Young Abusive Relationships

Once or multiple times you heard your peers talk about abusive relationships, but what does it look like? How can you tell the difference between a healthy relationship versus an unhealthy one? How can you avoid it? A new relationship can appear sweet in the beginning, but it can drastically change for the worse. To avoid this kind of relationship you must be aware of the dangerous signs and behaviors.

Controlling Partner

Your partner may be fussy about what you want to do or how you present yourself, this behavior may seem like an innocent gesture but really a ploy to lessen your will to have autonomy. This behavior can appear verbally, they may say things like “You are not going anywhere, you already went out this week.” Or “Find something else to wear, I don’t like it.” How your partner sounds when speaking to you is important. Physical signs can include he or she is hiding your car keys, bus pass, cancelling your Uber ride, holding you up with meaningless conversations or arguments.

What does it feel like? If they constantly have a reprimanding or a stern voice when speaking to you that is a sign that they are trying to place authority over, you. This constant behavior can mentally drain you to the point that you may allow them to have their way.

Suffocating Partner

You may perceive your partner as someone who is overprotective and genuinely concerned for your wellbeing but if you are constantly feeling alone or isolated from the outside world that is not the case. Your partner is purposely suffocating and isolating you to keep a firm grasp on your life. When you and your partner go out to an event where other people are attending, they may demand that you always stay by their side and may get hysterical if you decide to leave them for a brief period. When you are having a conversation with others, their attention may be heavily focused on you and the people you talk to, or they will participate in the conversation, and when questions are directed towards you, they will immediately answer for you.

A suffocating partner may constantly loom over you, giving you no time or space to yourself, they want to take up all your time, and leave no room for you to spend time outside of the relationship. While using computer or handheld device, they may feel the need to monitor your activity to make sure you are not doing anything to “destroy” the relationship. Controlling partners may say things like “You don’t love me,” “You are tired of me,” “You need to spend time with me,” “I bet you are about to go cheat on me.”

If these signs are attached to your current relationship, please seek help, abuse in any form is never okay!

Shayla McClendon