Dictionary for Fun. Boris Revchoun.

ADD to put something together with something else. You add two and two to make five to be sure you are already drunk.

ADDRESS the name and number of your house and the street and town where you live; last stronghold of your memory in its losing battle against sclerosis.

ADMIRAL a very important officer in the navy; in restaurants he is often taken for a door-keeper.

ADULTHOOD – is not the period of time in your life when you stop listening to your parents’ allocutions but the moment when you begin feeling sorry that you didn’t listen to them attentively enough when a child.

ADVANCE underpaid for unfinished.

ADVERTISING based on the science of human weaknesses practices of persuading an audience to buy commercial products or services.

Newspaper ads increase the load on the readers’ expenses while TV advertising increases sudden load on the city sewer.

ADVICE guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.

The best way to achieve success is to follow the advice that we give to others.

AFFECTION a tender feeling of fondness or liking toward another person.

The surest symptom of someone’s affection towards you is his call in a drunken state.

AFLOAT floating on the water, or lately on oil.

AGE the approximate number of years of a woman.

AIR 1. the mixture of gases which we breathe, now mainly gas- exhaust; 2. a manner of presenting oneself that conveys an impression of a quality.

The sillier is the speech, the more confident must be its delivery.

AIRCRAFT any machine that can rise in the air and move through it, except for those lifted by a tornado.

ALCOHOL a liquid that adds intoxicating constituent to spirituous beverages. Alcohol can neither add something to one’s intellect, nor deprive it of something. Alcohol can only check whether a person has any intellect or not. Alcohol is a sort of anesthesia that allows one to endure the operation called life.

4