’s beliefs. I also personally believe in natural products vs chemical-based lines so I loved the healthy product lines and Arbonne was a perfect fit for me.

If you’ve ever been to Network Columbus, then odds are you know Kimm Hrdlicka. The bubbly, smart and sweet Independent Area Manager for Arbonne International skin care is a quintessential networker. As an independent sales rep she has to be. We caught up with this month’s big fish to find out more about this redheaded rock star, trends in skin CH: You are one of the most successful sales care and being an entrepreneur. reps in the country, how long did it take you to get there? What were your ups and downs along the way? CH: Tell me how you got into the Arbonne KH: When I began nearly two decades ago, I Business. Where were you working before? looked at the company of Arbonne and discovWhat was your journey there? ered it was becoming a strong leader in the KH: Before Arbonnne, I had many careers. I natural health and wellness field and was alworked as a job recruiter, company general ready 12 years old, so I knew it was financially manager, advertising rep. The most intriguing stable. There were only a few hundred reprewas private investigator, but that’s a whole sentatives in Ohio at that time so the Buckeye other article! Every career involved selling. Peo- state was a great place to start. ple don’t realize that they are selling all the time. Whether it’s themselves at an interview or I was able to meet our Founder from Europe network function or convincing co-workers and whose mission was to help individuals with the even family members to do something their products and compensation - then turn around way. I love selling - it’s what makes the world and help our communities. It was all about givgo round. ing back and helping each other. I loved and live this philosophy then and now. I met our CH: What makes Arbonne different from U.S. President, Rita Davenport, whose experiother companies? Why did you choose Arence, positive energy and vision was far beyond bonne over say Avon? what we individually could see for ourselves KH: I had the option to sell another direct prod- and the company, and which we have exuct line but I chose Arbonne because natural ceeded. After studying the compensation plan, health products were a new concept in the U.S. trying the products and learning the philoso-

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But, you’re not compensated for not working hmmmm, sounds like some of those corporate CEO’s should have been on this plan! You must Direct selling, in the early 90’s, was still suspi- have drive and a good work ethic to succeed cious to many, but reading books by Alvin Tof- and better your current condition. We are called fler and Faith Popcorn, who are geniuses Independent Consultants not Co-dependent of predicting trends in marketing, convinced Consultants after all. Direct selling/Muli-level me that the time was ripe and the future bright marketing is one of the fasted growing types of for our Direct Selling industry. business today and is taught at many colleges and universities. And we’ve only just begun, the Interestingly enough they predicted, more than biggest wave is still coming. a decade before, that most consumers, after 2000 will be getting their goods and services in CH: This issue is all about the Modern Man three main ways, on-line sources, direct sellers and Woman. Traditionally skin care product & catalogues. Retail shopping would decrease consumption is dominated by woman. Is that sharply and that consumers would want more trend changing? Do you see that trend personal service and care when spending their flipped in the GLBT community? money. Also, businesses would return to the KH: The trends for men vs women using makehome and family would become a priority up and skin care have changed throughout the again. Many business people scoffed - look ages. Historically men in many countries inwho’s laughing now! cluding Egypt & France wore more make-up than women - I love that men are going back to You asked me about how and why I’m success- bettering their appearance through healthy ful, let me state plainly that I feel very success- skin care and make up. Thank you Adam Lamful with Arbonne, though I’m not at the position bert for wearing eyeliner! I desire... yet. Success to me is living my life on purpose. I have been able to be a wife, mom CH: Did the rise of the “metrosexual” help and step-mother and really be there when it your business with men in general or more was important for our family. I’ve been able to with partners who started buying stuff for adopt many abandoned animals and because I their men? Do you worry work from home, they are spoiled rotten. I’ve that the trend of men taking care of thembeen on many community boards and an offi- selves will reverse? cer for 4 service organizations. I’ve volunteered, KH: My male clients fall into 3 chaired and raised funds for causes I am pas- categories...younger than 35 and hip, divorced sionate about including children, animals and and back on the market and gay health connature. Arbonne also is aligned and scious men. Out of the GLBT community, gay benefits these three. We don’t test on animen are mostly my clients I would like to entice mals, which is rare in the health and beauty in- more lesbians, transgenders and bisexuals to dustry, we give to shelters that benefit women try Arbonne if they’re into good healthy prodand children and we’re friends of the environ- ucts and a gorgeous appearance. You asked if ment. My journey with Arbonne and life are still the trend for men to use such products will recontinuing and I’m even more excited about the verse soon - noooo, it’s just beginning and will future than I was when I started. continue long after I retire, thankfully! CH: In this economy people are cutting back everywhere, especially on things they consider luxury items. How has that affected your sales and what are you doing to try and counter the trend? KH: The direct selling businesses are thriving in this recession. Reasons are good products at a decent price (by cutting out the retail middle men) and it’s a fantastic supplemental income or full income if you desire. Yes, our pay plan in Arbonne is very well laid out to make money, better than most, due to our Founder’s wish to always support the Consultants in the field first, then home office, then the board. We consultants just got a 15% pay increase this year! Recession, what recession? CH: How is the Arbonne system set up? Do you have a team under you? How does that filter into compensation? KH: In our industry, we make money on those we train and who they train and so on - it’s called multi-level marketing. It’s a beautiful business system and one corporate America should adopt. Our goals are to help others and spur them onto success and by doing so, we’re compensated with higher pay and title. What a great concept - help everyone to succeed and you will too!

CH: What advice do you have for people who want to start their own business? If someone wants to become an Arbonne Rep, what should they do? KH: Kimm’s tips for picking a company for you: • Check on the company’s philosophies, age, leadership, training tools, and whether they are a DSA member - Direct Selling Association. • Pick a product line you’re passionate about and best if it is a consumable product so resales come easily. Sample as much of the line as you can and be your own best client. You can’t sell what you haven’t tried. • Don’t think this is a get-rich-quick industry. You must put in time and yes, some money to start your journey to success. Work consistently and you’ll be rewarded exponentially with recognition, rewards, personal growth and of course money. My dream is to have a few people from the community to represent Arbonne and make the income I’m making now from the GLBT clients. If you’re interested, call me! If you want to try samples of Arbonne and chat about our company to see if it’s a fit for you, please call Kimm Hrdlicka-Tigges 614.888.2150 or email kimmh@fromtheheart12.com - mention Outlook.

KimmisasponsorofNetworkColumbusandoftenbringsdoorprizestotheevents.CometrytowinoneAug12@Members1stCreditUnion.

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Hi, Dr Kover! Happy (slightly belated) Birthday!

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Eat at Jeni’s all you want. If you get cavities, Rolo will fix them!

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Four Questions for Getting Unstuck by Tom Moon, MFT When Corey comes to see me he is consumed with hurt and rage. Two years ago his partner, Lyle, “who was the love of my life,” abruptly moved out of their home and disappeared while Corey was at work. In the following days Corey discovered that Lyle had been sexually involved with Lyle’s “best friend” for more than a year, and that the two had left the state together, financing their move with money that Lyle had stolen from Corey. In our first meeting, Corey tells me that he spends most of his waking hours so preoccupied with angry and vengeful thoughts that his life has come to a standstill. He wants to let go and move on, but feels completely stuck. Together we try a number of methods to get him unstuck, and what finally does it is a process of self-examination developed some years ago by a woman named Byron Katie. Katie was not a mental health professional, but a self-employed businesswoman and mother of three, who, beginning in her early thirties, was “completely depressed, suicidal, stuck in total pain and self-loathing.” During a two-year period she was so immobilized that she was often unable to get out of bed for days or weeks at a time. One morning, in a sudden moment of life-changing insight, she saw that her suffering came from her thoughts about her situation – my life is horrible, I don’t deserve happiness - not from the situation itself. She began to laugh as she realized a simple truth: when she believed her thoughts she suffered, and when she didn’t she was happy.

Lyle to admit he hurt and betrayed me, and I need him to offer apologies and restitution.” Here is an abbreviated summary of our discussion: Is this idea true? ”Yes!” Can you absolutely know that it’s true? ”Well, no, I can’t really know what would happen if he ever did actually come clean with me. Maybe I’d be happier and maybe I wouldn’t feel any different than I do right now. I’m not much of an expert on how to be happy.” How do you react when you believe that thought? “I feel heavy, bitter, weighed down. I feel vengeful. And I feel helpless because he has to do something in order for me to be happy, and he isn’t doing it.” Who would you be without the thought? “I’d feel a lot lighter and happier, that’s for sure. Lyle would finally really be gone from my life. When I think about him all the time it’s like he’s still with me every day.” Okay, now turn the thought around into its opposite. “The first thing that occurs to me is that I don’t need anything from Lyle in order to be happy. It’s believing that I do that is keeping me unhappy.” As we talk further, another turnaround occurs to him. “I need to admit that I’m hurting myself every time I obsess about him, and instead of waiting for him to apologize maybe I need to apologize to myself for what I’m doing to me.”

In the weeks that follow, Corey asks these four questions every time he finds himself ruminating about Lyle, and is gratified that his destructive preoccupation gradually melts away. Corey’s experience is not unusual. In my work I’ve found Byron Katie’s process to be a simple, but highly effective tool for opening the mind and expanding perspective. Many of my clients Out of this insight, she developed a process of have discovered that when they develop the self-inquiry which she now calls The Work. It habit of questioning their thoughts using the involves asking four simple questions about four questions and turnarounds, they no longer each belief which causes us pain: have to fight to control their minds or battle with painful thoughts. Instead, painful 1. Is it true? 2 Can you absolutely know that thoughts often just gradually dissolve on their it’s true? 3. How do you react when you believe own. that thought? 4. Who would you be without the thought? After answering these questions, you An important advantage of this process is that come up with a “turnaround,” a sentence ex- it is easy to learn. Most of the people I work pressing the opposite of what you believe. So, with are able to use it effectively on their own for instance, “He doesn’t understand me,” can after just a little guidance and coaching. One become “I don’t understand him,” or “I don’t easy way to begin learning how to do it is to understand myself.” I see “The Work” as a access Katie’s website, www.thework.com. form of self-directed cognitive therapy. It’s There you’ll find a step-by-step description of helped many thousands of people get out of how to do the work and a number of video their mental ruts and improve the quality of clips in which she demonstrates it with stutheir lives. dents. Together, Corey and I apply this process to his Tom Moon is a psychotherapist in San Franbelief that: “In order for me to be happy, I need cisco. His website is tommoon.net.

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The first commercially viable bubblegum product, Blow Gum, seems to have been produced by the Shelby Gum Company of Shelby Ohio in 1924.

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Got Change Yet? by Deborah Steele

Yet for the biggest corporate polluters – spitting tons of global warming pollution What would compel someone to rappel into the air – it’s business as usual. We’re down the side of a national monument doing our part. Now we need to make sure knowing they will be arrested when they that our elected officials do theirs. We reach the bottom? In a recent event, it was need leadership from the top to shut down the knowledge of participating in somedirty energy for good. thing bigger, and infinitely more significant than the individual act. On July 8th, a Greenpeace is working right here in central team of Greenpeace activists hung a ban- Ohio to push our elected officials to take ner on the face of Mt. Rushmore, remind- strong, immediate action to address cliing President Obama that “America honors mate change. We can solve this problem, leaders, not politicians.” Around the same but it is going to take all of us. This past time, hundreds of climate activists occu- presidential election provided a reminder pied and shut down five coal-fired power of the power of a grassroots movement. To plants in Italy, where world leaders were address climate change we need a movemeeting to discuss climate change. While ment just as large, and just as strong. the political response to crisis of climate Americans have always found the courage change has been lukewarm, at best, the to face down huge obstacles. We turned urgency of global warming is creating a back the fascists in World War II, we new breed of activist – individuals who marched in the streets for civil rights, and are willing to take direct action for the we continue to fight for marriage equality. greater good. There are more and more Working together we can create a new enpeople around the world ready to take bold ergy economy and prevent the climate action. We can no longer afford complafrom spinning out of control. cency from our elected officials when it comes to addressing climate change. They In December the United Nations will meet work for us, and it’s long past time that we in Copenhagen to create a new global hold them accountable. agreement on the climate. To make those negotiations successful, the US will need People understand that the world is to have policies at home that invest heavchanging. There have been too many ily in renewable energy and put strict sci“hundred year floods” lately, too many ence-based limits on pollution with no dangerous windstorms and extreme tem- loopholes or giveaways for big polluters perature shifts. If you feel overwhelmed by like the coal industry. Rebuilding our enstories of disappearing ice caps and rising ergy economy with clean, renewable energy sea levels you are not alone. Unfortunately, will provide two to three times as many Congress and the President have failed to jobs, at half the cost of trying to meet our deliver the kind of visionary leadership it energy demands with dirty, dangerous enwill take to stop global warming. That’s ergy sources like coal and nuclear. The enwhere we come in. In politics, leaders are ergy industry does not want you to know made, not born. They are made through these facts. They don’t want you to work the hard work and sacrifice of individuals side by side with your friends and commuwho demand a better world. This is not a nity to help change how we create energy time to be silently frustrated, it is time to or to hold our elected officials accountbe active and join with your friends and able. But we CAN make a difference. Volneighbors to take action, and demand unteer with Greenpeace and become part leadership from our elected officials. of the green energy revolution that must take place. We have the solutions that can One of the many things that holds us create green jobs, and allow us to avoid apart from the generations that came be- the worst impacts of global warming. Now, fore us is that we live in a truly global so- all we need is the political will to make it ciety. Our actions impact billions of people happen. This grassroots movement needs the world over. Therefore, we are collecthe momentum of the community of tively responsible for our future. Climate Columbus, and we need you to be the change is global problem, which requires change we have all heard so much about. a global solution. Many of us have already started making changes in our own lives. Deborah Steele is Field Organizer for Columbus’s We have been using more efficient light Greenpeace office. For more info: bulbs and appliances, driving less, biking www.greenpeace.org or 614.323.1703. more, or maybe even buying a hybrid car.

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Carved1927-41intheBlackHillsofSouthDakota,MtRushmoreisknownforitsgiantbusts-justlikePaigePassion.

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Cooping Mechanisms by Mette Bach

Times are tough and people are paranoid. At least this is what the newspaper headlines and my friends tell me. It’s not that I’m tired of hearing about the economic crisis, but I am tired of hearing about it in the same old way. When a friend called and asked if I would come over and help her prepare her new chicken coop, I was thrilled. I’ve never hauled hay before. Why not? Now that it’s legal to keep chickens in the city, some of the dykes I know are determined to live off the land. Where once they were part-time gardeners, now they are fully committing themselves to an optimistic vision of sustainable food production, literally in their own backyards. Yet this friend, a painter and a Gertrude Stein look alike who lives alone with her dog, is preparing for the coming depression. As we carried haystacks from her truck to the outer edge of her garden, she pointed out that we have to take care of ourselves and each other because when things collapse the government is not going to be able to help. I’ve never met an anarchist I didn’t like but her scarcity

mentality freaked me out. She is convinced that keeping chickens and growing her own vegetables is her only chance of survival. I thought I was paranoid for stashing water and canned goods. My friend is well over the legal limit of chickens. Until we finish building the coop, the chickens are hanging out in her basement, under heat lamps. They eat, chirp and sit around. I held one and became immediately attached and didn’t want to hear about how my friend was planning on cooking it. I know it’s my own urban bias but it was awkward to look my new fowl friend in the eye knowing that she’d eventually be smothered in barbeque sauce. Yet it’s no less awkward that I’ve grown up so detached from my food sources that I think of chicken as something that comes plastic-wrapped in a Styrofoam tray. Whether the looming economic crisis turns into a full-fledged depression or not, there’s something beautiful about my friend and her chickens. This is a woman who is pro-active, making plans and looking to take care of herself and her community. She is making environmentally sound decisions. She is aiming for self-sufficiency and a healthy planet. Even if she is motivated by paranoia, my friend’s new lifestyle serves us all well. I have been trying not to think too much about global economics. Instead, I’m picking up a few skills, learning how to turn chicken poop into compost and how to gather eggs without getting pecked. It’s a brave new world, even in the city.

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Guess how many lighthouses there are in this issue and win a chance to raid our stash. Enter at outlookcolumbus.com

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21


Love Your NoMos and Your Homos

by Chris Hayes

by without JC being able to find a place. As I saw him taking over the family room and growing Back in NY I lived, like many of us did, with sev- more comfortable, I decided I wanted my couch eral people in a modest two-bedroom apartment. back, and so invited JC to bunk with me so we Most of my roommates were actors, so there was could have a living space again. He, without always a changing cast of characters as people blinking, accepted and we ended up platonically went on national tours or summer stock or rehab. sharing that bed for 6 months till I moved to LA. During one rotation, we took in our roommate Rocky’s work acquaintance JC who was moving to Now I know many of you are going to jump to contown from St Louis and needed a couch to crash clusion about that situation. I can hear ya’ll now: on while he found a place. Now Rocky wasn’t liv- Sure it was platonic. I bet they did it on the DL all ing at Apt 1U at the time. He was hanging out in the time. He must have been in love with JC. JC is Niagara Falls with our gay Aunt Judith renovating obviously in the closet. I bet I could have got that hotels during the day and torturing the naked straight man…etc. But none of that is true. Unstrippers of Toronto at night. Scott and I had fortunately, for some reason, any straight guy grown accustom to having the luxury of our own that hangs around us gay often gets tagged as a bedrooms when we got the call we were getting closet case or something to convert. Why is there an intake. Now mind you, Rocky nor we had ever such a strong need or want in our community for met JC in person. Rocky only worked with JC over that to be true? Can’t we just have straight best the phone as someone who was in charge of friends that are just friends? If they can accept shipping their construction material, as well as, us as gay, why can’t we accept them as straight? someone who was in charge of those things falling off the truck. We knew he was straight and Think of the reverse. How many times have we a scam artist. Sounds perfect, no? heard from stupid girls/guys, “Ahh if only you were straight, I would totally do you;” or “God, If ever the term “jackass” more appropriately fit- what a waste that you’re gay.” I guess they think ted to someone it was JC. He is the epitome of a is a compliment and we’re supposed to smile cocky straight guy that you might find at a sports and say thanks. In reality it’s demeaning and babar and avoid at all costs. He loves strippers, sically saying you’re good enough the way they fighting, misogyny and “dirty Asian whores.” He’s are. The subtext: straight it better. the guy you’d expect to not like gays, let a lone hang out with them. At least that’s how he apWe as gay people get that sentiment engrained pears on the outside. into us at an early age and it’s hard to shake. Straights often just don’t get it. Of course they Suffice it to say I was skeptical at best that we argue against it when you bring it up. But then would all get along and hoped that he would find when you try and turn it around on them by saya place quickly to move to. Surprisingly, we being something like “Ahh, if only you ate pussy, you came quick friends. I soon found his vibrato was would be perfect!,” it sets them off. Implying that more bark then bite, especially if he wasn’t they would be better off gay, leads to a disgusted around other douche bags. And his humor was look and confusion. You can see it in their eyes horribly inappropriate and I loved it. Weeks went it’s the I’m fine that you’re gay, I just wouldn’t

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want to be look. They just can’t imagine being gay would at all be better.

and I’ve got it: NoMo.

NoMo, what the hell is that you ask? Well it came out of a party I had. There were a diverse group of friends there, about half of which didn’t know each other. Realizing he couldn’t quite compreIt is a paramount question, which we all grapple hend the sexuality landscape that was before with, that is presupposed by our obsession with him, my friend Edward asked who was gay and wanting to convert our friendly straight friends. who wasn’t. I pointed around the room saying Not knowing your own answer to it leads you to try “homo, not a homo, homo, homo, not a homo, not find it in other people - in good ways or bad ways. a homo, homo, NoMo…” and that slip of the It’s not truth, it’s reaction. If you’re gay but you tongue dawned a new term. NoMo = Not a Homo. don’t think being gay is better than, or equal to, Subtext: they’re cool. Don’t fuck with them. being straight, you’re going to react against that which oppresses you. You’ll want to bring down It’s simple. It’s direct. It cuts out the bullshit. It’s the straighties to your level. But trying to bag the kinda fun to say. Try it out! Say it out loud! straight guy is like when your parents say maybe you just haven’t found the right lady yet. Maybe One of my NoMo’s is Tony. Many of you know my Sarah, you should try dating a guy from the buddy as the straight guy on Cassie’s softball church. Those statements say they know what’s team. (Many of you heathens have ogled him best. Why do we want to assume what’s best for doing his soccer stretches to warm up. If you other people. Why? Because it makes us more se- want to see him doing them again, ya need to be cure about ourselves. Since we were often picked less obvious.) Tony, like JC, hangs with a lot gay on for being too prissy a boy or too tomboy a girl, men, comfortably. We work out together. He’s not and that’s what “gave us away,” that when we afraid to show me affection. He’s not uncomfortsee that in other people, we want to get our reable at our bars. He’s cool. He’s smart. He’s venge by outing them or “making them gay.” straight. He is the quintessential NoMo. And someone I am proud to have as my friend. But what does that really get you? Are you more secure with yourself? Is the world better for it? No, And though he’s hot, I don’t want to sleep with not at all. Instead of bringing people down, we him. And neither should you - he’s an ally to help need to bring ourselves up - and those who sup- bring us up, not someone to knock down. Love port us. your NoMos for who they are - they will love you back. But better still, love yourself for who you Besides the deep psychological reasoning beare. hind our quest for breeder conversion, I think there is a hole in our vernacular to describe our Homo sapiens or NoMo sapiens, we’re all in this straight friends in the right boundaries. There’s modest Universal apartment together. Grab a fag hag and fairy princess, but those are gender bunk. specific and not all that appealing. We need Chris Hayes in Editor-in-Chief of outlook. He’s looking forward something more encompassing and specific My question back: why would I want to be straight?

to corn festival season, which is quickly approaching.

DeVane (picture left) is one of Tony’s (pictured right) favorite homos. Captured is them checking out someone’s booty.

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• • • • • • • • • outlook’s sponsored events • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • about town • • • • • • • • ranging from pocket change to a dip in the savings pool and goods as varied as fine art ceramics BREAKFAST CLUB CYP CLUB Speaker Breakfast @ from Cynthia Vardham to croChamps Lennox, 1827 Olentangy cheted mustaches from Wholly Craft, there’s handmade options River Rd, www.cypclub.com: for everyone’s taste and budget. Local guest speaker Andrea ApFree, once you get into the Fair. plegate offers business advice while you mow down breakfast FRI, AUG 14 bagels, pastries, and coffee. 7:30a-9a; $5.

bus Zoo & Aquarium, 614.743.0104, www.columbuszoo.org: Enjoy an after hours MMMMM, MMMMMM, BUENO Sabor de Columbus @ Columbus event at the Zoo featuring music Zoo and Aquarium. The Hispanic by the Nate McDonagh Band, food and beer provided by Barley’s Chamber of Columbus proudly announces its first annual Sabor Smokehouse and Brew Pub. 21+. de Columbus event, showcasing $35 through Aug 23, $45 after. more than a dozen of Columbus’ Order online or call Subha Lembach. best in Hispanic and Latin cuisine, Sabor de Columbus (Taste INTUITION TOUR of Columbus/Flavor of Columbus) SAT, AUG 29 WED, AUG 5 Jamie Foxx @ Vets Memorial is a fun and exciting evening of Center, 300 W Broad St, food, music and dancing all with BEASTMASTER IS IT ‘AHH-MISH’ OR ‘A-MISH’ 614.221.4341, www.fcvm.com: Latino flavor and flair. Participat- Ferret Buckeye Bash @ Vets Separate from the World @ Memorial Center, 300 W Broad St, 8p; $49.75 - $69.75. He’s hip, ing vendors include Costelo’s Thurber House, 77 Jefferson Ave, he’s hot, and he’s here in the Puerto Rican Cuisine, Garcia’s In- 614.221.4341, www.fcvm.com: 614.464.1032, www.thurberCbus. You’ll kick yourself later if ternazionale Restaurant, Nicole’s 10a-5p; $5 adults, $1 children, house.org. Join former college $12 family. Come spank and you don’t attend, and then see Catering, El Vaquero, Azteca chemistry professor-turned-mys- the bootleg You Tube vids of him Catering, Baja Sol Cantina, Bar- stroke some weasels, learn why tery writer Paul Gaus as he reads going all sweaty and shirtless. you should never put them in your rio, Casa Sazón, Cazuelas Grill, from his latest book, Separate La Michoacana, Panaderia Oax- pants, and get a nose full of ferfrom the World. After retiring from SAT, AUG 15 ret funk at this pet extravaganza. aqueña, Perfect Plate Catering, the College of Wooster, Gaus and Starliner Diner. Tickets are began what has become a popu- CO-ED VOLLEYBALL THURSDAYS THROUGHOUT $25 and can be purchased by lar series of mystery novels set in Ronald McDonald House Volley- calling the Chamber at AUGUST Holmes County, Ohio. Gaus will ball Fundraiser @ Flannagan’s 614.255.6085 or online at read from his sixth and latest Dublin, 6835 Caine Rd. Slap The Wexner galleries may be www.columbushcc.com. book in the Ohio Amish Mystery around some balls in the “fun” or closed, but there’s plenty of film series, a spellbinder that explores “competitive” bracket to help to be watched @ Wexner Center FRI, AUG 21 the rift between two Amish fackeep families safe and warm for the Arts, 1871 N. High St, tions in the wake of a murder and while their children battle the MORE RIDICULOUSLY GOOD 614.292.3535, wexarts.org. LOOKING PEOPLE suicide. Gaus lives in Wooster, devastating effects of illness. Check out this lineup: Ohio, and lectures widely about www.digitforthehouse.com. Cocktails for a Cause @ COSI, Amish culture. Guests are asked 333 W Broad St, 614.228.COSI, Urban Cowboy, (James Bridges, to bring their own blankets or WE’RE NOT PEDOPHILES www.cosi.org. Join Dress For Suc- 1980) - The Graduate, (Mike lawn chairs for seating at Singing Buckeyes Harmony cess Columbus at this first anNichols, 1967) Thurber House. Parking is free Camp Show @ Vets Memorial nual gala event. Guests will enjoy Thu, Aug 6, 7p and 9:25p after 6p at the meters on Jeffer- Center, 300 W Broad St, a Roaring Twenties themed affair son Avenue. In case of rain, the 614.221.4341, www.fcvm.com: with cocktails, date auction, Jackie Brown, (Quentin Tarantino, picnic will move to the State Auto 7:30p-10:30p. fashion show, live bands, and 1997) - Fast Times at Ridgemont Insurance building, 518 E. Broad more. Benefits Dress For Success High, (Amy Heckerling, 1982) St. Complimentary tour begin at MON, AUG 17 Columbus, an organization that Thu, Aug 13, 7p and 9:40p 5:20p; the picnic starts at 6:15 offers personalized professional p.m.; and the reading is at 7p. RIDICULOUSLY GOOD LOOKING PEOPLE dressing services for disadvanThis year Thurber House is colGrand Re-Opening @ McFadtaged women returning to the New 40th Anniversary Print! Easy lecting canned and boxed goods den’s Restaurant & Saloon, 1576 workplace. Tickets and informa- Rider, (Dennis Hopper, 1969) at each picnic to donate to the N High St, 614.294.2200, tion at Thu, Aug 20, 7p Mid-Ohio Food Bank. $25/15/5. www.mcfaddenssaloon.com. www.cocktailsforacause.eventbrit Brand new patios, tvs, stage, e.com. Wex Drive-In SAT, AUG 8 dance floor and menu. Check it O Brother, Where Art Thou? (Joel out! SAT, AUG 22 Coen, 2000) CRAFTS AND CRASHES Thu, Aug 20, Dusk, Wexner Center Roller Girls Get Crafty @ Ohio THE DANIELSES MAKE IT OFFICIAL NOT THE ANAL KIND Plaza State Fair, Family Fun Pavilion. I Do @ Johnson County Iowa BeadStreet USA @ Vets Memorial Join the Ohio Roller Girls and Courthouse. Michael & Robbie do Center, 300 W Broad St, Magnolia, (Paul Thomas AnderColumbus Crafty Cotillion at a the deed in the Hawkeye State ... 614.221.4341, www.fcvm.com: son, 1999) handmade expo from 12-7p, and then they get married, too! The Purchase everything from custom Thu, Aug 27, 7p buy a variety of unique handspiritual ceremony will be in made beads to jewelry and equipmade goods from over thirty indie Columbus in Sept for friends and ment. 10a-6p; $6. Through Aug Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancraft vendors. Vendors include family, but the (not our resident) 23. croft as Mrs. Robinson, the Columbus-based favorites such state-sanctioned knot tying ocmovies’ definitive cougar. Songs as AmyD, Umbrella Girl Produccurs here. FRI, AUG 28 include “Mrs. Robinson” and tions, Poshta Design, Stinkybomb “Sounds of Silence.” (108 mins., Soap, Clinton Reno and Anne HolDON’T FORGET THE PEANUT BUTTER 35mm) man Jewelry Design. With prices Brew at the Zoo @ The ColumTUE, AUG 4

THU, AUG 20


•••••Stylings CamelLightCigarettes=$6.25 BlackFeltDurbyHat=$62.50 BlackFramedGlassesbyTriftStore=89¢ BeardAdhesive=$9.95 HairbyAnayaRobinson/phiasalon Makeup&StylebyGendalaSebastianKelliAnna

Gendala Sebastian KelliAnna starring in Victor/Victorian Village

photography by robert trautman

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11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

2 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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16 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

23 11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:30 PM Club

Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:00 PM 8:30 PM Club

Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:30 PM Club

Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:00 PM 8:30 PM Club

Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:00 PM 8:30 PM Club

Karaoke @ Q Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

4:00 PM 4:00 PM 5:00 PM 8:00 PM mers 8:00 PM 8:30 PM Club

Team Trivia Tuesdays @ Level Karaoke @ Q Top Shelf Tuesday @ Havana Cheap Date Night @ Slam!

Tues Night Jams @ James

3 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

11:00 AM Brunch & Showtunes @ U 4:30 PM Strippers @ Pyramid 6:30 PM Strippers @ Score 8:00 PM Absolut SIN @ Wall St 8:30 PM Strippers @ Exile 10:00 PM LOL Comedy Clips @ Level 10:30 PM Strippers @ Havana 11:00 PM Strippers @ Tradewinds II

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Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

10 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

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17 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q

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Tues Night Jams @ James

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

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Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

31 12:00 PM Dollar Days @ Flex 1:00 PM Happy Hour @ Tremont 5:00 PM Happy Hour @ Blazers 8:00 PM Pitchers & Pool @ Somewhere Else 8:00 PM Karaoke Monday @ U 8:00 PM Martini Monday @ Havana 9:00 PM Service Industry Night @ Level 10:00 PM Trivia & Comedy @ Q 10:00 PM Karaoke @ AWOL

1

Karaoke w DJ Dawn @ Liquid Tues Night Jams @ James

Thursday 29

4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

5 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

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22 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

15 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

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2 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

14

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

8 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

20

26 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St

7

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4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

1 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q

4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

19 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

Saturday 31

4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

4:00 PM 3 4 3 @ Level 4:00 PM 3 Wise Men @ Exile 4:00 PM Leather & Fetish @ Flex 8:00 PM Disco Night @ Martini Park 8:00 PM CW & HipHop @ Wall St 8:00 PM Long Island @ U 8:00 PM Thursday Thrust @ Tradewinds II 8:30 PM Open Mic @ James Club 10:00 PM Melt @ Liquid

12 4:00 PM Biker Bear HH @ Tradewinds II 4:00 PM LevelTini Night @ Level 7:00 PM Trivia & Karaoke @ Score 7:00 PM Fiesta Night @ U 7:00 PM Freshtastic Tunes @ Liquid 8:00 PM 3D Weds @ Q 8:00 PM Futuristic Karaoke @ Exile 10:00 PM Boy Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM Extreme Strippers @ Q

Friday 30

29 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

4 4:00 PM Get Your Mojo @ Level 7:00 PM First Friday @ Wall St 8:00 PM Flirtinis @ U 9:00 PM Live Bands @ Havana 10:00 PM DJ Pat Finn @ Q 10:00 PM College Nite @ Wall St

5 8:00 PM Margaritas @ U 10:00 PM Lesbian Dance Night @ Wall St 10:00 PM DJ Jeremy James @ Level 10:00 PM Dance Your Ass O" @ Axis 11:00 PM DJ T Cruz @ Q

www.outlookcolumbus.com new weekly content. occasional pillow biting.


The Modern (Wo)Man

by Marcus Morris Bling is Dead. It’s so dead, that Dr. Jan Gorniak has performed an autopsy. The wacky, tacky movement of glitterizing, or over-printing that our community has supported for over a decade is over. So all of you boys and girls can lay down your Ed Hardy shirts and logo-emblazoned gear, and embrace something new. Being well dressed.

information, these two brands are designed by a man named Christian Audigier. His aesthetic is to pile on the embellishment as if you were bedazzling a shirt for Linda Richman, and distress the jeans until they look like lace.

perform a function outside of making you appear horribly dressed.

The main objective for our clothes is to provide cover against the elements. Secondly, they have to function for us in society; whether that is at The progression of Tom Ford at Gucci to Ed the workplace, when we play, or when we go to Hardy is one that lightly tells the story of the the grocery. So, why not streamline what we mainstream gay aesthetic in the last decade. have into functional clothes? My husband is a We went from coveting clothes designed by a big believer in the idea that everything has a cocky, cute stylish designer of an Italian luxury place, purpose, or reason, so eliminating the brand, to being dressed by a bloated Frenchman things that do not work is the first-step. In the late 1990’s, after the Prada-led wave of who covers all of his clothes with tattoo designs. minimalist dressing, our community attached You cannot walk into Union without seeing an Suspenders? I bought them thinking I was going themselves to the designs of Tom Ford, who was Ed Hardy shirt. to stage a comeback for the belt alternative, but then a designer at Gucci, and the rock-inspired wore them once, felt stupid, and really should clothes of Roberto Cavalli and Dolce and GabThe influence of Mr. Audigier is without a doubt. give them away. I looked, and you probably did bana. These were not clothes for a wallflower. But does this mean we are all represented by too, like a hipster lumberjack. The only wood one More, they were clothes for a cocky lead-singer the bloated Frenchman? To say that these is handling in the Short North does not require of a horrible band. clothes are tacky is an understatement. When pants, and so the suspenders are a waste, and did we aspire to dress like douche bags? The one of those trendy things that look silly, unless You saw hoards of celebrities wearing the delook has Park St written all over it. you are a supermodel. signs in order to achieve an instant “rock cool.” The designs were mostly distilled from the style So many men are wearing over-extended pointy I think the modern man and woman should of Mick Jagger, David Bowie and Jimi Hendrix. shoes, distressed jeans with some Celtic cross have a uniform. Not a fetish-y Catholic uniform, What they lacked in timelessness, they made up on the pockets, and an embellished shirt with but a personal wardrobe that is functional for for in personality. It was the era of the peacock. shitty tattoo designs. You could top off the look your everyday, while at the same time stylish with an orange spray-tan, some blonde highand individualistic for the person underneath. The thing is that style was as manufactured as lights, and oversized metallic glasses, and you When you were in Catholic school, everyone cusa boy-band. Mick Jagger was so memorable be- have the current gay aesthetic. I call this look tomized the hell out of the uniform until it looked cause he had presence. His clothes were secthe “Orange Anus.” like street clothes anyway, so I think we are just ondary. Yet, designers stylized his appearance reversing back to what we are used to. The good into a collection, and like fools we bought it. How do we recover from “Orange Anus?” Not ol’ days. with a cream or penicillin. I think we have to Then, in the early millennium brands such as evaluate the world we live in. Nobody has money What do I recommend? Well-made basics. Von Dutch and Ed Hardy began cropping up. Ac- to buy crap. You cannot spend the tiny bit of lux- Everyone should own a white cotton button cording to Wikipedia, the source of all reliable ury income that you have on clothes that do not down shirt. It should be fitted, and it should be

outlookcolumbus.com

PicturedaboveisBrianReaume.He’salocalartistandhottie.Verymodern.

white. Not eggshell or cream, but white. It’s the shirt that you could wear to the office, a wedding, a funeral and to a date. You can mix it with black fitted pants, denim, chinos, shorts, and for the ladies and drag queens, a skirt. I have a great white button down that I bought at H&M in 2001 that I will not throw away. It is frayed and threadbare, and I have replaced it twice-over, but now it has the distressed look that only age can make. I’ve seen similar things at Abercrombie, but this shirt has a story. I remember living out of a suitcase for two years, and the shirt was my Interview Shirt, Date Shirt, Funeral Shirt, Clubbing Shirt, and Formal Shirt. I paid $25 for a shirt that has served me well for over 8 years. Everyone, and I mean everyone should have fitted black pants. Something that fits proper, looks good, and does not have a pin-stripe. You can always use a black pant. I have a great pair that I wear with converse and a white t shirt. It’s simple, no-fuss, and easy to wear. Adding a jacket can dress it up, and you are ready for drinks at U. Getting a middle-weight fabric close to a chino is ideal because they do not become seasonal. I had awesome black wool pants, but they felt like an oven in June. Plus, no pants are worth having swamp-ass. After pants, I should mention accessories. Every man and woman should own accessories that are not only fun, but utilized in their everyday. I am a firm believer in the notion that you should take a little liberty with accessories. Yes, you should have a great pair of black oxfords, a

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black belt, and a dark tie, but you should not only have funeral clothes. I think funerals are chic, but I liked the Addams Family as a kid. Spice it up and buy a red belt. Or, gold shoes. Why not? One should aspire to be slightly eccentric, even if it isn’t within your nature. Sometimes, something crazy or weird can be a piece you love. Get a vintage skinny tie with lipstick kisses because you find it amusing, and somebody might remember you because of your cool tie. Then, when you have been dating this admirer for a while, pull a Julia Roberts and wear just the tie for dinner at your place. It’s something silly, but fun. Plus, when you have a great orgasm, you can thank your accessories. There is one rule when it comes to accessories, and it should have no deviation. Never ever buy cheap accessories. It looks, well, cheap. I am not speaking of cute earrings for women, or those little flip flops that cost three bucks, I am talking about cheap belts from Wal-Mart, or cheap ass black oxford dress shoes. Cheap shoes will always become apparent when you need to look expensive. Big night out? The rain will wash those cheap shoes away. Nothing looks more ridiculous than crappy footwear. It ruins your feet and you look dumb for having on bad shoes with a great outfit. Invest in quality. Spending $300 on a pair of shoes seems severe, but I can tell you that nothing beats the feeling of great shoes. Not those shit pointy, leprechaun things from Aldo, but spend a few hundred on a pair of shoes from Ferragamo. Italian leather is as good as sex with an Italian man. Let’s be honest, Italians do it better. Ladies, don’t think you are exempt. Payless shoes are a waste. Sure, they are great for a quick night with a cute outfit, but getting blisters from cheap shoes is like getting an STD from a bad date. You could have had it so much better. Invest in a pair of Manolo Blahnik slingbacks or Christian Louboutin D’Orsay stilettos. It’s the best $500 you ever spent. For our gals who don’t get into the heels, Tod’s makes a driving loafer that you cannot beat. One of the most classic things one can wear is a driving loafer, white shirt, and a great flat-front pant. I recommend this look for an ultra femme or the butchest of the butch. We can all fit into a stereotype, but shouldn’t you at least be well dressed if you are going to be put into a box? My least favorite trend is this 1980’s revival for fall, because nobody in their right mind wants to revisit the decade of horrible dressing. Shoulder pads look gross, and harem pants died with MC Hammer’s bankruptcy proceedings. If you want to wear something from the 1980’s, it should be leggings. These aren’t really an 80’s trend, but a timeless way to layer clothes. I think guys should go to a shop and get a pair of leggings for winter. Sure, you could just wear a pair of long johns, and you definitely should when going skiing,

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or in the Arctic, but they are streamlined and won’t be bulky under a suit. Underwear is probably the most underrated part of a wardrobe because they are not visible, but investing in good underwear can mean the difference between a good day and bad. Never buy them too small. If you have a certain waist size, buy the right sized underwear. Muffin Top is the worst with underwear. Plus, you’ll get those lines from the elastic that will look awkward as hell when you’ve stripped down. Not to mention smashed balls and the penis restriction. Women should get good breathable underwear with a fair amount of cotton lining for health reasons. Cute panties can be interrupted by Aunt Flo, and a bulky pad will never look right when paired with a tiny bikini. I am all in favor of women wearing boxer shorts, because it is slightly alluring in a Marlene Deitrich way. Surprising your girlfriend or wife with a pair of boxers, and playing Cabaret is good fun, and requires no fancy hooks or fasteners. If you are into that, get a good corset, a feather, and a whip and channel your inner Bettie Page. The last thing to mention is this stupid recession, which has either cost people jobs, homes or the ability to spend their income on clothes. I cannot stress that vintage, thrift or consignment shopping can alter your options dramatically. There are plenty of great shops with hundreds of options for your wardrobe. If you can’t afford to buy an expensive pair of shoes, go to a vintage shop or consignment store and find something similar. These shops typically have great quality and less the cost. I once found an amazing pair of 1950’s crocodile stilettos at Mad 4 Mod, and they were only $40. If bought new, and made by the same designer, they would have been $1800. I think that purchasing your basics at Gap, Banana Republic, or American Apparel is great for cost, but for adding personality to your budget, you might investigate the vintage and consignment stores. Thrift stores have been the constant in my wardrobe since I realized that I have Yves Saint Laurent taste on an Urban Outfitters budget. Columbus has some of the best thrift stores I’ve been to, and I’ve bought Yves Saint Laurent in our local Salvation Army’s and Volunteers of America. Most weeks they have days where you can get anywhere from 3075% off the incredibly low prices. Christian Dior shirts for 80 cents? Sign me up. I think that even with a recession, tacky clothes, horrible fake tans and cheap shoes, you can’t lose your identity, and this excludes the clothes. Sure, I might have a few ideas for maximizing your wardrobe, and eliminating crap, but losing your personality by attempting to dress unlike yourself is absurd. Wear the stupid hat if you love it. I will definitely make fun of it, but that is life. I would much rather have fun looking like a fool than be fabulously dressed and absolutely bored. Life is a lot greater when you are having a good time, no matter what you wear.

Name the Movie: Vivian: Oh...Look honey, I have a runner in my pantyhose. Oops! I'm not wearing panty hose!

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Does anyone else think that the Universe is taunting us, making Josh at Vino straight? Damn!

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YOU, ME, AND THE PINK by Lex Randleman & Benji Michalek

What Fashion Party are You Attending this Fall? by Elizabeth Bean The dates are beginning to be set. Invitations will be arriving. And one of the main questions that we receive (especially in autumn) is “What does Casual Chic really mean? What about Cocktail Chic? What’s the difference?” With all of the different parties and fundraisers that happen in the fall, we thought we would highlight the majors. And of course, if you need further help, Wardrobe Therapy, LLC is always available at your beckon to answer your fashion needs…First things, first. Casual Chic Definition: Chic (pronounced “sheek”), meaning ‘stylish’ or ‘smart,’ is an element of fashion and the counterpart of posh. (From Wikipedia.) For Guys Ok boys, you might think that this is where we would

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tell you to take the jeans away and put on a dress pant. However if done right, you can absolutely leave them in the equation. The one thing you must remember: no torn out knees or too many details. Dark jeans are the best solution and when paired back to a straight blazer and v-neck knit or collared button-down, you have a handsome hottie on your hands. For shoes, do not wear your sneakers! Short dress boots or loafers will finish the outfit. For the fashionista… add a hat (it may come in handy for later!) For Dolls Mix a dressy element with something completely casual. Pair a soft, print blouse back to a straight leg, dark denim. Add a leather bomber and pair back to a casual pump. Or, throw on a flirty skirt, back to a basic crewneck tee with a blazer and ballet flats. An easy way to dress up a casual look is BOLD ACCESSORIES… and they are hot for fall! continued

pink shirts, ties, shorts, socks, underwear, everything - and they are not I’ve always been curious to know who just for the gay boy around the corner. assigned gender descriptions to col- These pink clothes are being made ors. Blue for boys. Pink for girls. Was for the heterosexual boys next door. there some scientist or Miranda And they’re wearing them... Still! Priestly (the Devil Wears Prada, people…) who clearly divided the lines? It seems like pink came back into Was there a popular vote? A religious fashion for men nearly a decade ago. decree about who’s luckier? Do we as What I assumed was a passing fad a society unknowingly create some in temporary gender blurring has social-psychological web of energy managed to only increase in popularand ideas to hold ourselves in perity since then. Who knew pink had ceptive cohesion? Are the deviants this much staying power? Who knew and outcasts of the world somehow the “metrosexual” of 1995 would be“unwebbed” from their respective come standard? communities? So a 14 year-old trend is still ramThis article will not answer these pant. Why does it matter since a lot questions (as much as I would love of gender bending men and women to expound upon my theories of have a pink or blue “deep V?” For pseudo-psychic energy networks). one, pink is not for little boys. It’s still However, it will gladly analyze the for little girls, thanks to Andy Mooney threads that bind gender, color and and his brilliant Disney Princess fashion in an observational, not-so- branding strategy. Children are still scientific way. being socially brought up to understand the difference between pink To begin, I would like to state that and blue. color is not a reality. Trippy, huh? Color is, in fact, only a retinal percep- Pink is for men. Real men. It is now tion that your brain organized. It’s a entirely possible to have a man’s funny little way our minds translate man in pink. How is it that adult ambient electromagnetic energies males get away with wearing pink? into something that is definable, be- The “metrosexual” craze assisted in cause it is imperative for us as little establishing a young new male cognitive machines to create defini- image with a disposable income. tions and rules for the reality within With extra benjis the new fashion which we exist ( I told you, not sciaware men-folk were able to purence). As if identifying individual col- chase new types of clothes beyond ors isn’t enough, we have to assign the standard necessities (i.e. pink sub-categories: hot colors, cool col- panties). They didn’t need what they ors, neutrals, pastels, primary, secwere buying, but when a male is ondary…race, boy and girl. strutting in a pink button down, it shows that he is wealthy enough to This is how our brains work in other afford an extra shirt, and he is comaspects of daily life as well, including fortable and confident with his sexubinary gender assignment and fash- ality. Those are core values that ion. Suits can be tailored to fit men society tries to imbue on its little warand women, but we have “decided” riors. that they are male. A skirt is a stylish and well-ventilated clothing item Although this assessment may not be that is exclusively female (kilts exprofound, pink is here. It may be here cluded, you lucky Scots). Why? Some to stay. If it means anything, it might say culture, tradition, profes- means that perhaps – just perhaps – sional standards – all of which our society is letting go of one of its roughly translates to just ‘cuz. many non-sensible traditions in place of a fresher, more liberated outI know. I hold all of these long-trusted look. But also, that society has outsocietal norms in such an arbitrary smarted itself in allowing a light, one might find me culturally in- supposedly ‘feminine’ color to define sensitive…and I almost care. masculinity. I am simply writing all of the above to I heart my #ff899e. state that I have made a deduction: Pink is in… still. Lex Randleman & Benji Michalek also are part of the podcast Gaily As a male (and frequent shopper) I’ve Fwd. Check it out on itunes or at noticed that there seems to be a pink www.gailyfwd.com. version of everything. The occasional pink tie or pink shirt worn by a man photo by Danner-Morris used to scream homo. Now, there are

Ohlook,ahairyguy!Buthe’snotonthecover,sodon’tgiveusgrief!

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They do not sell dairy products at Milk Bar. They also don’t beat you with clubs or force your eyelids open.

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Are those underwear white denim?

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Frameless

and accepting, my body. Most recently, you lived through the great liposuction adventure of 2008, where my inner child and my adult body were sculpted, sucked, and flattened.

by Michael Daniels When you grow up the smart, geeky, gay fat kid whom needs glasses, it wears on you. Your inner child develops being called “fatso” and “four eyes” and “faggot” and avoiding gym class where the favorite game is something called “smear the queer.” Once he attains the age of about 8, or 10, or maybe even 12, he then, traumatized, goes to hide in a corner of your psyche. You don’t so much notice. You grow up, you go to college, you come out, you embrace life.

Now come with me to LASIKland, where my inner child ditches his lenses and frames. I won’t bore you with endless descriptions of what LASIK is, or how it works, or the qualifications of my doctor. That’s all on their website – ReVision Advanced Laser Eye Center, www.revisioneyes.com – I chose them because they’re simply the best in the area. Bar none. What I will tell you is that the staff was amazingly patient with me, that the procedure itself was painless, and that the post-surgery recovery process was a little longer and more frustrating than I’d hoped, and that the entire experience was worth every day and dime I spent.

Then that kid comes out, and screams “Love me, damn you!” And at first you don’t. You try to silence him with booze and Tina and many men in rapid succession. When those fail – and they will – and your friends pick up the pieces of you and smush you back together, then you nurture that inner child, but you love him for the smart, witty, cool, beautiful kid that you know he is – and that you want to be. Such is my ongoing journey. Those of you who read outlook regularly have been with me through my ongoing process of working on,

Paige York, the office manager and my main contact, walked me through everything from what to expect to how to pay for it (hooray HSA rules). Dr. James Schumer was amazing on the laser, talking me through the process, showing me how everything would work, and quelling my fears. Dr. Melissa Bollinger has taken the brunt of Michael-as-a-patient-from-Hell, doing all of my follow-up exams, pa-

What Fashion continued from pg 30 Cocktail Chic Definition: A cocktail dress or cocktail gown is a woman‘s dress worn at cocktail parties, and semi-formal occasions. + Chic (pronounced “sheek”), meaning ‘stylish’ or ‘smart’, is an element of fashion and the counterpart of posh. (From Wikipedia.) For Guys We know boys…. You’re not showing up to the next event in your cocktail dress (well, maybe some of you are). Cocktail chic for men is a fashionable suit with a tie. We like the crisp look of the black suit with a white shirt and skinny black tie. Its modern, yet so sophisticated. It will get you noticed. If a suit isn’t your style (and we recommend this for only the fashionrisk takers), try a dark pant and an updated blazer or sport coat. Pair a knit crewneck or dressy button down to complete this look. Remember…opt for the suit if you haven’t purchased a sport coat in the last 10 years. For Dolls Cocktail chic is very similar to cocktail attire… with a little more room to play! Keep the length short. This doesn’t just mean the little black dress in your closet. Find a party dress that shows your per-

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tiently listening to me, scolding me for not using enough eye drops, periodically plugging my puncta, and allowing me to bitch and heal my way through monovision until that Eureka moment when it all snapped into place. My vision now is better than 20/20 in each eye and I no longer need glasses for anything. One eye sees perfect distance, the other perfect up close, and my brain knows how to switch back and forth between them – it’s not as crazy sci-fi as it sounds, and it’s life changing, at age 44, to finally be free of glasses for the first time since the age of 8 - except for sunglasses, which I now have an abundance of. And through this process, ironically or not, I’m seeing myself better than I ever have before. If you’ve felt like your glasses have always been a burden or something to hide behind, I suggest giving LASIK a go. Dare yourself to see yourself differently. I’d write more, but my inner child is now running down High Street screaming something about Hatha yoga and isotonics. Rocco, I need your help! For more information, and to schedule your free LASIK evaluation, contact ReVision Advanced Laser Eye Center at www.revisioneyes.com or call 614.781.0499. Ask for Paige and tell them Michael from outlook sent you.1

sonality. That has flare! Color! We also love the fabulous skirts that are coming out for fall. Pair a high-waisted A-Line skirt back to a great looking tee (tucked in, of course!) Add a statement necklace and some bangles. Throw on your favorite patent pump and watch the world open new doors for you! Creative Black Tie Definition: Black tie is a dress code for semi-formal evening events, and is worn to many types of social functions. For a man, the major component is a jacket, known as a dinner jacket (British), smoking (France, Italy and Germany) or tuxedo (Canada and the U.S.), which is usually black but is also seen in midnight blue. A woman’s corresponding evening dress ranges from a conservative cocktail dress to the long evening gown, determined by current fashion, local custom, and the occasion’s time. (From Wikipedia.) For Guys Now just add creative to the front of this definition. That means you get to interpret your version of black tie. A tux is still absolutely dead on, but how about a black suit with a black-collared, buttondown shirt and black accessories? So appropriate. If it is a themed black-tie event, read into the theme. Cowboy? Add a western boot to your tux.

Wouldn’titbegreatifyourshoelacesdidthiswhenevertheywereuntied?You’dnevertripagain!

For Dolls Decide on the length first. Long or short dresses are acceptable. If you are more likely to pull a gown before a cocktail dress, look at the details. Nothing on the dress should be too overdone (unless, of course you are attending the cowboy party that we talked about earlier). Ladies, the one thing that we often do wrong is get the RIGHT dress…and then kill the outfit with the shoes and handbag. Do not pair a cocktail dress back to a chunky, square-toed, “looks like you stole from your grandmother’s closet” shoe. Just because they are “comfortable?” Please! Or even worse, not changing out your handbag from the one you carry with you to work. Remember, there are shoe options out there that can allow you to at least be comfortable on the walk from the car to the party. No excuses! Party definitions can be difficult. If there is any questions at all, never be afraid to call the organizer of the event to request specifics! Find your inner fashion diva and remember to Make Everyday a Runway! Elizabeth Bean Smith is a Stylist with, and Owner of, Wardrobe Therapy, LLC. For more info: wardrobetherapyllc.com

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by Chris Hayes

busy. How were they?” Just then the waitress set down a huge tray of franks in the center of Dillon’s birthday came without warning in a the table and said, “See for yourself. Your phone call from Jerry that afternoon. “Hey, I’m boys here tell me that there was a guy to with Dillon. It’s his birthday! What should we match each of these dogs.” do?” Jerry sat up and began clapping his hands. “I don’t know,” Chase replied, “what does Dil- “Yeah! See if you can guess who or what lon want to do?” each one represents!”

Food is dramatic - Life is delicious.

Episode 44: Hot Diggity Dog

“He doesn’t want to make a decision. It’s nice Chase was hungry, but that’s a lot of meat. out so we’re at the tubs hanging by the pool.” And they had ordered sides, too, including Sriracha slaw, hand-cut fries, onion rings, “They do have a nice pool. Is his boyfriend tater tots, fried leeks, mac & cheese and there or are they fighting again? And where is baked beans. “Good thing they are open till Bob?” 2a. This might take awhile, but I’ll give it go…” “Yes, Dave is going to meet up with us when he’s done with work, and Bob is coming out to Some were easy to figure out, givens actually, his mom back home. Want to join us?” like the Chicago that has fresh tomatoes, diced onions, Vienna® Sport Peppers, pickle “Sound’s like a big day. I’ve got plans in a few relish, dill pickle, yellow mustard, & a dash of hours or I might. I need to work on my tan.” celery salt or the Ohioana topped with spicy corn relish and a dash of celery salt. By the “Well we’re starting to get hungry, and the names alone it was obviously boys from those naked BBQ here really isn’t appealing.” places. “I know that mess, it’s not appetizing at all. Why don’t we meet for a drink at Dirty Franks in a bit if you’re done getting your franks dirty?” “Sounds like a plan,” Jerry chirped, “we’ll meet you at the Hot Dog Palace in 20!”

Others were given by ethnicity. The Timmow with mild green chiles & sharp cheddar would be a Mexican, the Seoul Dog topped with Kim Chee an Asian, the Hot Bollywood with spicy hot Indian mango chutney an Indian (dot not feather), the Sauerkraut Dog a German, The Nickola a Greek and so forth. Who knew the tubs were so the United Colors of Benetton?

Dillon and Jerry were already there holding court in the window table when Chase walked in. “Happy Birthday Dillon,” he shouted as he Chase made his way through the dogs and sat down. “Don’t you handsome guys look like the draft beer list, matching franks with two tickets to paradise?” franks but some were harder than others. Like the Fancy Pants with whole gherkins “It’s funny you say that cause that’s exactly (sweet pickles) & dijon mustard? Fancy what we are drinking,” Jerry retorted. “It’s one Punasti perhaps? Or the Classy Lady with of their signature slushy drinks. Here taste cheese sauce & crushed potato chips? it!” Jerry shoved the glass and Chase took a Sounds like Virginia West but would she have big swig. been there? And the Beano veggie coney was obviously that slutty granola boy but what “Mmmmm, that is delicious. Do I taste cherry was his name? and lime slush mixed with pineapple, Malibu rum and citrus rum? Good call. I heard they Finally two hours later, and a heart attack on have Frostop Root Beer on tap and you can the horizon, Chase gave up. “I can’t figure out add whiskey, rum, gin, vodka or tequila to it these last three,” he burped. “Who or what for just $4. That’s what I’m getting. How was are the Razzle Dazzle, True Love Always and the bath house?” Dog from Hell?” Dillon immediately blushed and Jerry rolled his eyes and Chase new there was a story coming. These two together were always getting into trouble. “Ok, spill it! I want details,” Chase pushed on. “Let’s just say that Dillon decided he wanted to offer one better than the menu here - both in quantity and diversity.” “Since you couldn’t make it,” Dillon added, “we already ordered one of everything on the menu for you to sample so you don’t feel left out. This way it’s kinda like you were there!” ‘I hope they have a penicillin dog’ Chase thought as he glanced down at the abundant choice of gourmet hot dogs, brats and sausages that DF offered. Counting up the choices, Chase realized that Dillon must have partaken in over 20. “Damn boy, you were

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We love Liz’s weiners. She has very many of them. She’s a very popluar gal.

“I knew those would stump him,” Jerry smiled. “Come on now Chase, you’re a smart boy. What do they all have in common?” Dillon asked. “Well they all have cream cheese… Oh…” and like a director gave a cue they all shouted “uncut!” With that, Chase ordered the table Hot Lime slushies. He hoped the tequila and habañero lime juice would kill anything they might have picked up directly, or in his case by mere association, and, with any luck, their memory. Dirty Frank’s Hot Dog Palace is at 248 S 4th St just north of Main. For more info: 614.824.4673 or www.dirtyfrankshotdogs.com. outlookcolumbus.com


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JenniferBrunnerpubliclystatedthatshebelievesinmarriageequalityforGLBTpeople.LeeFisherhasnot.

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Destination: Gay Maine by Regina Sewell

you’ve got your dancing shoes on, check out the Mainstreet Video Bar. It’s the Ogunquit, Maine may well be the best center of gay and lesbian nightlife in GLBT friendly resort destination you’ve Ogunquit. They feature weekly pool tournever heard of. Ogunquit is smaller and naments, live DJ’s, stand-up comedy on more laid-back than Provincetown. Its the weekends, and monthly Women’s easy access, welcoming attitude, active Tea Dances. And while it’s not specifiGLBT nightlife, abundance of gay cally focused on GLBT entertainment, owned and GLBT friendly accommoda- Jonathan’s Restaurant hosts some nations, great food, stunning shoreline, tional touring acts with large GLBT foland pristine beaches make it stiff com- lowings. The 2009 season bill features petition to its Massachusetts counter- comedians Paula Poundstone and part. Susan Westenhoefer. First, it’s easier to get here. It’s a mere 66 miles up the coast from Boston which translates into a 90 minute drive if the traffic is moving. I met several couples from Boston who said that the drive was the deciding factor that led them to choose Ogunquit over Provincetown. If you’ve ever gotten stuck in traffic crawling down the cape, you’ll understand what an ordeal the commute can be in the summer. Ogunquit’s also just a half an hour from both Portland, Maine and Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Like Provincetown, Ogunquit began as a fishing village whose landscape drew the attention of artists. In the early 1900’s, a colony of post-impressionist artists settled here. They brought their eclectic tastes, open lifestyles and acceptance of diversity with them and set the stage for the large gay and lesbian presence that exists in the town today. Even the cops are reputedly GLBT friendly. And, if you and your honey have been hearing wedding bells, Ogunquit may well be the place to say, “I do.” Maine recently became the fifth state to legalize gay marriage. The law takes effect in mid-September and covers residents and non-residents alike. This tiny village takes up only four square miles, yet Ogunquit boasts a lively gay and lesbian nightclub scene. If you’re in the mood to just sit and chat, check out the Five-O Lounge, the Old Village Inn Lounge and Oxygen Lounge. The first two are connected to established restaurants and have a reputation for great pub food. While Oxygen’s menu is more limited, its atmosphere is a bit more vibrant. If you’re looking for entertainment, Front Porch Piano Bar and Lounge features rousing sing-alongs as well as live comedy. When we popped in, Jason Weber had the crowd crooning to pop music by artists like Cher and Madonna and plenty of Broadway show tunes. If

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views of either the shore or the cove. My partner and I were drawn to Jackie’s Too by the smells wafting from their kitchen. We sat almost at the water’s edge on their outdoor terrace. Our evening felt magical because a double rainbow arched over the ocean. We took it as a good omen. MC Perkins Cove also provides a spectacular view of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s a bit more upscale with a comfortably elegant atmosphere, friendly service and fantastic food.

The Marginal Way and the beach are Ogunquit’s top attractions. The Marginal Way is a mile and a quarter long footpath that hugs the shoreline between the village and Perkins Cove. Lined by honeysuckle bushes, sea roses and a few outcroppings of cedar trees that have been gnarled and twisted by the wind, it provides breathtaking views of the rocky coast. The view is accented by the pungent smell of seaweed mingled with a salty ocean mist from the rush of waves crashing against the shore. Perkins Cove, at the southern end of the path, is still a working harbor with lobster boats, charter fishing boats, whale watching boats, sightseeThe Admiral’s Inn has been a popular ing boats and private sailboats. The destination for years. Rumor has it (I peninsula that protects the harbor is heard it in the hot tub from guys who lined with shops, galleries, and restauhave been staying here for 25 years so it rants. At the other end of town, you’ll must be true!) that back in the 80’s, the find three miles of unspoiled, white innkeeper greeted his gay male patrons sand beach. Surprisingly, the shore in the nude. At a time when gay bash- produces great waves for surfing for the ing was an acceptable popular sport, brave souls who can bear the chilly AIDS was decimating our community water of the Northern Atlantic. For less and our leaders were content to watch intrepid beach-goers, the peopleour brothers die, I imagine that being watching is great, especially if you go greeted by an inn keeper who was so up to the gay section of the beach about accepting of his sexual identity would 200 yards north of the main entrance. feel both liberating and empowering to gay male guests. Years before Europeans settled the New World, Naddick Indians dubbed the area With several dozen restaurants, you can Ogunquit, which translates as, “beautichoose the meal and/or dining experi- ful place by the sea.” Centuries later, ence you’d like to have. If you’re think- the name still fits. ing, “I’m in Maine, I should have lobster,” you’re in luck: a host of restau- For more information on accommodarants offer lobster fresh off the boat. If tions, restaurants and other GLBT you’re in the mood to dress for dinner tourist information about Ogunquit, and want something with a French flair, check out: you can check out 98 Province. If you’re http://www.purpleroofs.com/; craving Italian, you might check out An- http://www.mainestreetogunquit.com/friends.htm gelina’s, Julie’s Ristorante or Café Prego. l; http://www.gayogunquit.com/ If vegetarian is your thing, Gypsie Regina Sewell is a mental health counselor with a Sweethearts is just the ticket. Gypsie private practice in Worthington, OH. To ask a Sweethearts also has a wide selection question, propose a column topic, read about her approach to counseling, or check out her books of great non-vegetarian international and other writing, go to: www.ReginaSewell.com . fare. If what you’re looking for is a meal Her most recent publication, “Sliding Away,” can with a view, head down to Perkins Cove be found in Knowing Pains: Women on Love, Sex and Work in Our 40s, edited by Molly Rosen. on the south side of town. Here you’ll find numerous restaurants with great Gay owned and GLBT welcoming accommodations abound in Ogunquit. We stayed at The Admiral’s Inn. Centrally located, it features two heated swimming pools, a gym and sauna, two hot tubs, on-sight massage, and a bar and grill that stays open late. This is a great place to stay for gym bunnies as the larger pool is great for lap-swimming and the gym is stocked with treadmills, ellipticals, bikes, freeweights, a variety of weight machines, fitness balls and exercise mats. When it’s time to relax, the view from the hot tub of the sun setting over the hillside is spectacular.

Maine is th 5th State in the Union to legalize gay marriage. Can you name the other 4?

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InBrittanafiddleisanactofdefrauding,cheating,orfalsifying.

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Grittyin Pink: an interview with Scott Free by Gregg Shapiro

Over the course of his first three albums, queer musician Scott Free demonstrated his musical versatility, setting our heads spinning with forays into punk, modern rock and hip-hop. But, it’s safe to say that nothing could have prepared us for his masterwork, The Pink Album (A Pop Opera) (Leather/Western). Venturing into new and potentially risky territory, including cabaret and pure pop, Free emerges unscathed and all the better for it. The Pink Album is a virtual mini-musical history of gay culture – from childhood to adulthood and from

the mid-20th century to the present, touching on themes that will surely resonate with many listeners. The video for the song “Free” spent a seven weeks on Logo’s Click List getting as high as number six.

tended it to living in the newly-formed gay community, through AIDS, and up to today. I decided to use the term “pop opera” because I wanted to make it clear this was not autobiography – these are stories from many different sources.

Free took time out of his busy schedule, which includes booking the twice-monthly Homolatte performance series at Big Chicks/Tweet and lining up talent for his annual Alt-Q concert event at the Old Town School of Folk Music, to answer a few questions about The Pink Album.

GS: In the liner notes for The Pink Album, you make reference to being asked, during a radio interview, why you are so angry. Was it an LGBT radio program or a mainstream program? SF: It was an LGBT program, and I won’t name names because it sounds like I’m being critical of them, and I happen to respect them greatly, but it was such a shock for me as an opening question. It is possible that it was generational – this person is much younger than I am, and was too young to feel the full impact of the AIDS crisis.

Gregg Shapiro: Your new disc The Pink Album is subtitled “a pop opera.” Did the concept come first or did the songs come first, leading you to then put them together in this format? Scott Free: The idea for the “concept” album grew out of the song “Like A Girl,” which was literally written immediately after talking to an old friend about his horrible public school experience. Originally the concept was just “growing up gay” songs, but I then ex-

GS: You address the religious persecution and oppression of LGBT people in the liner notes as well as in the song, “The Boy in the Last Pew.” At this point in time, would you say that you have an affiliation with any religious community? SF: No, I’m not religious at all, although I do tell my husband that I think angels are out there looking over me – I’ve had too good of a life (laughs). The song “The Boy in The Last Pew” isn’t any one particular person – it’s a “growing up in church” experience that I’ve heard from many of my friends. If you are young and you’ve already figured out that you are gay, and here the church is telling you that you are evil and going to hell, you can’t help but think of suicide. The church’s “teachings” are the equivalent of child abuse.

GS: Religion also comes up in “Mom Dad I,” a song about coming out to parents, in which you not only make mention of the way the narrator in the song’s parents will be treated by their “church friends” but also the way God made him. Do you think there will ever come a time when the sexuality of a child will not be an issue for a parent, whether or not they consider themselves to be religious? SF: “Mom Dad I” is one of the few songs on the CD that is totally me. I had planned and planned what I was going to say to my parents when I finally came out to them. And that was my biggest concern – what were their “church friends” going to think of them? Would they themselves think they had failed as parents? It horrified me. I actually have performed that song with my parents in the audience. And this is the first CD that I’ve given to my parents. My previous CDs always had raunchy punk songs on them, and I knew they couldn’t handle that (laughs). My mother just says that “Mom Dad I” is a very sad song – my dad doesn’t comment. It’s been a very long process for them, but they couldn’t be better now – my dad is a gay marriage advocate (laughs)! We still have a long way to go as far as the general publics’ understanding of sexuality (is concerned). Obviously, it’s the suppression of education that makes this issue continue from generation to generation. Maybe around the time of the first openly gay President of the United States, we will be over it! GS: The Pink Album contains songs, including “Like A Girl” and “Equal,” that will be familiar to listeners who may have had the opportunity to hear you perform them live in acoustic guitar versions. But the big difference on “The Pink Album” is that the production and orchestration is on a whole different level, with an emphasis on piano and horns, for instance. What was it like to transform these songs for this disc? SF: “Equal” was the first song I recorded – I had finished it even before I had the idea for the pop opera. Luckily it fit right in (laughs). And production has been such an important part of my creative process – it’s as important to me as the song itself. It took me a year and a half to record this CD – I’m an insane perfectionist, and although I still think it’s not a perfect recording, I know that the reasons are more that I don’t have those ten thousand dollar compressors and the like in my studio – I just have basic equipment. GS: Speaking of the piano, the songs “Alone,” “Better” and “Two Great Dads,” find you dabbling in cabaret, while the wordplay of “GRID,” can only be described as Sondheimesque. SF: There’s no doubt – “GRID” is total Sondheim – I was well into the idea of pop opera when I wrote that song. And somehow “Alone” turned

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Namethemovie:“Mycolorsareblushandbashful.”“Yourcolorsarepinkandpink!”

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into French cabaret – which is so perfect for its lyric – a little over-dramatic (laughs)! “Alone” is also completely me – when I was about fifteen years old, I had this concept of how my adult gay life would be – solitary, urban, and promiscuous! But it was only until seeing the film “Celluloid Closet” years later that I understood where my ideas came from. It was the only way gays were portrayed in films of that period. I had a hard time deciding whether to put “Better” on the CD or leave it off. A good friend tells me it’s the saddest song that he’s ever heard. It is hard to listen to. But I didn’t want to address AIDS only from the political side. I had to personalize it. I was with my ex-lover the last two weeks of his life. I dedicated the CD to him. “Better” is a synopsis of the last conversations I had with him. In the song “Death Toll,” he is the only true named person – the rest of the names are changed or made up, although the stories are ones I was aware of at the time – dying on the Greyhound bus, throwing the body on the White House lawn. I do feel like I should have put a warning sticker on the CD – “contains honest language” (laughs). I felt it was equally important to include songs about how far we’ve come, and how beautiful our lives can be. “Equal” is one of those songs, as is “Two Great Dads” – another ‘me’ song (laughs)! I’m afraid I wouldn’t be much of a gay parent – I’d be way too busy being a kid with my kid (laughs)! Whenever we are at my husband’s family events, I spend all my time playing with the children. The big joke is that even though I’m white, and my husband is black, to them, I’m Uncle Scott and he is Uncle Scott’s friend (laughs)! GS: The Pink Album contains some of your most accessible material, as in “Like A Girl,” “Meet Mr. Right,” and “Equal,” to name a few, as well as “Free” which can be best described as the first Scott Free sing-along tune. Was it a conscious decision to go in a more commercial direction with this disc or was it just that the material lent itself to being recorded in this fashion? SF: Both “Free” and “Meet Mr. Right” were written many years ago. I was always afraid to put them on a Scott Free CD, because they were so commercial, but the subject matters fit in with the CD so well that I went for it. I’m thrilled that I am getting the response from “Free” that I am – it’s going to be the first video from the CD. GS: “Death Toll,” which has a roll call quality that made me think of Jim Carroll’s “People Who Died” crossed with the reading of the names at a showing of the Names Project Quilt, is set to a dance-hall reggae beat, and I was wondering, because of the ongoing homophobia and suggestion of anti-gay violence in reggae, if that was why you chose to set it in outlookcolumbus.com

that musical framework. SF: The concept of the song from the beginning was a long list of names – I was trying to get across what it was like in the late 1980s – everyone you knew was dying. It was so horrifying that it’s hard to believe it today. And yes, I immediately thought of the Jim Carroll song. So I went back and listened to that song, because I didn’t want it to be too similar. It turns out that song used a standard blues riff, so basically I just made sure my song was as far away from that as possible – hence the modern world/dancehall beat. GS: Listening to “Act Up Fight Back” made me wonder why someone hadn’t transformed these chants of protest and empowerment into an anthem, in the way that you did, sooner. SF: I was struggling for so long on how to include ACT UP in this album – they were too important to our history to leave them out. I was trying to personalize it, but as I was doing my “web research”, I found a site that had put up recordings of ACT UP protests – I just took slogans from their entire history and strung them together. As I first started recording it, I knew I was on to something – I felt like I had invented the first literal protest song (laughs)! And yet, it’s pure musical theater! GS: “Happy Again,” and even “Act Up Fight Back” and “Death Toll” for that matter, qualify as dance tracks. Are there plans for club remixes of these tracks? SF: “Happy Again” is the obvious one, and yes, I do plan on releasing extended remixes. That song is actually twenty years old – I wrote it during the original Chicago House music days (laughs). GS: The Pink Album closes with “My Generation,” which provides a sort of queer-eyed update to the classic Who song. In fact, the album as a whole, speaks with the voice of a generation, many of whom died too young and too soon. Was it your intention with this album, and with the three that preceded it, to be that voice? SF: I think that’s always been my goal – to be the voice of a generation - or at least a segment of a generation that has been completely ignored in popular music. I never had the exposure that a major label provides, which is obviously step number one in being the voice of a generation. But I’m ok with that. For many years now, my only goal has been to write the best songs I possibly can, the most honest songs that I possibly can. And I feel I’ve succeeded on this album – maybe for the very first time. I’m not saying that this is my final CD, but right now it feels like it, and if I never make another one, I feel like I’ve accomplished my goals. This was the CD that took a lifetime to make – the one that I believe I was meant to make.

The first vessel built exclusively for cruising was the Prinzessin Victoria Luise, designed by Albert Ballin, general manager of Hamburg-America Line.

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by Romeo San Vicente

MCDREAMY AND MCSTEAMY HIT THE BIG MCSCREEN For Grey’s Anatomy fans, the fact that Garry Marshall’s new ensemble romantic comedy Valentine’s Day features both Patrick Dempsey and Eric Dane is reason enough to hit the TiVo pause and get out to a movie theater. But this romantic comedy, about an intersecting collection of love misadventures in L.A., offers a special bonus for queer moviegoers: Dane is reportedly playing a hot-shot sexpot NFL quarterback with a secret – he’s a gay guy having a DL relationship with another guy played by The Hangover star Bradley Cooper. Marshall is assembling a top-drawer cast for this one; also slated to star are Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, Shirley MacLaine, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel (together at last!), Jennifer Garner, Ashton Kutcher and Topher Grace. Shooting started in early July, so get ready to celebrate Valentine’s Day by listening to grumpy official statements issued by the NFL in 2010.

RUPERT EVERETT DRAGS IT UP FOR ST. TRINIAN’S SEQUEL

Paper Heart by Adam Lippe According to one of the starry-eyed children interviewed at an Atlanta playground during Nicholas Jasenovec’s mockumentary Paper Heart, the most romantic place to take a woman on a date is Applebee’s. Somehow, the child’s utterance is perfect for the movie’s subject, mumbly and ironically inexpressive comic and musician Charlyne Yi, who, for the purposes of the film, doesn’t believe she could ever love anyone.

Martin is a funny comic in his own right and oddly he seems the most ill-at-ease with the invasive camera during his brief time onscreen. Perhaps Martin knew what co-writers Yi and Jasenovec were up to - with their “We’re just kidding, no we mean it, aren’t we sweet? Just kidding” tone - and rejected the disingenuous sincerity.

That patronizing attitude mars the attempts at honesty in the film, as Yi and the actor playing Jasenovec, Jake Johnson, travel the country asking random people on the street what love is and what it means to them. When Yi’s relationship with Cera begins to “unexpectedly” develop, it starts to interfere with the documentary process, and the blooming love causes Yi to go Her famous friends encourage her to discover from stiff and robotic tomboy with a rubbery herself. They include, in one cannily placed cameo after another, Seth Rogen, Martin Starr, double chin to animated and expressive robotic tomboy with a rubbery double chin. What makes David Krumholtz, eventual “love interest” Michael Cera, and the most appropriate consid- Yi funny and charming as a comic is her stunted, self-aware fidgetiness, done with a ering the twee style of Paper Heart, comic nerdy wink. None of these traits appear in Paper Demetri Martin. Heart, meaning it could come quite easily to the

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While we Americans impatiently await the release later this year of St. Trinian’s, a 2007 remake of a classic 1950s British comedy about a school for larcenous young girls, the film has already been successful enough in the U.K. to spawn a sequel. St. Trinian’s: The Legend of Fritton’s Gold (nice City Slickers shout-out there) will once again feature Rupert Everett in drag as Miss Fritton, the stentorian headmistress of this diabolical institution of higher learning. Also along for the ride this time are Colin Firth, David Tennant and Gemma Arterton. (Russell Brand is rumored to make an appearance as well.) Currently in production, the St. Trinian’s sequel is set for a Christmas release for the Brits, but at this rate Yank audiences may find themselves waiting until 2011 to catch a glimpse. Unfair!

DOC EXAMINES BETTE DAVIS’ QUEER ICON STATUS If you’ve ever launched into an All About Eve impersonation after the third cocktail or uttered “What a dump!” upon arrival at any less-than-A-list establishment, then you know the impact that the screen appearances of Bette Davis had on generations of gay men. A new documentary, Queer Icon: The Cult of Bette Davis, takes a closer look at how the star of Jezebel and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? imprinted her extra-strength personality on her devoted gay following. And if you’re one of those new-millennial queers who rolls his eyes at old-school divas, the movie also asks tough questions about whether she’s the sort of icon that modern gay men even need any more. Having premiered this summer in San Francisco, the film is making its way around the festival circuit and is headed to a screen near you. Fasten your seatbelts.

NOT JUST A RUMER: WILLIS GUEST STARS AS 90210 LESBIAN Fans who remember the original Beverly Hills 90210 will recall that gay characters usually fell into the sad, tormented and “very special episode” category, like that football player who came out to Kelly and then was barely ever seen again. These days, special-guest gays are more likely to add a little sass and pizzazz to the proceedings, and that’s probably what to expect when Rumer Willis makes a one-shot appearance on the new 90210 this fall. While she’s most famous for being the offspring of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, young Rumer demonstrated her comic chops last summer in The House Bunny. Who knows what sparks she’ll set off when she goes to work for the Blaze News, the student paper at the fictional West Beverly High, when her episode of 90210 airs this fall? And, really, why just one episode? Can’t she just stick around and stir up all those interchangeable girls? Romeo casts a big “yes” vote.

Romeo San Vicente is pretty sure that Demi Moore was playing a lesbian in The Scarlet Letter, but it’s hard to say for sure. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

viewer to not care what happens to her. And Cera’s personality seems to come right from his standard film role (Juno, Superbad), wearing a colorful array of hooded sweatshirts and Keds sneakers, while Knochwursting his way into Yi’s heart (Knochwursting = Knock Kneed and Awkward).

fascinating stories of coupling. And despite the contrived nature of the film, Yi’s romance with Cera, faked or not, is well done, even if all the scenes captured are just “too perfect.” Yi seems to view the world as a series of distractions from her misery, represented by a song she writes for and about Cera, a Weezer-esque bit of nerd rock called You Smell Like Christmas. At first the song is irritating, but it sticks in your head and just like Paper Heart, the song is annoyingly hummable. I can’t think of a higher recommendation.

That’s not to say that Paper Heart isn’t sweet or funny. There’s a wonderful scene in New York where Yi interviews a long committed gay couple and the younger of the two talks about the first time he was at his partner’s house and You can read more of Adam’s reviews at seeing an urn containing the ashes of the man’s late boyfriend (referred to as an “ex in a RegrettableSincerity.com. Romeo The San Vicente has always coveted Yvonne Craig’s box”). trip across the USA produces someBatgirl outfit from the old ’60s TV show but acknowledges that he doesn’t have the curves to pull it off. He can be reached care of this publication or at DeepInsideHollywood@qsyndicate.com.

Did you know Michael is on the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce? He is!

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Imagine ... Dee Ranged cruising? Who would ever have thunk it?

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Careful,Davina.Splintersinyourtonguehurt...alot!

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Briden Cole Schueren is Blurring the Lines of Gender Columbus, Ohio artist, Briden Cole Schueren, has always had a different kind of perspective on life. He’s extremely energetic and fast-paced. He’s got a love of playing with movement which “is why many of [his] pieces tend to be very fluid while blurring the lines in-between colors.” Schueren says that he “loves making art that pushes boundaries and makes people think. You could say that I like playing around with fire,” in reference to being able to make people squirm. “I feel so free and at ease when I am painting or doing a photo shoot! When I have a camera or a paintbrush in my hand I am truly at peace. It’s very Zen like for me. I just want to be able to go crazy on a huge stretch of canvas, painting all over it and rolling around adding different layers and media types. I love making stories with my art. Alternatively, I also love allowing stories to inspire my work. I just feel it gives so much more meaning to every minute that I put into each piece,” says Schueren. Besides art, Briden’s other passion is rowing. He is currently a

rowing coach for a women’s high school varsity team and couldn’t be any more proud and happy to be part of that experience. In college, Schueren had to leave his rowing team because of “regulations.” Thankfully, he’s been able to get back involved with a sport that he loves!

sium. It is a wonderful opportunity to educate general society about issues and experiences that transgender people face,” says Shane Morgan, Founder of TransOhio.

Schueren says, “This show is very special to me and personal, because I get to show a big part of my life that I struggled This collection, Blurring the Lines of Gender, explores interthrough, yet came out stronger and happy on the other side. I weaving paintings, photographs, mixed media pieces, sculpam so grateful and lucky to say I was born with a couple ‘extra tures, and recycled materials and highlights elements of parts.’ I have been able to experience life in such a different blurring the lines of gender and human interaction. Blurring the way; blissful and beautiful while very scary, and you can see Lines of Gender explores just one of Schueren’s many artistic that in the way I express my art.” styles, namely a playful use of vivid colors and fluid movements, while playing with the gender binary. Briden Cole Schueren’s opening will be on Saturday, August 1, 2009, Gallery Hop. The Center on High will be open from 5p-9p Schueren’s work will be on display at The Center on High at 1160 N High Street, Columbus. Light refreshments will be (Stonewall Columbus) in the heart of the Short North Arts Disavailable. Come to meet-n-mingle with Briden and other Gallery trict during the month of August. “We’re thrilled that Briden is Hop go-ers and push your own notions of gender. going to share this part of himself. I love his work. He’s bright and full of life. Not to mention, he is open about his personal This is the kick-off event for TransOhio’s 2nd Annual Transgenjourney of transitioning, female-to-male. His work represents der and Ally Symposium. For symposium info, visit that journey, the highs and the lows. Briden’s showing is our http://www.transohio.org/2009/index2.aspx. kick-off event for our 2nd annual Transgender and Ally Sympo-

HERE and Beyond: Ohio Art League’s 100th Anniversary Exhibition by Jaclyn Reynolds

in Columbus, Ohio, and as part of its ongoing exhibition program, art professionals of international renown have Ohio’s wealth of artistic talent will be celebrated at the served as jurors for competitive exhibitions including EdOhio Art League’s 100th Anniversary exhibition at the Ohio ward Hopper, Grant Wood, David Smith, Philip Pearlstein, Arts Council’s Riffe Gallery July 30 – October 25, 2009. Ann Hamilton, David Pagel, Barbara Haskell, Lowery HERE and Beyond: Ohio Art League’s 100th Anniversary Stokes Sims, Klaus Kertess and Ingrid Schaffner. ThroughExhibition features 16 artists and employs an array of out its long history the League has included such distinmedia including painting, sculpture, printmaking, draw- guished members as Alice Schille, Roy Lichtenstein, ing, fabric and quilt works, installation and photography. Emerson Burkhart and George Bellows and currently serves more than 500 member artists. The Ohio Art League was established in 1909 by a group of 40 graduates of the Columbus Art School (now the Colum- HERE and Beyond shows us a great example of the differbus College of Art and Design). The Ohio Art League is a ent types of artists that make up and have made up the member-based nonprofit organization whose purpose is to Ohio Art League. “The art in this exhibition represents a enrich the visual arts community. The Ohio Art League is broad range of media and a diversity of aesthetic direcdedicated to providing its member artists with exhibition tions,” said Curator Margo A. Crutchfield. “While some of and professional development opportunities while foster- the artists work within traditional practices such as still ing a dialogue between artists and the community. To life painting, drawing, or portraiture, others engage with achieve these goals the Ohio Art League promotes its abstraction, installation art, unusual printmaking member artists through interesting and thought provoking processes, or current directions in reconsidering still life exhibitions, offers informational workshops, lectures, edu- and landscape painting traditions.” cational programs and brings together art makers and enthusiasts creating a forum for inspiration among the Join the Riffe Gallery for the opening of HERE and Beyond: community at large. The Ohio Art League sponsors and Ohio Art League’s 100th Anniversary Exhibition on July 30 maintains a gallery in the historic Short North Arts District from 5p – 8p. Curator Margo A. Crutchfield will lead a tour

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of the exhibition on July 31 from noon – 1p. Artists in the show include: Sandra Aska, Columbus; Carol Boram-Hays, Columbus; Denise Buckley, Richmond Heights; Mary Fahy, Columbus; Sarah E. Fairchild, Columbus; Matthew Friday, Athens; Curtis W.M. Goldstein, Columbus; Nicholas Hill, Granville; Morris Jackson, Columbus; Ardine Nelson, Columbus; Brent Payne, Oxford; Stephanie Sypsa, Columbus; Alicia Jean Vanderelli, Columbus; Barbara Vogel, Columbus; Melissa Vogley-Woods, Columbus; Tom Ward, Columbus. The Ohio Arts Council’s Riffe Gallery is located in the Vern Riffe Center for Government and the Arts, 77 S. High St., Columbus, OH. Admission is free. Gallery hours are Tuesday, 10a – 4p., Wednesday and Friday, 10a – 5:30p, Thursday, 10a – 8p. Saturday and Sunday, noon-4p. Closed Mondays and state holidays. Visit www.riffegallery.org or phone 614.644.9624 for more information. Jaclyn Reynolds is Communications Specialist for Ohio Arts Council, a member organization of the Columbus Arts Marketing Association. CAMA’s mission is to promote awareness of and participation in the arts and cultural opportunities in Greater Columbus through collaborative marketing and public relations projects, and to provide professional development opportunities for members. For information visit www.camaonline.org.

OMG! A painting of corn! It matches my apartment! (it’s red and mustardy) Michael should buy it for me.

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by Dan Savage I’m a straight guy, and my first girl was very experienced - she was proud to say she’d been with at least 30 guys before me. When all was said and done, she said that I was the most well-endowed of any man she’d seen before. In all my subsequent experiences, the women I’ve been with have noted that I am a well-equipped dude, though none of them expected it. A couple of times, this fact has come up in conversation (that first lady made a point of passing this news on to friends), and most people’s reaction is to say that I’m just so unassuming that they wouldn’t expect that from me. It’s true; I’m rather shy. When it comes to women, I am the complete opposite of cocky. So here’s my question: Should I be advertising my “gift”? Am I supposed to be sharing my size with the world with the hopes that it pays off? Can it help me with the opposite sex to be sharing this fact early, or am I better off just letting the surprise kick in once it’s time to get naked? Huge Hugh It’s better to be a nice, unassuming guy with a surprise in his briefs than it is to be another douchebag always going on about his cock, HH. And it doesn’t sound like you really need to talk up your cock: At least one of the women you’ve slept with is doing that for you. Good word of mouth is the best advertising, HH, so chill. I just got off the phone after another long-distance fight - I mean discussion - with my mother regarding her godson, my cousin “A.” I am SURE (and my brother and father agree) that A is gay, like his dad (long story). He talks incessantly about finding a nice Christian girl and settling down (although he doesn’t even date). It makes me want to vomit. Unfortunately, A has absorbed his mother’s reactionary religious dogma. I say he should get some therapy and try to have a happy and fulfilled life as the person he really is. My mother says he is “asexual.” I say he was scarred by his childhood (his father left his mother for a man and later died of AIDS). This argument has been going on for a decade. I’m not close enough to anyone in my extended family to feel comfortable bringing this up with my cousin directly or with any of his immediate relatives, but I feel miserable watching from afar and seeing A waste his potential for happiness. What I want (and the source of the basic argument) is for my mother to talk to him - she and A

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are very close - but she is convinced that he is “just not interested” in sex.

under your mother’s roof. Head off with your friends over college breaks, travel, watch porn. (Or better yet: Make some Can you think of any loving way to re- porn - see thestranger.com/hump for desolve this? tails!) Head home for the holidays if you must. And since your mother is inclined Wishes There Could Be An Intervention to use the details of your personal life that you share with her against you, Want an intervention? Stage one yourdon’t tell her anything about your perself. Intervene already and stop trying to sonal life. Visit with your mother when make your mother do it. If you’re not you’re home, don’t let her depose you. close to your cousin or your extended family, WTCBAI, then you have nothing to Could you tell me what the fuck is the lose. Confront your cousin, make a deal with those “Jonas” Brothers? I scene, save a life. mean, really: They look like three SHRIMPS! I am a 21-year-old bisexual female. I’ve never really been close with my What’s The Appeal? mum, and since I moved away from home three years ago it’s gotten I don’t know what the deal is with the worse. I know that she loves me beJonas Brothers either, WTA, but I’m not cause I’m her daughter, but I don’t an 11-year-old girl, so I don’t think I’m think she likes the young adult I’m supposed to see the appeal of the Jonas growing into. Yet she insists I visit her Brothers. and stay at her house for weeks when I have time off from college so she can I don’t think it’s legal for me to see their talk me out of liking anything she appeal. hates. When I’m with my friends, I’m quite witty and outgoing, particularly And this probably wouldn’t be legal, but about sex. But when I stay with her, my they would sell a lot of DVDs: I think the personality becomes crippled and Jonas Brothers should lose their hypedstunted by her authority. I seem to just and-pimped virginities to the Hanson end up not saying anything at all for Brothers. It’s not just the perverse symfear of offending her. Last year I stumetry of it all that appeals - two boypidly told her that I like watching porn, bands-of-brothers coming together - but now it’s something that she’s always that the Jonas Brothers are now what the bringing up. For example, I got into a Hanson Brothers were then, and the conversation with her about a recent Hanson Brothers are now what the Jonas breakup and asked her if all men were Brothers are destined to become. They like my cheating ex. She told me that were made - manufactured - for each she thought his cheating was my fault - other. They belong together. A because I watch porn, she said, I must Hanson/Jonas six-way would bring the have been sending out subliminal mes- country together. sages that I approve of women being sexually exploited. Help me figure this one out: Why are men such douche-drizzling assholes? She raised me to be a feminist, but I can’t bring myself to ask her if she Wish I Ate Pussy Instead would kick up this much of a fuss if I were a 21-year-old man who watched The only reason you think men are assporn. I don’t know what to do to make holes - douche-drizzlers at that - is beher happy, short of having some sort of cause you fuck men, WIAPI, and so it’s aversion therapy. I feel really conmen who have hurt your feelings and flicted: Away from my mother, I feel fucked you over. If you ate pussy, you’d like a confident, empowered young be fucking women and women would be woman in my social life and my sex stomping on your heart and you’d quickly life; when I’m with her, I feel like this come to hate women. And if you were a mute, angry, introverted little victim. straight man, you’d be complaining about women; and if you were a fag, I know exactly what I’d do if this were you’d be complaining about men; and if a relationship, but how should I resolve you were bisexual, you’d be complaining a difficult mother/daughter relationabout everyone and everything. ship? So try to have some perspective and cut Can I Dump My Mother? men some slack and hang in there, okay? They drizzle douche, for sure. But If hanging out with your mother makes so do you - so do we all. you miserable, CIDMM, don’t hang out with your fucking mother. You’re a 21Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly year-old adult - not a young adult, not podcast) every Tuesday at someone “growing into” adulthood, but thestranger.com/savage. mail@savan adult already - and you’re in no way agelove.net. obligated to spend all of your free time photo by Danner-Morris

AgreatresourceforfriendsandfamiliesdealingwithcomingoutissuesisPFLAG.Seepage11forcontactinfoonthemandothergreatorganizations.

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Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow....

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by Chris Hayes Super Star hair stylist Gary Motto is known for two things: freaking awesome hair dos and having a great time. This stellar stylist holds his residency at Max the Salon in the Short North (a Charles Penzone production), right next to the old East Village. If you don’t know him, you should. His Rolodex rivals our own. Gary has been pulling weaves for, as of this month, 20 years! (See how that timing worked out?) He started playing salon back in junior high school and it wasn’t until his mother suggested that he do it for real that Gary considered it as a career option. Giving it a twirl he headed to beauty school and realized he could rock some hair out. High on adrenaline and hairspray, he came out the next day. Hailing from Bridgeport, Ohio, he made his way to CBus in pursuit of career advancement - which is exactly what he found. Now a Senior Hair Professional, Mr Motto is one of the highest-ranking professionals in his company. Gary is also a member of the Creative Team for the CP empire. That team handles all the parties, programs and philanthropy that the salon is involved in. Gary therefore is involved with not only planning the annual company party and fashion shows, but great charities like Dress for Success, Make a Wish and Cancer Awareness. If Gary looks familiar but you just can’t place him, he used to work at Max in German Village, but made the pilgrimage to SN shortly after Penzone’s acquired the Steven Colatruglio Salon four years ago this month (more convenient timing, no?). You might also recognize him as one of our town’s premier nightlife mavens - he’s who I call when I’m looking to have fun. When Motto isn’t making the world a prettier place to live in, he’s out and about taking part in all the city has to offer. A firm believer in living life to the fullest, Gary can be seen anywhere from the museum, to the park with his dog Hazel to a slamming house party hosted by one of his many friends. His favorite time though is probably dancing. You can catch him cutting the rug anywhere from Tradewinds, to Sugar to Skully’s Ladies 80s. If you bump up to him on the floor, make sure you buy him his favorite cocktail: a Grey Goose and tonic with lime. He’ll love you for it! A contemporary man himself, Gary’s fashion is a modern one combining rock and classic pieces with a splash of leftover 80s. Kahkis and blazer this boy is not. When asked what he thinks being modern means these days, he says for both guys and gals “it’s all about being self-reliant, being true to yourself, being open-minded to fashion, lifestyles and the world. It’s not about finding someone to complete you. It’s knowing you are complete on your own.” If you want Gary to get his gifted hands on your hair, he’s just an appointment away - if you can get in (summer vacations have made it a little easier these days). But don’t let his bountiful bookings make you think there’s any pretention in Motto’s world. His client base is a diverse mix of young and old, men and women, students and professionals. He does everyone - literally. Not sure exactly what you want or wondering if your crazy idea will actually work? Gary’s greatest gift is his ability to make sure your coif is not only something that works for your coloring and structure, but that it’s a ‘do you can actually manage on your own. Motto’s motto: consultation - it’s is extremely important. Give him a shout. To book a time with Gary call 614.418.5350 or log onto www.maxthesalon.com. Tell him outlook sent ya!

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GARY

“Keep it clean, Aquarius!”

for your partner, or a prospective partner. A small Mercury and Venus are in har- gift from far away would be mony, boosting everyone’s very charming. Keep it inexcharm; Jupiter and Eris are pensive. Extravagance could also making nice, opening po- be overwhelming and scary. litical opportunities. Alas, these pairs are at odds AQUARIUS (January 20 – Febagainst each other, upping ruary 18): Efforts to be helpful chauvinist competition. If you and supportive at work may can’t reach across tribal lines carry erotic overtones. Be nicely, stick to your own folks. careful to keep it clean! Even Food and culture are good. innocent remarks may carry Putting down others is not! unwitting doubles entendres that can be taken the wrong LEO (July 23 – August 22): way. Trust your instincts handling money. Letting others second PISCES (February 19 – March guess you can throw you off. 19): Fun and games in the Their ideas may be fine for kitchen, whether that’s colphilosophy and ideals, but in laborative cooking or getting the real world you still know hot and wild on the butcher best. block, can spice up your partnership, but could also bring VIRGO (August 23 – Septem- up surprising old memories. ber 22): Your tongue is like a knife, but whether it’s for ARIES (March 20 – April 19): spreading honey or cutting You have a lot to offer in comdeep is up to you. Focus on munity politics, but try to your own health and hygiene focus on the grunt work, the to distract you from being task at hand. For all you have overly critical of colleagues. to say, keeping your nose to the grindstone will sharpen LIBRA (September 23 – Octo- your wit and remind you to reber 22): Trust your own inspect other views. sights and instincts when dealing with authority figures. TAURUS (April 20 – May 20): Resist suggestions from oth- Efforts to charm superiors ers and your own impulses to can go overboard and backget too clever. Save the fun fire. Use that sugar as energy and games for your partner for your creative efforts, and and your peers. as for the boss, let him or her in on a secret or a compliSCORPIO (October 23 – Nocated project that you may vember 21): Opening your need help with. home to your inner circle will guarantee your spot on the GEMINI (May 21- June 20): The team. Be a creative host. trick to managing home fiFancy pastries or imported nances is not to get competicheeses will win influence. Or tive. Basic practical stuff is maybe a new love is the just one foot in front of the creamy, exotic sweet that will other. Keep it simple! Liberate impress your friends. your busy brain on philosophical questions where it can fly SAGITTARIUS (November 22 – freely. December 20): A critical eye and maternal concern will CANCER (June 21- July 22): help you spot and nurture op- You’re looking more magiportunities. Clever observacally delicious than a bowl full tions are most helpful if you of leprechauns. Your charm don’t actually say them – es- and confidence can help you pecially at work! Let that wit get whatever you want in love quietly sharpen the aforeor work, but don’t overdo it mentioned critical eye. with bosses. They may see you as threatening competiCAPRICORN (December 21 – tion. January 19): Go out of your way to do something unusual Jack Fertig, a professional astrologer since 1977 teaches at the International Academy of Astrology www.astrocollege.com. He can be reached for personal or business consultations at www.starjack.com,

OneofGary’stipsontrendstoavoidisshavedsidesbecauseofthelengthoftimeittakestogrowbackin.ThathoweverisexactlywhathedidtoKatabove.

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The first postal service in America arose in February of 1692 with a grant from King William & Queen Mary.

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2009-08-01 outlook: columbus  

The Modern (Wo)Man Issue -fashion

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