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The Spirit of the Ceremony
Another important consideration is the officiant, Maddox says. Couples who have a more active and formal faith will require one type, while those who aren’t religious or might be coming into the marriage from diverse religious backgrounds would require quite another. For some, like the Sheikers, the officiant might be a member of the family, or perhaps part of a house of worship they already attend. Others, like the Truonos, will hire an outside officiant who will help them make the type of service they envision a reality. Neither of the Truonos were particularly religious, “and the vows were representative of that,” Brian says. “We mixed cultures and incorporated different things into the ceremony. And in that sense it was fun and meaningful.” Newark’s Lynda Daring, an ordained non-denominational minister in the Universal Life Church, has administered many vows over the years. “There’s a big culture shift right now,” she says. “I wouldn’t be in business if everyone was getting married in churches. I approach things passionately and way outside the box to help [a couple] focus on that bottom line” that they’re committing to a lifetime together. One of her first questions to couples is what their beliefs about marriage are. Are they more religious or secular, and what elements of religion might they want kept in or left out? “I tell them it’s OK if you don’t go to church. I’m just a person who loves bringing people together,” says Daring. In the end, regardless of unique venues, unexpected mishaps, the whims of weather or combining cultures, bringing people together is what weddings are all about. And it’s in that spirit that love—the true purpose of the day—wins above all.
TIPS ON CREATING A SPECIAL WEDDING • Sit down with your future spouse and figure out what’s most important for the wedding. “Once you’re on the same page for marriage, that will help you navigate the challenges of family, finances and staying true to your goal and your dream wedding,” says bride Dawn Sheiker.
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• Have a wedding date in mind and know your budget going in. “Budget is crucial. It’s everything,” says Christina Maddox of Heaven Sent Wedding Consultants. “It helps me narrow down venues and vendors. It is the beginning of your wedding and your reception.” • Know your beliefs and the tone you want the ceremony to set. That informs what kind of service you want, says wedding officiant Lynda Daring. “I want to find out what this is going to be about, because a couple is usually so wrapped up in plans about the tuxes and the dress.” • Even if you go totally non-traditional, know the traditions you want to acknowledge in the ceremony. “It’s a fine line when you go off the beaten track between keeping the sanctity of the ceremony without going too far into ‘we’re just having a big party,’” Sheiker says. “You have to balance that and really think.”
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